Let's make a drinking game!

We will say random words. If there is a JavaScript framework with that name we have to take a shot.

20 minutes later we will need a liver transplant.

Trying to find the answer to a question for angular 2.
If it was posted yesterday it's probably outdated.

friggin' node dependencies

I just spent 20m debugging.

Basically bootstrap nav wasn't working. Couldn't understand why not.

Figured out its a an issue with the JS interfering so I remove the script reference from my HTML. Problem solved.

Okay,cool. Now let's add that file back in and figure out what caused the issue.

Hm. This line looks like it might be it *comments it out*...odd. Problem still happens.

*proceed to comment out and test every function to see what could be causing this issue*. Still happens. Fuck it. *comments the entire file out*

what the fucking fuck. I remove the script reference the problem is gone. I remove all code from the script - problem persists.

...wait...are you fucking kidding me. I OPENED THE WRONG JS FILE WITH THE SAME NAME BUT IN A DIFFERNT DIRECTORY.

The best part of all of these smartphone assistants is the unintentional humor.

Aren't all platforms built by developers ?? 🤔🤔it's like advertising and chicken bucket that has chicken in it XD

I don't think this is how heatsinks work...

PM: Please write more verbose error codes
ME: Sure...

Makes sense now

found this gem today.
P.S.
captcha - Completely Automated Public Turing test to tell Computers and Humans Apart.
ahh, seems promising!!

Going for my first code review. My colleagues and I will read through my main class, which is 832 lines long and a two-three comments.

The software development process.

I can't fix this.

*Crisis of confidence*
*Questions career*
*Questions life*

Oh it was a typo, cool.

If you only pay your junior web developer $11/hour to handle projects by themselves, what kind of quality of work do you expect to have?

If you had
one language
One framework
To code everything you want
Would you learn it or let it pass

His code is heavy,
arms are weak,
mind is bending.
It's all spaghetti.
He is nervous but looks calm and ready
to go now
but he keeps on forgetting
what he wrote down.
The manager is getting loud
He moves his mouse but the bugs won't got out
They are features now
Time to ship
Over blaow!

Software company director: we build Java applications right?
Devs: nah, javascript.
Director: it's the same, right?
Devs: no
Director: fuck, I pitched a Java application.

A few hours later...
Director on the phone: Yeah, we are building it in Java...

Saw this gem today. God damn it Siri

When you're getting paid by the hour instead of by the job.

Source: UNILAD Tech

Time spent on projects

Saavn(music streaming app), somebody is high.

Apparently thousands of our users are still using IE 6. While average users spend ~12 minutes on our site, they spend ~20 minutes.

Debugging be like...

!rant: Wondering how the hell you even graduated.

I fucking hate 1 week sprints that include review, planning, and retrospective, so technically the sprint is 4 days.

Fuck RECAPTCHA !

$ alias ls=reboot

Antivirus software that believes that client server programs you write are actually malware and quarantine them as soon as you compiled...

Mcafee

Microsoft Internet Explorer is my least favorite enterprise software. We are forced to use it. I hate being forced. This is like being asked to climb a mountain with a broken leg...not fun, painful, hopeless, threatening, discouraging, slow, and ugly, and infected...it is downright evil corporate bullshit.

<!--[if IE]>
<link rel="styleshit" type=trash/css" href="die-die-die-you-evil-bastard.css"/>
<![endif]-->

Just push it over the edge with a chrome sword stuck in its back. I will just sit here by the fire with my pet fox and watch the opera as I listen to vivaldi.

Whatever was running on that computer in Jurassic park with the gif of the fat guy saying "ah ah ah"

An ERP system still running on an IBM AS400. In 2016.