Happy Diwali to all the dev-rantis from India

Was writing a word document.
Ended it with semicolon;

a workarround a day keeps the clean code away

I reached a point where I'll be happily working as the kid who serves coffee and tea to random strangers and not work at a company, as a freelancer OR WITH FUCKING HUMANS!

I'm out !!

Manager: Write a function to get tomorrow's date.

Kids:

int getTomorrowsDate() {
return getCurrentDate() + 1;
}

Legends:

int getTomorrowsDate() {
sleep(1000*60*60*24);
return getCurrentDate();
}

Look at Oracle being hipster and shit, releasing Java 9 and not 10.. sorry, I mean X.

Someone on the IP 127.0.0.1 has been creating a lot of bugs in my code, please beware of you notice any connections from that address.

The mobile web version of GitHub is absolute garbage. It's so shitty I don't even get why they bother. It lacks basic features like issue searching and the interface is so dumbed down everything just feels cheap and I always feel like I'm missing out.

All the devs I've talked to say they always just select "show desktop version." I do that too. It works perfectly. It's so fucking annoying. I wish they would just make a real mobile version, that's not missing features, or just default to the desktop app on mobile - works fine and everyone uses it anyway.

Linux is user friendly. It's just very picky about who its friends are.

Colleague: "What is a pl file?"

Me: "Oh thats a perl script"

Colleague: "So how do I edit it?"

Me: "Just break out emacs and modify that perl script lol"

Colleague: " *Triggered* did you just assume my text editor preference"

Me:" -_- what year is this ??"

who remember this ?

Couldn't help my self from sharing

Things I've learned throughout my 5 - 6 years as a programmer.
- StackOverflow is full of assholes.
- CMS's are for weaklings.
- The best feeling about waking up in the morning is figuring out how to solve that error in your code.
- You no longer think about normal people things. Your mind is full of code.
- You're practically a computer.
- ALWAYS backup and save your stuff or you WILL regret it. Enable autosave if possible.
- RIP your social life (if your friends don't know squat about programming)
- Darkness is better.
- Being a programmer is amazing.

A man flying in a hot air balloon suddenly realizes he’s lost. He reduces height and spots a man down below. He lowers the balloon further and shouts to get directions, "Excuse me, can you tell me where I am?"

The man below says: "Yes. You're in a hot air balloon, hovering 30 feet above this field."

"You must work in Information Technology," says the balloonist.

"I do" replies the man. "How did you know?"

"Well," says the balloonist, "everything you have told me is technically correct, but It's of no use to anyone."

The man below replies, "You must work in management."

"I do," replies the balloonist, "But how'd you know?"*

"Well", says the man, "you don’t know where you are or where you’re going, but you expect me to be able to help. You’re in the same position you were before we met, but now it’s my fault."

Countdown to Unix Time 1,500,000,000

https://epochconverter.com/countdow...

Unicode domains is the shittiest feature introduced in web recently.

People who came up with this idea must be fucking dumb or have ties with internet scammers.

After a long battle with CSS I give up and show the client a preview.
Client: I like how you made this first row a bit wider. Really makes it stand out.
Me: Yeah...right, that was intentional... 😎

If Chuck Norris asks a duplicate question on StackOverflow, the original question is closed as a duplicate.

By playing with Facebook source code in browser, you can enable GIF and Markdown, Tip Jar & many more options in comments.

I'm developing my "game engine" for over 2 years. 9 complete rewrite and 3 language change (c#->java->c++) but I love doing it. It's an amazing experience :D