Ummm, thanks but no...

"Python is such a hard language. It has so many rules" - Undergraduate Student who sent out mass email to the class

*Professor makes the next assignment in ARM Assembly*

Assembly! I bow down to the devs who came before me🙏

The opposite sex avoids me like assembly language

"You'll be learning and working with C++ and Assembly."

I could very well be the only student ever to have been excited by that prospect.

Boss: For next project I suggest we use webassembly
Me: Why not use real assembly

Couple years ago, I wrote a game in assembly.
Yesterday, I tried to look at the source, and realised there isn't a single fucking comment.

Fresh out of college?
Entry-level?
Apply Here!

Junior Web Intern: 16k A Year!
Basic Requirements: HTML, CSS, JavaScript, Node, Angular, JQuery, Bootstrap, Backbone, Handlebars, D3, p3, CMS (WordPress, Wixx), PHP, Java (Android), C++(iOS), openframeworks, openGLSL, Cinder, failed at least two startups, 8086 assembly language.

Recommended requirements:
Git version control
Agile development

Must be able to display example of each requirement.

TIS 100 the assembly language game.

New paradigm for assembly programming: WYSWNW - what you see will not work

Im drunk, time to code assembly

It’s me again. Your favourite pi man! My boss’s design got approved and the packhorse ordered lots of these bad boys. With a master degree, I’m a assembly line worker now 🙄

Java: I'm the complete OOP Language

C: I'm used in most of the places

Python: I am the simplest language that can do wonders...

Assembly level Language: At last you all have to come to me. So all of you STFU.

Found it online, this should be advertised 😆

just started learning Japanese. I guess Assembly is much more easier. 😂😂

So at the beginning there was assembly.

But people wanted something more highlevel, so C was born.

But writing big projects was a pain so C++ was invented.

But then the web started to become more popular and C++ wasn‘t really good at that, so Rasmus Lerdorf created PHP.

And then everything moved to the client and should be loaded dynamically for better UX, so everyone writes JS.

But JS doesn‘t have a good performance, so people created web assembly compiled from C...

Am i the only one who sees the irony in this?

Every job description out there:
" JUNIOR XY position.
Requirements: 50 years experience of Assembly, Java and Masonry, HTML, cloud based computing and artificial intelligence. Must be able to write algorithms like Hummingbird. Fluent in English, Mandarin and Latin. Must have five doctor and two Bachelor degrees. Experience in leading a Fortune 500 company benefitial.
Renumeration: 5 rice grains"

Assembly Programming is a misunderstood and tragically underutilized form of self-abuse.
While the ladies were off reading "50 Shades of Grey," I was reading the ARM ISA documentation.

Look at this! I finally succeeded in running C code on my shitty TI-83 calculator with a Z80 CPU. This is a huge improvement as I made whole games for that thing with assembly before! 😁😍

I wrote a hello world program.

In Assembly

!rant

My girlfriend sat on my lap the other day when I was helping a friend of mine with some assembly code. She look at the code an said

What are you doing?

I explained the code and said that is the lowest you can get before machine code. She didn't run away in fear....

This is a great sign...

Assembly programmers be like

Chuck Peddle Dies at 82 (December 15, 2019); His $25 Chip Helped Start the PC Age.
His Chip brought digital technology to a new breed of consumer devices and powered early Apple and Commodore computers. 6502 microprocessor; KIM-1 SBC; Commodore PET PC are the notable works.

1. No more coding on paper! Why can some already write essays on laptops but programmers are stuck with "analog"?
2. No vendor lock-ins! Teach free, cross-platform development, not VB.NET.
3. No more professors stuck in the eighties! If all you know is 6800 assembly, GTFO. I heard NASA was hiring...
4. Enforce code style consistency, proper documentation and even VCS for larger projects
5. Algorithms -> scripting -> programming. Don't quickly explain the basics, then throw students straight into Java.

when you write a program in assembly for the very 1st time it feels like

Assembly...

Do I really need to say more? Okay, it's low level so there is no abstraction. All you deal with is cold naked mathematical truth and physical limitations.

It's still ❤️

Fuck yeah!!! After five days of fiddeling round in assembly without any sort of tutorial finally, im there :)

Damn you, Sublime! I love you, but for fuck's sake, why don't you provide syntax highlighting for x86 assembly? :(

Studying in the library and just walked by a guy working on something in assembly. I want to be nosey, but he has a final this week (using a school library and they have extended finals hours). :(

write this in assembly.

This would actually probably be better than nodejs

Really, I hate this composer / bower / npm shitholes!

Why the hell is my app 300MBs?!? Because that shitty pudding composer decided to download the ENTIRE git including README.md, examples, 5 hours of assembly-giraffe porn, my granny's pajamas and two wraps of kebabs!

How hard is it to define the folder that contains the REQUIRED library so that our project might stay at 5MBs instead of 300?

writing an assembler for my compiler, Manticore.

Currently working on writing a hand written parser and parse tree node system.

Stop teaching assembly first. It may be the underlying language, but your average coder never needs this confusing mess.

----------------------------

Learning Assembly x86 with a reverse engineering book.

Magic.

Hi guys, look what I've found in some old assembly book as a bookmark!

The one who said "Code should comment itself" must not have used assembly.

I literally wrote this 30 seconds ago and I can't work out what it does now...

Everything but UI/UX
Because I suck at it, lame but true, I love every kind of code, from MEAN and LAMPP to assembly, but when it comes to UI I just lack of the imagination and creativity to design something that looks averagely good.

Been playing a lot of old NES games lately.
Made me think how did they develop and program such amazing games with primitive 80'-90's technologies, assembly/c and no internet.

Now with all the tech we have most games are crap and based on webshit or mobile.

The freelancer...
We are looking for someone to design a logo with no less than 2 years Javascript, 10 years Intel IO low level engineering in assembly, 2 months pascal, 14 weeks of HTML5, 17.23567 years of ASCII C, and you must have a half pint of strawberry ice cream in your freezer. $20.00 firm.

Go python :D

Fuck debugging 20 years old code in fucking assembly !!

Found out I had two days to write this crap for an 8086 in class. Our instructor doesn't even know assembly. I stopped crying after the tenth jump.

New job requirement added :
4 years experience with "web assembly"

I'll get there. One day..

C is for kids, real men code in assembly.

Do you really have to redefine every word in the English language? 😂 #assembly

Telling an Arch beginner to try Gentoo is same as telling someone who switched from Java to C to try assembly.

Seeing anything serious written in cpp with in line assembly, that level of witchcraft fascinates me

Assembly language may be

When I die, I want the R.I.P on my tombstone mean something different
Recursion Investigator Program

On my computer, there will be a file with that name
and when you decompile it to assembly
it will tell my life story in assembly

this will be a death propper for an assembly programmer

Assembly:
"OMG! What an unfriendly language! It's so obsolete!"
WebAssembly:
"OMG! Assembly is on the web! It's so amazing!"

You might as well just kill yourself right now

I've just managed to add the ability to call functions to my compiler. Currently, the capabilities are rather limited but I am pleased with it.
It keeps the schematics of the source code well enough that it can handle
recursive calls.
:D
On the Image, you can see the program's output (left), the generated x86_64 assembly, and the source code of the compiled program (bottom).

Back then it was for kids. Today i think it wil be torture for them.

Ps my first language was assembly (not judging)

I need to fuckinb slepe
5 day sleep deprived sprints don't mix well with assembly

if c++ is an upgrade to c, should assembly be considered c-- ?

My Amiga got a fancy new dress

Any assembly language geek around.....

Actually wrote an assembly function for a C++ program.
😵

It has to be a joke...

Has pseudocode gone too far or we are back to assembly language ?

Fuck another headache! 2 hours translating C programs to Assembly on paper! 😧

might as well kill yourself

Just finished writing an inline assembly algorithm, my head hurts, I need a beer

Fuck... coming from a Python background learning low level stuff is hard as shit.. gonna need to learn C/C++ and some Assembly real soon!

Gotta say though, understanding that stuff makes everything have more sense all of a sudden hahah

I've been abusing JS Syntax to create stuff like this. Fun!

Assembly is the language to go!

I've always asked my self , How they developed programming languages??

C# --> Based on - C++
C++ --> Based on - C
C --> Based on - whaaaat????

Assembly?? How they developed assembly???

0101010101 -__-

When your uncle is an Assembly Language programmer, developing Gym Trademills and shit
And he thinks working with Web Technologies is damn easy..

Hahah seriously?

Oh Wait a Min.. :|

I am in love with Assembly ! 😸

Did you know Chris Sawyer developed rollercoaster tycoon almost entirely in assembly?

Almost as impressive as Temple OS.

1. Finish 8bit computer
2. Program an assembler
3. Find a girl friend

Can you guess which one will be in my new years resolution next your too?

Working with assembly is just something different... note to self: keep a cheat-sheet with the labels and corresponding addresses at hand.....

During a code review I was told that
if(x and y){
if(z){}
}

Will be slower to run than
if(x and y and z){}

I mean if you want to talk about programming practices and uniform code yes absolutely but any compiler will treat these identically, not to mention the assembly being identical. She was a superior though so I just went along with it.

tbh I like assembly more than html and CSS

Took a class on computer systems, was supposed to be taught instruction sets, interrupts, pointers, basic gate level digital logic, etc. Professor spent the whole semester going line by line in the Visual Studio disassembler for some arbitrary C code, explaining in painfully dull detail, what each assembly line did. They did this for every class session, including the first, with no introduction to assembly. I lost count of how many times I fell asleep in class.

Hi.
Programming language types are only two:
- Assembly
- All the rest

I'm destroyed, my brain is melted.
Assembly is hate and love at the same time.

I confess that I know how to manage memory on assembly language, but I never knew how to use the memory button of my Casio calculator :'v Should I be ashamed?

Don't tell me I'm the only one who searched if there's any direct option to use Assembly in Python as it is in C.

Assembly for a SIP client.
Liar or insane

As every programming language is shit, we'll propably go back to Assembly.

Can anybody help me in understanding this assembly code of 8051?

I am TIRED of high level :/

Came from C/C++... Thought i was prepared for assembly... fml

SQL & Assembly: The most intuitive languages I have used

Saw this comment in an assembly code.

"Abandon all hope all ye who code in here"

Chrome 57 adds Web Assembly support.

I just know I'm going to be asked to use it soon. I just know it. It's not even close to a finished specification!

Literally all 4 years of my college.

(okay it was fun to learn assembly at least)

Upgrading RAM in a customer's laptop, pretty easy, right?

Well not in the Asus VivoBook Max. You have to disassemble everything just to get to the slot under the motherboard because it was too hard to put a fucking hole in the bottom for that. 20 minutes to complete the job and you know what? I also managed to break a flex cable so now I have to fix that or buy a replacement for the whole keyboard/mousepad assembly.

FUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK

Someone can understand this?

What’s the difference between a coder, programmer, developer and a software engineer? I see many people who attend a 2 month coding bootcamp where they learn html, css, javascript and put software engineer in their title

must be one hell of a therapist...

I spend the whole day decoding Assembly code for special formulas that we require for a current project.

And the client doesn't have them anywhere else.
There's only that old desktop application - written in assembly.

My Pc and I never felt so close before...
If it sounds like it was fun, it wasn't.
NOT. AT. ALL.

Haven't used it since and hopefully never will again, but understanding recursion and keyboard input in Assembly (uni project)

After a long (4 days) sleepover with my friends, with 14 hours a day of slamming our heads against abstract registers, we could finally program the factorial and take floating numbers as input and output them on the screen. It was nothing but pain, but the moment we got it, the sky had opened before us :D

Never again

My journey with IT learnings, Some of Major learning changes. The following are the years in which I start learning given technology or domain.

1993 Birth
1999 #HTML
2001 #PHP + Foxpro
2001 #Haskell language
2002 BASIC
2002 #8088 Assembly
2003 #Linux
2007 Visual #Foxpro
2009 #C Language
2010 #Python
2011 #JAVA for mobile #development
2015 Virtual Machines
2016 Networking
2018 #Blockchain
2019 #Elixir & Phoenix
2019 #DevOps

definately not a rant

Shit, everytime I use the WFI instruction, I'm reading it as "waifu".

Bind learning c++ chapter 2

Did the guy who made this language know how assembly works or did he just guess along the way?

When some random Assembly code I got off the OSDev Wiki actually booted on real hardware. This is where I'm meant to be.

Ye, so after studying for an eternity and doing some odd jobs here and there, all I can show for are following traits:

* Super knowledgeable in arm/Intel assembly language
* C-Veteran with knowledge of some sick and nasty C-hacks/tricks which would even sour the mood of your grandma
* Acquired disdain of any and all scripting languages (how dare you write something in one line for which I need a whole library for!)
* All-in-all low-level programmer type of guy (gimme those juicy registers to write into!)

After completing the mandatory part of my computer science studies, all I did was immerse myself into low-level stuff. Even started to hold lectures and all.

Now I'm at the cusp of being let free into the open market.
The thing is: I'm pretty sure that no company is really interested in my knowledge, as no one really writes assembly anymore.

Sure, embedded programming is still a thing, but even that is becoming increasingly more abstract, with God knows how many layers of software between the hardware and the dev, just to hide all the scary bits underneath.

So, are there people in here who're actually exposed to assembly or any hands-on hardware-programming?
Like, on a "which bit in which register/addr do I need to set" - kind of way.

And if so, what would you say someone like me should lookout for in a company to match my interest to theirs?
Or is it just a pipe dream, so I'd need to brace myself to a mundane software engineer career where I have to process a ticket at a time?

(Just to give a reference: even the most hardware-inclined companies I found "near" me are developing UIs with HTML5 to be used in some such environment ....)

What a cool question... um

My super power would be to intuitively read assembly. I could also focus it into laser eyes. A super power can do other things. Tell me why it shouldn't.

This year I want to start a project that I'll be proud of, learn PHP, Java, PostgreSQL and Assembly.

Winter break university projects:

Option A: implement writing and reading floating point decimals in Assembly (with SSE)

Option B: reuse the reading and writing module from Option A, and solve a mathematical problem with SSE vectorization

Option C: Research the entirety of the internet to actually understand Graphs, then use Kruskal's algorithm to decide that a graph is whole or not (no separated groups) - in C++

Oh, and BTW there's one week to complete all 3...

I don't need life anyways...

Many people asked me this.

Every programming language is made of another, and because of it is the lowest level language every language is made of it. So what does assembly made of?
...

When you buy a vacuum cleaner they give you instructions to how to use it. When processor producer creates a processor they give an instruction to how to use it. Assembly programming language is nothing but an instruction that processor producer gave us.

i love to actually understand how the code works! like you're writing some text and surprise - it does magic? no. it goes deeper than that. and when you understand those concepts, coding becomes more serious/fun and interesting

I just finished writing an Integer Java Virtual Machine in C.
Being able to write an echo server in IJVM Assembly, connect to it through netcat and see it run on my machine is legitimately one of the most satisfying moments I've had so far in programming.

I hope to never encounter Assembly again, my brain hurts

Assembly language broke my brain today

One from the archives...

WTF IS WRONG WITH ASSEMBLY LANGUAGE?!
I was just modifying an existing program for adding a sequence of numbers from the data section and through console input. I studied the code and started modifying it one step at a time. I needed to modify it into a multiplication program. So I started by changing the ADD functions, replaced the result and buffer registers with bigger size and thought I completed it. WELL GUESS WHAT? SHIT JUST GIVES ME SEGMENTATION FAULT! NOW I HAVE TO REDO THE WHOLE THING! WHY DOESN'T IT TELL ME WHICH LINE OF THE CODE I FUCKED UP AT?! STUPID NASM COMPILER.

A few months ago I ranted about how my first encounter with Assembly was hopefully the last one

Here I am, again, with my second Assembly encounter. However, this time I'm able to read and understand it more, such that I'm even able to compute stack layouts. I don't even hate it that much anymore.

I guess I'm walking the path I couldn't defeat

*cries in %rax*

Just reading Knuth's The Art of Computer Programming, where he created an own assembly language, so the book doesn't rely on a currently in fashion language... Meanwhile teaching students to code a GUI in java swing, because it was the new shit when the syllabus was created...

Recently I developed the ability to write self-commenting assembly code.

Web Assembly and Dotnet Blazor. Finaly other languages will become aviable on the frontend, dotnet blazor is a good start for C#

Idk why I had the idea to research how sockets work in X86 Assembly. I’ve just been weirdly obsessed with low level stuff recently.

Edit: and obsessed with network programming.

Assembly
Right off the bat
No beating around the bush like a pansy
Actually knowing the CPU operations (which in essence are very limited and simple) will help him/her understand EVERYTHING: its limits and its capabilities.

So...
How i thought development looks like in my pre-coding days: some crazy assembly code.

How development really looks like: spending three days googling how to fix background color of Spinner in Android Studio..

People who confuse Assembler with the Assembly language...

Well shit, now I (re-)learned C,
And all I want to do is program in C,
But all C jobs are like -
"C guru that merged to Linux kernel"
"Driver writing low level must know Assembly"
"Military-grade realtime hardware design"

Isn't there a C job that's like Python - "here I wrote this script in 5 minutes and spent the rest of the day playing Eve Online" :D :D

Well, I wanna specialize in low-level software as I get older. Everyone is telling me to go out and learn a processor architecture. I'm willing to be patient, so I do what people recommend to me and I download the Intel x86_64 manual. I was excited... UNTIL I REALIZED THE MANUAL WAS 4474 PAGES LONG! Like, how am I supposed to jump into assembly, machine language, and low-level programing with a beginner's task like that? I cannot find ANY resources online to simplify the transition, and college sure ain't gonna teach me anytime soon.

Fuck AT&T syntax for x86 assembly.
That is all.

Laying in bed at 1 AM unable to sleep so of course my brain is going wild and trying to convince me that learning Assembly and C to make my own bootloader and OS would be a good idea... Could be fun, think it's worth the shots and giggles?

Best part of the holidays for me has been the steam sales. I grabbed "TIL-100" and "Infinifactory". Both of them are wonderful logic games, and til-100 has you programming in assembly. It's the most challenging yet fun way I've ever programed!

I remembered one time my freakin prof in programming taugh us how to understand computer language, that time my worst enemy is ASSEMBLY, for some reasons my teacher doesn't know how to code in assembly like wtf?

On our last grading period he asked us to create a program using mov and shift and the deadline is set tomorrow after he announced it.

I remember my code in that freaking subject

MOV COURSE
SHIFT SCHOOL

HAHAHAHA after that I was scolded big time 😂

Have assembly taught as the first language in college. 👀😂

Now I have a Course called "Microprocessor and Assembly Language" this semester. I'm not understanding much of it from the classes (I don't find our teacher very good at teaching). So couple of days ago she says we have to submit projects at the end of this semester and it must be something related to hardware, not software(as she thinks Assembly is a language for Hardware). Now I have to submit a proposal to her very soon with an idea for the project. I'm killing myself over it but can't find any idea. Can anyone help me regarding this matter?

When you come home from work and try to play some throwback N64 to escape the world of code for a few hours and you get hit with this nonsense...

I lost my bike key in office yesterday and searched hell out of everywhere like in office, in my bag, in others bags (never know who can prank you), even we were searching in everyone's drawer but we were unable to find it so we went out an checked if I dropped it near canteen or anywhere out in office area using mobile flashlight at night for like 2 hours. So we just lost hopes and went to home by bus.

So today we went to shop and bought the new lock assembly and while we were heading back to office our QA called me laughing and telling "we found it, it was stuck in your chair and it fell out while the cleaning guy was cleaning it.!"

Luckily the shopkeeper took lock assembly back as it is laughing and gave us full refund.

Just wondering, how many of you can actually code in assembly?

Writing x86 assembly code in VS Code feels so weird. I mean, I'm using something that's built using crazily high level languages (JS, HTML, CSS), on top of a mammoth runtime environment (Node, V8), which is itself sitting on a modern and sophisticated operating system (Antergos), and I'm writing code that shifts bits and bytes around in memory in order to get one part of my C program to run just a little faster. Wow.

Why are most developers/software engineers so absolutely fucking shit at their craft?

I understand incompetence exists in every occupation but it seems in development the ratio of bad developers to good developers is like 9:1. There’s a serious lack of quality in this industry and it’s only further exacerbated by coding bootcamps and orgs like general assembly pumping out more dog shit

I appreciate Ruby so much more now after writing a tiny Assembly + C Grub-compatible kernel and being forced to read libc source code.
The lower levels truly are a dark place.

I think one of the most amazing things about being a developer is seeing the abstractions that have come about over time. From having to program in machine code and assembly, to now with languages like Java, where a lot of the boilerplate code is effectively abstracted out by frameworks.

Why do I have 50 pdfs of books that teach me things that I will never be using?
Assembly tutorial? Why?
Java tutorial? Hm... okay. Perhaps.
Python tutorial x10? But I could use docs!
C? Shit!
C++? Ugh...
C#? Seriously?!

I think it's the time to wipe out all files with .pdf extention :/

Obviously, I overdid it with the assembly study assignment this morning - just tried to bit-mask a variable using "andi". In C#.

>coding assembly on Windows in 2.017*10^3
>> omw to put "malware analyst specialist" "reverse enginner" on my Twitter bio

I had a phone interview and he was shocked that I hadn't learned C, C++ or an assembly language in college. anyone else find that strange?

So planned on going out drinking to wind down from programming for the week but couldn't find anyone to go out with... So instead I stayed at home researching x86_64 and ARM assembly while drinking hard cider on my own... Well... A night well spent?

Got an assignment last year to use a buffer overflow to "hack" a series of problems within some kind of assembly code. There were 2 required problems, but 6 in total. I completed all 7 (one hidden bonus problem).

The teacher that gave that assignment ended up writing me a letter of recommendation for my masters program

One of my trainees some years ago was too lazy to process his networking homework, so he just modified the binary of that cisco tool he would have to use and removed the password prompt at all to access the solutions.

Okay so I don't really know what I did but somehow my Rust executable that implements a parser for an assembly language all the sudden needs more than a minute to compile and is over 700 MiB in size 🤠

is Bachelor or Master Degree necessary for a web developer job?

ps: i am currently persuing BCA degree 5th sem and it has so many subjects i dont like or not related to my Aim(like microprocessor and assembly language). So.. dear seniors what do you recommend me?

Writing a full interpreter for a pseudo-assembly language.

It's kinda fun but the things a bit of a cunt of a problem because I only did this once before almost a decade and a half ago.

getting just the right format and deciding on the syntax is a slog. Just need something thats quick and sufficiently expressive because I'm not writing the assembly myself, I'm generating the assembly code that runs through the interpreter, so it has to be valid under a lot of conditions.

At first, my family was like "Don't waste your time on the computer, in college, you will learn how to code". I didn't listen, I started learning C#, but somehow I ended up learning C++ lol. Then I started with C, assembly, and SystemVerilog.
After they saw how good I was at it. They started supporting me. I don't blame them for not supporting me at first, they were ignorant about the topic, so they were blindly making assumptions.

found this great book on web dev web assembly. Reviews? anyone?

Writing simple terminal input/output lang (Hello, what's your name, hi) in D.
Compiling in D using standard lib: 6.1M
Compiling in D with inline assembly, no standard lib or libc, using syscalls: 1048 bytes!
I'm still freaking out a little.

Whose fucking idea was it to still consider assembly (with C being optional) as the most relevant language in electrical engineering school?
Also teaching like 74HC and Op-Amp IC's are still the most common thing in todays electronis is really grinding my gears!!! Is it still an argument that your 8 NAND gates are essentially the same price as a low cost Microcontroller?
But one can be modified within second and the other you potentially need to redesign the entire board.

I used inline C in perl to write inline assembly.

I deserve death.

I'm considering learning some variant of assembly.

Yes, I mean that seriously.

Terminator ran on a 6502! Wonder if he came with a copy of duck hunt?

So, I've been trying to learn assembly. However, I can't find any assembly docs online, so I can't really do anything. I tried NASM and FASM but I just can't understand assembly. Do y'all know any decent way to learn assembly? (My dad said it's better to do it on my pi or should I do it on my desktop?)

Holy shiiittttt I finally got 64bit NASM working on windows with cmake. Cmake documentation is fkn bad man.

I’ve got a c++ file that calls a procedure in an assembly file that calls win32 APIs to show dialogs and other cool shit. Compiling was working fine, linking turned out to be a bit of a pain in the ass, but figuring out how to enable NASM in cmake was a nightmare. Why is the cmake docs so horrific 🥺

If you're working on close to hardware things, make sure you run static analysis, and manually inspect the output of your compiler if you feel something's off - it may be doing something totally different from what you expect, because of optimization and what not. Also, optimizations don't always trigger as expected. Also, sometimes abstractions can cost a fair amount too (C++ std::string c/dtor, for example, dtors in general), more than you'd expect, and in those cases you might want to re-examine your need for them.

Having said all that, also know how to get the compiler to work for you, hand-optimization at the assembly level isn't usually ideal. I've often been surprised by just how well compilers figure out ways to speed up / compactify code, especially when given hints, and it's way better than having a blob of assembly that's totally unmaintainable.

Learnt this from programming MCUs and stuff for hobby/college team/venture, and from messing around with the Haskell compiler and LLVM optimization passes.

I just failed assembly (asm8068) course for the 2nd time.
I feel devastated because it will delay my diploma.

Fuck assembly, and fuck schools who still make it a required course.

Programming languages

Let's write a web application in x86 assembly...

Heya @Fast-Nop

Here's to your many sevens (7).
Beautiful assembly, perfect with that leading three (3).

Cheers mate

During my undergrad I had 2 courses which taught how to code in assembly. Nobody, nobody uses it😢

!rant
Digging though my old emails found this joke sent to me long time ago. Think that originally was posted in a 1997 issue of Computerworld. Maybe you already suffered the effect of the "Opcodes" listed here. Hope that !tl;dr

ARG Agree to Run Garbage
BDM Branch and Destroy Memory
CMN Convert to Mayan Numerals
DDS Damage Disk and Stop
EMR Emit Microwave Radiation
ETO Emulate Toaster Oven
FSE Fake Serious Error
GSI Garble Subsequent Instructions
GQS Go Quarter Speed
HEM Hide Evidence of Malfunction
IDD Inhale Dust and Die
IKI Ignore Keyboard Input
IMU Irradiate and Mutate User
JPF Jam Paper Feed
JUM Jeer at Users Mistake
KFP Kindle Fire in Printer
LNM Launch Nuclear Missiles
MAW Make Aggravating Whine
NNI Neglect Next Instruction
OBU Overheat and Burn if Unattended
PNG Pass Noxious Gas
QWF Quit Working Forever
QVC Question Valid Command
RWD Read Wrong Device
SCE Simulate Correct Execution
SDJ Send Data to Japan
TTC Tangle Tape and Crash
UBC Use Bad Chip
VDP Violate Design Parameters
VMB Verify and Make Bad
WAF Warn After Fact
XID eXchange Instruction with Data
YII Yield to Irresistible Impulse
ZAM Zero All Memory

Do you have some idea of assembly programs to write to learn assembly?

Dammit! I don't know how many times I've typed "mov x y" in my terminal tonight...

I finally gave in and set an alias for it.

Damned x86 assembly...

beginning to learn QBASIC as i'm looking to port my demoscene stuff from TI-BASIC (based on QB) to MS-DOS. Graphics are weird here and i can't just drop in Assembly snippets so scrollers are gonna be a bitch. However...

Screen mode 13's kinda nice, ngl.

Not much tops the orgasm from powering thru 500+ lines of code in the zone... in vim...no debugger.. and without compiling just visually seeing in your mind the assembly be generated... and code being stepped thru.. and then compile and test and everything works as expected.. not sure anything tops that feeling ... definitely have to be in the zone.. one distraction and boom gotta compile to make sure nothing broke

It was one cold winter night, lonely and sad, until my mom's coworker brought to our house an old computer from their company.

It was like heaven come down to earth, when he assembly all parts together.

I was filled with joy and excitement, until I saw Windows start screen.

Worst day of my life. Linux for life!

Need help. Explain why assembly code is wrong.
C code:
long f(long n) {return n + 1} ;

Assembly:
f:
movq rdi, rbp
addq $1, rbp
movq rbp, rax
ret

So accurate.

That feeling when your friends' college life kind of depends on you helping them out in this assignment using a low level programming language (low level means it was meant to operate on the machinery level) that you were really good in at the first semester. Then you realize that you have forgotten a lot of things just because the logic and approach ist totally different from the high level programming language and you forget how a programming language works once you stop using it and it takes time to dive back in and you really like being friends with them. Now all you're left with is with the fear of letting them down.

Junior asks me to help him with his Microprocessors project. I was like cool mail it to me I'll check it out. He sends me a .s assembly file and tells me this is machine generated code, can you make it look like it's written by a human. I was like wtf dude -_-.

So I'm having trouble keeping up with a game I'm working on and im struggling to find a new job, soooooo I decided fuck it and began concepting building a fantasy console with a custom backend language slightly modelled off of Assembly that you would then create a front end of...

Going to build it using GML and then build a GML front language because fuck it, why not!

RIP my sunday...

Assignment for uni:
Code a decompression routine in cortex m0 assembly for the compression function your teacher provided....

It can't get much worse than that!

I want to learn assembly, any tips, links or information that would be useful? Thanks in advance

Basically everything I've ever done in assembly.

1. Get that senior-appropriate raise
2. Build a real ML project
3. Learn web assembly and get to the next level in web dev

Its a confession...
So yesterday we had a practical in our uni... It was on Assembly Language (NASM and TASM)... Its a horrible language to work on... Trust me... I hate it, infact... We all hate it at the uni... But the thing is... We need to pass the practical in order to sit for the theory, and it is really hard language.... So most of my friends brought pen drives... And some brought chits... And sadly... All of them got caught... And were marked as fail right away... But the thing is I also cheated... And I copied successfully... I didnt use any pendrive or removable media... But I used ssh to my cloud server... And since I code on vi, it was pretty easy for me to cheat in the practical... I feel bad that I cheated.... But then I feel proud as well because I used the tech of this generation to copy, and not some grandpa shit like pendrives...
Yeah... That was it... The codes did rain in the exam..
I know I am a horrible person.. But common guys.. Who am I kidding... I am proud that I didnt use any clichè methods... And was talented enough to do so without getting caught...

Guy sitting next to me on my morning commute working on a presentation called "Containerizing The Assembly Line"... I feel sorry for his devs if that's how he thinks of them.

Just yesterday I fixed the game "Industry Giant 1", so that it can be played on 64bit systems. By updating necessary API changes within the. exe assembly instructions. Then i had to take the last avilable patch for the game (1.35) appart since it only works on the non-gold edition, which resultet in more assemly fixing. This was the most hacky thing i had to do in order to get a game running.

x64dbg saved my weekend. 😉

Not drunk, still underage. I can share a wonderful story from when my wisdom teeth were pulled. My mom made me agree to not work on anything, especially code, when I came home. However, I had an awesome CPU architecture design project, and I was ready to make a few example programs in the assembly language. When I woke up the next morning with a clearer mind, I looked at the code again. ^A , ^X. Mom said "I told you so."

The C language combines all the power of assembly language with all the ease-of-use of assembly language.

*le me being frustrated af trying to compile asm.
.section won't work for fasm. And some other things won't work for Nasm.
Now I got the .obj aka .o from the .asm. But ldrdf.exe from the nasm compiler isn't working properly. And I can't find a troubleshoot online. Seems like this will be a sleepless night...

Not prepared at all for this Assembly exam I'm about to take. Wish me luck!

Boring uses of artificial super intelligence:
- eternal peace and prosperity
- hostile world domination
- genocide

Fun uses of artificial super intelligence:
- ALL the paperclips
- time travel games where you can meet accurate behavioral models of your future self taking into account memories of this same encounter
- trolling alien civilizations by broadcasting assembly instructions for it