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Best quotes from IT teacher:
- "C# is a language to program your IDE."
- "C# is a language for beginners, and is not really used in production."
- "We won't use Python to learn programming, because Python is a very old, slow and useless language, and is not really used anymore."
- "Yeah, your algorithm is fantastic, but you wrote 'The answer is: ' instead of 'Answer: ', so it's just a B."
- One of my classmates was bored and opened Notepad++, and when the teacher saw it, she said "I have been teaching programming for years, but I've never seen this program, what do you use it for?"
I feel so lucky that I have started learning programming years before at home, I just couldn't start if I had to learn this way.37 -
My school.
We have free WiFi access, but you need to login into your personal student account to use it.
Turns out, SQL Injection works.
It gets worse.
Table name "schueler".
SELECT *
Well.
Got all data on all students.
Name, address, phone number, passwords in plain.
I reported it using an anonymous email. Partially fixed. Standard quotes now get eacaped. Still, passwords are now MD5.47 -
Holy fucking shit. I just went to my first Java class at uni (3 1/2 hour long one at that) and I havent felt so damn irritated in a while.
Some background:
So first, I only had about an hour of sleep last night and a full day of work before this class so I was more cranky than normal.
Theres only 7 students in the class, 6 others plus me. I am the only one with any resemblence of programming experience. The teacher also claims to be a linux developer.
This is a three part course series. Java 1, 2, and 3. All taught by the same teacher.
The fuckery:
-teacher spends 48 minutes talking about text editors. Not even IDEs. Just talking in depth as fuck about notepad (notepad. Not notepad++ )and atom and textpad. Those three only though, nothing on vim or emacs or ACTUAL IDEs. 48 minutes.
- I briefly mentioned learning node.js on the side and am now the "javascript girl" to my teacher. I'm probably less experienced with js than any other thing i ever practised or studied.
-professor saw linux on laptop and asked what distro. When I said arch he said "oh no you shouldnt be using that Its not really for beginners" ... Uhh what makes you think I'm a beginner to linux? Or does he not think I should be using arch while learning java? Either way its really ridiculous and irritates me that he would discourage anyone from using any software/OS/anything, regardless of what it is or skill level.
-teacher moved a bunch of content out of the course because theyre either "concepts that are never implemented anymore" or "arent critical to know to master the language". These particular topics that were removed? Multi-dimensional arrays, scopes, and exception handling. EXCEPTION HANDLING.
-he writes a hello world program and displays it on the board, proof of it working and everything. He tells the class to write the same program, compile and run it. Never did I guess we would spend the remaining hour and ten minutes of class struggling with fucking hello world programs. Especially when the correct code is on the fucking projector.
And I get it guys, everyone starts somewhere. People have to learn from square one. But these kids have no fucking interest in this. One of them literally admitted to pursuing this degree for the "lavish life" that comes with the salary. Others just picked programming because they didnt know what else to choose to get into the school. It fucking saddens me. I hope that one or some of them end up caring and finding a passion in this field, otherwise I feel fucking sorry for them having to spaghetti code their way through life to get a paycheck cause they couldnt be bothered to put in the effort. I feel even more sorry for any devs they work with in the future too.
The other annoying bit is that I can't test out of this class!! so it looks like for either 7 hours a week ill be bored out of my fucking mind with these beginner concepts or ill be helping others fix really stupid shit in their code (like putting quotes around hello world so it would actually print the string).
Fucking hell. Waste of a semester class.44 -
This is one of my favorite quotes when it comes to programming. So many developer are too eager to start coding instead of spending a bit more time on thinking.
11 -
GF: Did you watch a movie while you were sleeping?
ME: (Syntax Error): How could i watch a movie while sleeping?
GF: No, the name of the movie is "while you were sleeping"
ME: oh, you forgot quotes for string17 -
You know what?
Young cocky React devs can suck my old fuckin LAMP and Objective-C balls.
Got a new freelance job and got brought in to triage a React Native iOS/Android app. Lead dev's first comment to me is: "Bro, have you ever used React Native".
To which I had to reply to save my honor publicly, "No, but I have like 8 years with Objective-C and 3 years with Swift, and 3 years with Node, so I maybe I'll still be able help. Sometimes it just helps to have a fresh set of eyes."
"Well, nobody but me can work on this code."
And that, as it turned out was almost true.
After going back and forth with our PM and this dev I finally get his code base.
"Just run "npm install" he says".
Like no fuckin shit junior... lets see if that will actually work.
Node 14... nope whole project dies.
Node 12 LTS... nope whole project dies.
Install all of react native globally because fuck it, try again... still dies.
Node 10 LTS... project installs but still won't run or build complaining about some conflict with React Native libraries and Cocoa pods.
Go back to my PM... "Um, this project won't work on any version of Node newer than about 5 years old... and even if it did it still won't build, and even if it would build it still runs like shit. And even if we fix all of that Apple might still tell us to fuck off because it's React Native.
Spend like a week in npm and node hell just trying to fucking hand install enough dependencies to unfuck this turds project.
All the while the original dev is still trying TO FIX HIS OWN FUCKING CODE while also being a cocky ass the entire time. Now, I can appreciate a cocky dev... I was horrendously cocky in my younger days and have only gotten marginally better with age. But if you're gonna be cocky, you also have to be good at it. And this guy was not.
Lo, we're not done. OG Dev comes down with "Corona Virus"... I put this in quotes because the dude ends up drawing out his "virus" for over 4 months before finally putting us in touch with "another dev team he sometimes uses".
Next, me and my PM get on a MS Teams call with this Indian house. No problems there, I've worked with the Indians before... but... these are guys are not good. They're talking about how they've already built the iOS build... but then I ask them what they did to sort out the ReactNative/Cocoa Pods conflict and they have no idea what I'm talking about.
Why?
Well, one of these suckers sends a link to some repo and I find out why. When he sends the link it exposes his email...
This Indian dude's emails was our-devs-name@gmail.com...
We'd been played.
Company sued the shit out of the OG dev and the Indian company he was selling off his work to.
I rewrote the app in Swift.
So, lets review... the React dev fucked up his own project so bad even he couldn't fix it... had to get a team of Indians to help who also couldn't fix it... was still a dickhead to me when I couldn't fix it... and in the end it was all so broken we had to just do a rewrite.
None of you get npm. None of you get React. None of you get that doing the web the way Mark Zucherberg does it just makes you a choad locked into that ecosystem. None of you can fix your own damn projects when one of the 6,000 dependency developers pushes breaking changes. None of you ever even bother with "npm audit fix" because if security was a concern you'd be using a server side language for fucking server side programming like a grown up.
So, next time a senior dev with 20 years exp. gets brought in to help triage a project that you yourself fucked up... Remember that the new thing you know and think makes you cool? It's not new and it's not cool. It's just JavaScript on the server so you script kiddies never have to learn anything but JavaScript... which makes you inarguably worse programmers.
And, MF, I was literally writing javascript while you were sucking your mommas titties so just chill... this shit ain't new and I've got a dozen of my own Node daemons running right now... difference is?
Mine are still working.34 -
One of my most favorite quotes:
"UNIX is very simple, it just needs a genius to understand its simplicity."
- Dennis Ritchie2 -
"Give someone a program, you frustrate them for a day; teach them how to program, you frustrate them for a lifetime." - David Leinweber6
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"Telling a programmer there's already a library to do X is like telling a songwriter there's already a song about love." - Pete Cordell5
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Client: I know other developers who would do the same and much more for much less.
Me: I am glad you chose to work with me instead.
Client: I mean I like the site but I still feel that the development process has taken longer than it should have.
Me: Well, it is within the time frame I had said I would be able to have the first version of the site running. I have also implemented quite a number of new features that we had not earlier agreed on.
Client: I think I'll pay (quotes less than 20% of the total cost ).
Me: That is less than the amount that you were to pay as the first instalment ages ago!!
Client: I mean I like the site, but I think it still lacks the X factor. I want ...*goes on to mention other features*
Me: While I take pride in making my clients happy, I believe this process should be mutually beneficial. You are constantly making requests for new features but are making no attempts to meet your end of the agreement.
Client: FYI, there are people begging me for this job.
Me: *Takes down the site.* I wish you all the best, I hope the other developers are up to your standards.
Client: *Literally ignoring the fact that I just quit*. I want (makes more requests).
I am simply going to ignore this one!!!!14 -
Summary of the summary: Boss is an asshole. Root gets angry; boss leaves instead of picking a fight for once. This makes Root sad (and really angry).
Summary: Root has another interaction with her boss. The boss is an asshole. Root is a bitch. Root would have been so so so much more of a bitch if the boss actually fucking responded. Root is sad this didn't happen. Root might have gotten fired. That would have made Root happy. :<
-------------
Le wild blackout appears!
-- Conference call (the short-short version) --
Boss: *freaks out* Fix it! Why aren't you fixing it? You have to fix it.
Me: I'm already fixing it. 😕
Boss: You have to fix it! This is important!
Me: Then let's get off this call so I can focus on fixing it!
Boss: Okay but fix it! *begrudgingly hangs up*
-- Slack --
Me: (posting a running log of what I'm doing) This is what i discovered. this is the cause. these are the possible fixes. I picked this one because it's quick and has few consequences, though it may break ____ so it'll need followup fixes. I'll do those tomorrow. Blackout resolved!
Boss: (apparently doesn't even noticed I fixed his shitty service)
-- Next day --
Boss: I want you to work on [stupid shit] instead.
Me: But what about the followup fixes?
Boss: Top priority! because customer service!
Me: ... fine.
-- Next week (verbatim because wtf) --
Boss: Did we test that [resolution] on ______? No one thought to test this. It didnt cross anyones mind at all? Either you guys can make good decisions and document concerns or I have to be part of every decision [...]. But this is basic. SHould have been a team heads up and said if we are switching this what can it break and can we test it. [sic]
Me: Did you want me to resolve the blackout quickly and allow people to actually use our service, or spend two days checking everything that might possibly have gone wrong? I weighed the possibilities and picked the solution with the quickest implementation with the fewest consequences. You're welcome.
Me: (Quotes boss's "SHould have been a team heads up" and links my "this is what could go wrong" heads-up in Slack)
Boss: (pretends not to even notice)
Boss: (talks about customer service related crap)
What a fucking loser.
I'm so angry he didn't respond and start in on me over it. I wanted to tear him to shreds in front of everyone.
Related:
He tried adding another huge project to my plate earlier today, and I started flipping out on him for all these shitty sales features he keeps dumping on me in place of real work that i still get blamed for not finishing. The contractor stepped in before it got too heated, though, which is probably best because my reaction was pretty unprovoked. The above rant, though? Asshole doesn't read, just blames and yells when he's angry.
I really hate him.20 -
Boss: Can we add a [Close] button at the top right of the modal instead for all the items, the back at the lower left seems out of place.
Me: What modal? You mean move the back button to the top right of the page?
Boss: And make it say [Close]
Me: But it navigates Back. It's not a modal so it doesn't close. [Back] makes more sense than [Close].
Boss: Ok
...
Boss: Change the [Back] on the modal to [Close].
Me: But... fine...
Buttons all now say "Close", they all have double quotes. No one has said anything.
18 -
"One of the best programming skills you can have is knowing when to walk away for awhile." - Oscar Godson2
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PEOPLE. DO NOT LIE ON YOUR RESUME. IT. IS. NOT. WORTH. IT. Ok, backstory.
We had a guy apply for this position at work. It really needed to be filled but also required someone with just the right certifications, so hiring the first schmuck to come along Was not an option.
We search high and low and as time passes without an acceptable applicant we become more desperate and open to negotiation. Basically, you name your price, we’ll agree to it at this point.
So finally a guy comes in, got everything we need but one minor certification. No problem. He can get that on the job, he doesn’t need it to start. He’s hired.
So he quotes us a salary 10% above our top range of what we’d usually pay a guy for this position, we don’t care. He gets it. Plus a housing allowance.
So we’re getting him registered with a place to handle his certification process and they call his four year institution to verify his transcript. We work with hazardous materials and a four year degree in a relevant field is required. It’s standard for the certification training institution to check. Especially when it’s a prestigious big name place like this guy had. And here I used to think that was paranoid of them.
They call and tell us the school says they have no record of him. We do some digging. He was never registered there. I’m like “that’s not possible, his professor is a listed reference. We call that reference.
He worked on a project with this man, he never taught him. Is very fascinated to learn this man has been presenting himself as though he attended the university. Asks to be delisted as a reference.
So long story short it comes out this guy did have a degree in this field, just from a less prestigious university.
The insane thing is, he would’ve still gotten the same job and salary package if he’d been honest about his university!
It is a loss for all involved. He doesn’t have a job. We don’t have anyone working in this position. It’s really unfortunate. Don’t lie on your resume people. Your employer will find out and the risks are not worth the benefits.12 -
Instagram coding pics are so fucking cringe worthy....like for real man. A picture of a simple cpp loop, or averyfuckingbasic Express hello world in some hipster filter with inspirational quotes and everyone looses their shit for it.
Instagram people are so easy.11 -
$ alias sudo='sudo '
(note the intentional space within the quotes, allows using aliases with sudo)
And then:
$ alias fucking=sudo
Allows stuff like:
$ fucking rm /important-stuffs
$ fucking service foobar stop
$ fucking reboot
Enjoy!19 -
Simple 1 day task. This idiot takes two weeks and after 7 days of hounding finally opens a pull request.
I go in to review the code. Should be a simple 10-15 line patch.
13,000 lines of code changed.
THIRTEEN THOUSAND!
"I fixed a bunch of formatting mistakes and replaced all instances of single quotes to double. Consistency is important you know."
20 -
One of my favorite quotes:
"A lack of planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on mine"
Had to apply this liberally at my last job. Even had it posted at my desk for a time.1 -
> Root struggles with her ticket
> Boss struggles too
> Also: random thoughts about this job
I've been sick lately, and it's the kind of sick where I'm exhausted all day, every day (infuriatingly, except at night). While tired, I can't think, so I can't really work, but I'm during my probationary period at work, so I've still been doing my best -- which, honestly, is pretty shit right now.
My current project involves legal agreements, and changing agent authorization methods (written, telephone recording, or letting the user click a link). Each of these, and depending on the type of transaction, requires a different legal agreement. And the logic and structure surrounding these is intricate and confusing to follow. I've been struggling through this and the project's ever-expanding scope for weeks, and specifically the agreements logic for the past few days. I've felt embarrassed and guilty for making so little progress, and that (and a bunch of other things) are making me depressed.
Today, I finally gave up and asked my boss for help. We had an hour and a half call where we worked through it together (at 6pm...). Despite having written quite a bit of the code and tests, he was often saying things like "How is this not working? This doesn't make any sense." So I don't feel quite so bad now.
I knew the code was complex and sprawling and unintuitive, but seeing one of its authors struggling too was really cathartic.
On an unrelated note, I asked the most senior dev (a Macintosh Lisa dev) why everything was using strings instead of symbols (in Rails) since symbols are much faster. That got him looking into the benchmarks, and he found that symbols are about twice as fast (for his minimal test, anyway), and he suggested we switch to those. His word is gold; mine is ignorable. kind of annoying. but anyway, he further went into optimizing the lookup of a giant array of strings, and discovered bsearch. (it's a divide-and-conquer lookup). and here I am wondering why they didn't implement it that way to begin with. 🙄
I don't think I'm learning much here, except how to work with a "mature" codebase. To take a page from @Rutee07, I think "mature" here means the same as in porn: not something you ever want ot see or think about.
I mean, I'm learning other things, too, like how to delegate methods from one model to another, but I have yet to see why you would want to. Every use of it I've explored thus far has just complicated things, like delegating methods on a child of a 1:n relation to the parent. Which child? How does that work? No bloody clue! but it does, somehow, after I copy/pasted a bunch of esoteric legacy bs and fussed with it enough.
I feel like once I get a good grasp of the various payment wrappers, verification/anti-fraud integration, and per-business fraud rules I'll have learned most of what they can offer. Specifically those because I had written a baby version of them at a previous job (Hell), and was trying to architect exactly what this company already has built.
I like a few things about this company. I like my boss. I like the remote work. I like the code reviews. I like the pay. I like the office and some socializing twice a year.
But I don't like the codebase. at all. and I don't have any friends here. My boss is friendly, but he's not a friend. I feel like my last boss (both bosses) were, or could have been if I was more social. But here? I feel alone. I'm assigned work, and my boss is friendly when talking about work, but that's all he's there for. Out of the two female devs I work with, one basically just ignores me, and the other only ever talks about work in ways I can barely understand, and she's a little pushy, and just... really irritating. The "senior" devs (in quotes because they're honestly not amazing) just don't have time, which i understand. but at the same time... i don't have *anyone* to talk to. It really sucks.
I'm not happy here.
I miss my last job.
But the reason I left that one is because this job allows me to move and work remotely. I got a counter-offer from them exactly matching my current job, sans the code reviews. but we haven't moved yet. and if I leave and go back there without having moved, it'll look like i just abandoned them. and that's the last thing I want them to think.
So, I'm stuck here for awhile.
not that it's a bad thing, but i'm feeling overwhelmed and stressed. and it's just not a good fit. but maybe I'll actually start learning things. and I suppose that's also why I took the job.
So, ever onward, I guess.
It would just be nice if I could take some of the happy along with me.7 -
Saw this online, had to giggle:
"I dropped my laptop off the boat. It’s a Dell, rolling in the deep"3 -
"Debugging's actaully all about finding the bug, about understanding why the bug was there to begin with, about knowing that it's existence was no accident.It came to you to deliver a message."
-Elliot, Mr. Robot8 -
Any fool can write code that a computer can understand. Good programmers write code that humans can understand.
So far, this is my inspiration to refactoring the code right after it works as gift to my future self.8 -
When I found out my JSON didn't parse because I used single instead of double quotes after two hours
8 -
Just heard at the coffee machine: "Well, does that mean I'm not allowed to use Trump's quotes to seed the random numbers generator?"1
-
“Looking at code you wrote more than two weeks ago is like looking at code you are seeing for the first time.” – Dan Hurvitz1
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“If it happens once, it’s a bug.
If it happens twice, it’s a feature.
If it happens more than twice, it’s a design philosophy.”1 -
Just came back from a new café (to the pedantic among us, yes I know it's a bar.. get over it).
And I met some Apple fanboy 🤭
So the guy kept on bragging about his shiny iPhone 6.. and I figured that I'd chime in. Due to my short-term memory being terrible, I'll be paraphrasing here.
M: me
S: iPhone usar _/\_
M: iPhone 6 ey..? I've heard about some devices in which the old ones are throttled down in a system update "to save the battery".
S: Yes, biweekly updates!! You can even delay them to tune them down to the time during which your device is charging and can commence its system update.
M (thinking): You've clearly missed the point sir.. but on Android, system updates don't need to be willfully delayed even. They (usually) won't commence unless your device is 80% and charging. OnePlus has been an exception to this though, probably under the assumption that their users are mostly power users that know what they're doing.
M: You do realize that given that your iPhone 6 is quite old already, Apple will very likely start throttling your device during a system update in the next few months, right.
S: What the hell dude.. look, look how smoothly it's been going for the last few years!!! Nothing wrong with that.
M: Just wait until your repair bill comes from those Geniuses 🤭
M: Sir, you do realize that Apple quotes €600 for battery repairs nowadays, right.
S: What the hell dude!!! I can buy a whole new phone for that much!!
M: Exactly!! That's exactly Apple's business tactic!!! They design their phones as such that the battery replacement (one of the most common repairs) requires you to replace not only the battery, but the whole chassis!!! And on the XS, the battery replacement is nothing short of atrocious!!!
M: Here, have a look at this: https://youtube.com/watch/...
*shows Louis' newest video about him switching to iPhone XS*
S: Yeah that's just bullshit. I bet you're showing me this on one of those crappy Samsungs.
M: No sir. I'm showing this on my Nexus 6P, that is tethered to my OnePlus 6T. Speaking of which, let me introduce you to the Nexus 6P's (one of the crappiest Android flagships to ever exist) repair, the battery replacement of which I've done myself.
(you can watch the iFixit video about it here: https://youtube.com/watch/...)
*explains heatgun, screwdriver, heatgun battery replacement of Nexus 6P and the time each step takes - more than an hour combined*
S: Yeah that's because it's one of those crappy Androids. That'd never happen to this shiny iPhone, look, I've got a $20 battery right here!!!
*shows battery*
M: Sir... That's a battery for a MacBook. A laptop battery.... 🤨
I love how willfully ignorant these Apple users are. To them, all that exists is Apple and Samsung (both of which I hate because lockdown). And they apparently don't even know what repair they have to look for when they'll need one.. maybe that's why those Genius Bars exist? 🤭
I'd love to see the guy's face when the Geniuses quote him the price for battery replacement when his planned obsolescence time comes 🤭14 -
After seeing @Gregozor2121 share, I searched around in my bookmarks for similar stuff. Here are a couple of links that I feel is useful for everyone:
A massive list of Free programming books.
https://ebookfoundation.github.io/f...
(Also do explore anything marked as "awesome", cause it literally is awesome!! They have got tons of lists of resources for most programming languages, free software lists, famous stackoverflow answers, quotes & even Pokemon!!)
I also had this bookmarked:
https://github.com/chubin/cheat.sh
Basically cheat sheets at your command line. Pretty neat utility.8 -
!rant
Most programming shirts/hoodies really suck. They fall into two categories:
1. Super lame pun quotes in an ugly font.
2. Memes transfer-printed onto cheap fabric
I'm not against puns, or quotes. I quite like the design from @AlexDeLarge
https://devrant.io/rants/830390/, and I've been looking for a nice shirt with Dijkstra's "simplicity is a prerequisite for reliability" on it.
But many do not put any thought into beautiful design, and shit like "No place like 127.0.0.1", "404 girlfriend not found" or "There are 10 kinds of people" really stopped being funny a decade ago.
Good design, colors & quality are so fucking important.
What are your favorite dev-related clothes?16 -
Old boss story. This guy was nice but a terrible boss. Also relevant, he has a background in IT so should know better.
Him: So when you wanna check a password is correct you just unhash it in the database?
Me: *facepalm*
Me: Hey we should be doing unit and integration testing at a minimum to lower bugs.
Him: We don't need those, we're not a bank. If a problem comes up we just fix it and push to production.
(A while later)
Him(in email): Why do we keep getting bugs reported. Don't you devs test your code.
I was mildly annoyed at that one.
Him: We're always over budget on projects, how can we fix this.
Me: What if we increase our quotes.(technically there are other ways as well but not really possible at that time)
Him: We can't do that, clients won't want to pay.
Me: *finishing off my handover as I'm leaving for a new job*
Him: Wow you do a lot of work2 -
!rant, but you're my friends and I want to share my day...
We've had a problem open since last March (before I started), but our teams identified the issue with the customer's code 2 years ago. No one made progress on it until I took it over. The newest version deployed 3 months ago and has no memory leak. I closed out oldest problem today.
On a personal note, I got quotes for my dj and photographer for my wedding next month, and the price for both is what I would've been willing to pay for one. My wedding was supposed to be very inexpensive, with these and my bartender being the most expensive parts, but due to unfortunate events, my wedding is 4x the cost (have to use a venue, backyard unavailable, which changes ALL my plans).4 -
My teacher showed me this today and I have to share... A programming language made entirely of Arnold schwartzenegger quotes
http://lhartikk.github.io/ArnoldC/3 -
I've been writing more python than English the last month so now I have to go through my essay and replace all the single quotes with double quotes...7
-
You know. I have mixed feelings on the way people have been reacting to senzory's rant regarding the way he deals with clients. Some people believe that he is unethical, some people see it as just business(me included) but to see what the community says is somewhat interesting.
First, let me be clear on something: i have been fucked over by clients many times for being a nice guy and trying to play it nicely.
Because of this I am selective of who deserves good treatment and who gets to fuck off. But regardless of the client I do the same thing: regardless of who it is, nice or otherwise. If a project will take 1 week to complete then I tell them that it will take 3 to 4 weeks. Why? Well because I have many things on my plate, I am married and have two children, one lives with me and I try to spend as much time with them as I can. I work from 8 to 6, sometimes later and when I get home I sometimes don't do shit since at work I maintain the web services of 2 fucking college campuses.
I don't look for my clients. Through word of mouth they come to me. And being in a privileged position(there are about 5 devs here and they all suck) they can either do with my times and fees or can fuck off over the border where Pedro will do their shit on vbscript and classic ASP(which I like, but you know why this is not an option in 2018)
Apps can be sold for large quantities of money, regardless of what their use case is, if a company wants to outsource their apps to an external developer(such as yours truly) that means that they are willing to play the game. And that is what business is: a game, a survival game.
Where I live, a company will not think twice of firing a single mother for whatever reason. In the U.S of A, and specially in Texas, you can be fired for whatever reason. I have automated people's jobs without knowing it, I have made people lose their jobs and saved companies thousands with my apps. Things like that were not know to me, had I known that someone would have lost their jobs I would have tried differently.
If a company is willing to tell employees(loyal employees) to fuck off, then i do not regret charging what I do and hustling the way I do with rat faced dickheads that care not for people. If I could I would destroy entire companies here. But that is for another story.
I have been used, insulted, gambled with and have been lied to, to my face by these companies. Which has left me jaded.
Oh now, trust me. I am still highly optimistic and nice. And if someone has a small business and I can help them out, then I will lower my rate and give positive vibes in the hopes of making things better through karma. I want to see the best in people. But this does not stop me from being a shark and giving quotes the way I do.
Because companies, as an overall entity are not people with the best intentions(sometimes) and they will not take your kindness, they will take advantage if possible in an effort to save money. Its just dickhead business.
So why, as a professional and privileged developer that obtained his skills through intense study and practice, a wizard by all means, should lower to these nameless, Faceless entities?
Why should i give them the fairness they do not give others? Why should I play the high morale game and come out as a loser?
At the end of the day, I get to swim in my own pool of success, knowing that they did not get the chance to fuck me over
So if you tell me that you took advantage of your hard earned skillset, and built a cross platform app(which compiles to native binaries) and sold 2 products for one, I will tell you that you are an excellent player at their game. If you tell me that you finished before and got to charge for 2 weeks of work doing just 2 days I will say that you are an excellent time manager. And if you tell me that at the end of the day you managed to keep said customer I will tell you that you are a true professional.
There is a difference lads, in selling a product to big momma jamma's cajun restaurant, to the largest logistics company around.
Be nice to those that desserve it.6 -
Biggest pet peeve of languages are those that use single quotes for strings.
It's single quotes for characters, double quotes for strings. Suck my diiiick25 -
EEEEEEEEEEEE Some fAcking languages!! Actually barfs while using this trashdump!
The gist: new job, position required adv C# knowledge (like f yea, one of my fav languages), we are working with RPA (using software robots to automate stuff), and we are using some new robot still in beta phase, but robot has its own prog lang.
The problem:
- this language is kind of like ASM (i think so, I'm venting here, it's ASM OK), with syntax that burns your eyes
- no function return values, but I can live with that, at least they have some sort of functions
- emojies for identifiers (like php's $var, but they only aim for shitty features so you use a heart.. ♥var)
- only jump and jumpif for control flow
- no foopin variable scopes at all (if you run multiple scripts at the same time they even share variables *pukes*)
- weird alt characters everywhere. define strings with regular quotes? nah let's be [some mental illness] and use prime quotes (‴ U+2034), and like ⟦ ⟧ for array indexing, but only sometimes!
- super slow interpreter, ex a regular loop to count to 10 (using jumps because yea no actual loops) takes more than 20 seconds to execute, approx 700ms to run 1 code row.
- it supports c# snippets (defined with these stupid characters: ⊂ ⊃) and I guess that's the only c# I get to write with this job :^}
- on top of that, outdated documentation, because yea it's beta, but so crappin tedious with this trail n error to check how every feature works
The question: why in the living fartfaces yolk would you even make a new language when it's so easy nowadays to embed compilers!?! the robot is apparently made in c#, so it should be no funcking problem at all to add a damn lua compiler or something. having a tcp api would even be easier got dammit!!! And what in the world made our company think this robot was a plausible choice?! Did they do a full fubbing analysis of the different software robots out there and accidentally sorted by ease of use in reverse order?? 'cause that's the only explanation i can imagine
Frillin stupid shitpile of a language!!! AAAAAHHH
see the attached screenshot of production code we've developed at the company for reference.
Disclaimer: I do not stand responsible for any eventual headaches or gauged eyes caused by the named image.
(for those interested, the robot is G1ANT.Robot, https://beta.g1ant.com/)
4 -
It is once again that time of year when we say farewell to our current interns and say hello to a brand new batch.
The two groups overlap for a few days. During this time the old interns show the new interns the ropes, while the mentors silently weep in the lunchroom having realized that nothing that they've said over the last 12 months has had any effect whatsoever.
Some choice quotes:
---
New Intern: It says 'uncaught exception'.
Old Intern: Oh don't worry that will fix itself on production.
---
OI: Did you pull the code?
NI: Yeah, but I have all these weird brackets everywhere... [merge conflict]
OI: Oh yeah that happens sometimes, just delete them.
---
NI: It says "push to master rejected". [we enforce code reviews]
OI: Ohh that means the server is broken. You should tell someone, they have to reboot it.
---
NI: Where did that file save to? [we use ONLY macOS and Linux]
OI: C:\Users\<your name>\My Documents\...
---
OI: You can use either pgAdmin or MySQL Workbench. I like Workbench better but I couldn't get it to work, it kept giving me errors.
---
And of course...
---
OI: No, we don't use Linux. We use CentOS.
---
I did the math today. Only 35 more years and I can retire.5 -
!dev but actual long rant - about the students in my grade.
TL;DR: 1 asshole in 10 people can ruin everything. Mobbing sucks. I dislike parties.
There's the word "Jahrgang" in Germany which means the people in the same school year as you. I'll refer to it as "my (collective) classmates" although we don't have classes anymore, rather courses and I also mean those I do not have courses with.
With that out of the way, let the rant begin.
It's often the case that people with high logical and intellectual skills (no being arrogant, other people categorize me like that) have a lack of social skills - or empathy.
I'm a kind of an outsider in a way that since 10th grade I stopped trying to attach myself to certain groups since I do not fit in there. I'm fine with that now. Nowadays I can at least socialize with other nerds.
Here's why I dislike the collective of my classmates. This year is my last school year and as always, a big group forms a spirit. They have a theme (superheroes - super boring). I didn't go to any party they threw and I don't plan to go to the graduation ceremony as well since it's an unofficial party and not a school event. I hate parties. I hate alc and drunken teenagers. I didn't attend the "Kursfahrt" - a kind of excursion that's like holidays with your course - mainly because I dislike my "Stammkurs" (main course).
Why? I had a friend in this course. She was short, geeky and I could actually talk to her. Yet some jerks (not intensely) bullied her because "she was awkward" and in the end, she switched school - also because of other reasons.
When she was gone, even those who didn't bully her and who are considered "nice" made fun of her and talked badly about her - and me hanging around with her. So since then, I avoid anything with them that's not 100% school related.
Now they're planning what we call "Abigag" - it's a joke/prank the graduates pull on the school and younger students, something funny like an entrance room full of balloons and many other things. Also, the "Abizeitung", the yearbook the graduates put out with articles about their courses, teacher ranking and quotes etc. Also, a cabaret evening from the graduates to collect money for the graduation party. Cool stuff actually. I thought about taking part.
I'd say my talents are creativity and computer stuff. So a friend chatted with me about nerdy pranks like a school-wide wallpaper change. Or releasing a fake password list of the teachers - claiming we hacked them - with puns and insiders about the teaches. He said he gotta invite me into the WhatsApp group of the Abi prank. Disclaimer: He's one of those people who are socialized but still able to talk with me. He's fine.
Well guess what he told me later:
They don't want me on the team since I distance myself from my classmates. I should either be fully one of them or not at all.
That's enough. Who distances whom? I thought they were happy to have me on board but horse shit! Stuck with ideologies from the 19th century.
They can lick my ***. I don't have anything against most of them in person but as a collective, they're just fucking stupid. I guess it wasn't even the majority saying they don't want me to help. It was probably just the small crew of leading and loud jerks. And no one would disagree with them saying "Why not? He wants to help?" (even if it was their opinion) - they don't have the brain or balls to say anything against the strong idiot leaders. They'll do great later in politics as an adult - they wouldn't criticize Hitler if they were under his "protection".
So I won't take part in making Abi pranks, - but also not the Paper and cabaret eve. They can go jerk off to being part of a huge collection of assholes - which I, in all my pride, am not part of other than on paper.
(Disclaimer: No critics to other outsiders but those who were engaged and responsible for the choice of not letting me help)
If anyone actually read this:
Who were/are you in school times?
A proud outsider like me? Party boi/girl? Engaged striver?25 -
So, you ask me for a quote. You know nothing about the technology or the problem, but you think the quote is too high.
On what fucking basis are you assessing the quote? On the number of words? Font? Whether your spouse/cat hates you (both do). Basically, whatever I said, you'd have said it was too high, right?
Fuckwit.
Next time *you* tell *me* how much you have to spend and I'll tell you what you can get for your budget.
Maybe a coffee and a small cake.
Don't fucking call me again.2 -
I've been working towards a degree in CS recently after being out of school nearly 10 years. I've been trying really hard to keep an open mind and not complain about the professors, but I have to let this out.
My one class we have to write all of our code in their specified editor which I hate, but I understand the need for standardization, but then once it is error free we have to copy and paste the code into ms word and turn it in!! Really?! In 2018 I can't just submit my source files and you open them to run and grade? I seriously have to copy my code into ms word for you to grade it? I don't even understand how you would grade that because it kills the formatting and readability, not to mention the quotes get changed to their curly counterpart which isn't valid syntax.7 -
Apple's marketing department are just dictionary junkies.
Have you guys read some of the latest Apple quotes for their products? You know, the ones where you visit the page and there's some large bold text summarising the product? Here's a few:
HomePod: "The new sound of home."
If you talk over my Spotify music YOU WILL BECOME THE NEW SOUND OF MY SHED.
iPhone X: "Say hello to the future."
E.Musk put a Tesla in space. Also the future can crash with a single character.
MacOS: "Your Mac. Elevated."
If you fly away I WILL use you as birthday balloon.
iPad Pro: "Anything you can do, you can do better."
SOONER OR LATER *Comment what you would put here*
But I mean hey. It sells right.
Reading it back maybe I'm just blind hating.11 -
How are these EU-Upload Filters even practical for anyone except google? This seems like the most unrealistic specification by non-tech bosses in history to me 😭 What do these people expect the upload filters should compare the uploads to? How the fuck should, say a blog website, ensure that none of the uploads are copyright inflicting? Are quotes copyright inflicting? Or only when I copy paste an entire book and write my name under that? How will that get detected? Do we have a database with all the copyrighted works somewhere, that every company has access to? This shit can basically only work for companies like google which have enough data to implement such filters and thats why they already had an upload filter on youtube anyways. This entire amendment is so fucking ridiculous that it basically has to fail, no doubt. In a few months still nobody is going to have upload filters, watch...9
-
Major update went good through the IT side.
Somehow on a different department, some moron botched up what he had to do (he has a technical role, but he is no programmer or analyst or anything like that and even though he is an admin (with big fucking quotes) no one here would call him so.
He fucks his shit up, and the DBA and myself have to go and fix it. Fine, whatever.
Why am I ranting? Because this bitch sent an email tagging half the board and every other VP stating that it was I.T's fault this happened. Somehow, she had forgotten that she had tagged me into that email since she tagged the Web Developer section email.
I did not give two flying fucks and in front of everyone called them out on what actually happened. I was polite and used some very non-directed "bitch it was you" comments. But it pissed me off that she did that shit behind I.T's back.
Everyone in that email replied saying thank you.....except for her.
I will slap a hoe, I swear.13 -
My dream project. Although we have tools like facebook, twitter, whatsapp, you name it, and although whatsapp is 'officially' (between quotes because I won't believe that until proven by source code or something) end-to-end encrypted, I would like to create an open source platform which basically everyone can use which features all usual tools like email, calendar, voice/video calls etc while being entirely decentralized/end-to-end encrypted.
I'd like to create this because of my own daily struggle of refusing to use closed/non-encrypted tools for communication while a lot of people don't care about privacy and don't want to use tools like Signal, Tox and so on.
It's me not about making money, it's about providing a safe place where people can do their things without the possibility of being spied on without reason.16 -
An open standard quotes the same guy in 2/3 refs, very open indeed.
This guy damaged JavaScript as a language more than anyone else in the world, and he may still call it an achievement.
6 -
My Flask App all of a sudden started throwing 'Error 500 - Internal Server Error' pages at me for a new subpage I made.
I couldn't figure WTF was wrong because the method responsible for the page literally just returned the HTML-template.
After giving up yesterday night, I noticed this morning that I forgot the quotes around the HTML-file name...
2 -
!Rant
Lessons from this picture:
1. Not all opportunities are to be taken. Some are traps.
2. A person can become so determined to destroy another person that they become blind and end up destroying themselves.
3. You fight best in your natural element and environment. Here the bird has advatange in his natural element.
4. Know your limits, we all have them.
5. Sometimes the best response to provocation is not to fight.
6. Sometimes to accomplish something you need team work, you will not always win alone.
7. Stick to what you do best and don't pursue what will kill you.
👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻
2 -
Some of y'all post some retarded quotes man no lie.
"A programmer does not fix computers" ~Some Indian dude
Really??!!
Does that need to be made into a quote? And do you honestly believe something soooo mundane should be attributed to one person only?
"Drink a glass of water every morning, best way to start your day" ~ Alecx(read with Indian accent even though I am Mexican American)
"Sleeping in your own bed is always the best" ~ Alecx
See how stupid that shit is? Quoting shit that is sooooo fucking generic and that literally anyone can think off?
I dunno why it pisses me off soooo fucking much. Ffs. The same thing about "dev jokes" do you have any idea how fucking cringey that shit is? And half the fucking time y'all post that shit in some of the most broken ass English I've ever seen man wtf.
The quality of rants has been going down in spirals and with a dogon YEEEE HAW and darling trust this motherfucker....I know a lil something about yeee haws.....this is a prime example.
Look, people can rant and post whatever the fuck they want. I ain't gonna hold you back on it. Just know that a lot of us think you are a moron.
A cringey moron at that.25 -
Me : so here is your quote for the app
Client : oh yer and it needs to work in both android and iOS, that's not a big deal right?
Me : of course not, however I am going to have to add a little something to your quote!
I don't get how when I ask a client if I got everything right so I can draft up a quote, they don't think to mention stuff like other features they had an idea for or cross platforms they wanted but didn't say in the original proposal -_-3 -
If coding was a thing 100+ years ago, we'd have quotes by great men like "You won't have space for new ideas unless you shit out the old ones in the toilet." which would be an alternative for "the toilet is the best place to think of algorithms and fixes."
-
At one of my former jobs, we devs had to do all sorts of non-dev work, such as writing quotes and even contracts!
The CEO of that company had this naughty habit to contact devs directly without delegating through the CIO. Sure, if it's really urgent like when some system is down because of a bug, go ahead and disturb a dev. But interrupting coders to write some freaking quote? Come on!...
Once, that CEO asked me to stop everything I was doing to write a quote to a customer ASAP, as this was really urgent.
I spent several hours writing that quote. It had to be done right as any specifications in our quotes were used in our agreeements and were referred to in the case of any dispute. So not only were we devs and salesmen in the same time; we also needed to be lawyers.
When I was done and delivered the quote to the CEO, he told me he had no intention to take on that customer in the first place. Instead, he wrote a polite we-are-not-interested e-mail to the customer and cc:d it to me just so that I could read for myself how very sleek a businessman he was.
Me: why did I have to write that quote when you knew all along that you were not going to use it anyway?
Him: It's for your own personal development.
Another naughty habit of that same CEO is that he made "jokes" and remarks that I found inappropriate, such as "You walk like a drunken sailor".
Later, he decided to discontinue our team/product because "it isn't proftable". Well, what do you expect when devs are forced to waste half day completing pointless tasks?!
It was for the better anyway, and I was actually relieved when I left the company. I'm still thinking though, that the real reason he sacked me is that I am too honest and not the docile kind of employee that would be ideal for him. I did question some of my tasks, and worst of all: I didn't laugh at his stupid jokes.1 -
Before I became a Computer Engineer, (actually, this job is where I learned I loved programming) our manager would pull us into a team motivational meeting.
Except she was a bit of an airhead, so her idea of motivation was having a sing-song and listing our favorite movie quotes.
It was even funnier because there was lots of drama surrounding "how she became our manager," and one of our teammates felt as though she should have gotten the job.
Anyway, none of those were the most ridiculous meeting.
The most ridiculous meeting was when the VP of marketing came to town from Florida to address the brewing drama.
In this meeting, all of my teammates suddenly had the delusion that we were in a union and thought they were protected from getting fired. They threw our manager under the bus. I was the only one who could see that he was there to see if our department was worth saving. They thought they were going to get rid of our manager by shitting on her, but they were just confirming his suspicion that there was a bunch of bullshit going on all around.
So I approached the VP after the meeting, and long story short, I was the only one who got through layoffs with a job offer in Florida a couple weeks later.
I didn't take it, because by that time I decided I wanted to go to school for Computer Engineering.1 -
fuuuccckkk stackoverflow.
q: "why doesn't python do this like i want:
me: "Here's an answer that quotes an article and links out explaining with Python 3.6.x doesn't allow that."
every fucker: "downvote, doesn't answer why it isn't allowed"
FUCK YOU, PROVIDE AN ANSWER THAT DOESN'T SAY WHAT I SAID5 -
Man, fuck the SO community
I asked a question on software engineering (all fancy like, links quotes checked spelling and grammar etc.)
if it would be beneficial to switch to another language in order to increase performance and memory limitations during a specific task
Literally one guy said it violated 4 of their rules
Opinion based; asking for language switch; too vague and another one
About 20/30 minutes later my question had a -3 score...
Fuck off with too vague, also why shouldn't I switch language for a single task... If it would be faster..
Anyway found an even better solution, but it cannot be enough said.. the SO community is a bunch of old stubborn fucks who only care about their score.4 -
I only develop UIs with react and only ever with functional components
I would actually DIE without my MacBook Pro 16”
I spend roughly 30 minutes a day trimming my beard. I’m a civilized man after all
I only drink Starbucks coffee, and only if it’s a triple pump latte
Ew what’s jQuery? Sounds like something my grandpa used
Omg really? Are you still using PHP in 2020?! Lame!
Gross. Windows is for n00bs and Linux is for nerds. macOS FTW
Post is comprised of quotes from a classmate who annoyed the living hell out of me14 -
Finally started working on learning React the other day. Seeing raw HTML outside of quotes being treated as valid JS code is...unsettling, to say the least.6
-
I work for a web agency.
Over the last 18 months a company asked us about 5 different quotes for rather minimal changes to their website.
While being minimal changes, estimating costs for them still requires several hours of work for research, meetings, correspondance and writing the damn things. They never even gave us a response (neither positive nor negative), except once where they told us that they wouldn't pay for project management because their instructions are so clear that PM isn't necessary.
As a response to the last one, after several months, they send us a 10 pages long pdf with requirements for a new website (or a "restyle" like they call it, even if it has absolutely nothing in common with the current one).
We inform them that we can't permit ourselves to continue studying new solutions for free and therefore tell them that a detailed offer would cost them something like 300$, and that amount would then be discounted from the eventually accepted job. We also roughly estimate a price range of about 15k - 20k for the new website.
We get an email back, from the CEO (until now it was a secretary), with essentially 3 arguments written in condescending form:
1. he brags about his revenue being over 9 billion $$$ a year, and that being a part of a global holding for which "communication is essential" (sic.) means that they need to coordinate and "can't simply accept an offer" [even if it's 400$, for specific change exactly requested by them, I guess...]
2. 15k is too much [... for the website representing this 9 billion dollar holding on the internet, for which the requirements are written in the 10 pages long pdf]
3. He asks for a meeting
We accept the meeting, we go to their office.
When we arrive there, the secretary informs us that the CEO will not participate. So we talk the her and the head of the "Communication Dept" in videoconference.
I explain them that if the sum, which we thought would be appropriate (~15 - 20k), is too high, the Pareto principle would allow us to, theoretically, achieve about 80% of the features and quality for about 20% of the cost. Their genuine response is:
"So your estimate was wrong! You can do it for much less!".
I try to explain them that the most money in a project goes into "attention to detail".
The "Communication Dept." person, who is "doing this job since too much time" (sic.), refuses to believe and insists that "details" don't exist on the web.
I tell her: "In any kind of work, the more effort you put into something, the better it tends to get, with diminishing returns".
She insists: "I don't understand this".
So now I'm here, doing the 6th offer, free of charge, for a 5k website, for a company that generates 9kkk revenue each year, trying to define a "Definition of Done" that works out.
FML I guess.
Sorry for the long post.7 -
My most memorable co-worker? Have quite a few memorable positive and negative ones.
One of the positives was an ex-Marine (only a few months back from Iraq) 'Erin' who 'butt-ed heads' with an ex-Navy "vet" 'Tom' who was also our source control nazi (I've ranted about him before). "Vet" is in quotes because HR decided to research Tom's 'service' (what ship did he served on, etc) for an upcoming salute to veterans. They found out 'Tom' hurt his knee in basic training and had to be discharged.
Tom enjoyed talking his military "service" until HR spilled the beans (another story behind that, I'll share if interested), and when Erin found out Tom never stood foot outside basic training as a soldier, the alpha-male shit hit the fan.
The F-bombs were as plentiful as leaves in the fall.2 -
Date of doom... they forgot the double quotes...
(btw. $dateString is in the form "1234-10-11")
The fun part is that this comparison fails because $dateString is not numeric (due to "-") thus won't be (non-strictly) equal to 0 (int).
Damn fuucking amateurs... all hacks no skill.
10 -
For me the best of being a dev was described by Fred Brooks in his "The Mythical Man-Month":
...The programmer, like the poet, works only slightly removed from pure thought-stuff. He builds his castles in the air, from air, creating by exertion of the imagination. Few media of creation are so flexible, so easy to polish and rework, so readily capable of realizing grand conceptual structures....
Yet the program construct, unlike the poet's words, is real in the sense that it moves and works, producing visible outputs separate from the construct itself. […] The magic of myth and legend has come true in our time. One types the correct incantation on a keyboard, and a display screen comes to life, showing things that never were nor could be...
https://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/...1 -
Dear ESLint,
- you convinced me to put a space between function() and {
- you convinced me to use single quotes for strings in place of double quotes
- you convinced me to put a space between inline operators
- you had me when you said that trailing spaces shouldn't compare in my code
- you said to put semicolons at the end of each instruction, and I thought it wasn't a so bad idea
BUT NO FUCK OFF NO NEVER I WON'T NEVER PUT A FUCKING TRAILING COMMA IN THE END OF JAVASCRIPT OBJECT IT'S MEANINGLESS UGLY A WASTE OF A FUCKING BYTE.
WHY THE FUCK I SHOULD TYPE var obj = {a: 'some text',} INSTEAD OF var obj = {a: 'some text'} WHY WHAT'S THE MEANING OF THAT FUCKING COMMA9 -
I'm fed up of this fight about tab and spaces.
Do you prefer single or double quotes for strings?14 -
Just found this website and thought I'd share it with my favourite community 😊
http://thoughtsoncoding.com5 -
Hi guys, I created a tiny Anime quotes API called Animechan. Totally free to use anywhere 😊✨
https://animechan.vercel.app/
15 -
you wanna know what the most hilarious shit is? hackernews users AKA the 6 figure startup bros that "rule the world" in terms of code and software...
trying to argue the best way to build a website 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
here's some select quotes:
"I believe the most minimalistic and productive way is to just use php"
^ this guy must not know its 2023 now
"Unless you are a web developer I don't see the point of a CSS framework, it's much easier to roll your own."
^ this guy must not know the pain and suffering that is 'rolling your own' in CSS
"Sadly, I just don't have the time to generate the content I wanted to do, so the site sits."
^ this guy just... wait, what?
but you know what? these guys clearly know WAY more than me in terms of software, it's good they get infinite salad bar and prime rib every day at silicon valley's best and brightest!
please fucking kill me i want it to end16 -
I've had today a meeting with the CEO regarding some designs. Here have some quotes that he made:
1. So you can click, click, click, click, click
2. numbers are so complicated so I just said something
3. I like the vibe in Amsterdam
4. We are doing a rebranding. Our rebranding document is the color of the 2 blues and one orange
5. I've to ask my wife for the design (with no design experience) to make the rebranding documents
6. In <the app our technicians/support use>, you can brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrb
7. This is what differeniate us between most applications; FAVORITE SQUARES
8. I never watch that mess. I don't even know if it works or have ever worked with it. (talking about a simple table view)
9. You have been reported to the admins (in an admin-only application for our customers)
10. It's always nice to see developers think; when I don't think
11. But it's already an iPhone (when looking at android designs & cries in largest userbase in my country)6 -
Who the fuck sends good morning images to strangers?!
And there was this person who sent me images of good morning quotes out of blue on WhatsApp. I have never met or know this guy and vice versa. I was very creeped out.
I didn't recognise the phone number initially, but later I figured out that this person might be an employee of my ( relative ) client and he was using the mobile number assigned for the business like his personal WhatsApp account with his own profile picture and all. Very unprofessional.
He sent me similar messages for a week and I didn't bother to open the messages. I'm gonna pretend like I don't recognise the phone number. Anyways, his messages have stopped.
I hope I'll never have to face him or have any business discussion with him. I'm never ever gonna visit this relative client at his place as long as he is an employee there.6 -
Took me an hour to figure out what was wrong, those quotes aren't part of the error message... :'(
4 -
The senior developer swore the server was responding with a 500 because I, the co-op, was definitely sending the 'wrong encoding' whenever I post special characters. He said, "I'm only taking your data and putting it straight into the database!!!"
I found out it was breaking because he was converting the JSON payload to a STRING and simplistically separating the keys and values by colons and double quotes. Yuuup. Nothing can go wrong there...
4 -
Which are one of the most badass , kickass, inspiring, jaw dropping quote about programming/coding/hacking which you have heard?24
-
“There's one technique that you must use if you want people to listen to you: listen to them.” - The Pragmatic Programmer 📖2
-
Client: There is currently no way for us to save forms to “the cloud” (yes they actually put the cloud in quotes)
Me: That would be because this software is installed on your onsite server infrastructure and is not cloud hosted in any way. -
Mentoring rocks!!!
I have been lucky to have a wonderful mentor. He helped me to get my master CS after I arrived in Montreal. When I had a housing problem not only did he take me in for a couple of weeks but he even helped me get a new flat!
He's the reason I'm not a dickhead.
I continue to have mentorees. Get them around the last year of their bachelor (they need to know how to code) and follow them for 3 years.
"Be the change you want to see" - everyone who quotes Gandhi3 -
Bjarne Stroustrup is someone I enjoy reading about, is still alive, is relatable, has done something significant, has healthy introspection, and his quotes look like shit people post on devrant:
https://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/...
He also knows how to write a language reference that is fun to read. Who does that shit?1 -
Not work, but was very pissed off anyways.
So, today my C# lecturer was teaching about escape sequences in strings. Specifically, he's showing how to escape the single quotes character ( ' ) since we're learning about how to send SQL queries as well.
He started writing on the whiteboard the following and said that this was how to escape the single quotes character in a string:
\' "abc123" \'
Me and one of my classmates looked at this and started to ask questions, since this is definitely not how you do it. Somehow, the lecturer could not understand us. We tried to explain it the best we could, starting from verbally, then writing on the whiteboard, then even showing code on a laptop. For some unknown reason the lecturer still couldn't understand where he was wrong and both of us just gave up after 15 minutes of trying to explain it.
Mind you, most of the class had little to none prior programming experience, me and said classmate are one of the few that actually programmed before, so all my other classmates were just very confused as to what is right and what is wrong.
Now I'm really questioning my lecturer's abilities....5 -
Eric Thomas' Top 10 Rules For Success
1- Know what you want.
If you don’t know what you want, how will you know what to say yes to in your life? Stop taking every body else’s leftovers and step up and take what you deserve!
2- Work on your gift.
We all have our own individual talents, gifts and strengths. But those natural gifts will only become truly great by refining and nourishing them. Natural ability will get you started, but commitment and determination to achieve greatness is what will get you to where you want to be.
3- No excuses.
Stop using your circumstances, finances or current position in life as an excuse to justify why you aren’t working towards your goals. You are in charge. If you aren’t where you want to be, take a look in the mirror and ask yourself honestly- WHY? Take responsibility for you life once and for all.
4- Upgrade your values.
Your values dictate your behaviours. And your behaviours create your results. If you want to a different result, you need to change your behaviour.
5- You reap what you sow.
Nothing in life is free. It is up to you to determine the course of your life. If you want success, you need to do what it takes, daily, to get there. Don’t focus so much on being successful. Focus on solving problems, helping others, and adding value to people’s lives, and success will come.
6- Education is the great equaliser.
If you are at the bottom, you need to learn. If you are at the top, you still need to learn. Never, ever, ever stop growing and educating yourself.
7- What is your WHY?
Why do you wake up in the morning and hustle? Why do you do what you do? Knowing the answer to this question is the single most important thing to know about yourself if you want to become successful. When you know WHY you are doing what you do, you won’t ever quit, even on a bad day.
8- Have boundaries.
If you want to be a huge success, you have to be strict on yourself with how you spend your energy. Distractions will come in many forms, family, friends, TV, but you have to make sure that your time is being spent wisely.
9- Speak from the heart.
Transparency is attractive. Don’t be afraid to open up to the world and let yourself be seen.
10- Succeed as bad as you want to breathe.
Everybody wants to be successful. But not everybody is willing to do the work that it takes to become successful. When you are willing to get so uncomfortable, so out of your depth, so blind that you have no other choice but to be successful, THEN you will become successful. The only question you need to ask yourself is this. Am I willing?
Credits: https://fearlessmotivation.com/2016...
2 -
Wisdom tooth is trying to burst through my fucking gum, but it's still less annoying than a friend I have who:
- Constantly posts shitty 'inspiring' quotes on his facebook and tags everyone on his friendlist in 'em.
- Watches motivational speakers and constantly links you up to them.
- Tells you to 'aim higher' or to 'look for a job in a bigger company' or I won't achieve 'the success'.
..bitch, what kind of success have you achieved to tell me what to do with my god damn life?4 -
Impossible deadline experience?
A few, but this one is more recent (and not mine, yet)
Company has plans to build a x hundred thousand square feet facility (x = 300, 500, 800 depending on the day and the VP telling the story)
1. Land is purchased, but no infrastructure exists (its in a somewhat rural area, no water or sewage capable of supporting such a large facility)
2. No direct architectural plans (just a few random ideas about layout, floor plans, parking etc)
3. Already having software dev meetings in attempt to 'fix' all the current logistical software issues we have in the current warehouse and not knowing any of the details of the new facility.
One morning in our stand-up, the mgr says
Mgr: "Plans for the new warehouse are moving along. We hope to be in the new building by September."
Me: "September of 2022?"
<very puzzled look>
Mgr: "Um, no. Next year, 2021"
Me: "That's not going to happen."
Mgr: "I was just in a meeting with VP-Jack yesterday. He said everything is on schedule."
Me: "On schedule for what?"
<I lay out some of the known roadblocks from above, and new ones like the political mess we will very likely get into when the local zoning big shots get involved>
Mgr: "Oh, yea, those could be problems."
Me: "Swiiiiishhhhh"
Mgr: "What's that?"
Me: "That's the sound of a September 2021 date flying by."
Mgr: "Funny. Guess what? We've been tasked with designing the security system. Overhead RFID readers, tracking, badge scans, etc. Normally Dan's team takes care of facility security, but they are going to be busy for a few weeks for an audit. Better start reaching out to RFID vendors for quotes. Have a proposal ready in a couple of weeks."
Me: "Sure, why not."1 -
It's always fun to see some less experienced folks struggle with the shell :D
- quotes (single/double)
- subshells (and lost updates)
- variable substitutions (#, ##, %, %%, /, //)
- IFS
- environments vs variables
- associative arrays' limitations
and many more ways to drive the person crazy :)
I remember the times when I used to spend days-weeks over some problem - only because I didn't know how shell works. But it was worth it :)
Now I can watch others be tortured in the shell because they refuse to listen to my advice :popcorn:6 -
If you ever feel unwanted, just know that someone, somewhere, has wanked about you at some point
They're masochists ofc, but it still counts7 -
I started using duckduckgo about ten years ago and have evangelized it ever since, including on devrant, but I think I've just about had it with it. Let me explain.
I was more than happy to accept the less-than-google results for standard searches, because I could force the site to only show me results that matched an exact string if I put quotes around it, or force the results to include or exclude results with words with minus or plus characters before them.
But that's all gone now. Now, plus just means, "show me more results with this word," and minus means, "show me fewer results with this word." Wrapping a string in quotes doesn't mean you require anything exact anymore. The name of the game with DDG now is the same as Google: engagement. Narrowed results or fewer results means less chance of clickthroughs, and you can't sell ads that way.
For normal searches, I'm off duckduckgo. It makes me sad.
Let me clarify though that DDG's bang searches are still fully functional, and are still an absolutely indispensable part of my workflow. I use them well over a hundred times a day, every day. I updated my rofi script for web searches to use qwant, but still go to DDG if the search string begins with a bang.5 -
Here's some of my favorite quotes from "The Mythical Man-Month":
"The bearing of a child takes nine months no matter how many women are assigned".
"The management question ... is not whether to build a pilot system and throw it away. You will do that. The only question is whether to plan in advance to build a throwaway, or to promise to deliver the throwaway to customers."
"I once knew a boss who invariably picked up the phone to give orders before the end of the first paragraph in a status report. That response is guaranteed to squelch full disclosure." -
I was working as a software dev contractor at this company providing specific e-learning services for a specific industry X.
One day the CEO posts on Linkedin about an interview discussing the potential of gaining $100k per year working in industry X after getting specialized training for 6 months (using our e-learning platform of course) .
My gross income at the time was $65k. My experience was about 7-8 years. Now the thing is you might say "gee that's pretty low for a dev, especially a contractor", and yes I agree, but you have to understand a few facts:
1. I am from eastern Europe (cheapish labor - which btw for all of you out there from the West, including Germany and whatnot, it is xenophobic to consider easterners cheap and it personally insults me and my ability - but that's another story)
2. I was happy to accept the offer since it was the best I had up to that point :))
Now, by the time the LinkedIn post I was heavily invested in the product development. I personally had written 30% of the code (frontend and backend) compared to the whole development team (about 15 devs)... and yes you might argue that performance is not measured by number of lines of code... but trust me when I am saying I did the most on that product, and I am not saying this to brag, I actually care about the stuff that I work on.
When I saw that post on Linkedin I thought to myself "what kind of BS is this? I am a dev and devs are supposedly the best paid workers out there, and a guy from industry X that just got trained for 6 months would get more than me?! WTF?!"
So I messaged the CEO ...
Me: I noticed the post from linkedin about $100k by working in industry X, I am curious how does one get to that revenue per year? What is your advice?
CEO: The best way to obtain value is by creating value which you maximize continuously.
Me: and how does one maximize value?
CEO: it does not matter how hard your work but how large of an impact you make!
Me: ... and how do you measure impact? (me thinking about performance reviews for contract negotiations - and because performance reviews should be SMART -> meaning it should be measurable somehow)
CEO: Simon Sinek says ... << insert motivational quote here because I don't remember and don't care >>
I just lost if after reading the name "Simon Sinek" ...
So you see my dear friends ? It is all fairy dust, smoke and mirrors, in the end it is about maximizing profits, lowering costs and maintaining the illusion of opportunity... when there is none.
Lord is my witness... I hate hypocrisy and quackery ...
You can imagine that my contribution on that product immediately lowered, doing the bare minimum to meet the contract demands AND I FEEL NO REGRET.
%&#$ YOU SIMON SINEK.4 -
all of them. countless wasted hours.
as fate decided to turn me from $random-dev-geek into "the guy that calls the shots in tech", one of my earliest decisions was to automate formatting.
everywhere, automated at CI.
gofmt was an inspiration for the industry.
js?/ts? use prettier
C++? use ClangFormat
etc.
always default settings.
enforced by pre-commit hooks and CI.
never a single argument about bracket style, I don't care if someone likes single or double quotes better.
"fucks given" counter is fixed at 0.
everybody prefers it (ok, sometimes after a while sometimes)
of course there is still some more conventions to do for us humans.
IMHO the most critical ones.
like naming or even casing (camel, snake, kebab, - which one works where), but taking out most of the "so what" decisions takes discussions to a much more resonable level.6 -
The infuriating edgecases of python copypasta.
If you're like me, and you find it easier to noodle in notepad++ and the console, then you may have encountered this peculiar bug.
Try padding blank spaces on an empty string variable, and follow it with print(blanks + str(var))
#for any variable
Now copypaste that along with at least one other line at the same time.
Observe how no matter what you do, print will always output the blanks variable on a separate line, with quotes.
Try rewriting right-justify? No good.
Try using f-format strings? No good.
Raw strings? Inspecting bytes to see where the newlines and carriage returns are being inserted? Nothing.
Copypaste with multiple strings will *always* insert quotes and a new line when printing *any* variable with a string thats been justified.
And this is 100% non-congruent with pasting the same *line* of code *by itself*, which works as intended, no quotes or additional new lines are inserted.
I just went ahead, turned the snippet into a function, and called it from there, which solved the problem entirely.6 -
Co-worker: At my last job "I was technically lead dev", so don't mind me telling you what to do and criticizing every line of code you write. (He said that in finger quotes. I am also paraphrasing the last part, but you get the gist).
Me: So the fact that we are both level 3 programmers means nothing?
Co-worker: Exactly! See you understand!
Me in my mind: What a prick!
Just a little context there aren't any lead devs at our company, our boss doesn't want any. Also we have been working at this company together for 3 years, and this co-worker just said that to me today, WTF?13 -
projektaquarius's quotes to live by:
"Let it be known that I raised my concerns, then did it anyway" -
OK people, I don't need a novel written for every line of code, but PLEASE STOP trying to tell me that "yOuR coDe sHouLd bE sELf dOcUmeNtiNg aNd cOmMenTs mEaN iT's aUtoMaTiCaLLy bAd". That's a bunch of BS. I can't begin to tell you how many times I've saved my own butt by dropping a "this call can't be awaited; causes the library's internal API to throw an error" comment in my C#, or a "can't use double quotes here; doesn't work right for some reason" line in my JavaScript. Sometimes there are very good but un-obvious reasons why something was done a certain way, even though it looks like it could be done better. And don't try to tell me "the tests will catch it". Let's be realistic here, nobody has 100% test coverage on any project that's much more than "Hello World". And even if the tests DID catch it, why waste the time when you could just write a comment?
P.S.: This is not directed at anyone on here specifically. It's directed at all the devs I've met IRL and the comments I've seen on SO, who think that comments must be bad.12 -
Every website we craft at work has some email substitution logic so that addresses you see on the site don't actually exist in the HTML source like that (you wouldn't find them in a format like "foo@example.com").
Instead the @ and the period right before the TLD get replaced with something else (to prevent (dumb) spam bots from using that address and blast it with junk).
Some people replaced them with images in the past (ew), replaced the @ with "(at)" or other stuff.
I made it a habit to render the @ and . by replacing them with span tags which then get a ::before in CSS that contains "content: '@';", so that the @ is visible but is not actually inside the HTML source code.
The classes for these spans then have a random name (persistent for that website though). The first one was called "move-along-nothing-to-see-here", but then I started naming them after Star Wars quotes.
One website's @ class is called "that-s-no-moon" (Obi Wan), others are called "i-have-a-bad-feeling-about-this" (Han Solo), "powerful-you-have-become-the-dark-side-I-sense-in-you." (Yoda) and "these-are-not-the-droids-you-are-looking-for" (Obi Wan).12 -
It is a PITA, when you have to triple escape single and double quotes in strings in order to get your stuff working.1
-
I'm curious .... Devs seem to love quotes that try to give you some profound wisdom
Personally I don't care for them kind of like reading cards but id like to know if you guys have any 🤔
Mainly what you think of when you need to get things done what keeps you driven7 -
Clients expecting quotes before explaining the full extent of the work and then getting mad when I change it after they add a billion more features.
Also, cross-browser testing 😫🔫1 -
Just found I can bypass CORS / Same-Origin-Policy with anyorigin or crossorigin in Javascript.
Now I can easily scrap motivational quotes, Hell Yeah.
* btw I am building random quotes generator but want to generate quotes with web-scraping *
8 -
I swear to god, if I read another medium post on how you managed to be focused and productive I will fucking... well... roll my eyes, make a facepalm and rant about it on devRant!
Who gives a shit if I'm unproductive and unfocused?!
Well, look at me now, I'm fucking productive while I write about you, you fucking peace off shit! And guess what? I'm not even using any of your 40 todo apps or time trackers. There is no pomodoro timer next to me or framed quotes from Steve Jobs hanging on the wall. Oh, I must be a fucking genius!
But what if YOU became unproductive?
What will happen when YOU start to procrastinate?
Do you really think the world would care?
Oh, but you are not really a writer are you? you're a developer building your app!?
Well fuck, I guess you're going to change the world than?
It's your big project. Your life's work, your legacy.
Let me remind you...
All apps will be abandoned!
All blog post will be forgotten!
Productive people will die!
Focused people will die!
Enthusiastic bloggers writing about productivity will die!
All CEOs and CTOs will die!
All developers will die!
Steve Jobs is dead!
In x years, you and I will also be dead!
Whatever you do, it's not really that important!
It's really not.
You're not going to change the world.
The world doesn't need another app.
The world doesn't need your advice on how to be productive.
You are not special.
Deal with it!8 -
This is a story of how I did a hard thing in bash:
I need to extract all files with extension .nco from a disk. I don't want to use the GUI (which only works on windows). And I don't want to install any new programs. NCO files are basically like zip files.
Problem 1: The file headers (or something) is broken and 7zip (7z) can only extract it if has .zip extension
Problem 2: find command gives me relative to the disk path and starts with . (a dot)
Solution: Use sed to delete dot. Use sed to convert to full path. Save to file. Load lines from file and for each one, cp to ~/Desktop/file.zip then && 7z e ~/Desktop/file.zip -oOutputDir (Extract file to OutputDir).
Problem 3: Most filenames contain a whitespace. cp doesn't work when given the path wrapped in quotes.
Patch: Use bash parameter substitution to change whitespace to \whitespace.
(Note: I found it easier to apply sed one after another than to put it all in one command)
Why the fuck would anyone compress 345 images into their own archive used by an uncommon windows-only paid back-up tool?
Little me (12 years old) knowing nothing about compression or backup or common software decided to use the already installed shitty program.
This is a big deal for me because it's really the first time I string so many cool commands to achieve desired results in bash (been using Ubuntu for half a year now). Funny thing is the images uncompressed are 4.7GB and the raw files are about 1.4GB so I would have been better off not doing anything at all.
Full command:
find -type f -name "*.nco" |
sed 's/\(^./\)/\1/' |
sed 's/.*/\/media\/mitiko\/2011-2014_1&/' > unescaped-paths.txt
cat unescaped-paths.txt | while read line; do echo "${line// /\\ }" >> escaped-paths.txt; done
rm unescaped-paths.txt
cat escaped-paths.txt | while read line; do (echo "$line" | grep -Eq .*[^db].nco) && echo "$line" >> paths.txt; done
rm escaped-paths.txt
cat paths.txt | while read line; do cp $line ~/Desktop/file.zip && 7z e ~/Desktop/file.zip -oImages >/dev/null; done3 -
! Rant
So this project manager from a start up contacted me about a few Jobs are they are looking to get done for their app. They asked for cost and I gave them a ballpark range depending upon the type of work. Anyway, after getting a tour of their over engineered app with 128 menu items for a users to go through to get something done, I gave them the hourly rate on the "higher" side of the ballpark which was $5/hr more than lower. Guess what, next I get an email with 4 huge paragraphs, explaining how I am trying to charge them so much extra and is way over the quote. I passed myself laughing and wished him good luck with their start up... -
Quote of the day:
The strength of JavaScript is that you can do anything with it. The weakness is that you will!!!
🤣🤣
- JavaScript Allongé -
Arghhhh.
So I'm working alongside a very big development house that specialises in vehicle finance. They are huge - 60 plus developers, only work in pairs, have a minimum fee of £2500 per day and work with all the largest car manufacturers.
However, today they decided to completely change their api sub domain and all api routes that handle finance quotes. No warning at.
Of course sites I'm working on that consume this consume the said api are broken too.
To make things worse, my client pYs this company circa £19000 per year to use their api. I also recently discovered that the client is paying for their so called managed service. Insanity.
I mean seriously. This company has 4 layers of project manager and 3 forms of a senior developer. According to companies house their turnover is in excess of £4 million per year.
However, they get the basics wrong and do not warn in advance of major changes to their core api service.
Off I go to deal with 10 of project manAgers and support people in the hope if speaking to someone who can actually help.4 -
I always recite borg quotes in my head when my classes need to inherit properties. Your technological and biological distinctiveness with be added to our own. Resistant is futile.
-
Everyone wants faster programs, so doing more optimisations with GCC at -O3 instead of -O2 makes the program quite a bit larger, but... SLOWER. Makes sense, right? Why do you even have -O3 if it generates larger AND slower binaries than -O2?
Ah IC, it's because you use that level only on individual hot functions, not on the full program. How do I do that? Function attribute for optimisation. Cool. Uhm, what is the exact syntax? The fucking GCC documentation doesn't say that. When will devs finally learn to give bloody EXAMPLES?!
Googling around. Ah, with quotes, but without the leading hyphen it seems. Copy/paste. Compile again, tadaa: it's only a little bit but still FUCKING SLOWER than -O2!
GCC's -O3 is like that stupid kid at McD that ate like a damn horse, had to vomit afterwards and was even more hungry than before!13 -
Curious interview process for a job I was denied for. I was told to create an app for a "case study" I was given a week it was supposed to be a single activity sports app written in MVVM with a specific API. I turned in a single activity, 3 fragment application, that made queries and displayed results from that specific API as well as told the weather and in quirky quotes told you whether or not it was a good idea to go tailgating. When I got to the interview after turning it in a day early they said they loved the application, hounded me on code (all questions in which I answered) and they told me that I would get word on next steps within the next few days. Obviously I didn't get that job as earlier stated however, does this not seem weird?3
-
Not really in work as a job, these people inspired me rather in lifestyle and thinking: (these are not quotes!!)
Richard Stallman - you can't be sure the program isn't harmful unless you see and understand the code.
Linus Torvalds - doesn't matter if you like the person or not, let the code speak for him/her.
Raymond Hettinger - there are both stupid and smart people. It doesn't matter. What matters is asking the right questions and providing clean and explaining answers. -
If you think parametised queries will save the day think again.
I occasionally test sites I visit throwing a few quotes at inputs and query params.
I also always test logging in as % with user or pass.
Not only are plaintext passwords a thing but so is this:
WHERE username LIKE ? AND password LIKE ?.
Once I saw an OR.7 -
Unpopular opinion.
TOML sucks
* it does not claim to care about indentation but it actually does
* nested datastructures are a nightmare, especially 'inline' for 'readability'
* oh fuck me everything must be "double quotes"
* booleans always lowercase, there is no "truthy" here.
* Tables are not intuitive at all.
And all this from working with it first time because I had the silly idea to modernize a python project to use pyproject.toml
Oh and don't get me started on pyproject.toml files. The documentation sucks!6 -
Down with Helvetica code blocks in devRant!
When you write something inside `these quotes` in Telegram, it gets rendered in a monospace font.1 -
My current job makes me want to question my life choices.
Its a complete burnout.
I do 9 to 6 never 6 though its always 7 or 730 come home exhausted, and still on almost all days need to attend to customers after hours. Customer meeting at 8.30pm are quite consistent occuring. Being a developer, debugging meetings I can understand to a certain extent, but why the f i am preparing quotes and pitching products.
Want to prep for new job boom no time left to do so other than weekends.4 -
Just graduated, first real internship.
So basically I'm the only one who do what I'm supposed to do, nobody can help me because they are on project that are totally different. Even my superior who hired me don't know what my predecessor exactly did, he just gave me his gitlab and said "continue... Whatever this shit was".
So I'm alone and the code of my "predecessor" doesn't work obviously because the half of the files are missing, the code has no explanation and he's not joignable. I have to build an algorithm of deep learning from scratch and to do a presentation in one month to explain to everyone why I'm not useless.
Is it really like this everywhere?? Is it the reason why DevRant was created??
I read the quotes when I was in school like "oh no c'mon that really never happened". Foolish boy I was..
But there's nice coffee6 -
When you receive a mass email along with all your competitors from someone looking for a quote. You know we are all just going to double our quotes as your being a dick.
-
Programmer Birthday Cake quote ideas anyone?
At the moment all we could come up with was:
printf("%d\n", ++(betty->age));
But it's just so cliche.4 -
God, the dude who "assisted" me today can go and fuck himself with a cactus.
I need to configurate and integrate some cms into a project. But since the documentation is utter horse shit and superficial, it's fucking torture to do so!
So after creating an issue on their helpdesk, i get an answer from some employee there. Instead of actually posting something useful, he decide that he could instead quote the fucking documentation.
Of course, he also quotes the very page i mentioned in my issue for being COMPLETELY USELESS. This goes back and forth. And he keeps just quoting the fucking documentation.
So i decompiled their product and painstakingly worked out how the feature worked that i needed.
Fuck you support asshole. I hope you get to maintain a legacy VBA project!3 -
I thought I'd seen the worst possible code.
Until I saw this stored procedure. It was forming a string of JSON by concatenation of double quotes and queries in between.
No wonder it took upwards of 200 seconds to insert just one record.2 -
I like how software is smart so I have to do things twice instead of once.
Automatically putting quotes works only if you put quotes and then paste inside it, the problem is I usually paste then put first quote and then need to remove second quote and put it on back and remove second quote from back.
Video start from where you left automatically fires and shows closing credits because you obviously want to see them.
Evaluate variable removes old evaluation because why you want old one when you have new.
Collapsing imports or functions in ide so you need to expand them all the time because who needs to look at functions when we have ai
AI models suggesting and adding meaningless annotations and code suggestions to distract me.
Randomly running some console command because I entered keyboard shortcut I don’t know even exists.
Literally every web browser address bar becomes advertising network instead of showing me history results.
Shadowing browsing history when you click back and forward button.
Search results are now buy results.
Suggesting me useless crap to watch because I watched one video in that topic.
Showing me 10 minutes videos as a solution to my problem where I want to find exact line of text to copy paste it. If I’m lucky I need to write text from video into my computer.
Stack overflow infinite loop of answered in #some-different-question
I think it’s about time for me to slowly retire from programming and software as a whole or switch to notepad because I don’t want to use this crap anymore.
Looks like software is now meant for entertainment and distraction instead of doing actual work where you need precise data and information.
Luckily if everything goes good I can retire soon and throw everything away for a while.3 -
Once upon a time i had a great idea.
Because i couldnt be bothered to do anything productive i created a simple app in the C# that would look into every .js file (from a game that uses it for the gui/main menu) and search for "//todo" lines.
I did it mostly for kicks. I got that idea when i encountered one //todo in a file when i was trying to mod that game.
Yes i know grep exists: fuck you.
It would have taken me more time to learn that than to write that 20 line program...
The result? Over 30 lines of //todo with some briliant pearls in the type of:
>Temp workaround because X
>Workaround for race condition
>Clean that up
>Obsolete
When i return home i will post real quotes. They might be amusing to read...
The game is based on a custom C++ engine. HTML, CSS and JS is used for main menu and some graphical interface in game.
The most amusing thing is that this inefficient sack of chicken shit is powering one of the biggest (no playerbase but unit, world, gameplay vise) rts that i have ever played.
But still in spite of a dead community, buggy gui as shit and other problems i love this game and a lot of other people love it too. It is a great game when it works correctly.
To the interested: JS portion uses jquerry and knockout lib.14 -
quotes of best times
"You would never have a bug if you don't write a code"
"Your code could never crash if you don't run it"
"Your program can never fail if you don't test it"
"Your startup could never be unsuccessful if you don't deploy"4 -
“The question of whether a computer can think is no more interesting than the question of whether a submarine can swim.” (Edsger W. Dijkstra)
-
I never liked YAML. But lately, I'm starting to dislike it more and more.
I mean, wtf is that?
- digest YAML input -- a valid YAML
- digest JSON input -- a valid YAML
A language that embeds another language.
Can it be any more confusing..?
Sure it can. the
```
script:
- echo "John said: hello there"
```
will fail YAML linter, because, even though I used quotes, yaml sees `echo "John said` as an object key
I think I'm yet to find more nonsense with YAML. And eventually, I'll grow to hate it.8 -
During my first project in one of the SQLite statements I didn’t realize that it needed single quotes since I was new to it. So I brushed that off but when working on the next function for the program 8 hours were dedicated to debugging to only realize that the error was caused because I forgot the fucking single quotes. FUCK
-
Ugh, since I bought a few domain names, and thus my contact details are public (grrr), I get stupid quotes from people around the world going like: "Hey! I'm a web dev specialised in [insert technology here], I want money! Contact me!", or "Hi, I am [redacted], we are a talented agency in [cuntry] and can offer you the best in web development blablabla".
The only help I need is "fuck off".
It feels like I'm taking a dump in a public toilet and people knock on the door willing to help me clean my ass for me.2 -
I have a demo meeting tmr but the web app written by the junior dev is in crap state. Forget about new features and bug fixes, I probably won't even be able to correct and clear all the spaghetti codes. So instead of working on it, I am trying to encourage myself by creating quotes images.
-
Create DB connection file in every other place and writing password in all those connection files. 😒👿
Then using grep and sed like a pro to change passwords in one go. 🤷
Scratching their heads as to why the script says DB connection error.... After an hour or so; finding out that the password contains '@' sign it was under double quotes. 🤦 -
“Computer programming is like the ability or skill to see what Picasso saw from all the different angles at once” - Erik Naggum
-
Sherlock Holmes' "It's never twins" translated for programmers is "It's never a bug in the language"2
-
/me joining a new front-end project with enforced prettier rules to complete the build pipeline.
No double-quotes ! Single-quotes all the way !
- weird flex, but OK. I'll comply
No CRLF ! LF only !
- Ok, now you're starting to annoy me. With git autocrlf I can have my precious CR locally bu check in only LF and YOU CAN GIVE THE FUCK ABOUT WHAT LINE ENDINGS I USE LOCALLY WHEN EVERYTHING WILL BE CORRECT WHEN PUSHING COMMITS!
No semi-colons !
- Now I hate you18 -
How my day started yesterday.
Luckily It fixed itself, but i was starting my day thinking I should just rewrite a function that wasn’t working so I could test some stuff but instead just decided to debug and thankfully I did that because the error was being caused by a lack of quotes and when I saw that I changed it.
It worked flawlessly and it’s my first project to use SQLite so I stood up and walked around because I was just so amazed because it was working how I planned and how I intended.
That feeling that you get from a project that works how you wanted it to is unbeatable
-
Ah I love that movie.. Hero, from 2002. I've seen it in the cinema three times. It's a real marvel, especially the scene where the forest turns red right after Snow killed Moon.
I also like how the quotes are adaptable:
Martial arts and programming are quite different, but they are based on the same principle: striving for highest perfection.
The essence of programming reveals itself through study and meditation.
(The latter one is also one of my favourite lines at work when being asked how come I know some esoteric stuff: it revealed itself through study and meditation.)5 -
Personal favorite quotes from my cubemate...
- JIRA, God of Blunder!!
- trickle-down badge-o-nomics: when I have to ask someone else to lend me their badge because someone else borrowed mine
- Haskell users can kick a motherfunctor right in the monads
- You can't put monads in Go because they try to prefix everything with go-
- Always use live rounds when troubleshooting -- never blanks
- Equifax's Apache wasn't patchy enough
- I saw the last episode of the first season of The Last Kingdom
- You gnow it's good cause it's GNU1 -
Hello guys, I need your help.
Recently we purchased new property for our company. And we are about to start working there in few days.
And now we are searching quotes to stick on wall there.
Can you guys help me with this?
Please suggest me some quotes.16 -
(Part 1/2?)
Ohhh my god am I furious and this one's a gem.
Also I'm gonna namespoil all of the entities in my post. If this is against rant rules I'll reframe it.
So the story starts over an year ago. Me, being in a bad place, where I couldn't do a job due to external issues, wanted to try out an internship. Thought I could pull off a 5 hour shift and then attend to my problems.
THE INTERNSHALA ARC:
I apply to a bunch of applications on Angel, Internshala and Indeed.
I was contacted by a few handful of these places. One of them was called "ARCHITECTA SOFTWARE SOLUTIONS". These guys had arranged an online aptitude test for me which I promptly took.
I looked up this company and they seemed like a pretty okay big firm from the outset but didn't have many reviews on Glassdoor and likes of such. (first red flag). Post aptitude test, I was quite sure I fucked up and wouldn't get further contact. Surprisingly, a person from the company sends me his Whatsapp number over chat and asks me to save it. The message is worded like a bulk email (Starting with Hello everyone!!) which I thought was quite odd since the interaction from these platforms has always been a person-to-person contact for me. Since Internshala showed that only around 40 people applied for the position I was quite intrigued but attributed this to my lack of exp in internship operations.
THE WHATSAPP ARC:
I was contacted by the number on WhatsApp saying that they'd be interested in moving forward and I gave them my work experience details.
The person sends me over a development assignment to complete within a few days. The assignment consists of massive scope of details. I'm talking production level concept and implementation. Asks to me implement a custom emotion detection CV model (worded as "emotion camera" lmao), generate a 3d model (specified nowhere and expects to implement a mono-ocular system for the curious) and deploy it over AWS with a website to go along with it and also host that. The website should contain a VR ("360 rotatable") view that can explore the depth-map ("not worded as depth-map") of the face. My first assumption was that they had picked this work up for outsourcing and didn't bother to chip off parts so as to create an assignment out of it (I know very optimistic).
So I shoot it at him on WhatsApp asking which parts of the assignment should I do?
Him: So, which parts CAN you do?
I thought of it as an HR thing.
Me: I could do most of it but given the time-frame of the assignment and my applied position as a web developer it is perhaps out of scope for my application.
Him: Don't worry about the assignment. You can submit when you complete the whole assignment.
I was visibly angry over the stupidity of this man.
Me: This task is a Full-Stack + CV + VR task. It will take over two months to get working. Am I supposed to work on it for that long for an assignment?
Him: Okay just do the basic functionalities like add to cart. But also try to do the camera thing before next week.
At this point I'm sure that they are having trouble handling an eager client and they're offloading work to interns. So I do only the backend and minimal frontend and submit the assignment (a 2 day job done over a weekend).
Nothing. Empty. No messages since then. I tried sending in a Whatsapp message on the application and how to proceed. Then, if I could get to know if I have been rejected. Nothing.
And all this time I can clearly see the account is active as it pushes pretentious motivational quotes over it's Whatsapp status.3 -
Tired of all those timetables, application, motivational quotes ...
Coded my own assistant : Robo1100
Still full of ifs but properly understands what I mean (I don't have s very wild vocabulary )
Can I call it artificial intelligence?
Some of his features:
- determining current tasks according to date and time
- tracks the task and show you how many percent you've done
- plays different musics according to your mood (if you start nagging he'll play motivational rock and so on)
- does simple calculations for you
-gives you simple informations like time , whether,...
- remind you the events of the day
- reads a rsnfom cool quote at startup
- most importantly speaks with s human voice
-...
Any recommendations?7 -
Mac text substitution is coming to Chrome 77!
https://bugs.chromium.org/p/...
...and it's a TERRIBLE BLOODY IDEA. Any Chrome Mac users visiting any sites that display code will likely be shown the substituted crap, unless they've picked up on it and modified their site in time.
Seriously, take these cutsie "oohhhh, I want my ellipsis to display as a *proper* ellipsis character" mindsets and shove them where the sun don't shine. By all means provide the functionality as opt-in via a CSS declaration or whatever, but don't just assume your love of bloody "smart quotes" trumps everyone else's ability to see the *actual content* on the site.
Grumbly grumble old fart grumble.2 -
Feature request: copy text on double tap or hold on Android. Wanted to save a few quotes, but not as a screenshot... Just an idea :)3
-
TIL
Normalization of deviance—the idea that over time we can become so accustomed to things being wrong that we start to accept them as being normal and not a problem.
#StandForWhatYouBelieve2 -
Does anyone else get annoyed when your outside of a editor and you press the apostrophe/quote or parenthesis key only to outputs a single character and not a pair?
Drives me insane1 -
Prettier formatter, AirBnB linter.
Prettier defaults to double quotes for strings. AirBnB loves it some single quotes. Would probably be able to change the configuration in order to maintain sanity *now*, but when I was a newbie dev, I was given a repo with AirBnB linting built in after being recommended Prettier.
It was not fun times.4 -
Have some downtime today, so since I lucked out and found some old backups (from before I used Git) of a project I was planning on revisiting, I decided to fire it up and see what I can do to get that going again.
And discovering just how much my coding style has changed since then...
[Code is in PHP, for reference]
* Virtually no documentation (whereas my current style is near-obsessive with PHPdoc blocks)
* Where comments exist, they only use // and are a full tab after the end of the line
* All assignment operators are dutifully aligned on tabs
* Have to update the entire codebase because it relies on deprecated `mysql_*` calls
* Have to flip all of the quotes throughout the codebase because I used double-quotes as my primary at the time instead of single quotes.
* Also relied on magic quotes for injecting variable content into strings
* Associative array practices varied; sometimes the names are encased in double quotes, but I just hit a block where it's all leaving it to the compiler to interpret unquoted string literals
And perhaps the most egregious so far...
* Any time we get database results back the process for cycling through them is to do `$count = mysql_num_rows($result);` (or $count2, etc.), then do a `for ($i = 0; $i < $count; $i++)` (again, or $j, $k, etc.), instead of just a simple `while ($data = $result->fetch_assoc())`2 -
I want you to make that dream become a reality, because if you don't, you will be working for somebody else to make their dreams become a reality.
Listen to me, if it was easy, everybody would do it. There are people right now who are working who don't want to work. There are people who hate their jobs, but they keep getting up to do it.
I'm here to tell you, number one, that most of you say you wanna be successful but you don't want it bad, you just kinda want it. You don't want it badder than you wanna party. You don't want it as much as you wanna be cool.
So what I'm telling you is, when you want something bad you can't count the cost. Because if you count the cost and you see how much it costs. You might quit, you might give up. So you gotta go in knowing that I don't count the cost.
You just do whatever it takes, to get whatever you want! Boom! 👊 😎 👍3 -
Lot of Crashes, alpha release.
*Wild PM appears*
Summons team and Quotes, "Is there a way we can avoid crashes before it happens in code??"
3 -
I hate quotes/estimates so damn much
Quote too high and we don't win the work
Quote too low and I screw myself/other devs over
And then there's the fact that most initial quotes for an entire project are based off nothing but a few marketing slides from the potential client; we do re-estimate after winning the work and nailing down what the client actually wants, but obviously it can't be too far from the initial quote
And then there are other people on the company (not devs, obviously) who like to casually expand the scope without checking how much time it'll add4 -
I am going to go freelance (starting a company and will be my own first employee) at the end of the month.
Was wondering what software some of you, who are also freelancers, are using to manage everything.
Quotes, invoices, jobcards, etc.
The bank through which I will be registering the company appears to offer some sort of online service for that purpose, but I have not seen it yet.
Any assistance will be greatly appreciated.5 -
beware of font choices in chat apps; a coworker joked in the room that "well, sure, of course it's okay to update in production in the middle of the day" and for some reason, the other coworker didn't see the quotes because of the weird font they use, and also didn't stop to think, and went ahead and ran the deployment script. In production. In the middle of the day. With active users.
The good news is that those folks who logged back in got to use the new version a whole lot earlier than anyone was expecting. :\2 -
Week 1 Day 5 - Week 2 Day 5
"It does not matter how slowly you go as long as you do not stop" - Confucius
He had a lot of great quotes but I think that's one every dev who's ever worked on a personal project can get behind. It's been about a week since my last rant so I've got a lot to cover, I got a little busy so my progress has been lacking but I have two days off coming up and I plan on making all my meals ahead of time and turning my phone off to limit distractions.
So far I've worked my way through the first lesion on layouts and getting/editing views by the id. This seems pretty basic once you get comfortable with the topic. I'd like to think this will become second nature once I start to get into the guts of the course. The second lesson started working with internet connectivity and I've just started working through it. A lot doesn't make sense but at the start of the lesson one nothing made sense so I assume it'll all wrap up nicely.
I wanted to publish this two days ago (January 23) but I closed my laptop and forgot all about the rant so now it's two days later and I've made some progress, things are getting easier to understand and I'm liking it. I've also decided to start making something I've always wanted to while I work on android development. I'm going to start making an RPG I've been working on since my sophomore year of high school. I haven't written any code for my game yet but I've got the world development and story air tight. So as an ending statement, I'd like to ask anyone on devRant with game making experience how I should go about structuring my project, and some of the things that aren't going to be easy to find with google searches. I plan on, to the dismay of many other game dev's I've talked to, write it in Java because it's familiar to me and I would probably make a worse game in C++ even though that is the go to language. I'd also like to thank some of you repeat readers for silently encouraging me to keep going just by ++ing my rants every time, JoshBent and Dfox. It's been really nice seeing names pop up every single time.1 -
Customer: "no obligation quote: upgrading 20 pc from ME to XP."
Sales dept.: "what? Lol?" *incredibly expensive ME to Windows 10 upgrade service quote*
Customer: *accepted*1 -
People are usually better known for something special in their social circles, like a habit, or something they like, or a phrase they often use, like their catchphrase...
As a developer, do you think you have like a code leitmotif? A singular habit or a certain algorithm you like to use?
For example, I'm very mad about string quotes, so I tend to use strictly ' unless it's better / necessary to use ", ` or something else.9 -
Best/Worst dev experience 2017:
Well I started my DevRant-Stats site and got my RandomQuote bot up and running again (although the quotes aren't as good as before)
I also started a little company with my friend and made some sites for clients.
I reached #13 on Sololearn in Austria! Kinda proud of it.
I learned Lua and Ruby which are one my favorite languages now!
And as always I started some side projects that I've never finished...
Don't remember everything I experienced in 2017 but these are some I won't forget.2 -
"Be Curious, Read Widely, Try New Things. I think a lot of what people call Intelligence boils down to curiosity." - Aaron Swartz
-
What are your favourite made up quotes?
"There are no wolves inside of me, I would take my time to slowly murder them." ~Liam Neeson5 -
Coding on a German keyboard suddenly gives you a reason to like those indentation-based languages without curly braces. And what about backticks and single quotes, they're for sure easier to find on an American ASCII keyboard. Fücking ümläüt chäräctersß!
Even worse on a Mac where it's not even printed on the keys what they do when holding shift, alt, or apple/clover/cringle keys.
24 -
Estimates.. First, part of the team makes "high-level" estimates which are based on informal, incomplete, still-evolving specs and an unstable back-end. The project people report the estimates to the client and elevate the status of these inaccurate estimates to that of commitments.
Then, before the "sprint", we review our initial estimates *ahum commitments* in greater (technical) detail. Because there are still a lot of unknowns, we tend to estimate more buffer here (back-end is often not ready, always ping-pong between project people and dev-team about unclear specs, more work than originally expected, and often late modifications to the original spec).
When an estimate becomes more than 50% extra time at the "refinement", we are told: "sorry, we gotta do it in less" and when it doesn't work out, we're kindly asked to spend part of our weekend catching up at 100% pay rate (legally it's 150-200%).
FUCK THIS SHIT
*quotes used abundantly because these terms belong to "agile/scrum" terminology but we're only pretending -
It drives me crazy when there are unclosed parens or quotes anywhere.
Is it too much to ask for people to run their Facebook posts through a compiler first? -
How the fuck do you escape single quotes in a formatted string in python? Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck F.....i want to break something
7 -
I just had my first "technical" interview with a CDO of a digital marketing startup currently employing ~50 people. The quotes come from the fact that he basically didn't ask me a single question - he basically spent 30 minutes talking about their tools, how everything works etc. I asked a metric shitton of questions, but I don't know how this whole situation could give any assessment of my position as a junior frontend web dev. I'm confused as balls.7
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When the client complains that there is no way to save a draft eForm to "the cloud". yes they actually put quotes around "the cloud". Our service is not cloud hosted in any shape or form, its installed directly to the clients onsite server. what cloud are they expecting us to save it to??!!2
-
While everyone is hating proper programming languages... Let's talk about quotes in batch files.
What the actual fuck did Bill smoke while developing this boolshit?2 -
\ /
__ __
/ | | \
/__o| |__o
^
~
Now I know :
Hacker wallpaper , motivational quotes, drinking dark coffee, listening to metal music, wearing black hoodies and other stuff like this ...
WON'T MAKE ME ANYTHING !
I feel like a dummy :/8 -
"Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic." – Arthur C. Clarke
(especially to non-tech people)3 -
Just firing up a new war which will be just as important in a few decades (if not today already) like Vim&Emacs.
So: Do you use 'string' or "string" in languages like JS, Python, ...?
8 -
I was on a 3 hour flight back home, guy next to me ask what I'm working on, I say it's a personal project. Somehow we get on the topic of "I wanna make an app which shows inspirational quotes on the screen whenever someone turns on the screen".
Also, he wants to make it for the iPhone.
Shortly after, I told him the flight was giving me a headache and it would be better if I slept the rest of the flight.1 -
Dear Python linters, why can't any of you implement some actual linting features? Like, say, consistent use of single or double quotes? Or dict() vs {}? How about indenting nested function calls? Forcing list / set / dict literals as multiline? Trailing commas?
And while I'm at it, why can't you handle dependencies properly? Say, separating linter & linter plugins from the remaining dependencies in a way where I don't have to manually remove them from the requirements lockfile every time?3 -
Learning Java for the new position I start in a lil over a week. Biggest struggle migrating from PHP is wrapping strings in quotes ONLY...no apostrophes lol. I guess I formed a bad habit. Also slightly frustrating is that you can't overload a method and set defaults. I guess you get that with Kotlin but this company is going to switch away from Java to GoLang and React, so I guess I won't really get to enjoy Kotlin.
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Doing someone else's Code Review in my project: "You must retain the holiness and piety of the code you write by following PascalCase naming for files and kebab-case naming for CSS variables. Avoid using duplicate strings by declaring enums in a constants.ts file and using that all throughout the app"
During my own Code Review in someone else's project: "WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN I CANNOT PASS FUNCTION REFERENCES AS PROPS TO A REACT COMPONENT AND ALWAYS NEED TO INVOKE IT INSIDE AN INLINE FUNCTION FOR THE PROP."
"WHAT KINDA FKIN DRUGS ARE YOU ON TO USE snake_case IN TYPESCRIPT DID YOUR MOM DROP YOU ON YOUR HEAD WHEN YOU WERE BORN YOU SACRILEGIOUS PIECE OF SHIT"
"WHAT DO YOU MEAN I SHOULD USE BOTH SINGLE AND DOUBLE QUOTES FOR IMPORTS AS PER LOCAL OR GLOBAL; I'LL SHOVE THE SINGLE QUOTE UP YOU WHERE THE SUN DOESN'T SHINE YOU FKIN DEGENERATE MORON"
As much as I do believe in self righteousness of my own coding conventions over others (I might be slightly better than others but I really can't claim good authority because I've had my lapses in conventions too; and being one of the newer members of the team certainly doesn't help, despite my boss supporting my initiative), I guess it is high time we bring in some already established code conventions in the team that is finally big enough to warrant them. Maybe AirBnB. -
Tech Twitter is a fucking joke, unless you're a somewhat accomplished programmer, wrote something interesting / useful, or at the least have contributed anything meaningful that isn't just a repository with Markdown documents in then I don't want to see your fucking stupid inspirational quotes or words of encouragement with thousands of damn retweets. The circle jerk is frankly just unbearable.
There are plenty of developers that you can learn a lot from and that's great, and I don't want to put new developers down, but you're really not in any position to be giving advice or motivational monologues, you're still new, or worse yet, you've literally just started. Behave yourself.
I'm convinced they're all just LARPers who jerk each other off and shut people down when they have "naughty" opinions. They spend more time writing articles about HTML tags or some aspect of JavaScript you can just get from MDN and get a million fucking applause for it. Maybe you'd be a better programmer if you actually did some programming.
Okay I'm done8 -
Instead of adopting the ` character to represent multi-line string literals like JavaScript, Swift opts for three consecutive double-quotes. """ smh4
-
My favorite xkcd quotes (order is not significant )
1. _*It's the world's tiniest open-source violin.*_
2. ...too honest. Scale it back.
3. I'd like to bestow upon you the first annual AWARD of EXCELLENCE in BEING VERY SMART. May you continue to grace our internet with your wisdom.
4. wait, what?
5. Yeah, uh ... I accidentally took the Fourier transform of my cat ...
6. Okay, we _suck_ at this.
7. You either need more medication or less. Not sure which.
8. I THINK EVERYONE INVOLVED HERE IS CUTE
9. World's Greatest Daughter
10. People who open bananas for the other end
11. Just for the sake of the argument, we should get a boat! You can invite the Devil, too, if you want.
12. This explain a lot.
13. My bag is 90% backup batteries.
14. Well- will you be my "it's complicated" on facebook?
15. Oh God. Gotta get out. The window.
16. Sweet! I finally got my subduction license!
17. I'll tell you later - you wouldn't appreciate the punchline over this 12kbps cell phone codec.
18. RON PAUL evolves into TRON PAUL
19. Just talk to them like a f***ing human being
20. In ordering #5, self-driving cars will happily drive you around, but if you tell them to drive to a car dealership, they just lock the doors and politely ask how long humans take to starve to death.
21. I eat my body weight in food every 31 days. That's slightly faster than the human average.
22. Nice try, Mike. Get out of the well.
23. Apollo retroreflectors
24. Can't see space vampires
25. My class on screenshots was a big hit, although for some reason I only ever sold one copy of the digital textbook.
26. WHAT.
27. Introducing The xkcd Phone 6, VIII, 10, X, 26, and 1876. We didn't start this nonconsecutive version number war, but we will not lose it.
28. My morality has evaporated over the harsh UV light.
29. Come on. Somewhere at the edge of the bell curve is the girl for me.
30. P.P.S. I can kill you with my brain.
31. Time to accelerate this giant machine up to terrifying speeds and steer it using my hands, which I am allowed to do because I took a 20-minute test in high school!
32. My normal approach is useless here
33. Wake up, sheeple!
34. Sir- strategic command has send us a lunch order.
35. Yeah, but first I'm gonna go comatose for a few hours, hallucinate vividly, and maybe suffer amnesia about the whole experience.
36. HOLY S***. Guys- people are complicated!
37. OH GOD- SPIDERS
38. Perhaps you need a crash course in taking hints. Here's your first lesson: We're not actually walking somewhere together; I'm trying to leave this conversation and you're following me.
39. How did the pole vaulters get up to our balcony?
40. Friggin' Python
41. I am the goddamn *Michael Jordan* of blurring the line between metaphor and reality. [tosses a basketball] -
Today I tried to call a Python module I developed from PostGreSql. Well after a whole day spent on that, fuck you PSQL!
-
AWS Contractor
I've been putting a web application together that I'm looking to have published on AWS. Not having too much experience with AWS, I am looking to hire a contractor. I've had a number of quotes from different AWS admin's ranging from $40 an hour to $200 an hour, from 1-days worth of work to 2-months worth of work!
I'm not really sure what to make of it or to whom to trust. I believe they’re using my ignorance to overcharge me. I've listed my requirements below, could you guys use your professional experiences to let me know what you think is reasonable charge and where best I could find someone to help me.
My application is a US shopping website where people can set up an online shop and upload their products and maintain an inventory of the items.
This is what I’m looking for setup and configuration with the following two areas:
1) AWS SYSTEMS…
* AIM - Set up my server admin users.
* EC2 - Web Hosting.
* RDS - Fast DB.
* SES - To send emails.
* S3 Buckets - Uploaded image hosting.
Route 53 - I don’t know but someone said I should have this.
* Elastic Load Balancing - For, well, load balancing.
2) SCRIPTS…
* A script that would back up the database once a day and save it to a private S3 Bucket.
* A script that will run once a day that calls an internal API, and POST a query to it.
* A script that runs once every 90 days, to refresh the SSL using ZeroSSL.com
Is there anything that I've missed such as security systems, firewalls, auto scaling and CDNs?
The quotes that I've received arranged from $320 to $64,000. I know I am being abused because of my ignorance. I would never overcharge someone because the customer doesn't know the efforts of the work. I hope someone here can help to understand the efforts needed and can tell me the true cost.
Thank you6 -
QUOTES QUOTES QUOTES!
I need funny coder quotes for the office wall. If you have any you would like to share stick them in the comments, once my wall is done I'll upload a picture.2 -
How the hell does anybody follow the amount of brackets, quotes, single quotes and ` these things in MYSQL, I'm getting a hernia thinking about it.4
-
So, my experience is all with relational DBs (mssql) mainly and this job is the first time I've had to deal with mongodb.
I'm using the default compass client and I'm struggling with just how shit it is.
- A default font size of 5px high which resets every time it starts.
- Total lack of keyboard shortcuts.
- Inconsistent expansion& folding behaviours
- No saving of aggregates/queries if you accidentally click on another collection.
- ittle bitty query window which is actually multi line but with no scrollbar...
The list goes on.
And mongodb, whoever thought JavaScript is an appropriate query language... It's not.
It's probably because I don't have enough experience with it but the mix of quotes and $ seems so random...11 -
“A computer language is not just a way of getting a computer to perform operations but rather that it is a novel formal medium for expressing ideas about methodology. Thus, programs must be written for people to read, and only incidentally for machines [including the human] to execute.” (The Structure and Interpretation of a Computer Programs, 1985)
“If you try to make something beautiful, it is often ugly. If you try to make something useful, it is often beautiful.” -Mr. OSCAR WILDE -
I always think about this while starting a project...it justifies both my winning and losing
"We are each gifted in a unique and important way. It is our privilege and our adventure to discover our own special light."
--Mary Dunbar -
"If you need motivating words, don't do it!"
It means that,
"If you are discouraged by someone telling you not do it, then you weren't probably meant to do it in the first place."17 -
I don’t know about you but I use backticks for every string in js. I want to know that I can always use quotes and apostrophes and backticks ensure this. Also they allow templates and Babel got me covered when it comes to old browsers.
I don’t see the reason why should I use something but backticks in 2020
Again,
` — kiki
“, ‘ — boubas18 -
Does anyone else have fortune set up to run every time you open a new terminal?
And people ask why I'm almost always smiling at my computer
2 -
Just found out what deadlocked processes are and it really has a lot of potential for teenage instagram sentimental quotes.
"Two processes that are kept on wait indefinitely because the only thing that could end the wait is an action by one of them" with some pretentious looking font and a picture of like, a rose in black and white or some shit is Instagram gold -
Recently, Apple rolled out Push Notifications for PWA websites as a beta feature on iOS 16.4 devices. And let me tell you, it's a game-changer! But, when a client asked me to implement push notifications for their iOS users via web and service worker, I knew it wouldn't be a walk in the park.
Why, you ask? Well, their backend code base was written in Plain F*cking Vanilla PHP, which felt like I had time-traveled back to the 1980s! Plus, since the ios web push feature is still in its early stages, there were hardly any resources to guide me through the process of sending push notifications to Apple WebPush API using plain php.
Despite the obstacles, I managed to successfully send notifications to Mozilla and Google Chrome users. But Safari? Not so much. The client needed the task done within 24 hours, but due to delays, it ended up taking me three days to figure out the kinks. In the end, I had to refund the client, but I'm not one to give up easily.
In fact, I've created a public GitHub repo for a Quotes App in Flutter (https://github.com/GiddyNaya/...) that can send PN to iOS users via web. I'm diving down the rabbit hole to figure out how to make it work seamlessly, and I won't stop until I've cracked the code. Wish me luck!15 -
What programming language should I use on a Raspberry Pi 3 to implement a Graphical User Interface for a kiosk where people can get insurance quotes by providing info and uploading documents? Much help will be appreciated.10
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I love deadlines.
I love the whooshing noise they make as they go by.
--- Douglas Adams
Work in the team goes
Whoosh whoosh whoosh
Whoosh whoosh whoosh
Work in the teams goes
whoosh whoosh whoosh
Although the sprint
-- me
Reference
Rhyme - wheels on the bus goes
Quote - https://goodreads.com/author/... -
Wait, I HAVE to use double quotes when referring to RiotJS tags within JS, otherwise the in-browser compiler just spits out errors? FU
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Me: I found the problem. The function call is being given a reference to an undefined variable as an argument. The quotes around that argument were accidentally omitted; it's supposed to be a string.
A "Senior" Developer: No, that wouldn't cause it break.
Me: 😐3 -
If you don't react to this post
You may not be as Swift as I thought
But flutter wherever you like
It's not like I don't c where's that would be
C it's a plus plus situation.
Git it in your head
You should checkout your master now
who knows what sin you committed.2 -
Greetings everyone!
Kindly have a look into the project and drop your feedback on the same.
https://github.com/shravan20/...
Project Name: github-readme-quotes
Project Description: A Github Dynamic Quote Generator to beautify your GitHub Profile README.
Features:
1. Layout Available
2. Animations Available
3. Themes Available
4. New Quote Generated on every hit.
Hit star 🌟 if you like it.
Feel free to contribute.10 -
Quotes typed in Outlook are not the same as quotes typed in Visual Studio, or SSMS. Just so you don't spend hours trying to figure out WTF is wrong with you code, only to face palm.1
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Are these things always clear to everyone else? I completely just come to a screeching halt with this type of thing. Are there brackets? are there quotes? Everyone writes these fill in the __________ type commands differently - and half the time I interpret them incorrectly. (or it's misleading / however you want to think about it)
3 -
Over the years I've written in C, Java, .NET, SQL, php and JS. Past year has been exclusively JS. Had to pick up some C# a couple of days ago and DAMN!! Forgot everything!! Putting single quotes for strings and using === everywhere!! Am I just getting old or do others struggle to switch back to a language that's not their primary one any more?1
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Why the fuck does the Execute Process Task from SSIS in Visual Studio fail when trying to use variables in an expression?!?
I've been debugging this shit for hours and have made absolutely no progress. There's no apparent workaround.
Fuck you Microsoft, for leaving a known bug in VS for over a decade, where the expressions are surrounded in double quotes, negating the entire purpose of using an expression for variables!!! 😡2 -
Don you hate when someone from {gender}coders or any other group post photos to all social media channels "coding", inspiration quotes for that specific {gender} , and what not, they even posted their github .. but then .. see pic.
And all you see in their github are exercises from courses and books, nothing else.
15 -
as my first rant here I thought i'd start with one of my favorite relevant quotes:
"If only it weren't for the people, the goddamned people, always getting tangled up in the machinery. If it weren't for them, earth would be an engineer's paradise."
-Kurt Vonnegut, "Player Piano"1 -
“Remember, code is your house, and you have to live in it.” - Michael Feathers
https://goodreads.com/quotes/... -
Just these little things that can drive you insane: TCP should guarantee that the order of packages is preserved, but somehow through a splitting of the message I get them files mangled. OK, might be our own fault, but then I just do a simple grep on the log file, but it won't display anything if I escape the f** dot.
Google it. No I didn't do it wrong, try different quotes. Nothing. Why then does it display the thing if I delete the dot?
Beginning to question my sanity. Grep just. has. to. work.
And that very moment the blinds of the window automatically go up, so the blazing sun blinds us, which as management told us, is not a bug but a feature, protection from freezing bla bla - and the control of the blinds gives me static shocks but refuses to shut them down again.. *sigh*
Just these little things. - Don't know, but I am convinced at the right time, a little mispunctuation or a glitch in a UI could drive a programmer mad. -
For progress and success all you have to do is be the right person in the... holy shit, I missed it! Damn lag!
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Who the fuck puts the dynamic title of a blog post into the href attribute without escaping double quotes and shit? AARRRRGH
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