AboutVoIP Administrator and phone phreak. Previous work referenced in 2600 and at DEF CON 2016 DEF CON Speaker. BSides speaker and enthusiast.
Skillsasterisk, bash, ruby, Python, Java, SQL
Joined devRant on 9/20/2016
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I've had two DevOps engineers ask me how I deploy new pipelines so quickly.
I show them how I automate the automation.2
What the FUCK is the point of submitting a PR, if you're going to approve my code, without looking at it, and then LEAVE ME to further refactoring.
I don't mind the refactoring. At. All.
What I DO mind, is being told "yerp, looks good" and then standing aside as I break everything.
New level of efficiency/laziness:
Used Tasker to autodial me into my daily stand-up conference calls. If my "AtWork" variable is set by the calendar entry, and If my "Jabra" headset is connected.
I don't have to remember conference codes...or keep track of the clock to call in on time.9
Don't troubleshoot over my shoulder.
Don't point at the screen over my shoulder.
Don't suggest the troubleshooting step I'm currently on, while pointing at the screen and whispering over my shoulder.
Don't think out loud as you are troubleshooting over my shoulder.
1. I like making stuff that I can use again and again later.
2. I can't draw for shit, so it's a way to be creative.
3. Automating/scripting things is a general passion.
Tales From "PM vs Chen"
PM: *Walks up to Chen's cube*
Chen(that's me): *Taking off headphones* "Are we about to have another meeting about the meeting we just had?"
Chen: "Okay. Just checking." *Waits for PM to share his thought*
PM: We're almost done.
Chen: "Yes" *Waits again for PM to share his thoughts*
PM: *While walking away* "Making Progress"2
I swear this is the PM's first time experiencing a scenario where you fix a bug and two more pop up.
"ThIs ShOuLd Be SuPeR sImPlE, gUyS"
PM: Did you start looking into that stress testing tool.
Me: Literally looking into it right now
PM: Ah cool. So you'd be ready tomorrow?
PM: Why not?
Me: I literally started looking at the tool. I can't promise anything.5
The PM asks me almost hourly about my progress on this project. I am slowly training him to ask me through PM instead of face to face.
Meetings are now being taken at my desk through apps like Hangouts Meet instead of the Conference Room.
I'm chipping away, guys and gals....I'm chipping away.3
Pushed some code last night. Can't remember exactly how I wrote my changelog. I think it was coherent? Checked DevRant first.
!rant at all.
Finished my first week in my new DevOps Engineer role. Feels good, and I'm loving the change of pace.1
I have several stories from the same mentor. Programming, networking etc...
2 of my biggest lessons from him:
1. "If it has to be done more than once, it can be scripted".
2. "He who controls the network packet wins".
I wish clients knew what went into building custom features.
"Oh, you can't just turn it on?"
No...I have to write the gah damned feature FFS!
I have two managers outside of the bathroom having an impromptu meeting while I'm blowing it up.
...this is what causes psychological complexes.1
I fucking swear the servers in the data center know when the fuck I'm going on vacation.
YOU CHOOSE TO DIE NOW YOU PIECE OF SHIT!?
It's okay. It is no longer a critical box, but gah dammit.2
What I want to say to this client: You are the reason I am secretly looking for a new job.
What I say/email to them instead: I'll review the changes that were made and make some tweaks to see if it helps relieve the issues you are experiencing.
I start with the broad concept first.
"In the end, the application needs to do <this>. Okay. In order to get to <this> the application first has to know <that>".
Then, I just keep breaking this down until I get to the bits and pieces. I see the forest and then zoom in on the trees.1
I have come to realize that my stress comes from how inefficient my clients use their tech.
I have to stop caring. Is it up? Is it running? Good. That should be where my investment ends.
I shouldn't fear a heart attack or stroke because of some clients' inefficiency.
IT'S JUST SO DAMN HARD.
Co-worker: I started having this issue like two weeks ago.
Me: Two weeks ago? Why are you only telling me now?
Co-worker: I dunno. I just stopped using <program> and worked around it.
Me: Thanks for the notice, man. That helped me tremendously /s -_-
FUCKING PUT IN A TICKRT OR TELL ME THAT THERE IS AN ISSUE.
Boss: Don't be afraid to break things
Me: *breaks things*
Boss: Why did you break things?
I tried something new. Otherwise, I am hitting a wall.