manager: we need to design an admin system for a veterinary centre

dev: ok, this is it, remember your training

class Dog extends Animal {}

As a child:
Look Ma, no training wheels!

As an adult:
Look Ma, no mouse!

Training till last breath...

Shortest Android dev training course, 7 taps! I am now android development, yes? 😂

Just found out my wife is pregnant!! So excited! What should our little one's first programming language be? What age should they start learning??

Joy!!

I'm logging my DevRant time as training ... I read all these dumb things that people do, and make mental notes so that I don't do the same thing. Best. Training. Ever.

Guess the training accuracy

I self-training on PHP, Ruby, Python, C# during 1 year without knowledge in programming. Now I finally find a job as professionnal web developper, without degree !

Girl I met asked what I do for fun outside of work and training. Brain threw nullreference exception.

Alright..
fuck'em all !!

They just throw around big words like 'machine learning', 'neural networks', etc like they're supposed to impress people ..

Do something worthwhile then blabber ..

training.. training.. training.. waiting while training for hours with little thought is not working.. !!

They should focus more on developing stuff that takes less time .. !! and think about what they're doing .. !!

Microsoft creates a new chat bot:
Day 1
User : hi
Chatbot: hello, how's yours day? 😁

One month later:
User: hi
Chatbot: fuck off your piece of shit.😡

Here I am, 'Junior' in my title and on my paycheck, training my 'Senior' colleague on the concept of variable types.

I JUST GOT THE JOB OFFER!!! They are paying me well and with full benefits and they are going to pay for extended training on top of that!!

This internship was one of my better decisions! :)

watching my model training...

I kid you not, this was in some of our official corporate training.

Unfortunately, this often is how our business area "functions"

Every time I do a Google's reCAPTCHA, I feel like I'm training the Google's self driving cars AI

Corporate: Phishing Emails are serious. We need you guys to take this awareness training. Please report if you get any suspicious email.

*Sends the awareness training in a format that screams Phishing

Everybody: Wait... is this a test?

The best prank I ever pulled was on one of my IT teachers.
In 2011, I had an intense OOP JS training and whil ...[read more]

Person: I see you're training your neural net. How's it doing?
Me: Well...

Ok... gotta get this off my chest...

I was tasked to train a junior developer recently. Manager says he's (skill) is rusty, but has potential.

I thought to myself... "Rusty? I can deal with that... how bad can it be?"

He ran into some issues while going through the training material, and asked me for help. It was a simple task of printing something to the screen...

After glancing at his code, I said you have to make it (variable) a string. He LITERALLY types s-t-r-i-n-g...

Me: 😵💫

I hate my job. I am furious at my colleagues.

Last November I asked my colleagues (A and B) to help me learn to use something, let's call it Tool. They said okay and set a date for training. Next week they said that they had too much work to do so we'll​ have to postpone. And the next date was also postponed and the next one too, and so on.

Three months in,​ colleague C kept dicking around and being a complete jackass telling me that he refused to work with me for I don't use the Tool.
Not like I didn't want to learn to use the Tool, I simply couldn't. I have long before googled how to use the Tool but in no way can Google ever tell me about our own company workflow, our methods, habits and such.

I was furious, but I am also a the most fucking patient person ever so I let it slide. The Tool wasn't actually needed that much to do my job anyways. And I have known for a while that colleague C needed to push someone under him to feel good about himself.

A few more dates had been set but got cancelled for reasons.
Meanwhile both A and B started to look down on me for not knowing how to use the Tool. I started to feel depressed.

Today B held a "workshop" about the Tool. It took two hours. He was not prepared, had a hangover and generally had a hard time concentrating.
He used aliases that he set up only for himself to show the usage of the Tool instead of commands that a beginner would understand (or google). He kept mumbling and I hsd trouble understanding him. His lecture lacked direction and was all over the place.

I am devastated and furious. I had been waiting since November for this training and when the time actually came he pulled something out of his ass and called it a workshop.

I didn't even get answers for my questions.

Now I feel that I am actually in a worse position than before because while I still cannot use the Tool, they can tell me that there was a workshop and I should've paid closer attention.

I want to quit so bad.

When your boss schedules you for training all week, then asks you why you're in training and gets onto you for not doing your normal tasks... ??? I don't know what I'm doing...!

React Training offering discounts to anyone who isn't a... I'll let you guess.

Just thought it was funny that they'd list all this criteria instead of opting for the easier "As long as you're not a straight white guy"

lots of time for training...

On the job 😊. Told them I could code in the interview... and they believed me.

Now I'm our Director of Technology, and spend at least 8 hours a day building everything from GraphQL APIs to Electron apps. It's been an awesome journey!

Why does it take so loooong!

agile training

I've secured my first software developer job at a large bank in the UK after doing Java Developer training for the last 3 months. I'm so happy!

One of the bigger and more important IT projects this fall. Technical solution proposal needs to be ready by Thursday morning but is far from complete. Solution? The responsible person for this went on a two day mindfulness training. Apparently totally oblivious to the term "sense of urgency". Must be a citizen of procrastiNATION.

!dev
!!politics (kinda)

Here’s a gem from our recent harassment and diversity training at work:

Speaker: “All of these things are protected from discrimination in California! Wow! It’s a huge list, isn’t it? Now let me ask you a question: is a single white male under 40 protected?”

Everyone: *crickets*

Fucking really?
After immediately jumping on all of the other speaker’s questions, you can’t answer this one?

And later, here’s another gem:

Speaker: “If you witness an employee harassing another employee outside of work and work hours, completely unrelated to work, should you report it? What if you ask the person being harassed and she says no?”

Speaker: “Always report it! While it’s not *technically* required by law, you must report it! Why? Because you have the same protections she would! And maybe it’s easier for you to say something than for her.” (Surprise gendering was her own addition)

Fair on that last point, but against the person’s wishes? Totally not cool. Maybe it wasn’t harassment, or you don’t know the situation. Heads up: you probably don’t. Or maybe it wasn’t a big deal at all, but you think it’s earth-shattering. But all that reporting it against someone’s wishes does is create drama and possibly legal trouble. And if it wasn’t harassment or the case goes poorly, you just created enemies for yourself, or for one or both of them if you’re reporting it anonymously, and possibly even ruined one or both of their jobs/careers by doing so. Good fucking job, asshole.

Snitches get stitches.

Okay, I never said that.

Does anyone else feel this way? Especially with no formal training?

Ok... Indentation styles.
Usually I'm an advocate for letting people program how they want as long as it's readable, etc.
But I'm training somebody at the moment and had to bite my tongue when they started doing this...

Why does it feel like learning to code requires a building of endurance? Like training for a marathon, you have to build up to bigger and deeper learning sessions. Rewarding and frustrating at the same time.

Starting a new project in a new company. After 4 hours of training and receiving all kinds of new information another collegue passes by and says:

"Hey! So where are you from?"

"I... Don't know..."

Business ppl asks for program to be created.
Business ppl send out 5 one hour meeting invites for the week.
Boss puts me in 5 day training for 7 hours a day.
Business ppl tired of me saying I've had no time to develop their stuff.
Boss asks why I haven't made progress on business ppl program.
Trainer upset I'm doing business ppl program instead of the training.

We can't win.

New guy (good friend) is on the line with me shadowing. OMFG THESE PEOPLE HAVE HEAVY ACCENTS. Only reason I can hear them is my babysitter has a heavy Vietnamese accent as well, so I'm used to it, but HOLY CRUD this is painful. I feel bad for my newest teammate

Sitting in an "Advanced Python" course (paid by my employer), I kicked something under my desk. I hope those guys know Python better than they know electrical security measures...

My new start training at my current place of work.
Learned how to use Linux, terminal, ssh, git, MySQL, how to create basic web apps with Spring, how to write unit tests and UI tests. All in the space of 4 weeks. Best training I have ever been on.

At my previous job we had to complete an online security training exercise. It shows you how to behave secure in the work place, to not open unknown links etc. The scary part was that the entire training thing was BUILT IN FUCKING FLASH. So I'm suppose to listen to some god damn virus shitting flash application on how to do online security?! Get your shit together before teaching others.

For those of your who have been following me, I would like to announce that I have received a perfect score for my bachelor thesis (OnDeviceAI, ie. Training neural networks in mobile phones.

When people don't listen to training and just realize today that they can upload files to our internal system.

Its been this way since 2003 you mother fucking idiots.

Years of mandatory corporate IT security training has taught me not to open this car, its probably a virus.

As a resident of Québec (Canada) who has been training for the Google Code Jam for a while, I was sad to read this while filling my application this morning 😑😔

I just spent 2 hours training a ml5 model with over 200mb of mumble rap lyrics, AMA.

When you're training a new guy who thinks hes better than you and completely overwrites all the code you've been working on because he thinks UX designed it wrong and it should look "correct". Thats not how corporate business works buddy...

I just started training 3 weeks ago,

I have to accomplish some knowledge during the training period or the company won't let me stay, when I told the coworker that is sitting beside me, he told me don't worry, as long as you want this job, we will help you learn everything in order to get what you want.

We just had a security training in my office and a sentence in the PowerPoint slide suggested that we should always update windows. I'll pause here. Also they were using Windows XP screenshots to refer.

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Manager: we need to design an admin system for a veterinary centre

Dev: ok, this is it, remember your training

namespace Vetcentre{
class Dog : Animal {

}
}

#DevDaddy
I'm thinking of training my baby to do that...

A training exercise for people who won't push their code.

Just got invited to an interview as Junior Sys Admin of a hacking training platform. This could be my first job in IT. Woop woop.

Yes, my Python scripts are not remotely pretty. But then, neither was my nonexistent formal training in scientific computing. And no, I will not 'write two lines of comments for every line of code'. Physics major programmer problems.

My busdriver today must have had thorough training in trobleshooting it-systems.. nothing on the bus was working, Doors, card reader, and it baerly moved forward. So trying to solve this problem he stoped at every busstop, turned the engine off and by this powered off all systems. Felt like the Classic solution people tell others, "have you tried turning it off and then on". So all other passengers were pissed because the bus was running late, and I felt kind of sorry for him..

The devs I work with. One more so than the other, but seeing as this is my first dev job, and I have no formal training, they've been my mentors. Yeah, we disagree and argue - but they're bloody good quality, and I'm very lucky to be learning from them.

Best: training absolute newbies

Worst : training absolute newbies

Cant decide whether to talk about how TeamViewer banned me because they think me helping my girlfriend all the time was commercial use,

or when she saw my porn while abusing my computer's GPU for training her model

Sometimes I wonder why my company has a helpdesk for our customers when the help desk doesn't even know how to use the product we sell. I spend more time supporting our helpdesk than I do programming.

Nothing like taking a company IT security training that requires Flash.

The first step to be able to run the training?
Override your browser's security setting to allow Flash to be able to run.

Anyone else see the irony here?

Taking a for-giggles training on reverse engineering... It's theory. Basic level theory. Posted 6 months ago.

"someone might want to reverse engineer Microsoft Word in order to change its code so that it could be run on a Mac."

Are we ignoring how old Word has had Mac support????

Or "To prevent circumvention, some programs require as part of the terms of use that you do not attempt to reverse engineer their code." like this will stop someone who wants to circumvent having to pay from acting illegally, because we all totally read EULAs and T&Cs...

Whyyyyyy

When I started on the job I was placed underneath a senior employee.
Never got as much training as I wanted to.
Bc less then a week later they messaged in the group chat they were quiting.

how i started training myself with Up/Down/Left/Right arrows in mid 90's.

(tl;dr) Protip: never take internship/training/job offers from startups.

Fucking piece of shit startups hiring innocent interns from University, hoping that they are full stack developers to build their shit website.
"I will throw challenges at you".

You fucking scum, I need a proper mentor to teach me something which is not my fucking domain. You expect me to know nodejs and reactjs, and if I don't know that means there's something wrong with my learning process?!!

I'm looking for an internship which basically means that I get company exposure to proper training unlike being your fucking slave, you uncultured swine.

Seriously, recruiters, these days jack off to google buzzwords.

Training Google's "efficient" net b7 be like epoch 1: ETA 6 hours
I come back in the afternoon and see this:

Video training. Forgot to pay attention, rewind.... again.

A friend of mine just told me his job made his company start "Lean Six Sixma" training which is basically a massive scheme that makes you get a karate belt in common sense that you apparently don't have.

Suprise, my first ocr neural net got 96% accurate on the first 20000 step training run wooo

I have started my first job as a web developer since February 1st. During the one month training period which is in progress, one of the training sessions was on Git and believe me Git is the most fascinating thing came to know me since I have joined computer science field. In love with it.

What do you call a group of variables that go to a gym? - A training set!!

THE CODE USED IN MY MANDATORY ONLINE TRAINING ABOUT CYBER SECURITY AND STUFF LIKE THIS:

<script>window.showQuestion(someOverlyVerboseResponseFromTheServerWithTheCorrectAnswersMarked);
</script>

Oh boi it would be a real shame if someone proxied your precious function :)

In training and the other dev is pointing out active bugs to the client

Was using six years old laptop with first gen Intel core i3 to train a neural net, placed the laptop on soft bed, training begins, thermal shutdown after 30-40 iterations(30 minutes).F***.
Now starting again :'|

Fuck deadlines... Here is a mandatory training that is more important even tho it is irrelevant to your role

!rant
I just woke up a minute before one of my first neural networks finished training

!!rant
My laptops dual core cpu with 4 threads is slooooooooow

Training model for 3 days now. Turns out there is a hidden
minor-bug causing a major bias on output. The result is actually within a error margin. But this is so unnecessary. Should i start over?

Mom: How do you change my Outlook settings so fast?
Me: Years of training...

Selected to be a part of the GitHub Campus Expert Training Program.

Boss: pst pst training is paid for if you want to skill up
Me: !!!

It's hard training fresh grads at work when their minds are already full of themselves. Code written for production is always different from those written for projects.

Just me chilling and TRAINing

omg I'm so funny

Made the mistake of training my ML model in VirtualBox... Over 18 hours so far, and loss < 1 is nowhere near stable.

Just started my exams training! (Doing a study called Application Development).

The application doesn't sound that complicated but I have to implement a data exporting feature. Sounds alright, doesn't it?

THE 'CLIENT' DOES NOT KNOW WHAT DATA FORMAT THE FICTIVE CUSTOMERS CAN PARSE/HANDLE BUT I HAVE TO MAKE IT GENERIC SO THAT THEY CAN USE IT ANYWAYS. HOW THE FUCKING FUCK AM I SUPPOSED TO KNOW WHAT FUCKING FORMAT I SHOULD CHOOSE?!? SHOULD I TRY TO SMELL IT OR SOMETHING?

FML.

Which online trainings or certifications are you willing to pay money for? I'm just trying to get rid of the budget they gave me for training because I can't convert it to cash.

Was supposed to start my exams training today (Application Development study). At the daily scrum, I told the scrum master (teacher) that I heard (I did hear that tho btw) that the training only starts next week so 'if I could work on my framework to get it ready for the training'. I know I'm supposed to start today with my project but I rather finish my framework really.

He fucking said YES.

So this will be a happy week of framework programming :D

I fucking hate hr trainings. What a waste of time.

Let me do my job. If you are sending me to training, at least make it relative to my field.

I try to exercise a lot of patience when training other devs. Hell, I have always asked stupid questions and will continue to do so. But yesterday I almost reached my breaking point when the guy I was training (who is not young nor entry level) asked me where the CSS files were for a static HTML page. I had to awkwardly say, "they're located at the path being linked to in the head" 😣

Had a new co-worker I was responsible for training. I am several years his junior, but he is working with a new language/framework I'm fluent in. Day 4 into training, he walks into my cubicle, sidles up next to me, I look up at him, he farts loudly, then (without seeming to realize what he's done) he proceeds to launch into a long-winded question about coding best practices.

If this were an isolated incident, I'd have written it off, but the dude did it again when he came to my desk and asked me to open a jar of pickles for him, and many times over during casual conversation.

*Completes unit testing training*
*Achieves fresh perspective*
*Looks at game code*
*Prepares to right unit tests for that problem method*
*Stares at code as crickets chirp*

Three days into my job and the client is asking when we can start my project... Supposed to have two weeks training, and I don't even think that's enough to learn Hybris, so instead of being an angry rant I'm just gonna sit here and be a sad one :(

I can already feel the incoming shame. Shame. Shame...

Well, fuck.
Currently I feel like the personification of the term "thrown into cold water"
After I finished my bachelors degree, I started working on first of april. The first full-time job I had. Therefore I had some training in the first 2 weeks and after that I joined a project after easter. Fast forward two sprints:
Currently I am the only dev in that project, tomorrow is sprint review with the clients and I have to present like 5 tickets of the 10 planned for this sprint. Of my 8 working hours a day, 4 are planned for my self-training and 4 for tickets. Actually its more like 6 for training/reading/understanding the code, because its mostly a whole CRM I am supposed to develop... PM said another dev will join the project in one or two weeks. I hope the client didn't slay me till then..

It’s great how HR tells you to report to work on your first day to your line manager, but also tells you to attend training in another country before you start working, BUT they don’t tell you when the training is, how stuff will be paid for, or how to contact anyone in the company to find this info out

I have to make a big decision about my future as a developer...
(Long rant)

I am currently in an apprenticeship as a dev.
The thing is i was forced to do testautomatization.

I was there for half a year and had a good time.
But now my trainer (the guy who assigned me all the work and showed me all the stuff I learned) has been fired.

And now it sucks... they don't teach me new things anymore and don't give me time to catch up with the new technologies.
(This was different in the past!)

I was forced to do manual testing for the past few week.
Therefor i am working with a friend and his trainer.

One day i was talking to my friend about how things have changed in the testing-team.

His trainer was listening (we did not know) and sayed: If you want i can ask my boss if it is possible that i can teach you as well.

Now the point is i woud love to work with him. I love the work they do!! (Java; don't hate me)

But it will make the testing guys mad and I dont know how HR will react.

I am pretty sure it will reduce my chances of getting a job (at this company) if I change the team...

Should I talk to HR or not? What do you think?

Thanks for reading and sorry for my english bugs.

Just got picked in a national “lottery” for mandatory military training for a year. And I moved to another city more than half a year before, got a very good job. Fml. Europe at that

Got my first task today while still being under training (large worldwide corporation - OMS department) and I'm practically drowning! Oh you wonderful devs give me strength!

Feeling like a stupid shithead bc all the new hires are smarter and get thru the training wayyy faster than I do. Spending hours after work to catch up, will this get any better????

Corporate Training: to lock your screen press ctrl+alt+delete and select lock screen.

Non-Dev: need to lock screen, ctrl+alt+delete... It's not responding... Ctrl+alt+delete.... Wait why did my computer reboot.... NOOOOOOOO... MY WORK

Me, Dev: uhm I just used Win+L...

Just received a Jira request to remove training videos from the business ethics page or our employee intranet because we longer hold the license's.

HaHa

love when I've worked 7 months getting this project in order and a lead is placed on top of me that knows nothing.. and I have to spend most my day training/fixing their shit

i7, 8GB RAM with 2GB nvidia graphics couldn't handle the training of neural net on a google text corpus! -.-"
I'm just watching it train, nothing to do! oh but wait,I can rant! 😃😃

Model without conv2:
"I'm gonna be poor and miserable and barely give you .96 acc after much training."

Model with conv2:
"Ahoi! Look at me score .95 in the first epoch!"

😤

Well, this one is easy. It gotta be this year, as a finally finished my 2 years training as a software developer in July and I'm still working for the company that trained me.

Just as context, in Germany you have to train for a job for 2-3 years before you can actually start working in the field. During this training, you're essentially working at a company, get (reduced) pay and go to school every now and then. The training ends with a final exam, after which I could finally call myself a software developer. :-)

AI is never going to write code efficient like Humans do.

The whole AI, neural network bullshit is overrated.

Training a Network to recognize Images or playing Super Mario is far away from writing code.

I've just learnt more in a 5 minute laracasts video than half a days training on pluralsight

So we've had a new guy on our team for over 6 months now... Been training him up doing shadowing.... Training courses... Study time... The works...

He didn't have the specific skills for our team but had 2 degrees, lectured at uni... Seems VERY smart......

Yet he still has barely grasped the basics..... When experienced people talk about challenges they've had he tries to suggest what they do... Constantly raising 'problems' with ways of working but offers no solutions and never collaborates on how we can fix it......

He avoids doing practical learning and thinks he can learn the job from reading docs... .. Sigh....

Gone almost as far as doing daily check ups on what he's actually doing to make sure he's progressing..... Tough one to crack!

I work as a full stack developer for an MNC and saw this in our company's "training portal"..

People who went to a weekend training course and now believe they are Gods of "the cloud" and "web scale" and "devops".

Went to work pretty excited this morning, and found out that my neural network that has been training all weekend was still dumb as fuck...

No need to fear artificial intelligence (at least not mine)

Our boss has organized a personal trainer so he makes workouts with us every Thursday in the working place. Then you realize how much you are sitting in front of the computer. Just awesome.

"So what we're going to do is sign you up for this basic training we think you need despite your years of proven experience and certifications and a four year degree directly related to the type of training don't count"

Training a developer... After one year, he still doesn't understand "Update-Database"

Create a powershell command and just tell him to click on it after every git pull

I know that you two guys don't get together well. Shall we(the management team) send you guys for some team bonding training sessions? Whatttt?? 🙄🙄🙄

Disappointment is when you're interested in learning about something but neither Lynda.com nor Tuts+ have any training so you have to buy the book and read :-(

In the middle of 2 critical bug fixes and your boss 'volunteers' you for a meaningless 4 hour training session.....WTF????

!school rant!

I have offically lost my entire faith, doesn't matter in what, point is that all of it.

We are literally learning about control panel and stuff... Basically the whole class is laughing, this teacher is bad shit crazy.

An open source, psychology based job placement and training platform. Free for anyone that wants to put the work in, and for those who want to gain teaching experience. To ultimately put colleges and technical schools out of business.

Starting dev job with .NET (various stack levels I think) in a couple months, beginning with a paid intro course. Any tips for stuff I should look out for, awesome training tools etc? Background: java, some js, some Python.

Was training a model for an hour on paid GPU after which it showed a deprecation error and crashed my Jupyter notebook.

Just got home from training, girlfriend is out for the evening, no other dues; perfect time to play some games.

...aaaaaand they're doing maintenance on the cables for another hour 😶

Bruce the code/training buddy repping the devRant stickers

Design your system that it doesn't need user training at all. Make it obvious.

Remember your training, grasshopper... 😎

Nothing feels more dead than ur shitty windows Lap going updating mode in a training session surrounded by whole lot of mac users....!

Yeah mothaf**** I can hear u laughing behind me.!

Just thought I'd mention that there are some assets and training material for cryengine available on humble bundle right now for those of you who are into game dev

Quick question:
Anyone here has any apps that they want to get tested for vulnerabilities and stuff?
I am training for job in it-security field but it's hard to find a starting point for testing a real app/site/whatever
So I would like to test some stuff you guys make, just for fun

I want to Learn c# i am not beginner I am more like intermediate do anyone have a good training that I can do?

!rant just a question. Sorry in advance for the long post.

I've been working in IT in Windows infrastructure and networking side of things for my entire career (5years) and recently was hired for a role working with AWS.

We use Macs and we use *nix distros for days. I've only ever dabbled for 'funsies' before with Linux because every previous job I held was a Windows house and f*** all else.

I'm just wondering if anyone here might have some insights as to a great way to learn the Linux environment and to learn it the right way. I'm not the best Windows admin ever and will never claim to be, but I have seen stuff that other people have done that makes me want to swing a brick at someone's head. And I feel that with all of the setup wizards and the "We'll just do it for you." approach that Windows has used since forever it allowed enough wiggle room for people that didn't know what they were doing to f*** sh*t up royally. I'm not familiar enough with Linux to know if this is also a common problem. I know that having literal full-access to every file in your OS can cause a n00b like myself to mess up royal, thus the question about learning Linux the right way.

I vaguely understand the organization of the folders and file structure within Linux, and I know some very basic commands.

sudo rm -rf /*
Just kidding

But All of my co-workers at my new job are like mighty oaks of knowledge while I'm a tiny sapling. And at times I've been intimidated by how little I know, but equally motivated to try and play catch-up.

In addition to all of this, I really want to start learning how to program. I've tried learning multiple times from places like codecademy.com, YouTube tutorials, and codeschool.com but I feel like I'm missing the lesson that explains why to use a certain operation instead of another. Example: if/else in lieu of a switch.

I'm also failing to get the concept of syntax in certain languages I've tried before. Java comes to mind real fast.

The first language I tried teaching myself was C++ from YouTube. I ended up having a fever dream that night about coding and woke up in a cold sweat. Literally, like brain overload or something. I was watching tutorials for like 9 hours straight.

Does anyone know of a training resource that will explain, in terms a 5 year old would understand, what the code is doing and why? I really want to learn but I'm starting to lose steam cause I'm just not getting it.

Thank you in advance for any tips guys and gals. I really appreciate it. Sorry for the ridiculously long questions.

I am in the process of rewriting BecomeRanter, and have built a much better training process..

Who wants to be used as training data?

I will train the neural network on you, then send you some of the output..

An example of an earlier version of this project can he found at: @windowsss

Started doing deep learning.
Me: I guess the training will take 3 days to get about 60% accuracy
Electricity: I dont think so! *Power cut every day lately
My dataset: I dont think so! *Running training only achieve 30% of learning accuracy and 19% of validation accuracy

Project submission: next week
😑😑😑

I applied for an unknown job.

Email: you'll be taking Junior Developer

Interviewer: We need fullstack developer with a salary of $100 for two months of training and $450 if you have great accomplishments

We're having a training session on how to speak with clients because we're getting feedback that we seen annoyed in our emails.

Probably my fault, not that I mean for that to bleed through into my replies

manager: i heard that bitcoins' price just dropped. can you teach me how to trade bitcoins?

*apparently he saw me taking the blockchain trainings provided by the company. told him i only know they work but not trading. i feel like he's so disappointed

Things I learned in this 2 month training in an IT company ;
- the way @marcerisson wanted me and my group project team to use Git (and kept yelling at us about ) is actually the proper, professional way of using Git
- there is a difference between an MVC model and a fucking pack of overcomplicated spaghetti code
- commenting your code and naming your variables properly IS IMPORTANT especially when another dev might read it 15 years later (i see you Mr I Name All my Variables With the Name Of the Function and A Number)
- « if it worls it ain’t stupid » also apply in a professional area
- where ´s my fucking rubber duck

Girl I haven't talked to in a long while starts messaging me about learning code

Lately nothing compares to the excitement and happiness of executing my first successful buffer overflow.

These fuckin morons piss on the toilet seats. They should get potty training also. Chutiye Saale!

getting paid for training session over a piece of software, preparing material for workshops, stressing out about crazy questions.
training day : one person shows up, not one single word, evaluation signed, go home with check.
I LOVE MY JOB.

Anyone else out there got any QlikView Certs? Got mine this summer for a summer job. they paid for the training and everything.

If you think some developers are a dumb.... you've never met support...

They need "training" to use systems they should already know...

I didn't know the system much either but just by looking at the screen and trying a few simple options, I figured it out...

I need a new word, and maybe job, what is dumber is than a monkey?

So I've finally implemented face detection in my discord bot.

@Wisecrack regarding the openCV training, I'm still taking positive and negative samples, so it'll be another while.

Also, why is post @ing not a thing

Am I the only one excited for the RTX 3000 series not because of gaming, but because of all those sweet, fast CUDA cores? Never mind framerates, that should make training those models way faster.

A trip to London on the company sounded like a great idea... Until about 3:30 this morning.

Hey you were not here yesterday so we assigned you to do this job that requires this training and is really fun and good for your experience

Says the coworker that was supposed to do it but does not want to do it because he thinks the work takes too much time and doesn't think the training is usefull.

Sorry what???

I hate when I have to take these shitty training modules when my company starts fucking a new vender.

#NotRant - Stoked on getting Nginx micro-services training. should be really cool.

I can't help but smirk when my company gets a project that requires knowledge on something I warned them about over half a year ago. This happens regularly but every time we have to get that knowledge during the project, costing the customer additional money.

When will management learn that training your employees will benefit them :(

Gotta stop providing better code solutions to crap that's not my business, roped into so much crap and now I have to put all these bad code fixes into some intern training scenarios or something​...fml

Taking required compliance training on preventing bribery and money laundering...

Me: we need to manually prevent it? How well has that worked in the past.... And you know with Russia...

Any devs out here who are into martial arts training ?

It's been a month since I joined kickboxing classes. However , I have never met a fellow dev who is into martial arts. What about you guys ?

Ethics: mandatory ethics training

So I was attending a Scrum Master training recently. During the introduction, the coach is making sure everyone understands why are they even on this training and stresses out that for a company to be able to actually become agile and survive the transition, people of different levels and roles/responsibilities should get familiar with Scrum, not only IT/developers.

Coach: I can see we have developers, testers and people from operations in the room, good. Too bad there's noone from the actual business. Anyway, who decided that you should come to a Scrum training and become certified?
Group: Well, the business..

#ironic

Building up a simple AI with a neuronal layer. Trained him to do XORs with a large set.
Training set done, trying out if he learnt :
Print result : 0.6...

Client: I'm not able to see the mount storage
Me: share your configuration
Client: 📃

Me: (frustrated but still kind and polite) I see the ports are swapped between hosts which is the culprit behind the issue.
Me: can I ask the reason behind doing this?

Client: I thought red color goes left and aqua goes right.
Me: 🦍 🤐🤐

Has anyone here heard of codewars? It's a website I've been using it for the past few years to train myself for programming competitions. I highly recommend taking on the challenge of one problem per day.

Just signed my training contract 🎉Quitting university to become a programmer within 18 Months apprenticeship

Developer-in-training at OSU, worried about being able to find a job. Contributing to an open-source project right now to try to hone my skills. Any advice from the more experienced?

Taking mandatory corporate compliance training that says what things I am not allowed to do...

BUT it's actually quite interesting because I never knew you could do these and well it's starting to give me ideas....

Best: Hiring and Training Interns
Worst: Working for a neurotic client who later cancelled project.

Almost out of highschool, looking at the requirements for programming jobs is terrifying. I can't afford college but almost every job needs a bachelor's. Hoping for a company that sees the value of training from the base level

So after waiting 3 days for an ID to get into a computer, I'm now told it's going to take 12-14 hours before I can do online security training just so I can actually start working. I'm only at this job for a month and I'm not going to even touch any real work at this rate...

Oh well, at least I'm paid by the hour, not by the amount of work

WORDPRESSS DEVELOPERS:

What’s your #1 tip for getting started in this role? Useful training site or video? What’s best to focus on first? Hooks? I need all the juicy deets! 🙌🏻

Here are my goals
-Don’t wait until last moment to resolve issues
-Be a good developer and training interns so that they will have something to take away
-Learn more stuff

When you got to work early because of training; only to find out it was moved to start after three hours with organizer announcing that there was "error from our side"

Me:🖕🖕

Not training properly in the first 7 years of my programming career, which is theselast 7 years 😓

As a result, I have to re-do a big part of my work because I don't trust my older self around computers.

IVE BEEN TRAINING THE SAME KERAS MODEL FOR THE PAST WEEK

KILL ME NOW

If I ever want to phish people at an enterprise I would send the email as the yearly infosec training course.

Just heard a QA member say whilst training a starter:
'We are going to do some hacking now'

He just changes a URL argument.

I just finished my 3-year long training, and can now officially call myself a software developer!

I'm more of a computer person (obviously, that's why I'm here), but I'm super proud of myself that I was able to replace a belt in my car!

Next comes the brakes, but that one can wait a week or so...

When they change the ethics,health&safety,anti corruption etc. online courses so that the next links are disabled until the audio is completed.

Mandatory training ... Coarse introduction video crashes 20 secs before end, can only proceed with the coarse by finishing the introduction video ... 🤦‍♂️🙈🤷‍♂️

When "staff training" at the company you work for is just assigning someone with zero experience or education to you in the hope they gain knowledge via the little-known method of osmosis.

Assigned mandatory online training... Finally got some time to do it from my busy week fixing a prod issue... But the training website is completely broken....

Just another reminder of why things always blow up around here

Worst part about my job is training junior devs with their supervisor insisting them to write unit tests without prior programming experience

Last week I had two days training about how to code modern with the language I use.
Now I wanna refactor every single line of code I ever wrote :D

Anyone know of any good reference material that teaches you how to implement and train your own Yolo object localization neural network? (Preferably for tensorflow) I'm not looking for pretrained models that you just downloaded and run, rather a tutorial that walks you step by step through the implementation of the network, the reasoning behind the architecture, and examples of the training data used for the training as well as the process of training?

I know it's a lot to ask but it's really frustrating when ever example is just "clone this repo, hit run and use the pretrained models" sure it might get you up and running quickly but it doesn't really teach you anything...

P.s. - seems like every educational post goes from super simple to super complex without any middle ground and the super complex stuff doesn't tell you why its used the way way it is.

when the management team wants a new application with an insane deadline and for you to train someone on how to code.

When I, a front end developer, have to work with backend, and to integrate everything with front end with zero help and even less training in that specific area. And oh, its php!!

nginx microservices training through work?? fuck yea!

Does anyone know of a good place for coding challenges? I want to keep practicing my coding, but I'm terrible at coming up with projects.

My Brain:

It's Monday and I've already had a tiring morning... don't feel like doing anything else....

I KNOW!!!! I received an email last week about some mandatory training that needs to be completed... time to do it now!

Yep, I'm not being lazy or procrastinating...

I'm such a big dumbass causing a bad second-impression in my new job: missed the standup because I'm a retard at reading how Outlook shows you the time of a meeting when you accept it, the time shown is the time of the inviter not your local time! And that day-1 training? Had to be completed by yesterday. Had to message the higher up I knew and was available, own my shit and apologize. Received a call from the outsourcing company's boss as he got notify from HR of my faux pas with the training.

I need to do better...

Video 147 of god knows how many. I hate video based training. I wish my company wasn’t so cheap when it comes to training.

Bring Word Art into the 21st century. Most of early computer training hinged on the use of Word Art.

Ms access, or rather the systems developed using this tech.

Unfortunately I worked with it a lot in the past fixing applications made by non-developers. Usually someone who went on a ms office training course then when they leave the company the database breaks and no one has a clue how to fix it.

what have i got myself into???? full stack development for my internship without previous and complete knowledge of it... i guess i have 2 months to do intensive training and practice to prepare myself AAAAaaaaaAaaa

I provide training for our clients on our company CMS after having built them their sites.

I once had 3 ladies could me in for their FREE training session who were incredibly rude. They I territories me mid sentence to talk about unrelated stuff, spoke over me, were clearly uninterested in learning the system, and devolved the meeting into their own board meeting.

I didn't know how to deal with such rudeness without being rude back long story short they left having learned nothing, too dumb to work the system out themselves and I find ways to be unhelpful each time they ring up to ask for support they haven't paid for...

I'm following a training,
$ drush cr
and this week,
$ drush cr
we're learning
$ drush cr
programming modules in Drupal8.
$ drush cr

The training courses I am currently writing for work. I just love learning stuff, and sharing that knowledge. It's a lot of work though.

It's actually really strange. I am a real introvert, and hate every human, but I love to stand in front of a dozen people and train them...

Love going to out-of-state programming courses on the company dollar!! Went to Germany, Denver, and Rochester, NY for Codesys training. Hate PLC programming but it's fun traveling and learning new things.

Waiting 3 days for your graphics card to get trough all training data to see if you wasted your life with bad architecture.