To all new devs:
- Your language of choice is fine.
- There is no superior way to indent, yours is fine.
- Your IDE is fine.
- Your OS is fine.

Unless you work in my team, of course.

My project manager sent this to me today.

During a random school project.

Me: *Explains why team members idea is bad*

Team member: *Im going to do it like this anyways.*

Me: *add explaination of why idea is bad to git commit log.*

1 week later: some parts of the project dont work like they are suppost to.

Team member: *dude can you help me bla bla....(encounters issue i mentioned regarding his idea)*

Me: *no, i've already got too much on my plate. please, sort it out yourself....*

At the presentation

Teacher: *ask question about problem*

Team member: *tries to blame the problem on me....*

Me: *shows git commit log to teacher*

Me: *passing grade*

Team member: *failing grade*

Justice served.

Team work!

Finally sharing my desk! The team is allowed to work in a dark room, the proper environment for developers.

// repost \\
To all new devs:
• Your language of choice is fine.
• There is no superior way to indent, yours is fine.
• Your IDE is fine.
• Your OS is fine.

Unless you work in my team, of course.

Just left a job where I felt like one of the best devs on the team. At my new job I feel I have so much to learn from the devs I work with. I'm so happy. :)

In Switzerland/Germany we have an abbreviation TEAM: "Toll Ein Anderer Macht's" which means "Hurray another one/stupid is doing all the work". I think that nails it.

After months of agonizing work I found out my team mate deleted my code cause they thought it was useless. Then they come back and ask if I KNOW WHERE THE BUG IS. I now realize how true this is.

my team: "lets get rid of materialize it doesnt work too well w/ react"

my team: *deletes materialize*

my team: *accidentally pushes to prod*

me: "guys why are we back in 2003"

PM: 2 months? no thats way too long, do it in 1.

Director: I had a chat with someone else who doesn't work on this team, he says that developer you complained about is a good guy and we should keep him on the team.

Business: No, we don't have time for tech debt, lets build these new features as quick as possible and lets see where we are.

everyone: WHAT DO YOU MEAN IT CRASHED AGAIN??? THIS IS UNACCEPTABLE

It's funny how a man gets something done and gets a "Good work, John!".

But, a woman gets the same thing done, and gets "Good work, team!".

#RealFuckingStory #ItHappenedToMe

No wonder my team is so pleased with my work... Person I replaced seemed to have issues...

I work in a scrum team of 6 persons.
We have the same IP address and we get ads based on what everyone else was searching. Sometimes shit just gets akward

This is why I love working where I work. I worked extra hours until 9pm to get an ITest environment ready for one of my customer teams. I came in this morning to a little prezzie and a thank you card signed by the entire customer team. This is what awesome culture looks like.

Latest from my team,
One of the Dev copied code from a stackoverflow question.

Got same exception as highlighted in the question and started complaining that his code does not work.

"Next time, well do it properly from the start." - Every team, at the end of every project.

"Can you work on this ticket? It's kind of urgent."

-- "OK"

"And could you please not refactor? Just get this done."

-- "Why? What's the issue?"

"The logic is complex. We should not break it."

-- "Erm, that's what the tests are for. So yes, if the need arises, I'll refactor. The tests are my guidelines if the logic breaks or not."

There's a reason we create tests. So let's not hinder code base improvements by some random fear that stuff might break.

If breaks due to refactoring, we'll fix it by adding a valid test case during and then fixing the bug.

If my refactoring does not break the tests, I'll assume the code base is stable.

If your code is untested, then we have a complete different problem.

I was hired to create a MailChimp clone for internal use. Since then, more than half of the marketing team has been fired because their work is not needed anymore.

My team are the best coworkers I've had. Admittedly I'm only 4 years into my professional career, but my team makes me stay with my current job.

My team do a lot of silly things to keep everyone in a good mood, and stress free. This week we've had a game where in a quote moment you just yell the name of a primitive type (like BOOL). Why? No idea, but we're enjoying it.

We also have a chicken hat that we named Barry. He sits with people on their desk to do code reviews and such. When people leave they get their own Barry to take with them to their new job. We introduce people to him as a regular member of the team.

Sometimes work sucks. Being a developer can be hard, and can be stressful. Working with this team makes it worth it.

Development is a team sport.

If you think you can do something better but your team doesn't understand it or can't work with them. You have two options: Teach them or don't do it.

This task seems easy but teach and tell are different things. Prepare to repeat things over and over again and give up your own time to share the knowledge.

If you want to go fast, work alone.
If you want to go far, work in team.

Fuck the team, I'm going fast.

Your first day at work be like:
"If your new team doesn’t use git, announce your resignation immediately and walk out."

Worst. Fucking. News. "Your work is going to start getting outsourced. It's only $10/hr in India. Yes your job is at risk. Yes this includes the whole team of 10 people." Fuckkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk

Dear sales team please stop promising the customer stuff that doesn't exist within the system and then promising them dates for getting said functionality without discussing it with the product team let alone the development team. Also repeating 'but I promised the customer they'd have it by august' will not make 6 months of development work fit into that time frame!

First day of work,
team lead asked me to study and read the source code.
Opened one file...

I didn't know any one of them, we just meet at the TADHack last week end. Because my team members apologies at the last moment, I joined one of them who forgot his laptop. The third came after five minutes asking "can I join"?
We established a team from three different backgrounds, and started the work. Each one built what he know, and we integrated all of it together.
Luckily, we won.... I enjoyed these weekend...

!rant

I complained during a dev team review about the too many dev calls/meetings we have that are supposed to improve our productivity but instead feel like interrupting our work and line of thoughts when focusing on something.

I expected the team lead to bash me or say "Nooo, these meetings are important bla bla bla" but he received it quite positively and already changed how we do things.

When you group asks you to write some code to kick two people out of the team randomly.... and you are one of them :(

My Co-Workers/Team are the only reason I stay at my job. Lots of shenanigans go down & we all know how to have fun and make light of our shitty work load and rude clients. 😜🤓 (this pic is 1/2 my team)

A: Can you tell me your opinion about this? Please, be honest.
Me: Ok, I think you could do it in a different way, but let's talk about what you did and see how to make it better...
A: I don't think so, I think this is the best way to do it.
Me: Oh, OK.
A: Why are you always complaining about my job?
Me: Well, you just asked me, and I work on this too, so I thought...
A: I don't think you're collaborative enough with me!
Me [walking away]: Oh, OK...

At 4pm, after 6 hours of work of migrating from mysql to mongodb...
I am drinking coffee with my team.
Boss, comes from somewhere and asks...

what do you all want? (What he meant was, go back to work you all)

One of my team member- (angry and agitated) says-- a comfortable sofa.

Holy fuck, i laughed my ass out.

Guess what happend next...

You're so inconsistent you could work in the php core team.

Just started my new job.

Poorly defined requirements ✅
Expecting things to be done yesterday ✅
Poorly managed teams ✅
Terrible legacy code ✅
Half the development team is offshore ✅

Maybe I’m just selfish, but I need to work in an environment that has the following

A good technology stack.
A competent manager/team leader.
Competent colleagues.
Clearly defined documentation.
A proper onboarding process.

Why is this so difficult to find in organisations?

Client - "We absolutely totally 100% neeeeeeeeed this plugin added to our wp site that another team built. "

Team - "Nope sorry you can't have it the plugin was deprecated 2 years ago, and the service you want to pull a feed from dost work like that any more. Here are other options A B C D. "

Client - "No we want it. You have to make it work or we are cancelling our account."

Team - "see ya"

Today is my first day at work, I hope the team will be great 😁

My instincts are telling me that i should resign from this company asap.

My team lead knows a to z of the project and he is the all rounder guy here. If my team lead leaves, I could be the one replacing him. But i don't want to accept this kind of responsibility.

My life goal is to not get sucked into the 9 to 5 life or work in this kind of environment.

The only pro i find is that i now have few more cool friends.

But I'd rather be be my own boss and work 24/7.

I now feel like living a lie going to work everyday..

I am officially hired as an Associate Business Analyst ! I made an internship as an Analyst Developper and the company enjoyed my work so they ask me if I wanted to join the team ! 🎉

Guess who is the one who deals with the merges and Deploy.... yep, not my partner :/

Recruiter:

... the bank purchased a 3rd party tool and hired a 3rd party development team to add some features to the tool. That external team hired their own 3rd party team, and now there are 400+ bugs in the system. Would you like to work as a test-automation lead on this project?

Me: Fuuuucck no.

So due to contracted work I am in a team internal chat, yesterday morning I woke up to a notification with a full group tag with "we need to remove all fags, they don't work out the way we planned" - he meant to type tags - there's two members that are gay and got hired just recently lol

git commit -am "doing work of <team_mate_name>"

Post Anger Rant (Beware, Long rant ahead)

So there is this project we have been working for months, most of the devs involved are jr students so I was leading them in the architecture and what to do and they were doing it, the progress was slow but safe and fun.

On the team there was this guy, someone I trusted and in who I had special interest for his skills, so I let him own the github repo.

So the day of the first demo I pull the backend changes ( I had been working on front end ) and I realize that the code was different, so I started using my super awesome forensic skills to find what happened,and when I say different I mean a totally different architecture different database connections, different service pirts, basically other project, so during my criminal investigation I found out this guy I trusted had never really worked with us, from the beginning he went solo working on his own project and changing everything because of some tutorial he found on the internet, so I decided to reset to the previous version just to find out that he had already deployed the code and that a lot of fixes that we should have were only on his version.

So I went and confront him telling him that he did wrong and he had to learn team work and that I was trying to teach them good practices and he waits and asks me "so, my code was wrong?" Seriously what da hell dude? I'm talking about team work and all you can think about is your code.

Finally he admitted his mistake and repented (I think), but seriously how arrogant must you be to ignore a whole team, specially when on your first real project.

Huge dev-team presentation today with YouTube livestream link available to all clients.

Management wanted us to test our laptops, connections and cables to the bone, so that every computer will work 100% while the stream is running.

You know what didn't work?
The goddamn streaming camera device.

flailing startup layed off my entire team without warning...

...and no one asked us how our custom tools work or how we performed our business-critical tasks. #goodLuck

Today’s achievement: my phone didn’t autocorrect ‘fucking’ to ‘ducking’.

Clearly it’s as pissed off as I am about receiving shitty emails from the other team manager in my dept giving me and my team work to do and throwing us under the bus when he does jack shit all day except read BBC news and go on Facebook. On the odd occasion he does actually do work, it’s not good work, it’s riddled with bugs because he’s ‘too senior to need a code peer review’. Such a fucktard...

Oh, and the work he’s asked us to do technically sits in his team so I’ll be firing that straight back at him 😁

I’m all for being a team player and helping each other but I’m going to protect my team over helping someone. The gloves are about to come off....

Since a very christian colleague joined my team, i learned how important cursing is in order to do this job. I honestly can’t do my work without the occasional diarrhea of foul words.

He fails at managing his time and can't finish his tasks in work days ... suggests to work on the weekend and drags the whole team with him.

Sorry mate, but I ain't fucking working on weekend !

Team lead my ass 😡😡

Anyone work with other developers who take 3 times as long as you to do things, spend all day talking, get nothing done, so you have to pick up the slack? Fucking annoying.

!rant
I'm currently helping a junior developer in my team to get on board. He is new to Linux and whenever I ask him to work on vi editor, I get to see that look on his face!

When new developers join in your team, please make a time and help them to get confidence with the project they will work on. Besides the project's documentation there is a human factor that can make the difference between a just another dev team and a great one.

At work.
Because i really like my work, my setup, my team and the whole company.

When there's no time for UX and you let the Dev team work on the design.

| Me and my team presenting an half-assed AI project to our lecturer.
Note that the algorithm doesn't work and we have a placeholder |
Lecturer after looking only at the UI: The project looks very good, I believe we are done here.
Team member: Don't you want to check the code?
Me: *trying to choke him without anyone noticing*
Lecturer: No need.
Lives were saved that day.

You know it's gonna be a good Friday when the dev team takes a work trip to the store to get beer.

Happy Friday everyone!

[ ] be humble, but not unconfident.
[ ] Step out of your comfort zone. Don't apply to a job that is exactly like your last one.
[ ] A good team is the most important thing for a developer. Intelligent, and nice people to work with and to learn from is more important than the salary difference between jobs.
Try to 'feel' for a good team. Ask to be introduced or to look around when you finish the interview.

I am on a team of 2 currently at work.

I am assigned to build some custom code for a customer going live with our product soon.

Because my team mate is already working on another customers project I explained the work may not be done in time because we were not given sufficient notice for our team of two to plan for the project.

Sales team contact me later that day asking me why I told our customer we don't have enough resources.

He wanted me to find a better phrase to tell them like "We have half our team dedicated to your project."

Another reason to hate our sales team 🤪

Took a bit of time, but yesterday I sent in my resignation letter, long and some wat detailed list of grievances against the guy running the project.

Gonna suck to leave the team, but working for that man was tantamount to torture.

He actually gave me a lecture on Monday for not forcing my team to work unesesarry over time, because he can do nothing but make changes. I was also trouble for not doing his job and not treating my team like shit, as he does. According to him, forced overtime, disrespect are just the way leadership is.

Seeing on some other posts I wanted to rant about my uni’s computer science community.

Some background: This is a small uni, not like a community college definitely a little bigger. Located somewhere in WV. There is 2-4 girls in every CS class I have had and at least 27-30 guys.

The reason why I mention this is because there is no sense of team work at all. When it comes to exams or projects I take the initiative and make either quizlets (being freaking nice here) share them or take times after school in the library to work on projects. If I have a solution I will share it, I will try to help you in your problem. If I know how to do it of course.

The real issue is all those CS experts that already fixed or finished their programs, the ones on the top of the class. Is as if the moment I ask something related to the project I am already dumb for not have figured it out on my own.

There is the typical CS student that just tries and gives up or just gives up without trying and the other kind of CS student that does that. Doesn’t help anybody else, wants to be on the top all the time.

What I am trying to say here is that it just feels like a competition all the time. (I consider myself in between this two types of students cause I wasn’t born a genius but I do try my ass off on projects) however, I feel like guys see me every new semester in a CS class and think “oh wow how is she still here? Wait did she pass?”

All I say is “yeah I fucking did, with a C or B but here”. So I don’t know, first rant posted 👏🏽🙆🏽‍♀️

In my current project my team lead created a revolutionary framework, which is capable to automate any manual work..

Here is its source code..

public class AutomateFW {

public Object automate(Object manualWork) {

// Call jr developers and assign them work :)
callFreshers(manualWork);

}

Found out today my boss told the team lead to put an unfinished part of the software that I'm developing into production so the clients 'could look at it already'. Team lead claims he objected but boss insisted. So now our error logs are filling up with lines every time it silently fails, and the pressure is on even harder to make it work asap. This has been going since the start of the week and I found out about it now. Boss told team lead it looks better to the clients this way. Meanwhile I'm just thanking the heavens this at least couldn't cause data loss. Probably. *panic intensifies*

Today I got fired (I work for a outsourcing company and was the client that "fired me") and the reason was that the work load was low.... funny thing is that they contested a new dev for my team and she is staying only because she is in the same office as the main team and I'm on a different office.

How fucked up is this?

My previous boss disappeared for a week and didn't tell us why. We thought the team was gonna get fired because of him and I even started looking for a new job. The team got fired, but they kept me for some other work.

Me: soooo can you get this done by next week?
Other dev: well who knows what rabbit hole I'll fall down. There's no way to tell.
Me: can you just avoid falling down a rabbit hole? We have a deadline.
Other dev: oh ya there's no way to know for sure.
Me: ....... Can you please try harder
Other dev: I'm trying I can't.
Me: ................

Just saw this on FB..

Well I don't do much Webdev but that won't work for sure.

The first closing bracket ends the function Block -.-
Nice try Marketing team

It's not that my work is hard. Basically, all the work I do these days is something I've done before with a slight twist on it.

I just feel underappreciated.

"bUt u mAkE sO mUcH mOnEy dO uR jObBbb!!"

How much money I make should not suppress how I feel at a company. Two years without a raise, every company meeting is a circle jerk for the sales team, and whenever our work is mentioned it's "Great job to the PMs for getting this to our clients."

Fuck you guys. Lol. This is a team effort from all sides, but to put engineers last on the "kudos" ladder is just so shitty.

I hate my team devs.
Why can't they just do good work.
I will kill myself.

God, don't you love it when your team COMPLETELY IGNORES all the work you do, dismisses it outright, and then acts rude to you? And then when they do take one of your suggestions, they say 'wow you ACTUALLY contributed' as if you haven't been trying to contribute the whole time only to get ignored?!

Me: "hey we should do this new project in react!"
Boss: "no he barrier to entry is to tough for our team"

Boss talks to past employee(which he had to let go because he was a TERRIBLE developer who now works for facebook....) about new project, past employee recommends react....

Team is now going to work on a new project written with react......

When being at work for just after 7am is considered normal by the entire team :(

Time management tips one must follow to be successful:-

1. Remove distractions:- Phone, Whatsapp, Instagram, FB, etc. All away from you during work.

2. Remove clutters: Get rid of not required things.

3. Eliminate redundancy

4. Emulate others: (My favourite) If someone has spend time and done some work. Do not reinvent the same work done just replicate that work and continue from that point.

5. Share burden: Team work and depending on others is not bad.

6. Make work fun: Most important if you enjoy your work you will give your best.

It fucking annoys me when some people at my work place pronounce GUI as "gooey"! what the fuck!

* Gooey team has done this... Blah blah *

Wtf gooey? What? Who d fuck says G U I gooey... 👿👿

Company switched some users from windows 7 to windows 10 overnight. Installation failed for most of the Dev team.

- No admin access
- Files missing
- Programs missing

Result : we can't work :/

*wild LinkedIn notification appears*

>Opens LinkedIn
>Sees a video of dogs being dogs
>Reads caption something along the lines of "team work and dedication helps the universe to fight global warming and terrorism "
>*Eye rolls*

5 of us working for a larger team were tasked with doing some R&D, we blew everyone away and were given funding to start a new team and hire people to make the project come to life.

One of the high level sales / product managers we were reporting to, secretly had another team work on a similar idea because he needed it quicker (i.e. no time for research, just build it).

After forming new team, we were asked to work on his project instead because it was further along. 4 months later, big knob comes to a meeting and basically says "You know what, this doesn't look like we have enough features, we need more, but I don't know what".

Project blew up 2 months later, head of the unit kicked up a shit storm saying how badly everything was planned and canned everything. Now one of our clients is building nearly the same thing we were originally working on, the team no longer exists and i'm back on the R&D team.

Don't get me wrong, I LOVE the R&D team, actually didn't want to leave in the first place but was told I had to. But the sheer anger and frustration to see that walking cluster fuck strutting around like his shit doesn't stink, derailing entire teams, meanwhile we can't hire new staff due to lack of funding.

Heres an idea, fire the fucktards bleeding us dry ... then we'll have lots of funding.

Gave the office a pack of paperclips.

Whole team has been playing like cats. Not much work was done today.

How do you tolerate a colleague who

- Fails to work as a team member, is inherently lazy and writes software that is simply horrendous
- Blatantly takes the easy road and even admits to it
- Has no sense of pride in the work they do
- Is your supervisor

I guess I've just got the ideal dev job. Working from home, with nice people in my team and enough time to deliver quality work.

That horrible feeling that you're holding the team back as a junior dev.

What took me two days of struggle, it took the senior dev a glance to solve the issue.

Literately took them less than 10seconds to complete the task which I spent two days both at work and after work of debugging and research to try and solve.

Why are they paying me to work here.

So the team I work on has this giant blue alien doll, the "build break" doll. You break the production build, you get the doll until someone else breaks it. I was wondering if some of the other devs have some fun things they do with their team. ^-^

When your team wants to do daily scrum but there's only four of you and you work for different clients.

You should try, too. It's a very interesting language

My tech lead (or senior). I had been unmotivated with my dev life until I joined their team. He lit the fire in me by inspiring me and challenging me with my work. Sadly he left the team after 3 months but I'm thankful because he saved me from burn out.

Best: Writing my first bash script, understanding Object Oriented programming

Worst: Dealing with team members who claim to have work experience but in reality have no clue why they are doing what they are doing

My current new boss is pretty awesome. When he arrived, we were a lot of juniors dev crumbling under pressure. He directly went to product team and to sales team and totally reduced our workload to something acceptable.
He values sane work environment a lot, and I think that's what make a good boss

So this week we had another team come to us and say they need to go into production...only issue...they have nothing...sorry that's wrong they have something...a vbs script to do their installation which doesn't work...

Have to work from home for at least a few weeks..

i hate working from home..
my team Is all the social life i have. Already miss them after 1 day.

It drives me crazy when I'm in the middle of coding and another dev member from my team interrupts my session to tell me something completely unrelated to work 😡

Senior group project in college.

When you decide to meet up and one member doesn't show up at first meeting.

So I sent an email about the research I did on the feasibility of the project and how to implement a core requirement. 2 days later & no response yet..

Why do I think I'm gonna be the one the pull off the application by myself & then have to put name of people who have no idea how I got it to work..

When manager scolds you for the team but there was some other lazy ass who didn't put his work in place.

When me and 2 friends/officemates of mine, formed a freelance team to work part time for us to pay the bond contract on our full time job. We were able to leave 9 months after forming the team.

Every new joiney in a team is like a person entering in room from bright sunlight.

They keep on suggesting until their pupil get dilated and they see the creature they have to work on.

Half elephant, parts horse and parts bear suppose to do work of T-Rex.

Me apprentice 18 years old in germany: I don’t want to go in another team
Also me in the new team after 2 days: playing with my new boss during work CSGO and say everyone we are to busy with the big project

When your new team-members don't commit their code end of day Friday and you end up working the whole holiday weekend to fix their shitty work while they're away for the week....
Joys of being a team-lead..

Just accept a position on the dev team at work!

Me been in the company for almost more than a year now and still understanding the system.
Another developer, been here for around 4 months, and where ever I look, she will be contributing. Whether it's coding or resovling complex host issues. She works a lot.
I feel lucky to be able to work with her and also all other Devs in this team are awesome.
My motivational source and inspiration to work harder and contribute more and more to the team.

Starts PHP development team which will deploy on Debian... all developers must work on Windows :/

I got moved to a new team. My old team was truly agile, and my manager was very "off hands" and actually let us work.

My new team is an older team that practices a bloated abomination called SAFe Agile, and the manager gets into all the details to the point of removing autonomy.

Shoot me please.

Paradise lost.

Joined a development team.

Work as a support guy ...

Damned

Does anyone else feel like they're the smartest, most experienced dev on the team. And there's like a huge gap between your and everyone else?

So you have your own work and things you want to do, but end up spending a lot of time helping or fixing everyone else's whenever they get stuck?

So in the end you can barely get your own work done and never get any free time to do the things you really want to work on/learn?

Devs: There is to much work for the team size, can we say no or wait to the business?
Mgmt: Here are some staff aug contractors.

Later

Devs: They are screwing things up.
Mgmt: Then manage them better, it’s your work they are doing.

My lead always steal my work and showcase it has his work to the manager. I always look for a chance to trap him in front of Manager.

One fine day, He gave me an work which has to completed on Monday, I sit over the weekend and finished it’s but partially committed it.

He is a blind thief, As always he says that he himself completed over the weekend.

While running in front of the manager they face huge issues because it’s a half cooked product. Manager purposely sent an email to our team without mentioning the name of my lead.

After few days my lead silently put paper and left the team.

Trying to work on team india's code 😒🔫. How can so many simple concepts be made so insanely difficult. Language is not the only barrier in the workfield

> Get told my teams​ products don't work
> I say file a ticket so we know and can assist
> No tickets filed after 4 weeks,
> Team still complains my teams products don't work

Who else has mindless complainers?

I love when everybody in a team get along well with each other. Makes us so productive!!

Being a team leader some times sucks have to take responsibility for everyone's elses functionality that doesn't work or wasn't tested in production. Leads often ends up working overtime fixing everyone elses work :(

My team member was struggling with his .json files, so to cheer him up, I came up with a joke;

"Don't worry, if the program doesn't work, I'll be your yaaaii son"

Told department lead several of us devs are considering quitting due to low wage and insane workload.
Result: Team spirit questionaires and team building gathering.
No extra pay and now even less time to get work done.

Seriously, fuck sports fans. Imagine having to relate every conceivable concept through a scenario in sport to understand it.

"How does that work?"
"Okay, so imagine you've got this team, right..."

Just found out today that may FINALLY be able to start charging for the development work our team does. 😎

Just have to wonder why this could have happened ages ago.

**Spoilers**
It was the sales team. That's why!

I’m getting fed up of working from home. I now get changed in the morning and wax my hair to feel like I’m going to work, even if I have no team meetings!

If I ever get the chance to start my own company or pick out the dev team I work with... I will never, ever, ever work with anyone who doesn't understand how to abstract out a problem. Our prod DB is a mess and our API is a mess because we left it to some dudes who are dumb as shit and doing everything ad-hoc. Now their ad-hoc shit doesn't work anymore and I get to clean it up. 😫😞FML

When you want to change team cuz the work has become boring, but they don't wanna let you go :/
Time for job change?

We're having a favorite hackathon projects vote at work tomorrow. Basically each team are given 5 minutes to present their project and we'll vote the most interesting project for a favorite project award.

I'll give my vote to whichever team confuse me the quickest.

How can I just "chill"?!

Our project's demo is coming up soon and since we there only two in the team we have to work together.

I did all the coding and my so-called "team mate" just watched behind my back or refreshed the git!!!!

And we get the same pay. 😧😤

F.M.L.

I was hired to a working team that is full of experienced people who know how to code but half the team is awfull at solving problems, and all they do is blame each other... why cant they understand we are one team and rather work on solution for 30 minutes they spent deciding who fucked up...

I had a team lead once that would come into my office multiple times a day to sit and talk. Not about work. Not even about development. Just to talk.

Disappointed to be an intern at a place where we were given a website project where I'm the only experienced coder. Not learning anything new and I work all day while my team watches videos.

Your "feature" just became my problem. Your "great idea" is now my migraine. What you did in 300 lines, another team was already doing in 5.

The next time you `brew install...` on your laptop, you should fucking think that the infra team has to install those dependencies, on every server, too.

In less time than it took you to create your code, I could have given you several functions to call. I could have saved all of us weeks of work. Fucking ask cross-team before you cowboy code your next big idea please.

Got a problem you need to be solved, somebody else probably solved it, just fucking ask.

"My code" only exists when you work alone on your precious project. Do not carry over that mindset when you work with a team or you will just ignite another endless holy war

Team member knows x better than me?

No fucking way am I gonna ask them to do it. Even if I have to learn the whole damn thingamajig from scratch. Coffee and some Halo OST are all I need, baby!

(In fairness to myself, said teammate is a bit of a hijacker when it comes to helping...)

I blame JetBrains team Everytime I work with sublime. Those wasted hours trying to figure out wtf is going on with my code and my only mistake is that I forget to save my work....

Job offer be like:

"You will be working from home with mostly flexible hours although you will need to attend the team meeting which is at approximately 8:30am GMT and to work for 3 hours after this time for team collaboration"

That feeling when you're the only one of your team sitting at your desk and you cannot shake of that nagging doubt:

Did I miss a meeting?

I have *created* a new team member :) I think he alone could replace most of the team.

Kind of makes you think what have we been doing with our time all those years. If all that work can be automated :/

[day 1] my team lead insisted that we work "together" on a story. told me to code my approach while he code his then evaluate both once done.
[day 3] we presented our codes to the team but in the end his code got deployed.
[day 4- 7]we got a lot of defects. we did a lot of fixing
[day 8] undeployed his code then deployed mine.
all problems got solved.

Feeling like a boss! 😎

Long story short:
Solved a formating issue in a program at work by using ancii code 32.

Even my team lead didn't think of that solution!

Introduce Git - Promote Collaboration
In the real world they won't work alone. Instead of giving individual projects give them a module to work for.

Example project: Library System
Student 1: Sign-up module
Student 2: Log-in module
Student 3: Book sorting module
Student n: x module

Output: A working system

With this approach, students will learn to work with a team and communicate properly about the project they're working for.

I work on many projects at work. There's divisions of teams and each team typically has one project. Each one of those projects have weekly Sprint meetings.

That's great! For the team. That means each team has one meeting a week so it's not too disruptive for those individuals.

Me on the other hand? I've got my hand in all the buckets. I'm on every team. I'm the only person on every team. This means I get to go to every meeting.

Let me rephrase that:
This means I -have- to go to every. Single. Meeting.

Which means I have a meeting every. Single. Day. Even if I didn't touch that project that week.

It is literally THE biggest waste of time. I sit there in a 1-2 hour long meeting saying absolutely nothing, not even being spoken to. I could be working on other projects.

And these meetings normally interrupt something I'm working on. Conveniently in the middle of me being in my zone. It makes me completely un-motivated to work for the hour before the meeting because why bother if I'm just going to get interrupted? And then it takes an hour to get back into everything after the meeting because everyone is fooling around or complaining about the meeting.

So that's three hours of my 8 hour work day completely wasted.

if you work in IT, don't address your team as 'warriors'. Especially if that team has over 1000 people.

The team in our office was forced to have, and I'm not kidding, TWO hours long agile meetings EVERY day. That's right, only 6 hours a day for work. Crazy managers

Wow! New devRant IOS upgrade released today has some really cool new features! They must have a team of 10 coders or 1 @dfox and 1 @trogus. Great work guys!

Start my days at 6am local to be able to have an entire days’ worth of access to my team because they’re all East Coast and I’m Pacific. And then work until it’s 5pm local regularly because I lose track of time. And then I can’t just turn it off at night, so then I’m restless thinking about the things I could be doing to make the project better.

How the hell do the rest of you stop thinking about work after work?

The marketing team at my work could be turned into an anime.

My first job was in a team of 20 ppl. They are super friendly and skillful. I still work there.

Got through an entire day at work with just a "good morning" and "have a good weekend". Team was focused today - it was a good day!

When your the only one who wants to use Docker in your work but your team won't.

You told the design team this won't work on a large scale
Design team: Well we designed it, so, fuck you !
You: Does the implementation...
End Product: * Doesn't work *

Design Team: Why isn't it working, suggest a workaround

* Facepalm *
* Dead Inside *
* Give me Death Note plox *

Hello, devs! I'm an intern at a mobile games company. I used to work with the game development there, but today I started my work in the support/tools team. Am so glad I can use Linux and ruby there *-*

I work in a big corporate world where I felt really out of place at first. I didn’t enjoy working there, I could not understand why people would work so hard to keep all the systems happy. No one thanked them, no one gave the smart people maintaining the important systems any credits. I did not understand. Why did they care so much for these systems?

My team split. We were too many with too many systems to care for. After this my team was a lot smaller and therefore I ended up in a more important role. I was forced to do these tasks the more senior engineers had done before me, in the previous team. This was the greatest thing that could happen to me, and I started to like coming into work. Now our team is big again but I’m one of the senior people in it. Not senior as in years active in the industry but senior as in knows the most about our systems and our work environment. I work hard to constantly share my knowledge and try to put the newer members in situations where they also have to take responsibility.

Don’t be afraid to put important tasks on junior or new people. They might fuck up but they will learn, as will you. Don’t hog your knowledge and your team will thank you.

So I need your advice guys. Our team is in crisis mode right now because of a vendor's attempt to extort money out of us. So for the next 6 months I am going to be taken off development and made to do sysadmin work...which I hate.

There is another team at work that was trying to woo me over to their team, working in security...which I love.

So would it be a dick move to leave my struggling team that is trying to use a hammer as a screwdriver and do what makes me happy? Or should I be a good person and do work that makes me miserable and go home and drink every night instead?

Guys, serious question.

I work in a startup as a cto. We have a very low budget and considering hiring people offshore.

Does anyone have some experience in hiring and piloting a remote team? Would you recommend it?

Students should have to teach each other concepts. This promotes collaboration, reinforces learned information, and makes people less douchey to work with on a team.

So we worked on a masterpiece of a Webapp in our team at work and we were presenting it to our team members and nothing worked...

Absolute fail... We fixed everything now but the effect is gone.

When it’s Friday afternoon and you don’t want to work anymore after a loooong week in your web agency...

Caption : your communication is dickhead ? We have a team of cocks !

Question; if you've got a team member who's been phoning it in during the last few sprints and their inattention causes extra work for others, what do you do?

- Have a private word directly one to one.
- Say nothing but bitch amongst yourselves
- Complain to the team lead
- Call them out during a daily standup and tell them they're producing shit.

Any opinions?

A very suspicious thing happened at work last Friday, security team told me to uninstall adblockplus and disconnect.me plugin 😟

Wooh! I finally have some work, I'm now the composer for a small dev team, unpayed of course, but this is a fangame, a passion project. I'm so happy!

Fixed something that was giving our team a lot of trouble. Teammate asks, "How did you fix that?!?". I said, "I'm a code whisperer." Which really just means I whispered to the code, "Please work. Why won't you work. I just need you to work." The code replied, "Okay, but just this once. And only because you've been in the fetal position crying about me for two hours."

So apparently my computer is autonomous and talks now. What about you guys?

this really happened:
Interface Team Lead: "hey I want any time deployments and better QA"

Me: "ok sure. I have CI/CD, but yiu need to work in feature branches / tags, and make sure your code passes automated builds and unit tests"

Team Lead: "I dont have time to test it makes me unproductive! and creating a branch is an extra step which is going to set me back. Im telling the boss you are impacting performance!"

Me: "you want better deployments and QA, but you can even create a branch or tes your work?"

Team Lead: "We have deadlines!"

It is now apparent to me that I need to work in an environment where managers empower their development team to choose the correct tools and processes for the job.

Anybody else sometimes do not like being a team lead?

I am the senior most person in my team (in fact took interviews of the rest of them). While I love the work and the team, I sometimes feel that I do not get to code that much. I am mostly assigning work, or helping others. Even if I get in the zone, there is always someone who needs some assistance or some meeting, which breaks the flow. Also the tension about non technical stuff like salary increments, giving feedback and assigning backups. I do love it mostly, but my ass is nearly always on fire. The team loves me though. I am still young, took this responsibility because the owner trusted me with this (he has no complaints). Thoughts ?

why don't they like the interns at work? one little mistake, and you're fucked. everyone thinks you weren't a good choice to work on that team. they think if i'm an intern (and especially - a girl) then i'm dumb... like??? honestly, it makes me feel so bad and i myself start to feel like i'm truly dumb :(

The moment when client test team rejects a fix as it "doesn't work" when it's clear they haven't read the documentation 😂

Once I went for this women-centric hackathon that had to have at least one female member in the team. On winning, one of the other winning (male) devs commented on how I was probably there just to complete the team even when I did most of the work.
Don't know if it's the fact that I have green hair or the fact that I'm a girl.

Okay so to start, I'm going though a hard time mentally right now, anxiety(social) depression and autism just to set some context.

I work remotely cause it's the easiest way for me to deal with my mental struggles, I don't have to speak to people in the office, I can just do my job and then enjoy my day after.

We have a Christmas party at the end of the year... I physically don't think I have it in me to show up.

Is this bad?

I bailed on our last team event because I was struggling.

I don't want to bail all these times then have people think I'm not a team player etc.

My boss already knows of my struggles, so do I just be honest or make up some bullshit excuse... yet again?

Start a business, it'll be fun they said. One of those days you'll realise that you're in a situation where you'll have to fire a friend from your engineering team, there's no way around it..

People keep on thinking and saying
"You're so lucky, you can choose the clients and the team, and work whenever you want to.."

Yep. Highest highs and lowest lows go hand in hand. Thank god there's both.

Realising that group projects meant the best member of the team does all the work and the rest just sit around back seat driving 😅

Rant

Team lead has no idea whats going in project , who is doing what work , nothing at all. Come to our team once a week and got award for successfully managing the project.
Real bullshit

that moment when you run project it works fine but when you run in front of collogues or team lead it won't work😞

I am being transferred to a new team. New team has started assigning work, but the current team has not yet released me.

So I end up working 80% of my time in the current team and 40% in my new team.

I'd like to in any job in an R&D team dedicated to trying out the latest tech and hack prototypes out... That wouldn't even be work, workafrolic daily.

I was moved from a team I loved where I felt my tech leads were competent, where my tech leads valued my skills and my manager was fabulous and excelled at making sure everyone had the resources they needed and was rewarded for good work, to a team where my tech leads are inconpetent and constantly treat all the junior devs with condescension. Additonally, although my new manager seems nice and has good intentions, she is focused too much on the results of work and not the morale of her team. Consequently, she consistently ignores the negative feedback that is given about the tech leads because "the tech lead gets the results"

Java Dev: "Does Josh's team own this java service?"
Scrum Master: "They did the dev work but we own it."
Java Dev:

When your boss ask to convert the system to the new framework version, but still ask the other team add new module. Then said why your work never done hmmm.

I am in this weird situation, where I work with a pretty cool team and have an awesome commute to work, and a nice salary. But I don't like the actual work that I am doing, nor the why I our team is run. Due to some personal events coming up and being still fairly new in the job I also don't want to switch (yet). Does somebody have/had similar experiences?

I have a dream.
One day I will work in a team where everyone contributes equally.

What is the point of working on a team in an open work environment if the only interaction I have with them is during our twice-weekly stand up?

Pro TIP :

If you have a lot of work and SOMEONE from your team is disturbing you every hour,
Move away (alone) to a meeting room, away from your stupid teammates for one day. For High productivity work.

on every company i worked for, i always had this "senior" team mate that seems really knowledgeable with the way he talks and just by looking at his resume but doesn't reflect on his work. smh

After an important meeting where you actually get to give feedback and share some of your ideas for new features or bug fixes, one of the managers sends a follow-up email to the team telling you to get features done, like they were his suggestions.

Manager “I'd like you to work on.... “

Me "Right, that's what I wanted to work on... "

Join a team that understands technical debt and actively squashes it...

Yes I am having a bad day, or should I say month, because I have to work to pay down other people's debt...

Is the office dead in the dev world? Does everyone prefer to work remote from home, coffee shops or Coworking spaces? Or is there still value in working as a team irl, but modern office culture is killing it?

Co-workers with low commitment to a project are the worst to have. I am willing to trade technical depth for commitment in a team member any fucking day! Tech is easy to learn, work ethics not so much!

There are 43 people in our team. Every 43 of them come to salute me in the morning, fuck off, let me work. Just go ahead with your shit but leave me alone.

Lels....i think we have the day off and no one in my team told me so :V so here I am sitting at work waiting to see someone walk through the door. In all honesty. I would not mind :v my work pc os fairly powerful and I can do with the comfy chair.

when you hire a third party team and the ceo is so technically behind that the team starts treating you like an idiot as well.
Unlike my boss who can barely work a mac, i can use github so you dont have to send me a zip file.
Unlike my boss, you can use big words.
Unlike my boss, you dont have to treat me like im stupid.

Two months in my new job, no task assigned to me yet. Not even one. There's been a budget reallocation, and the team just got dissolved. Will probably be moved to a new team (or not?). Part of me enjoys the free time I'm getting (I get to work on my side projects) but it's kind of depressing that I can't prove to the company how much I love building things while at the same time helping the company. 😔

The ones I have now! I have a team of great people I'm working with. We get good work done and have alot of laughs. And since we work for a huge fortune 500 company, we have plenty of people in the enterprise to complain to each other about!

*Email chain forwarded by support team to our dev team*
Hi,
Please assist our customer. He is unable to reset his password!

*Went through the emails turned out that customer is asking for password reset request for legacy website for which we don't work at all*

Scrum master sending another reply to look into the matter on High priority.

We again double checked for the customer but he is not registered on the new website.

Apparently, both scrum master and support team and entire company is aware that our team is not working for legacy website.
But No one reads the email properly and keep forwarding to dev team disturbing the entire team.

Some times things like this are done by product manager and her associate, but they keep replying to each other on unnecessary things till they come to conclusion and scrum master try hard to keep up with them with his own agile disciplines.

Worst part of having a stupid team lead is that you first have to explain the work twice and then start the implementation.. which makes the 15 minutes work as 40 minutes.

Not having a team that wants to work together. Everyone does their own thing, occasionally people talk whilst making drinks, but no real communication. Worst teamwork fail.

Trying to figure out why your code won't work after you fixed it, only to find that the offshore team completely fucked everything back up again 😵

Got hired in a new organization for a particular team. Before joining, I had met the manager of the team and the work he told me was interesting. Upon joining, on the first day, I found that I am joining some other team and the work in this team doesn't look interesting at all!! :'( :-\
It sucks!

Great my team just got dumped with all the other teams messes and incomplete work! Great sprint planning guys.

The best part of being a developer is that you can work and develop at the same time without conflict. Even when you're not on the team.

When my team is telling me I need a iTunes account to work in Xcode

I work on a small dev team. A team member recently left. My boss is lenient about committing our repos. ex co worker didn't commit his code and instead just left his code on a zip drive. Today I had to resolve nine months of conflicts and basically throw out all the work this guy had done.

50% position (95 hours a month)
100% of my current compensation (~90k$)
In a company like the one I work in now: great team and great tech drive.

Rest of the time is for hobbies and family.

I use version control as a glorified backup. Only recently did we start branching at work.

This is why I need to be part of a proper team where I can learn instead of being a team of 2 juniors and no one else 😂

team work is nonsence, everybody thinks they are right

I work within an ICT team, but my role isn't ICT specific. However, I still had to explain to my Team lead how to create a .zip and what the purpose of it was. He's been working in the IT industry for 15+ years... how...?