Recently made an account on Instagram.
Uploaded two pics
Deleted both of them
Now I've -2 posts

Burned it 🔥

Me: *puts small piece of tape over webcam*

NSA: Okay guys, shut it all down. No way we can record from the microphone, log keys, access the file system, USB devices, network data or watch the screen. He did the tape.

Excuse me boss!

During increment time
Boss : There are 50 bricks on an Plane. If u drop 1 outside. How many
are left?

Employee : That's easy, 49.

Boss : What are the three steps to put an elephant into a fridge?

Employee : Open the fridge. Put the elephant in. Close the fridge

Boss : What are the four steps to put a deer into the fridge?

Employee : Open the fridge. Take the elephant out. Put the deer in. Close the fridge.

Boss : It's lion's birthday, all animals are there except one, why?

Employee : Because the deer is in the fridge.

Boss : How does an old woman cross a swamp filled with crocodiles?

Employee : She crosses it because the crocodiles are at the lion's birthday

Boss : Last question. In the end the old lady still died. Why?

Employee : Er....I guess she drowned....err...

Boss : No! She was hit by the brick fallen from the Plane that's the problem, you are not focused on your job....You may leave now!!!

Moral: If your boss has decided to screw u, no matter How much u prepare u will be screwed.

UI design gone wrong

- Knock, knock

- An async function

- Who's there?

Something is incorrect.

Grab some popcorn

When someone uses a *switch* statement with only 2 cases

Most coder relationship status,
mine too.

Distraction..........hmmm..........What is that?..........I'm sure I've heard that somewhere..........well..........Let me Google it!

And here we go again..........

It's not a bug. It's a feature!! 😂

When the customer says that he knows how to write the code.
(BTW it's real)

all the damn time

Google please

Because,
Things in motion tends to stay in motion, while things at rest tends to stay at rest.

Martin Ruter King jr. makes powerful speeches.

Schrödinger's cat walks into a bar and doesn't walk into a bar.

"I don't need a separate drive for backups"

Chat with user:
Me: Hi, how can i help you today?
User: IT please come to my place i don't have internet connection and i need to finish my work, please please come quickly
Me: Are you in your computer?
User: Yeah.
Me: Amm, and how are you chatting with me?

When you want to work but your cow wants to play! 🐮😂

But that is my email....

" I can't wait to install that Java update" - said No One Ever

My git password is only muscle memory at this point.

If I accidentally try to think about what I'm typing I end locking myself out for the rest of the day.

If you're wondering why your Mac is slow as sh*t, be advised that it's playing Chess during it's free time.

True ?

"Python is such a hard language. It has so many rules" - Undergraduate Student who sent out mass email to the class

*Professor makes the next assignment in ARM Assembly*

#Which party are you?
- [ ] Republican Party
- [ ] Democratic Party
- [x] LAN Party

Note to myself : Searching "String LaTeX" on google might give you something quite different from what you expected

Yep, that is so me!