I changed jobs 2 years ago and, coincidentally, I haven't written a single rant ever since. I wonder if there's a correlation between these two events 🤔

EFI on the desktop is a fucking monstrosity and a waste of time. Fuck you EFI.

Over the last few years I started to change my mind about Microsoft, thinking that now it's a different company, caring about its customers more than money, focusing on quality to wipe away their bad reputation.

But no, this week I was proven wrong. I had to use one of the Microsoft products (SharePoint) and all I have to say is: same old shit.

Slow, gives errors at random times, often does not save changes. The online editor has been completely broken for two days now. Never wasted so much time before on such a piece of crap.

Fuck you Microsoft, I guess it's not time for us to meet again.

https://dilbert.com/strip/...

Believe it or not, something like this *really* happened to me once: I was demoing a product to customers and my CEO stopped me when I was halfway through because he genuinely thought that what I was demoing did not exist.

How can a candidate have 10+ years or experience with C++ and let alone struggle with the most simple exercise!?

Thoughts from the inner me during an actual interview:

FOR FUCK SAKE, DUDE, PUT THAT "std::" IN FRONT OF YOUR "vector" AND IT WILL COMPILE!

USE ITERATORS GODDAMMIT INSTEAD OF THOSE FUCKING INDEXES. YOUR CODE IS FULL OF DAMN OVERFLOW ERRORS!

HAVE YOU EVER REALIZED THAT ARRAYS CAN BE EMPTY SOMETIMES?

I had a manager who was a complete incompetent idiot (other than a fucking backstabber). He left the company ~3 weeks ago, yet I believe it would take 5 years to get rid of his legacy.

Today I discovered that one of his "genius ideas" led to the loss of months of data. This is already bad, but it's even more upsetting given that the records that have been lost are exactly the ones I needed to prove the validity of my project.

That fucking man keeps fucking with me even when he's not here, YOU DAMN ASSHOLE!!

My manager is an idiot and a complete asshole.

Knowing that I was working on a solution for an important problem, he sent an email to our customers saying that the problem cannot be solved, and the customers need to take care of it themselves. He sent this email the evening before I was supposed to present my solution to everybody.

It's not the first time something like this happens, but this stupid individual RESIGNED ONE MONTH AGO. He's in notice period right now, and nonetheless he keeps fucking people like he used to do. WHY THE FUCK MANAGEMENT DOES NOT BLOCK HIS EMAIL!?

And here we are again... so many paths to choose from, so much uncertainty. And, as usual, the most interesting companies are the slowest to respond.

Constantly wondering what's the right thing to do, and neglecting my current job while I'm at it...

The joys of working remotely: you're on the toilet, happily dumping, with your phone in your hand. Suddenly you receive a message from your manager who wants to chat about something urgent.

How do I explain the reason why he has to wait a couple of minutes?

Mixing lazy loading with event-based code == events won't be handled because the class won't subscribe to events until it's initialized hours after startup

Thank you, my dear lazy-loading lover, who keeps introducing hard-to-spot bugs everywhere. I wish your hand was as lazy as your code, that would have saved hours of debugging time.

Long meeting with a coworker presenting a huge, complicated system to track changes to configuration files.

Basically, whenever someone needs to change a config file, this person is supposed to manually enter an entry to a changelog file, and the build system is supposed to give an error if the person forgets to update the changelog.

At the end of the 1 hour long presentation, I raise my hand and say: "we are already using git for our config files, look:

$ git log <filename>

here you can see the list of changes to the file. What you describe is already available, no need to reinvent it."

Long akward silence in the room.

The presenter: "okay, I will look into that. Any other questions?"

Haven't heard about that project since then.

One of our internal customers to my team: "We need this new feature to be implemented as soon as possible! It's super urgent!! Work on it asap!! PEOPLE ARE DYING!!"

Us: "Ok, we'll prioritize this feature and deliver it as soon as we can"

Them: "Is it ready yet?"

Them: "Is it ready yet?"

Them: "Is it ready yet?"

Them: "Is it ready yet?"

... One month later ...

Them: "Is it ready yet?"

Us: "We're done! We implemented everything as promised! Please give us your credentials so that we can whitelist you and you can start using the new service"

Them: "Okay, we will get back to you"

... Two months have passed since then and still not a single word from them. I'm starting to wonder: are they still alive? 🤔

Every single time I present a tool for data visualization:

"Oh that's great! Have you considered integrating it with service XYZ? It would be great to see the data from XYZ alongside this."

The answer I would like to give:

"No, you retard! Nobody gives a fuck about your crappy service! Nobody uses it, not even your own team! This is the 10th service that I've been asked to integrate and I don't have time to dig into the details of yet-another-shit. If you have time to waste, please go ahead but don't bother me."

Tired of hearing "our ML model has 51% accuracy! That's a big win!"

No, asshole, what you just built is a fucking random number generator, and a crappy one moreover.

You cannot do worse than 50%. If you had a binary classification model that was 10% accurate, that would be a win. You would just need to invert the output of the model, and you'd instantly get 90% accuracy.

50% accuracy is what you get by flipping coins. And you can achieve that with 1 line of code.

Real conversation:

Coworker: I'm trying to classify data based on X

Me: Mhh. Seems like a hard task, we don't have data to figure out X

Coworker: I know! That's why I thought about using machine learning!

Me: (Oh, boy)

Coworker: I'm working on training this ML model that will be able to classify based on X

Me: and what are the inputs for your training?

Coworker: The data classified based on X

Me: And where did you get that from?

Coworker: I don't have it! That will be the output of my ML model!

Me: But you just said that was the input!

Coworker: Yes

Me: Don't you see a contradiction here?

Coworker: Yes, it's a pretty complicated problem, that's why I'm stuck. Can you help me with that?

Me: (Looking at my watch) Sorry I'm late for a meeting. Catch up later, bye!

I'm starting to think that "Machine Learning" is the most unfortunate term that the industry has ever seen.

How people approach a problem here where I work: "I have a problem, I don't know how to solve it, I don't have any data. Let's implement a Machine Learning algorithm that will solve the problem for me."

Short horror story: a coworker of mine renamed a directory in the git repo from ABC to abc. All MacOS users found their repos completely broken after pulling the changes. They didn't know that Apple's crappy HFS+ filesystem was case-insensitive.

I have ~10 coworkers, and each of them wasted at least 1 hour manually fixing this problem. This is like not working for more than a day.

(I'm forced to use a Mac too, but I use an ext3 volume for repositories.)

I'm so fucking upset with this shitty iPhone. I can't believe there are people who are actually *paying* real money for this crap. Thankfully I am getting paid to use one, otherwise I would flush it in the toilet (but then even the toilet would reject it).

Since Google forced me to switch to the new Google News, I get only clickbaits and unrelevant stuff. Can anyone recommend me a news reader that lets me select sources and categories?

A question here reminded me of how websites were made long ago. Frames! Remember those little jewels? <frameset> and <iframe>, I still remember them. Man, even then it felt terribly wrong to use them. I remember using them to create web pages with header and side bar.

The only alternative was using <tables>, which, well, we know how they ended up. Frames today have been silently forgotten, but tables have been loudly hated for many years!

Ahhh, those were the times. So much has happened since then.

(Is "website" still a word today, btw?)

Please repeat after me:

"I will use 'Content-Disposition: attachment' whenever a file is supposed to be downloaded"

Write that sentence 100 times. Then re-read it every morning for at least one month.

Ahh, I don't even have the strength to rant. I'm so fucking tired of these shitty websites and web services. I should probably become an Amish.

Why do most Java programmers know Java and nothing else? Wtf, every time find myself reviewing crappy Bash/Python/JavaScript/Ruby shit written by Java-only programmers I want to puke. Don't you know that the world is bigger than your small island?

DO NOT USE JAVASCRIPT FOR PUBLIC WEBSITES IF YOU DON'T KNOW HOW TO USE IT!!!

Almost every fucking day, I click a fucking button and NOTHING HAPPENS. I open the console and find tens of JavaScript errors, that *I* have to debug and fix in order to proceed.

FUR FUCK SAKE, JavaScript is not strictly needed, those fucking React and Vue are also not needed. Just now I wanted to download a form: IT'S A FUCKING PDF FILE, why the fuck are you putting your broken JavaScript function to let me download it!? PUT A FUCKING DOWNLOAD LINK YOU FUCKING MORON!

Nobody is forcing anybody to use JavaScript or those fucking fancy frameworks, SO WHY THE FUCK PEOPLE OVERCOMPLICATE THINGS THAT USED TO WORK SO WELL!

I hate those fucking websites that reject Mailinator email addresses (including alternative domains).

The other day I was so pissed off that I went on Freenom.com, registered a bunch of free domain names, and pointed their MX record to mail.mailinator.com.

Now those fucking dumb websites don't block me anymore.

I want to live into Dilbert's universe

/* MacOS source code
Copyright Snapple, Inc
Private and confidential */

void resumeFromSleep() {
if (rand() > RAND_MAX / 2) {
freezeSystem();
} else {
reallyResumeFromSleep();
}
}

I've been a Python user and contributor for 10+ years. Somehow, after seeing so many fights on the Python mailing lists in the past few months, I have mixed feelings about the language itself.

The binary on my laptop is still the same, but using it feels different.

Reported an important security vulnerability inside our organization, right before getting off work. A security team member contacts me over chat asking for some details on my investigation. At the end, he tells me: "thanks, I will copy and paste this conversation on the ticket so that everyone can see".

What I imagined: he would copy and paste the conversation as is, so that every line written by me is prefixed with my name.

What he does: he writes a summary of our conversation, barely mentioning my name, making it look like that part of the investigation was done by him.

Now I have so much anger inside of me that my internal organs are boiling.

- Rooted phone
- Blocked certain apps from obtaining permissions
- Blocked apps from preventing taking screenshots
- Hid the annoying Google search bar
- Installed Debian/Ubuntu in a chroot inside the phone
- Installed vim, git and more inside the chroot

Ahhh, feels so good

Corporate culture in a nutshell: these are the team goals, work on your tasks and switch your brain off.