"warranty void if seal is broken"
Me: "seal isn't broken"

Linux..

Got call from extremely angry customer, our product is shit and doesn't work. At all. Important customer so I went to visit.

He had the perfect setup, our product to the left, our competitor's to the right.

He connected the Ethernet cable to their product, it worked. He plugged it out and connected to ours... Nothing. Shit.

I started to debug on the premises, took logs, everything. It seemed like our product didn't receive any data at all. What the fuck? Tried everything, debugged low level, still nothing. Sweating as hell.

After two hours I got a strange feeling. So I swapped place, our product to the right, competitor's to the left. Now OUR product worked, competitor's zilch.

THE FUCKING ETHERNET CABLE HAD A GLITCH. IF YOU BENT IT TO THE RIGHT IT WORKED, IF YOU BENT IT TO THE LEFT IT WAS BROKEN.

I had never seen a customer be this embarrassed in my life. He apologized to me, my boss, his boss, the Queen, everyone.

We got the contract.

The old logo makes sense now.

Life saver

😯😯😯

How does a DJ delete 'bass' table?

DROP bass

Solving crashes via *big data*

Long but worth it...

So I was cleaning out my Google Drive last night, and deleted some old (2 years and up) files. I also deleted my old work folder, it was for an ISP I worked for over 2 years ago. After deleting the files I had a little twinge of "Man I hope they're not still using those". But seriously, it'd be a pretty big security risk if I was still the owner of those files... right? Surely they copied them and deleted all the info from the originals. IP addresses, Cisco configs, username and passwords for various devices, pretty much everything but customer info.

Guess who I get a call from this morning... "Hi this is Debbie from 'ISP'. I was trying to access the IP Master List and I can't anymore. I was just told to call you and see if there's any way to get access to it again" (Not her real name...)

I had to put her on hold so I could almost die of laughter...

Me: "Sorry about that Debbie, I haven't worked for that company for over 2 years. Your telling me in all that time no one thought to save them locally? No one made a copy? I still had the original documents?!"

Long pause

D: "Uh... Apparently not..."

Another long pause

D: "So is there any way you can give me access to them again?"

Me: "They're gone Debbie. I deleted them all last night."

D: Very worried voice "Can... Can you check?"

This kids is why you never assume you'll always have access to a cloud stored file, make local copies!!

A little bit of background on this company, the owner's wife fired me on trumped up "time card discrepancy" issues so she could hire her freshly graduated business major son. The environment over there was pretty toxic anyway...

I feel bad for "Debbie" and the other staff there, it's going to be a very bad week for them. I also hope it doesn't impact any customers. But... It is funny as hell, especially since I warned the owner as I was clearing out my desk to save copies, and plan on them being gone soon. Apparently he never listened.

This is why you should have a plan in place... And not just wing it...

PS. First Post!

When your girlfriend bathroom is highly active on github

Wow, the new devRant update looks cool

This guy at my last internship. A windows fanboy to the fucking max!

He was saying how he'd never use anything related to Linus Torvalds because he hated him for creating Linux.

Two seconds later I saw him initializing a new git repo.

I was standing there like:

*should I tell him?*

😅😆

I don't get people who rant about missing brackets... Your IDE/Editor will notice it and you're going to notice it. Unless of course you use Notepad.

It's not funny anymore.

Created a function called upDawg and started sprinkling it all over the code base. Waiting to see who catches it in our next code review.

All it does is console logs 'Not much man, you?'

"Telling a programmer there's already a library to do X is like telling a songwriter there's already a song about love." - Pete Cordell

"One of the best programming skills you can have is knowing when to walk away for awhile." - Oscar Godson

"Leap, and grow wings on the way down"

Why did the integer drown?

Because it wouldn't float.

We are in 2017! :)

"So, why do you want to work at our office in mexico?"
"I want to be a señor developer."

> Open google chrome console (F12)
> Press Ctrl + Shift + P (or Cmd + Shift + P)
> Type "dark theme"
> Press enter

Don't thank me, just my duty

Linux distributions.

A recursive bar walks into itself.

Every computer needs a “cleaning keyboard” mode where the keys would be inactive while you wipe them down

And it ran forever

Choose a name.

One day programs will write themselves.

My coffee mug 😎

My email password has been hacked. That's the third time I've had to rename the cat.

512 looks like a more rounded number than 500.