js validation

My favorite word to read in client-written requirement documentation: "Etc"

...Do I look like I have a crystal f-ing ball?

When Back-end try Front-end...

suddenly while you introduce yourself to everyone..

Well played, Google assistant! well played!

That's a great bug

Anything by JetBrains, they just make awesome stuff.

This describes it pretty well.

Git: Poor man's TARDIS

Every time..

The post button should say "Commit"

"Measuring programming progress by lines of code is like measuring aircraft building progress by weight." - Bill Gates

(- _ -)

Food for thought

All internships should be paid

Holy shit, this is fucking awesome

Client side security [via https://reddit.com/r/...]

Am I the only one who's bothered by the fact that in CSS, "!important" doesn't mean "not important" ?

Don't know if it's up here, found it on r/ProgrammerHumor and thought it deserved to be shared :)

Created a batch script to write some filenames to a text file using a loop.

Missed out the echo command, the script tries to open 100+ zip files on a production/potato server (I feel like prodtato should be a word).

Server cries and crashes
Dev cries and crashes

You know those sassy ads that pretend to be interactive but open a new tab instead? Well that's how they named their divs

USB sounds like a backup in case the USA fails

!rant
If repost === true
print ("sorry")
else
print ("😂")

Thanks: twitter@nixcraft

Not me, but a colleague of mine ordered 10,000 pens with <company>.com printed on them - but our company had a .org address.

When you design something and it becomes something else but you're too lazy to re-design it.

Proud dad moment:
My son just worked out how to use a firestick remote to put Thomas on TV.
He's 2.
My parents can barely work their remote without playing 20 questions.
Not long before he learns how to use bash now!

Debugger for rust? Call it wd40.

Got this from a recruiter:

We are looking for a **Senior Android Developer/Lead** at Philadelphia PA

Hiring Mode: Contract

Must have skills:

· 10-12 years mobile experience in developing Android applications
· Solid understanding of Android SDK on frameworks such as: UIKit, CoreData, CoreFoundation, Network Programming, etc.
· Good Knowledge on REST Ful API and JSON Parsing
· Good knowledge on multi-threaded environment and grand central dispatch
· Advanced object-oriented programming and knowledge of design patterns
· Ability to write clean, well-documented, object-oriented code
· Ability to work independently
· Experience with Agile Driven Development
· Up to date with the latest mobile technology and development trends
· Passion for software development- embracing every challenge with a drive to solve it
· Engaging communication skills

My response:

I am terribly sorry but I am completely not interested in working for anyone who might think that this is a job description for an Android engineer.

1. Android was released in September 2008 so finding anyone with 10 years experience now would have to be a Google engineer.
2. UIKit, CoreData, CoreFoundation are all iOS frameworks
3. Grand Central Dispatch is an iOS mechanism for multithreading and is not in Android
4. There are JSON parsing frameworks, no one does that by hand anymore

Please delete me from your emailing list.

My coworker

EXCEL YOU FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT! don't get me wrong, it's usefull and kt works, usually... Buckle up, your i for a ride. SO HERE WE FUCKING GO: TRANSLATED FORMULA NAMES? SUCKS BUT MANAGABLE. WHATS REALLY FUCKED UP IS HTHE GERMAN VERSION!
DID YOU HEAR ABOUT .csv? It stands for MOTHERFUCKING COMMA SEPERATED VALUES! GUESS WHAT SOME GENIUS AT MICROSOFT FIGURED? Hey guys let's use a FUCKING SEMICOLON INSTEAD OF A COMMA IN THE GERMAN VERSION! LET'S JUST FUCK EVERY ONE EXPORTING ANY DATA FROM ANY WEBSITE!

The workaround is to go to your computer settings, YOU CAN'T FUCKING ADJUST THIS IN EXCEL!, change the language of the OS to English, open the file and change it back to German. I mean, come on guys, what is this shit?

AND DON'T GET ME STARTED ON ENCODING! äöü and that stuff usually works, but in Switzerland we also use French stuff, that then usually breaks the encoding for Excel if the OS language is set to German (both on Windows and Mac, at least they are consistent...)

To whoever approved, implemented or tested it: FUCK YOU, YOU STUPID SHITFUCK, with love: me