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Search - "fuuuuck"
I am so sick and tired of hearing "I'm not good with computers" from these god damn secretaries I have to work with.
Fuck you! I mean, seriously, FUCK YOU! That God damn piece of shit Windows XP door stop has been on your desk for at LEAST a decade (shit, I think that was the same PC my highschool had, and I'm in my mid thirties)!
What in the FUCK do you mean you don't know the difference between files and folder? How? HOW can you stare at that damn screen every fucking work day off your life and not grasp simple concepts!
And FUCK THE ADMINISTRATION for hiring these volunteerily ignorant babies who refuse to bother figuring out more than just where the power button is (and, fuck me, even THAT took years).
Fuck me if, after spending 40 God damn minutes of my time trying to guide some secretary, who's been working twice as long as I have and making probably twice as much, on how to copy a file from one folder to another, I have to listen to some fucking pity speech "I just don't get this high tech computer stuff. I'm just too old"
And FUCK society for allowing this fucking behavior! I don't know any other piece of technology where people are happy being so blindly ignorant to even the basics! I don't know Jack shit about the internal working of a car, but I know where and how to use my steering wheel and peddles and that I need to take the thing for an oil change. Hell, I even know when my tires look bad... If I can do that, you can fucking learn how to copy a god damn file without needing me to help you... FOR A FUCKING HOUR!
*Takes a deep breath*
So... How was your day?28
This one is about the SJWs in the software development community.
SJWs in general are a bunch of crying assholes.. software developers who are activists in online software dev sites are even worst.
Days ago, my visual studio 2019 RC notified me of a new version so I decided to look at the release notes. It was then when I read the most stupid fix ever included in a change log: "Visual Studio installer welcome image contains offensive element for Chinese."
Do you wanna know what that super offensive element in that image was? A GUY ON A BIKE WEARING A GREEN FUCKING HAT. Apparently in China this means someone's wife or sister is a prostitute.
I clicked on the link to read the actual feedback... and holy shit isn't that Chinese idiot an actual raging cunt.
In his stupid OP he is quoted saying: "this is serious".. FUCK YOU... your entire existence CAN NOT and SHOULD NOT be considered SERIOUS at all you whining dick sucking asshole.
And to make matters worst: a "fix" was released for this within days and immediately made available to everyone.
Motherfucking assholes in Microsoft took this guy's shit seriously and were scared shitless not to offend a snowflake abomination of an excuse of a human being.
Who gives a crap.. if you are offended and you publicly announce it, you are telling everyone that you are a pathetic child who can't control his feelings and wants everyone else to do it for him/her.
Well assholes at Microsoft and the Chinese offended by this shit, removing the green hat is offensive to the Irish people... would you re-instate it? NO YOU WON'T.
Why? well this is easy to answer: Irish people are white. White people, by standards of SJW cucks, can't be offended and reverse racism doesn't exist towards white people.
I hope that Chinese cunt, and if he has a girlfriend which I very much doubt since he had time to make that stupid feedback in the first place, to die slowly, bleeding from every hole and some newly created ones too, while watching his girlfriend get fucked by a high-ranking member of the ruling communist party of his Chinese gov and she is enjoying it and with a big smile on her face just so he can die feeling like the shit human being he is.
People on that feedback thread have urged MS to revert the change, asked MS to direct resources at fixing things that are as trivial as this but yet to be addressed... only MS didn't give a fuck.
Here's the link to the feedback thread for those interested: https://developercommunity.visualstudio.com/...
If that asshole is here on devRant, here me out you raging cunt: I couldn't give a fuck less about you shit feelings or your stupid activism but I do care when idiots like you influence great software (incl. open source projects) just to feel good about yourself, to feel like you've accomplished something this week.
FUCK YOU all the way to hell.
For all other assholes (AKA SJWs) in the software community: software/computers don't give a fuck about your feelings. I'll beat you down to the depths of hell if you come at me with your progressive/equality/political correctness crap any day of the week... you just pick the day and I'm happy to oblige.49
FUUUUCK!!! I just saw a dead pixel in my retina display
The fact that it is retina tells me that it isn't just one pixel.
I fucking hate my life right now5
Your system doesn't work and you wasted everyone's time so why don't you just give up, dive from the 50th floor, and smash that watermelon you call a brain case?
Every fucking time someone attempts to make an online ***sYsTeM*** for the sake of "convenience", it does nothing but give everyone a headache because the people administering it are too dumb for life. I walked in to your office asking how to secure an authorization letter, you said I should just ask the owner to email you the letter and you would print and sign it. All is done, you acknowledged the email and you said "Noted" so we're good now, right?
Nope. I walked in to your office again to ask for the signed and printed letter, you tell me you can't sign it because there are missing information - some shit you didn't mention when I first asked you. I told you that you gave an OK to the request, you denied. When I looked for the email and tried to show you your own fucking response on the spot, you said "Oh, oh wait. I did. But you are missing this and that." Talk about a lying piece of shit whore mouth.
So what the fuck did you "accept" then? You choke and try to make shit up about how you could be referring to some other information that are good but there are still some that are missing. So why did you not respond to the email and told me so the first time around? Am I supposed to read everyone's fucking mind around here? Is there even a mind to read in the first place? Seriously, is this my life now?
Apparently, I have to come down to your office, email you, come down to your office again, email you again, and then come down to your office again? Ooh, the convenience. The SYSTEM. What a process. Innovative. Ingenious. Brain damage-inducing experience. It's like accepting a merge request and then blaming the requester why it got merged. Fuuuuck you~~~~
Does that make any fucking sense to you, you bimbo useless piece of shit? You try to be a smart ass about it but you know you're wrong, you response-happy piece of shit. If you just apologized instead of lying and blaming your way around competence, I wouldn't have reported you. This is why you're stuck in that fucking desk, you basic bitch. Savor what little power you have but you're gonna get a feedback of the lifetime.
I swear to god, some people are just fertilizers waiting to happen. You'd think that technology would filter out your kind but instead 8 out of 10 people that interact with you develop new sets of hemorrhoids in various flower patterns. Every sword fish that found a home in my desecrated asshole are now coming out and killing themselves because even your shit is just too much for them.
I hate this city. God damn, I fucking hate it here. I just got back from vacation all happy and chill, yet these selfish fucks are masters in pushing my buttons.17
Le me: "my code is awesome! The way I did XY and Z is insanely cool, efficient, and maintainable."
Le Boss: "yeah so let's schedule a code review next week."
Le me : "... fuck, Fuck, FUUUUCK!"
Tried deploying a new nginx server today, wrote the site config manually.
"Alright, done! Let's restart the service and look in the browser how it looks"
# systemctl restart nginx
> Process exited with error code.
> Unexpected } on line 13.
# vim /etc/nginx/sites-enabled/thatconfig.conf
"Wait wtf.. there's nothing wrong with the curly braces.. they're all opening and closing as they should..."
*takes another closer look*
Line 12, missed a fucking semicolon 😑
Append semicolon, :wq, # systemctl restart nginx
Works like a charm 🙄 all because of a stupid semicolon.
Until now I thought that the semicolon jokes were just lame.. but damn you semicolon, you are indeed the superior hide and seek player 😅11
We get it, you can build "complex systems" and the entire codebase might as well be your thesis showing off every fucking thing you learned in every chapter of every book. This is like SEO + 3000 word essay requirement + supermall + a 500 page book with no plot in the form of backend code. You want it? We got it!
You utilized every fucking component available in the platform for no reason. It's like you just wanted to use them so you can write them down in your resume. Your code is so abstract that you can't understand it yourself. The nerve of this tumor not to put even a tiny bit of comment.
Let's not forget about the variables you put into the configuration file that do absolutely nothing because you just ignored them. "Woops, I set this value as 'this' in the config file but the code sets it to 'that'. Ooh, the suspense. Debugging is fun! Tee hee! Configurable as fuuuuck!"
IT MAKES NO SENSE. YOU MAKE NO SENSE. The few variables you use, you can't even organize. Jesus Christ. Look at this rectal poetry:
endless pile of other bullshit with misspellings
another chapter of hell
What are these? Fucking landmines? Every time someone asks you why this was used, what it's for, you say you don't know. Then we go back and forth and end up removing them because you say they're not needed. If they're not needed, why are they there? This masterpiece is so far off into the future that our minds cannot comprehend it. Maybe you are a genius and someday, people will appreciate you but right now, I want to stone you to death. Right, your face will start looking like your code - aBstRaCt aS fUcKkKk! ExTeNsIbLe aS sIn!
And the misspellings, again, if only programs don't have to be accurate. Have you ever caught an EXPECTION? Did you FETFH the data? How do you generate a SESSOIN?
That moment when you set up a VM with a dynamic storage size, install stuff, randomly look at the host OS, and notice there's only 23 MB remaining. Fuuuuck 😲3
I am removing all my personal items from work so if I suddenly quit I can walk out and never have to come back. All thanks to a micromanaging maniac of a manager and his lackluster lackeys of lameville.
Fuuuuck youuuuu huuuuge. I curse you cunts with everlasting indigestion followed by bouts of vicious volcanic diarrhea.8
If someone calls me with the thickest indian accent in the world and they tell me that they are Dave or Mark from an American sounding company I eould usually assume I am getting spammed or phishing calls.
If american companies are contracting from India to do these sorts of things I would really like to know the numbers for it, since I would assume that the average tech company would be like "hey wait a minute this sounds fishy af!"
Not hating on my Indian homies, y'all know i got love for ya, but fuuuuck man y'all can't deny that a lot of fake scam calls come from over there. They can come from anywhere really, but i have gotten many from over there28
Fuuuuck I'm an idiot. Decided to take a snapshot of our production server at DigitalOcean. It's a 260gb drive, so as far I can see this will be running all night. Someone will fucking kill me...7
Fuuuuck. I had important job to do and instead i roller skated.
I regret only the fucking pain but the speed was amazing.
Maybe i will do it again once i have free time.3
*Breathes in and out*
WHO THE FUCKING FUCK MESSED WITH THE WLAN ON THE PI?!
WHY THE FLYING FUCK DOESNT wlan0 WORK WITH THE NEW STRETCH IMAGE?!
WHO THE FUCK PROGRAMMED
THIS SHIT OF AN IMAGE?!
EVEN THE SHUTDOWN ISNT WORKING PROPERLY!
I FUCKING LOVED THE OLD JESSIE ONE! OK!!
*Begins to smash head to table*
WHY THE FUUUUCK DOESNT THIS WORK!
PLEASE! FFS IT JUST WONT CONNECT!
*Head begins to bleed*
*Stops smashing head*
*Tried once again*
Huh, it takes Longer now...
I HAD SO HIGH HOPES FOR THIS SHIT TO WORK! PLEASE RELIEVE ME OF THIS FUCKING BAD DREAM!
*Takes a Deep breath once again*
Error, another user is connected.
THIS CANT FUCKING BE! IM THE ONLY FUCKING USER ON THIS WIFI AND PI!
THIS SHIT MUST BE KIDDING ME!
AND NOW IT WONT SHUT DOWN!
*Realizes that I ran out of fucks to give*
IM NOT ONLY PULLING THE PLUG NOW, I WILL BE PULLING THE GODDAM FUSE OF MY ROOM!!
EVEN MY DUCKY DIDNT HELP ME!
THIS IS USELESS!
btw, there should be Raspberry Pi Capes.9
Fuuuuck this corporate bullshit. I'm basically sitting around twiddling my thumbs waiting for some jackass to grant me access to the server that my boss moved my code over to. Why the hell did you put my app on a production server that runs every 30 minutes...THAT I DON'T HAVE ACCESS TO?? Now there's a critical bug and a $50K order in limbo because I can't push any fixes. Fuck me. The worst part will be in the next hour or so when dozens of people are calling, emailing, and attacking my cubicle like rabid animals about why orders aren't moving and I'll have to explain that production is a train wreck because reasons. Just end me.2
Fuuuuck you AWS!!!
If you have a feature called “termination protection” perhaps it should actually prevent an instance from being terminated!
But nooo, you add *one line* of text on a documentation unrelated to ec2 terminations saying that in this particular scenario, it will terminate your instance.
Eat a dick. Eat a bag of dicks. Eat all of the dicks you fucking turd munchers.
Now I have to manually enter a month of invoices from the order emails that were created. 😡2
Had to consume a soap webservice which spits out a XML of 5000 lines with ambiguous node names and a shitload of data that needs to be parsed.
Built a ORM model to hold all the data and I already built a Xmlparser which works like a boss.. untill now..
I've been debugging for 3 hours, cursing every God man ever made up. Swearing at my screen like a madman... but this particular set of nodes just didn't got saved properly to the DB...
Alright, so my ORM definition is fucked... nope... Alright, so my XmlParser is fucked... nope...
Whaaaaat the fuuuuck...
Oh wait, I've been checking the wrong table for hours....
Hooray for ambiguous tables because I followed the ambiguous structure.
I am going to get drunk now.
Have a great day. :)4
I am working on an open source game project, and the most common way to draw things is using a class named ManagedSurface. The class is otherwise awesome, but it has a method called getBasePtr(x, y), which gives you a pointer to the requested coordinates. Fair enough (this is C++ without STL by the way).
But WHY THE HELL CAN I REQUEST ANY POINTER THAT I WANT, EVEN IF IT'S OUTSIDE THE SURFACE? Other cointainers have sanity checks, asserts and such, and the surface KEEPS TRACK OF IT'S WIDTH AND HEIGHT.
WAS IT SO FUCKING HARD TO ADD assert(x <= w); assert(y <= h);???
I spent 3 days on valgrind trying to find a heap corruption that manifested at random points in the code.
On the bright side, I learned how to use valgrind (which is awesomely awesome).4
Fuck Shibboleth and its documentation, fuck examples for configuring it, ops sorry they have no examples at all so fuck them, fuck SAML fuuuuck!!!!! And I almost forget FUCK JAVA2
Fuck you. Fuck them. Fuck everyone. Fuuuuck. I hope and dream of the day people become programmable cyborgs or stupidity is spliced out genetically. Or someone invents an implant that disables the vocal cords when stupid'O'meter goes to the red. Or a system that paralyzes the body temporarily as a fine for stupidity. Or an AI that takes over once shit is approaching unacceptable levels. SOMETHING! Some kind of an incentive for the fucking sheep to develop their little raisins. FUCK!!!?!?!!5
On top of all the shit that's going on right now... This morning my shower head broke of, so now I can/have to hose myself to cleanlines.. Can't wait for corona shit to pass so I can start looking for a new place to live that will hopefully not fall apart.. :/
And then my laptop decided to do a harikiri.. MMD! Fuuuuck oooofffff!!9
Good dev friend just told me today he believes the moon landing was faked.
Like, What the fuuuuck you have a M.Sc. in engineering.
You know the Sc. stands for goddamn science! I don't know if I can take him seriously anymore...should I try to change his mind? How?12
FUCK! I've done this a fucking God fucking damn million fucking God fucking damn times fucking before! FUCK! FUUUUCK! FUUUUUUUUUCK!
The best part is that someone is going be paying me once it works............................... FUUUUU K!2
I took half an afternoon to realize that the complex problem I was facing could be solved just by changing a variable's name for another one that would do the trick.
GOD. FUCKING. DAMNIT !!!
Most of us have scary stories about professors that think that they know about what they are talking about when it comes to teaching comp sci subjects. Shit is so backwards in most parts of the world with teachers showing outdated or completely pointless tech.
A friend called me the other day asking for classic ASP help because it was being used in his web class. Another was asking me about flipping c cgi web scripting. Wtf are schools teaching? Having the drive to LEARN actuall useful topics that are relevant on the market is hard enough as it is...shouldn't schools help at least a little bit? I was lucky, we were thaught Java, Python, cpp, js, sql, html5, css3, php, ruby and we had classes for node (for those interested) and asp.net mvc. Those were RELEVANT and good classes and while some outdated tech was good the rest is just bullshit. Specially since most teachers have 0 market value as develpers...but hey!! Wtf do I know! Of course my word is shit against all them doctorate and master degrees.
Gimme a break. School can be great. But a lot of the leadership there is toxic af for our industry. And while I appreciate the effort in me being thaught modern languages (and thaught is a hard word since I already knew how to program way before going to school) i still remember a teacher taking points away from an assignment for not using switch statements in Python...despite my explaining that there was no such thing (you can go around it by using a lil technique using functions, its pretty cool..pero no mames)
Or what about the time I mentioned to a fellow student how he could use markup for having more control with his windows forms while the very same teacher contradicted me saying that shit was not possible. Or the guy at the school in which I work teaching intro to programming using fucking vba...fk man if you are going the BASIC route at least teach them b4j or something fuuuuck.
I had good teachers, but they were always cast asside by dptmnt heads as if they knew better. I just hate pendejo teachers I really do.
Chinguen a su madre, bola de babosos.11
Python, fuuuuck youuuu and your stupid packaging system, and python devs who are bashing on js you douchebags ever tried NPM !!26
Usually I use my laptop which has ubuntu installed but sometimes if I'm doing something for long period of time I use my desktop which has windows 7 installed. You know for games and shit.
Here is the bad part about all of this
This fucking piece of shit ass licker. Deleted my entire god damn paths.
And if you don't know if you don't have the right paths you can't do shit basically. This fucking piece of smelly shit. DELETED THEM FUUUUUCJDUCKFUUUCKKKKFUUUUUCK NOW I HAVE TO WRITE ALL OF THEM AGAIN ?! FUCK YOU FUUUUUUCKKK GO SUCK A BIG DICK FOR MAKING A FUCKING SYSTEM MECHANIC THIS FUCKING FRAGILE. WHAT THE FUUUUCK AND ITS SO HARD TO FUCKING GET THE PATHS RIGHT TOO. SHITSHISHIT AND I CAN FORMAT TO A NEW OS BUT IF ITS WINDOWS I NEED TO INSTALL EVERY DAMN BIT OF DRIVER AGAIN FUUUUUCK THIS MOTHER FUCKING SHIT
linux i'm sorry I was cheating on you with that piece of shit cheap whore. You are the right one for me. Even though If I need to work hours to make a software work on you l, when you work you work for good, not like this piece of shit that decides to delete important information out of nowhere.7
That moment after you have modified a lot of files so that the linter doesn't throw any errors... Only to realize you were missing the FUCKING BABEL CONFIGURATION FILE AND AFTER YOU ADD IT EVERYTHING WORKS JUST FUCKING FINE WITHOUT MODIFYING ALL THOSE EXTRA FILES!
Fuck I feel fucked up just for completing user account management, authentication, email verification, password reset. Securing all of this with ssl and checking for any security loopholes.
I can't believe this took me more than a couple months.
Well I was lazy and unmotivated.
I fucking hate crafting stupid ass routes in nginx.
I fucking hate making a nice responsive gui.
I have to design even the stupid html for the emails. Fuuuuck.
So much boilerplate on top of that with username and email validation.
I learnt regex 5 times over the past couple months, still not enough.
And now I actually have to build the functional part.
On the plus side I can reuse this stupid boilerplate if I can make it more modular and readable.
There's shit ton of comments to the point where I feel like an idiot for including so much info. It's like I've written it for a toddler to take over.
Gawd. Anyways it's over now. 50% I guess.
I can finish the rest of the server more quickly and then spend another year designing the Android application.
I'm really lazy in places where I have to design UI/UX. Although at this point it's kinda what could put my application at the top. (I'm lazy, I ain't bad.. I just hate implementing my ideas I wish I could just visualize and have it appear on my screen)
I do like parts of gui that involve little math problems that would make motion smooth and efficient.
Thank you Cloudflare for replacing my MX records with A's, so that I now don't have a working mailserver, but also subdomains linked to my 404 page! Cloudflare you are great, where can I terminate the contract? When I import the confirguration in my friend's nameservers, it works. When I import it in my domain registrars nameservers, it works. When I import it in the cloudflare's nameservers, everything fucks up and it makes freaking subdomains. And that bullshit even displays MX records on their DNS dashboard! FUUUUCK
I recently logged into my care provider's online services for the first time, to schedule a doctor's appointment.
The login form requested the usual: username and password - but also a birth date. Which their developers implemented with the default Android datepicker control.
Meaning I had to click 'back' 339 times to get to December 1989.
Many small things.
I just realized, my phone number contains 1337. 😁
Didn't for a very very long time.🤔
College asked if I killed someone for it. 😉
have a dead lg29ea monitor that I planed to repair.
It shows randomly coloured stripes on the screen and no picture.🤔
Thought it was the controller.
New controller arrived today after I snatched it on eBay.😀
It's not the controller.
Fuuuuck! Son of a didly
It took me 48 hours ( not continuously) to fix a bug by going through a cluster fuck code of multiple modules. Tracing the error through 5 or 6 layers. And u dont get error logs right away. You need to recreate that error and see the logs on a kubernetes pod. Just to find out the bug was a duplicate.
Yes jokes are on me. I fucked up by not checking for duplicate. I steered right away on that shit dipped bug like a hungry/zombie hound. Fuck me.
Fuuuuck!!! Why in the godamn hell I get so slow when developing with rails?!?!?!
It took me more than this day to finish a simple form in only front-fucking-end
!rant && load('epilogue');
So I saw my little brother yesterday and... Hell, I don't know. The addiction thing is less a thing that I expected, it's just that he can't find anything else to do than going on minecraft multiplayer servers and play, play, play. Gotta be honest, his life outside high school is pretty boring.
I mean, if I were him with this the few responsibilities, I'd be even worst than him, so how can I blame him?
Still, I had a big discussion with him where I tried to make him see what could go wrong if he fails (in a soft way), and helped him with french and english homeworks (french is our native language but a pain in the ass to learn 😁).
I do believe that saying all this "plz don't ruin your life this early plz" stuff had made him react, I just can't tell how deep and for how long. My main goal was to make sure that he won't feel helpless if he ever struggles for whatever reason.
However, since kids don't get shipped with a README.md, I just hope I did the right thing at the right time, and that he'll actually remember this discussion. But fuuuuck, he's 11 years old 😓😓
Side notes, I asked him about being a developer but it's pretty obvious that it was too early to speak with him about this. Might try again next year or the year after.
Thoughts ? I'll try to answee to you all2
My PC just stopped working and I can't figure out why. There's absolutely no feedback to pushing the power switch. I feel like I tried everything the internet recommends, made sure the button works (it does, and so do the connected pins on the MB), held it down for a minute with the PSU unplugged, shorted the power pins manually, re-plugged all the cables, changed the CMOS battery, tried turning it on with just one RAM stick at a time.
I'm out of ideas.12
My SSD decided to stop booting and sometimes not even being recognised by bios...
Ive tried to recover it with live-USB but every program freezes after finding the partitions. I had so many hours of work not pushed to git yet...5
Wasted 3 hrs on this today:
-Wanted to control pi gpio pins from php web server
-shell_exec(gpio write x x) wasnt working for me
-made a python script for gpio toggling which i wanted to execute with shell_exec
-still not working. Changed permissions, changed code , did everything possible SO MANY TIMES!
-Turns out if i had added a '-g' in the gpio write command..it would have worked in the first place!
I was never good copying in exams, so that seemed fine for me because what I get is what I know.
But now I'm not good in copy-pasting work from others... fuuuuck, these dudes are like "copy these, modify it, we want a working frontend mockup in 1 hour"
I fucking told you I'm a backend guy!!! NOT FRONTEND!1
Just started my first internship and I'm already freaking the fuck out so much new shit to get familiar with... good thing I don't run from such but fuuuuck me