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So this fucking happened today.
Me: *sees support ticket coming in about some kind of login issue*
Me: *opens issue*
"Hello, I can't seem to login. There's an error"
Me: *sighs and thinks "at least give me that FUCKING error message then." *kindly replies with asking if they could send me the error message*
"Here it is. I don't understand what is going wrong
and what I have to do"
Me: *looks at error message*
"Invalid customer ID. Please make sure that your ID is correct. You can find it in the activation email we sent you when you registered".
😐 😶 😦
Me: *thinking okay what the fuck, are you fucking retarded or something?*
Me: *kindly replies: "It seems that you are not using the correct customer ID. You might want to look for it in the activation email we sent you!"*
"Oh okay thanks, how did you figure that out?"
Me: 😵 😐 😶 😭 🔫
Seriously what the actual fucking fuck.27 -
The easiest way to get into software development: Learn from someone with more experience.
The easiest way to master software development: teach those with less experience than you.
Knowledge sharing is the basis of our industry. I can't ask people to share enough7 -
Dev: So how do you want this feature fixed?
Manager: It should work how it worked before.
Dev: I'm new to this feature, I don't know how it worked before or what is broken about it.
Manager: Well just make it work like it worked before.
Dev: I DONT KNOW HOW IT WORKED BEFORE THAT IS WHY I AM ASKING YOU. PLEASE TELL ME SO I CAN DO MY JOB.
Manager: Just how it worked before!
Dev: ...
Manager: ...
Dev: fuck you17 -
Please for the love of god name your variables in a sensible way! How the FUCK am I supposed to read your shitcode if you decide to write 6 (!!!) nested loops with variables each named by exactly one character. With no comments whatsoever!
I would rather crack password hashes than this nonsense.
13 -
I've been working since 0700. It is now 2343 and we may have 90 more minutes. I'm going to be unpleasant tomorrow. Please send coffee.14
-
What if your programming language would be chosen by The Sorting Hat from Harry Potter?
You would sit like:
*please not php, please not php, please not php*3 -
Every Windows update be like:
Please reconsider using Edge over _, it has Webkit now!
Please reconsider reenabling Cortana.
Please reconsider using Bing.
Please reconsider reenabling sharing all metrics with us.23 -
*gets called by recruiter*
R: “We have a job in IT for you at one of our biggest clients”
M: “Okay, what exactly would I be doing?”
R: “Uh I don’t know, we haven’t received an actual job description”
M: “.... seriously?”4 -
1.) Please make WordPress die();
2.) Please prevent recruiters from getting my contact info.
3.) Please ban all "coder meme/joke" sites from instagram. They repost long dead jokes and the jokes don't even make sense if you know how to code.8 -
Dad: "Install this apk for me"
*try it and installation fails*
Me: "I checked the repo and it's for a much older version of Android. Won't work for you."
Dad: "Don't be a quitter. It can definitely be done."
Please stop asking me for help.6 -
Don't ever ever forget to push before leaving office.
I repeat : Don't ever ever forget to push!
Sends app to client.
At home and decides to check if the changes actually worked just to realize it crashes because i forgot to comment out my dummy test data.
*On a bus back to the office at midnight*5 -
People, for God's sake PLEASE at least try to understand the code you are copy-pasting ... now I have to debug a weird function because of someone who didn't.4
-
Me: rm -rf /
Bash: permission danied
Mom: don't forget the magin word 😊
Me: alias please="sudo"
please rm -rf /
Bash: BOOM ! 🎆2 -
Please Java and all java shit, take more memory I don't need it -_-
16GB doesn't seem to be enough to have a VM and Android Studio Open but it is more than enough to have
1. Visual Studio
2. SQL Server Management Studio
3. VM
4. FireFox
5. Visual Studio code
Fuck. This. Shit!
20 -
$ sudo pacman -Syu
*enter*
"283 updates available"
The only thing I can think of is:
Please, don't break my system.
Please, don't break my system.
Please, don't break my system.
Please, don't break my system.
'$ y' *enter*
*gives me creeping horrors*10 -
Today a colleague was making weird noises because he was modifying some data files where half of the data needed to be updated with a name field, there were 4 files all about 1200 lines big.
I asked how he was doing and he said he was ready to kill himself, after he explained why I asked why he was doing if manually. He said he normally uses regex for it but he couldnt do this with a regex.
I opened VS code for him, used the multiselect thing (CTRL+D) and changed one of the files in about 2 minutes. Something he was working on for over half an hour already.... He thanked me about a million times for explaining it to him.
If you ever find yourself in a position where you have a tedious task which takes hours, please ask if somebody knows a way of doing it quicker. Doing something in 2 minutes is quite a bit cheaper and better for your mental state than doing the same thing manually In 3 hours (our estimate)4 -
Magento is a special kind of tool.
- >20GiB of files? ✔
- >1 GB database? ✔
- Memory needed for scripts >768 MB? ✔
- Script max. exec. time 5 hours? ✔
- Slow ass website? FUCKING ✔
- Slower deployment than a vote on a country wide legislation? FUCKING ✔
- Shitty crap pile of STD-ridden code? I BET YOUR STINKING ✔
Magento, sincerely, please die in agony.11 -
Judge : I sentence you to the maximum punishment....
Me : ( whispering) please be death , please be death...
Judge : learn javascript
Me : Damn !!10 -
Dear designer, if you're generating assets please make sure you're naming them right. And oh, get rid of that .DS_Store thing please.10
-
Getting real fucking sick of shitty websites excessive security measures!
1. Username
2. Password
3. Captcha
4. Mandatory 2FA
We don't recognize your IP, please log into your email, click the link, get redirected and complete steps 1-4 again! Also the site will time out in 10 minutes if you aren't actively using it. Have a nice day!
Go fuck yourself.7 -
cw: I need a server to put my node backend
me: sure, I'll run a docker container for you
cw: nice, I've never worked with docker but I learn quickly, I'm already reading the Docker file docs
me: no wait, you don't need to learn anything, you'll be inside the container, so you only need an ssh connection and that's it
cw: this Dockerfile stuff is really complicated, it'll take me a while, but it's ok you don't have to worry, I like learning new things
me: you won't need that, just imagine it's a cloud server with Ubuntu installed, you only have to use it, I'll put node, git and ssh there for you
cw: ok got it, I'll have to learn the commands to run the docker, I'm on windows but I can use PowerShell and stuff I'll figure it out
me: ...
cw: ssh is a linux command right? does it have a push or publish option? how do you upload files there
me: ...you can use a ftp client but you'll need ssh to run the node server
cw: ok, I'm almost done with the Dockerfile, I only need to add git and nodejs, I'm starting to understand this thing...
me thinking: yeah keep doing that, you're such a crack, such a quick learner...
This son of a bitch is either a retard or is doing it on purpose and laughing at me the whole time, making my life so miserable, but I'm about to go insane with this dude, I'm proud of how I've been able to control myself, BUT ONE OF THESE DAYS I'LL LOSE MY COOL AND FORCE THIS MOTHERFUCKER TO DRINK A BIG POT OF BOILING, SALTY AND STINKING VOMIT WITH A SIDE OF STEAMING DIARRHEAL GREEN DOG SHIT WITH WHITE CHOCOLATE CHIPS WHILE I PUT MY OLD CRT MONITOR TO GOOD USE BY BEATING HIS FUCKING HEAD WITH IT!!!3 -
Just got a signed contract for a new client's project. PLEASE don't be crooks! PLEASE pay me on time. PLEASE don't make my life miserable. Like the last one did.2
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What the hell is "4k mAh battery"? Come on guys, you know what that little 'm' means, please tell me you do.
You wouldn't say "4k miligrams". You wouldn't say "4k milliseconds". You wouldn't say "4k milliliters". So don't use "4k miliampere hours". It's dumb.
Just to be sure - everyone, repeat with me:
👏 0.000004 👏 MAh 👏 eqals
👏 0.004👏 kAh 👏 eqals
👏 4 👏 Ah 👏 eqals
👏 4000 👏 mAh 👏 eqals
👏 4000000 👏 nAh 👏
Thank for giving me 5k ms of your attention.19 -
Please stop talking to me, please....... As an introvert, please shut up and stop taking to me, there's a reason I don't continue talking to you after answering your questions.... its exhausting already!!!!!!14
-
apple sucks
iOS sucks
Xcode sucks
Cocoapods suck
iphones suck
can this company and OS please please die already21 -
I think: "please send us an email"
is a polite way of saying
"please fuck off and don't call again".
May be I'm wrong 🙄8 -
My windows pro licence got automatically downgraded to home when I turned my laptop on today. Turns out it's a known bug since last month. Just when you think they can't get any worse. Bitlocker doesn't work anymore(only supports pro) and here I'm sitting in front my encrypted drives helplessly.8
-
Cousin: my computer is broke
Me: oh, what happened?
Cousin: i dropped it and now it doesnt want turn on, can you fix it?
Me: im a programmer...
Cousin: yeah but you can fixed its the same thing!
Me:
4 -
FOR FUCK SAKE MAKE UP YOUR FUCKING MIND !!!!
Been working on an app at work for 9 months and now PM tells me customer wants to change flow of the app!!!
Kill me please ASAP!6 -
@dfox can you please implement a gang feature? Someone assigns an hashtag to some people and everytime this hashtag is called, the team members get a notif.
Adittionally, maybe you could add gang stats (how many new rants, how many times the hastag was mentioned etc...)36 -
Please, stop being afraid of git rebase.
Please stop merging master branch into feature branch just to fix pull request conflicts.2 -
Normal day with some guy that worked at the company. the guy was in his 11 month when this happened. and this was just one of so many wtf moments with him.
Me: hey man, you're gotta work with some frontend stuff, we need you to run mysql(for the backend) and apache. so install mamp, is super easy to get that working.
Me: please just donwload the pkg from this link and click `next` until finish.
Dude: okay, will do
-- some 10 minutes later. --
Dude: hey man I got a problem
Me: Whaaaat? you shouldn't, that shit never gives problem, everyone(literally) have that installed in their macs
Dude: it's true, I got an error, it says: `mamp it's not compatible with osx` ...
Me: oh man, that's so strange, mamp is likely made just for osx(and windows), and also we got all the macs with at least 1 version behind the latest osx. :(
Dude: it's true. I need help with that
-- now I go to the guy's mac and see the `error` message --
Me: hey, this says nothing like being uncompatible man, this CLEARLY says that can't be opened for *reads the error for him* . man, don't make things up, at least try to translate the error and give me the exact information of your `error`.
Dude: ...
Me: man please... I know you have your issues with the language, I do too, a LOT, but I use google translator if I can't read the shit. I can't sit here with you as your translator. -___-
7 -
Someone I know lost a job opportunity to an indian "consulting firm" later to be approached by the developers of said firm to help with a joke of a compensation.
This is glorious and one of the primary reasons why I hate trying to freelance.
Just imagine having an email with a thousand "Sir, please give how to do .....sir please this sir please that"
Absolutely gorgeous.11 -
Can someone just please come over and safe me? I am soooooo done with all this bullshit code. I understand why people loathe PHP, it enables totally worthless people to carry the title 'programmer' because hurrrdurrr look at my website, I made this. Fuck yes, you made that and you should SHAME yourself! What the actual flying fuck I can't begin to explain the monstrosities that I find checking out this worthless pile of fucking garbage.
User passwords saved as plaintext in database? Check!
Using hungarian notation, camecase and snakecase inconsistently? Check!
Typejuggling like you're the mainman of the Insane Clown Posse? Check!
Everything is a mess, there is no documenation, no consistency no nothing, this is straight from the 9th circle of programmers hell.
Aaaaaaarghhhhh I AM SO FUCKING DONE WITH THIS WORTHLESS PILE OF GARBAGE!!!!
The original dev prefixed every spagetthifile with his copyright shite so im gonna look him up and highfive him in the face with my laptop and after that printing out my resignation letter in comic sans fontsize 78 because FUCK YOU
So done.7 -
So now I have to pay taxes because I'm employed. Fair enough, sounds reasonable.
Go to the government's diseased scrotum of a webapp to tramit some ID stuff and shit. All good. Then I go to the bank, so I can open an account, so that I can receive the money, so that I can pay the government.
What happens? The guy at the bank tells me he can't access my ID, so he can't open my account. Understandable. I go once again to the gonorrhea infected maggotsoup that is the government's mother fucking webapp. THEY BLOCKED MY ID.
Problem? I had to attach images of some documentation, they say the images are illegible. I try again with a clearer image, ten fucking times the resoulution.
Is that good enough? NOOOOOOOOOO0=00=======0===000 oo O O OO O O, I am the government, my sole purpose in life is to be a dick in your asshole.
So what do I do? I, calmly, grab the documentation, go to the nearest office, and politely explain the situation to the dude behind the counter. Surely, he can verify himself that my papers are in order, no?
NO. HE CANNOT.
IT CAN ONLY BE DONE THROUGH THE APP.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME.
WE ARE DOOMED AS A SPECIES.
LISTEN TO ME, DEAR GOVERNMENT.
AND DEAR TAXMEN.
AND ASSOCIATED BUREAUCRATS.
PLEASE HEAR ME OUT.
IF YOU DON'T UNBLOCK MY ID, I CANNOT OPEN A BANK ACCOUNT.
IF I DO NOT HAVE A BANK ACCOUNT, I CANNOT RECEIVE ANY MONEY.
IF I CANNOT RECEIVE ANY MONEY, THEN I CANNOT PAY **YOU**.
SEE HOW THAT WORKS?
ITS OK.
JUST SUSPEND THE PAYMENT I OWE.
YOU KNOW, THE ONE THAT'S DUE IN A FEW DAYS??
OH RIGHT!
YOU'RE STILL ASKING ME FOR THAT MONEY.
SILLY ME.
I THOUGHT I MAY BE EXEMPT.
SINCE YOU YOURSELF HAVE FORBIDDEN ME FROM PAYING.
ARRHGHHGGHGHGHGHGH!!!!!!!!
YOU IRREDEEMABLY STUPID FUCK.10 -
Dear developers who create an electron based app... Yes it's easy to make custom titlebars but please... Please please please give us the option to use the system default title bars... Looking at you itch!
(Also stop assuming everyone uses windows and use the minimise > maximise > close to the right of the window, not everyone does)8 -
JIRA, the haiku (w/Bonus Dilbert strip)
Please make a ticket
Please move the ticket you made
Please tag your ticket
3 -
Me: *starts*
Windows: Pease restart
Me: *restarts*
Windows: Please restart again
Me: *motherfuckenly restarts*
Some bullshit security tool: please restart
And that's my morning.3 -
This is How I actually feel using Windows again after some time.. please wait. It will Just take One Moment.
-
when you don't have anything to rant about because you're fresh out if university and don't have a job so you don't feel like a full fledged dev. 😞😭 time to study for those interviews I guess.3
-
Byron (reckful) has committed suicide. He was one of the first big streamers on Twitch and a game developer.
He was suffering from depression and has been for quite some time. He always appears happy around friends. He did "joke" about committing suicide on his last stream. Watching the clip makes it obvious that there was some truth to the "joke".
Also, remember that you never know what someone online is suffering from or how that person may interpret a joke. Be careful and think about how your message is received.
Please seek help if you have suicidal thoughts or even signs of depression. It's not a sign of weakness. We all need help sometimes.7 -
Personal pet peeve.
I'm not a germophobe. But if your hands spend most of their time down your pants, or you've been eating food with them, or they're just generally disgusting, please wash before thinking of using my computer.
There is nothing I hate more than finding crusty fingerprints on my keyboard and mouse.
And if you're using my computer I likely know where you live. 🔪🔪2 -
Common Lisp code has (imo) one of the cleanest syntax possible in programming language. I really would like for Lisp dialects other than Clojure to make a heavy comeback. And we now hace Quicklisp which is a package repo for CL code.
I really want to see more people into Lisp, it really is a great language man you just need to get past the (()) and it makes sense I promise.
Guys please try CL. If you already have awesome code skills and have some free time try going throughe the gigamonkeys book. Completely free online and setting up an Emacs environment with SBCL or CLISP is a breeze. I use Lisp to experiment and it gives a lot of room for exploring new concepts.
Another cool language that is emerging is Smalltalk in the form of Pharo. If you have been casting asside OOP because of the way many mainstream languages do it then maybe you will like Smalltalk as a pure OOP form.
I just want more people in this shit and this community sure has some awesome programmers, so why not?
one of the leading dudes in CL is currently Eitaro Fukamachi, one dude...doing amazing things. My aim is to give him a hand.8 -
!rant
My laptop just died for the third time.
Need to buy a new one. Not a mac.
Linux machine with 15" screen, sdd, usb c, with 8gb ram and a graphics processor.
Suggestions?29 -
Dear God please if you help me fix this merge conflict, I'll be a better person.....please
......please 😭8 -
I got moved to a new team. My old team was truly agile, and my manager was very "off hands" and actually let us work.
My new team is an older team that practices a bloated abomination called SAFe Agile, and the manager gets into all the details to the point of removing autonomy.
Shoot me please.
Paradise lost. -
Conference call with customer:
Me: You want your customers to see orders that YOU cancelled on them? Are you sure about that? Won't that upset some of them?
Customer: Nope we want that.
Me: Uh ok....
-weeks later-
Customer: OMG OUR CUSTOMERS CAN SEE ORDERS WE CANCELLED!!!
ʅ͡͡͡͡͡͡͡͡͡͡͡(ƟӨ)ʃ͡͡͡͡͡͡͡͡͡͡
Like bro, I'm just the programmer but sometimes we understand things ..... stop and listen for a moment...4 -
So I decided to positively tackle the negative energy surrounding me these past few days. I tried to be productive. I went overboard, of course. Where is the fun in normal?
I wrote down all the urgent tasks I must die-die finish. Anyone closed with Asians will know the severity of the die-die and must combo. I started with tasks I have to finish in 3 days. Then in a week. Then in 2 weeks. I ended up creating more than 25 cards across my respective Trello boards.
The tasks that come to me always need minimum 3,4 working hours. Literally. The furthest deadline I see is Oct 15. The tasks I counted is more than 25. No appointments nor meetings were counted yet. It is not impossible. If I finish 2 tasks per day, 14 days is enough to complete all. I might have to continuously work 2 whole weeks of course. But it is still fine, right? Right, guys? Right? It's doable. Right?
I won't get any unskippable appointment within this 2 weeks. Right?
I won't get new tasks to finish within this 2 weeks. Right?
I won't have to guide other people how to do their tasks within this 2 weeks. Right?
I won't have to work other people's tasks when they absent within this 2 weeks. Right?
I won't have to entertain any annoying client because customer service team can't deal within this 2 weeks. Right?
I won't have to do other personal tasks within this 2 weeks. Right? (Like helping with creating a wedding slideshow for a friend marrying on Oct 28)
My life is totally fine. Right?2 -
Please, please for the sake of your born/unborn child, check whether the names of the entity attributes are not valid sql keywords.4
-
(2 months old in a company)
Team members to me: we are always there for you. Ask anything you need for.
Me(today): can you please discuss this topic with me?
Team member A: I'm sorry I'm busy
Me: okay
Me: can you please discuss this topic with me?
Team member B: I got to catch the train now.
Me: we catch same train. Let's discuss during the commute.
Team member B: NO. We will not get two seats together (it's easy to find two seats).
me (in my mind): I really need help here.
Me: okay2 -
OMFG!! My computer rebooted.. after VS is again performing voodoo stuff on my code..can you please fucking stop reformatting everything!? OMG it's driving me crazy, I've already disabled every format option I could find.. you piss me off one more time, I'm switching to np++!!!!6
-
For every feature added, two are requested.
- Spencer White
PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE ADD A HASKELL DUCK3 -
!shortRant
You all complaining about shit code from coworkers and about fucking WordPress. Looks different, but know what? Answer is the same.
Money.
Let me explain.
For example, you were born in USA. You can choose any profession, and if you became pro - you will be payed great. Looks nice, isn't it?
But if you were born in Russia, India, somewhere in Africa, whatever, you can be businessman, coder or you can suck a dick to the end of you life.
Not that great, yeah?
You are looking around and see great people with their own dreams and talents. But then you ask them "to which faculty are you going?" Answer is obvious. And that's how shitcoders are born.
And yeah, about WordPress. I'm mobile developer, I just can't understand how awful it is (or not, idunno). The only thing I know - if I were PHP developer, I could earn twice more than now. But why I didn't choose that way? Because I REALLY LOVE MY WORK. Everyday is good, I'm working at weekends often, because I want.
So please, shut up. You could never work with WordPress, but you motherfucker CHOOSE IT. You could switch to node, go, Java. Why the flying fuck you didn't? Oh yeah, MONEY. So please, shut up.
Devrant isn't for crying girls complaining about shit they did themselves. (No sexism, just metaphor, sorry girls)10 -
Ask fairly technical SEO question on Stack Exchange. Only response is a comment telling me it's be easier to do it differently and use HTML instead of Javascript.6
-
Please, please, please stop cornering me at the water cooler and asking me about work. This is my break.. I can answer your question in five minutes when I’m back at my desk. Thanks.4
-
My office gets seriously freezing at night 😐 stupid uk and its freezing nights 🙄
Really hard to program when it's near freezing
9 -
Windows, can you please restart without crashing please? It would be great.
Also, try to make my USB ports working. They were pretty useful
4 -
Calling All Developers!
This is very very random, but I am taking an IT Careers class for my software Development degree. As my last assignment, I need to interview a software developer. I don't know any personally and we were told we can reach out to people online who have had lots of experience. I don't know if this is too weird, but I need an interviewee just to answer about 20 questions. I'm so stuck and don't know where to go!6 -
Will be offline for few days.
If you see me like/comment to your post or post any rant until next month, please mention me there with "gitlog do your work or you'll not make it"5 -
Just received my new toy (pixel c).
Of fucking course it needs to download a huge update as soon as you start it
8 -
Wtf is wrong with me? Last night, I had a very hard time falling asleep even though it was 3am.
Today, I've now been laying in my bed for over 2 hours, and I'm not even close to falling asleep. It feels like my brain wants to think over every possible scenario of what could happen tomorrow...
Please send help...9 -
*Logging in my Google accout*
"Please set your phone number"
"Please set your home address"
Wow. Do you want my blood type too?11 -
So I am only 15 and I am trying to find local businesses that will allow me to either build them a website or let me redo their current website.
Doesnt sound thay complicated right? I have gotten to do it once, for a laid back coffee shop owner whos business went out of business a day after i emailed him about it being done. I mean how the hell does that even happen!
I have tried different types of emails and shown all of my work, which it is all good sites that look professional. Issue is alot of people dont trust email offers or dont trust me cause im 15. I am not much of a person who can walk into a store and talk to the owner about it, i am not social in that aspect.
So anyone have any ideas?5 -
Guys can you please explain why there are some nophp rants being posted? I don't know much about PHP but I'm currently learning it...40
-
@dfox
Please. Please please please!
Give us a setting to toggle "Mute notifs for this rant" by default.
I toggle it off on every post I comment on x.x9 -
You say UI (yoo I) but you say GUI (goo ey)
You say Char ( ch-r) but you say character (keh-recter)
You say gif but you say jif12 -
So I work at a digital agency and the second my manager heard Twitter had upped its character limit he started planning out all the new hashtags and emojis he’s going to include to max out the limit.
Please Twitter, stop.1 -
- So, you're a programmer? Then, please fix my printer!
- And you're an architect? Then, please fix my leaking roof!2 -
Just discovered the 3 cartoons on youtube from Dev rant and really enjoyed them. Quite funny. What I dont like is there are only 3 and they were so short. Looks like they were made a few years ago. Why did you stop making them? Please make more!5
-
I appreciate people making tutorials to help people learn, but please, please, please, choose a different topic than creating a task list next time.
-
I don’t understand how Microsoft can continue to ship functionality in modern versions of SharePoint that only work on IE11 (open in Explorer, open in InfoPath, Skype presence integration). The only reason my company has to make web apps compatible with that browser is because of the hot garbage that is IE11. Just kill the functionality and kill the browser. Please.
Yes I know *why* they only work in IE11, it’s because activex is a massive security hole, but just kill the functionality if you can’t recreate it in modern browsers.1 -
So I got some new methods to call, when I tried to call them the usual way, it didn't work quite well.
Surprised, I asked the coder of them.
"Yeah, we're using the new way, you don't mind ?"
nah, no problem, I'm starting to develop my skill in divination and mind reading, that was just my usual training.1 -
Can we all start using error codes for apis? I'm so sick of doing a reg exp check to see if the word "failed" is in your return message and having to change it every time you feel like updating the language.2
-
All Chinese who write github codes in English and comment on code in Chinese. Please please stop. Use one language.3
-
My family members don’t seem to understand that you can attach multiple photos to an email, so they send them one by one, even if that means 10 emails 🙄2
-
Gah... Outlook just froze because it can't connect to the mail server.... While I was drafting a long email....
Hope it doesn't crash, hope it doesn't crash.... Please please please...
-
Just passed 2 to 3 hours learning how to model a chair when I was almost at the end my pc shutdown randomly, I lost everything... Thank you life.3
-
*sends email to ops manager to explain nuget & git (yes, he is THAT guy)
*his reply "what's nuget?"
Ooooooooh! Why don't you open Google and do a fucking search you amazingly stupid twat!!! In what fucking era do you live in? What the fuck are you doing at work everyday, besides complaining about how time consuming your useless mundane tasks are? Take some of your undeserved salary and go educate yourself, you useless sack of shit! FUCK!
*meanwhile... Little grin on my face. *Shift+delete email.1 -
Can we all please try to keep emotion out of coding? It never ever helps to get upset at a code review.
Please please please accept constructive criticism, and dish it back to me! You can hate my code just don't hate me. :/2 -
That moment when you are doing systems programming and accidentally fork bomb yourself.
Please ctrl-save, please ctrl-save, please ctrl-save! -
Please update your Android Studio or your computer to the newer versions and stop ranting about Gradle build time.
Please!!!2 -
Sooooo our department boss (the CTO) just announced his resignation, handing over his responsibilities to the lapdog of the CEO (who is very fickle on process micromanagement). Seeing as our offshore team was the CTO's idea, we're kinda expecting retrenchment to hit us in a few months once said lapdog starts throwing out our (soon-to-be-former) CTO's initiatives and projects for her own...
Quite frankly, I wish we'd get redundated now instead of later. I'm starting to hate my job (an increase from before, when I simply began to dislike it) because of my team lead's incompetence (she can't even attend a meeting without hijacking it for some other unrelated topic/issue) and lack of transparency (she never shares everything, keeps a lot of critical knowledge to herself). You can smell her lack of trust from miles away.
Anyways, yeah, I'd like to get retrenched/redundated please. I could use the money, honestly. -
Please Please Please remove your shitty ass 'console.log' before commit i don't need your fucking "debug mode" in production8
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Hey all. I'm a fresh college grad with a bachelor's in Software Engineering minor in math. I'm applying to countless jobs with little to no luck hearing back. Any tips from you all? Much appreciated!!8
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Setting up a mail server is the worst experience I ever had. And whoever took part in the invention of these evil pieces shall get hit by doves, round cubes and get lost in /home/minzkraut/mbox FOREVER!!
HECK!5 -
I have a simple task to do but I want some of you guys' input.
So I need to set up a button that when pressed will cause a video to play on a nearby TV.
- This must happen instantly (or at most with a second or two of delay)
- Video will be "self-hosted" (not on Youtube or something) and will mainly stay the same
- No idea what kind of TV I'll get to work with (might be smart, probably not)
I'm thinking a Raspberry Pi with a button connected to it's GPIO and a static image displayed on the TV when idle. That way I can also manage/maintain it remotely via SSH and it should be reliable enough but on the other hand this could be an overkill...
Post your 2 cents please and thank you :)2 -
if(this.rant.value < 69)
RequestToReader("Please give upvote");
else if(this.rant.value > 69)
RequestToReader("Please give downvote");
else
RequestToReader("Comment: 'Yeah, Party!' "); -
@DevRantDevs could you please add the feature that i can view an image dorectly from the thread wothout loading the rant?
Is maybe someone else interested in this feature?6 -
Plz help...
I’m a student and developer, working every night my butt off for the last 2 years, not going to sleep till 2,3,4,5am, and taking tablets to keep my brain running and not fall asleep. Getting clients and about to sell my programming company in 2 months...
My programming teacher teaches the class such basic shit, she explains the topic very well, but for me she’s explaining how to do 2+2... last time I starred of to the window and almost started crying...
I’m very passionate about programming, Work sucks cause I need to make secure smart systems with math that take forever, I want to at least enjoy it In class, but it’s torture, fucking torture...
What should I do?4 -
All hail, king of the losers!
Ah, being rushed!
Don't point that thing at me!
Yes. No. Yes. I mean so. Commandament?
Start the game already!
It is good to be the king.
Hahaha..ha...ha!
Gold, please.
Wood, please.
Food, please.
Stone, please.4 -
RTFM, seriously. I'm assigned to document the git-system even though all it takes is "RTFM" and a link to the official docs. It's even the second time i do this because my last attempt at documentation got lost...2
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Software Developer Interview Questions!
Hey friends, for my IT Careers class I have been assigned to interview a software developer. I was wondering if some people would be willing to answer the following questions. Thank you so much!
Name:
Title of position:
Company you work for:
1. What is a typical day at work like?
2. What are your hours like? Are you ever on call?
3. What are the best parts of your job?
4. Are there any downsides?
5. What influenced your decision to choose this career? Are you glad that you did?
6. What education did you need to get?
7. Do you specialize in certain languages or types of programs?
8. Do you work remotely or at the job site?
9. What is your pay like? Are you paid by the hour, or do you get a salary?
10. Was there ever a specific project you've worked on that was your favorite?
11. Does your job require any work outside of work hours?
12. What are the biggest obstacles you run into as a developer?
13. If you could change something about your job, would you? What would it be?
14. What are some tasks you must complete for your job?
15. Is there anything you wish you knew before starting your career?
16. Are there days that seem too repetitive?
17. Do you often have to learn new languages?
18. Have there been any big changes in your career since you first started?
19. How long have you worked as a developer?
20. Is there any advice you would give to college students looking to pursue a development career?
Any responses are appreciated! Thank you so much!9 -
Rant
Look mom just because I can change a hard drive on a desktop doesn't mean I can figure out why your laptop won't turn on. Also I'm sorry I have no idea how to create super fancy art work in Microsoft outlook2 -
Not a rant!
But I want to know how much do programmer make? (Money wise) and would it be better to be a freelancer or to work for a company? What are some pros and cons for working in a company and for being a freelancer.5 -
Feature request: Able to subscribe to a rant and get notifs without having to leave a comment on it @dfox3
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Can we just decide that we stop using 2 spaces as indents. I really don't have a big preference with tabs versus spaces (especially with modern editors it really doesn't matter that much) but can we please for the love of God stop using 2 spaces! It's ridiculous, it's impossible to read and to understand what goes where, especially with HTML where it's important to grasp the structure of the page. Another annoying thing is when newbies use 2 spaces, since it's visually hard to make out an indent the file usually becomes completely messed up and even harder to read and work with. So can we as devs just come together and wipe 2 space indention from the face of the Earth and decide to newer use them again!7
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Just got added to a few repos of iOS/Android apps that I'll be working on for a new client. All of which only have 2-3 commits and no further history. Guessing the previous dev was using drop box or something, I'm a little concerned.
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What fresh hell is this ??????
I lost my earbuds TWICE within 2 weeks !!!!
I swear I had em last night when I put em in pouch , and now I see only 1 earbud.
|-_-|-_-| FUCK MY LIFE |-_-|-_-|
Rent me an earbud or kill me, PLEASE
It saddens me to think I'll not fulfill my endorphins quota today :(
The only enjoyment I have in my life is gymming to heavy bass, the endorphins keep me alive, everything else in life is shit right now : unhappy job, stress from GRE prep, no gf, staying away from family1 -
Windows is stupid
My desktop is in my room, and consistently every night at around 11 to 12 it wakes up from sleep, consequently waking me up. I did some troubleshooting and apparently it's doing "automatic maintenance"? I couldn't find a way to turn it off.
If any other devs have had this problem, please help, I'm getting sick of this.14 -
Starting college soon.. I'm really hoping I dont get one of those shit teachers that doesnt actually know what they're talking about..3
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Hey guys,
I'm wondering if anyone here has experience with Outlook clients with close to 30 exchange mailboxes.
The software is incredibly unstable and keeps freezing.
I've tried setting the cache period to 1 week to no avail and it's starting to piss off my coworkers...
If anyone has any tips on improving the performance please share them.
Currently running SSD's (850 Evo)
I5-6600 and 8GB of ram.
The bottleneck seems to be the CPU spiking to 80%...
Any help is greatly appreciated.1 -
Thank you, Google!
Stolen from Reddit, but still hilarious 😁
Credit: https://reddit.com/r/google/...
1 -
Python..... please cast my integers and such to string for me. I don't want to have to keep typing str().... pretty please?4
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Request :
Please add more Cartoons as it is really fun to see the devRant avatars in action
Please make it happen @dfox and @trogus3 -
Nothing bothers me more than reading code that's written like a school essay instead of just indenting and spacing it out.
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The PO asked if there were a couple of scripts he could run to get counts of specific things in the production database.
after a few days and iterations I'm now getting suggestions from him on how to create and drop temp tables -
It really blows when dev is down and no one replies to my messages. It's as if it being down doesn't affect them because they're not doing work or something.3
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So, I was talking to my dog and he said that I should go out and make some friends.. Jokes on him cause he's the one sitting locked up in my pc...
Haha..
Please say 'hi' the comments3 -
Can anyone suggest me some repo or blog link that has good code structure of node apis.
Something that can be use in big project. -
Figured I’d just apply for a job in Munich (i’m belgian), didn’t think anything would come of it and now they want a skype interview with me and i have absolutely no clue of what to expect from skype interviews5
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write simple working code with some duplicated code (less than 10 lines) and have compile time safety , NAH
write more complicated code you have to spend time fixing thanks to PR feedback -
Please.....
Don't troubleshoot over my shoulder.
Don't point at the screen over my shoulder.
Don't suggest the troubleshooting step I'm currently on, while pointing at the screen and whispering over my shoulder.
Don't think out loud as you are troubleshooting over my shoulder.
Please....2 -
Can some1 please do something about email
A "modify/edit" functionality is helpful
Why doesn't it have it already8 -
We really out here still talking about the fucking weather as a conversation starter? This shit is painful.9
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You're all programmers, right? How do I get my Grandpa's ASUS (Intel Pentium, Windows 10) to run faster? Please please he asked me to help.4
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When will there be Haskell, Erlang or APL shirts?
I wanna have one with a cool language as my profile pic1 -
A bit dishearted here!
I was working on an app idea and building its admin panel in angular, node and firebase for database.
I was at the end of developing admin panel and the only thing remaining was data storage for images.
I thought Firebase Storage is solution for that but now after 2 days of endless searching I realize Firebase Storage is a joke and its just Google Cloud Storage which is not Free :/
I am a student and a passionate Android developer. But this is a huge hurdle in my way.
If anyone has a better idea of how to get this done then please help.
I just need free file hosting to upload images from my admin panel and then download from Android app.3 -
This is not a rant, but I've searched this for some time now and can't seem to find it so maybe any of you will be able to help me.
A good few years ago, when I was still a 4-5yo I had a Win95/98 (I don't remember which). We used to have this CD that had a bunch of games, like Chucky Egg or Mahjong, or a xmas-related one (where you could bake cookies, serve drinks - there was a red and a yellow one - and more I don't remember), one with a (purple?) dragon (in a dungeon, that was played in levels, but every run was randomly generated, I think), and many more.
The CD was white with black text, and had a yellow-ish/orange-ish grinning face, that looked like a man's, with a few hairs, that was drawn simply, nothing too complex. I also know there was this one game that made the computer/game freeze, and that was in a blue palette?
I played the crap out of that CD with my mom, and she used to play the dragon one for me (until she found out Mahjong), but it all ended when it broke inside the tower and we had it replaced by the WinXP tower we currently have at home (and that's in pieces because me and my brother disassembled it).
I know it's not much, but does any of you remember anything like what I just wrote? It should be from around the 2000s and probably from a gaming magazine.5 -
What must be the proper steps to work on a project or on a side project and finish it without losing interest ✌🏻️5
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Please unity devs...
If your going to use visual studio for code development, please change to visual studio code. Idk why but it slightly annoys me. If anyone can explain why visual studio would be better please do.3 -
Hey guys, I want the t-shirt of hactoberfest, please if anyone of you have anything for me to contribute in your repositories, let me know.
Even if it's a small typo, I'm in.24 -
Could one of you please make an iMessage app with stickers of all the common rage face comic images from Reddit?
Please, and thank you.2 -
!rant Hi, I have a question. I want to change my CPU, from a socket AM1 to AM3 to make my PC faster, it is the first time I upgrade it. I want to know if it is necessary to reinstall the OS. I have search in the Internet and it says you need to reinstall if it is windows because of the drivers. My OS is ArchLinux and I didn't need to install any driver when I first install it, do I really need to reinstall?4
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That feeling when you accept a simple project and when you almost done the client requirements escalate quickly. *crying*
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What languages and tools do I need to build an android app similar to devRant(same functionality)? Please help. Badly need advice for my next project.
@dfox @trogus1 -
Some people please help with the ux on flip, it does not work and causes problems, what are your suggestions, or plans?
4
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