Not sure if it has been here, but the height of SO:

Spend half an hour finding music to listen to while I code; Pause it after 30 seconds to concentrate on refactoring. Stays paused for rest of day.

Really getting the most out of those expensive new headphones.

The first time I made fun of a customer of mine was when she took a ruler to see if the responsive website was identical to the mock up

Because number < 0 is too mainstream 😂

When websites disable right click

I feel like Job Listings for programmers are just copied and pasted at random. "5+ years experience with C++" seems a little extreme for a company that makes landing pages and sends out email blasts.

In a meeting with my new team I asked if they had a preference between tabs and spaces. None of them cared.

#notrealdevs

Anybody else had to do their programming exams using only pen and paper?

Just spent 10 minutes teaching a client how to scroll on his computer after sending him the mock-up for his website.

The best part? I got him to learn by saying "pet the mouse"

When a project manager suggest using Wordpress

Being a programmer can make you feel like batman to complete idiot in a minute

A long developement day start when you forget your headphones at home.

"So you're like... A computer guy right? So you like work at the Apple Store or something?"

Just nod. It's easier that way.

I work at a place where security is really high when it comes to server access. Today I was in urgent need to get admin access to a server, this is a real pain. Luckily I found an xml in version control containing the credentials for the web application which happens to be an admin account! Lucky me, saved me at least two weeks of waiting to get admin access!

A man flying in a hot air balloon suddenly realizes he’s lost. He reduces height and spots a man down below. He lowers the balloon further and shouts to get directions, "Excuse me, can you tell me where I am?"

The man below says: "Yes, you're in a hot air balloon, hovering 30 feet above this field."

"You must work in Information Technology," says the balloonist.

"I do" replies the man. "How did you know?"

"Well," says the balloonist, "everything you have told me is technically correct, but it's of no use to anyone."

The man below replies, "You must work in management."

"I do" replies the balloonist, "But how'd you know?"

"Well", says the man, "you don’t know where you are, or where you’re going, you expect me to be able to help. You’re in the same position you were before we met, but now it’s my fault."

I have completely given up explaining to my friends and family what I do for a living.

Not my recruiter experience, but one of the worst I've heard by far 😖

This recruiter was probably hoping to gain my attention with mystery?

Microsoft development team response:

You see .. You always have these corner cases 😂

Wan't to hear my ridiculous recruiter story? I am originally from MA, and been on a small town since I was 4 (Born in Brazil). Well after years and years on the same town, always going back (MA) when a job here and there wouldn't work out. Going through some depression, and just got tired of everything. Well one day I found a recruiter on linkedIn and he knew a friend of mine. So he said he had a possible job offer but it was in Florida, anyhow he would later contact me and in the mean time for me to send him some examples of my work. Well in the mean time I packed my stuff and called him letting him know I was on the way. He was shocked and didn't know what to say. Went to the interview with him, got the job. 9 months later :) I don't regret taking my changes, it was all I had. I'm currently employed, love my job, and if it wasn't for my ridiculous recruiter... I don't know where I would have ended up. Long story, sorry /: ... here is a potato :) (9gag reference)

The day I fit this into my code is the day I can die:

double penetration;

When you first start learing development patterns on Java

The Manager cracks a joke. Everyone in the team laughs except one guy..

Manager asks him- Didn't you understand my Joke????

The guy replies - I resigned yesterday
😝😁😁

sometimes, editing bad code, makes me wanna meet the the person who wrote it. just to see the sick mind responsible for the piece of shit im looking at!

Too many side projects that you have lost motivation to continue or no time to complete :(

Xamarin.Forms be like

Carousel Page is depreciated and will be removed soon. Use Carousel View.

Carousel View was removed from stable release channel because we felt it was ready.

...really guys

"I would like my site to be harmonious with a garden "
- real client quote
(I quit that job shortly after)

Does anyone else adore the show Silicon Valley?

At work I put my headphone with no music just to be left alone, you ?

When people call themselves a "professional web developer," but all they do is set up a Wordpress site with a custom skin. Alright then! 🙄