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Me : So how's the deadlines here?
Coworker : There are none.
Me : ?
Coworker : if they are unrealistic, we push non-working code. Prod comes up with bugs, and we get a new sprint to resolve those bugs.
Me: ╰[ ⁰﹏⁰ ]╯10 -
Manager: I need estimates for your sprint tasks
Me: I've never done any of this before, my estimates have no context and are effectively worthless
Manager: don't worry it's just for the Jira board.
Me: OK *gives estimates*
End of sprint comes...
Manager: Why isn't task X done?
Me: *sigh*
I don't miss my old job :)
3 -
Infinite loop...
Got a story assigned with no requirements listed this sprint. Since I finished the rest already I was like, lets be pro-active and see what it's about during the stand-up.
Me: Hi, I only have story X remaining, what's it about, there are no requirements listed in Jira?
SM: Yeah person Y is going to reach out to you with the reqs.
Me: Ok, when is Y going to reach out?
SM: Y doesn't have time now, will probably be in 2 weeks.
Me: Ok, so why is the story included in this sprint then?
SM: Because they want X implemented this sprint.
(Me wondering if the Scrum Master is familiar with infinite loops, thinking let's try this out)
Me: Ok, if X should be completed, can Y reach out to me with the requirements?
SM: Y doesn't have time now, will probably be in 2 weeks.
Me: Ok, why is the story included in this sprint then?
Stand-up lasted a lil' longer today... Hope the SM got the message not to assign stories without reqs or clear communication anymore.5 -
A week in code:
Mon: Write all the code💻
Tue: Review all the code🔍
Wen: Fix all the broken code🔴
Thurs: Deploy🚢
Fri: Review all the code🔬4 -
Recipe: "baked developer"
you will need:
- 1 day = 1 story point
- 10SP per sprint
- every team member must deliver all the SPs.
Now for every sprint slap on 20+ hours of mandatory meetings, mix with 2-5 days of ad-hoc tasks, which must be addressed, because they are blocking the release/other teams/prod, and make sure all the devs try not to spill no matter what, and you get a perfectly burned out team.
Brittle/crispy on the outside, mashed/soft on the inside
enjoy!26 -
Hey, remember that one feature that really needed to be in the release and you spend almost a week non stop at the office? Nobody is using it, we're gonna remove it this sprint.1
-
Today:
9 am - 2:30 pm - customer mtng
2:45 pm - 3:25 pm - team mtng
3:30 pm - 5 pm - sprint planning mtng
Anyone ever literally be in a meeting the WHOLE day? ... 😢 🔫11 -
#workingfromhomeissues
Tomorrow is our half day long sprint planning meeting. I'm excited to be on mute and play with my new puppy all day.
1 -
PM was on vacation the whole sprint.
this sprint was so much more... convenient. i really liked what i was working on.
Also, team lost some of its bureaucratic discipline along the way.
colleague replacing him, in today's daily: since the sprint is basically almost over, i can really recommend to the whole team to wrap up your work of this sprint, so you have something *done* that you can deliver or show in next week's sprint review.
team: ...
oooohhh boy, let me get a shitload of popcorn for the sprint review when PM is back 🍿🍿🍿🍿🍿🍿🍿🍿2 -
Alright I get the importance of project planning but having a Sprint meeting at 7am is just insane.1
-
sprint retros with PM are a fucking farce, it cannot possibly get any more grotesque.
they are held like this:
- in the meeting, PM asks each team member directly what they found good and bad
- only half of the team gives real negative feedback directed towards the PM or the process, because they are intimidated or just not that confrontative
- when they state a bad point, he explains them that their opinion is just wrong or they just need to learn more about the scrum process, in any case he didn't do anything wrong and he is always right
- when people stand up against this behavior, he bullshits his way out, e.g. using platitudes like "it's a learning process for the whole team", switching the topic, or solely repeating what he had just said, acting like everybody agreed on this topic, and then continue talking
- he writes down everything invisible for the team
- after the meeting he mostly remembers sending a mail to the team which "summarizes" the retro. it contains funny points like "good: living the agile approach" (something he must have obviously hallucinated during the meeting)
- for each bad point from team members, he adds a long explanation why this is wrong and he is doing everything right and it's the team's fault
- after that happens the second part of the retro, where colleagues from the team start arguing with him via mail that they don't feel understood or strongly disagree with his summary. of course he can parry all their criticism again, with his perfectly valid arguments, causing even longer debates
- repeated criticism of colleagues about poor retro quality and that we might want to use a retro tool, are also parried by him using arguments such as "obviously you still have to learn a lot about the scrum process, the agile manifesto states 'individuals and interactions over processes and tools', so using a tool won't improve our sprint retros" and "having anonymous feedback violates the principles of scrum"
- when people continue arguing with him, he writes them privately that they are not allowed to criticize or confront him.
i must say, there is one thing that i really like about PM's retro approach:
you get an excellent papertrail about our poor retro quality and how PM tries to enforce his idiocratic PM dictatorship on the team with his manipulative bullshit.
independently from each other, me and my colleague decided to send this papertrail to our boss, and he is veeeery interested.
so shit is hitting the fan, and the fan accelerates. stay tuned シ16 -
Boss: we follow scrum here
Me: yeah, tell that to those shitheads who call themselves "product managers" and throw whatever features they want at us at the middle of the sprint with a fixed deadline, not regarding the team capacity.2 -
Pro tip to scrum masters: bringing a scrum suitcase to your sprint meetings is more useful than bringing scrumbags.
1 -
When your co-worker of 2 years forgets to sweeten your tea.. (on the last day of a sprint no less)
where my fellow while(tea > 0){write(code)} peeps at
20 -
Pet peeve: When people use "Jira" to mean story / task / sprint / epic.
*Real* pet peeve: When people use it with more than one of the above meanings in the same sentence.
"Will we finish this Jira (story) by the time we close the Jira (sprint) on Monday?"
Dude, wtf. I actually have to decode your sentences to figure out what you're on about. Just learn the right terminology. It's not hard.10 -
STOP. LOOKING. AT. HALF. FINISHED. SPRINTS. FOR. STYLING. ERRORS.
For the love of god I know it's not right yet leave me aloooooone7 -
Project manager sends mass email out for the 5th time about how things are needed ASAP. We're already overloaded. Sprint planning was thrown out the window a month ago. But the email is in comic sans.3
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We had a sprint where we removed some fields from the signup page, in order not to "scare users off" with the amount of information requested. Quite a few changes in frontend and backend alike.
Only now in the final day of the sprint (where we're supposed to deploy the changes) do we realize some of that information is actually required by the payment processor, and likely for very predictable *legal* reasons which I even questioned during planning.15 -
1. Pre-sales to Client: We can develop 200 APIs with 10 developers in 9 months.
2. Client: Ok! Cool, its a deal.
-- Sprint starts --
3. Actual: We are 6 developers, commited (or sold out) to make 200 APIs in 9 months.
Fucking pre-sales.3 -
Soooo it's the first day of sprint. I have tasks A, B and C.
Here's my manager again telling me:
"It's just A ,why are you taking time."
"It's just B ,why are you taking time."
"It's just C ,why are you taking time."2 -
Sprint planning meeting, two hours trying to plan what to do with a new feature we wanted to add to one of our systems.
The boss gets out of the meeting room to get a phone number to make a call (we needed to ask something to one of our clients).
5 minutes later, the boss comes back and saw that the lead dev was going to his own desk.
Boss: Where do you think you’re going?
Lead dev: I’m bored :v
😂😂😂😂😂7 -
Desktop SSD just failed. All VMs lost. Domain admins too drunk to fix. No timesheets no sprint diary no mail no IM.6
-
This month is going pretty well so far..
New job: ☑️
Get out of FinTech: ☑️
New place: ☑️
Get rid of car #1: ☑️
Get rid of car #2: ☑️
Pay a shit lot of taxes: ☑️
Still have some money to on the side: ☑️
Book flight&car: ⬜️
Register in new country: ⬜️
And still 2 weeks to go.
Holidays are coming though..
I actually did a sticky label agile board for this 😄9 -
"Take an extra paid day off"
"You are right. This will automate that boring task."
"You did everything that was tasked to you in this sprint? You can rest or help in testing something. "2 -
When you’re way more experienced and new to a team and are met with “but this is how we’ve done it for ages, and it’s done fine for us” but the sprint performance shows they’ve not completed one in 2 years.
5 -
my boss asked me to join a xamarin project, there are 45 bugs on current sprint. the first thing i saw is this code, no wonder there are so many bugs 😭
5 -
Me when I fuck up my sleep schedule badly by turning my life into a coding sprint and then trying to go normal
-
So many meetings that we have pre-meeting meetings.
Tomorrow is the best meeting of all - the show and tell, where we can say we spent all sprint in meetings and did no actual work.1 -
Client: we are using Scrum. Next week we have sprint review organized by the project manager.
Me: it’s not Scrum.
Client: in the next sprint we work on a mockup not releasable in production.
Me: it’s not Scrum.
Client: sprint backlog is changed again, at the end we must do everything that is written in the contract with that fixed amount of money.
Me: definitely not Scrum.
Client: we are using Scrum.
Me: Ok.1 -
Hey remember that edge case we told you about months ago and you said ya "don't worry, it's an edge case" ya, we just found the edge and sailed right off it
-
RETARD MASTER: So how did you feel about this sprint DEV?
*nothing is planned, new tickets added each day and old ones removed - inconsistent sprint*
DEV: Well, it’s a bit chaotic, but it’s understandable. I’m used to it. Nothing’s to blame here. Client can’t produce their end of the bargain on time.
*3 week later*
DEV MANAGER: So RETARD MASTER gave a feedback. He told me you insulted him.
DEV: Can I please die now? Not funny.12 -
Every sprint, the beast grows.
Every sprint, we'll sort it "later".
Every sprint, we suffer more.
We warned them, but they did not listen. The technical debt rapture has begun.
-
Company: Okay lets do Agile on this project! And every sprint is equivalent to 3 weeks!
Us: Wow! That's nice!
Company: We need to finish the project with in one month.
Us: Wait. What??!!!!3 -
Preparing to debug racing condition between 20 different threads.
Not looking forward to this sprint :(5 -
So there's a new team member in the project (me & him), he's assigned to make the frontend, which is great since I'm so proficient doing back. But he starts by doing backend tasks and the fucking frontend which is the most delayed part of the project is still untouched.2
-
Worked on a team where every single sprint planning was a useless meeting because we were expected to deliver everything in the backlog every sprint. So what are we really planning?5
-
I need to stop finishing my sprints work within the first 3-4 days of the sprint.
I get so excited to get work that I loose my sense of time and space so I finish it all in one go...
Now I’m gonna be bored again for 2-3 weeks 😫8 -
A delicious Sprint Planning 😋
It was a hard sprint (SCRUM methodology), but finally we were on our next’s sprint planning meeting. We had a lot of tasks to define and estimate. For the first one, we all estimated the task with 5 points, and for the second one we voted for 3 points. We were coordinated XD so, our boss said “let’s do something, if all of you vote, let’s say, 5, and another votes for a different number, he or she’s gonna buy us a six pack of beer”. Challenge accepted.
Two partners and I have to buy beers for this friday after work 😂 I don’t even mad 😋🍻
3 -
This week's sprint:
Bugs that cannot be reproduced
Features that are vague as shit
Man fuck this week...1 -
Sprint planning:
PO: I have a great idea for a new game changing feature
Team: cool, let’s talk requirements, etc
PO: nah, I trust you can come up with the best implementation possible
Sprint demo:
Team: presents the feature
PO: Why are you guys always doing it your way, instead of following my vision?!
Every single sprint...3 -
I reported a bug and the PM replied "It's not a bug, it's just an outcome of how the button was coded. Although that's not how we want the button to behave so we'll prioritise this next sprint planning."4
-
Before starting sprint we gave estimations, while discuss with my team, my project manager also part of the meeting. After three weeks my project manager start give list of tasks like this is API and this is front end and also estimations based on our previous sprint plan.
We pissed off. After that we never include our manager in technical meeting.
FYI - If you're using Google sheets for ball park estimations never give permission to your project manager to edit sheet.2 -
It's sprint meeting day! Time to grab some coffee because it's going to be 5 hours of PMs ranting about tickets and progress. Yay!
-
*in Sprint planning listening to my PM creating tasks*
PM (to Team): So this will be an MVP we can expand on in the future. Do let me know upfront if any tasks should not be in the Sprint.
Team Manager (to PM): Let's see... Yeah I think you've nailed it... Good.
Developer (to Team): Guys, I see the task for the frontend team to integrate machine learning doesn't have any details.
PM (to Developer): Ooh machine learning! Good catch!
PM (to Team Manager): This was one of the tasks we really needed this quarter, will we still be on track?
Team Manager (to PM): Yeah no worries we'll add it as part of the MVP design in Confluence.
PM: Okay assigning the task now. *Assigns to Developer*
*Team Manager goes on 1 month vacation*
Me (thinking to myself): Wtf3 -
The whole point of having a daily scrum is to let your team know about the progress you've made from last day and what you'd be needing to stick to the sprint plan.
So ideally everyone has 30-60 seconds to give a gist of their activities. And a small scrum team would be productive because everybody is on the same page.
Our scrum meetings usually wait for all of us to assemble with our coffees and donuts, sit down, joke, and then agonizingly go over everybody's existential crisis as a developer because of the task they've been assigned to has too many dependencies. And this happens every single fucking day! These "scrum" meetings tend to go for 1 hour. FML!5 -
When your sprint review is turned into a 5 hour argument about how to effectively do scrum and all you want to do is code.1
-
The sprint tasks are finished a week early. Spent half day sitting in my office and squeezing the stress ball.
Looking forward to get some more task tomorrow1 -
I really start to lose motivation to work when working from home..
I find myself watching YouTube videos for 4-5h a day instead of working..
Still get my sprint work done but man, it’s so boring after a year at home..8 -
I’ll quit swearing when you stop moving user-stories in and out of the sprint DURING THE FUCKING SPRINT.6
-
So I finished all my tasks for the sprint (3-weeks long) in the first 2 days.
Shit that happens when senior team members underestimate your abilities...4 -
Each sprint lasts for 2 weeks. But I get the basic info to start working on my stories only when 3/4th of the sprint is completed....
So yeah....no one gives shit about estimation at least in my case.6 -
"If we need to deprioritize something that's fine, as long as it all still gets done by the time we agreed on."
Gotta love product management types.4 -
Gotta love product owners that don't seem to understand agile.
We delivered the set number of items in the sprint we committed to plus a little extra polish. During the last day of the sprint we're spending the time to push all our work to UAT do he can actually perform acceptance testing...
He decides he should chase all of us up on stuff that we never commited to or even mentioned we'd touch.
Had to explain it to him at least 5 times during the day.3 -
My internship's sprint evaluation is in 2 hours, project is fucked and team is a band of baboons also i am the presenter and lead dev of the project.
Hows your tuesday going?2 -
Twitter app update: Home/Search/Notifications/Messages buttons jump from the top of the screen to the bottom. What a productive sprint this must have been at Twitter.6
-
Sprint planning meeting discussing UI:
Customer: - Wouldn't that confuse the user?
Senior Dev: - Yes but it will take less development time.
Me (junior): ...
1 -
When an application has tons of security holes and fixes never make it into sprint prioritization because "they're not new features"4
-
When the PO asks for a last second code change right before the sprint review, and now it's your turn to demo
1 -
After the end of Sprint, well, the QA people came up with this defect ( mind it 'defect' ) : "The exclamation mark is not very red" [ sic ]
Cancer died a death that moment. -
sprint started two weeks ago, it's due today.
yesterday, most tasks for the sprint were done, but was still waiting that whole two weeks for updates on two new tickets, guess they'll be in the next sprint...
project leaders yesterday: oh here are those updates for the sprint! (not to mention the meeting was at 5 PM yesterday, not even the BEGINNING of the work day)
project leaders today: what's the status of the sprint?!
...it's a joke, right? do you think I'm a fucking magician?
its always the same no matter where you go, slowly starting to realize...
tl;dr; adding new feature requests the day before a sprint ends and then having the nerve of asking the "status" of the sprint the following day.2 -
Funny story:
We were going through Sprint Planning on Monday. We got through all of the tasks that we knew we had to get done, then we started going through the backlog to see what we could pull forward.
The guy running the meeting (who's not actually a Scrum master, but whatever) get's to a task, reads it aloud, and goes, "That doesn't ring any bells. Brian, it's in your name, it says it's from May, do you know what the status of this is?
Brian reads through it for about 20 seconds before saying, "That date says it's from 2017. I don't think we need it anymore."2 -
I really want to stress that we should add the ticket for adding the missing test cases in *this* sprint and not postpone it any further.
-- "Isn't there something more important to be added instead?"
There. ALWAYS. Is. Something. MORE. Important. The real problem was that we implement the test cases in the past to begin violating our definition of done. We have to fix and one point and we have to own that decision as nobody else will care about passing tests and test coverage. It's our job to care for that.
Yes, we can instead focus on all the other high-priorities task that should have been done yesterday, yet that won't change the fact that large part our codebase will remain an untested messy blackbox just asking for weird bugs and wild goosechases in the future.
Don't hide behind "high priority tasks". A job is done when it is fucking done and tests are part of that. Hurrying from one important task to the next will just mean we'll never do it. There is no better time than right now.
If code coverage got left behind in the past, then we'll have to suck it up in order to fix it as soon as possible, otherwise we'll just suck forever.1 -
Whichever learning path you choose, its gotta be a marathon not a sprint. Start off with 30 minutes or an hour every few days. Make it as fun as possible
-
Things story points are great for:
- Helping the team estimate their workload for a sprint
- Discussing the relative complexity of a task / story
Things I will slap you for, hard:
- Arguing that all the easy stories you plan to pick are actually infinite story points to make you look better
- Going "yeahhhh look at me I did 5 more story points this sprint than Bob, I'm amazinggggg"
- Trying to subtly change the story point assignment after you pick a task so you can do the above while doing sod all work
- "Hmm your team only did x story points this sprint, but team poopoo over there did x+10, what's going on?!"4 -
Today is release day...big sprint (complete UI redesign) ... Already 1 and half month late ... fingers crossed (specially for in house clients)3
-
First month of project we suggest that we test that Entity Framework has made reasonable DB queries because the system will need to handle a lot of records. “Not a priority in this sprint because we need features.” Devs try to get it into every sprint. The last week of the project they want us to dump in a ton of records so they can test it. The N+1 SELECT query issue is on main queries. It is so bad and slow with more records that a simple query causes the container management to auto scale the application on a single query. They can have max 8 users in the system at a time and it will take 10 seconds to do a simple page refresh.
They get on our case and we dredge up all of the correspondence where they completely ignored our advice. Fix it now! We need another sprint. Fix it free! No.11 -
During our last Sprint Planning we have chosen to use internal codename Solid Snake for this period (yes, we change it every sprint).
Our Tech Lead likes to draw current name (adjective and animal name) on a whiteboard. As soon as new name has been voted down he refused to draw a new one because
Drum rolls
He doesn't like Metal Gear series.
I'm not sure I want to work in this company anymore...5 -
When the PM schedules you for 160 hours in an 80 hour sprint... I didn't enjoy living my life anyways, apparently. FMDL.3
-
Sprint 0: This design is the appropriate amount of engineering abstraction.
Sprint 2: This is over-engineered, too much work
Sprint 5: This is under-engineered, too many edge cases
Sprint 10: This is over-engineered, component Foo could be replaced by a bash script
Sprint 42: Foo is now the cornerstone of half our business logic2 -
*during sprint planning*
Me: so here are the tickets I'm taking in this sprint. I'll do this first and that second. I'm also keeping some buffer for emergency stuff
Manager: ok, this looks good. I trust you and will let you work in peace unless something important comes up. I won't micro manage you
Also my manager for every fucking day of the sprint: hey man what's up? Ready for sync up call?
THAT'S MICRO MANAGING RIGHT THERE YOU PIECE OF SHIT. YOU COULD CHECK JIRA OR GITHUB OR ASK ME IN STANDUP BUT YOU INSIST ON CALLING AND ASK ABOUT THE TINIEST DETAILS. GO FUCK YOURSELF SERIOUSLY9 -
Happened in December, had devs from "big" companies coming over to our start up and doing a sprint with us. Very humbling 🙂2
-
people with 8+ years of work from office experience, is 9-6 the only truth of work life? today in sprint planning, our manager suggested assigning 81 hours of tickets in a 2 week sprint and when a lot of us had 60-65 hours of work he was like "ehh it seems less . junior mgr , look into the softwares and create more tickets"
2 week sprint is 9 days +1 day for sprint planning + 2 sat Sunday 🥲 . additionally it takes me arohnd 2 hours to reach home so i try to get out by 5 pm and everyone starts staring at me. as am a bad example, i will probably be hearing from my manager in future about this.
need some tips on handling a stable work-office life. i am a covid graduate so i have seen a great wlb in work from home but its a true reality that for mext 30 years , the chances to work from home for more than 5 cumulative years is next to 0. so need a permanent office hack.
i don't think buttering boss's ass is a reliable solution . i just wanna be back at home by 7, do some workout, roam in car/watch series/work on hobby project (aka relaxing) eat and die on my bed for next day's horrific life13 -
Quiet working environment (aside from hearing a joke from time to time)
Fast computer, lots of screens, keyboard and mouse of my choice
Good product owner that doesn't accept bullshit request into the sprint
No legacy crap5 -
Sprint for a website due Monday, would of been nice to get the website designs before Wednesday :/ and the content before yesterday.....2
-
Today at 'Derp & Co' is the end of the last sprint, no one have close all the task asigned. Myself included.
- that sucks...
Because there are task from previos sprints still in TODO that block other tasks.
- oof
But there is more... Yesterday was the deadline of the project. From today and onwards the client get discount.
- oof (but fair to the client)
Management have in mind AT LEAST 4 more weeks of development.
- But... how... wtf?
In 2 weeks part of the hardware we need for the project will return to the client.
- <smash the door and leave>
Management still is asking if we can do it on time...
- yeah... just call the Doctor, we need a TARDIS ASAP2 -
~ before sprint starts, suring planning phase ~
Me: “There’s no chance this will be done in a sprint”.
Scrum Master: “Great, let’s just mark this as a risk and continue”.
~ two weeks later ~
Me: “oh jeez, I don’t think this task will be done this sprint!”
Screwyou Master: “Why didn’t you raise a flag sooner so we could plan better?”
~ Me proceeding to jumping off that beautiful skyscraper office ~5 -
"Here's the sprint, it's well defined. fullstackchris, can you do this in two weeks?"
"Hmmm... nice work, looks well defined. It'll be tough, but sure, I can do it two weeks!"
Two days before sprint ends:
"Can we quickly duplicate n number of features from apps with literal armies of devs like whatsapp, airbnb, and Instagram?!?!?! We NEED these features to be polished and work perfectly!"
Scope creep will be my ONLY feedback in this retro.2 -
My director has started a new thing. We all have to tell what we did the previous day, what we are planning to do in the current day and if there are any blockers.
Good thing, right?
The only thing is that all these things are already plotted on the sprint board. It’s right fucking there in front of our eyes.
So what do we do? Just reiterate what is already written there. Fuck my productive life.6 -
I love adding documentation in a sprint and then it prevents us from releasing a product because someone did not finish the story. *doing Agile wrong*
-
That moment when agile means "I will sneak in new feature requirements in with your bug tickets even though our sprint is supposed to be only stabilization". Thanks PM Lord.
-
Welcome to Whose Sprint Is It Anyway, where the estimates are made up and the story points don’t matter!1
-
As I am now in a leading position in the middle of a agile transition:
has anyone got a source for a project done completely with user stories?
I am searching a real life example with already finished stories an active backlog and a documentation.
I just can't wrap my head around it. When and what do you document? In which Form do you document? How are you writing user stories with more content like diagrams and such?
(we use jira and confluence but just started with stories)
I read some articles on the topic and watched some talks but sill don't get the picture.8 -
Boss: here you go 3 tasks for your sprint
Days later with local server and db still not connecting on docker.
Boss: ya can we add a task on jira and get that fixed as soon as possible and see why its not working(feature doesnt work)
Me: you got it boss.
Me(in head): How am i ever going to finish my sprint for next Friday...8 -
Dev hours for a 2 week sprint is eaten by countless meetings and the deadline will not move. During sprint planning all meetings should be stated there or there will be number of hours allowed for the meetings as it will eat development hours.
I hate meetings all of a sudden during development.2 -
I just got an email from the project manager:
"Hi Team,
Please make sure to review the 7/12 sprint requests for (x project). Please add your estimates even if the requirements are ambiguous. Thank you."3 -
In my last sprint planning my Project Manager said: "...Drupal is a programming language, like swift or jquery.."
And my boss wonders why our plannings take so long.
😳🤔😭😭😭😭😭3 -
I get to learn so many different things in DevRant, that I want to add it as my task in the Sprint Board
-
I don't like many sudden unplanned meetings appearing during your estimated development hours. It consumes some development time and destroys your momentum.
We follow the 2 weeks sprint that contains sprint ceremonies like sprint planning, demo, retro, daily stand ups and backlog grooming meetings. My capacity should be less then 80 hours since there are sprint ceremonies and unplanned meetings that happen during development hours. Unfortunately, my capacity is still set to 80 hours and meetings hours are not deducted. This puts me to a disadvantage as I need to do unpaid OT/weekend work just to make up for the lost time consumed by meetings.
Those 1 hour/30 minutes meeting piles up thus consuming development work hours. So a simple example is that you have 32 hours estimated to finish a big user story but sudden unplanned meetings and sprint ceremony meetings will consume some of that 32 hours. I will bring this up in our next retrospective meeting.13 -
Some say shooting yourself in the foot. What do you call a self-inflicting bug that costs you 3 work days in a team sprint?
-.-4 -
Don't check in a major/ groundbreaking change a day or two before sprint demo! However confident you are about your code just postpone it until after all sprint demos 😷
-
The worst part about owning a non Nexus Android phone is the long wait for the next version of Android. I want 7.0 but I'm not even sure if my s7 edge on Sprint will get it before the year is over
9 -
When you're at the end of a sprint, implemented a cool new feature and only the garbage issues are left over -.-
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Fucking product owners. Churning out retarded requirements every sprint and then complaining about how the requirements haven’t been met, just to add new retarded requirements the next sprint.
Hot tip, if your product owner is obsessed over apple events, tell the cunt to go buy a new Apple Watch and suck on apples trillion dollar market value. Fucking goofy cunts.2 -
20 issues assigned to me this sprint with very vague titles and in the requirements it says "See *person name* for details"
Lesson learned: Never go on vacation during the spring planning meeting.3 -
As both a developer and consumer of a cellular phone service, the latest Sprint slogan "works for me" is unintentionally hilarious.
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Ah yes i also love not having a meeting before our first sprint because 'there is nothing to talk about yet'. I see absolutely no way this could ever go wrong.1
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I fucking hate 1 week sprints that include review, planning, and retrospective, so technically the sprint is 4 days.1
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MEETINGS
Daily stand up
Weekly status
Fortnightly update
Monthly planning
Life would be so much simpler without meetings. Just chat, why fuss over "meeting"?
As it is most of the things don't go as per what's planned in the monthly planning meeting.
Neither is there much of an update in the fortnightly update meeting. Only update is what we planned, isn't the right direction.
This will obviously screw up the weekly status. Screwed up planning is dishevelled implementation.
Daily stand up is just very sleep deprived developers, who don't wanna talk.
Make it my time's worth; say no more meetings. -
A whole bunch of new features were added mid-sprint without ever consulting any of the development team. They dogpiled on devs from other projects who had no prior experience with the code base, so naturally I lose traction because I'm tied up answering questions and explaining things.
This sprint I'm not getting any feature work done as I'm stuck fixing bugs and awful half-ass implementations (by well meaning devs that were thrown at unrealistic expectations).
Concerned at the burn down rate, next week they're planning on dogpiling on more guys to play catch up.
I'm so sad -
Switching to a new server provider the day before a sprint and thinking that turning it on qualifies as the server being "set up".
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Dual Core blasting on a friday morning... gotta love it. finished my sprint on time, now cleaning up.
1 -
Deadass, best quote said by my PM in our sprint planning meeting:
"I'm just going to name this sprint 'sprint arlene1' because she's the loser who didn't make it onto AOL on-time".4 -
"Dear" tech lead... Editing Cloud Function with GCP's online IDE is not equivalent to versioning your code. Use a proper VCS dammit. It's fucking sprint 3 already... Ugh3
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rant
When you come 1000kms away from office to home.. and promise to do WFH and the wifi at home is slow...
Killing me!!
Too many backlogs this sprint... -
When you have assigned stories that are blocked by other dependencies being developed in the same Sprint... Oh boy, someone is not going to finish on time u.u
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!Rant
Was thinbking about a frequentlly asked feature in app since December 2022.
Solution cam to me last night, 1 hour to do a POC, working.
3 days next sprint to implement it properly.
Feels good :) -
Definitely the meetings. Not sure if the "Meeting to prepare for the Sprint Planning" or the "Planning meeting to prepare for the Meeting to prepare for Sprint Planning".
I know it sounds like I'm joking, but it actually happened 2 months ago.1 -
I cant with this company any longer.
Most of it is crap but this is too much
Retrospective meeting after 2weeks sprint.
Sprint board for the meeting, in the not good section
1 -
customer claims they do scrum but they have quarterly planning events (2 full days) where we need to estimate and plan everything for the next 3 months.
Manager: "last quarter I calculated your velicoty so now you get 4 story points per sprint per developer"
Team: "But you started us off at just 5 per sprint that's too small"
Manager: "Ok but if you only did 4 why do you now want 20"
Team: "Because it's arbitrary and we say we want to"
Manager: "1 story point is 1 day"
Team: "story points aren't time"
Manager: "4 story points is 1 sprint"
Team: "but a sprint is 10 days"
Manager: "the junior dev can do 4 story points per sprint and the senior dev can do 4 story points per sprint"
Team: ...8 -
Stay the fuck on topic
The amount of dailies, sprint reviews or the likes I had where someone started to discuss super specific technical details that only concern like 2 out of the 12 people in the meeting is just insane -
Our "boss" asked us to go to office on Saturday to work on something that is not part of the current sprint, but planned to be done next sprint, because we are
A g i l e9 -
Have 1 urgent, 2 very urgent and 1 super very urgent task at the same time, and 3 man arguing in the back of my chair which one should I do first.
Me: waiting and working the some little cosmetic for the next sprint1 -
At the Pycon Brasil in a sprint to help Russel Keith-Magee project, the PyBee and got the first accepted PR! The prize was this challenge coin! Everyone is welcome to join, check the project on https://github.com/pybee/
1 -
Oh my fucking god, we're doing SCRUM, why does every task get stuck in review limbo and take a sprint and a half minimum because of it.
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One thing that I've noticed is that devs are the most stupid human beings while doing estimation or planning for the sprint. And I'm a dev too2
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I feel a bit like shit.
I started a new job about 2 months ago. Company is great， culture is amazing，project is interesting， processes are what i always dreamed.
This is after having learned the job from scratch at a startup that was all you can imagine. Tedious，hoping to be something that was not yet and so on....
So we are coming at the last week of a sprint. Its Tuesday and most stories are competed. We dont have a culture of jumping on others PR， its kind of like this is my PR kind of mentality. This is not established its more like an untold rule. But coming to the end i figured， especially if i knew exactly how to fix the PR that o should jump in a make it happen.
Person who owns those prs unassigned themselves from those and added me instead kind of like: “well take it if you want it....”
What are your rules regarding others prs and sprints?4 -
When you start a new job and you inherit a steaming pile of shit that NEEDS to integrate with a completely separate application but after repeatedly telling your manager his requests aren’t possible, he denies it and says it is possible.
Some context. They have an old application written in MVC. They want a new application written in react. They want all the old functionality to integrate with the new functionality. I don’t just mean render different views based on the route, I mean they want both applications to integrate seamlessly to create a new application. Not to mention this new application is completely different to the old one and has requirements that aren’t even compatible with the old application.
Also. I got into trouble today for completing the sprint in 2 days and starting on user stories (that were in the sprint, not the backlog). Apparently we’re not allowed to showcase the product until the sprint ends and we go through our retrospective/demo. LMAOOOO -
That moment when you are 50% ahead in the sprint and then the designer comes and says:
"I updated the design a bit"..
boom! an entire new website...
Ok maybe not that bad, but .... sometimes..... *sight* .... web designers :/ ... -
Spent an entire day clearing the backlog of the previous sprints in JIRA. Now i am seeing jira numbers everywhere :/2
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So we had a sprint review earlier. There were like 20 bosses who attended, head of this, head of that. We spent 5 mins to demo our application, and another 55 minutes discussing the "delivery date" 🤯2
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Sprint planning, the haiku:
“Is this worth four points?”
“I don’t know, what do you think?”
“Let’s just make it four”8 -
We have three sprint refinement meetings per week without any work. We just spent today's 1 hour refinement meeting without uttering a single word. Dumb Management 🤦🏻♂️2
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'It's just...' is the biggest lie any co-dev can give you!
If it's just a small change why don't they do the god damn work and spend the next 2 days wading through an undocumented shit storm.
Next person to say 'It's just x, y & x', that ticket will be going up their tail pipe sideways! -
Soooo lately my boss just introduced the AGILE methodology using Epics, UserStories, Tasks, etc. I enjoyed the approach so much. Scrums, Sprint meetings and the like. And also questioning him why ONLY NOW.
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So today we had a pre-sprint-planning meeting where the POs told us about the stories currently in the backlog. They went ahead and "roughly prioritised" some of them. Their priorities were:
- normal (but asap please)
- has to be done this sprint, because the feature has to be in the next release (code freeze after this sprint)
- top priority, because this has to be in the previous release (which was released last friday)
The non-normal stories alone are about twice our normal velocity. Good job guys. Good job. -
Great my team just got dumped with all the other teams messes and incomplete work! Great sprint planning guys.
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My color combinations sprint be like:
23* - current best
36
81
111
170 ...
Either i am a typical programmer or way too choosy!!! -
Having a meeting to decide, when to have other meetings...
Scrum, scrum of scrums, workstream, planning, pm ,design review, architecture review, Sprint review on and on....on and on on...why can't i simply code:(4 -
Every one of our sprint "planning" meetings.
We would sit and be told to estimate a bunch of defects we had never seen before. And then we wouldnt actually decide as a team what to commit to because it was assumed that we had to deliver everything in the backlog every sprint. This is what happens when you try to apply scrum to a maintenance team. -
I was put on some old forgotten project this sprint... looks like someone injected a shitload of heroin right into their frontal lobe and though it was a good idea to write a framework. Fuck.
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7 sprints to deliver an application from scratch to production for 7 types of user roles, with different work flows. Am I wrong to get pissed when the tech lead wants to implement RBAC only at the last sprint?1
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Dear Windows,
you done fucked it up!
I had a god damnit run, finishing the last mammoth task of our sprint.
Then, i decided to take a 3 minutes bio break.
Came back to my machine just to realise that this little OS bitch sneaked up on me, used the few seconds of my break to do a unholy, reboot of doom and damnation.
As a result, my virtual machine dropped it's php-storm settings...
I lost my precious focus on the task and my last nerves to figure out the correct settings again.
To cut a long story short.
We missed the aim of the Sprint.
The Sprint failed and i got a half-baked module.
At least, all the complicated businesslogic is proper covered by unittests.2 -
I'm at that point where I want to lash out at our team for not finishing a sprint. I've been doing the scrum master/dev role for months now and each sprint is incomplete since we have started the agile way.
Most of my team members are seasoned senior devs and my team's downfall are caused by not acting as a team. I'm the youngest in the team and have been acting as a babysitter for them.3 -
Had a four hour retro/review yesterday. Plus a mini demo I had to put together. Three hour sprint planning session today.
And they still wanted me to go to some "company values" meeting tomorrow, aside from the weekly call I have to report progress. Fuck that shit.
I feel like I got nothing done this week. Monday and Tuesday were fine for the most part, but since it's been just complete idling.
I mean, I love my company, great coworkers, good management, and just all around great experience. But man, it gets frustrating when you lose so much development time... I wanted to sprinkle in some extra goodies for the next sprint, but it doesn't look like that's gonna happen.2 -
When the scrum team complains in the last three to four sprint retros that were sick of back to back meetings ... MAYBE STOP SCHEDULING BACK TO BACK MEETINGS. Would it kill you to just spread them out a bit?4
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High priority Bugs from the legacy system were pushing productive work out of the sprint enough that a 1 year project due in 2 months was sitting on 6 months of backlog of just my work. There are days where having 20+ years at the company is not a bonus. Fortunately I finally got through to the boss that he wouldn't make any ground on the project at this pace and he had the PM step in. Last sprint I worked on the project nearly full time.
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Management suddenly decide to push for an early go-live for a product being worked on by another dev team in the company. As a result we are pulled in to help and get extra tasks loaded onto our sprint.
My co-worker pulled an all nighter to get the extra work done.
I emailed the project manager to remove items from my sprint to make space for the new work.
Am I lazy, or smart?6 -
Demo driven development.
Fucking nightmare.
Did a simple search for TODO Statements in the code and almost fucking spilt my coffee.
And the best part, they will demo most of this in Sprint review as done.. WTF.
Done means "Ready to Release" not "Ready to Demo".2 -
Our burndown chart went upwards this sprint. I'm sorry, I meant our burnup chart. It was an unforgettable sprint indeed.3
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How do you fit QA inside the weekly sprint?
At the end of a sprint, the team should be able to give something deliverable such as a new release.
How could the developers team integrate their work with the QA team along this week?
I mean, should we test individual features with QA as soon as they’re merged or make a pre-release test with all new features together before releasing? Develop 80% of the time and reserve last 20% for tests?
Could you share something or recommend any links?3 -
Is it common to have QA and Product Management in sprint planning? Cuz they are derailing sprint planning SO MUCH!!! I am internally screaming. Aaaaaaaaand they just extended the scope of one of the issues. Neat.11
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Our client supposedly managed our Jira board yesterday in preparation for the release to live.
It was a mess. We have two people on this project - so our effective maximum workload is 10 days worth of tickets.
The current sprint plus the next have over 60 tickets in them, with the other "light" sprints having about 15 days worth in them.
I know you shouldn't get caught up over estimates too much, but they're in place for a reason.
The client really needs a reality check, and to be reasonable. When looking from a macro perspective he loses sight of all reason and scope, trying to grossly overfill what the two of us can handle.
A junior and student placement dev can only do so much.
I guess time will tell how realistic 16th April is.. -
Sales agreed to client to deliver in 7 sprints. It's the 3rd sprint already and the tech lead is still trying to firm up scope MVP.1
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!rant got to give an end of sprint demo for the ui my team had been working on for three weeks today, bosses said they were impressed with how much we got accomplished (we're all new college hires and this is only out second sprint) and didn't care that out demo was ran from a local machine rather than a proper web server
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Mid hackathon reviews.
It kills the excitement that a judge might have seeing the thing for the first time in the final review.
Instead the final review becomes - "Hey, what did you improve from the last time?"
**Its not a fucking sprint**1 -
You know, I don't mind getting dragged if I deserve it. But it would be nice to have ALL the information I need to make an estimate BEFORE you hang me out to dry.
First I was told that work on this issue could be kicked down the road since we were getting big contracts. The next day the issue was in the sprint.
I tell you I won't be able to get it done with the business critical stuff you said absolutely had to be done that sprint (turns out we had 3 months of leeway even before COVID). You say alright cool. We push it to next sprint. The next day you say we have been pushing that issue too much and we absolutely have to get it done this sprint. At least have it so QA can look at it by Tuesday.
I give a preliminary look to QA cuz I found a bug, but they can test other shit about this fucking issue, but then get shut down fucking again because it isn't code complete.
STOP. MOVING. FUCKING. GOAL POSTS. AND. GASLIGHTING. ME.
And as a bonus, I disagree with the necessity of this work in general. I think it's fucking stupid, unnecessary, and zero value added. It's a management jerkoff issue that is going to piss off all of our users.1 -
I am I the only one who doesn't like sprint demos? I don't care what someone else worked on. Yeah they wrote some code that does stuff, great. I don't have time to understand it and when I have to fix it I learn it.
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Meetings have the ability to slow you down like nothing else. The moment you feel you are about to crack the problem you have been working on.. ding! there comes a notification for the next meeting.
Currently my team has a mid sprint review meeting, an end sprint meeting, a let's plan the next sprint meeting, a team meeting, but the one I have absolute hatred for are daily standups.1 -
Our project using Agile methodology, we have every day stand-up meeting(scrum meeting) that normally end around 10 to 15 minutes with 7 ppl.
One day The Project Owner came and join our stand-up meeting that cost us like sprint planning
And The Project Owner did not stop there, he come again next day for the 1 week.
Because of that our product backlogs and Sprint Planning goes haywire.
We failed to delivery what we planned for that project. -
At the end of the sprint half of the stories didn't get done due to lack of coordination to put 4 people in the same room and get them to agree on the solution.
During Retro my Scrum Master says: Are these stories not done because we haven't estimated them during sprint planning? 😂 -
*last week, sprint retrospect meeting*
TL : "So next is dotenv . Hey dotenv, tell us what went well in the sprint, what went wrong and what could be improved"
le dotenv: "so all went good for me. i had just 5 tickets and i was able to complete them on time. i am grateful for team to provide support when needed in those tasks. no areas for improvement or wrong from my side"
*next sprint*
TL : "So dotenv, you have these 7 tickets with 3 being p0 priority. you also have 2 releases in addition to these tickets. also, since your senior is going to Malaysia for a nice fucking week, here is his additional 5 tickets with 3 p0 priority and 2 releases :)"
me : 🥲
----
I really need to push up my blame game :/2 -
Is having breaking changes in an API at a very early stage normal? We have like every sprint at least 3 endpoints who have breaking changes 🤔 I mean, is having refactored code better then stability?1
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Just wondering on some agile best practices. Do you guys estimate efforts for defects? My PO is totally against it and says we deliver 5 to 7 pointers user stories + fix all the defects from previous sprint and current sprint, which I feel is over burdening the Dev team + in hurry to complete current sprint stories delivering poor quality work, which in turn become defects in the next sprint 😨 caught in this loop for a while now 😫4
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I suppose to be on leave after few hours... The team leader added five task to my sprint tasks... No wonder...
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So I was reading Scrum for my exam all I can see was Meeting.
Product backlog meeting for 15 mins;
Enters to the office 5 mins meeting;
Sprint review meeting for 10mins;
Daily scrum 2 times meetings;
Sprint planning 3 hours of meeting;
Starting the next Sprint 30mins meetings;
Managing releases 45 min meeting;
Sprint Retrospective 45 mins of meeting;
Wtf? Do they do any work there?4 -
What is wrong with these people!!!
Last minute changes are pain in the ass... the design team review gives a go ahead but then pm team doesnt agree and and you have to get the changes suggested done in a day??!!!
In half a day you have to get ux review, peer review, module owner review, architect review, pm review and then merge publish bump and test in ci?!!end of sprint is today...
Ugh!!!every sprint!!every fuckin sprint!!! -
The scrum master cries out for the team’s burndown chart as he move more unplanned work into the current Sprint.1
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One time a pm told me to shut up during a sprint demo. I don't work there anymore. Forced me to find a place where I was a better fit.4
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If you host a contest, for fuck's sake, DO IT RIGHT. A 4 hour sprint coding contest? Oh boy, finally something I can find the time for! WOULD BE A SHAME IF THE SERVERS INSTANTLY STARTED CRASHING DUE TO OVERLOAD... 😤😤😤
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- the 2 hr meeting called for every day of a week, to prepare for a PPT which is to be presented to a higher up exec within 5 mins.
- the sprint planning meeting, where all the stories of that sprint are already weighted and assigned to the devs, but it still goes for 2 hrs
- the backlog grooming meeting, where instead of looking at the sprint backlog, the current sprint is looked at and discussed. -
I thought I posted about this awhile back but I didn't. I'm glad since the story is so much better now.
6 weeks ago: Told I'm going to be on a super fun JAMStack build with lots of sexy animations. Sweet, this will be a fun build!
5 weeks ago: Find out what the timeline on this incredibly ambitious project is. I start raising flags cause everything needs to go PERFECT for this to not blow up and/or turn in to a dumpster fire.
4 weeks ago: Project "kicks off" with a meeting with the client. We find out that they've decided to do another round of revisions on their design comps, but we have what we need for sprint 1. We provide a list of all the assets/information we still need for sprint 1 success.
3 weeks ago: Still waiting on some assets for sprint one, but we're fumbling our way through. Still waiting on the PM to get around to doing their PM job and building out our backlog / gathering requirements for us.
2 weeks ago: Sprint 1's end date comes and goes. Still need assets from the client, I've personally asked them for the same asset 3 different times. Sprint 1 gets extended 1 week.
1 week ago: We deliver sprint 1 page templates, minus the resources we're still waiting for. Get chewed out by the client regarding the pages not looking like their comps (Yeah, no shit sherlock, you never sent us the assets)
This week: Working on Sprint 2 commitments. We have 2x as many page templates to deliver, per developer, as we had the first sprint. Still waiting on Sprint 1 assets. Don't have Sprint 2 assets. Wait, what about the global styles? They still haven't sent those to us yet either.
Requirements? Guess I'll spend valuable dev time tracking those down for myself.
Client? Well, they're pissed off we haven't hit our commitments yet.
Oh well, at least we have a pimple faced, fresh out of college, CS major, with no real development experience rolling on to this cesspool of a project.
Other devs? Well, we're out of fucks to give. Lets just watch this thing burn.
Oh, I forgot to add, we have 17 page templates to deliever between today (2/27) and 3/18. #NoFuckingWay -
Had someone mention adding tasks to stories in our sprint mid-sprint is messing up the sprint statistics... Can someone explain to me how one is supposed to know every task and approximately how long it will take to complete for a given story before even opening the code base up?
This is currently my major gripe with agile / scrum. How exactly you're supposed to instinctively know the solution to a complicated problem, as well as the steps to implement it, the approximate time it'll take, AND roadblocks you'll run into on DAY ONE? WHAT?
Too often does a 2 point story turn into a 5 point story because deep down it was a more complicated problem than originally thought, and a good scrum developer is supposed to... Either clairvoyantly known that or just allocate hours into unrelated tasks?
Someone help me out here -
Gosh, how I hate meetings at the beginning of the sprint... and at the middle... and in the end! Just fucking give me the requirements!4
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The one single time i succesfully remember my dream from the previous night it just had to be being in chased through a spooky building by this weeks sprint.2
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Retrospective does not seem to work in practice as it does in theory.
Complain about what went wrong and what went right. Then at the next one, those issues still exist.
I might as well just have written in a diary to air my frustrations -
When your SCRUM Master cancels the sprint retro because he knows all hell is about to break loose.2
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On a past project, every sprint planning was the most unproductive meeting. We were expected to fix all open bugs each sprint, so there was literally nothing to plan. How do you prioritize when the goal is “do everything”? 😂
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Is anyone’s team here fully Agile and how has that been so far? My team is currently in sprint 0 and I’m already tired of the meetings.24
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Yes I know that's too many points this sprint.
I understand you have to have all the things.
No I can't move the stories out bc you gave us a hard deadline for the release. -
Don't you love the neverending sprint?
You know the one that just inherits all the tickets from the last one? Each sprint packs on new cool features but along the way bug tickets come in for code you haven't even touched or wrote and you deal with them because they are blockers.
before you know it, sprint is over and ok to the next one. I'm pretty sure that is how this is supposed to work right?1 -
Have you been scolded at workplace for not finishing the work before sprint end and the reason being not your laziness but your incompetency or zero/bare knowledge on the work?
How to feel less a loser in such situations?7 -
Sprint planning meeting going nuts with 8 people shouting over each other and people standing up out of chairs to be heard.... Craziness.... Went in with expectation of just making skeleton of the user stories and discussed nitty gritty implementation details
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I just hate how all the the internet providers (Sprint and Verizon mainly) just attack each other. It is all about combating, attacking and 1upping to them.2
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In my previous agile sprint I somehow completed my task before the halfway, that's why I got less buffer time and point in this sprint.
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Today I'll be part of a sprint on which only me and my coworker will work.
Usually its 4-5 people. And ive only worked 2.5 weeks now.
Im a bit nervous3 -
My number of issues resolved per sprint dropped since I have been switched to a new project and I feel it's gonna bite me in my arse1
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If you have not achieved the sprint and a meeting is scheduled why you have not achieved the sprint ... in the next sprint ...
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Worked super hard the whole sprint on a module to get it perfect, only to find out today that 90% of it was just changed and will need to be redone next sprint.
1 -
What are your thoughts on sprint planning meeting with poker cards? ( Everytime we had those meetings, dev team points are always similar and rest of the people never)6
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'we don't develop with quality just for the sake of it, just push it to finish the sprint'
Another gem from my scrum master -
Finished Sprint-Task "Update WordPress-Core + Language >> 4.7" on wednesday evening.
Have to take it back into "doing" next morning, because 4.7.1 was released... -_-1 -
Four major network disruptions on east coast the past week. Today fiber cut in Florida effecting central Florida. Verizon, AT&T and Sprint have each had disruptions impacting many businesses and customers. Coincidence?
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I hate so much all those sprint related meetings. They literally take one day totalled (every 2 weeks).
Review, dry run demo, actual demo, planning, daily hourly meetings.... so much talking.8 -
Recently we've checked /sprint in HipChat to test batching of sprint status messages. For testing we wrote what first poped into our minds.
One Dev wrote /sprint We're on schedule
Another wrote /sprint Everything is broken, help
How different tests and first thoughts about progress sometimes can be?1 -
!rant
Agile devs— do you attend sprint planning?
I want to, but my boss told me not to go (waste of my time, he says). Only leads attend them, then they come back with tickets for the rest of the team. But a few other devs I’ve spoken to found that absurd, since attending lets you choose your tickets to a certain extent.
Do you attend yours? Is it crazy not to? Am I missing out? (I ask bc ours is happening right now— and it’s so empty in here!)4 -
I took 2 days off, just to be far away from sprint board and tasks.... And just after 2 hours of my 1st day I am end up continuing on my assigned task 🤦♂️2
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Noticing that we have several stories in sprint that are scattered across the backlog, some are at the top, some at the bottom...
Me: I think we should prioritize the backlog.
PO: I agree; When do you think you'll be done?1 -
!rant
There's a workshop here in Philippines about Sprint Design & it is based from this book.
Any of you guys read this book?
Does the concepts/ideas in the book helped you in your work/personal projects?
2 -
when you take a vacation day on sprint planning and leave a note in team chat of how much work you can take on next sprint but it gets ignored and you get overloaded next sprint
fml2 -
whats your code sprint soundtrack? -- for me its alot of propeller heads, Crystal METHod, & Dual Core
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When you've been handling multiple production defects and software PMR tickets for the last couple of months and the morning of a new sprint your JIRA/SCRUM/Kanban/task/whatever board is empty under your name. Feels good man.
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Should you get tasks from the backlog when everything is done in actual Sprint? Or it is a good time to keep learning while waiting for next Sprint?3
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Go for a walk or run outside. Get a fellow dev to play a game on the company xbox. Stop the task and start a new task from the sprint.
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Whenever we have to do Sprint Retros i feel like i am trapped in self-help group.
Recently, we had to describe our work/team like we would do amazon reviews. That is, we had to write "reviews" about our last sprint.
I sincerely would like to know why we can't discuss problems like grown adults, if there are any. Why do we have to pretend we are in a space rocket, on a sailing boat, in a formula one race car or reviewing amazon articles to articulate our needs?
I feel like developers are treated like stupid, little kids, and the majority of the developers don't have a problem with it.4 -
Any of you guys that also faces existential crisis every sprint deadline? Not being able to fullfill PM's expectations is horrible.1
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When we take user stories in sprints but dependencies are not resolved. I have to wait till n-1 the day for the upstream team to go to UAT and then push half my tasks to next sprint for testing \ prod . Fuck the planners - _-|-_-¦
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1) Guess how many beans (hours) are in the jar (sprint).
2) Pad my estimate with 12 beans.
3) Be high and have to have meetings in which I explain bean counting is not an exact science and insist that meetings about how we count beans will only put us behind further and will never ever make us better bean counters.
or
3b) Be under, have extra time in the sprint, only to have product management fill the jar with more beans until I'm wrong again. -
Let me share my sprint with you.
So, we lost a developer this at the start of the sprint because the organisation we work for is total cancer.
Project manager frequently says to us that it's better to under commit than over commit.
Come sprint planning, we commit to exactly what we know we can achieve.
Of course, the PM whinges and says we need to put more in the sprint. So, we say sure, but we can't guarantee we will deliver everything on time.
Fast forward 2 weeks, we complete 90% of what we committed to.
PM is whinging at stand ups, asking us why some user stories are still in 'ready for test'.
We try to explain to the PM that 2 weeks ago we made ourselves very clear that this point 2 weeks later would most likely happen.
PM stops whining.
Tester starts whinging about only having a couple of days to test. Blames developers for not adhering to acceptance criteria.
>User stories aren't actually user stories, they're user essays.
How do you deal with this?3 -
The Sprint started and this Stupid Lady did not finish her work yet and I am stuck till that. Funniest part is figuring out what to tell in the Daily Stand Up. ' Going through the Code and getting Familiar' :P
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When they had three weeks to get through their sprint and they still arnt done but yet you get done your 2 week sprint in 4 days. So much for deadlines and commitment to meet them...
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Ok the sprint review is tomorrow, there are lots of work to do and qe are half slept, this gonna end well :)
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!rant
Quite an insight
"Is npm worth $2.6M?"
http://words.steveklabnik.com/is-np...
On a read sprint and I am sharing whatever I find interesting. -
Task: Research how to refector our grid component to be usable with Redux
Result: The next sprint will be used to replace Angular 5 by React
what happend? Not that I am not happy with the decision but this was a quite unexpected result.3 -
AI iis not easy. Its very difficult. Its not a hobby. Its a life long sprint. And you may never get the hang of it.
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Why are we debugging our stories?! Heck even our products design?.... In the end we have our tasks objectives updated mid sprint.... What is this chaos?!
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I wonder if we will have a sprint review meeting for 2016. You know to prevent the shit storm that happened to continue ...
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