Friend: OMG are you hacking ?

[sudo apt-get update] running

Me: Yes. I am.

Website design philosophies:

Apple: "...and a really big picture there, and a really big picture there, and a really big picture there, and..."

Microsoft: "border-radius:0 !important;"

Google: "EVERYTHING MOVES!!! And most websites get material design. Most."

Amazon: "We're slowly moving away from 2009"

Wix: "How can we further increase load times?"

Literally any download site: "Click here! No, click here! Nononono!! Click here!!..."

Facebook: "We can't change anything because our main age demographic is around 55"

University websites: "That information isn't hard enough to find yet. Decrease the search accuracy and increase broken links."

My last night:
- Had nothing much to work on.
- Opened a porn site to spend sometime.
- Clicked on some really good video.
- Realized full screen isn't working on the page.
- Fired up JS console, spent the next 30 minutes trying to get the video part full screen. Failed!
- Opened up Google & navigated through stackoverflow looking for the fix. Still couldn't do it.
- Cursed the website for having a bad design.
- Left the site.

Bad UI = No Fuck.

Me : Let's just use CDN.
Former boss (fb) : What's that?
Me : You fetch JS and CSS files online. Faster.
Fb: No! Download it!
Me: Why?
Fb: What if there's no internet?!
Me: ... it's a website...

Expectation: arrive at work, everyone in awe of devrant swag, social status++

Reality: arrive at work, prod failing, get blamed, employment status--

True story

If you had
one language
One framework
To code everything you want
Would you learn it or let it pass

His code is heavy,
arms are weak,
mind is bending.
It's all spaghetti.
He is nervous but looks calm and ready
to go now
but he keeps on forgetting
what he wrote down.
The manager is getting loud
He moves his mouse but the bugs won't got out
They are features now
Time to ship
Over blaow!

Got a job with EA
Went down like this during the interview

Hiring Manager: your second part of your resume seems to be missing?
Me: second part is $20
Hiring Manager: Welcome on board

When you pour coffee into this, it instantly freezes

got it somewhere on the net

True dat

Wise words to live by...

Recursion is great...

@dfox This is how it looks on web links with style tags..

"I wrote the code, I have to maintain the code, I wont need any comments"

*some months later*

wtf?!?! now it's going to rain ELEPHANTS? ??

Yep lol

Started with C, then C++...forgot some C. Then on to java forgot some C++, then on to Objective-C, learned some swift...forgot some Objective-C...do you see the pattern. 😎

This is one of my favorite quotes when it comes to programming. So many developer are too eager to start coding instead of spending a bit more time on thinking.

Worst part about being a dev is figuring out good variable names and function names.

Who wants one?

My little daughter attached it on my laptop :-)

When did “responsive“ web design become synonymous with “huge f*cking images, big ass captions and needing to scroll vertically forever“?!

Although sites like that may look good on tiny mobile screens, on desktop screens they are just freaking me out. I am not blind, nor am I too stupid a visitor to handle denser paragraphs of text in a more sophisticated kind of layout! Geez...

I've been doing agile wrong my entire life

The relentless feeling that slowly has over taken my waking life. The feeling that if I am not coding, learning or becoming better at coding I am wasting my time. I can't even watch movies anymore without reading articles. This is the worst thing about being a Dev, how when you are a dev you are nothing else.

At least for me, not sure how common this feeling is.

Hey everyone - please help get devRant on stage at the TNW Momentum Conference that we will have a booth at!

We need your votes which you can place here: http://thenextweb.com/scale/vote/...

If you're going to be at the conference, please stop by as we'd like to meet any devRant community members that are there :)

Thank you and please let me know if you have any questions. We appreciate the help!

Edit: if you want to track our competition/where we stand, the leaderboard is here: http://thenextweb.com/scale/vote

Took an interview today.

Me - What do you think JavaScript is interpreted or compiled.

Guy(5+ years of UI exp) - It's neither of them. It just runs on browser.

At that moment I slowly started fading away into a black hole for the absolute peace and embrace death.

I have the best gf in the world.
She tries to understand what I spend so many hours working on, even though she has little interest in it. She is seriously patient with me and lets me do my thing just because she knows it makes me happy.

How I feel at Christmas time when visiting family and everybody swarms me to set up/fix their new gadgets 😁

True story....