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Sales employee Bob wants a clickable blue button.
Bob tells product owner Karen about his unstoppable desire for clickable blue buttons.
Karen assigns points for potential and impact (how much does a blue button improve Bob's life, how many people like Bob desire blue buttons)
Karen asks the button team how hard it is to build a button. The button team compares the request to a reference button they've built before, and gives an ease score, with higher score being easier (inverse of scrum points).
These three scores are combined to give a priority score. The global buttonbacklog is sorted by priority.
Once every two weeks (a "sprint") the button team convenes, uses the ease scores to assign scrum points. Difficult tasks are broken up into smaller tasks, because there is a scrum point upper limit. They use the average of the last 5 sprints to calculate each developer's "velocity".
The sprint is filled with tasks, from the top of the global button backlog, up to the team's capacity as determined by velocity. Approximate due dates are assigned, Bob is a happy Bob.
What if boss Peter runs into the office screaming "OUR IMPORTANT CLIENT WANTS A FUCKING PINK BUTTON WHICH MAKES HEARTS APPEAR"?
Devs tell boss to shut the fuck up and talk to Karen. Karen has a carefully curated list of button building tasks sorted by priority, can sedate boss with valium so he calms the fuck down until he can make a case for the impact and potential of his pink button.
Karen might agree that Peter's pink button gets a higher priority than Bob's blue button.
But devs are nocturnal creatures, easily disturbed when approached by humans, their natural rhythms thrown out of balance.
So the sprint is "locked", and Peter's pink button appears at the top of the global backlog, from where it flows into the next sprint.
On rare occasions a sprint is broken open, for example when Karen realizes that all of the end users will commit suicide if they don't have a pink heart-spawning button.
In such an event, Peter must make Bob happy (because Bob is crying that his blue button is delayed). And Peter must make the button team of devs happy.
This usually leads to a ritual involving chocolate or even hardware gift certificates to restore balance to the dev ecosystem.25 -
Me : So how's the deadlines here?
Coworker : There are none.
Me : ?
Coworker : if they are unrealistic, we push non-working code. Prod comes up with bugs, and we get a new sprint to resolve those bugs.
Me: ╰[ ⁰﹏⁰ ]╯12 -
Manager: I need estimates for your sprint tasks
Me: I've never done any of this before, my estimates have no context and are effectively worthless
Manager: don't worry it's just for the Jira board.
Me: OK *gives estimates*
End of sprint comes...
Manager: Why isn't task X done?
Me: *sigh*
I don't miss my old job :)
3 -
PM : Have you finished the login issues?
Me, junior dev: No mister.
PM: Why not? You're going to delay the sprint.
Me: The other PM told me not to do it.
When you're the only dev in a project with two managers, life suddenly feels like you're back to 5 years old with your parents arguing all the time.6 -
My co-worker convinced me to post my setup up since this is what I'm using when I work from home, or go on a sprint. I'm way more productive here than the office! Maybe they shpuld just let me work from home indefinitely 😎
I like to think of this as my happy place :)
10 -
Product Owner: "Our definition of done is putting it on production. So you are only done if it's on production. Otherwise our sprint goal is failed."
So we put it on production.
After deploy, some content manager appears: "Why is the system doing things? I was told this should not happen today."
"Erm, we have put the feature on production as we are only done if it's on production."
"Well, yes. But it should not be live yet!"
Oh well. Communication, or the lack thereof, does never fail to amaze me ¯\_(ツ)_/¯5 -
A week in code:
Mon: Write all the code💻
Tue: Review all the code🔍
Wen: Fix all the broken code🔴
Thurs: Deploy🚢
Fri: Review all the code🔬4 -
During sprint retro on Friday,
SM: that is all for the sprint review, next on the sprint retro, any thought you might want to share?
Me: why don’t we just merge our squads? Both teams are basically working towards the same goals,
SM: why, is there any problem with our current setup?
Me: we were separated into two because one is working of the mobile app, and the other was rewriting the (n)th layer services, now that both are focusing our effort to the mobile of the app, we think it would more efficient to merge the team,
SM: because in agile, the recommended dev team size is between 3-9 persons, merging it will exceeds that,
Me: (thinks), and how many will it be when merged?
SM: it will be 10 people, exceeding the recommended 9
Me: (facepalm), that comes from you talking about it theoretically, I’m talking about practicality, the division of the team is not even balanced,
SM: (spouts some shit about research done regarding this matter)
Me: again, you are talking about something theoretical and research done who knows where, us devs are talking about the present state of the matter, and we consider it is in our best interest to merge the team, (explaining current issues about ineffective communication, unbalanced skillsets, etc)
SM: (repeat same shit about research done regarding this matter, with addition of it was done in our country)
*everyone starts bickering in disagreement,
...20 minutes later,
SM: alright, I’ll discuss with the “business guy” etc etc, we’ll see later
All: (sigh), finally...
SM: but as it stands, the ideal size for the dev team in agile....
All: not this shit again...
Later that day after a brief discussion among ourselves, it’s speculated that the team separation was to make the SM look good in front of the management (handling multiple teams and all, not like he actually “managed” it properly per se), including all the bullshit daily meeting in english,
As it turns out, *mild shock*, everyone has had enough with this sad excuse of a human being, tomorrow should be a fun monday,
14 -
Hey, remember that one feature that really needed to be in the release and you spend almost a week non stop at the office? Nobody is using it, we're gonna remove it this sprint.1
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I have to fill an Excel spreadsheet with reasons why I haven't completed the tasks which are explicitly marked as blocked by another tasks which are not yet marked as completed.
Reason for not completing it this sprint? I don't even know... Maybe because IT'S FUCKING BLOCKED? Also, planning practices in this project suck like a jailbait whore sucking her daddy's cock.
I can't even. 🤦9 -
Some words of wisdom passed on by our Scrum.
1. I am responsible for setting boundaries. Work time, sleep time, family time, me time. If I don't set them properly, things WILL get unbalanced very quickly. (And I would add, burnout will follow closely).
2. Being productive isn't about doing more and more in less time. It's about doing only the most important things well, and either saying no to the other things, or finding another way to get them done. (Prioritize!)
3. I can't win (let alone run) a marathon by thinking of it as a 26 mile long sprint, or a week as a five day sprint. (Eat a digital elephant a byte at a time).
4. Loved ones are good judges of when things are in and out of balance.
5. Taking time off is essential. Vacations, yes, but also nights and weekends. (Or you WILL burn out and hate what you do).
Comments in () are mine.1 -
Agile in practice.
I finished my story with 3 days left in our 2 week sprint.
Me: What story should I pull in next?
PM: Story <number> to add <new feature>
Me: ok, sounds good
PM: Will you finish it before our sprint ends?
Me: No, probably will take me 5-7 days.
PM: But it can't spill over, it will make our metrics look bad.
Me: I can't finish it in 3 days.
PM: ....
Me: Can't you just explain the spillover as us working ahead?
PM: It will look bad on our <automated-report>
Me: ....
Me: So don't want me to get started on <new feature>?
PM: ....
Me: <internally sighing> What do you want me to do?
PM: Maybe you can pair program with <Overpaid-Idiot-Programmer> to help finish their story
Me: ....
Me: feelsbadman.jpg15 -
Today:
9 am - 2:30 pm - customer mtng
2:45 pm - 3:25 pm - team mtng
3:30 pm - 5 pm - sprint planning mtng
Anyone ever literally be in a meeting the WHOLE day? ... 😢 🔫11 -
#workingfromhomeissues
Tomorrow is our half day long sprint planning meeting. I'm excited to be on mute and play with my new puppy all day.
1 -
Alright I get the importance of project planning but having a Sprint meeting at 7am is just insane.1
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When your co-worker of 2 years forgets to sweeten your tea.. (on the last day of a sprint no less)
where my fellow while(tea > 0){write(code)} peeps at
25 -
As a few of you possibly read in my last rant, I had to refactor a lot of my current story's code right before the deadline because senior colleague A "requested" it. Now my teamlead, who wasn't present yesterday, isn't happy with A wanting those changes. The discussion tomorrow will not be fun. Ffs people, the end of a sprint is NOT the right moment for that kind of shit. I'm not sure whether to bring popcorn or booze, so I can make my coffee Irish.2
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1. Pre-sales to Client: We can develop 200 APIs with 10 developers in 9 months.
2. Client: Ok! Cool, its a deal.
-- Sprint starts --
3. Actual: We are 6 developers, commited (or sold out) to make 200 APIs in 9 months.
Fucking pre-sales.3 -
Desktop SSD just failed. All VMs lost. Domain admins too drunk to fix. No timesheets no sprint diary no mail no IM.6
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Pro tip to scrum masters: bringing a scrum suitcase to your sprint meetings is more useful than bringing scrumbags.
1 -
Frack..people suck.
In sprint planning meeting, prioritizing the tasks...
ScrumMaster: "Next item, create a spreadsheet that identifies the systems used by order processing so the PO can identify errors by system."
Me: "That's already done."
ScrumMaster: "Did you work ahead of the sprint again?"
- Really trying not to throw something heavy at his head.
Me: "No, you did back in January."
- SM stutters..um..uhhs...
ScrumMaster: "No, I never did that...see."
- SM navigates to the sharepoint directory
Me: "Yep, there it is."
ScrumMaster: "I didn't create it, you must have."
Me: "Created by...you."
ScrumMaster: "Uh...um....I might have added it to sharepoint, but doesn't mean I created it. Anyway, lets take a look..."
- opens the spreadsheet
ScrumMaster: "What is this? Did you simply export the sharepoint list to excel?"
- Getting harder and harder to resist the urge to throw something heavy at his head.
Me: "I don't know what that is, you created it. You commented on the Trello card that this task item was done."
ScrumMaster: "No, I've never seen this or made any comment on the Trello board...lets look ..."
- FRACK!!! TRELLO IS DOWN!!!
ScrumMaster: "When Trello comes back up I'll assign the card to you. Lets stay on task with the cards from now on. Next item ... "
Trello up, 3 hours later, back at my desk, there is his fracking comment from January about uploading the spreadsheet to sharepoint. Frack frack frack people suck3 -
STOP. LOOKING. AT. HALF. FINISHED. SPRINTS. FOR. STYLING. ERRORS.
For the love of god I know it's not right yet leave me aloooooone7 -
PM: This feature should take you about 6 hours to complete.
Me: Psh if that, it's just a view.
PM: Actually it needs this logic as well. *sends requirements*
Me: OK that's way more than a view... *gets it done and commits*
QA: I need this logic to work a way that was never on the requirements.
Me: Yeah, that's an additional feature but I'll do it. *commits and passes QA*
PM: So why didn't you finish everything on this sprint... you said that 6 hours was more than enough time.1 -
A new producer started to pick up where the previous guy had rage quit. He looked at our sprint plan and announced it.
"According to this schedule, by these estimates, to hit our goal we have to somehow all work 27 hours a day, 7 days a week, for the next month."2 -
This month is going pretty well so far..
New job: ☑️
Get out of FinTech: ☑️
New place: ☑️
Get rid of car #1: ☑️
Get rid of car #2: ☑️
Pay a shit lot of taxes: ☑️
Still have some money to on the side: ☑️
Book flight&car: ⬜️
Register in new country: ⬜️
And still 2 weeks to go.
Holidays are coming though..
I actually did a sticky label agile board for this 😄9 -
Me when I fuck up my sleep schedule badly by turning my life into a coding sprint and then trying to go normal
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My team are so needy and incapable of figuring anything out independently that I've basically not got any of my sprint tasks done so far. So today I told them that I was working from home for a day to actually get done work done, but I'm on Slack if they really need me.
The only observable difference now is that instead of just bugging me, they start every conversation with, "sorry, I know you're busy, but..."3 -
12 days of work, 12 fucking days straight and I meet the Friday deadline for this ridiculous sprint of never ending tasks.
There’s no better feeling then bringing everything together at 5pm on Friday, pushing to Git and waking out that door knowing there’s nothing more to do until Monday’s testing!!!!
Now excuse me while I go sleep my weekend away!3 -
I don't know what's wrong with my job..
-I am an opensource developer
-But my colleagues ask for ITIS issues
-My manager asks to interview 20 people in 2 hrs
- asks to prepare a KT schedule.
-Asks to attend few meetings
- And asks the status of the sprint task everyday
Typical managers 😣1 -
Every sprint, the beast grows.
Every sprint, we'll sort it "later".
Every sprint, we suffer more.
We warned them, but they did not listen. The technical debt rapture has begun.
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So my company hired this very old guy. The oldest developer I have worked with. I feel they took him just because of diversity.
Because he was absolutely incompetent.
Nothing he wrote ever worked, he got in conflict with everyone, made stupid jokes at meetings, asked the dumbest questions. His stories would hang for weeks, hopping sprint over sprint. Once he delivered something, his code had to be re-written from scratch. A code review couldn't even be applied as the code was worthless, so it just made sense to reassign his tasks to someone else and move on.
So after much drama he was let go. It was maybe two years ago and I recently connected with him on LinkedIn. He's changed four or more jobs since then. Prior to coming to our company he also job-hopped all the time (but most likely he was actually fired every time). His average job duration was like 6 months. Apart from that, he had a 20+ year stay with some government agency.
I fail to grasp how he ever gets hired anywhere with all the red flags. Over two decades with some govt agency (in my country they are all crap). Then change jobs every half an year or so. Then the asshole attitude. And finally, they probably never asked him any technical questions, because he knew nothing. Our interns who were just one month into the job were better by a WIDE margin.7 -
I start to grasp why sprints are called the way they are. tomorrow is the last day of my first one and I'm fucking exhausted.8
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I finished a story of my sprint in VueJS, which is new to me, with occasional help from colleague A. I put it through to code review, and colleague B refuses to approve it before I rebuild half the codebase of my story to improve it. In a framework I am still very much learning. The sprint ends in two days. There isn't enough coffee for this. Fml. Help.9
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Company: Okay lets do Agile on this project! And every sprint is equivalent to 3 weeks!
Us: Wow! That's nice!
Company: We need to finish the project with in one month.
Us: Wait. What??!!!!3 -
From a buddy:
A friend's comment on the latest merge conflict on the integration branch:
"O brachName! my branchName! our fearful sprint is done,
The build has failed with every merge, the goal we sought not won,
The release is near, the worst I fear, would Product be exulting?" -
Client: we are using Scrum. Next week we have sprint review organized by the project manager.
Me: it’s not Scrum.
Client: in the next sprint we work on a mockup not releasable in production.
Me: it’s not Scrum.
Client: sprint backlog is changed again, at the end we must do everything that is written in the contract with that fixed amount of money.
Me: definitely not Scrum.
Client: we are using Scrum.
Me: Ok.1 -
!rant
Upper management finally caved in to the endless change requests from business and explicitly made the following statement:
"We won't overpromise and under-deliver. With that, we are reducing the committed scope of development work per sprint, but will continue to deliver the same final deliverables by the delivery dates"
So all our compressed project timetables just got uncompressed, and we finally have the breathing room we've been begging for since 2017. Any change requests from business will be (finally) backlogged.
On the other hand, the number of projects have increased to fill out the new extra dev time, but at least we're now less stressed at work. Priorities!1 -
Preparing to debug racing condition between 20 different threads.
Not looking forward to this sprint :(5 -
This week's sprint:
Bugs that cannot be reproduced
Features that are vague as shit
Man fuck this week...1 -
So there's a new team member in the project (me & him), he's assigned to make the frontend, which is great since I'm so proficient doing back. But he starts by doing backend tasks and the fucking frontend which is the most delayed part of the project is still untouched.2
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So salty. Just got off from a long day at work with my coworkers after a significant sprint, so we all go to karaoke to celebrate and let loose. But naturally I have to be under 21, and the karaoke place cards, so I end up taking an Uber home by myself, which felt really fucking embarrassing. I wish there were venues in the city that didn't require you to be above the magical number of 21 years of age to have a good time.5
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A delicious Sprint Planning 😋
It was a hard sprint (SCRUM methodology), but finally we were on our next’s sprint planning meeting. We had a lot of tasks to define and estimate. For the first one, we all estimated the task with 5 points, and for the second one we voted for 3 points. We were coordinated XD so, our boss said “let’s do something, if all of you vote, let’s say, 5, and another votes for a different number, he or she’s gonna buy us a six pack of beer”. Challenge accepted.
Two partners and I have to buy beers for this friday after work 😂 I don’t even mad 😋🍻
4 -
Gotta love product owners that don't seem to understand agile.
We delivered the set number of items in the sprint we committed to plus a little extra polish. During the last day of the sprint we're spending the time to push all our work to UAT do he can actually perform acceptance testing...
He decides he should chase all of us up on stuff that we never commited to or even mentioned we'd touch.
Had to explain it to him at least 5 times during the day.5 -
Before starting sprint we gave estimations, while discuss with my team, my project manager also part of the meeting. After three weeks my project manager start give list of tasks like this is API and this is front end and also estimations based on our previous sprint plan.
We pissed off. After that we never include our manager in technical meeting.
FYI - If you're using Google sheets for ball park estimations never give permission to your project manager to edit sheet.2 -
Each sprint lasts for 2 weeks. But I get the basic info to start working on my stories only when 3/4th of the sprint is completed....
So yeah....no one gives shit about estimation at least in my case.7 -
It's sprint meeting day! Time to grab some coffee because it's going to be 5 hours of PMs ranting about tickets and progress. Yay!
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So a few months ago, I had this massive feature to add to one of the projects I look after. That’s usually not a problem, turning a sprint into a month+ but what ever, this feature was going to save hours of data entry and is extremely needed!!!
Come to present day, this feature hasn’t been used once, and probably won’t be for another 6 months. I just love deploying “needed” things that don’t get used. -
The whole point of having a daily scrum is to let your team know about the progress you've made from last day and what you'd be needing to stick to the sprint plan.
So ideally everyone has 30-60 seconds to give a gist of their activities. And a small scrum team would be productive because everybody is on the same page.
Our scrum meetings usually wait for all of us to assemble with our coffees and donuts, sit down, joke, and then agonizingly go over everybody's existential crisis as a developer because of the task they've been assigned to has too many dependencies. And this happens every single fucking day! These "scrum" meetings tend to go for 1 hour. FML!6 -
I bought a new carbon fiber bike (I am into cycling the last two years) and it is fantastic. Lightweight, it feels responsive as hell and really easy to sprint on. BUT, I am fucking sick and I can't ride it to train... All I can do for now is looking at it. FML.13
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When your sprint review is turned into a 5 hour argument about how to effectively do scrum and all you want to do is code.1
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No matter how much I try my boss keeps trying to shove future or unsolicited features on every fucking current sprint as if we weren't delayed already...
Wtf dude? We get paid by delivery, let's just fucking deliver what they expect by each deadline and move on...12 -
When an application has tons of security holes and fixes never make it into sprint prioritization because "they're not new features"4
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The sprint tasks are finished a week early. Spent half day sitting in my office and squeezing the stress ball.
Looking forward to get some more task tomorrow1 -
Rant time of 'Derp & Co.'
Today I decided that I am going to find another job, I just can't keep with this shit.
They said that use Agile: FALSE.
• Daily (best scenario) take like 1 hour and a half.
• New task enter the sprint and "Fuck you, more task in the same time". This is something regular done.
• "Oh, dev, we need you to check this other project" I am in the middle of my sprint on this project. "But you have to fix this bug here". (3 fucking days the bloody bug) "You are late again with tasks".
• Meeting for fresh sprint: 6 BLOODY hours... nonstop
The workflow is garbage:
• SOMEONE should did all the devops shit on the first sprint, guess what? They did nothing!, guess now who is being blamed for it (not only me, but a few coworkers).
• Nothing is well designed/defined:
~ task are explained like shit
~ times measured wrongly
~ We are in the last fucking SPRINT and still doing de ER of the DataBase cause Oh, apparently no one has work before with SQL (damn you MongoDB! (Not really)) so I am doing my best, but "jezz dev, this is so hard... maybe we can do it WRONG and easy".
~ No one is capable of take responsability of their mess, they just try to push down the problems. (Remember the devops situatuion? Why is.my fault? I came at the 3 or 4 sprint and I am doing backend tasks, I know nothing about devops).
But the big prize, the last one:
• Apparently you can't send whatever you want to the boss, it has to pass a filter previously of coordinators and managers, hell yeah!
And I am an idiot too!
because I see that we can't reach our schedule and do hours on my spare time!
This is because there are a few good coworkers who probably ended with my unfinished tasks... and they are equaly fucked as me...
This is just the tip of the iceberg. I am not a pro, I am not a full stack developer and still need to learn a lot, but this is just not normal, eight months like this...4 -
When there’s a glaring user-facing issue in your company’s app that can cause the user to spend mobile data after specifically choosing a setting that’s supposed to prevent that.
And your boss says your fix is “out of scope for the current sprint.” And the product team agrees with him.
I ALREADY DID THE WORK AND HAD IT VERIFIED BY QA.
Sometimes I Hate agile. Then again, I don’t think we’re doing it quite right anyway.2 -
Part? The whole damn thing.
We are supposed to be practicing agile, but I haven't seen a single sprint plan till date. All we do is solve issues that are reported from production/QA.
Nobody follows proper documentation, no reviews, no proper version control... Can't wait to finish my contract here and get the hell out.1 -
Twitter app update: Home/Search/Notifications/Messages buttons jump from the top of the screen to the bottom. What a productive sprint this must have been at Twitter.6
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When the PO asks for a last second code change right before the sprint review, and now it's your turn to demo
2 -
When the PM schedules you for 160 hours in an 80 hour sprint... I didn't enjoy living my life anyways, apparently. FMDL.3
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One week into my new job as a junior mobile developer I receive my stickers from devrant (for posts I made while still a project manager and self-studying to get where I am now) - on the same day I did my first 12hr workday to complete work for my first sprint.
1 -
So after months of self study my company finally appoints me as a junior developer with a major client as the intermediate dev on the project resigned. My tech lead assures me that junior devs only fix bugs and do other minor changes. One week in and in our first sprint planning session the client decides to priorities a Major update to the app. Now I have 2 weeks to deliver what will either make or break my immediate career. And I have no idea how to implement any of the changes. Stack overflow you're my only hope (and many hrs of YouTube tutorials)3
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Last night I was told I had an doctor's appointment...
That screws up my plans for joining a Hackerrank Code Sprint
Well this morning there was a thunderstorm and just before leaving, got a call from them.
The appointment is canceled because they don't have power!
The funny part is today is gorgeous, sunny and warm.
So is this like an act of a god, Hacker God? -
Today at 'Derp & Co' a fellow co-worker decided that had duplicated data on Relational DB is good!
- Dev: 'but what if we have 2 companies in diferents groups?''
- co-worker: 'Just call it company A and Company B'
- Dev: 'but... this is not what...'
- co-worker: 'Trust me Dev, is the easy way'
I want the professional way, not the easy (and damn wrong) way :(, I can't improve myself like this.
Also, dead line is here too... TT^TT
Last sprint and still with doubts about the DB structure.12 -
So I finished all my tasks for the sprint (3-weeks long) in the first 2 days.
Shit that happens when senior team members underestimate your abilities...4 -
After the end of Sprint, well, the QA people came up with this defect ( mind it 'defect' ) : "The exclamation mark is not very red" [ sic ]
Cancer died a death that moment. -
Sprint for a website due Monday, would of been nice to get the website designs before Wednesday :/ and the content before yesterday.....2
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So, it’s 2nd week of the sprint, and I literally received to do only all the shitty stories.
During sprint I only wrote 3 lines of code to fix a bug for a workaround (yup...).
All other time went into analyzing impact for future features, bugs and other bullshit. But implementing them is not in scope of the upcoming release...
And today I have been working as a QA, because our actual QA doesn’t have time to test everything our two other devs on the team implemented.
Also I can’t pickup anything new, because there is no time left in sprint thus I am stuck doing all above.
SO FUCK AGILE, SCRUM AND THIS MOTHERFUCKING SPRINT!!!5 -
I really want to stress that we should add the ticket for adding the missing test cases in *this* sprint and not postpone it any further.
-- "Isn't there something more important to be added instead?"
There. ALWAYS. Is. Something. MORE. Important. The real problem was that we implement the test cases in the past to begin violating our definition of done. We have to fix and one point and we have to own that decision as nobody else will care about passing tests and test coverage. It's our job to care for that.
Yes, we can instead focus on all the other high-priorities task that should have been done yesterday, yet that won't change the fact that large part our codebase will remain an untested messy blackbox just asking for weird bugs and wild goosechases in the future.
Don't hide behind "high priority tasks". A job is done when it is fucking done and tests are part of that. Hurrying from one important task to the next will just mean we'll never do it. There is no better time than right now.
If code coverage got left behind in the past, then we'll have to suck it up in order to fix it as soon as possible, otherwise we'll just suck forever.1 -
Today is release day...big sprint (complete UI redesign) ... Already 1 and half month late ... fingers crossed (specially for in house clients)3
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One Pro Tip for all developers :
(in my experience - a short story)
Our team chose agile development. We have items to deliver each sprint.
I was the guy who would always slip in my tasks due to issues that would pop up.
It was due to my own faults, I was less careful and failed to concentrate on one single item when I was working.
I started slipping a lot and my manager started questioning me on my performance. I tried a lot of productivity apps and other methods. Nothing seemed to change my life.
One day, An experienced person in the team said to me,
"Start Going to the gym" and it'll change everything.
I enrolled to the nearest gym and started working out every morning. Had sore arms /legs in the first few days. Nothing seemed to change.
After one week, my work patterns changed. I automatically started to work with a lot of concentration. I still don't know how things changed.
After 2 weeks, everything was completely different.
I was able to complete my sprint tasks in the first few days and started contributing to others work. Got a lot of recognition. My work was recognized a lot and my manager appreciated me.
So this is a real life changer folks.
"start hitting the GYM", and it'll change your life.
Please try it out and tell me how your work patterns change.4 -
In "Sprint Planning", the team is supposed to come up with stories, break those down into tasks, estimate those tasks as a team, then let devs choose what tasks they want to work on based on the stories pulled into that particular sprint.
Instead, our manager creates the stories. He assigns the stories to each developer and then has that developer announce his theoretical tasks (without any research on feature's or project's requirements!) in front of the entire team. So, when I say, "I think it will take me 6 hours to implement this feature", he says, "6 hours? I think it will take 3." and then types the estimate as 3. I have so much rage when that happens. Then we continue to sit in the room for 2.5 hours where we go through this long data entry mess of him typing out tasks and second guessing estimates. There is no team deliberation or collaboration, its whatever the manager says.
While there are many issues I take with this approach, my pet peeve would be the second guessing of the estimates. It would make sense for teams members to second guess estimates as long as they are the same teammates who have the ability and possibility to take on the tasks themselves.
But I disagree with a manager seconding guessing an implementation feature that "I" definitely have to do alone, and they do not possess the immediate knowledge to implement it themselves.5 -
Happened in December, had devs from "big" companies coming over to our start up and doing a sprint with us. Very humbling 🙂2
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Today at 'Derp & Co' is the end of the last sprint, no one have close all the task asigned. Myself included.
- that sucks...
Because there are task from previos sprints still in TODO that block other tasks.
- oof
But there is more... Yesterday was the deadline of the project. From today and onwards the client get discount.
- oof (but fair to the client)
Management have in mind AT LEAST 4 more weeks of development.
- But... how... wtf?
In 2 weeks part of the hardware we need for the project will return to the client.
- <smash the door and leave>
Management still is asking if we can do it on time...
- yeah... just call the Doctor, we need a TARDIS ASAP2 -
You know what's fun? When your client insists you use an agile process with a delivery at the end of each sprint, then proceeds to bitch at each release at the features that weren't implemented yet. The thing isn't even slated to be done until 4Q 2018 and is on schedule/early. Glad I am not on that team . . . yet.
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So we have a long weekend here (4 days) due to a national holiday, and I already spend 2.5/4 days coding for work, doing tasks for a sprint that didn't even start yet, just so when I go back to work, I can feel like I do nothing and still earn money1
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Few months ago I was working on something rhat wasn't mission critical for the current sprint. Near the end of the month I was asked to help the BD team (which usually do the testing) with testing the webapp as well as the mobile versions. First day of me testing ever, found more bugs by myself than the 5 BD people did in the entire week. Really felt like a boss. Next month they asked me to help again. And again. And again.
This is how my desk looks nowdays (the 3 phones are behind the laptop charging)
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my ex-boss in our Sprint -Meeting: Last Sprint we finished X-Points, well then this Sprint we should add X+100 points.
Next meeting he would rate a 1 in happyness because we didnt finish in time1 -
I find it so frustrating that i have to do my frontend coding in the same sprint the designer is working out what i’m suppose to create.
This isn’t working people!
I have got jackshit to do because all i can do is wait for the design but mr. Designer is pixelfucking his ass off.
Seriously, i’m working here for a couple of months but already looking around for vacancies.2 -
That moment when agile means "I will sneak in new feature requirements in with your bug tickets even though our sprint is supposed to be only stabilization". Thanks PM Lord.
-
MEETINGS
Daily stand up
Weekly status
Fortnightly update
Monthly planning
Life would be so much simpler without meetings. Just chat, why fuss over "meeting"?
As it is most of the things don't go as per what's planned in the monthly planning meeting.
Neither is there much of an update in the fortnightly update meeting. Only update is what we planned, isn't the right direction.
This will obviously screw up the weekly status. Screwed up planning is dishevelled implementation.
Daily stand up is just very sleep deprived developers, who don't wanna talk.
Make it my time's worth; say no more meetings. -
Quiet working environment (aside from hearing a joke from time to time)
Fast computer, lots of screens, keyboard and mouse of my choice
Good product owner that doesn't accept bullshit request into the sprint
No legacy crap5 -
Sharing a branching strategy that I came up with at work, and we've been using quite successfully. We don't run into a lot of conflicts, and it allows us to ensure all feature development is completely isolated.
The strategy is simple. Production is master, and that is the current running code. From that, you branch off a new branch for every sprint that you are working on.
From the sprint, each developer will do their "base development" branch. For each feature or task they are to do, they branch off their base development branch, perform testing, then mark the feature as completed with the name of the branch they are working on.
When they have completed a feature, they checkout their base development branch, branch off of it, and then repeat the process of development.
Near the end of the sprint, the team leader/manager will one-by-one pull in each of the branches under their team and perform tests. The ones that pass get included, and the ones that fail excluded.
When all of the pulls are done, it gets tested and pushed to QA. The diagram I included assumes you have more than one team working on different sprints.
We've been using this strategy, and with a single dev-team (all working on one sprint), we rarely have branch merging problems and it becomes very easy to diagnose which branches are an issue.
I figured I'd share this because it is a very useful strategy that perhaps more teams can use if they aren't already :)
5 -
I just got an email from the project manager:
"Hi Team,
Please make sure to review the 7/12 sprint requests for (x project). Please add your estimates even if the requirements are ambiguous. Thank you."3 -
Ah yes i also love not having a meeting before our first sprint because 'there is nothing to talk about yet'. I see absolutely no way this could ever go wrong.1
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When you're at the end of a sprint, implemented a cool new feature and only the garbage issues are left over -.-
-
So my colleague sees an iPad on a desk that someone has left by accident. He puts in the wrong password a bunch of times to lock it for an hour as a joke and accidentally wipes it!! Turns out it was about to be used for end of sprint client demo 😂2
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I love adding documentation in a sprint and then it prevents us from releasing a product because someone did not finish the story. *doing Agile wrong*
-
Don't check in a major/ groundbreaking change a day or two before sprint demo! However confident you are about your code just postpone it until after all sprint demos 😷
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Last week i had a talk with my boss. Actually he more had a talk with me. Why i wasn’t able to finish my work the sprint before. I told him i had to run not one, but two project at the same time and on top of that had to show a new coworker around.
Some how i keep thinking about quitting this shit.3 -
The worst part about owning a non Nexus Android phone is the long wait for the next version of Android. I want 7.0 but I'm not even sure if my s7 edge on Sprint will get it before the year is over
9 -
So someone complained to my bosses boss about some internal page where I collected some of our own funny git commit messages, because they were not "meaningful", and I had to take down said page.
Fuck that narrow-minded seriousness, why be so German? If we have to debug multi-threaded C++ programs, we need that bit of fun and sarcasm to stay sane. But probably that someone is a member of some of these "professional" Agile teams that waste a day a week with fucking retros, sprint planning or other mind-crippling meta stuff, then evaluating frameworks and tools, while we are doing motherfucking programing. -
I did some investigation on Jira board. There was a story in Oct to design solution for a problem and a senior engineer has commented saying it was done.
The same story opened again in December and another senior engineer has commented saying "canonical and solution is designed"
But FUCKING IDIOTS didn't do anything! Last sprint I got the development story for same and I have been fucking waiting for them to give me solution. But idiots are way too lazy to do any work!1 -
Been on a fairly large project for the past two months. Been getting more and more productive and confident with each sprint! Always informed that I’m doing fine. Left a four hour task in progress for a day or so while tending to a PR which had been pending for a week and a half and was currently under review. Removed from the project due to issues with velocity.1
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I've been a "firefighter" on our big money-making project for like a year now and probably will be for the next year. Every sprint, fully booked out.
However, this sprint, some people think I have time to brainstorm, learn new tech and attend meetings related to a completely new project.
"Will it done in 2 weeks?"
"How long do you estimate?"
I can knock up a rough version of your fucking application in about a week if someone grows some fucking balls and schedules me some fucking time for it. STFU and stop interrupting my other work. Allocate some time or shove it up your ass so far until you regurgitate it then swallow it again and choke on it. -
Don't forget to give the developers the opportunity to innovate. Nobody wants to sit and type out the same structures day after day. That's not why we got into this job. We like solving problems. In my current team we set aside some time every sprint to spend on individual innovation. Super useful as it gives us the chance to break out from the standard chugging of the backlog and spend some time trying to solve some of the trickier problems and bringing improvements back to the product that we discovered by messing around with stuff. If you are reading this and you are in charge of a development team, try this out for a sprint or 2.2
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Definitely the meetings. Not sure if the "Meeting to prepare for the Sprint Planning" or the "Planning meeting to prepare for the Meeting to prepare for Sprint Planning".
I know it sounds like I'm joking, but it actually happened 2 months ago.1 -
As I am now in a leading position in the middle of a agile transition:
has anyone got a source for a project done completely with user stories?
I am searching a real life example with already finished stories an active backlog and a documentation.
I just can't wrap my head around it. When and what do you document? In which Form do you document? How are you writing user stories with more content like diagrams and such?
(we use jira and confluence but just started with stories)
I read some articles on the topic and watched some talks but sill don't get the picture.8 -
I get to learn so many different things in DevRant, that I want to add it as my task in the Sprint Board
-
In my last sprint planning my Project Manager said: "...Drupal is a programming language, like swift or jquery.."
And my boss wonders why our plannings take so long.
😳🤔😭😭😭😭😭3 -
So as I mentioned previously, I recently started a new job.
My old job was a total free for all with zero planning, so I'd never logged time, done sprints, etc.
Started my first week-long sprint today. Done majority of it already, and my code quality is much higher than I managed to churn out at my old place.
It's nice being able to focus and not being asked how to fucking float something or what an if statement is every fifteen minutes. -
rant
When you come 1000kms away from office to home.. and promise to do WFH and the wifi at home is slow...
Killing me!!
Too many backlogs this sprint... -
I love when my lead decides that we need to do "proper" agile after he got talked to by his boss for not running the team the right way.
Even after being talked to, he still hasn't closed out the last sprint, and we are now four days into the current one without any assigned tasks, and he hasn't been in the office the entire week.
I love my job <3 -
I fucking hate 1 week sprints that include review, planning, and retrospective, so technically the sprint is 4 days.1
-
20 issues assigned to me this sprint with very vague titles and in the requirements it says "See *person name* for details"
Lesson learned: Never go on vacation during the spring planning meeting.3 -
As both a developer and consumer of a cellular phone service, the latest Sprint slogan "works for me" is unintentionally hilarious.
-
Our "agile" process uses one-month long sprints, ending on the last day of the month with a demo. (I'll rant some other time about non-consistent iteration lengths.)
Our sprint ends today (Monday). What was the most logical time to introduce changes that affect the architecture and break every single build? How about 4PM last Friday?
We're still waiting on the build breaker to show up while trying to figure out what the heck we can cobble together and run to show that we actually did something in the last month.2 -
Facepalm Monday...
My collegue denies to provide breaking changes in our login API in a separate version to the other teams depending on it.
What is the reason for his stubborn rejection?
It's scrum. We haven't planned the effort for realising a versioning concept for our API.
Let's build it in the next sprint as a part of live deployment strategy.
The point he miss is that the ProductOwner wants his API change deployed during the next sprint.
Additionally, it is best practice, having a compatible, deployable product after each sprint, without any risks.
Furthermore, another best practice to provide your API is one URI without a version part holding the current development of the API. And URIs with a version part in it to keep a specific request/response structure and behavior.
What really grind my gears are sayings like 'if the other teams had well programmed their software, modifying our API won't have any effect on them'
C'mon dude. That's far from reality, as anybody knows.
I can't accept, we provide unprofessional API builds, as he is going to do.
So, i have to spend my time and energy to change his mind, together with other software-architects, planning the big thing API-Gateway *sigh*2 -
Had a four hour retro/review yesterday. Plus a mini demo I had to put together. Three hour sprint planning session today.
And they still wanted me to go to some "company values" meeting tomorrow, aside from the weekly call I have to report progress. Fuck that shit.
I feel like I got nothing done this week. Monday and Tuesday were fine for the most part, but since it's been just complete idling.
I mean, I love my company, great coworkers, good management, and just all around great experience. But man, it gets frustrating when you lose so much development time... I wanted to sprinkle in some extra goodies for the next sprint, but it doesn't look like that's gonna happen.2 -
When your IT department needs to make a DNS entry for you and it's been blocking your sprint for 9 days.1
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I have 2 juniors working under me that i need to assist with work. I dont mind helping at all because i was in the same boat. The problem is.. 1 of the developers asks questionsnon the last minute (a few hours before demo of weeks sprint) telling me she doesnt understand and i spend all week asking her, if shes okay, does she understand, does she need help, is the work too much, should we take a few hours to rerun through things and even while explaining things after planning, she just says "yes" and "i understand" and has the body language of "i want to get away here" ans doesnt even let me finish my sentances before interrupting mentonsau "yes" or something in that line to end the conversation. I dont know what to do because its going to start affecting my work and the ammount of work i can take for the week because i have to help her do the work on the last day and finish it just so she can look like the sprint was successful.
Any suggestions to help me help her? I really want to see her succeed but i can tell she isnt taking it as serious as she should or putting in as much as she likes because our company is very flexible woth everything and i don't want to get a project manager vibe around her7 -
In my whole 2 years I've been assigned to client, I've only once used a 1 day sick leave.
Meanwhile in the current team I'm working with for the past year (~12 people, consisted of internal and also external devs like me), there's an average of at least 3 sick people/week,
*sigh
Ironically, the missing persons doesn't actually made any difference to the team's productivity, it's always a shitshow every end of sprint 🤣🤣2 -
Dual Core blasting on a friday morning... gotta love it. finished my sprint on time, now cleaning up.
1 -
I hate reactive management.
It's when your boss instills fake urgency every time a client asks for something close to impossible, or <x> competitor is doing something in a different way he deems the best.
Everything must be dropped, the sprint put on hold, fuck requirements, everybody has to do overtime, why are you not contributing?, why are you going home when you have to?, fuck do I care you have a 1 hour commute - this <y> thing has to be made by sunrise tomorrow or it's a showstopper.
And it's never a showstopper. 90% of the time the feature gets dropped one-two months down the line.1 -
Spent an entire day clearing the backlog of the previous sprints in JIRA. Now i am seeing jira numbers everywhere :/2
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I cant with this company any longer.
Most of it is crap but this is too much
Retrospective meeting after 2weeks sprint.
Sprint board for the meeting, in the not good section
1 -
A whole bunch of new features were added mid-sprint without ever consulting any of the development team. They dogpiled on devs from other projects who had no prior experience with the code base, so naturally I lose traction because I'm tied up answering questions and explaining things.
This sprint I'm not getting any feature work done as I'm stuck fixing bugs and awful half-ass implementations (by well meaning devs that were thrown at unrealistic expectations).
Concerned at the burn down rate, next week they're planning on dogpiling on more guys to play catch up.
I'm so sad -
> client has no infrastructure of the project
> dev like me still work on it
> I constantly request for mock-ups and infrastructure
> client never responds back, instead he raises issues ahead of sprint
> I snap back at him
> Client wants call now
> What the fuck
To be honest, I'm gonna take a stand here...fuck this shit man, no clear way of working
4 -
Day 1 of a three week sprint and were discussing what's at risk of not making it this sprint... Can I do some work first???2
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Boss calls a team leads meeting which is just me and the other guy. Rest are product or project managers.
Turns out they concerns over how our last few sprints are always left unfinished as the work in it doesn't get passed QA.
Tried to tell him how can devs work on something that failed QA on the last day of the sprint.
We have one QA person who tests 20 something devs work. We are massively under resourced and yet they want us to do everything and always end up making promises to clients that we can't keep coz our sprint doesn't have capacity.
Yet they are hiring more product managers instead of getting some more QA help.
Sick & tired of this shit. -
Currently we have zero time for R&D at work, now I have convinced management to let me try and convince them to arrange some time per week/sprint(2 weeks) or month
How should I approache this? And how much time would be optional (enough time for prototyping but still leave more than enough time for the projects we have) ?
Any tips that you have for negotiation/convincing management would be greatly appreciated!! 😁😁3 -
!rant
When after one month of the event, a month n a half of the request, and a failed delivery attempt, the swag finally arrives!!
Stickers!! <3
Happy scenes!
Thank you Mozilla!!
5 -
Switching to a new server provider the day before a sprint and thinking that turning it on qualifies as the server being "set up".
-
When you have assigned stories that are blocked by other dependencies being developed in the same Sprint... Oh boy, someone is not going to finish on time u.u
-
'It's just...' is the biggest lie any co-dev can give you!
If it's just a small change why don't they do the god damn work and spend the next 2 days wading through an undocumented shit storm.
Next person to say 'It's just x, y & x', that ticket will be going up their tail pipe sideways! -
Feeling some Major imposter syndrome. Work is just so slow this time of year. Nothing in my sprint!2
-
Soooo lately my boss just introduced the AGILE methodology using Epics, UserStories, Tasks, etc. I enjoyed the approach so much. Scrums, Sprint meetings and the like. And also questioning him why ONLY NOW.
-
I'm at that point where I want to lash out at our team for not finishing a sprint. I've been doing the scrum master/dev role for months now and each sprint is incomplete since we have started the agile way.
Most of my team members are seasoned senior devs and my team's downfall are caused by not acting as a team. I'm the youngest in the team and have been acting as a babysitter for them.3 -
Every one of our sprint "planning" meetings.
We would sit and be told to estimate a bunch of defects we had never seen before. And then we wouldnt actually decide as a team what to commit to because it was assumed that we had to deliver everything in the backlog every sprint. This is what happens when you try to apply scrum to a maintenance team. -
I was put on some old forgotten project this sprint... looks like someone injected a shitload of heroin right into their frontal lobe and though it was a good idea to write a framework. Fuck.
-
That moment when you are 50% ahead in the sprint and then the designer comes and says:
"I updated the design a bit"..
boom! an entire new website...
Ok maybe not that bad, but .... sometimes..... *sight* .... web designers :/ ... -
Screw Scrum, screw it very much. Is it a task or a story? Oh let's make it a story to track points. What are points, really? *20 minute grilling always follows* Well they're kind of a roundabout way of talking about time without talking about time, mkay? But last time 2 points took you a day, what gives now? What do you mean points are for internal use, but how will management plan ahead for next quarter? Ok, let's mix in all those new people, and propotionately bump the expectation for the sprint, mkay? Yeah, they did 34 points per sprint over there, we'll just add those in. Oh, and by the way, after the 4-day estimation session we had where everyone was seizuring, I scheduled us at 645 points for the coming quarter, mkay? Don't worry, I added 15% for the "unexpected dtuff" so you're safe. Fuck you scrum, scrum-fall, whatever you are. Lost a dev lead role once for being honest about it after a year with a team that loved me, and projects completed more or less on time. Been reconsidered for a dev lead role for being honest about it in another place. Somebody else peddle this kool-aid, this one prefers a walk-on role in the wall to a lead role in the cage.5
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Dev: [does some weird code to make test pass]
Me: this won't work. Literally the documentation says what you did won't work once we move towards our end goal architecture.
Dev: [shows middle finger and requests merge and somehow managed to get code merged]
.... One Sprint later nothing works...
Dev: [does some weird code to make test pass]
Me: no. You need to solve underlying problem.
Dev: [shows middle finger and requests merge and somehow managed to get code merged]
.... One Sprint later nothing works...
Me: please stahp
Dev: [shows middle finger and requests merge and somehow managed to get code merged]
Me: WTF man do your fucking job
Scrum Master: stahp lowering our velocity
Me: wut? 😒2 -
My color combinations sprint be like:
23* - current best
36
81
111
170 ...
Either i am a typical programmer or way too choosy!!! -
We can do what your saying in a week and spend the following two months redoing it, or, we can help you get your shit straight for a week and do it right in a week. So, 9 weeks versus a two week sprint. Your call Batman. I really don’t care anymore. It’s the holidays, it’s cold, and money is a great fire starter.1
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Great my team just got dumped with all the other teams messes and incomplete work! Great sprint planning guys.
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We have three sprint refinement meetings per week without any work. We just spent today's 1 hour refinement meeting without uttering a single word. Dumb Management 🤦🏻♂️2
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We had our first "real" sprint planning yesterday. This was a very superficial planning session, as my manager is, by the looks of it, not to keen on the whole "new process thing". Probably because it's not his way of doing things... or simply more simply put - this way round means he'll need find some new ways to crawl up the CTOs ass!
So glad I'm leaving! -
Demo driven development.
Fucking nightmare.
Did a simple search for TODO Statements in the code and almost fucking spilt my coffee.
And the best part, they will demo most of this in Sprint review as done.. WTF.
Done means "Ready to Release" not "Ready to Demo".2 -
OK... so just spent 3 hours doing the Code Sprint.... 1.9/7 correctly answered... these were "Easy".
Well this is how I feel now....
btw any tips how to do these, seems like you have to be a real God to complete all of these? within just a few days. Do you really need to be able to do this at a tech company?
-
So today we had a pre-sprint-planning meeting where the POs told us about the stories currently in the backlog. They went ahead and "roughly prioritised" some of them. Their priorities were:
- normal (but asap please)
- has to be done this sprint, because the feature has to be in the next release (code freeze after this sprint)
- top priority, because this has to be in the previous release (which was released last friday)
The non-normal stories alone are about twice our normal velocity. Good job guys. Good job. -
Having a meeting to decide, when to have other meetings...
Scrum, scrum of scrums, workstream, planning, pm ,design review, architecture review, Sprint review on and on....on and on on...why can't i simply code:(4 -
At the Pycon Brasil in a sprint to help Russel Keith-Magee project, the PyBee and got the first accepted PR! The prize was this challenge coin! Everyone is welcome to join, check the project on https://github.com/pybee/
1 -
Dear Windows,
you done fucked it up!
I had a god damnit run, finishing the last mammoth task of our sprint.
Then, i decided to take a 3 minutes bio break.
Came back to my machine just to realise that this little OS bitch sneaked up on me, used the few seconds of my break to do a unholy, reboot of doom and damnation.
As a result, my virtual machine dropped it's php-storm settings...
I lost my precious focus on the task and my last nerves to figure out the correct settings again.
To cut a long story short.
We missed the aim of the Sprint.
The Sprint failed and i got a half-baked module.
At least, all the complicated businesslogic is proper covered by unittests.2 -
Our client supposedly managed our Jira board yesterday in preparation for the release to live.
It was a mess. We have two people on this project - so our effective maximum workload is 10 days worth of tickets.
The current sprint plus the next have over 60 tickets in them, with the other "light" sprints having about 15 days worth in them.
I know you shouldn't get caught up over estimates too much, but they're in place for a reason.
The client really needs a reality check, and to be reasonable. When looking from a macro perspective he loses sight of all reason and scope, trying to grossly overfill what the two of us can handle.
A junior and student placement dev can only do so much.
I guess time will tell how realistic 16th April is.. -
You might think that getting your work done super fast is a good idea but it's really not. It takes QA awhile to test your tickets and give feedback. If you clear your sprint board, PMs will add more assignments... Then on top of that extra work, QA will give you feedback from your previous work. You now will be super stressed to get all of this done by the end of the sprint.
It is best to take your time and get it right the first time... I've also learned to make a buffer... which is tickets in my queue I've already completed but did not say I've competed yet. This way I can take extra time on tickets that need TLC and the PM team won't surprise you with backlog tickets. -
Our team moved to scrum a while back. But everybody still does story point estimation by mentally assigning 1 story point for each day of work it would require. :/
On top of that, management compares the performance of two *different* scrum teams based on the story points they finish in a sprint. :// -
Tech lead: so for this sprint, please implement this HTML page in Angular
Me: do we know what kind of Angular table we are using yet?
Tech Lead: just use the Angular UI one
Me: do we know if that supports drag and drop and custom filters?
Tech Lead: that's not needed for this page
Me: yeah but like 5 other pages of this web app does
Tech Lead: so? We will find a different table then.
Me: but they will look and feel very different and it will be totally obvious that it's patchwork, and we will need to rewrite this page you want me to write now...
Tech Lead: so what if they look completely different. Stop thinking about future sprints. can you have it done next week?
Me: ummmm.....
... this is going to be a fun project. Oh, not to mention I'm only supposed to work on it for 20% of my time....1 -
Everytime I applied long leave, my client and PM will plan for important feature, but they say start the sprint and for other new people i have to give KT, and they will take care. I know how that will screw up the system. So at the time it's nightmare late night at office, in office time KT, no weekends, stand-up for 1hr(every time QA will ask, what we get after this sprint). Stupid clients changing the requirements after stand-up.
Everytime code base screwed and need to refactoring. So as much as possible core functionality I'll complete and only bug fixing for newbie. I hate those days. -
!rant got to give an end of sprint demo for the ui my team had been working on for three weeks today, bosses said they were impressed with how much we got accomplished (we're all new college hires and this is only out second sprint) and didn't care that out demo was ran from a local machine rather than a proper web server
-
How do you fit QA inside the weekly sprint?
At the end of a sprint, the team should be able to give something deliverable such as a new release.
How could the developers team integrate their work with the QA team along this week?
I mean, should we test individual features with QA as soon as they’re merged or make a pre-release test with all new features together before releasing? Develop 80% of the time and reserve last 20% for tests?
Could you share something or recommend any links?3 -
Our burndown chart went upwards this sprint. I'm sorry, I meant our burnup chart. It was an unforgettable sprint indeed.3
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Management suddenly decide to push for an early go-live for a product being worked on by another dev team in the company. As a result we are pulled in to help and get extra tasks loaded onto our sprint.
My co-worker pulled an all nighter to get the extra work done.
I emailed the project manager to remove items from my sprint to make space for the new work.
Am I lazy, or smart?6 -
I suppose to be on leave after few hours... The team leader added five task to my sprint tasks... No wonder...
-
Had someone mention adding tasks to stories in our sprint mid-sprint is messing up the sprint statistics... Can someone explain to me how one is supposed to know every task and approximately how long it will take to complete for a given story before even opening the code base up?
This is currently my major gripe with agile / scrum. How exactly you're supposed to instinctively know the solution to a complicated problem, as well as the steps to implement it, the approximate time it'll take, AND roadblocks you'll run into on DAY ONE? WHAT?
Too often does a 2 point story turn into a 5 point story because deep down it was a more complicated problem than originally thought, and a good scrum developer is supposed to... Either clairvoyantly known that or just allocate hours into unrelated tasks?
Someone help me out here1 -
High priority Bugs from the legacy system were pushing productive work out of the sprint enough that a 1 year project due in 2 months was sitting on 6 months of backlog of just my work. There are days where having 20+ years at the company is not a bonus. Fortunately I finally got through to the boss that he wouldn't make any ground on the project at this pace and he had the PM step in. Last sprint I worked on the project nearly full time.
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We’ve talked to the client a couple of weeks ago that they are totally screwing up the process with changing prio’s and wanting a deploy every other day.
We are in a new sprint and it just happens again. We have this presentation and blabla it needs to go live NOW!
I’m so tired of this project...1 -
I hate so much all those sprint related meetings. They literally take one day totalled (every 2 weeks).
Review, dry run demo, actual demo, planning, daily hourly meetings.... so much talking.8 -
Finished Sprint-Task "Update WordPress-Core + Language >> 4.7" on wednesday evening.
Have to take it back into "doing" next morning, because 4.7.1 was released... -_-1 -
The scrum master cries out for the team’s burndown chart as he move more unplanned work into the current Sprint.1
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So I was reading Scrum for my exam all I can see was Meeting.
Product backlog meeting for 15 mins;
Enters to the office 5 mins meeting;
Sprint review meeting for 10mins;
Daily scrum 2 times meetings;
Sprint planning 3 hours of meeting;
Starting the next Sprint 30mins meetings;
Managing releases 45 min meeting;
Sprint Retrospective 45 mins of meeting;
Wtf? Do they do any work there?4 -
What is wrong with these people!!!
Last minute changes are pain in the ass... the design team review gives a go ahead but then pm team doesnt agree and and you have to get the changes suggested done in a day??!!!
In half a day you have to get ux review, peer review, module owner review, architect review, pm review and then merge publish bump and test in ci?!!end of sprint is today...
Ugh!!!every sprint!!every fuckin sprint!!! -
When your SCRUM Master cancels the sprint retro because he knows all hell is about to break loose.2
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do you know the feeling, when it is friday and it is like nice hot weather 26°c. you kinda wished you could just zit outside and enjoy the view days of the summer that are not to hot or to cold (location: the netherlands).
this made me slack off today. only did my sprint planning for next monday and wrote some unit test and some software modification documents.4 -
There are those few days in a sprint that could be extremely busy like these days.
Few days ago someone grabbed a chair, sat next to me asking questions and the chair is still there.
This week i have learnt that the chair is so dangerous, looking very inviting. -
Is having breaking changes in an API at a very early stage normal? We have like every sprint at least 3 endpoints who have breaking changes 🤔 I mean, is having refactored code better then stability?1
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I thought I posted about this awhile back but I didn't. I'm glad since the story is so much better now.
6 weeks ago: Told I'm going to be on a super fun JAMStack build with lots of sexy animations. Sweet, this will be a fun build!
5 weeks ago: Find out what the timeline on this incredibly ambitious project is. I start raising flags cause everything needs to go PERFECT for this to not blow up and/or turn in to a dumpster fire.
4 weeks ago: Project "kicks off" with a meeting with the client. We find out that they've decided to do another round of revisions on their design comps, but we have what we need for sprint 1. We provide a list of all the assets/information we still need for sprint 1 success.
3 weeks ago: Still waiting on some assets for sprint one, but we're fumbling our way through. Still waiting on the PM to get around to doing their PM job and building out our backlog / gathering requirements for us.
2 weeks ago: Sprint 1's end date comes and goes. Still need assets from the client, I've personally asked them for the same asset 3 different times. Sprint 1 gets extended 1 week.
1 week ago: We deliver sprint 1 page templates, minus the resources we're still waiting for. Get chewed out by the client regarding the pages not looking like their comps (Yeah, no shit sherlock, you never sent us the assets)
This week: Working on Sprint 2 commitments. We have 2x as many page templates to deliver, per developer, as we had the first sprint. Still waiting on Sprint 1 assets. Don't have Sprint 2 assets. Wait, what about the global styles? They still haven't sent those to us yet either.
Requirements? Guess I'll spend valuable dev time tracking those down for myself.
Client? Well, they're pissed off we haven't hit our commitments yet.
Oh well, at least we have a pimple faced, fresh out of college, CS major, with no real development experience rolling on to this cesspool of a project.
Other devs? Well, we're out of fucks to give. Lets just watch this thing burn.
Oh, I forgot to add, we have 17 page templates to deliever between today (2/27) and 3/18. #NoFuckingWay -
Our project using Agile methodology, we have every day stand-up meeting(scrum meeting) that normally end around 10 to 15 minutes with 7 ppl.
One day The Project Owner came and join our stand-up meeting that cost us like sprint planning
And The Project Owner did not stop there, he come again next day for the 1 week.
Because of that our product backlogs and Sprint Planning goes haywire.
We failed to delivery what we planned for that project. -
When you boss makes a product decision in a meeting and never tells the team or me the lead dev. Then when it comes to an overview day he gets angry that I didn't know about these changes cause he never told us or put it in the sprint. So I have to spend my weekend refactoring the whole website so make it work the way he wants.....5
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If you host a contest, for fuck's sake, DO IT RIGHT. A 4 hour sprint coding contest? Oh boy, finally something I can find the time for! WOULD BE A SHAME IF THE SERVERS INSTANTLY STARTED CRASHING DUE TO OVERLOAD... 😤😤😤
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One time a pm told me to shut up during a sprint demo. I don't work there anymore. Forced me to find a place where I was a better fit.4
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Yes I know that's too many points this sprint.
I understand you have to have all the things.
No I can't move the stories out bc you gave us a hard deadline for the release. -
The one single time i succesfully remember my dream from the previous night it just had to be being in chased through a spooky building by this weeks sprint.2
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Being greedy is good at some point, but when you're so greedy that you take up a project without any tickets (JIRA Sprint) and requirements over Skype.
That being said, managers should not get greedy all the time.
I mean when the previous developer left he made is so difficult(I am assuming) to run that hourly job, that it took me around
> 4 hours to fix spaghetti code still job not running,
> Fix missing parameters still not working
Finally said to the manager that the configurations are not on the server which are being used in the code. -
We need x amount of features, feature requests changing all week long and then we will demo.
3 days later, all work the for demo can be thrown away because it isn't in the sprint planning and probably the features aren't needed any more in the future. FML _-_ -
Not really a Rant but:
My Productivity Method:
1. Nootropics (Nootrobox Daily, Sprint for 6+ hour work/focus periods)
2. Ketogenic Diet (Ridiculous Energy, Amazing Food Choices, No Crashing, No Cheating!)
3. Moderate Exercise
4. Get Lit (Partying) once a month at least, hard liquors.
5. Nicotine (Vaping 6mg) while coding.
6. Caffeine (Bulletproof Coffee)
7. League of Legends breaks.
8. Weekly Cigar Social with other professionals.
Balance Vice with Virtue is a great combination for getting stuff done.
What keeps you going?2 -
Every day, the SM likes to come by the dev table and ask what our updates are (stalking jira + dev slack channel is apparently too boring).
He comes by every 2 hours.
Each time asking about how close I am to finishing not only the current feature but the other stories I have to work on too.
The other stores are not in progress, what makes you think I was working on them in the background of what I'm currently working on?
Doesn't help that we somehow keep adding stories mid sprint, -
Is there anyone from India (Specifically Kerala) here who's going to the mozilla regional sprint today?6
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So at the end of our sprint retrospective we (me and one other dev) apologize to the project owner for the fact that QA had to happen on dev for a few days because the database changes were not properly applied by the DBA. It was a one time thing, a little weird but not a big deal.
A few hours later we get a call from a new DBA saying that the project owner said that we wanted the old DBA off our project. So now we sound like assholes ruining a guy's self confidence and made working with him awkward as hell.
Thanks, project owner. -
If you have not achieved the sprint and a meeting is scheduled why you have not achieved the sprint ... in the next sprint ...
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Recently we've checked /sprint in HipChat to test batching of sprint status messages. For testing we wrote what first poped into our minds.
One Dev wrote /sprint We're on schedule
Another wrote /sprint Everything is broken, help
How different tests and first thoughts about progress sometimes can be?1 -
When devs have to test tickets end to end in stabilisation week that have passed in previous sprints because the company doesn't want to cough up more than 2 QAs...
I am not a tester. This is bullshit.
(Obviously I e2e test my tickets during the sprint before deploying and passing them on to QA to test and hopefully move on to 'Done') -
Today I'll be part of a sprint on which only me and my coworker will work.
Usually its 4-5 people. And ive only worked 2.5 weeks now.
Im a bit nervous3 -
Worked super hard the whole sprint on a module to get it perfect, only to find out today that 90% of it was just changed and will need to be redone next sprint.
1 -
When you've been handling multiple production defects and software PMR tickets for the last couple of months and the morning of a new sprint your JIRA/SCRUM/Kanban/task/whatever board is empty under your name. Feels good man.
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When you spend 3 or 4 hours working on a large PBI on Friday and you go into work early AF (6:30am) on Monday so you can finish before the end of the sprint on Tuesday, but they tell you in the morning stand up that the PBI will be abandoned.
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So, towards the end of a particularly disruptive Sprint, the Product Owner Manager, who asked for A3 pictures explaining the flow to him and had multiple meetings with us and business and rewrote a spec of something already in development and changed priority of stories, wants to know... what is taking so long and business wants all these changes next week.
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In my previous agile sprint I somehow completed my task before the halfway, that's why I got less buffer time and point in this sprint.
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Sprint planning meeting going nuts with 8 people shouting over each other and people standing up out of chairs to be heard.... Craziness.... Went in with expectation of just making skeleton of the user stories and discussed nitty gritty implementation details
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Four major network disruptions on east coast the past week. Today fiber cut in Florida effecting central Florida. Verizon, AT&T and Sprint have each had disruptions impacting many businesses and customers. Coincidence?
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At the end of the sprint half of the stories didn't get done due to lack of coordination to put 4 people in the same room and get them to agree on the solution.
During Retro my Scrum Master says: Are these stories not done because we haven't estimated them during sprint planning? 😂 -
I just hate how all the the internet providers (Sprint and Verizon mainly) just attack each other. It is all about combating, attacking and 1upping to them.2
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Vague requirement for feature A received from client
Business consultant refines
Example mapping done
Acceptance criteria defined
Scheduled in sprint
Development done
Unit tests passed
Pull request reviewed
Code merged and deployed to system test
Functional testing successful
Deployed to UAT
Client asked to sign off
Client: "Actually I don't want that feature." -
- the 2 hr meeting called for every day of a week, to prepare for a PPT which is to be presented to a higher up exec within 5 mins.
- the sprint planning meeting, where all the stories of that sprint are already weighted and assigned to the devs, but it still goes for 2 hrs
- the backlog grooming meeting, where instead of looking at the sprint backlog, the current sprint is looked at and discussed. -
whats your code sprint soundtrack? -- for me its alot of propeller heads, Crystal METHod, & Dual Core1
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'we don't develop with quality just for the sake of it, just push it to finish the sprint'
Another gem from my scrum master -
Don't you love the neverending sprint?
You know the one that just inherits all the tickets from the last one? Each sprint packs on new cool features but along the way bug tickets come in for code you haven't even touched or wrote and you deal with them because they are blockers.
before you know it, sprint is over and ok to the next one. I'm pretty sure that is how this is supposed to work right?1 -
When my client asks my team for a simple script and my coworker spends an entire sprint writing a C++ application and complaining about how difficult it is.1
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Noticing that we have several stories in sprint that are scattered across the backlog, some are at the top, some at the bottom...
Me: I think we should prioritize the backlog.
PO: I agree; When do you think you'll be done?2 -
{
-i won't follow logging practices
-i won't follow secure coding
-i won't leverage profiling n monitoring tools
-i won't reuse best practices
-i won't listen to thought leaders
-i will outsource writing UT
-i will outsource code quality checks
-i will outsource all testing
-i will ignore n overide CTO team
But I still want high stability, security n 4 9s availability. Just want it done. My team is best. Am a fast-track leadership program leader who never has or ever needs to cod. I just know ...
}
People I have to deal with every sprint. Site reliability is not easy ...
Teaching good code makes great products to morons, toughest ...
"Beginners mind needed"2 -
Any of you guys that also faces existential crisis every sprint deadline? Not being able to fullfill PM's expectations is horrible.1
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Last week, last sprint. Decided to migrate to latest trunk (it was svn back in the days) of the CMS we used just to get the new great feature. Customer really liked it, but didn’t like the bugs we found in the following weeks.
If you ask me, it worth and will do it again. -
Definitely my current manager. He is very supportive of our career goals and has us choose both goals related to team performance and personal progression. He supports us having time at the end of the sprint to innovate and research things to bring back into the product. He gives constructive feedback and doesnt breathe down peoples necks.
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!rant
There's a workshop here in Philippines about Sprint Design & it is based from this book.
Any of you guys read this book?
Does the concepts/ideas in the book helped you in your work/personal projects?
2 -
1) Guess how many beans (hours) are in the jar (sprint).
2) Pad my estimate with 12 beans.
3) Be high and have to have meetings in which I explain bean counting is not an exact science and insist that meetings about how we count beans will only put us behind further and will never ever make us better bean counters.
or
3b) Be under, have extra time in the sprint, only to have product management fill the jar with more beans until I'm wrong again. -
Developers wanted! No I'm not a recruitment agency
I'm relatively new to the field. Been working 2 years as a Web developer at the same company. So I want to ask, is it normal to be made to sprint plan live issues for any websites you maintain?5 -
Submenu Boards doesn't show in Firefox 45.5.0 when viewing a single issue. This is really frustrating as I can't move quickly between the sprint board and a specific issue. What also sucks about jira is that there is no way to report bugs like this (perhaps Atlassian sincerely believe that they never have any bugs in their products), leaving devrant as the only resort to let out steam ;)
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Should you get tasks from the backlog when everything is done in actual Sprint? Or it is a good time to keep learning while waiting for next Sprint?3
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Today before leaving, the QA said she found problems in 3 issues I've been working on, until now everything was ok. Tomorrow is the closing of the Sprint but I can't present this progress because it's not completed...
I know the QA is doing her job but why now?
Hopefully I'll fix it tomorrow before the meeting1 -
!rant
Quite an insight
"Is npm worth $2.6M?"
http://words.steveklabnik.com/is-np...
On a read sprint and I am sharing whatever I find interesting. -
The Sprint started and this Stupid Lady did not finish her work yet and I am stuck till that. Funniest part is figuring out what to tell in the Daily Stand Up. ' Going through the Code and getting Familiar' :P
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Why do they demand 12-month goals when we use Agile Methodologies?
If we do it right, we don't know what we are working on next sprint, let alone 12 months.
Our goals are to work on the highest priority stories. We are not to work on stuff "in the background", so how can we have any long-term goals?
The only things we can plan are outside of our actual jobs (like conferences, training, pilot programs/hackathon projects, etc.) So the only things we can review at the end of the year are not the most important things we do.
Poor managers love numbers and checklists to hide behind.2 -
!rant
Agile devs— do you attend sprint planning?
I want to, but my boss told me not to go (waste of my time, he says). Only leads attend them, then they come back with tickets for the rest of the team. But a few other devs I’ve spoken to found that absurd, since attending lets you choose your tickets to a certain extent.
Do you attend yours? Is it crazy not to? Am I missing out? (I ask bc ours is happening right now— and it’s so empty in here!)5 -
Ok the sprint review is tomorrow, there are lots of work to do and qe are half slept, this gonna end well :)
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Task: Research how to refector our grid component to be usable with Redux
Result: The next sprint will be used to replace Angular 5 by React
what happend? Not that I am not happy with the decision but this was a quite unexpected result.3 -
- we need to show progress to the business
- but rewriting this component to be generic AND implementing it on the whole website can't be completed in one sprint. This will require a lot of regression testing, modifications to existing functionality, etc. we need to split it in two
- that's disappointing
we were forced to write shitty patchworks for over 2 years and now everyone's surprised it takes time to replace with proper code -.- -
When we take user stories in sprints but dependencies are not resolved. I have to wait till n-1 the day for the upstream team to go to UAT and then push half my tasks to next sprint for testing \ prod . Fuck the planners - _-|-_-¦
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When they had three weeks to get through their sprint and they still arnt done but yet you get done your 2 week sprint in 4 days. So much for deadlines and commitment to meet them...
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I wonder if we will have a sprint review meeting for 2016. You know to prevent the shit storm that happened to continue ...
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AI iis not easy. Its very difficult. Its not a hobby. Its a life long sprint. And you may never get the hang of it.
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Same lol