I wish I could debug mosquitoes.. this way I could leave them hanging on a breakpoint all night and prevent them from flying next to my ear just before I fall asleep

thanks to git I get to exercise every day.. I push constantly

Hey... Is this... A picture of Napolean crossing the alps while giving devRant a shameless plug?

Nah. Can't be. Everyone knows that he's a soulless PM. Figures that he's using light theme.

So... Yeah... Code quality

$50,000+ Computer Science fucking diploma, yet here I am on a Sunday evening doing data entry coz there is no one else to do it!

how about that Linux coming to Windows business? i know normal people couldn't give a shit. what about you guys? +1 if you think it's awesome, comment why if you think it's bad.

I feel like DevRant owes me some Vitamin D.

A man flying in a hot air balloon suddenly realizes he’s lost. He reduces height and spots a man down below. He lowers the balloon further and shouts to get directions, "Excuse me, can you tell me where I am?"

The man below says: "Yes, you're in a hot air balloon, hovering 30 feet above this field."

"You must work in Information Technology," says the balloonist.

"I do" replies the man. "How did you know?"

"Well," says the balloonist, "everything you have told me is technically correct, but it's of no use to anyone."

The man below replies, "You must work in management."

"I do" replies the balloonist, "But how'd you know?"

"Well", says the man, "you don’t know where you are, or where you’re going, you expect me to be able to help. You’re in the same position you were before we met, but now it’s my fault."

*Scrolling through devRant*

*Battery at 10%*

*Scrolls through devRant faster*

Thanks to your tips guys, my job interview went butter smooth! Got some good feelings about it!

10 +1s and @dfox will send me a devRant squishy ball. #jkbutiwishhewould

so I had a very important video conference for some rather large cloud infrastructure that Im engineering. I decide to look "smart" so i decided to wear a jersey during the video call. I aced the meeting, happy people all round. I walk to my room and my wife says "you do know your jersey is inside out...and back to front..and the label is sticking out from under your chin....How did the meeting go?" me:"..fine until you pointed out a look like a 2 year old dressed me !" ... well thats one way to kill the happy feels!

I'm having one of those days where I just feel completely useless at programming

copy and paste for avoid te fatigue.... My teacher making a exercise of programming

😂😂😂😂😂

I'm curious, is the majority of the devRant community from the UK, US .. or elsewhere?

My Neighbors still have written "Merry X mas" on their window... I am not sure if they're dead or just using IE

Php is kim kardashian of Programming Language 😁😁

History is not made by people who use incognito windows

My first code :-
#include<stdio.h>
void main()
{ printf("Hello Divya"); }

Output :- I have a boyfriend...

Person: So what do you do for a living..
Me: (here we go)... I am an information security analyst working in an incident response team for x company. I do log collection and manage a large scale correlation engine.
Person: Oh, so are you super smart or something? (Blinks her eyes and continues with blank stare)
Me: Uh... Smart enough I guess.
Person: Can you hack things like a hacker.
Me: That really isn't my job...
Person: What's your job again?
Me: Computer guy
(She lights up)
Person: Why didn't you just say that? I can understand that.

Yeah... I seem to have painful conversations like this often.

"Software and cathedrals are much the same – first we build them, then we pray."

Yup, that's how we work ^_^

When your family asks what you do, and just walk away confused after you explain it..

I hate those movies/tv series in programmer just tap on some keys and says it's done. this makes programming/coding looks so easy.

FUCK YOU MAN ITS NOT EASYYYY

I'm so easily distracted...
Set my self the target of planning a project and then doing a straight Hackathon while writing the most optimised code I can while programming.

Long story short.. Ended up sellotaping a lazer pen to my cats collar and watched her chase her self round the house.
Very productive day.

Visual studio just crashed. I hadn't been CTRL+S'ing for an hour or so. I was raging at myself! Took quite a bit of time to refocus.

Re-wrote it in half the time and it feels better written and commented. Now annoyed at myself for being so pissed off beforehand! >_<

I've converted an empty bedroom in my house into an office and close the door when i code. when i finally leave my dungeon, my dogs are always laying down in front of the door, tails all a'waggin.

A SQL query goes into a bar, walks up to two tables and asks, "Can I join you?"

Q: "Whats the object-oriented way to become wealthy?"

A: Inheritance

Spends whole day trying to figure out a strange build error in Android Studio.

Just updating the studio fixed it!