A computer is a stupid machine with the ability to do incredibly smart things, while computer programmers are smart people with the ability to do incredibly stupid things.

Hate to admit it but: I went back to Windows on my dev machine after running Linux as main OS for like 10 years. I came to the point where I'm tired of driver problems and broken bootloaders and just want things to work...

Start a development job.
Boss: "let's start you off with something very easy. There's this third party we need data from. They have an api, just get the data and place it on our messaging bus."
Me: "sure, sounds easy enough"

Third party api turns out to have the most retarded conversation protocol. With us needing a service to receive data on while also having a client to register for the service. With a lot of timed actions like, 'send this message every five minutes' and 'check whether our last message was sent more than 11 minutes ago'.
Due to us needing a service, we also need special permissions through the company firewall. So I have to go around the company to get these permissions, FOR EVERY DATA STREAM WE NEED!

But the worst of it all is... This whole api is SOAP based!!

Also, Hey DevRant!

if I have to explain to you how to change your "host" file you should not have the words "Senior Web Developer" in your frigin email signature.

Rubber ducks are overrated, I got myself an octocat

That awkward moment, when you after several hours of debugging finds the error, types git blame and your own name comes up.

For the love of dog, if I select English on your online store, it doesnt mean I live in the UK, therefore show me prices in £ pounds, It just means I cannot speak German but I need to read English, but pay in € Euros!!! Can people please stop confusing Language with Location!!!!

- Sir, you must put away your laptop before the flight takes off.
- Is a tablet okay?
- Yes
- *Uncouples keyboard from Surface*
- ಠ_ಠ
- (⌐■_■)

"So, why do you want to work at our office in mexico?"
"I want to be a señor developer."

Server down? Hm...

You sitting at your colleagues Windows developer box, tossing some random window around while waiting for a build... and suddenly all 20+ windows get minimized.

Most useless feature ever!

Making a programmer fix your pc is like making a professional painter paint your fence

I had a few interesting ones for my current job. Most of you should of hear it by now, but still a decent brainteasers.

You have 9 pool balls, 1 of which is slightly heavier than the other. You have a balance scale, find the heavier ball. You can only use the scale twice.

Devs, let's not spoil this by actually posting the answer.

Always review guys..

Probably an unpopular opinion here:

I don't use Linux and I genuinely love Windows!

There's two types of people:

if ($foo == $bar) {
// Something...
}

AND

if($foo==$bar)
{
// Something...
}

When someone asks you "how much do you charge to make a mobile app?" But never say what the app does!!

Always happens..😆😆😆

Pokemon Go 🙄 Who all are addicted to this SHIT?

CSS...

(originally from Twitter)

 "Opinions are like assholes. Everybody's got one and everyone thinks everyone else's stinks."

My app does not need tests!

Maintaining some codeho#*'s crappy code be like 🙈

Is it only me who wants to know the tech stack of Devrant! 😃

["hip","hip"]

(hip hip array!)

- Boss server is down
- Can you reboot it?
- Oh well... how can i explain you...

"Error: A record with the name 'testasfasds' already exists."

I really want to tell my team about devrant, but I fear it will impact the sprint velocity

Old but gold ... And it's true actually

Yesterday, I sat down and worked on a project for one hour. I changed a lot of stuff and kept coming up with better ways to do things. After an hour, my file was in the same exact format as the last commit. I closed my laptop and walked away.