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My girlfriend knows what a coder needs when it’s their birthday. Lucky to have her. Walked into my room and it was set up like this.
51 -
Her: you're a coder right?
Me: I prefer programmer, yeah why?
Her: I accidentally switched my phone to another language and I...
/(ò.ó)┛彡┻━┻9 -
Once upon a time, there was a coder named Dude. He started working at a company that told him they were innovative and that their code was glorious. This was a lie. He murdered everyone.
The End.7 -
When you are a coder and still go to school...
FAQ:
1. Can you hack?
2. Did you already hack the NSA?
3. Did you ever enter the darknet?19 -
when you had to maintain some stranger's shitty codebase, and you couldn't resist looking up his name on LinkedIn, then you found his profile which says he is a Rockstar coder
8 -
Guess who just pushed a whole week's work straight into production without a single damn test and everything works fine?😎😎😎19
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1.) Please make WordPress die();
2.) Please prevent recruiters from getting my contact info.
3.) Please ban all "coder meme/joke" sites from instagram. They repost long dead jokes and the jokes don't even make sense if you know how to code.8 -
My non coder friend thinks typing a 1000 line document and coding 1000 line software/app are perfectly equal things and deserves equal salary.20
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If you couldn't work any more as a coder / programmer / hacker / it-master-guru, what would your profession be?
Like, not your ideal profession, but the most likely thing that you would end up doing outside of the dev world.33 -
Today I'm gonna try to do a few push ups or sit ups every time my code fails to compile. Do you think I'm gonna be a better coder or a body builder at the end of the day?6
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How people see me:
Father: computer nerd (he's a coder too)
Mother: website maker and computer nerd
Brother#1: some computer wizard
Brother#2: noob web coder (he codes as well, but systems programming) - thanks bro!
Colleagues: The ALIEN™
Girlfriend: 404 not found
Friends: The NERD™
Dog: some hooman spending lots of time behind those lighty rectangles
Fyi, I am passionate about computers in all domains and always helped debugging people
My solution to not being overwhelmed with futile demands? Talking to them in complicated words, so they will only ask questions about true problems and not garbage :D3 -
This moment when everyone assumes you know how to use EVERY device just because you are a coder...5
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Mom: Go outside a play.
Me: One I finish a couple more lines..
Mom: Get your #ss of the damn computer and go outside! BTW, I'm a 11 year old coder/programmer if you were wondering..13 -
User:
I wish I could build an app like XYZ that is so cool.🥺🥺
XYZ Developer:
I wish I could build an SDK like Agora.io that is so cool.😣😣
Developer at Agora.io:
I wish I could build CDN like Akamai. That is so cool.🤔🤔
Developer at Akamai:
I wish I could have layed Internet as a concept. That is so cool.😢
Conclusion: Don't disparage yourself as a Developer. Sometimes, we should Appreciate what we have build rather than what we wish to build.
Be proud of the Product "X" you are building.
Just look around, you will find a person wishing to build a product like "X".🤗
#developer #motivation #developers #agora #motivation9 -
I started reading the book "The clean coder" by Robert Martin and now I feel depressed.
So many of the things that he qualifies as unprofessional have I done :'(11 -
Found this in a legacy codebase at work. Can't imagine what the coder was thinking. "Just in case"?
5 -
beginner coder: figures out how to write a feature
average coder: knows a few different ways to write a feature. but not quite sure on which one to use.
master coder: meditates before starting a project. closes his eyes to map out the entire infrastructure of the project.
god coder: gets paid ALOT of money to guide people on the right to do it.2 -
Wannabe college coder starter pack:
1) SUN Certified JAVA Programmer
2) W3Schools Certificate
3) I know all computer languages
4) I'm going to Join Google by the end of college.11 -
Who all are genius hear ???
Share you !best experiences in comments
(if you understood and have any lol😂😂😂😜😜)
#LinuxLove
9 -
I'm fixing bugs.
I'm creating new bugs.
I'm simultaneously fixing bugs and creating bugs.
I'm Schrodinger's coder.3 -
Stop teaching assembly first. It may be the underlying language, but your average coder never needs this confusing mess.12
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Choose one language that will stay and be used universally by every coder, and the others will vanish
I choose Python, what about you?45 -
Programming has really taught me the art of anger suppression. You just can't be a coder and ill-tempered at the same time
5 -
I can't get a job because I don't have experience because I can't get a job because I don't have experience because I can't get a job because THEY WANNA HIRE A JUNIOR ROCKSTAR CODER WITH 10 YEARS EXPERIENCE IN ANGULAR9
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Got this SendGrid Hacktoberfest tshirt a week ago, but forgot to post it here!
The design is so coder-ish!
11 -
I purchased the worst keyboard ever for coding
Please help , suggest me some good keyboards( mechanical) for typing/coding
Also as a coder will you pefer the cherry mx red for coding?
Share your experiences
40 -
Anyone else find the eat sleep code hacker / soylent chugging caffeine energized all nighter coder beast idea immature? I run into people who think that those ideals are what makes a good engineer and it irks me. Maybe I'm just too judging.6
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Bob Martin. His books Clean Code and the Clean Coder, and all his talks on architecture, SOLID and TDD. I could listen to him talk for days, and he taught me everything i know about writing clean code.2
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when your boss doesn't understand anything you do and introduces you to people as "magic coder"...actually I think I prefer that.2
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Ironic.... doing a bit of late night comics reading and see this...
Exactly what I was feeling a few days ago....
http://commitstrip.com/en/2018/...
5 -
C# FTW! New features for C#7.0:
blogs.msdn.microsoft.com/dotnet/2016/08/24/whats-new-in-csharp-7-0/
tuples, pattern matching, local functions *coder-gasm*6 -
- Learn any language beside the ones I use at work
- Have a beta of a game I've been thinking about for some time
- Find a coder friend
I would be happy by just accomplishing one of them ;_;4 -
Hello, I can code a "hello world program" in Java, Python,C,C++,C#,Ruby,nodejs and in HTML do I qualify to be here?5
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That moment when you are a new coder,ask a question on StackOverFlow,get -3 rep and you can't ask a new question for 2 days
6 -
My colleague is what you would call a cowboy coder. He solves problems with really complex solutions that only he understands and does not seem to care about that the team doesn't understand it. He's super fast and very skilled, but it leaves the rest of the team hanging. He sometimes works at his spare time so things we worked on the previous day can be totally changed the next day without any notice. He has also removed code written by someone else because he did not like it, in secret. I found this while browsing through commits that were committed directly to master without a PR.
We have tried talking to me about this but it doesn't seem to work. He seems to value speed over anything else and doesn't seem to have any respect for other team member's opinions.
What the hell do I do? Has anyone else worked with a similar typed person? He's really making my life hard and I think it's very frustrating. Please help.13 -
One sentence to fail almost any coder or related job interview:
"my code is so good, sometimes even I can't comprehend it." -
after coding for 4 hour you find a class that can do the same task in 5 min .You dought yourself if you are a good coder6
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Muggles...
My piano teacher met a fellow coder in Berlin. He tried to explain my teacher what his job is. But my teacher didn't get it xD4 -
“I suck as a coder. I have no business writing a single function. None of what I’m doing is working. I should be fired and nobody should ever hire me again.”
*Remembers to clear caches and it works right the first time*
“I’m a pretty great coder.” -
Coder life pro tip : do not open terminal in public. As people may think you are a terrorist trying to hack the airport. 👍4
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It seems like everybody here was born as a legendary coder or started in their teens. I'm 24 now and just starting out.
How did you guys do it???44 -
Any other noob coder here trying to gain the mindset of the pros, enjoy the environment although he doesn't get half the jokes and rants, and trying to fake it till he make it? (:^/)17
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Long story shot,
I was the coder of a time machine and a bug took me 10 minute to the past. 10 minutes later I got to the same bug and got teleported again. This continued a while. I woke up later.4 -
Cause day and night
The lonely coder seems to free his mind at night
He's all alone through the day and night
The lonely coder seems to free his mind at night (at, at, at night) -
At the first company I worked for out of college, the CEO was a bit like a child. Whenever he came up with a new feature he wanted to add to the product, it had to be done asap otherwise we were going to "miss the boat." Every single time.
So rewind to a few years ago. It's a normal day at work and then suddenly my team lead and the CEO call my team into the conference room. The CEO starts telling us about this industry conference (we were in online dating) that was happening and this flashy new company dating company was going to be showing off this awesome search feature.
Naturally, our CEO concocted a Hail Mary plan of how our company was going to upstage this company and get all of the press to write about us instead. Basically, the "plan" was for us to build a brand new search feature of our own, in the week before the conference, and then he stated that the press would "have to write about us because ours will be better."
Everyone on my team knew it was ridiculous but we were pretty young and naive so we busted our asses to get this search feature out the door in the short week. The Friday before we stayed until like 2 AM. It was a little bit fun because the people on my team were cool, but the whole situation was absurd and no one, except the CEO, thought this had any chance of working.
Annnnddd in the end we didn't get an ounce of press, the search feature was pulled from our site, and the "awesome" company that we were so worried about getting all the press is out of business. But hey, we did get it done!1 -
Confession: every now and then a Google search for a JS function or something directs me to W3schools. And I proceed to use it. And I'm not afraid to admit this!!7
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You're a great coder only if you can deliberately write bad code that works but no one can understand.
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Programming commandment: Thou shall not commit code snippet copied from StackOverflow without adding a comment to help future coder brethren!
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Go for a job as an developer. Tell them I'm not UX/UI I'm more engineer / coder... "We understand, that's what we want"... Complete the coding project.... "Sorry it's not very pretty, and a bit off on the iPhone screen..." - fuck you.1
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What’s the difference between a coder, programmer, developer and a software engineer? I see many people who attend a 2 month coding bootcamp where they learn html, css, javascript and put software engineer in their title9
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Hanging up your girlfriends call when suddenly sn algo strikes ur head... thats when you are a certified coder3
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Sublime Text is a great editor but the fact that active development on it has seemed to come to a hault sucks.15
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Just started my first "management" role after 12 years as a developer, first thing I learnt is its just like my last role only I don't have to do any of the hard work.
Worried they'll figure out I'm doing almost nothing soon, any tips? Should I just start scheduling meetings to discuss meetings?4 -
I love to program — I discovered that about myself a few years ago. Beforehand, I only KNEW how to program. But then I discovered the power programming gives you to create things, and even help your surroundings. So now, I can surely say, that I love programming. Heck, I am even dating a very talented programmer.
But despite all the pleasure I derive from it, I feel lonely sometimes. True, there are millions of programmers all over the world. I also know I am not the only one who prefers coding over going to the movies, taking a walk, eating or sleeping.
Why do I feel this way?
My loneliness is a gendered loneliness, as there are not many women in my field. For sure, there are women who study computer science in high school or at the university, and some even work as programmers. But they are very, very few!
I often underestimate my abilities and feel intimated for no apparent reason
#random thoughts6 -
"So, coder huh. What languages do you use? HTML, CSS, JavaScript? That type of stuff?"
"No. I use React. You see... with hooks... "
"Well, can you change some of the CSS on my website for me?"
"Is it React?"6 -
After a long day of coding and finishing a project it feels nice to go to the beach and surf. Oh yes!2
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I always get a kick out of it when I get to read a hilarious email that was sent in to customer service about our product where the customer is so pissed that they curse everyone out and then they call out the programmers too. "You should fire all your programmers too, they suuckk!!!"1
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John Cena : You can't see me !
A frustrated coder : No problem , I'll Java you. I'll Java you until I make sure you are portable , WWE-oriented and ofc .. visible . Say hi to Nikki .
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I named an alias variable feedItem in my database query but I keep accidentally typing feetItem. I have no one to blame but myself.1
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That one day when the only thing you are doing is fixing other people's code to start working on yours 🙄🙄1
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I have a coder friend...
Here's a translated conversation. (read original one followed)
She: Watcha doin?
Me: Foolishness.
She: Means what are you making?
Me: A fool.
Original--
She: Kya kar rahe ho?
Me: Chutiyapa
She: Matlab kya bana rahe ho?
Me: Chutiya :/8 -
do not use the word coder please.
if you write code, you're a programmer. if you call yourself a coder, you're either a sixth grader who just learned about the terminal, or an idiot.14 -
My Dev hero is without a doubt Robert C Martin (Uncle Bob). His books clean code and the cleans coder changed the way I program and his work on TDD too6
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Windows user(non-coder): Linux? The boring dull look, which does nothing!
Me: why do you use Windows?
User: looks amazing, and specially for games:)
Me: yeah, Somebody who was in love with Linux created that damn game!7 -
A coder and a non-coder were travelling on a boat together. Due to some reason there was a hole in that boat and it started to drown. Non-coder survived but coder didn't. Why? Coder thought it was just another loop hole which he could fix using his laptop. So much for his confidence!3
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$test = TRUE;
$baby = TRUE;
$egg = 1
$sperm = 1;
if ($test != 'TRUE') {
print "No Baby.";
} else {
foreach($eggs as $egg)
{
$baby = count($egg + $sperm);
return $baby;
printf("Congratulations");
}
}10 -
That feeling when you're finally done with a pretty big PR and ready to go live. You excitedly send it out to a few of your peers, and then... 20 comments! The real work has just begun 😭1
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Pretending to work while sleeping by scrolling his mouse up and down, sitting upright and eyes closed.2
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Just want to put it out there.. Please dont degrade yourself by calling yourself a coder ...
https://harishtheblogger.wordpress.com/...12 -
I hate when coder use WordPress eben if web-development is not their mainstream for their blogs . I would rather anytime learn the whole website building stuff rather than using WordPress8
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Watch Awesome Videos & news regarding new Technologies.. Then that coder within you automatically comes out
-
Beginner coder. We all have our own relative difficulties (lol my problems sound like simple addition compared to y’all); these are the thoughts from a cs student @ university5
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When your colleague always tells you how he thinks about you as a coder, and you don't care about feelings because you are a Dev and need to code like a fucking machine.6
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Do you think one may become a good programmer or coder without excellent knowledge of mathematics or algorithms?5
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I have always made a distinction between a coder/programmer and a developer.
Do you think there is a difference?
If so: how?7 -
There was that „very heavy knowledge“ (that was his self proclamation) visual basic coder (vb6 that was) who always started with „on error resume next“... it was the only glue to let his programm „work“...
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So I was hired as a Graphic Designer. Now I'm tasked with the new job title of Graphic Designer/Web Coder/IT/Warehouse Inventory Inspector/Intern/Secretary. I have no idea what I'm doing anymore...2
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"Whenever there is a decline in quality of code and rise of bugs and errors oh dear coder, I manifest to show the path of bug and error free coding" said code-god
- Chapter 1 Verse 1, Code Gita -
Light Ide:- GRHH!! M hurt! M hurt! My life is nothing...M a noob...
Dark ide:- woaahh!! Pleasant! M a pro coder
3 -
I don't know why... But I cringe when somebody says "coding", "coder". Maybe it's because it's an Americanism...1
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I know I'm pretty late to the party, but I've been playing with Redis a lot lately and it's pretty awesome. Sorted sets and the various Z functions seem very powerful. I'm hoping to get to use it in a prod environment soon.2
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! Rant
Today I realized that someone can roughly determine whether or not a laptop belongs to a coder just by observing the keyboard carefully.
Just look at this " { " lkey on your keyboard.
Even the most used language maybe.4 -
Service status pages that poorly reflect actual service status are so annoying. Ex. GitHub is having a lot of latency issues with processing updates and like 5 people in my office noticed it while their status page still says everything is fine.
This isn't to explicitly call out GitHub since many service status pages behave like this, but it definitely shows a general weakness in these health checks. I've seen similar issues with tons of services, web hosts, etc. Monitoring is definitely hard but will hopefully keep getting better.1 -
Project manager: Hey tyga hows the project going?
Tyga the coder/rapper:bug city bitch, bug bug city bitch, 10, 10, 10, 20 errors on my terminal bitch1 -
Just in : Saw an HTML designer writing professional "coder" in his resumé. Can HTML(and CSS) designers be considered coders?6
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You are a coder as well as dota addict and you see a good game just posted on YouTube. You don't come back then
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What use is a frontend developer (having exclusively frontend development knowledge) that's not a designer / isn't good at design.
Sorry if I'm being harsh, but you're either a web developer, knowing how to build web apps (or websites, or whatever), or a UX developer or whatever, knowing how to do pretty (and usable and accessible and...) things. Or even both.
Lemme say it differently. You either come from a web design and build a frontend, or come from the development of an application (database, logic, architecture, APIs, etc., backend++) and build a frontend for it. Again, or both.
Not being able to design, and not being able to build a product, is just... nothing? You're in the middle.
Sorry, but I don't think you're a developer. Maybe a coder.11 -
What it feels like when you tell a newbie coder about reflection and all the stuff you can do with it.
3 -
Just read Uncle Bobs book series:
Working with Legacy Code,
Clean Coder,
Clean Code,
Clean Architecture
Read it in this exact order and each book was better than the one before.
What did you think of them and what other books do you recommend reading?
(Coding books of course)3 -
Am I the asshole?.
AITA for having a grin, when comes demo time and my stuff works flawlessly and every other monkey coder that I work with has his/her stuff pointed out as flawed for going all fast and furious?8 -
Don’t let anyone tell you what to do in your life. Be whatever you want to be.
...if you do decide to be a coder, remember no language is better than the other. No language is perfect. You’ll never be a perfect coder. You’ll always need to search for basic things.
If at any point of time you disagree with any of this, you’re on the wrong path.2 -
Automate this!
I'm an aspiring coder working some chappy administrator job just to pay the bills for now. My boss found out that I may actually be more computer literate than I let on.
Boss: "I want you to make X happen automatically if I click here on this spreadsheet"
Me "X!? That means processing data from 4 different spreadsheets that aren't consistently named and scraping comparison info from the fronted of the Web cms we're using"
Boss: "if you say so.. Can you do it?"
Me: "maybe.. Can I install python?"
Boss: "No..."
Me: "what about node.js or ruby?"
Boss: "no.. I don't know what you're talking about but you're not installing anything, just get it done"
Me: "Errm Ok.."
So here I am now, way over my head loving the fact that I'm unofficially a Dev and coding my first something in Powershell and vb that will be used in business :)
Sucks that I still have to keep my regular work on target whilst doing this though!2 -
QUOTES QUOTES QUOTES!
I need funny coder quotes for the office wall. If you have any you would like to share stick them in the comments, once my wall is done I'll upload a picture.2 -
My PM (who's not a coder) is trying Git
I could see that by the fortunatly inoffensive merges that appeared randomly.
That's still funny.
Now to teach him not to "Sync" everytime he wanna "Pull". -
Things that make up a coder: Knowledge of Programming language + PC/Laptop Coffee + Coffee + Coffee + Coffee + Coffee + Coffee + Coffee + Coffee + Coffee + Coffee and a little bit of Coffee.3
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Things that make up a coder: Knowledge of Programming language + PC/Laptop + Coffee + Coffee + Coffee + Coffee + Coffee + Coffee + Coffee + Coffee + Coffee + Coffee and a little bit of Coffee.2
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TSA questions for screening software engineers: Sunday an engineer from Nigeria got screened on if they were really a coder with googled questions like "write a function to check if a Binary Search Tree is balanced." What questions should they really be asking?7
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When a coder doesn’t get his morning coffee; don’t mess with him, even the codes don’t try to mess with them. In this programming jokes, relation between programmer and caffeine is explained.
if (coffee.Empty)
{
coffee.Refill();
}
else
{
coffee.Drink();
}
2 -
Im an android /java native coder
And a swift/xcode native coder
But I also expert in angular ...
Sooooooo ???
Shall I go android/kotlin+ios/swiftUI
Or ionic angular capacitor ?2 -
I don't think that "code" should be used as a verb. A programmer 'writes' code or 'programs' something. I'd rather not be called a "coder." Unless it's Halloween and I'm dressed up as a brogrammer.3
-
Been listening to this while coding lately:
https://youtube.com/watch/...
Make me feel like some super coder guy ... dude ... bro ... something.1 -
Everyone in my work thinks I'm an unexperienced coder. Rare they let me code.. usually I have to wait till the last hour of the day to do my own work.. :(1
-
Best C-Line Ever
#ifndef ULLI_DOESNT_KNOW
#define ULLI_DOESNT_KNOW
#endif
Says soo much about this honest coder :D -
Sometimes i need longer on the simple code than on the challanging code, because it's harder to distract me while i'm solving a problem
-
When the Verilog95 RTL coder tells you your debugger for object oriented SystemVerilog is primitive #stickuphisass
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Oh yeah! I am a struggling coder. I have a dream. I want to be a coder what if I am a software tester now. I will create my own softwares. The day I get my concepts right, you will see me scripting your story!
2 -
!Rant
I need your help gaiz. I need an idea for a project. I have to be tech specific here as I am currently learning ASP.Net from my college curriculum. Pls halp.
A coder in need is a coder indeed.12 -
Wondering want kind of music do y'all listen while coding , tired of the coder playlist on YouTube5
-
Looking for some cool coder/developer stickers .. any suggestions .. where I can get max options in min cost ?2
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Which organisation is good for machine learning for a moderate type coder in python for GSOC.
For selection in GSOC what should be my strategy. -
When the overseas coder decides to add an external jQuery resource when it's already included (and loaded) in Wordpress and proceeds to mix $ with jQuery calls online throughout the site....
-
I like to design websites from scratch , I know basic languages. (average coder) where do I start? Comment below.9
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