Well here's how I see things going:

Intel and AMD ditch their assembly architectures for Scratch, because drag and drop is very popular lately.

The Boolean is renamed to the biggot by SJW leaders for only supporting binary views.

You must first ask consent to add an item to a linked list, because forcing two items together promotes rape culture.

Apple removes the "h" and "7" keys on all laptop models and gives no reason for their actions.

Linus Torvalds grows an extra middle finger, and it still isn't enough.

Nintendo makes Mario gay and Luigi black to be more inclusive.

LG makes a curved monitor that curves away from you rather than towards you. People buy it in confusion.

Everyone makes the same ad revenue on YouTube, and it is rebranded to OurTube. Luckily, they were able to keep the color scheme.

People finally realize that machine learning is just math, and stop using it everywhere. (Just kidding lol)

AMD and Gucci merge. Nobody understands why.

Ummm, thanks but no...

assignment: use winAPI to create a "virus" that put itself in autorun and does nothing.

me, a curious student: does the assignment and adds a heap corruption code just as a joke.

after sending the assignment to the teacher I realized that I have sent the real virus.

result: teacher comes next lesson without a computer and stares at me silently and viciously.

we'll see what happens next
any idea on what's going on in his head?

"Python is such a hard language. It has so many rules" - Undergraduate Student who sent out mass email to the class

*Professor makes the next assignment in ARM Assembly*

Assembly! I bow down to the devs who came before me🙏

The opposite sex avoids me like assembly language

"You'll be learning and working with C++ and Assembly."

I could very well be the only student ever to have been excited by that prospect.

Boss: For next project I suggest we use webassembly
Me: Why not use real assembly

Anyone looking for something interesting to do???

Step 1) understand how basic circuitry works on a bread board nothing too fancy. ( Implement NAND, AND, ADDER, SUBTRACTOR)

Step 2) learn about microprocessors and how OS works

Step 3) learn assembly

Step 4)write a basic assembler and understand how loaders and linkers works !

Step 5) write a kernel with very basic features like memory management and process management and some drivers for IO

Step 5) write an emulator for some simple systems .! ex chip-8.

Step 6) read about compiler theory and automata

Step 7) write a basic Python interpreter that compiles (not interpreter) to native assembly.

Step 8) implement TCP stack .

Step 9) learn as much as u can about complexity measurement ), data structures and algorithms using C or C++ it's very important ( familiarity with pointers and thus computer memory )

Step 10) learn any high level language of choice like Python or Ruby.

Step 11) stop debating over tabs vs spaces , emacs vs vim , angular vs vue, php vs Python , OOps vs procedular vs functional ( just know about all of them and when to use but don't fucking debate over which one is superior )..

Step 12) live happily and be healthy.

Couple years ago, I wrote a game in assembly.
Yesterday, I tried to look at the source, and realised there isn't a single fucking comment.

Assembly: He’s the nerd. He speaks very quickly and uses short sentences. Very few people talk to him. He’s considered to be an autist asperger by a majority of the class because he finishes the exams so quickly it’s insane and he faces a lot of difficulties in speaking with others. He’s at school but already dressed like an engineer.

Ada: She’s a foureyes nerd. When she gets the answer she’s doesn’t make any mistake. Ada often corrects the teacher when she writes a line a little ambiguous. She’s building a rocketship in her backyard and she’s always speaking about this weird hobby.

Python: He’s Mr Popular. He likes skate, brags about all the parties he’s invited to. He’s good in all the subjects taught in class but he’ll do them a bit slower than the others. Everyone loves him because he explainsthings so well, sometimes the teacher herself asks Python to explain some part of the course. He’s dressed with a hoodie, a baggy and glasses on the top of the head ;)

Java: She is one of the toppers of the class and very popular. She’s very good in all the topics. The teacher loves her but she’s a very talkative person.

Scala/Kotlin: They are twin sisters and the best friends of Java. Unfortunately, they are not as popular and it’s often Java who takes the lead in the group. It’s very difficult to distinguish one from another. Both are far less talkative than Java but Scala speaks a bit differently than Kotlin and Java.

C: He’s the topper of the class. He’s so fast in completing the exams that the teacher really thinks he’s copying Assembly’s work. He has a little brother C++ and they share a lot in common together. He’s the chess major and often plays chess with Assembly and his big brother.

Go: He’s the new kid on the bloc. He doesn’t like C++ and his friends and he wants to prove he can do better than them. Of course, he prefers playing Go over Chess.

APL: He’s a lonely guy. No one understands him when he speaks. Even the teacher is surprised when APL shows a correct answer after several lines of incomprehensible pictograms. People think that he was born in a foreign country… or a foreign planet ?

HTML/CSS: These twin brothers are very different. One is dressed in black and white and the other is dressed with everything except black and white. HTML is very talkative and annoying and the CSS is very artistic. CSS is the best student in Art lessons and HTML performs well in written expression.

LaTeX: She’s friend of HTML. The teacher likes her because she has a gift of writing. LaTeX likes the mathematical courses because she can draw fancy greek letters. The teacher knows this well and she is often asked to write a formula on the black board.

VBA: He’s in the back, looking through the windows. Not really interested in the courses taught in class. In the exams, he answers always with a table.

C#: He’s in the back playing yet another game on his smartphone. He likes being next to the windows also.

JavaScript: People often mix up Java and JavaScript because they have a similar name. But they are definitly not the same. Javascript spends a lot of time with HTMLand CSS. He’s as artistic as CSS but he prefers things that move. He likes actions and movies. CSS dreams to be a painter wheras JavaScript wants to be a film-maker.

Haskell: He’s a goth. Dressed up in dark. Doesn’t talk to anyone. He doesn’t understand why others write pages when he can write a couple of lines to answer the same question.

Julia: She’s the newest student here. She doesn’t have any friends yet but her secret aim is to be as popular as Python and as fast as C.

Credit: Thomas jalabert

TIS 100 the assembly language game.

Fresh out of college?
Entry-level?
Apply Here!

Junior Web Intern: 16k A Year!
Basic Requirements: HTML, CSS, JavaScript, Node, Angular, JQuery, Bootstrap, Backbone, Handlebars, D3, p3, CMS (WordPress, Wixx), PHP, Java (Android), C++(iOS), openframeworks, openGLSL, Cinder, failed at least two startups, 8086 assembly language.

Recommended requirements:
Git version control
Agile development

Must be able to display example of each requirement.

New paradigm for assembly programming: WYSWNW - what you see will not work

It’s me again. Your favourite pi man! My boss’s design got approved and the packhorse ordered lots of these bad boys. With a master degree, I’m a assembly line worker now 🙄

Im drunk, time to code assembly

WRITE IN C ('LET IT BE')
When I find my code in tons of trouble,
Friends and colleagues come to me,
Speaking words of wisdom:
"Write in C."
As the deadline fast approaches,
And bugs are all that I can see,
Somewhere, someone whispers:
"Write in C."
Write in C, Write in C,
Write in C, oh, Write in C.
LOGO's dead and buried,
Write in C.
I used to write a lot of FORTRAN,
For science it worked flawlessly.
Try using it for graphics!
Write in C.
If you've just spent nearly 30 hours,
Debugging some assembly,
Soon you will be glad to
Write in C.
Write in C, Write in C,
Write in C, yeah, Write in C.
BASIC's not the answer.
Write in C.
Write in C, Write in C
Write in C, oh, Write in C.
Pascal won't quite cut it.
Write in C.

Java: I'm the complete OOP Language

C: I'm used in most of the places

Python: I am the simplest language that can do wonders...

Assembly level Language: At last you all have to come to me. So all of you STFU.

If she doesn't write assembly or fortran, she's too young for you, bro.

- "I know Assembly !"
Me : "Which one ?"
- "There is only one..."

Found it online, this should be advertised 😆

So at the beginning there was assembly.

But people wanted something more highlevel, so C was born.

But writing big projects was a pain so C++ was invented.

But then the web started to become more popular and C++ wasn‘t really good at that, so Rasmus Lerdorf created PHP.

And then everything moved to the client and should be loaded dynamically for better UX, so everyone writes JS.

But JS doesn‘t have a good performance, so people created web assembly compiled from C...

Am i the only one who sees the irony in this?

just started learning Japanese. I guess Assembly is much more easier. 😂😂

I wrote a hello world program.

In Assembly

!rant

We had to design a Turing machine that gets on one strip a number in binary form and writes on a different strip the rounded down square root for it.

I did. And then I kinda implemented it in 16bit Assembly.

A is for Assembly, a wizard's spell

B is for Bootstrap, so bland and the same. And also for Brainf*ck, will blow you away

C is for COBOL, your grandad knows that

D is for daemon, your server knows what

E is for Express.js, you node what is coming

F is for FORTRAN, which is perferct for sciencing

G is for GNU which is GNU not UNIX

H is for Haskell using functional units

I is for Intance, An action of Object

J is for Java plays with them Always

K is for Kotlin, Android's new toy

L is for Lisp, scheming a ploy

M is for Matlab, who knows how it works

N is for Node a bloatware of code

O is for Objective Pascal, you did not expect that

P is for programming, we all love to do that

Q is for Queries, A database is made

R is for R, statistics are great

S is for Selenium, you have to test that

S is for Smalltalk, let's make it all brief

T is for Turing Test, how human is this?

U is for Unix, build with all talents

V is for Visual Studio, built with all laments

W is for Web, lets build something cool

X is for XHTML, remember all that?

Y is for Y2K, I'm tired as f*ck

Z is for Zip, let's zip is all now.

Get yourself coffee and back to the grind.

Assembly Programming is a misunderstood and tragically underutilized form of self-abuse.
While the ladies were off reading "50 Shades of Grey," I was reading the ARM ISA documentation.

Look at this! I finally succeeded in running C code on my shitty TI-83 calculator with a Z80 CPU. This is a huge improvement as I made whole games for that thing with assembly before! 😁😍

Every job description out there:
" JUNIOR XY position.
Requirements: 50 years experience of Assembly, Java and Masonry, HTML, cloud based computing and artificial intelligence. Must be able to write algorithms like Hummingbird. Fluent in English, Mandarin and Latin. Must have five doctor and two Bachelor degrees. Experience in leading a Fortune 500 company benefitial.
Renumeration: 5 rice grains"

Assembly programmers be like

Well, it all started off with hardware-level programming involving jumpers and stuff like that... Then came Assembly, which was good.. B, C compilers. Finally came the interpreted languages, and that's where in my opinion the abstraction should've ended. But no, we needed more frameworks, more libraries, even more abstraction! Where does it end? As it seems to be going, I guess that users will have kid toys - no iToys! - for electronics and we'll be programming on with bloated Scratch GUI's. Nothing against Scratch, but that shit ain't proper programming anymore. God I can't wait for the future.

ABSTRACT ALL THE THINGS!!!

Oh and not to mention that all software will be governed in political correctness by some Alex SJW AI shit that became sentient. Not a single programming term will be non-offensive anymore, no matter how hard you try to not offend anyone, or God forbid - don't care about it because you just want to make something that's readable, usable and working!! Terms, UI names for buttons, heck even icons! REMOVE IT BECAUSE IT OFFENDS SOMEONE THAT I DON'T EVEN KNOW JACK SHIT ABOUT!!!

1. No more coding on paper! Why can some already write essays on laptops but programmers are stuck with "analog"?
2. No vendor lock-ins! Teach free, cross-platform development, not VB.NET.
3. No more professors stuck in the eighties! If all you know is 6800 assembly, GTFO. I heard NASA was hiring...
4. Enforce code style consistency, proper documentation and even VCS for larger projects
5. Algorithms -> scripting -> programming. Don't quickly explain the basics, then throw students straight into Java.

when you write a program in assembly for the very 1st time it feels like

Damn you, Sublime! I love you, but for fuck's sake, why don't you provide syntax highlighting for x86 assembly? :(

Fuck yeah!!! After five days of fiddeling round in assembly without any sort of tutorial finally, im there :)

Proprietary video format. Native iOS app. Ok.

Using swift to decode and render. Ok.
Kills battery and is actually too slow on older devices. Ok..

Diving into armv7 neon assembly, it puts the "ok" in "pleasure".. Ok.....

Getting it to work. Fast frames. Yes. Ok!
Battery still stressed..ok.
Just need to get rid of the brown tint.. ok.

The tint became a brand mark. iPhone gone. Ok! Hours later, received email.

Vendor upgraded to serve h264 over http.
"Kill yourself with fire, ok?"

I soldered a flash chip onto a game boy cartridge and made my own game boy games for a while. If i had time, i would love to experiment with making Atari 2600 cartridges. The programmers that made those games were so badass that they could print the entire assembly source on a poster at font sizes that were easily readable because there was so little code for such a complex program. Now that takes genius. Always wanted to try my hand at it.

Coded in C language for first time (due to college assignments)...

Just found out that there are no strings in c language 😐

Studying in the library and just walked by a guy working on something in assembly. I want to be nosey, but he has a final this week (using a school library and they have extended finals hours). :(

The truth about javascript is it is evil. I almost invariably disable it, even on sites I trust just on principal.

Reasoning is simple: If you were tired of your customers subverting your attempts to mine their data with javascript what's the answer? Deliver content with javascript because then they have to enable it.

So if you're developing with a JS framework that opens its own network connections and retrieves content, or to put it more simply if your website does not work without scripts running, figure something else the hell out. Because when you're all alone and I'm president, JavaScript content delivery will be made illegal. We're going to build a firewall.

And Web Assembly, don't get me started. Granted if somebody told me to fix the problems with the current web technology stack I can almost guarantee that I would have come up with Web Assembly, that doesn't make it ok just because it's the logical conclusion. You bet your sweet ass that the main reason companies are excited about it is because now the protocol for accessing the internet just isn't text readable any more. It's a great new tool for taking advantage of and abusing users because they'll be even more ignorant of your transgressions and even more helpless to stop them.

Look the web architecture we have now isn't great, but at least we can do things like use the dev tools to remove the adblocker-disable-begging, and disable javascript, and disable styling if it's broken. It's totally at our fingertips every time we open a web page, and if we're being taken advantage of, we can do something about it.

The way I look at things, the people that are coming up with these frameworks are like the people who invented the atomic bomb. It's technology that has the potential to do good, but has the greatest potential for evil. It makes me crazy that nobody has even considered this.

Today I'm going to work on my side project that I haven't touched in weeks.

I want to utilize Angular 2 which means I'll need to learn TypeScript. I also want to use the new .Net Core and EF Core 1.0. Oh and I want to handle authentication using JWT!

Wow, that's gonna be a lot of effort to get things off the ground... maybe instead I'll use this time to learn some new concepts. Maybe watch this episode of Fun Fun Function, or maybe this video on writing Assembly code for an app on Raspberry Pi, that sounds cool!

Actually, you know I should really teach myself dependency injection and unit testing for once. I'm so behind the times.

Well, really I should finish this book on design patterns first. Ok, where did I leave off? Page 20 I think... ehh... maybe I'll just work on my side project.

Tomorrow... tomorrow, I'll work on my side project.

writing an assembler for my compiler, Manticore.

Currently working on writing a hand written parser and parse tree node system.

Learning Assembly x86 with a reverse engineering book.

Magic.

write this in assembly.

Stop teaching assembly first. It may be the underlying language, but your average coder never needs this confusing mess.

Really, I hate this composer / bower / npm shitholes!

Why the hell is my app 300MBs?!? Because that shitty pudding composer decided to download the ENTIRE git including README.md, examples, 5 hours of assembly-giraffe porn, my granny's pajamas and two wraps of kebabs!

How hard is it to define the folder that contains the REQUIRED library so that our project might stay at 5MBs instead of 300?

Hi guys, look what I've found in some old assembly book as a bookmark!

Been playing a lot of old NES games lately.
Made me think how did they develop and program such amazing games with primitive 80'-90's technologies, assembly/c and no internet.

Now with all the tech we have most games are crap and based on webshit or mobile.

This would actually probably be better than nodejs

Developer came to our area to rant a bit about a problem he was having with Xamarin. A particular android device was receiving a java runtime error trying to de-serialize data from a WCF contract. What he found was not to use WCF and use WebAPI (or a simple REST service that sent back/forth JSON).

When he proposed changing the service (since the data transport didn’t really matter, he could plug the assembly into a WebAPI project in less than an hour), the dev manager shot down the idea pointing him to our service standard that explicitly stated no WebAPI (it’s in bold letters).

I showed him the date on the “standard”, which was 5 years ago. We have versioning on our sharepoint server, so I also him my proposal notes on the change request document (almost two years before that) stating we should stop using WCF in favor of REST based web standards. Dev manager at the time had wrote in his comment “Will never use REST. Enterprise developers prefer RPC.”
He just about fell over laughing when I showed him this gif.

The freelancer...
We are looking for someone to design a logo with no less than 2 years Javascript, 10 years Intel IO low level engineering in assembly, 2 months pascal, 14 weeks of HTML5, 17.23567 years of ASCII C, and you must have a half pint of strawberry ice cream in your freezer. $20.00 firm.

I learnt programming by making cheats for games and reverse engineering them. It was a fun experience as it wasn't always easy to start with C++ and assembly but it was definitely worth it. Though when you come from a low level language such as C++, looking at highly abstract languages such as Javascript makes everything feel wrong in Javascript, especially when it comes to types and how you can just switch types in the middle of the code :D. But it also gives you an understanding of how Javascript could be implemented, what the engine is doing in the background when you create an object etc..

The one who said "Code should comment itself" must not have used assembly.

I literally wrote this 30 seconds ago and I can't work out what it does now...

Everything but UI/UX
Because I suck at it, lame but true, I love every kind of code, from MEAN and LAMPP to assembly, but when it comes to UI I just lack of the imagination and creativity to design something that looks averagely good.

Go python :D

When I die, I want the R.I.P on my tombstone mean something different
Recursion Investigator Program

On my computer, there will be a file with that name
and when you decompile it to assembly
it will tell my life story in assembly

this will be a death propper for an assembly programmer

New job requirement added :
4 years experience with "web assembly"

Fuck debugging 20 years old code in fucking assembly !!

C is for kids, real men code in assembly.

Found out I had two days to write this crap for an 8086 in class. Our instructor doesn't even know assembly. I stopped crying after the tenth jump.

Assembly language may be

Describe the most hellish development environment you can imagine for yourself:

Me:

Workstation OS: Windows Vista with network boot, no hard disk and can't save local files

Server OS: Closed physical appliance of Windows Server 2000 with no possibility of installing extra software

Languages: Visual Basic, Perl, Php, assembly, ABAP

IDE: None, just echoing code lines to files

Web technologies: IIS, Sharepoint, Java applets, asp

Network: No internet access, internal company network only

Web browser: IE 6

Graphical design software: msPaint

Version control: Emails

Team communication: Emails

Software distribution vector: Emails

Boss: some 40 year old guy who knows nothing about computers

Not kidding most of these stuff were actually real in my previous workplace.

I'll get there. One day..

Telling an Arch beginner to try Gentoo is same as telling someone who switched from Java to C to try assembly.

Seeing anything serious written in cpp with in line assembly, that level of witchcraft fascinates me

Do you really have to redefine every word in the English language? 😂 #assembly

Back then it was for kids. Today i think it wil be torture for them.

Ps my first language was assembly (not judging)

You might as well just kill yourself right now

If programming languages were countries, which country would each language represent?

Disclaimer: its just a joke

Java: USA -- optimistic, powerful, likes to gloss over inconveniences.

C++: UK -- strong and exacting, but not so good at actually finishing things and tends to get overtaken by Java.

Python: The Netherlands. "Hey no problem, let'sh do it guysh!"

Ruby: France. Powerful, stylish and convinced of its own correctness, but somewhat ignored by everyone else.

Assembly language: India. Massive, deep, vitally important but full of problems.

Cobol: Russia. Once very powerful and written with managers in mind; but has ended up losing out.

SQL and PL/SQL: Germany. A solid, reliable workhorse of a language.

Javascript: Italy. Massively influential and loved by everyone, but breaks down easily.

Scala: Hungary. Technically pure and correct, but suffers from an unworkable obsession with grammar that will limit its future success.

C: Norway. Tough and dynamic, but not very exciting.

PHP: Brazil. A lot of beauty springs from it and it flaunts itself a lot, but it's secretly very conservative.

LISP: Iceland. Incredibly clever and well-organised, but icy and remote.

Perl: China. Able to do apparently almost anything, but rather inscrutable.

Swift: Japan. One minute it's nowhere, the next it's everywhere and your mobile phone relies on it.

C#: Switzerland. Beautiful and well thought-out, but expect to pay a lot if you want to get seriously involved.

R: Liechtenstein. Probably really amazing, especially if you're into big numbers, but no-one knows what it actually does.

Awk: North Korea. Stubbornly resists change, and its users appear to be unnaturally fond of it for reasons we can only speculate on.

Assembly:
"OMG! What an unfriendly language! It's so obsolete!"
WebAssembly:
"OMG! Assembly is on the web! It's so amazing!"

When you get into assembly ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

brain: ABSTRACTION ABSTRACTION ABSTRACTION too much ABSTRACTION!

me: jeez calm down a lil i just deployed a boilerplate ember web app with cli tools with next to nothing amount of 'my' code.

b: YES U SUCKER THAT'S WHAT WENT WRONG U DON'T KNOW SHIT ABOUT THE LIL STUFF THAT HAPPENS BEHIND THE SCENES THE FUCK MAN U CALL YOURSELF A CS STUDENT YOU CAN'T EVEN WRITE A COMPILER YET

m: sooo remember when we were studying logic gates and binary conversions and you sigkilled all my threads cuz it was 'boring'?

b: why yes why do you ask

m: WELL that's where we'll end up again if you don't stop nagging me about going down. Trust me, I KNOW how to starve you and you'll beg me to use Python again. You start making advanced data structures in C and the next thing you know you're writing assembly code 'just for fun'.
I have a hackathon coming right up and I have to use a framework or my team loses the advantage. Are we good?

b: well if you put it that way...BUT AFTER THAT YOU'RE TAKING ME TO AN ALGORITHM SESSION

m: *eerily stares at the dusty book in the corner*
you... have a deal

if c++ is an upgrade to c, should assembly be considered c-- ?

My Amiga got a fancy new dress

I've been writing a complex mutation engine that dynamically modifies compiled C++ code. Now there's alot of assembly involved, but I got it to work. I finished off writing the last unit test before it was time to port it all to windows. I switched into a release build, ready to bask in the glory of it all. FUCKING GCC OPTIMIZATIONS BROKE EVERYTHING. I had been doing all my dev in debug mode and now some obscure optimization GCC does in release mode is causing a segfault...somewhere. Just when I thought I was done 😅

Fuck... coming from a Python background learning low level stuff is hard as shit.. gonna need to learn C/C++ and some Assembly real soon!

Gotta say though, understanding that stuff makes everything have more sense all of a sudden hahah

Actually wrote an assembly function for a C++ program.
😵

It has to be a joke...

Not being able to wrap my head around 8086 Assembly.

Since when was efficiency not important when working on a robot?!

-- background info --
I was working on another robot and was going to write a function in assembly because it needed to be as small and fast as possible. But I wasn't allowed to because "it's a waste of time" and "efficiency doesn't matter anyways" and at the same time, we are getting told it's not responsive enough due to this crazy inefficient function that I was trying to rewrite.

Hello DevRant!

so... I have this project for school... we have to choose something that we are interested in and learn about it. then we have to make something for our "end result".

so the topic i chose is looking at how computers actually work (basically learning x86 assembly) then making a huge readme document on github that shows how to do things in python and assembly (to show the difference between an interpreted lang and machine code)

i also need to talk to or work with someone that knows something in my chosen field. so if any of you want to, i will have a link to the github repo in the comments. it would be greatly appreciated if you could add some of your own examples / tutorials and knowledge. also having someone read over this and correct things would be nice. if you do contribute, i have a contributors file in the repo. feel free to add your name to the file. i will give you credit in the end project.

so.. ya. it would be greatly appreciated if you could help out or give me some suggestions.

Has pseudocode gone too far or we are back to assembly language ?

Any assembly language geek around.....

-[--->+<]>--.>+[----->+++<]>+.+++++++.++++++.---------.--------.-[--->+<]>-.++++[->++<]>+.-[->++++<]>.[->+++<]>+.++.-[--->+<]>--.+.[->+++<]>++.+++++++++++..-[--->+<]>.-[---->+<]>++.++[--->++<]>.-------.----.--[--->+<]>---.----.-[->+++++<]>-.[->+++<]>++.[--->+<]>----.+++[->+++<]>++.++++++++.+++++.--------.-[--->+<]>--.+[->+++<]>+.++++++++.[->+++<]>--.+[-->+<]>.++++++++.---[->++<]>-.+[--->+<]>.+++++.+.+++[->+++<]>.----.+++.-[--->+<]>-.+++++[->+++<]>.---------.[--->+<]>--.---[->++++<]>+.--.----------.+++++.-------.-[--->+<]>--.[->+++<]>+.-[->+++<]>.+++++[->+++<]>.-.--.---.+++++.---------.--[--->+<]>-.+[->+++<]>.++++++++++++.-.++++++++.+[->+++<]>.+++++++++++++.++.+++[->+++<]>.+++++++++++++.[--->+<]>+++.---------.+++++[->+++<]>.+++.[-->+++++<]>+++.---[->++++<]>-.-----------.+++++++.++++++.---------.--------.-[--->+<]>-.++++[->++<]>+.-[->++++<]>.++[->+++<]>.+++.+++++.-----.++++++++++.-----------.--[--->+<]>--.++[--->++<]>.-------.----.--[--->+<]>---.----.-----.+++++.-------.-[--->+<]>--.--[->++++<]>.[-->+<]>----.--.---------.+++++++++.--.-[--->++<]>--.[->+++<]>+.--[--->+<]>--..++++[->+++<]>.++++++++.-----------.++++++++++.-[--->+<]>.+[-->+<]>++.

Can anybody help me in understanding this assembly code of 8051?

I am in love with Assembly ! 😸

Past two days one of the senior devs has been complaining to anyone who will listen about a UI assembly containing 'hard-coded' references to a third party component causing several builds to break. The developer who added the telerik component probably had no idea the reference is pointing to his personal directory instead of a relative path. Easy fix? Uh...yea...but he just ranted to our boss for about 10 minutes about he has no idea how to fix the problem and the TFS build failure holding up his other projects.
WTF!? You fracking know what the relative path is!...just fracking change it and move the frack on.

The drama this drama-queen keeps spewing out is driving me out of my mind.

With all the roulette stuff going around, I was going to write something in x86 assembly but I am too lazy.

So now, you have just read a pointless placeholder post instead.

Fuck another headache! 2 hours translating C programs to Assembly on paper! 😧

Debugging assembly without a debugger.... Also, I am very new to this so it's even worse.

Only 2 hours until I can find some wifi to get gdb...

Fun times..

Tldr; its a long introduction

Hi Ranters,

I've been on this app for quite a while now. As a shy cat watching from a distance and reading all kinds of rants. Anywho I feel comfortable enough to crawl out of my shell and introduce myself. Since I feel you guys together made such a pleasant and safe community, I'm really happy to be a part of it!

Anyway I'm Sam, 24 year old, from the Netherlands. My favorite color is green. Mostly the green you can find in nature. The one that calms you down:). I'm a very introverted person but always very curious and eager to learn new things.

I started to program when I was 12. I did assembly and C++. Because I liked making cheats for online games. Later I learned about C#, Java and Python. Mostly used it for web stuff, scraping, services etc. But also chatbots (for Skype for example).

Currently I'm 2 years in as a data scientist, mostly working in Python.

But on the side as a hobby and with an ambition I have a basic understanding of full stack development.
Mostly Nodejs, express, mongo, and frontend, no frameworks.

(I will later ask you guys some more questions about that! I could really use some advice!)

Anyway enough about me! Tell a bit about yourselves! Happy to get to know you all a little better!

Just finished writing an inline assembly algorithm, my head hurts, I need a beer

might as well kill yourself

Assembly is the language to go!

1. Finish 8bit computer
2. Program an assembler
3. Find a girl friend

Can you guess which one will be in my new years resolution next your too?

As every programming language is shit, we'll propably go back to Assembly.

During a code review I was told that
if(x and y){
if(z){}
}

Will be slower to run than
if(x and y and z){}

I mean if you want to talk about programming practices and uniform code yes absolutely but any compiler will treat these identically, not to mention the assembly being identical. She was a superior though so I just went along with it.

Chrome 57 adds Web Assembly support.

I just know I'm going to be asked to use it soon. I just know it. It's not even close to a finished specification!

I've always asked my self , How they developed programming languages??

C# --> Based on - C++
C++ --> Based on - C
C --> Based on - whaaaat????

Assembly?? How they developed assembly???

0101010101 -__-

tbh I like assembly more than html and CSS

Took a class on computer systems, was supposed to be taught instruction sets, interrupts, pointers, basic gate level digital logic, etc. Professor spent the whole semester going line by line in the Visual Studio disassembler for some arbitrary C code, explaining in painfully dull detail, what each assembly line did. They did this for every class session, including the first, with no introduction to assembly. I lost count of how many times I fell asleep in class.

When your uncle is an Assembly Language programmer, developing Gym Trademills and shit
And he thinks working with Web Technologies is damn easy..

Hahah seriously?

Oh Wait a Min.. :|

Day 2 in ComSci class (following my last rant)
"Okay, so! All of the schoolwork and homework will be done on paper and pen, submit and I will grade it. Only once, no second chance"

Okay. Okay. This went over my head. What are you gonna do? OCR the code into the compiler, compile it and run to see if we fucked up to give us an F? What are you, god? Here's a brilliant idea, teach them Assembly! Guaranteed error to give us Fs! FUCK YOU

Literally all 4 years of my college.

(okay it was fun to learn assembly at least)

This was a while back. I was hosting a site at a hosting company's 'vps'. I had 1gig for the mysql databases. Problem is, for some reason the server didnt let me have more than 300mbs including everything (there were some videos on the site). I contacted them and they only replied that its ok on their end. Okay, makes sense. So i opened ssh and started looking for the problem. After a bit, i figured out that my site is hosted on a 1tb drive and i could see all the other partitions. Meaning they just slapped a bunch of users data on the same drive. So i wrote an assembly program to offset the mysql files by ~500 mbs. Turns out that put me in an unoccupied 100gb partition and the site was still working properly. So i offset everything to there and i had a 100gb vps for like $5.

Bind learning c++ chapter 3

Fuck whoever says that java is easier than c++. If i populate memory i can just fucking clean it out. I have access to the literal fucking stack my code runs on. I can integrate assembly. I can fucking make my program run in -3 seconds for fucks sake, this is so much easier than java where i have to fuck around with scopes to nudge the gc to start cleaning up and i need a separate engine to access jasm code.

Assembly for a SIP client.
Liar or insane

I hope to never encounter Assembly again, my brain hurts

Shit, everytime I use the WFI instruction, I'm reading it as "waifu".

SQL & Assembly: The most intuitive languages I have used

Hi.
Programming language types are only two:
- Assembly
- All the rest

I'm destroyed, my brain is melted.
Assembly is hate and love at the same time.

I am TIRED of high level :/

Is it just me? Or is it normal to feel special when a cs teacher see you writing x86-64 assembly in class.. it's just that look of "ok.. you clearly are better at my class than me".. anyways. I am finally learning assembly. Any suggestions on something to do so that this doesn't seem like a useless skill?

This sums it all up.

Someone can understand this?

I just finished writing an Integer Java Virtual Machine in C.
Being able to write an echo server in IJVM Assembly, connect to it through netcat and see it run on my machine is legitimately one of the most satisfying moments I've had so far in programming.

Don't tell me I'm the only one who searched if there's any direct option to use Assembly in Python as it is in C.

I spend the whole day decoding Assembly code for special formulas that we require for a current project.

And the client doesn't have them anywhere else.
There's only that old desktop application - written in assembly.

My Pc and I never felt so close before...
If it sounds like it was fun, it wasn't.
NOT. AT. ALL.

Came from C/C++... Thought i was prepared for assembly... fml

definately not a rant

i love to actually understand how the code works! like you're writing some text and surprise - it does magic? no. it goes deeper than that. and when you understand those concepts, coding becomes more serious/fun and interesting

When some random Assembly code I got off the OSDev Wiki actually booted on real hardware. This is where I'm meant to be.

must be one hell of a therapist...

WTF IS WRONG WITH ASSEMBLY LANGUAGE?!
I was just modifying an existing program for adding a sequence of numbers from the data section and through console input. I studied the code and started modifying it one step at a time. I needed to modify it into a multiplication program. So I started by changing the ADD functions, replaced the result and buffer registers with bigger size and thought I completed it. WELL GUESS WHAT? SHIT JUST GIVES ME SEGMENTATION FAULT! NOW I HAVE TO REDO THE WHOLE THING! WHY DOESN'T IT TELL ME WHICH LINE OF THE CODE I FUCKED UP AT?! STUPID NASM COMPILER.

This year I want to start a project that I'll be proud of, learn PHP, Java, PostgreSQL and Assembly.

One from the archives...

Writing x86 assembly code in VS Code feels so weird. I mean, I'm using something that's built using crazily high level languages (JS, HTML, CSS), on top of a mammoth runtime environment (Node, V8), which is itself sitting on a modern and sophisticated operating system (Antergos), and I'm writing code that shifts bits and bytes around in memory in order to get one part of my C program to run just a little faster. Wow.

Bind learning c++ chapter 2

Did the guy who made this language know how assembly works or did he just guess along the way?

Many people asked me this.

Every programming language is made of another, and because of it is the lowest level language every language is made of it. So what does assembly made of?
...

When you buy a vacuum cleaner they give you instructions to how to use it. When processor producer creates a processor they give an instruction to how to use it. Assembly programming language is nothing but an instruction that processor producer gave us.

Winter break university projects:

Option A: implement writing and reading floating point decimals in Assembly (with SSE)

Option B: reuse the reading and writing module from Option A, and solve a mathematical problem with SSE vectorization

Option C: Research the entirety of the internet to actually understand Graphs, then use Kruskal's algorithm to decide that a graph is whole or not (no separated groups) - in C++

Oh, and BTW there's one week to complete all 3...

I don't need life anyways...

What a cool question... um

My super power would be to intuitively read assembly. I could also focus it into laser eyes. A super power can do other things. Tell me why it shouldn't.

I am graduating in a few days for my MBO 4(pretty sure that's like community college/college in other countries) in The Netherlands and i'll be going to start working on getting my bachelor.

To prepare, i have devised a learning plan for in the summer.

Should I learn:

(C)++ and Python
(C)++ and NodeJS
(C)++ and C#
or
(C)++ and assembly

C and C++ are languages I want to learn in any case, but as for the others I am undecided.

Thanks

So planned on going out drinking to wind down from programming for the week but couldn't find anyone to go out with... So instead I stayed at home researching x86_64 and ARM assembly while drinking hard cider on my own... Well... A night well spent?

Do you ever fear that one day you’ll write the last line of MIPS Assembly?

Recently I developed the ability to write self-commenting assembly code.

Just reading Knuth's The Art of Computer Programming, where he created an own assembly language, so the book doesn't rely on a currently in fashion language... Meanwhile teaching students to code a GUI in java swing, because it was the new shit when the syllabus was created...

People who confuse Assembler with the Assembly language...

is Bachelor or Master Degree necessary for a web developer job?

ps: i am currently persuing BCA degree 5th sem and it has so many subjects i dont like or not related to my Aim(like microprocessor and assembly language). So.. dear seniors what do you recommend me?

I remembered one time my freakin prof in programming taugh us how to understand computer language, that time my worst enemy is ASSEMBLY, for some reasons my teacher doesn't know how to code in assembly like wtf?

On our last grading period he asked us to create a program using mov and shift and the deadline is set tomorrow after he announced it.

I remember my code in that freaking subject

MOV COURSE
SHIFT SCHOOL

HAHAHAHA after that I was scolded big time 😂

Why do I have 50 pdfs of books that teach me things that I will never be using?
Assembly tutorial? Why?
Java tutorial? Hm... okay. Perhaps.
Python tutorial x10? But I could use docs!
C? Shit!
C++? Ugh...
C#? Seriously?!

I think it's the time to wipe out all files with .pdf extention :/

Best part of the holidays for me has been the steam sales. I grabbed "TIL-100" and "Infinifactory". Both of them are wonderful logic games, and til-100 has you programming in assembly. It's the most challenging yet fun way I've ever programed!

Laying in bed at 1 AM unable to sleep so of course my brain is going wild and trying to convince me that learning Assembly and C to make my own bootloader and OS would be a good idea... Could be fun, think it's worth the shots and giggles?

Web Assembly and Dotnet Blazor. Finaly other languages will become aviable on the frontend, dotnet blazor is a good start for C#

So...
How i thought development looks like in my pre-coding days: some crazy assembly code.

How development really looks like: spending three days googling how to fix background color of Spinner in Android Studio..

Hey everyone!

I'm on the hunt for new and exciting languages!

I'll state the ones I already know:
Python, Haskell, C(++), C#, Java, JavaScript, Ruby, Rust, Lua, about every kind of Basic, some branches of Lisp, BrainF**k, assembly, Octo (Chip-8) and GML(basically JavaScript).

I've also learnt some styling languages:
Html, CSS, Markup and Markdown.

Some misc languages too: Regex and a runny bit of the Wolfram Language.

Also I'm kind of limited to Windows, Linux and Android, as I do not own any Apple hardware except I have access to an old iPad, so are languages like Swift still good?

Thanks!

Well, I wanna specialize in low-level software as I get older. Everyone is telling me to go out and learn a processor architecture. I'm willing to be patient, so I do what people recommend to me and I download the Intel x86_64 manual. I was excited... UNTIL I REALIZED THE MANUAL WAS 4474 PAGES LONG! Like, how am I supposed to jump into assembly, machine language, and low-level programing with a beginner's task like that? I cannot find ANY resources online to simplify the transition, and college sure ain't gonna teach me anytime soon.

Had to retake one basic CS lecture due to timing constraints and I deeply regret it, because there is a voluntary tutoring which doesn't fail to annoy me.
This time I was randomly placed in a group with students 7+ years younger (some of them straight out of school), exclusively guys and some of them have not figured out where to put their huge ego yet - other than rubbing it in other people's faces.

Normally, I wouldn't even bother but 4h work followed by 4h lectures and not having had dinner prior to this tutoring leave me worrying about when I'll brutally slay and devour the still twitching remains of the next dude who tries to tell me that I don't know shit about assembly.

Have assembly taught as the first language in college. 👀😂

not me but… not doing fucking everything in js, no way I'm installing os.js

As a junior dev from a sysadmin and security background, this is a list of software development concepts I never seemed to truly understand but hope to(rated from most intimidating to least):

1) Frontend web development and all the huge world of javascript frameworks and tools. - It's more overwhelming than the political geography of the Holy Roman Empire in the Middle Ages.

2) Machine Learning, Deep Learning and A.I- too much math that fucks with my brain.

3) low-level programming(kernel,drivers) - sounds extremely interesting but the code in assembly/C/C++ looks like Linear A Minoan hieroglyphics.

4) Rx(insert language here) - I never get why it is useful or why someone invented this. Seems interesting though.

5) Code Reflection - sounds like Thelemic magick.

6) Packaging, automation, build tools, devops, CI, Testing -seems too complicated. I just want to run an executable at the client or make a web app that does something. Why all this process?

Why do I see so many women on Instagram posing in front of their laptop with two monitors, tmux, bending over to show their curves with super healthy food and 20 inspirational hashtags talking about Js?

Guess I should unbutton my shirt and pose in front of my set-up with "hello world" in assembly on 2 multiplexed terminals.

Just wondering, how many of you can actually code in assembly?

Obviously, I overdid it with the assembly study assignment this morning - just tried to bit-mask a variable using "andi". In C#.

This week in my school: No access to computers until next week. Magnificent. We don't work with laptops until the 11th grade so... fuck

Now I have a Course called "Microprocessor and Assembly Language" this semester. I'm not understanding much of it from the classes (I don't find our teacher very good at teaching). So couple of days ago she says we have to submit projects at the end of this semester and it must be something related to hardware, not software(as she thinks Assembly is a language for Hardware). Now I have to submit a proposal to her very soon with an idea for the project. I'm killing myself over it but can't find any idea. Can anyone help me regarding this matter?

Just yesterday I fixed the game "Industry Giant 1", so that it can be played on 64bit systems. By updating necessary API changes within the. exe assembly instructions. Then i had to take the last avilable patch for the game (1.35) appart since it only works on the non-gold edition, which resultet in more assemly fixing. This was the most hacky thing i had to do in order to get a game running.

x64dbg saved my weekend. 😉

Can someone suggest a good IDE for assembly language programming?

Thanks.

One stubborn (but not very good) dev working on one part of new project (Windows desktop application with C# underneath) decided he didn’t like the interfaces we were agreeing for the algorithmic code.

Instead of discussing with the team (we were still very much in design phase), he made his own interfaces with the same name but in a different namespace, and in his assembly rather than in the base library. He was senior to the rest of the dev team, so when we raised our concerns he pulled rank and just carried on.

I resigned not long after that.

I had a phone interview and he was shocked that I hadn't learned C, C++ or an assembly language in college. anyone else find that strange?

>coding assembly on Windows in 2.017*10^3
>> omw to put "malware analyst specialist" "reverse enginner" on my Twitter bio

Dammit! I don't know how many times I've typed "mov x y" in my terminal tonight...

I finally gave in and set an alias for it.

Damned x86 assembly...

My area of focus: Low-level programming (refered as to down-to-metal programming)

Why?
Because as a little kid, I was so done using crappy unoptimized software. That was my original motivation, but now it's because optimizing routines and learning how everything works in general is fun. Even for things like Xlib (which is a pain in the ass to use, at first), but when you master it, you get that juicy performance. When I go really low level, like where cpu cycles matter I mix up C and Assembly (because I don't want my printf to be 40 lines of code). How is this applicable to any of the current programming needs, I don't know. Maybe embedded systems?

I think one of the most amazing things about being a developer is seeing the abstractions that have come about over time. From having to program in machine code and assembly, to now with languages like Java, where a lot of the boilerplate code is effectively abstracted out by frameworks.

When you come home from work and try to play some throwback N64 to escape the world of code for a few hours and you get hit with this nonsense...

If you're working on close to hardware things, make sure you run static analysis, and manually inspect the output of your compiler if you feel something's off - it may be doing something totally different from what you expect, because of optimization and what not. Also, optimizations don't always trigger as expected. Also, sometimes abstractions can cost a fair amount too (C++ std::string c/dtor, for example, dtors in general), more than you'd expect, and in those cases you might want to re-examine your need for them.

Having said all that, also know how to get the compiler to work for you, hand-optimization at the assembly level isn't usually ideal. I've often been surprised by just how well compilers figure out ways to speed up / compactify code, especially when given hints, and it's way better than having a blob of assembly that's totally unmaintainable.

Learnt this from programming MCUs and stuff for hobby/college team/venture, and from messing around with the Haskell compiler and LLVM optimization passes.

Writing simple terminal input/output lang (Hello, what's your name, hi) in D.
Compiling in D using standard lib: 6.1M
Compiling in D with inline assembly, no standard lib or libc, using syscalls: 1048 bytes!
I'm still freaking out a little.

Not drunk, still underage. I can share a wonderful story from when my wisdom teeth were pulled. My mom made me agree to not work on anything, especially code, when I came home. However, I had an awesome CPU architecture design project, and I was ready to make a few example programs in the assembly language. When I woke up the next morning with a clearer mind, I looked at the code again. ^A , ^X. Mom said "I told you so."

It's been 5 years this month since I started learning programming, getting interested after learning about Linux, wanting to do operating systems and games.

I started with C++, went on to C and assembly language for about 2 years and gave up on it for the most part.

Afterward did Java for two years and hated every second of it! Switched to Python instead (been using it since 2.7.5).

Now I do Haskell and JavaScript and those languages do everything so much easier I can never see myself ever going back!

Got an assignment last year to use a buffer overflow to "hack" a series of problems within some kind of assembly code. There were 2 required problems, but 6 in total. I completed all 7 (one hidden bonus problem).

The teacher that gave that assignment ended up writing me a letter of recommendation for my masters program

When I was about 11 years old, I wanted to know how to make computer programs and all I knew was that they are .exe files, so I searched for information on "how to make exe". Eventually I stumbled upon a monstrosity of a language called Delphi, and wasted a couple of years of my life on that. Ever since I've been trying to learn everything from Javascript to x86 assembly.
Nowadays I spend most of my free time learning Vulkan API, while developing web applications at work with Java.

Javascript days are counted... I've been away from the dev world for a little bit and instead of writing bugs I've been invested in reading news portals and checking on fucking frameworks...

Web Assembly its gaining traction and projects like Blazor are already showing its potential... I cant wait for things be v1, in any case... fucking Javascript its soon to be "that fucking shit we use to use".
No one truly likes javascript, and if you do like it you are probably the kind of person who like to rape babies anyway.

One of my trainees some years ago was too lazy to process his networking homework, so he just modified the binary of that cisco tool he would have to use and removed the password prompt at all to access the solutions.

// look at my previous rants
So keyboard is painted. But painting quality sucks (my first spray paint attempt) and looks ugly in some places. anyway. I think I'll repaint it maybe on summer, but for now I am done. I tired. Anyway, I added 5 rgb LEDs on the bottom for underglow (just for fun and exerciseing in programming) and rewired keyboard LEDs for controlling them from avr (in old XT keyboard is not allowed to control LEDs with computer). Last thing left. usb cable. And then assembly and firmware & rgb LEDs driver coding.

!rant
Question (asm)

Trying to pick up assembly, I'm super confused about &, [] and the name of the variable.
Example: I've a variable s, and I want a register that points to it.
Why using mov(s, eax) and not mov(&s, eax)? With the first option don't we get the value of s in eax, instead of its address (therefore it would work for strings but not for other objects)?

I'm considering learning some variant of assembly.

Yes, I mean that seriously.

found this great book on web dev web assembly. Reviews? anyone?

Learned ARM assembly in just a day. I guess I proved myself wrong when I thought it's gonna be hard to jump to another architecture.

PS. Originally worked with 16 Bit Windows Assembly. 😂

Ah, Russian developers