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SkillsGo
Joined devRant on 12/19/2016
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My manager is so obsessed with machine learning that during a discussion today, he asked whether we could use ML to find the distance between a pair of latitudes & longitudes. He is a nice guy, though.5
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Android development is such an enormous realm. It's simply incredible.
Even after more than 2 years of programming android apps, I can experience a different exception every day!8 -
Assigned to a new project team..
Using git, in a creative way. So.. "master" is "dev" branch, usually. Everyone can push their branch to dev server .. so it's "dynamic for us". Production branch is whatever, as long as the branch has the release version. Sometimes, the release comes from "master".. that mean "dev" in normal geek..
That's just Git. The source code is a saturated spagetti of Entity framework and Caliburn. It is littered with antipatterns, especially basebean. Holy Christmas and Easter that baseclass do a lot of stuff that has no place as a base class ..
Fucking frameworks, I'm gonna start to evangelize frameworks as the no1 antipattern.
MS SQL as the main DB, but is dumped to json FILES through a scheduled task to increase read performance on web.
There is a soap endpoint to expose the json files, fml..
I am assuming I was placed here to improve stuff, I have never in my life seen anything like this before.
There is a special place in hell for this repository7 -
Boss: I need to demo our product but it looks smaller on my laptop.
Me: That is because you have a 1920x1080 monitor and your laptop is 1280x800
Boss: Is that something you can fix?
Me: No you will need a new laptop, but the company has a sales laptop with that resolution.
Boss: No just get the company credit card and buy me one today!
*Bosses son hears*
Bosses Son: Here take the sales laptop
Boss: Will that be quick enough
Bosses Son: It has a 8 core i7 Processor, 16GB ram and a dedicated GPU
Boss: *looks at me confused*
Me: Your demoing a web browser, that will be more then ok. But were using chrome so 16GB of ram will be pushing it.
*me and bosses son laughs*
Boss: Can we upgrade it?17 -
Nothing scares a developer more than a follow up question from the other person while ordering takeout, after a very precise order.
This is why we build apps, so we don't have to deal with trauma like this! xD5 -
If programmers went on a permanent strike civilized world would be back to 18th century within a month. We need a union.14
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string excuses[]={
"it's not a bug it's a feature",
"it worked on my machine",
"i tested it and it worked",
"its production ready",
"your browser must be caching the old content",
"that error means it was successful",
"the client fucked it up",
"the systems crashed and the code got lost" ,
"this code wont go into the final version",
"It's a compiler issue",
"it's only a minor issue",
"this will take two weeks max",
"my code is flawless must be someone else's mistake",
"it worked a minute ago",
"that was not in the original specification",
"i will fix this",
"I was told to stop working on that when something important came up",
"You must have the wrong version",
"that's way beyond my pay grade",
"that's just an unlucky coincidence",
"i saw the new guy screw around with the systems",
"our servers must've been hacked",
"i wasn't given enough time",
"its the designers fault",
"it probably won't happen again",
"your expectations were unrealistic",
"everything's great on my end",
"that's not my code",
"it's a hardware problem",
"it's a firewall issue",
"it's a character encoding issue",
"a third party API isn't responding",
"that was only supposed to be a placeholder",
"The third party documentation is wrong",
"that was just a temporary fix.",
"We outsourced that months ago.","
"that value is only wrong half of the time.",
"the person responsible for that does not work here anymore",
"That was literally a one in a million error",
"our servers couldn't handle the traffic the app was receiving",
"your machines processors must be too slow",
"your pc is too outdated",
"that is a known issue with the programming language",
"it would take too much time and resources to rebuild from scratch",
"this is historically grown",
"users will hardly notice that",
"i will fix it" };11 -
Worst experience: had a verbal fight with pm because his poor management overworked me ( I was working on the same project till 10pm every day for 4 days with no OT pay)
Best experience: I stepped up against an abusive pm and told him to fuck off to his face.12 -
I am working on a project with a retard.
I am supposed to focus on the mobile apps but the backend guy doesn't know shit about REST.I spend more time teaching him how to serialize data into JSON and telling him not to store passwords as plaintext(He's now using md5 despite me telling him to use bcrypt) than developing the mobile apps am supposed to.
Guess who will be blamed for missing the deadline?
Yea, it's me.
Guess who will get the credits for the backend i am developing?
Yea, it's him.
Fuck!12 -
The university system is fucked.
I've been working in this industry for a few years now, but have been self taught for much longer. I'm only just starting college and I'm already angry.
What does a college degree really mean anymore? From some of the posts I've seen on devRant, it certainly doesn't ensure professional conduct, work ethic, or quality (shout out to the brave souls who deal with the lack of these daily). Companies should hire based on talent, not on a degree. Universities should focus more on real world applications or at least offer such programs for students interested in entering the workforce rather than research positions. A sizable chunk of universities' income (in the U.S. at least) comes from research and corporate sponsorships, and educating students is secondary to that. Nowadays education is treated as a business instead of a tool to create value in the world. That's what I signed up for, anyway - gaining the knowledge to create value in the world. And yet I along with many others feel so restricted, so bogged down with requirements, fees, shitty professors, and shitty university resources. There is so much knowledge out there that can be put to instant practical use - I am constantly shocked at the things left out of my college curriculum (lack of automated tests, version control, inadequate or inaccurate coverage of design patterns and philosophies) - things that are ABSOLUTELY essential to be successful in this career path.
It's wonderful that we eventually find the resources we need, or the motivation to develop essential skills, but it's sad that so many students in university lack proper direction through no fault of their own.
Fuck you, universities, for being so inflexible and consistently failing to serve your basic purpose - one of if not the most important purpose on this earth.
Fuck you, corporations, for hiring and paying based on degree. Fuck you, management, for being so ignorant about the industry you work in.
Fuck you, clients, who treat intelligent people like dirt, make unreasonable demands, pull some really shady shit, and perpetuate a damaging stereotype.
And fuck you to the developer who wrote my company's antipattern-filled, stringy-as-all hell codebase without comments. Just. Fuck you.17 -
*Client calles me at 7Am*
Client: why did you make everything smaller on my website ?
Me: look at the right side of your URL bar, do you see a minus sign ?
Client: yah, so ?
Me: click on it and set it back to default.
Client: oh ok this is working for me now, will this fix apply globally across the internet
Me: ...
Client: oh I think I asked a stupid question, thanks mate have a good day.
Me: you're welcome...17 -
Developers that write commit messages that literally say "Changes", "Fixes", etc. Please act like a professional and write proper messages ffs5
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"Kids, which organization has poorly documented projects?"
"Apache Software Foundation!"
"Kids, which organization has poorly maintained projects?"
"Apache Software Foundation!"
"Kids,Which organization breaks backward compatibility with each release?"
"Apache Software Foundation!"3 -
Haven't slept in the last 72 hours, eaten in 24 and shaved or showered in 48+ .. but it is such a delight to move the project to production an hour before the deadline and two hours later to receive an angry phone call from the client because there is 'horrible bug' in the web system - the logo of his company wasn't showing, only the name ... the moron never sent us a logo to begin with, only a MS word document with the company's information and a compressed 200x80 logo in the bottom ...12
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Got a job offer. Pays more than my current job (~13% increase) and allows me to commute. However, less freedoms. This is weird to me - the job is for a small firm (20 employees), and my current is huge (~25-30k). Now I can work from home when I need it, and flexible hours (aka, get in whenever I feel like it). New job had in contract "No remote working" and "Work hours are 0800-1600".
Think I'm gonna turn em down.. Fuck being locked down like that, honestly.15 -
Yesterday: Senior dev messages out a screenshot of someone using an extension method I wrote (he didn’t know I wrote it)..
SeniorDev: “OMG…that has to be the stupidest thing I ever saw.”
Me: “Stupid? Why?”
SeniorDev: “Why are they having to check the value from the database to see if it’s DBNull and if it is, return null. The database value is already null. So stupid.”
Me: “DBNull is not null, it has a value. When you call the .ToString, it returns an empty string.”
SeniorDev: ”No it doesn’t, it returns null.”
<oh no he didn’t….the smack down begins>
Me: “Really? Are you sure?”
SeniorDev: “Yes! And if the developer bothered to write any unit tests, he would have known.”
Me: “Unit tests? Why do you assume there aren’t any unit tests? Did you look?”
<at this moment, couple other devs take off their head phones and turn around>
SeniorDev:”Well…uh…I just assumed there aren’t because this is an obvious use case. If there was a test, it would have failed.”
Me: “Well, let’s take a look..”
<open up the test project…navigate to the specific use case>
Me: “Yep, there it is. DBNull.Value.ToString does not return a Null value.”
SeniorDev: “Huh? Must be a new feature of C#. Anyway, if the developers wrote their code correctly, they wouldn’t have to use those extension methods. It’s a mess.”
<trying really hard not drop the F-Bomb or two>
Me: “Couple of years ago the DBAs changed the data access standard so any nullable values would always default to null. So no empty strings, zeros, negative values to indicate a non-value. Downside was now the developers couldn’t assume the value returned the expected data type. What they ended up writing was a lot of code to check the value if it was DBNull. Lots of variations of ‘if …’ , ternary operators, some creative lamda expressions, which led to unexpected behavior in the user interface. Developers blamed the DBAs, DBAs blamed the developers. Remember, Tom and DBA-Sam almost got into a fist fight over it.”
SeniorDev: “Oh…yea…but that’s a management problem, not a programming problem.”
Me: “Probably, but since the developers starting using the extension methods, bug tickets related to mis-matched data has nearly disappeared. When was the last time you saw DBA-Sam complain about the developers?”
SeniorDev: “I guess not for a while, but it’s still no excuse.”
Me: “Excuse? Excuse for what?”
<couple of awkward seconds of silence>
SeniorDev: “Hey, did you guys see the video of the guy punching the kangaroo? It’s hilarious…here, check this out.. ”
Pin shoulders the mat…1 2 3….I win.6 -
So I need to create a nice new web app. Let's look at some cool JS frameworks that I can work with.
*5 mins later* Hm, Angular sounds good, is there any good competitor?
*5 mins later* Wow, React sounds awesome as well. Let me learn it.
Google search result:
"Planning to use react? Check out Vue JS first"
*5 mins later* Ok so vue seems faster than React and much easier to learn. Let me see if Vue is the final choice.
Google search result:
"Angular VS Knockout VS Ember VS React VS Mithril VS Mercury VS Ractive VS Vue VS Riot"
Nope, fuck it63 -
Dream project? Create a social network for devs where they can rant. Just need to think of a name.
What do you mean it already exists!?!
😁2
