Almost everyone is using WordPress, and here I am, looking at the beautifull Ghost, not understanding others.

Code review:
i ? plus.push(i) : --i ? neg.push(i) : zeros.push(i) || printThis() || checkAge() || !!window.MediaSource...

F***ing such a brilliant programmer, spent 4 hours to write it in 1 line, and will take your the guy who replaces you 4 hours to decipher, why are you so adverse to writing #readablecode?!!!

\n is cheap, if(){} is too

This isn't math class where a 3 line proof gets you kudos, stop wasting my time with your genius.

the boat was sinking in the middle of the sea,
athlete: I can swim my way out,can you?*
dev: no, but I can write code for "help me!" in 10 languages

Everyone is asleep and I am happily coding away....bliss :D

Hence DVD Rip

#3am #realization #truth_hurts

Do I get a stress ball once I hit 1000 ++?

Franz is his name, he is our new programmer. He got task to made a calendar to display ongoing ads with javascript, and damn good he done it fast. Until today, he not coming because he got ill and i have to edit his calendar code because there's a change request.I look at his code and thinking how he read this code? no indentation, bracket everywhere, etc. Then I call him:

Me: Franz, can you explain your code to me?
Franz: Sure, but.. umm.. I forgot to bookmark the stackoverflow link.
Me: ...

Feeling good , finally got the time to start on my side-project that has mentally occupied my mind for a while. Let the code out 😊

When you just can't dumb down what you did so PM can understand..

my desperation when debugging spaghetti code

Not sure how other developers handle this but I just had a break down and do not want to see another piece of code for at least a week :/

My reaction when my coworker pushed the code overwriting my recent changes

for each($email as $stuffToDo){
if($stuffToDo === $moreCrap){
ignore();
}
}

Girl I met asked what I do for fun outside of work and training. Brain threw nullreference exception.

"Added more bugs to fix later" :D

cracking the job interview

where are my Trello peeps? Evernote? what's your favorite productivity app?

Hardest part of bring a newbie programmer? Figuring out which keywords to use when you search Google, to get the right answer

Me: I just wanna write code.
Management:

That is one way to do it.

I got called into a "personal development" meeting with the department lead, apparently my vocal and innovative cursing during coding/debugging is disruptive to the entire floor.

Leaving my current job, after being there for 10 years straight after uni, in 2 weeks! I have now been taken out of development and have to somehow write confluence docs of all my knowledge... Fml

When non programming rant posted

Error handling done properly.

Some random company just sued one of my eCommerce client for web accessibility 🙌🏼

I am a simple man. I see a bug - I fix it. Then, I fix my fix of the bug. Then, I just fix my fix of my fix of the bug. Then, (error: maximum call stack size exceeded)

It the time to play with your code, folks!

Phone rings...
'I'm calling about the car accident you had recently that wasn't your fault.'

Me: 'Yup, ok. I'm surprised at how quickly you got through!'

Them: 'Could you tell me when the accident was?'

Me: 'This morning before work'

Them: 'And whereabouts did this happen?'

Me: 'My living room'

Them: 'That's strange. Were you driving at the time?'

Me: 'No, I was on foot, I generally am in my living room.'

Them: 'Were you injured?'

Me: 'I sustained some pain in my foot'

Them: 'So you were hit by a car? Do you remember the make and model?'

Me: 'Yes, it was a red Ford, but I'm not sure which model.'

Them: 'Did you get the registration number?'

Me: 'I'm not sure it had one. The car was quite small'

Them: 'Did you get the driver's name?'

Me: 'It was James Jones'

Them: 'Could you describe the driver?'

Me: 'About two foot tall, blonde hair, green top, dungarees'.

Them: 'Did you know the driver?'

Me: 'Yes, he's my two year old son'

Them: ...(click)...

Background story:
One of the projects I develop generates advice based on energy usage and a questionare with 300 questions.

Over 400 different variables determine what kind of advice is given. Lots of userinput and over a thousand textblocks that need to show or not.

Rant:
WTF do you want me to do when you tell me. It's not giving the right advice for the lights.

Why the for the love of.. do I need to ask you everytime. If something is not working. Tell me what and for wich user. Don't tell me calculation whatever is not working, I don't know that calculation. Your calculations are maintainable in your cms.

And how, like I really wonder, do you expect me, when not telling me what user is having this problemen to find and fix it, You just want me to random guess one of the thousands users that should be given that specific advice?

FCK, like 80% of my time solving problems is spend trying to figure out wtf your talking about.

And then what a miricale the function is doing exactly what is it doing but you forgot a variable. It's not like the code I write suddenly decides it does not feel like giving the right answer.