Dear fellow developer,

You are not alone. No matter what situation you have been, you are in, you might be, there definitely are people who can share your pain and joy on similar wave length. Here at devrant.

Introvert?
Poor?
Alone?
Odd one out?
Trouble studying?
Family issues?
Debts?
Hate workplace?
Bad teacher?
Depression?
Laziness?
Forever alone?
Struggling?
Full of regrets?
Lost something?
Lost someone?
Lost?

You name it. All of us may not understand, sure. But there definitely will always be more than one person who will totally know what you are trying to say. Here at devrant only.

So whatever you are in, wherever you are and however you feel, just rant it out. 😄 And remember that we are one tap away from you.

For that devrant creators and most of all each and everyone of you have my eternal thank.

I'm not lazy... I'm energy efficient

*has a 94% in information security class*
*teacher gives us study guide for final exam*
*heavily take notes in the margins and study the packet obsessively for four days*
*come in to take the final*

*exam doesn't mention a single thing on the study guide*

*makes a 78 on it*
*final class grade drops down to an 87% (a letter grade lower than before)*

"Congratulations, Miss Meowijuanas! You had the highest score on the final!"
*hands me a candy bar like I'm a child*

"Maybe it's because you gave the class an extremely poor study guide which emphasized on material that wasn't covered on our actual exam? You shouldn't be congratulating me on a 78."

*teacher says he used the study guide from another teacher and must not have looked at it thoroughly enough*

*shakes hand and thanks him for having me as a student this semester*
*kicks a trash bin outside of the university 6 or 7 times*

I'm not even mad about my grade. An 87% is nice, although I know I would've done better otherwise. It's his pure, unmasked and unashamed laziness that makes me feel so violent. It's showing students like me that an educated individual like yourself couldn't be bothered to take five minutes or so to read over a fucking document for his students to make sure they're properly prepared for a major exam.
How the fuck can you be hired as a university professor and be this obvious about not putting effort into your work.
Fuck you, sir.
And fuck you again for all of my other classmates who did poorly because they followed your inaccurate study guide.

OH CRAP.

THE LIVE GITHUB LAZINESS COUNT HAS HIT 40 MILLION!!!

Why the fuck did I set up GitHub and all the deploy scripts if your just going to fucking ignore it and edit directly on the server?!?
"Oh, I ran out of time"
DO YOU EVEN KNOW HOW SIMPLE GIT IS?!?!?
"git add file
git commit -m 'Queef farm'"
AND YOU'RE DONE!

When you write scripts to automate stuff because you're lazy, but you spend so much time writing them it makes you doubt your own laziness

I think I’m a bit unusual in that my favorite place to code is on the couch, just using my laptop. During the work day I use two monitors, but I find it more comfortable to just use a lap desk and laptop when I get home/on weekends. I’m not sure if it’s from laziness or whatever, but it seems to work.

I use different variations of the same password. Everywhere.

It's worked out good so far but I can see it all crashing down on me at some point.

I would absolutely love it if people would write their own stupid code instead of blindly mixing everyone else's mental diarrhea together and pouring the resulting mess into their bloody stupid IDE. At least then I could insult them properly. As it is, they're outsourcing their fucking stupidity to the lowest fucking bidder and then bragging about how quickly they get everything done. And management eats it up! No wonder everything is a slow, tangled, unmaintanable mess.

I can't fix much of anything because almost none of it is in my control. It's all autogenerated bullshit glued together with laziness and poor taste. "But Root, why is fixing this taking so long?" Gee, I wonder why. Maybe if someone had built it somewhere in realm of correctly the first time, it wouldn't have all fallen apart when someone looked at it the wrong way!

Seriously, there's no way this pile of stale fertilizer could have passed QA.

I18n is short for internationalization because there is 18 letters between I and the last n. I love the laziness of developers.

Laziness, and lack of motivation.

Most hated language features?

PL/SQL:
• it exists

XSLT:
• it also exists

PHP:
• it still exists.

VB:
• Significant parentheses: `subName` calls the subroutine, and `subName()` calls the subroutine and gets a return value. If you use the wrong invocation, it yells at you. Why!?
• For reasons unknown, you can only have `sleep` appear once per codebase. (So put it in a function!)

Ruby:
• It’s bloody easy to write code with absolute shit performance, and it kind of feels encouraged because of just how easy Ruby makes everything. Less critical thinking means worse performance, and Ruby’s blissful elegance encourages mental laziness.
• Minor: You cannot pass a hash as the first method parameter without enclosing it in parentheses, ex:`method({key: value})`. This is due to the ambiguous case between passing a hash argument and a (curly) block/proc (`method {|args| code}`). This could be remedied pretty easily with a little bit of look ahead.
• Minor: There is no `elsif` for `unless` (a negated if). Why? No reason given.

Python:
• no block endings, so nested code can be extremely difficult to follow.

Bash:
• The freaking syntax oh god why.

All languages:
• rand vs rand() vs Rand vs Rand() vs rnd vs RND vs random() vs random vs randInt() vs Math.random() vs Math.randInt() vs ...

Dear Programming Languages,

if you only support weakly typed constructs, I wish you a special place in hell.

Dear Fellow Developers,

if you use a language that allows strong typing with weak typing, the next time we will meet after I have to fix a shitty bug due to that I will play piano on your teeth, and a melody you won't like.

And yes, that means PHP as well. PHP allows for strict types since php7.

So. Just. Fucking. Use. It.

There are no excuses!

I don't care if you don't see the benefit or find it "annoying" and tedious to write it out. Use a decent editor and it will be mostly code-completion anyway.

I just don't want to fix your fuckups. And if your fuckup is due to a typing issue that "slipped" by, you are part of the problem.

If you write software, it should be clear what type each and every variable or object has.

There are no excuses but your laziness.

If you want to be ambiguous, try poetry.

I wrote an app that tells me if a lottery ticket is winning. It takes a picture of the ticket, does OCR, finds the number lines and compares them with a remote json.
I live next door to a lottery shop.

Started to do freelance with a group of 4. We got our first project for 4000$ which needs an engine to be to built in the span of 6 months. Apart from me no one contributed a single line of code since they where busy with their personal work/girls/party/laziness. I myself sometimes got help from some other people and spent some money from my own pocket and completed the project on time and delivered it. On the day when I received my money those guys came and ask for their fucking share since they involved in picking up the project. I gave them 🖕🏻🤬

Is that anything worse than this?

Startup.

Our intern is a weird bird. He is an immigrant (like me) and should be working his ass of to become an FT, and then tie the H1B. I never had an opportunity like this.

Instead the dude sat on his hands for four/five months since hired. He was managed remotely and fairly low touch. He was doing some light support work initially, though I had not heard anything from him.

I take him on now as his ass is about to get dropped. Manage him much more directly (small tasks several checking per day, you get the picture). We need to deliver something relatively simple in three weeks.

On Thursday I find out that the dude has no idea of what Spring is (we are a Java shop). Dude, you have had access to our fucking code base for five months, didn't it cross your mind to poke in? Maybe do a little research and see what this thing is that we are using ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE? I sit two desks from you, why the fuck didn't you ask me a question? This ain't fucking socialism where we have a five year plan.

I swear, two things I dislike: incompetence and laziness. And incompetence can generally be cured with some lecturing if the other party is willing to listen.

Preface: i'm pretty... definitely wasted. rum is amazing.

anyway, I spent today fighting with ActionCable. but as per usu, here's the rant's backstory:

I spent two or three days fighting with ActionCable a few weeks ago. idr how long because I had a 102*f fever at the time, but I managed to write a chat client frontend in React that hooked up to API Guy's copypasta backend. (He literally just copy/pasted it from a chat app tutorial. gg). My code wasn't great, but it did most of what it needed to do. It set up a websocket, had listeners for the various events, connected to the ActionCable server and channel, and wrote out updates to the DOM as they came in. It worked pretty well.

Back to the present!

I spent today trying to get the rest to work, which basically amounted to just fetching historical messages from the server. Turns out that's actually really hard to do, especially when THE FKING OFFICIAL DOCUMENTATION'S EXAMPLES ARE WRONG! Seriously, that crap has scoping and (coffeescript) syntax errors; it doesn't even run. but I didn't know that until the end, because seriously, who posts broken code on official docs? ugh! I spent five hours torturing my code in an effort to get it to work (plus however many more back when I had a fever), only to discover that the examples themselves are broken. No wonder I never got it working!

So, I rooted around for more tutorials or blogs or anything else with functional sample code. Basically every example out there is the same goddamn chat app tutorial with their own commentary. Remember that copy/paste? yeah, that's the one. Still pissed off about that. Also: that tutorial doesn't fetch history, or do anything other than the most basic functionality that I had already written. Totally useless to me.

After quite a bit of searching, the only semi-decent resource I was able to find was a blog from 2015 that's entirely written in Japanese. No, I can't read more than a handful of words, but I've been using it as a reference because its code is seriously more helpful than what's on official Rails docs. -_-

Still never got it to work, though. but after those five futile hours of fighting with the same crap, I sort of gave up and did something else.

zzz.

Anyway.
The moral of the story is that if you publish broken code examples beacuse you didn't even fking bother to test them first, some extremely pissed off and vindictive and fashionable developer will totally waterboard the hell out of you for the cumulative total of her wasted development time because screw you and your goddamn laziness.

Dev life 😂

Yesterday I had to film something but I was too lazy to set up my LED pannel so I wrote a blank html page and opened it in fullscreen on my projector.

Today, I reached a new level of laziness.

I lied down to watch a movie and I was too lazy to copy the movie from my external hard drive which was in the other side of the bed.

What did I do? I've downloaded the movie once again and watched.

Adobe will end-of-life Flash by 2020, and all big Browsers are joining this by disabling Flash features slowly

Let's make a petition to end-of-life Electron, it is basically Flash for Desktops and it is A RESOURCE-HUNGRY LAZINESS-PROMOTING PIECE OF SHIT THAT SHOULD IMMEDIATELY BE REMOVED FROM THIS VERY PLAnet.. what do you think about that particular idea?

#StopElectron2017smhOkayAtLeastBy2020Please

a little confession: i've rarely used test suites in my projects (due to laziness and lack of time).

i've started a new project and now i HAD to write tests in order to make my PM happy.

Then i had to refactor a lot of code.

IT WAS SO EASY WITH TESTS.
I WAS A FOOL.
STUPID PAST ME, STUPID!

Developers created IDEs with intelligent code completion and languages provide users with an annotation syntax to document their methods.

And then there is Python, nuking all the efforts of our ancestors by dynamic typing. And they are smug enough to call this laziness duck typing. "If it squawks like a duck, swims like a duck, walks like a duck its a duck".
Shit no, it ain't a duck because a fucking goose does all the same but is a mean bastard compared to a duck. You might pet a duck but only the craziest will attempt to pet a goose.

Fuck python and undocumented methods in particular!

Start using MVC. Put all logic in the View out of laziness.

The last several weeks I've been coding at 100%, most all day and well into the night. Today, I just can't.

Things I have done today:

*Watched Netflix.

*Walked around outside a bit.

*Let my 18 month old daughter type all over my code

* Closed mysterious dialogs and menus daughter opened up that I couldn't open if I tried

*Watched the Mets score 10 runs on the Phillies in the top of the 5th inning

*Browsed devRant

*Stared at stuff

* Cleaned up a few thousand emails out of my inbox

* Added filters to never see them again

* Noted impending deadlines on the calendar

* Stared at more stuff

In the meantime so many more ideas have come flooding in on how to proceed with these various features I'm working on. Can't even run from work.

So, no such thing as laziness, because apparent laziness is also productive. The exhaustion becomes doubly frustrating because there's just no way to physically keep up with the breakthroughs.

I'm still just staring out the window. It's raining now. Today is done.

Please tell me I'm not the only one who gets really annoyed when someone uses jQuery to do stuff that would take the same amount of pure JS. I think these days many people only use jQuery out of laziness, not because it's necessary. Why load an entire library to set CSS attributes and innerHTML? Yes, there was a time when it was very useful to have jQuery, but today we have querySelectorAll and all that. You can save plenty of kBs, load time and improve performance.

Next time you're about to load jQuery ask yourself: do I really need it? Chances are the answer will be no.

I fucking hate chained methods. Ok, not all of them. Query things like array.where.first... that stuff is ok.

Specially if it's part of the std lib of a lang, which would be probably written by a very competent coder and under scrutiny.
But if you're not that person, chances are you'll produce VASTLY inferior code.

I'm talking about things like:
expect(n).to.be(x).and.not(y)

And the reason I don't like it is because it's all fine and dandy at first.

But once you get to the corner cases, jesus christ, prepare to read some docpages.

You end up reading their entire fucking docs (which are suboptimal sometimes) trying to figure if this fucking dsl can do what you need.

Then you give up and ask in a github issue. And the dev first condescends you and then tells you that the beautiful eden of code he created doesn't let you do what you want.

The corner cases usually involve nesting or some very specific condition, albeit reasonable.

This kind of design is usually present in testing or validation js libraries. And I hate all of those for it.

If you want a modern js testing lib that doesn't suck ass, check avajs. It's as simple as testing should be.

No magic globals, no chaining, zero config. Fuck globals forced by libs.

But my favorite thing about it that is I can put a breakpoint wherever the fuck I want and the debugger stops right fucking there.

Code is basically lines of statements, that's it, and by overusing chaining, by encouraging the grouping of dozens of statements into one, you are preventing me from controlling these statements on MY code.

As an end dev, I only expect complexity increases to come from the problems themselves rather than from needlessly "beautified" apis.

When people create their own shitty dsl, an image comes to my mind of an incoherent rambling man that likes poetry a lot and creates his own martial art, which looks pretty but will get your ass kicked against the most basic styles of fighting.

I fucking hate esoteric code.

Even if I had to execute a list of functions, I'd rather send them in an array instead of being able to chain them because:
a) tree shaking would spare from all the functions i didn't import
b) that's what fucking arrays are for, to contain several things.

This bad style of coding is a result of how low the barrier to code in higher level langs are.

As a language or library gets easier to use you might think that's a positive thing. But at the same time it breeds laziness.

Js has such a low learning curve that it attacts the wrong kind of devs, the lazy, the uninspired, the medium.com reader, the "i just care about my paycheck" ones.

Someone might think that by bashing bad js devs I'm trying to elevate myself.

That'd be extremely stupid. That's like beating a retarded blind man in a game and then saying "look, I'm way better than this retarded blind man".

I'm not on a risky point of view, just take a stroll down npmjs.com. That place is a landfill. Not really npm's fault, in fact their search algorithm is good.

It's just the community.

Every lang has a ratio of competence. Of competent to incompetent devs.

You have the lang devs and most intelligent lib devs at the top. At the bottom you have the bottom.

Well js has a horrible ratio. I wouldn't be shocked to find out that most js devs still consider using import or await the future.

You could say that js improved a lot, that it was way worse beforr. But I hate chaining now, and i hated back then!

On top of this, you have these blog web companies, sucking the "js tutorial" business tit dry, pumping out the most obscenely unprofessional and bar lowering tutorials you can imagine, further capping the average intelligence of most js devs.

And abusing SEO while they're at it, littering the entire web with copy paste content.

Heights of laziness.

My dad's laptop having "WINDOWS OS" got full of viruses and my dad wanted me to repair it since I visited my home.
But I insisted him to get it repaired at some IT shop. Went to an IT shop, my dad introduced the shopkeeper that I am his son and is a software engineer. That moment, I really felt bad that even I could have done formatting and installing applications back.

Now, let's hope it comes back full healthy and clean.

My Lazy Habits:

1. Not testing my own code thoroughly... cuz fuck that. That's the tester's/QA's job.

2. I create slack commands to get certain things done, so I dont have to get up and open my laptop each time I receive a ticket.

3. Ask more time for development that I actually need so I can fit in couple naps here and there.

4. Falsely claiming that I am busy when someone invites me over meet or a phone call. Like just text me.

5. Factoring my laziness in when I design features LOL.

For when you don't want the whole laptop in your lap but you still wanna use it..

Scripting and automation is my passion.

So....I would say laziness got me hooked into this world. :-D

That moment when learning code helps you become lazier at your job

Automating my tasks :)

Now my worst fear is that I figured out how to implement my idea, because now the only thing stopping me is my laziness.

You know what I realized something. And im gonna brag about it. I taught myself laravel, vue, JavaScript, basic Unix server admin stuff and more all without every asking a single question on a forum.

Basically out of laziness, and impatience, though.

Still, go me.

If anyone has been keeping up with my data warehouse from hell stories, we're reaching the climax. Today I reached my breaking point and wrote a strongly worder email about the situation. I detailed 3 separate cases of violated referential integrity (this warehouse has no constraints) and a field pulling from THE WRONG FLIPPING TABLE. Each instance was detailed with the lying ER diagram, highlighted the violating key pairs, the dangers they posed, and how to fix it. Note that this is a financial document; a financial document with nondeterministic behavior because the previous contractors' laziness. I feel like the flipping harbinger of doom with a cardboard sign saying "the end is near" and keep having to self-validate that if I was to change anything about this code, **financial numbers would change**, names would swap, description codes would change, and because they're edge cases in a giant dataset, they'll be hard to find. My email included SQL queries returning values where integrity is violated 15+ times. There's legacy data just shoved in ignoring all constraints. There are misspellings where a new one was made instead of updating, leaving the pk the same.

Now I'd just put sorting and other algos, but the data is processed by a crystal report. It has no debugger. No analysis tools. 11 subreports. The thing takes an hour to run and 77k queries to the oracle backend. It's one of the most disgusting infrastructures I've ever seen. There's no other solution to this but to either move to a general programming language or get the contractor to fix the data warehouse. I feel like I've gotten nowhere trying to debug this for 2 months. Now that I've reached what's probably the root issue, the office beaucracy is resisting the idea of throwing out the fire hazard and keeping the good parts. The upper management wants to just install sprinklers, and I'm losing it.

Why is it that software has gotten so hardware heavy these days?

I get that some things require more ram, larger screen resolutions and games.

But even calculator apps are now in the hundreds of MB when the entire Microsoft office suite used to come on a couple of floppies.

Is it laziness and relying on ever higher level languages or is there some reason that stuff gets unnecessarily large now.

My first rant. My very "african" dad just told me coding is for people who want an excuse to sit in front of a computer all day. An excuse for laziness.

it's funny coming from someone who never paid a single attention or gave me a single penny to support me 😪

Must nearly every recently-made piece of software be terrible?

Firefox runs terribly slowly on a four-core 1.6GHz processor when given eight (8) gigabytes of RAM. Discord's user interface is awfully slow and uses unnecessary animations. Google's stuff is just falling apart; a toaster notification regarding MRO stock was recently pushed such that some markup elements of this notification were visible in the notification, the download links which are generated by Google Drive have sometimes returned error 404, and Google's software is overall sluggish and somewhat unstable. Today, an Android phone failed to update the Google Drive application... and failed to return a meaningful error message. Comprehensive manuals appear to be increasingly often not provided. Microsoft began to digest Windows after Windows XP was released.

Laziness is not virtuous.

For all computer programs, a computer program should be written such that this computer program performs well on reasonably terrible hardware... and kept simple. The UNIX philosophy is woefully underappreciated.

Have to turn two important projects in 1.5 hours. Had the time since yesterday.... Do other people procrast like this?

We use jira at my company. It's great for me, because no ticketing system's UI is worth a shit, but jira's API is excellent. But we're switching to a new system that is an absolute piece of garbage. Every page is 100% Javascript, so no source can ever be viewed, and the URL never changes to reflect what's onscreen. If you know a ticket number, no URL will ever get you straight to it. You have to navigate multiple slow-loading 25MB piles of Javascript to reach what you're seeking. And most damning of all: the new system has an API, but our highest management is withholding access to it, claiming it breeds laziness.

Is amazing the kind of shit you have to swallow when your management has regular meetings with really really super extremely good-looking sales people.

!rant

I received a pair of complements on how well I run team meetings after an engineering all staff this morning. Received a similar comment last week.

Someone asked “what’s your secret?”

I reply “Laziness”

“What?”

“I’m lazy. I don’t like meetings most of the time. So when I run meetings, I run them so that they’re over as fast as possible”

“How do you do that?”

“By knowing what I actually want”

“What if you don’t know what you want?”

“Then there’s no meeting”

“Well what if y-“

“Hey listen I have another meeting to get to”

Ran Windows RAM diagnostic tools because I was too lazy to get my Linux USB-stick. Ran for 20 minutes, restarted - "There are hardware problems present."

NO SHIT. No info how many errors, no log file mentioned, no code or anything. Something happened. How retarded can a diagnostic tool be?

Guess laziness gets you punished immediately...

I want to be the laziest person in the world. So, I'm always creating automation scripts to make my work easier. But after 2+ years of doing automation, they seem mediocre. Anyone here can make ADVANCED automation scripts? (Using python or any other language)
If you have any open source automation project, please comment the link here. Want to take some inspiration. Thanks

The height of procrastination:

One of the front end developer told me to change few things in two services I told him it’ll take one or two hours (although I did it in 15 mins). I just called him to say I’ll give this tomorrow morning its a long task. While the reality is I am too lazy to build the war and deploy.🙈

"We’re not insulting Larry [Wall] by saying he’s lazy; laziness is a virtue. The wheelbarrow was invented by someone
who was too lazy to carry things; writing was invented by someone who was too lazy to memorize; Perl was
invented by someone who was too lazy to get the job done without inventing a whole new computer language."
- footnote from Learning Perl, by Randal L. Schwartz, brian d foy, and Tom Phoenix

My biggest obstacle? Stupidity, laziness, willfull ignorance, procrastination.

Sometimes my teammates are the ones guilty of these things too. That, and impossible timetables, but that's par for the course for pretty much all of us.

My story with frontend devs who use my APIs.

!rant
I found the height of my laziness today.
While watching youtube videos, I watched a whole 3 and half minute Ad and did not click on the "Skip Ad" button because I was too lazy to get up and move the mouse or even press a single key

I just can't stress enough how fascinated I am by biology and biochemistry.

I mean, we, who call ourselves engineers, are no more but a gang of toddlers having a blast with jumbo legos on Aunt Lucy's dining room carpet on a sunny Sunday afternoon. Our solutions using "modern tools" and "modern engineering" are mere attempts to *very* remotely mimic what beautiful and elegant solutions are around us and inside of each of us.

IC/EC engines, solar batteries, computers and quantum computers, spaceships and ISSes, AI/ML, ... What are they? just the means to leverage what's been created all around us to create something that either entertains us, encourages our laziness or helps us to look at the other absolutely fascinating engineering solutions surrounding us so we could try and "replicate" their working principles to further embrace our laziness and entertain us.

Just look at the humble muscle - a myofibril made out of actin and myosin. The design is soooo simple and spot on, so elegant and efficient, the "battery" and signalling system are so universal and efficient.

Look at all those engineering miracles, small and big. Look how they work, how they leverage both big and small to create holistic, simplistic and absolutely efficient mechanisms. And then come back to me, and tell me again that all these brilliant solutions came out of nothing just by an accident we call "evolution".

How blinded by our narcissism are we to claim that there can't be a grand designer of any kind, that there's nothing smarter than us and that the next best thing than us is an incomprehensible series of accidental mutations over an unimaginable amount of time?

I mean.. could it be that someone/something greater than us created us and everything around us? naaaah.. we are the crown jewel of this universe. Everything else must be either magic or an accident. /s

Don't read this as yet another crazy-about-God person's ramblings. I'm not into religion fwiw. But science has taught me enough critical thinking to question its merit. Look at it all as engineers. Which is more probable: that everything around us happened by an accident or that someone/something preceding us had a say in the design?

The job hunt is exhausting but trying to keep a positive mindset coz my prospects look good so far. Just cant wait to be done with the interviews (hopefully within the next two weeks) and get back to reading books and binging series when i am not working without the guilt of i should be studying and won’t forgive myself if I don’t pass due to laziness.
I also actually miss writing code and working on a team. Remote work made me realize I absolutely love being a software engineer, i just hated going to the office.
Pls send positive vibes for my upcoming interviews 🙏🏾

Three key traits of software developers are laziness, impatience and arrogance.

I've been working like a mad woman in a startup for 3+ years now. They feel like 10. Or at least the tech stacks we went through.
Never, ever join a startup, regardless of compensation, unless you know you can emotionally and mentally recover from that startup failing as if it is yours, not your bosses. Otherwise, it's just a shitty short experience.

My long experience is shitty, but man. I don't know.Those who built google, wanted to make a search engine. Did they know they're gonna be good? NO. This is the result of them being good. They now have that great product that succeeds and is able to become a self-referential piggy bank. You cannot be a self-referential piggy bank based on a fucking belief and idea, and a bunch of VCs who already put money in you. You know why? BECAUSE GUESS WHO IS THE ONE RESPONSIBLE FOR SUSTAINING YOUR START UP NOW?

The bloods and passions of youth, that join your startup, thinking they can make a difference, and you just undermine them constantly thinking that no engineer can make a difference if they can't ensure compliance with your dumb funding strategy.

Don't even get me started on the fact that most people who work for startups, rely on either laziness or passion. It's like a bunch of kids in art school, whose professor doesn't like anything they make, but they still kinda like it hoping one day they leave and become artists themselves. Then they discover that this shit professor actually taught them nothing about creativity in the real world, and what it takes to push something out.

And, it finally fucking hit me.

The reason startups will never work in this year, and beyond, AND TILL I SEE A CHANGE IN ATTITUDE IN 10 YEARS.....

The market won't fucking allow it with the current strategy tech companies are a fan of: hire a bunch of passionate devs who wanna learn a tool through doing our unique work. Doesn't matter. DIVERSITY. THE UNION IS THE PASSION. That's dumb as fuck.
Why?
Here:

- Passionate people do not have to use passion as an incentive, the passion was there, and them getting their idea made or money is the incentive
- If you hire a passionate person - even if they are the fucking best - you just made their passion a tool, in getting your PRs done and shit epics scoped AT BEST, and so the tools you're teaching them to use are getting away with doing less impactful, productive, creative work.

I AM SO DEPRESSED.

All classes (with a few exceptions) have nothing but static methods just so that I can call them like "Class::Method()" from anywhere in the project...

This week at work I spent 20 hours debugging automated tests to avoid manual testing that would've taken a few hours.

This is hands-down the worst codebase I've ever touched. 50% laziness, 50% poorly-conceived alterations to business logic. One of those where if it isn't throwing an error, you DON'T TOUCH IT.

I realised I was using my phone too much. Then I grouped apps randomly now I'm too lazy to find where is which app. 😎😎

!rant
protip == true

TL_DR = "exec mail ceo jeff@amazon.com"

The laziness of devs, including myself, goes hand-in with the crazy deliveries (groceries, etc) that Amazon delivers without having to leave home.

But...Amazon isn't prefect, occasionally I have issues and usually support is great. But when support isn't what you expect and you're more frustrated than before, send an email response and include jeff@amazon.com

And no, I don't work there... I'm just happy my issue was resolved and I got a nice credit added to my account. (Mileage may vary)

Oh! How I wish the ++ button was placed at the top/bottom center part of a post. Being right-handed, the level of laziness I have to stretch my thumb all the way to the left when scrolling on the phone with one hand is appalling.

This is definitely a total first world problem but I am so frustrated.

I am stuck in a team that embodies the Japanese proverb "The nail that sticks out gets hammered down".

The management are there because it is convenient and flexible and have no interest in managing or keeping up with tech.
The lead developers are extremely anti-social and are not approachable and the this stems down to the devs (not all but really most) - all there just to do the bare minimum and spend most of their energies in trying to avoid work or having learn something.

Unfortunately I am passionate about what I do and want to build high-quality products and this has put me at odds with the way things work.

I could fill up alot of time talking about how I was ordered to "cut" images/icons out of PDFs rather just getting them from the branding team, or how I was scolded for having set up logging, detected a problem caused by another developer and fixed it before it cost a big client a massive amount of money... But really the point is that I have never worked somewhere with such an awful attitude to enthusiasm and quite frankly it boggles my mind trying to understand how they rationalise these things but the answer is always laziness.

Obviously there are worse problems in the world than working in a job where you are encouraged to do nothing... But it actually really depresses me and causes anxiety that I am working with people who don't care about testing or monitoring or learning new things or even collaboration.

...sigh...

Hopefully the job market will start opening again soon

This is one from when I was in school, so I wasn't a dev but it made me feel like a CS student badass.

A class mate and I were having a discussion about his study habits. Basically he was freaking about the mount of studying he was going to have to do for this class:

Me: dude, you need to relax. You'll do fine.
Classmate: no, have you seen the amount of work that is on the syllabus? The size of the book?
Me: wait you bought the book? Also we took this same professor for several classes. His syllabuses are always huge. What did you get in the prereq to this class?
CM: an A.
Me: there you go.
CM: but I had to study all the time. I had no free time.
Me: really? I had an insane amount of free time.
CM: what did you get?
Me: B+.
CM: See but I did better than you.
Me: yeah . . . but I had fun last year.
Professor: you know, it's hard to tell who is the better student. The one that had no fun, but got an A. Or the one that had a lot of fun and got a B.
Other Classmates: probably the guy that got the B.

Hurray for peer and professor validated laziness.

I've heard about some of the ridiculous requirements that some companies have in job postings and always thought that they're probably over exaggerating a bit.

Holy shit was I wrong.

I've taken a look at the positions that they have posted for my coop program and while I understand that my college was not the only one posted to for these, they seem pretty extreme at times. There were a few postings that required several mountains of web frameworks and experience that unless you did a lot of self study prior or had previous professional work experience would have been impossible.

We're students, a lot of us have never touched an IDE prior to our program so to ask us for in some cases years of experience in a language or tool that I have never even heard of, nor have even been even vaguely mentioned by profs, seems a bit much. I have had years of experience in a fair variety of tools and languages but even for me this seemed a tad bit unreasonable. Not all of the postings require this much prior experience in the field so I can apply to some.

The professor teaching the preparation course says they can't understand why people apply for the coop program then don't apply to positions. While I understand there are people who might not apply due to laziness or an overflow of assignments, I feel like a good chunk just can't find any positions that they may be partially qualified for.

Being lazy taught me more about (code) automation that years of study ever did.

“Ugh! Updating translations is boring, why do I have to do this manually?”

“Damn I really hate having to remember endpoints”

“Oh, come on! Its the third time I initialise this the same way!”

I’d love to say this is a motivational speech or something but no, im just lazy lol

New level of efficiency/laziness:

Used Tasker to autodial me into my daily stand-up conference calls. If my "AtWork" variable is set by the calendar entry, and If my "Jabra" headset is connected.

I don't have to remember conference codes...or keep track of the clock to call in on time.

What's your extent of laziness?

!Rant

I fucking hate my laziness, I really want to make something but I can't have a proper idea, I want to build a portfolio but I'm just stuck with basic knowledge of java that every keeps praising me because of it since their level is shit, like so fucking shit, I hate my classmates this uni the spirit they have, its just depressing on so many levels ! Fucking shit! Why can't I find any motivated people that want to improve generally and just get a good mark to pass the freaking tests!

Fuck you and your agile and scrum
nothing will fix your laziness and stupidity
I hate wasting time for this bullshit

Made a dockerfile for a reproducible build environment today. It's been a few months since I had this much fun working, so refreshing.

This counts as devops right? In that case I might take a better look at devops sometime in the near future, I think I might like it. I just did it out of necessity (didn't want to bloat my system with build tools and sdks) but I ended up liking it. For some reason devops seems exceedingly boring to me, which prevented me from looking into it until now, let's see if I can overcome my laziness and learn it.

When I go to sleep, driving my car, or when I am distracted with some hobbies my mind give me some ideas and motivation for doing programs and games.
Then I switch on my PC and my laziness come from holidays to fuck my projects and doing anything.
Idk why.
I need help? Or my life as programmer sucks?

I called it TextPaste, or was it VidPaste 🤔. Anyways, it was an attempt to promote my laziness in copying code from YouTube videos or images by using text recognition. I called my coding style "Lazy Art," 😂. It was completed....sorta. I mean, it worked sometimes....

Laziness is a mother of reusable code.

So last year I sent my PC to get a motherboard replacement, as I couldn't be arsed replacing it or even research what motherboard I should get(was dealing with more urgent personal matters).

Anyway, I get it back and everything works good but not the front USB port.. I always found it weird, but also didn't bother to open the case and double check, so I let it go and assumed, since the motherboard was fried, that the USB wires were faulty.

Time passes by and I decide to open the case for annual cleaning job... Turns out the motherfucker didn't connect the port, why?? Fucks knows why... Obviously the wires were "short" and he didn't even try to pull it out further!!! You little piece of shit,for a full year I've been living with a missing usb port, the fucking front facing mother fucking usb port. Fuck.

Moral of story? Don't be a lazy ass and fix your shit on your own!

i find comforting hearing good villain AI videogame dialogues.

for example, morpheus in deus ex.

one obvious reason is that the voice representation has an unrushed pace and low tone.

another more significant reason is that there are no emotions affecting the course of thought of an AI

because of that, villain AI characters can describe brutal but possibly actual aspects of humans without flinching.

as a developer or person, that is a commodity because you want to be as objective as possible.

if you had no feelings of self doubt, fear, laziness, shallowness, then you'd become an exceptional free man

Programmer friend: Dood, do this and this and show it to me, I'll say if it's good.
Me (noob): Okay, sure.

*next week*

F: So why did you stop coding?
M: Why do you think so?
F: You didn't show me your project in a week.
M: I was lazy?
F: LAZY?!?!

I came to a point where I expect the computer can read my mind and suggest keyword accordingly, be it in code editor, terminal or word editor. That level of laziness. 😂

Few days back, I developed an app for a client where users can buy textile designs online.
The designs to be uploaded on the server must be square to display correctly on the app. so I had to make them square manually (by either pattern repetition or by filling extra space).

I was like "fuck me!", 800 design image to make it square and each takes like 1 and half minute. I did uploaded 30 to 40 images and then...

I got really frustrated and I was lazy to make more designs square anymore.. So I developed an algorithm that would identify the type of design and then it automatically makes it square by self decision.

so that was my little anti-laziness for my big laziness.

Laziness

If you’re struggling with productivity:
[1] Wake up early & Exercise
Waking up early means getting most of the work done as soon as you start your day. This sets a routine for you.
Doing a high-intensity workout early in the morning can kill laziness and make you feel productive.
[2] Divide the day into three parts
Do the most work in the morning hours i.e 6 am to 11 am.
Keep the 12 pm - 3 pm for work that requires less energy. Evenings can be utilised to finish minor tasks.
[3] Make a timetable
A proper timetable or To-Do is a good way to keep a track of your daily routine.
Tick off the work you've completed and you'll feel you've been productive.
[4] Follow people who motivate you to work
If you waste time scrolling on social media, make sure to follow people who instantly motivate you to work and take action.
[5] Update or shift workspace
Your workspace is where you spend most of your time, so make sure it makes you feel motivated to work.
In case you are bored of your workspace, shift it to a new room, preferably that has windows for fresh air.

More than 50% of my work is due to the fact people don't do what they are suppose to do.

"Joe is suppose to submit report X every week. He hasnt been keeping up so make a script that reminds him if he's late. Better yet make a tool so Joe doesn't waste those 3 minutes every week."

Me: Tell him to do his job.

"But we need you to do it"

Me: Fine

"Suzie is complaining she does this menial task"

Me: She was hired to do that.

"Can we automate it?"

Me: No

"X is broken"

Me: I know. Group Y isn't doing what they are suppose to.

"Go talk to them so you can see why they aren't doing it. Then bend over backwards so you can handle these kinds of issues due to their laziness in the future."

Me: Fine...

So I am a Software Engineer at a small scale company.
I need to coordinate with customers, understand the requirements and design and develope the solutions.
These sometimes include changing the current product a bit and customize it to fit the client needs or maybe creating a plug-in that could work with the current product and get the job done.

I love the research, design and planning part of the job, I would be super focused and will find solutions for complex stuff. Plan it all to the smallest things.
I know the solution so I can think of what code would be there what would be needede whats already there etc.

But when it comes to coding the solution my laziness kicks in.
My mind is like you already know the solution why you need to code it to.

Then I start procrastinating and end up putting myself under a pile of stuff when the deadline approaches.

FML

Guys,

I'm in kind of crappy situation. We are in dire needs of some improvements to our infrastructure. I've told that to the person who is responsible for it several times to get it improved. But because of his incompetency or laziness he just do some hacky solutions which gonna blow up on the the very next day and makes things worse.
I've raised my concern to my supervisor several times. He is also kinda slow in pushing things.
These infrastructure changes are for testing purposes so it doesn't have an immediate impact on their business. But it is kinda productivity killer for all.

I wonder what DevRanters do when they lose their motivation. What you guys doing to gain motivation?

dev vs QA rant (n + 1)

So our QA is done by China team so naturally time difference is quite irritating,

I cannot change code
I cannot debug for issue

So today I fix a critical issue and before pushing it my seniors send the to the QA
> QA unavailable
> I wait for QA because nobody notifies if the code is tested and I can work ahead
> I get review that my issue fix generated another issue (page gets redirected)
> I'm angry and astonished, I check on same link, same circumstances and no such issue is found
> My seniors say read the issue properly and I do it, no positive response when I contradict the QA
> QA leaves for home on Friday and critical issue still remains in live

I cannot believe the laziness of QA, I mean it's their loss at the end of the day.

> top of that I waited 2 hours for QA to check the issue

Be honest, i give yall a million in cash. How soon would you quit your job(s).

Game title: Vacations of an engineering student.

Aim: to utilize 60 days of freedom with something worth useful in future career.

Game Modes: (1) Sit at home. (2) intern for some company

Mode(1) Sit at home.
>>Villains : Games,Netflix and movies, food, friend parties, late night sleeps, afternoon wake ups, trips (random villains)
>>Boss Battles : laziness, procrastination, loosing of interest in stuff you wanna do
>>reward on completion: more knowledge increase, better resume ,$0 earnings

Mode(2) : intern for some company
>> extra level before starting : apply for 100s of companies,interview rounds, test
>>villans : no self choice, work with shitty code, too much workload, less time for outside-work life
>> Boss battles: do stuff that you didn't agree to, less stipend, unwanted scoldings from boss
>> reward on completion : more work experience , lesser knowledge, more $

What would be your mode of playing this summer?

Mostly the absense TDD

Also short attention span and laziness with personal projects.

A colleague changes the location of a test helper file imported in a bunch of tests. Doesn’t bother to check where that file is imported (except where he’s specifically using it himself).

As a result good dozen tests fail later on. The culprit doesn’t realize. And the rest of us have no clue why.

Multiple people are asked to look into why the tests are failing.

"Ok, who’s working on what?
We’ll create a shared document to track who’s working on what test."

Document is created, people get assigned.

"Hold on, looks like it’s just a faulty import." "Oh yeah same here." "Yeah for me as well."

"Ok we could simply appoint one person to fix all the imports."

"Well I’ve already gone ahead and opened a pull request to fix the test I was appointed to."

"Ah ok, well who can take care of the rest?"

"Wait I also opened a PR."

"Ok so I guess we can each open a PR?" "No we can just have a single branch we can all push to".

"Sure, who’s branch are we using"

"You can use the branch of my PR"

"Guys let me handle this, it’s ridiculous for us to all be doing this separately."

"You’re right, go ahead".

——

The culprit? A senior dev.

What would have literally taken a minute to do (or even no time at all with proper use of the IDE) turned into hours of wasted time. People getting interrupted, having to drop what they were doing to fix the consequences of this guy’s laziness (seriously don’t know what else to call it).
Ok maybe our reaction could have been more efficient, but we never should’ve even gotten to that point in the first place.

You ran out of space to store your laziness now i see why you want a remote backup.

rust has taught me discipline

my life-long disposition to laziness is suddenly no more

I hate it, thanks

I've always viewed the unlazy and highly disciplined as a loser class. now what

Is it just me or is everyone thinking the binary ++ counter is a good idea?

I think it’s really cool because it sort of hides the number of ++ you have behind a wall of laziness. Like people probably aren’t going to convert every score and I personally just look at the length of it as a rough estimate of how upvoted a user is.

I think this really helps eliminate the “likes contest” that can come with other social media. (And as a result reduces spam that is posted/reposted just to get likes)

Anyone agree? Disagree?

I told a junior developer to write a plugin for WordPress to modify behavior of another plugin, and he wrote a plugin that literally overwrites the other plugin's file. WTF are youngsters thought at university these days? How to be lazy? How to go in dumb and come out dumber?

Senile Web login services from 2009 grind my gears, and tertiary education administration snorts the powder.

Trying to apply online at a local university. They didn't have place for me 3 years ago so I went elsewhere but for my 4th year I have to go to them.

Because of my previous application I still have a student number. Online application says I have to log in to another portal and apply there. Then that portal now requests a Pin that I was never sent, and the "request new pin" function doesn't work because apparently my email is not in the database for my ID. My email was 100000% sure on my application, but some dingus never inserted it into the system.

Why not just start a "new" application you ask? Because the New Applications portal won't allow it for my ID number since it has a student number already. Now I either have to apply manually and pay the fee or wrangle Uni staff to reset my account.

I'm calling you, your slapdash JavaScript 1.2 code and your unhelpful staff out, Cape Peninsula University of Technology.

- Seriously, I should do some work in my senior project.
- (looks at code and stares for an hour)
- I'm hopeless
- (go to sleep)

Repeat next day

I am really fed up with people emailing me asking about how they can use methods of a library I wrote when the answer is literally in the f***ing JavaDoc. At first I thought it might be me not being comprehensive enough in my doc, but when I literally started sending copies of what I wrote there and got a lot of "Thanks that makes it clear"emails I became really fed up with the laziness of some people. I find it disrespectful to my weeks of work for someone who wants to use it to not read a few lines when in doubt.

Probably either writing the occasional lazy commit message, or skipping a few testing scenarios when testing dev work locally. Although to be honest, its rarely out of laziness that I do these things. Its often trying to urgently finish something for a weekend release/hotfix.

Laziness

questions for those hard core lazy geeks, I'd like to try out raspberry pi. what's the most crazy use cases in you mind but yet no way to find time to do it? if I get rid of my laziness, I may do it, no promises😜

Top 3 reasons why you love to code?

1. It helps to process my inner masochism
2. Gives me an infinite amount of reasons to complain (hiding the fact that's just a behavioural trait)
3. Flexible working times (that end up being the double of the non-flexible 😑)

1. I love the challenge of a good puzzle. There's always something new to solve that I didn't know before, and it rarely requires external knowledge like a crossword...

2. At least in my current life situation, no one I interact with has any idea what I'm doing, so if I feel like working on a solution to side project at work, it wouldn't look any different. It also keeps people from trying to learn about what I'm doing. They leave me alone which is exactly what I want.

3. As my professor once said (and totally stole from someone else), "the people who are the most talented and innovative with their code are probably the laziest in reality". I feel like this is pretty true, at least for me. Sometimes I see a simple repetitive task that I don't feel like doing, and I have the power to create a program to do it for me. Ultimate laziness with a fantastic result.

I missed many days of 100DaysOfCode challenge, almost quit and started playing games more often.🕹🎮

Now got some motivation and restarting it again from 0.♻

How do you guys stand still on something and motivated??

I see videos of motivation and it'll boost up for 2-3 days then I'll go back to laziness.🤒

Put EVERYTHING in the same single Controller because of laziness

atlassian confluence you sack of shit I make a page/document, you tell me one of the images is broken after saving

well fuck, how the fuck does this shit happen?

I assume you make oodles of cash from all the fucking companies who use your products and apparently there's no competitors with the level of integration from all the garbage of confluence, jira, bitbucket etc. At this rate maybe you can outdo Gamefreak in terms of ratio of profit to incompetence/laziness.

A bit long, sorry.

I "inherited" an A+ certification book from my older brother over 10 years ago after he saw me meddling with some old computers that still used SIMM's. I still lived in my native country at the time and got my A+ certification through my high school when I moved to the US. I knew before I got the book that my career would revolve around IT.

I learned HTML and CSS right after I finished high school and started working with JS and PHP because of WordPress a year later. To this day I still help family and friends with IT related stuff, but after digging into web development I made it my main focus. I am now working on my CS degree after failing at college years ago because of laziness and procrastination. I also work at an amazing startup as a software engineer for the web. That's it in a nutshell, questions are welcome.

Can I get a stress ball? 😅

That feeling when you inherit a script to automate something that takes 10 seconds. Why would they even write this? It's not like the task is hard....

...

And why would they write it this way? I'm sure if I just move this part and ....

That feeling when you spend several hours improving and redesigning a perfectly functional script to automate a 10 second task for zero gain aside from cleaner code. "But the code for this quick-and-dirty script I'm never going to look at again looks so much better now!"

... If only it did a bunch of complicated parsing, regex matching, and error checking just so I can answer one less prompt.... Unless that parsing fails. Then it should still ask me for that prompt... And also validate that the answers I give are valid and correct....

That feeling when you spend a whole nother day starting from scratch to implement error checking and complex parsing logic knowing full well the original task takes 10 seconds to do manually and is needed at most twice a day (for a grand total of 20s a day)

WHY AM I LIKE THIS?!?!?!

(!Rant)
Quasi real-time natural language translation. You guys think it will be a thing in our lifetime? I'm a novice programmer but i really want to contribute in this field. Aside of a deeper knowledge of linguistics, what would be beneficial code-wise if one would learn these things?
On this note; fuck learning Chinese - I'm a lazy nerd 😎

[ currently smashing my head against a wall for being too lazy to answer a Github response about a difficulty I had, and while I was writing my answer 3 days after, they closed my issue... I'M A MOROOOOOOON ]

Have you been scolded at workplace for not finishing the work before sprint end and the reason being not your laziness but your incompetency or zero/bare knowledge on the work?

How to feel less a loser in such situations?

Can we mix cocktails (of course not with soda) and keep them in the fridge? Just like how we compile libraries for future use. I'm too lazy (read Aussie) to mix cocktails in the evening while watching a movie or playing Ace Combat 7

Oneplus 5 suffers from battery drain with OOS 4.5.8.
Reverted to OOS 4.5.6, gaining better battery life, but a WiFi drain is still here and although I get through the day and more, it bugs me a lot.
Today I woke up thinking about updating to 4.5.8 again just because I'm an update maniac.
Gosh why can't I leave it alone?
(I have considered modding but for now I don't really want to go back on that road again because of laziness)

To be able to sleep all day long 😴😴

How do you handle your peer laziness? especially if he is your "CTO".

Hey, I actually calculated and averaged everything, and I found out I only spend about 43.4 repeating percent of my time awake actually working.
Can you all calculate yours as well to see if I’m a lazy slob or if this is normal?

I have always thought that lazy people make the best developers. If something is too routine/type consuming/redundant, create a program/function/app that takes care of that.

Share your favorite born-out-of-laziness story.

remember: the conficker table is still really useful in 2020 due to the prevalence of laziness in users and sysadmins. Use with permutations of some sort!

Supposed to code a new trading formula given to me by my boss into the system I'm developing, I understand the formula and know how to code it out, but the thing is

I'm so lazy to code or do anything since the last 6 hours.

What do you guys usually do to break this laziness issue?

Finally have my DCOS cluster running! On paper this should be amazing. But I have now figured out that the front end Devs have about 400 uncommitted HTML templates, which means I cannot proceed with out severe chaos! I spend so much time creating an awesome data centre, only to be thwarted by other peoples laziness!

So I've been working on a game for the past months (if I were to add up the time I actually worked) and was really self-concious that it isn't good enough to pass for a demo. I then spoke to devs who were showcasing their games and said they've been working on them for 1.5-2 years. I suddenly no longer feel bad and like a lazy piece of shit.

I get lazier and lazier with typing as the day goes on. Thank fuck for Intellisense.

$variable = (condition) ? 'static value' : 'static value';

Why do you need the conditional! 😵

Sending a link to a client with a shitty interface and asking him if the "fadein/fadeout" transition is okay for him, while I should have done this months ago, and while most of the backend job is done but I didn't link anything to the front-end yet.