How I feel when starting a new project

Whoops

A bit of an old Stack Exchange post, I wonder if anyone remembers this one...

I wrote an azure web job to screen scrape a specific page of disneystore.com and send me an email if an Elsa dress was in stock so I could buy it for my daughter. This dress would be available for literally seconds at a time.

Monday

<?php

wakeUp();
goToWedding();

while (atWedding() && bored()) {
browseDevrant();
}

goToTrainStation();
sleep(2700); // got there 45 mins early

while (trainIsMoving()) {
try {
workOnDevrant();
} catch (ProcrastinationException $e) {
// got distracted by devRant
}
}

goHome();

while (unrespondedStickerRequests()) {
sendResponse();
}

goToSleep();

?>

Best complaint from roomate : "I have to go to e3 for work tomorrow"

When you are a CS major/part time developer and your uncle gives you a swiss army knife as a present "so if you have to fix computers you have the screwdriver ready"

devRant frustrated my all life. checking devRant at operating room while waiting patient for surgery

😂

So I just created this Registration GUI (part of a bigger app) for my uni project and was demonstrating how good the app was to all my friends.

Suddenly someone came and said let me verify this. I said go on with a doubtful mind. Obviously I had some verification for all the fields in the GUI but I was closely watching him.

He signed up with this email: " @ . "

😞

Writes the DNA of all the species..

If you put a Unix shell up to your ear, can you hear the C?

I was refactoring the most underneath part of our server code and just found 'getUserGender' method. I think for a second:We don't have this info. Look inside:
return name.endsWith('a')?"female":"male";

😑 it's surprising how much it works in Brazil.

Made our wifi password "********" so that when you click "Preview password" you see the same thing. Yes, I have a college degree and yes, that's probably the most clever thing I'll ever be able to do with it.

Height of work pressure:

⚠ I was flashing my ID card instead of unlocking the house door with the keys.

⚠Me and my friends went out for dinner in one of the best restaurants and as I finished, I started walking towards the wash basin with plates in my hand.

⚠I don't login to facebook, youtube, etc.. at my personal internet connection at home... thinking it will be blocked anyway. Till I realized that, I was at home.

⚠Once after talking to one of my friends I ended the conversation saying, "Ok bye... in case of any issues will call you back"

⚠Once I went to a pharmacy and asked for a tab. Pharmacist asked whether I want 250mg or 500mg? I replied 256mb. Thank god he didn't notice.

⚠After a hectic week, went to a movie. In the middle of the movie, when I wanted to check the time, I kept repeatedly glancing at the bottom right corner of the Theatre Screen.

😄So avoid working so hard !😄

Have a great work-life balance.

Lastly...

⚠Extreme Work Pressure:
An employee opens his lunch box on the road side to see, whether he is going to office, or coming back from office.😂😂..

Explaining win zip to a client!

This is how I feel when someone thinks being a developer is easy.

The programmer got stuck in the shower because the instructions on the shampoo bottle said:
"lather, rinse, repeat."

℅®°^£÷×€¶¥^[=€∆®=©$('(#2

I don't judge other developers for not knowing or understanding a particular concept, I judge them for pretending like they do...

knock knock
race condition
who is there?

Real life recursion

`git push origin master --force`

wheiii got my new shirt :P

JavaScript, also known as Java for short…. (can't believe this is real…)

fuck guys my boss is on devrant.

Coding in a CodeJam like.

When my client asks why we can't code to avoid bugs on delivery

🙄🙄🙄