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I'm the biggest dumbass, the laziest procrastinator I know of..
Joined devRant in June 2017, got eligible for the stickers in a week's time, sent a mail requesting them, but never received it. Given the size of our community, I thought I'm way behind in the list and probably receive them in few months. After a year, I totally forgot about it.
But, the colossal stupid that I am, had also lost the key to my mailbox (the physical one). I never cared about the lost key, because who sends post these days !!!
When I finally got a duplicate key for my mailbox after 2 years, guess what I found.. a first class international mail from devRant which arrived on July 2017 🤦♂️🤦♂️🤦♂️, couple of weeks after I originally requested
But, yay... I finally got them..
19 -
I know someone from Uni who used a green text on red background IDE to make sure the colourblind person sat next to him couldn't copy his code...11
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When we finally get to Mars, all programmers on Earth will scream in pain over having to program another timezone15
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Boss called ! Said no need to come in today because it's friday and I worked hard this week... feeling like a boss. 💪4
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Friend : Queue is just 'Q' followed by 4 silent letter..
Me : they are not silent they are waiting for their turn...
☺☺☺8 -
When you are a coder and still go to school...
FAQ:
1. Can you hack?
2. Did you already hack the NSA?
3. Did you ever enter the darknet?19 -
Once upon a time there was a dev.
The dev had a resume that said he could dev.
We called the dev, he sounded intelligent.
We hired the dev, who was a bit green, on a three month probationary period.
The dev did very little.
When asked, we said he contributed to discussions, but seemed unclear about what to do, and maybe they could keep him as an intern if they wanted to have him at all.
They hired him. As a full time dev.
6 months later, that dev was shocked to find we could log into the servers with a privileged account.
We (his team mates) were sad.
We asked him to fix a few prod errors.
A little while later he said "Done!"
We then had to walk him through how to actually fix them, not just add a couple pieces of info to the table.
We were sad, again.
We asked him to fix some prod errors again.
We had to walk him through the process again
We expressed concerns to our superiors about his abilities because he was all theory, no hands on ability
They promoted him
We were sad
A few of us said "Fuck you guys, I'm going home"
They said OK
Now that guy is the only one that "knows" that code base
I get calls sometimes asking me questions.
I told them to pay me a consultant fee.
They said no
I said no
They called again
I laughed at them
Listen to the people who know when you ask them questions.
Listen to the people who know when they tell you there is a problem
Don't be like that company8 -
Request URL: /api/v1/user/53b49b5a30
Request Method: GET
Expected Response:
Status Code: 404 Not Found (as the user is actually not present in the DB)
Actual Response:
Status Code: 200 Ok
Response Content:
{
"status": "ERROR",
"errorCode": "404",
"errorMsg": "User Not Found. Please provide a valid user ID",
"type": "Error",
"userMsg": "User Not Found. Please provide a valid user ID"
}
#extremefacepalm19 -
When I hear sales guy using technical terms in the wrong context while doing his sales pitch to a client...
2 -
Today, I was telling a team member who joined recently to refer a GitHub repo, fork it and start working.
That person asks me, "Why GitHub, why should I access it etc". I blanked out after hearing the first question, so whatever said after that wasn't registered in my mind.
I asked that person "how did you do it in your previous org ?"
The response was, "we zip the code at end of everyday and store it as draft in our mailbox"
I stormed out of the workplace, even though it was just around mid of the day...11 -
Come on Mac... We already have industry legends like Windows updates, Gradle build etc.. you don't want to be part of that legend :(
8 -
Guess who just pushed a whole week's work straight into production without a single damn test and everything works fine?😎😎😎20
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Google just turned 18 years yesterday,cant believe i've been asking inappropriate questions to a minor for al those years
😆😅😂
6 -
This moment when everyone assumes you know how to use EVERY device just because you are a coder...6
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Mom: Go outside a play.
Me: One I finish a couple more lines..
Mom: Get your #ss of the damn computer and go outside! BTW, I'm a 11 year old coder/programmer if you were wondering..13 -
Client: We need video chatting facility in our website
Me: Ok. But it will take more time and effort. It will cost you more too!
Client: Don't build from scratch. We use Skype in our company. Just embed in our website too!
Me: **facepalm**5 -
Who all are genius hear ???
Share you !best experiences in comments
(if you understood and have any lol😂😂😂😜😜)
#LinuxLove
11 -
This “Caps lock is on” feature when typing in passwords was probably very angrily added by a developer after several failed log in attempts.11
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Wannabe college coder starter pack:
1) SUN Certified JAVA Programmer
2) W3Schools Certificate
3) I know all computer languages
4) I'm going to Join Google by the end of college.12 -
Why it is hard for general public to believe this is fake;
Nasa had performed an experiment in which they got this result an internal network 😂😂😂;
For God sake please don't try seeding torrents on NASA'S internal network 😂😂😂😂;
3 -
I was given a work to refactor one of my colleagues code and found that there was a variable named 'anal'. I was quite surprised seeing it as the colleague was a soft spoken and well behaved guy in office. After scratching my head for 15mins I came to know that he was storing analytics data in that variable. Hence the name! :-D9
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If your only experience is Uni, don't put skills down as 'Advanced' on your damn CV
Lower expectations, deliver results -
That feeling when you solve a problem that you thought is gonna take you days in 10 mins.... Still believe that it's a trap 😐4
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When I realized that my rant on wk60 had only one ++ and that one was by @dfox, I was glad that I'm not alone 😀2
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Got called up today by my org's cyber security team.
Reason: Installed a font called "Hack" (https://github.com/source-foundry/...)
🤦♂️🤦♂️🤦♂️🤦♂️🤦♂️1 -
Apple took a major step
3 party manufacturers created a hype and addressed this step as a problem
Then make products to solve the pseudo problems
Smart business idea 😂😂😂
Lol😂😂
11 -
How much am I addicted to devRant ?
To the extent of randomly browsing rants using https://www.devrant.io/rants/<some_number>/
Thinking to automate it, like keep refreshing browser tab every 30s with a different number !!!2 -
Money isn't everything.
When I graduated, I chose the job I have now because of the pay and benefits. A couple years into it, and I realize now what a mistake that was. After my first year teaching myself Apex and automating most of my team's work, I hardly spend any time as a developer because of the low number of jobs at the company that allow me to do that level of work within the first five years of employment. I've consistently asked my supervisor if I could move into a more technical space with proof of my work as reasoning to no avail. If your job pays a lot but isn't challenging, you can wind up being just as upset as if you had to work 60-70 hrs/week.8 -
If programmers became musicians we would see
- Wake me up when my build ends, 21 cores, Boulevard of broken CI pipelines by Blue Screen Day
- Smoke from my cabinet by Deep For-Loop
- This is how you debug me by Loopback
- Post-release rhapsody by debug queen
- Another bug in the code by Programmer Floyd
- Smells like bad code by Coders from Botswana
- A place for my code, Cure for the bug by Likin to code at dark
etc etc..5 -
Why doesn't companies give Alienware for devs instead of a Dell Latitude ???
They can at least provide 👽 backpack, if not the laptop itself ☹️
Respectfully excluding MacBook from this rant !!
#firstworldproblems16 -
I am so sick of the stupidity and illogical reasoning of clients.
Client: Descriptions are no longer syncing. Can you please fix.
Me: Problem fixed and deployed.
Client: All the descriptions got overwritten by the sync descriptions. Can you please have manual uploads overwrite the descriptions that sync (but basically auto guess what the client wants). We may need a toggle.
Me: Toggle added.
Client: Can you go through the 100+ sites backups and restore all the product descriptions?
It's like are you serious right now!!??
Back to the cheeseburger concept here...
Client: Can I have a cheeseburger (comes with pickles, onions, tomatoes, lettuce), no pickles. A Coke? Oh, but I would like pickles on my cheeseburger.
Tender: Here is your order.
Client: Why did you put pickles on this!!?? I asked for NO pickles!
Tender: You added pickles towards the end, so we put the pickles in.
Client: No! I thought you would have known based off of my original statement that I asked for a cheeseburger with no pickles. That is the override!
Narrator: See how illogical things can get. We can't just assume/guess based off of illogical reasoning.4 -
I have never doubted my abilities more, before this happened:
I got a Linux VM on Azure, downloaded apache httpd source which I proceeded to configure, make and install.
As expected, install failed with something related to apr and apr-util.
Searched several mailing lists, tried out several configure options, nothing worked..
After almost an hour, it stuck to me, all I had to do was "sudo yum install httpd" !!!
Disappointed that I missed something so simple, but when I did that, it came back with 'Nothing to do'...
Realized, httpd was pre-installed in that VM.. I just had to start the service !!!
:facepalm1 -
When I got my first PC the famous Pentium 1. It just hooked me. The struggle was real back then tho....
2 -
Moral of the day -
Thus spake the Master Programmer:
"When a program is being tested, it is too late to make design changes."
- The Tao of programming1 -
Finally, got this piece of beauty and badass combined, just to get some peace at work...
Now, dare those noisy neighbors, who doesn't silence their mobile and laptops, making loud chimes in IM, playing music on speakers and knocking at my desk when I'm on headphones and clearly don't want to be disturbed...
7 -
My colleague is what you would call a cowboy coder. He solves problems with really complex solutions that only he understands and does not seem to care about that the team doesn't understand it. He's super fast and very skilled, but it leaves the rest of the team hanging. He sometimes works at his spare time so things we worked on the previous day can be totally changed the next day without any notice. He has also removed code written by someone else because he did not like it, in secret. I found this while browsing through commits that were committed directly to master without a PR.
We have tried talking to me about this but it doesn't seem to work. He seems to value speed over anything else and doesn't seem to have any respect for other team member's opinions.
What the hell do I do? Has anyone else worked with a similar typed person? He's really making my life hard and I think it's very frustrating. Please help.13 -
!rant
I'm an idiot. I freely admit this. I spent a solid 3 hours on a new endpoint in a WCF service, only to have it looked upon and told to fix it. I knew that the service I was calling didn't work like that. I did, I knew it. I didn't think about it while coding the endpoint, but I knew it. At least the changes only needed to happen in one file, and only took about 25 minutes with tests and all. But damn it, I knew better. I looked at my buddy, straight in the eye, and told him "Told you I was an idiot." He laughed, I laughed, the table laughed, we killed the table. It was a great time!1 -
Hello, I can code a "hello world program" in Java, Python,C,C++,C#,Ruby,nodejs and in HTML do I qualify to be here?5
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dev: Can you add a master branch to the following Git repositories ? They are newly created and we don't see any branch.
me: Whaaattt are you asking ???
This is how the day started.
#quadruplefacepalm1 -
!rant
Just started working for a new company. Super cool. Just like the last one (as far as perks), except they actually trust their devs.
Old company: Make sure your code is extensible
Devs at old company: You know it's not written in stone right?
Old company: Does that mean you can make it do this?
Devs at old company: No. That's the wrong code base
New company: I need a feature. Get it done when you can
New company devs: Well, guess I'll take some time to refactor all this stuff while I'm at it
~Some time later~
New company: Thanks, that feature works great!
No staring over shoulders, asking when it will be done. No asking why we want to refactor something. As long as work continues to flow, there are no issues. It's great!
Also, if we want to try a new tech, we just have to put together a short paper explaining why it will work better in that situation than the tech that's already in place. -
Found this gem of a comment in a code base written 4 years back.
/*
Invoke <Service Base URL>/asset/v2/details/<SN> to get asset details
Feeling very bad to include this call, but we really need to use this !!!
This call is gonna take ~20s to respond. I've even increased the overall timeout of this module, just for this call !!!
So, if you are looking to debug any performance issue, I wish you jump directly here,
remove this call and just use master data management (MDM)
P.S: It is not that simple, as MDM and this asset DB (both asset masters) has differences in how the asset is defined :(
*/
Still trying to understand how to remove this costly time-consuming call and replace with an efficient one !!
And, of-course, the original author left 2 years back :(3 -
after coding for 4 hour you find a class that can do the same task in 5 min .You dought yourself if you are a good coder6
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Well, this is awkward!
(Had this notification pop up on my lock screen a few days back (OnePlus 5 user))
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I love reviewing code. I learned a better way to write something. That feeling of "hum, that's a lot better than what I have been doing" is great.1
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Programming commandment: Thou shall, from time to time look at your old code, introspect and improve!
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**My Resume** : Worked with JavaScript and .NET for the last 3 years ... have an Associates degree...more things
**Recruiter**
You look like you'd be a great fit for this position. We require a Bachelors degree, but we're willing to take 4 years progressive experience in lieu of each year of schooling.
**First**
4 YEARS of experience for EACH YEAR of school?
**Me**
I guess basic reading and math aren't required to be a job recruiter? Man...Only 5 more years and I'll be able to see how my skills as a developer with 8 years of professional experience will go over as an Entry level developer!1 -
When you push seemingly harmless untested code to production server which breaks the whole application...
2 -
Some mother fucker parked his car in my parking lot...and it's lying there for more than 2 weeks...10
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Look here sir. If I have raised 12 defects on the feature you were working on its not a personal attack... I am not trying to publicly humilate you or doubting your ninja coding skills. We are on the same team. Just trying to make a better product that's my job as qa. So chill out with passive aggressive comments on the tickets.
You don't hear me making a peep when you take my name and say I missed the issue if someone higher up points out the same defects.1 -
So I walked into a business the other day where they make flyers and business cards etc. Wanted something specific so went to what they call their "developers". So they have some kind of dodgy pdf editor open there and I know exactly what I want so I asked can you take a RGB color..... the reaction was glassy eyes. And after that the woman started to scream at me and telling me that I have no idea what it is like to be a "Developer". Ended up walking out and going to another place.....1
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Me to university: You taught us C++, java, DS Algo and PHP only right?
University: Yes
Me: So our college project must be around these only?
University: Yes... But No, here are your only options for our college project
1. MEAN/MERN Stack Website
2. Machine Learning
3. Data Science
4. IOT
5. Android App
Me: WTF?
6 -
Set my alarm 25 minutes earlier to check out this awesome thing called devRant. Before I start my day. 😎2
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This happened 3 years ago in my previous company. It was a small start up company and we worked on PHP stack. One of the its ex-founders had written Windows Mobile App which now had to be upgraded with new features. So we hired this new dot net guy. I always thought dot net guys were ELITE coders and was excited to see how they work.
While I played Xbox and had fun, our dot net guy stuck to his workstation furiously working. My boss who was casually strolling out of his office for a stretch saw dot net guy working hard and suggested we all developers should take him as an example.
20 days went by and each day the dot net guy did the same. He came, he silently worked on his workstation, he left in the evening. In those 20 days my boss asked twice to the dot net guy if he has finished features he was assigned but he said he did not. After a month when he said the same negative answer and had nothing to show for the work he has done he was fired.
I was so curious to see what code that ELITE coder had written for a month but could not deliver a feature(Maybe some error he could not fix?). So I open the code repo on which he worked and I see 30 commits from that guy to it. He had made a single commit each day(Fair enough he wants to commit everday before leaving). It was time to check his commit diffs to see his ELITE code. What do I find? In every fucking commit he either added a blank line to the DocBlock or removed the same. Nothing less nothing more! So much for the hyped not-so-ELITE dot net guy...1 -
Confession: every now and then a Google search for a JS function or something directs me to W3schools. And I proceed to use it. And I'm not afraid to admit this!!7
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At the first company I worked for out of college, the CEO was a bit like a child. Whenever he came up with a new feature he wanted to add to the product, it had to be done asap otherwise we were going to "miss the boat." Every single time.
So rewind to a few years ago. It's a normal day at work and then suddenly my team lead and the CEO call my team into the conference room. The CEO starts telling us about this industry conference (we were in online dating) that was happening and this flashy new company dating company was going to be showing off this awesome search feature.
Naturally, our CEO concocted a Hail Mary plan of how our company was going to upstage this company and get all of the press to write about us instead. Basically, the "plan" was for us to build a brand new search feature of our own, in the week before the conference, and then he stated that the press would "have to write about us because ours will be better."
Everyone on my team knew it was ridiculous but we were pretty young and naive so we busted our asses to get this search feature out the door in the short week. The Friday before we stayed until like 2 AM. It was a little bit fun because the people on my team were cool, but the whole situation was absurd and no one, except the CEO, thought this had any chance of working.
Annnnddd in the end we didn't get an ounce of press, the search feature was pulled from our site, and the "awesome" company that we were so worried about getting all the press is out of business. But hey, we did get it done!1 -
Programming commandment: Thou shall not commit code snippet copied from StackOverflow without adding a comment to help future coder brethren!
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Colleague: We need to deliver it today so let's hardcode some values in the code to make it work
Me: Ok you do it. I don't even want to see it!
3 -
Sublime Text is a great editor but the fact that active development on it has seemed to come to a hault sucks.15
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Developing a notification API, sends emails to subscribers, email API can take only 100 IDs at once, so partitioned the email list and send mails in blocks of 100.
Forgot to reset the list after every block, so each new partition got appended to the existing list and kept going on.
Ran it against a test DB, which was recently refreshed with near-prod data !!! Thousands of emails went out of the app server in one shot and everybody receiving numerous duplicate emails. Especially the ones in the very first partition.
Got an incident raised by the CEO himself reg the flurry of emails. But, things were out of our hands, quite literally. All emails are queued up in the exchange server.
Called up the exchange server team, purged the queued emails. No other emails were sent/received during this whole episode.
Thanks to Iterables.partition in the present day.3 -
Update on my previous rant -
Mac restart after upgrade got stuck due to a fucking corrupted kext file, had to switch between recovery and safe/verbose mode to isolate that bastard, move him out of the folder and then do a clean restart.. Then, after 7 hours, it said 15 minutes remaining to complete installation...
Finally, it came up fine, doing healthy :)
Dear Mac, You, Sir, gave me a scare during a restart and are becoming like Windows (note: bsod) :(
3 -
Programming commandment: Thou shall blame all bad code on thy comrade who has bequeathed your company!2
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I tried so hard and debugged so far
But in the end it didn't even matter
As I rewrote function call to loose it all!1 -
Software developers like to solve problems. If there are no problems available, they will create their own problems. It’s an addiction.
😊😊😊1 -
I named an alias variable feedItem in my database query but I keep accidentally typing feetItem. I have no one to blame but myself.1
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I always get a kick out of it when I get to read a hilarious email that was sent in to customer service about our product where the customer is so pissed that they curse everyone out and then they call out the programmers too. "You should fire all your programmers too, they suuckk!!!"1
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About a year ago, the organization I work for decided we don't really need team leads. We would be more self organizing if we didn't have technical leads. Now, one of those former leads who feels out of place can't get over it. She is constantly trying to add her two cents -- which is totally cool -- but in such a way as to make it sound/seem like we need to do what she says. Also, based on everything I've seen from her coding ability, I'm not sure how she ever became a tech lead. That's coming from me, and let me tell you, I feel SUPER junior sometimes. Like how the hell did they ever offer me a job junior. Well anyway, another dude was working with her the other day (we do pair programming) and snapped. He flipped out for like a solid 3 minutes on her. It was the most awkward thing I think I've ever experienced.3
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security fiasco due to a malicious npm package:
Because of a bitcoin miner present in event-stream npm module (https://bleepingcomputer.com/news/...), my entire team and I had to scan all our nodejs apps, repos and the most excruciating one, all node_modules folders across all our dev machines and servers, to see if event-stream and flatmap-stream is present, then not just delete it but update a bu**load of upstream dependencies which internally used event-stream. All due to one malicious package which was hidden several layers beneath.
And, this happened almost 8 months after the aforesaid vulnerability was first found.10 -
I'm in a situation here, I had an idea for an app and I started coding it. Since I'm a front end developer I find it not amusing to do the backend part. I then started to share the idea and such with good classmate (not a coder). I then made him join me on this adventure. After a lot of coding he said he wanted to contribute with something since I'm coding all day and he's not. Then we agreed freelancing the back end part.
Some time later we got a pretty good deal on some Indians doing the whole app. I thought to myself "this feels kinda good!" so we went on with the freelancer.
Days went to months and we finally got the app back. I did a mistake of paying him all the milestones without testing the app in its wholeness, later finding out that one part of the login system didn't work. That lead to a deeper debug to find out that the core function of the app was commented out.. I then wrote the freelancer back with minimal and slow response.
Now the deadline of the app is like in 2 months. If not we miss a whole year.
My classmate knows about this and he's the one who played for the freelancing. Now we have talked about me doing the whole backend myself.
The only issue I have now is that I feel like he's just sitting home doing nothing other than flashing money around and me busting my ass of writing code that I really am not good at. (basically learning more than coding)
But he played a lot of money for this.. So I feel kinda bad for him.
Rip life.17 -
Me: the web app is downloading a lot of static content while loading the page, leading to the app being very slow in low bandwidth locations. can you ensure compression is enabled while serving static files ?
UI Developer: sure, I'll look into that. Btw, I have a question reg that.
Me: yes, pls.
UI Developer: once the compressed static files are downloaded to the browser, should I write a separate module to uncompress them ?
Me: :-(Strategic Facepalm) -
A coder and a non-coder were travelling on a boat together. Due to some reason there was a hole in that boat and it started to drown. Non-coder survived but coder didn't. Why? Coder thought it was just another loop hole which he could fix using his laptop. So much for his confidence!3
-
$test = TRUE;
$baby = TRUE;
$egg = 1
$sperm = 1;
if ($test != 'TRUE') {
print "No Baby.";
} else {
foreach($eggs as $egg)
{
$baby = count($egg + $sperm);
return $baby;
printf("Congratulations");
}
}10 -
I don't know my problem is. I lost my motivation to code, my enthusiasm and excitement to read a code and solve a problem. My love of my life for 6 years whom I thought she's the one, gave up on us. It was a long journey, lots of ups and downs, but really worth the time and sacrifice. Now, she's doing good, very happy on her life judging from her social media. Can't believe she just moved for 2 months. To be honest, i want her to be happy but quite bitter that she just moved on quite fast. And I don't if this is the reason why I lost my motivation and enthusiasm to code. Or maybe I just don't like the project we're working on. Well, I really don't like it since it's a mobile game, I really want to build webapp or mobile app but it's too late to change the project.
I'm not like this, I used to code until morning without noticing the time, excited to solve a problem that stuck on me for quite a while. I really became a lazy person right now. I feel the pressure to finish the project but I don't see myself working on it, I don't feel interested reading a code. I just play computer games instead of working on my project during my free time. I don't know if I'm depressed. I socialized with people, have fun, happy when I'm with them, but when I'm alone, sadness starts to creep in. I feel like there's an empty void in myself. I don't know, i just want the motivation and energy to work on my project. Im tired, lazy, and feeling burnt out. If you read until this very last sentence, thank you and I'm sorry for reading this nonsense.5 -
Just want to put it out there.. Please dont degrade yourself by calling yourself a coder ...
https://harishtheblogger.wordpress.com/...12 -
F**king hate Windows for its insanely confusing proxy setup required for software development...
> Setup proxy in Windows network settings
> Then, setup HTTP_PROXY & HTTPS_PROXY environment variable at the system/user level.
> Followed by separate proxy settings for java, maven, docker, git, npm, bower, jspm, eclipse, VS Code, every damn IDE/Editor which downloads plugins...
> On top of everything, find out the domains which does not need to go through proxy and add them to NO_PROXY.. at each level..
> It does not end here. Sometimes, I need to setup proxy for SSH connections... like, if I have to use git with SSH and not HTTP/S... Uhhh....
More than half of the problems me and my dev team face is related to setting the right proxy. Why can't it be like, set in one place and everything picks up from there, like in any linux machine or for God's sake, a Mac ?
Worst of all is, my org uses a configuration script, which resolves into a list of proxy servers, from which one of them will be used. So, I need to download that script, find out which is the right proxy server and then, use it in all the aforesaid places... WTH ?????
Is this a common workplace problem for all developers ??? Will this be solved by Windows Subsystem for Linux ???9 -
Do you think one may become a good programmer or coder without excellent knowledge of mathematics or algorithms?6
-
Worst interview was when I attended interview for the position of PHP and the interviewer started grinding me with C++ questions starting with STLs. Could not answer most of them, interviewer said to get my act together and try again after 3 months. Nope not gonna happen!
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Fuck... This is not how I wanted my Saturday to go..
My Mac restart after update took more than an hour (check my previous rant), went into not responding mode, then got aborted, ultimately ending up with a corrupted disc. Now, not booting up at all...
Into recovery mode now and trying all other options..
Hope my time machine did a good job, else this is gonna be a heartbreaking day !!!2 -
I was an introvert while growing up hence I found interacting with non-living things easier. When I was 11 i.e. like 17 years I told my parents to enroll me into computer classes. They didn't see much of a future in it so they refused. I fought hard and finally they agreed. Hence started my journey with computers.
First week all students were allowed to explore the computer we were assigned and also were taught to play basic Windows 95 default games to make it interesting. It was all fun. Next week the teacher said he would be teaching us how to tell computer to do what we want i.e. programming. Hearing that I could make my computer do what I want excited me a lot. I felt I could finally communicate to a computer. This is how I learnt BASIC. I was so amazed I could do so many things like take input and do calculations etc. I decided I would do this kind of job in the future if it exists.
So now I am actually doing what I wanted to do when I started programming i.e. coding job!1 -
Did any of you hear Tim Cook's recent statement?
'Apple CEO Tim Cook says it is more important to learn how to code than it is to learn English as a second language.'
I mean, most of the code that I'd ever work on would be in English, no matter which country I'm living in. Most of the resources, documentation, tutorials are in English. Plus, if you think algorithmically, the logical code flow closely resembles constructs in English language. How could I possibly code without knowing English?
Go home Tim, you're drunk!
https://qz.com/1099791/...2 -
It's like everytime you tell your PM that you need to be left alone to code their projects, it goes in one ear and out the other. I usually ignore them when busy coding, but then they start to blow you up on all forms of communication. Where are you? Why aren't you answering me? It's because I am coding away on all of your projects. If we sit here for hours talking, nothing would get done! Like was it necessary to message and call me on several forms of communication??
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That feeling when you're finally done with a pretty big PR and ready to go live. You excitedly send it out to a few of your peers, and then... 20 comments! The real work has just begun 😭1
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When an intern gives me suggestions on technology stack to use for the new application I'm building...
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! Rant
Today I realized that someone can roughly determine whether or not a laptop belongs to a coder just by observing the keyboard carefully.
Just look at this " { " lkey on your keyboard.
Even the most used language maybe.4 -
So we have this team that deploys some code. We had a change in that code that "we" forgot about. Turns out, a dev on our team decided it would be cool to rename an endpoint. Why? Great question. Because. So this code gets deployed, but the call to that endpoint didn't get deployed. System 2 tries to call the endpoint, 404. We roll back, we're searching, after like an hour, we find it. We go to TFS to see who did it. The dev grabs my keyboard and starts checking diffs, somehow managing to skip their commit (from 5 months earlier). I take back my keyboard and *surprise* it was the commit that was skipped. WTF? Why did you rename that endpoint? What do you mean you didn't do it? It has your name right there!4
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I don't know why... But I cringe when somebody says "coding", "coder". Maybe it's because it's an Americanism...1
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While setting up a node app while sitting behind draconian proxies:
- first, set $http_proxy & $https_proxy
- set git proxy
- then, npm proxy, jspm proxy and bower proxy
- followed by strictSSL to false.....
After moving to home network/VPN, change all of these proxies again. It is a never ending vicious circle :(1 -
You know your day is gonna be bad when it's Monday and you are told to work on a badly written legacy flash application!
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Lost 3 earphones / headphones in one week...
Looking for a new one, over the ear headphone, which can come along with me for years...4 -
Getting a lot of headaches? Try replacing coffee/energy drinks with ice cold H2O first thing in the morning. It works after a week and it shocks your body into waking up faster.3
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Client: Can't you make the autoload column in wp_options 1/0 so it loads quicker?
Me: So you want me to redevelop WordPress? Or build you a custom platform?3 -
Ok so I studied Computer Science in college, even got my pretty little associate's degree saying I didn't eat shit.
Decided to work in ops and not as a dev because life finds a way
End up being asked to write code at work anyway because I know enough to not break everything1 -
Anyone just have like a weekend where they stay up really late doing nerdy things or work on their personal projects? I sometimes find myself on certain weekends that I just work on a bunch of personal code, websites, or even if it is changing my accounts around.5
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Scanner scanner = new Scanner(...);
Which is fine until you're in a corporation where the (many) classes are so detailed that each one is 30 chars long...5 -
!rant - developers figured out flipkart should focus web instead of mobile-only, before the company changed strategy ???
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"Whenever there is a decline in quality of code and rise of bugs and errors oh dear coder, I manifest to show the path of bug and error free coding" said code-god
- Chapter 1 Verse 1, Code Gita -
All I did was press Ctrl + Shift + O & Ctrl + Shift + F on the eclipse package manager, just before commit. It ended up changing 122 files with 12640 additions and 13916 deletions...
Somewhere within these files are my actual changes which need to be committed...
I am not leaving work at least for today !!!2 -
So made my PI a little torrent machine. So that my parents can watch the movies they want when they want.3
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This is how non devs imagine our devs. They tend to think a huge change is this quick. Meanwhile back at the ranch it will take a while and a lot more concentration.
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Service status pages that poorly reflect actual service status are so annoying. Ex. GitHub is having a lot of latency issues with processing updates and like 5 people in my office noticed it while their status page still says everything is fine.
This isn't to explicitly call out GitHub since many service status pages behave like this, but it definitely shows a general weakness in these health checks. I've seen similar issues with tons of services, web hosts, etc. Monitoring is definitely hard but will hopefully keep getting better.1 -
I know I'm pretty late to the party, but I've been playing with Redis a lot lately and it's pretty awesome. Sorted sets and the various Z functions seem very powerful. I'm hoping to get to use it in a prod environment soon.2
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Developers probably use yellow as the default color of emojis since it's the best balance between all the possible pigmentation of the human skin.5
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Haven't ranted about anything for quite a while... So, is everything perfect in my work and life ? Or, is something reallllly wrong that I haven't even realized what it is ??2
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Just in : Saw an HTML designer writing professional "coder" in his resumé. Can HTML(and CSS) designers be considered coders?6
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Having fun looking at android developer struggling to replicate 'str_split()' function from PHP in Java :-D3
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Best way to not get distracted by the one(s) sitting in nearby cubicle(s) and talking loudly on a multi-hour teleconference: HANS ZIMMER
P.S: Over-the-ear headphones & any of Hans soundtrack will work, esply Inception & Dark Knight !! -
The next major war seems more likely to be started by a bug in someone's code than an action taken by a world leader.1
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Received an email -
"Hi,
Wanted to connect with you as Mr. X suggested you can provide an architectural on the JIRA system."
How vague can things be? Lost as to what should be the appropriate response.4 -
Started a new job trying to get familiar with their development workflow and no one wants to help pretty frustrating I'm ready to walk out the door.
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- Eclipse (especially when plugged in with any SCM, excluding Che)
- RichFaces / PrimeFaces (from the pre SPA era)
- WebLogic (how many times do you need to be restarted in a day? )
- SOAP (not a dev technology, but even as a protocol. Thank You Microsoft !!!)
- Struts (what were you doing at the same time as Spring ??? )
- GWT (how did this even find its place inside Google? )
Need more time a deeper retrospective of each dev tech I've come across :( -
Anyone do any development in WordPress? It's like trying to override a bunch of plugins made by a bunch of developers.
Like the Unyson plugin puts a stupid non-removable notification to install a bunch of crap with a generic class name with !important.
So what did I do? I looked through the source code and found a non-used hook I can tap into and remove the message!5 -
analogy for overfitting :
cramming a math problem by heart even the digits of any problem for exam.
now if the exact same problem comes to exam i pass with full marks else if just the digits are changed however the concept is same and simce i mugged up it all rather than understanding it i fail. -
When a company tells you you're their top candidate, then reject you a week later because a mismatch in culture
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So I've been working with this company for a few years. Great company, really is, very few problems. Recently, the intern on my team was offered a full time position that he will be starting January 2020. More recently, I found out that his starting salary is going to be about $500 more than my current salary. I just got a raise about a month ago. How do I go about addressing this? I don't really wanna leave this company, but on the other hand, I would kind of like having four years at this company respected a bit. I've done good work, I've been loyal. Hell, that raise about a month ago was my second this year. Don't know what's next.2
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Didn't see this mentioned before. BeyondCompare is one I use everyday, but goes unnoticed in the fav software list.3
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Automate this!
I'm an aspiring coder working some chappy administrator job just to pay the bills for now. My boss found out that I may actually be more computer literate than I let on.
Boss: "I want you to make X happen automatically if I click here on this spreadsheet"
Me "X!? That means processing data from 4 different spreadsheets that aren't consistently named and scraping comparison info from the fronted of the Web cms we're using"
Boss: "if you say so.. Can you do it?"
Me: "maybe.. Can I install python?"
Boss: "No..."
Me: "what about node.js or ruby?"
Boss: "no.. I don't know what you're talking about but you're not installing anything, just get it done"
Me: "Errm Ok.."
So here I am now, way over my head loving the fact that I'm unofficially a Dev and coding my first something in Powershell and vb that will be used in business :)
Sucks that I still have to keep my regular work on target whilst doing this though!2 -
New to working with git in a large scale application. I've used it in personal things, but not at an enterprise scale.
"genius" me: git pull origin {{dev branch name}}
"genius" me: why won't any of these tests work?
"genius" me: spends 2 hours working on fixing some tests
actual genius that I work with: Dude, revert that shit and pull from master, the tests will work. Don't pull from {{dev branch name}} because you have no idead what might be there.
This makes sense. Things are started and abandoned in favor of new priorities all the time. At least my PM is pretty cool and didn't freak out that I wasted that couple of hours like at a previous position.
Also, git is far superior to mstfs. Very smooth and easy to use once you get the hang of it.5 -
Just read Uncle Bobs book series:
Working with Legacy Code,
Clean Coder,
Clean Code,
Clean Architecture
Read it in this exact order and each book was better than the one before.
What did you think of them and what other books do you recommend reading?
(Coding books of course)2 -
What all are the infrastructure related issues you face in your organization day to day?
Parking issues.
Unhygienic washrooms
Cooling / Blower
Internet connectivity
Coffee machine sucks
Broken/Uncomfortable chairs....
these all our mine :( , add yours :D3 -
!rant
Any links to start learning game server programming using C++? I know network programming using C# currently and built a game server emulator also. I want to start C++ network programming for windows now...8 -
Is the MySQL 5.6 deprecated? One of the colleague said but i could not find a date if it is. Even they GA 5.6.44 on 2019-04-25.11
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Why is Windows, Windows!
Does using Windows limit your creativity? Coz u r always inside the box ...2 -
That feeling when you know your project manager is going to ask for something that they said wouldn't be a thing...2
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So, we're preforming a re-write an application. It's on an application (actual mortgage application, not 'app') that has 4 different entry points. We have the most common entry point converted to our re-written application with plans to have the next couple done over the next several weeks. Yesterday, the old version broke. It was under the impression that it could grab any row that matched the borrower and then check against a hash of that data to see if it could proceed. It can't. You can't hash data set 1 and expect it to be the same as the hash for data set 2. Not a thing. When asked, the only answer we could give right away was "We'll fix it, give us a couple of minutes" and "Sorry, bad {{appName}} is bad. We don't know root cause yet. We'll let you know when we do." Was pulled aside by my manager and told my answer was unsatisfactory and I shouldn't give answers like that. I get it, "Bad {{appName}} is bad" isn't great, but it's not like we were going to give that and leave it! We needed some time!2
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Change the main backbone of an application (2 - 3 weeks) in order to facilitate the upgrade of the application from AngularJS to Angular (which they tell us is going to happen...eventually) or, rewrite the application (~4 months) in Angular. What arguments should we be using to get the rewrite? Our pleas are falling upon def ears.3
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Suddenly Programmer becoms Doctor so he said to patient :- Your x-Ray showed a broken rib,but we fixed it with photoshop3
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Microsoft Office Communicator (2007) is complete junk.
It can't even save a conversation session overnight -
I would have to say this online OCR software that I was forced into and expected to build for medical documents. The problem was the scanned documents were so unreadable, crooked, and in dot matrix style, so there was really no way to do this.4
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Life of an tech lead.
Hire a candidate with little to no experience in relevant technology - > train said resource - > resource becomes productive - > plan enhancements as work load can be shared. - > resource switches projects or firm - > goto step 1 and overtime to complete enhancements. FML3 -
- the 2 hr meeting called for every day of a week, to prepare for a PPT which is to be presented to a higher up exec within 5 mins.
- the sprint planning meeting, where all the stories of that sprint are already weighted and assigned to the devs, but it still goes for 2 hrs
- the backlog grooming meeting, where instead of looking at the sprint backlog, the current sprint is looked at and discussed. -
4 hours to a major release, decided to remove a web service from the app, instead do whatever that service was supposed to do in a DB query, as just realized that the foresaid service will be called only once to fix some data discrepancy !!!
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What the fuck is this version control thing? We managed to pass one fucking entire semester building an mobile game without knowing anything about version control. How my team finished the game? Fuck, we just place our source code and files into the folder, archive to rar and sent it through gmail. My desktop was a fucking mess, it was bunch of New Folder(x) all over the place. Fucking school didn't even taught or mentioned even once about that shit. In fact our faculties were all master degree holder. Our life could have been easier back then. So in this last school year, we gonna use that shit in our Capstone project.5
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Random LPT: Never carpool with strangers unless your life depends on it. Especially if one person creates a spreadsheet of the days he expects you to drive in June and it's May 5.
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Finally, after a long time and excuses....
updated my profile on job portals...
Ready to study ..... Best is waiting.... -
QUOTES QUOTES QUOTES!
I need funny coder quotes for the office wall. If you have any you would like to share stick them in the comments, once my wall is done I'll upload a picture.2 -
Le Angular programmer
Me: I need to add all these fields across this 30 page (seriously) questionnaire to the dataLayer for Google Analytics...I'll see if I can loop over all the controls and get the native element so that I can do things with it.
Also me: WTF do you mean I don't have access to the native element? Damn it! What does Google say?
**terrible french accent**
A few moments later
**end terrible french accent**
Me: I don't want to have to create a directive to put on every single one of these fields. That's dumb. Not gonna do it...bad vanilla JavaScript?
**terrible french accent**
Several minutes later
**end terrible french accent**
Me: Wait...if we use this directive then the directive can handle all the things AND we can use it outside of this questionnaire. The rest of the app can send this data so that Google Analytics can know all the things
Man Google..You sure do know what I want before I know what I want...Are you spying on me too?1 -
Rules and policies are just for discussions and arguments. When you really have a problem on production, all you need a solution without any law.
You are allowed to execute Alter, Restart Server, Deploy some hacks and many more :D -
Me: hey, I noticed we are doing this weird stuff in 'platform A' can we file a story to fix this.
Dev: It must be legacy code or library implementation before my time. By the way it's the same in platform B.
Me: yeah, we will need to fix that too.
Dev: tell you what. For now let's keep our platforms uniform we will fix it when platform B is fixed.
Welcome everyone... to the new chicken egg problem. Where even bugs are needed to be uniform across platforms.1 -
Why the hell do the Pixel 3 XL have a notch if it doesn't support Face unlock?
Meaning there could be other functions related but they are like face filters on snapchat and all. Face unlock is something would be used the most.
Really Google! U decided to keep the notch but no face unlock 🙄7 -
!rant
Going to install a Linux distro on my Mac for general dev antics (NodeJS & Java)...
But which one?12 -
I suck at data structures and algorithm, how can i be good at it? Or maybe i suck at programming in general, i don't know, 2 companies emailed me that I didn't pass their technical exam, I'm disappointed and thinking maybe software development is not for me.3
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Hi, I'm currently taking a software dev course and curious to try using linux for software development. There's tons of linux distros and my question is, what's the best or ideal linux distro for it?8
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Am I the only one that spends more time and puts in more effort towards my job...... than anything else in my life ??
Love my job more than anything3 -
Can we make a cluster which is moderately powerful using all free cloud computing services available online like Google Cloud Platform, AWS, Oracle cloud, Microsoft Azure etc.3
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The developer economics survey is back, if you didn't know already.
https://developereconomics.net//...2 -
Guys I am looking to get my "feet wet" in Android Apps. Can you maybe drop a comment on any suggestions... Like IDE to use or any advise you have thnx.8
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Ok, so i got an epic requirement from business.
Business wants to implement something like this. On a save click this popup should be opened with further 2 options "Save" and "Save As" having radio button in front of each button to enable and disable the buttons and input boxes and obviously error/success message should be
displayed according to the option selected.
Team denied to work on the requirement.
5 -
Sometimes i need longer on the simple code than on the challanging code, because it's harder to distract me while i'm solving a problem
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Irony - (noun) Switching to a new framework to do more with less code. Spending obscene amount of time and LOC to retrofit rest of the code to work with the said framework.
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Having a code-gasam over here because reuse in Angular > reuse in AngularJS(AJS). Throw in reactive forms instead of template driven forms in AJS and I'm done.
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Going forward everything will be built on js and we won't be carrying java anymore. Whether its UI thing or lambda functions on AWS. This is what the idea floating in my organization.
What are the thoughts here on restricting on a language?3 -
I need an advise for my capstone project. I'm planning to make an online booking system for a ferry company. Planning to make it for android and ios and maybe for web too. Did some research and found about ionic. Looks amazing but not sure if it's the right tech to use for my plan. Also about the payment gateway, I want the customers to pay on the app or the website directly without redirecting them to other website. Not really sure if I can use paypal with this, also i need the system to accept mastercard and visa.
I did the research, so please no hate, I'm not asking for the code. I just want to know the right tech to use. I'm just super confused and lost right now.8 -
#hindirant
Code aisa likho ki dusre ko hilana na pade
Translation :
Write code in such a way that other coder need not to change their code
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