Just applied to a new job with this as my cover letter.
Wish me luck!

So, basically I write shitty code but on my machine it runs.

This is why I love working where I work. I worked extra hours until 9pm to get an ITest environment ready for one of my customer teams. I came in this morning to a little prezzie and a thank you card signed by the entire customer team. This is what awesome culture looks like.

My wife took the kids to the mall.
I work from home.

me: fuck yeah, I'll be able to work now, since I focus a lot more when there's a lot of silence in the house, looking forward to this coding session
me: *takes the fattest 2 hour nap*

I guess I was tired...

Dev life 😂

My Google Chrome Browser is using more RAM then Adobe Photoshop while it's rendering a photo.

Front End programming is the worst of all worlds.

I am a Full Stack developer that during every interview says "i can do front end stuff if needed". Something gets lost in translation and becomes "I do only front end stuff".

I don't mind front end development, but i hate urgent nitpicking that happens every time. Everyone else on the team works by regular tasks and deliveries (sprints and release dates), but my work consists of being the brush of the creative mind of someone else, that could not figure out how to make a good design before sending it out to me.

I am not a designer, a designer job is a creative one, i am just a brush that the team uses to complain why this button looks wrong on this not designed platform.

i called 11pm-3am my "productive hours"

Since a very christian colleague joined my team, i learned how important cursing is in order to do this job. I honestly can’t do my work without the occasional diarrhea of foul words.

The greatest trick the programmer ever pulled was convincing the client bugs didn't exist.

Alright i have a confession
I left devrant a week ago (2000++) and made a new account cause i love it here

Programmer's son asks his father:
Dad, why do the sun rises on the east and sets on the west ?

Father: It works ! Do not dare to touch it.

API is down - can't do anything

Shouldn't it be ++ instead of +1? :D

Every college project gets to the "fuck it, I'm submitting this crap" stage.