Hey, i want to make a game and i need some help, so I'm looking for a team.

What i need is:
2 programmers
3 graphics artists
2 level designers
1 music composer
2 dialog writers
1 web designer for page and forums
5 testers

What i will do, you ask? Well, I've got some really good ideas. I think the game should be like Final Fantasy, but bigger and better. I worked with RPG Maker for two months, but I'm best with ideas. I think my ideas would make some incred...

GO SHOVE YOUR IDEAS INTO YOUR ASS! The idea means nothing. I got an idea for the best game ever, right this morning while i was taking a SHIT!

Hobby teams need people who create content. And people who can do stuff will more likely work with someone who does stuff as well and has proven that he is able to get things done.

"Coding is solving puzzles".

I think everyone has heard that platitude. But it's not exactly right.

So I grew up in a very poor environment, a moldy building full of jobless addicts.

And in my town there was this shop where super poor parents could take their kids to borrow free toys and stuff.

So as a kid I remember being frustrated by these second hand jigsaw puzzles, because there were always a few pieces which had been teared up or chewed on, or were even completely missing.

That is what development is.

You pull in this seemingly awesome composer package, and that one super useful method is declared private, so you need to fork the whole thing.

Your coworker has built this great microservice in python, but instead of returning 404 not found, it returns 200 with json key/value saying "error": "not found".

There's a shitload of nicely designed templates for the company website, but half of them have container divs inside the components, the other half expect to be wrapped in container divs when included.

You're solving puzzles, but your peers are all brainless jigsaw-piece-chewers. They tried to mend a problem, but half way through got distracted, hungry and angry, started drooling over the task and used a hammer to fit in the remaining stuff.

Me to wordpress "developer"

- No, you are not a developer, you just drag and drop shit in visual composer

That felt good

Corporate proxies that block resources web developers can't work without are the worst, preventing npm and composer from working at all. Easier to work from home than at work.

The security blog is up again, I fixed the bug.

Just wondering, why did it work in the first place? I simply required a composer autoloader twice but I've been doing that from the beginning and it didn't play up until last night...

I guess it shall remain a mistery 😞

Hello there, just couple of words about PHP. I've been develop on PHP more than 10 years, I've seen it all 3,4,5,{6},7. Yes PHP was not good in terms of engineering and patterns, but it was simple, it was the most simple language for web to start those days. It was simple as you put code into file, upload it via FTP and it works. No java servlets, no unix consoles, no nothing, just shared hosting account was enough to host site, or even application with database. As database everybody used to have mysql, again because its simple to start and easy to maintain. So PHP+MySQL became industry standard on Web during 00-2012, and continues in some way.
You can write HTML and logic inside single file, within php code, even more single file may content few pages, or even kind of framework. That simplicity and agility sticks everybody who wants to develop sites with PHP.
This is pretty much about why it is so popular.

Each good or wannabe PHP developer in an early days write its own framework or library (like in javascript this days because of nodejs)

Imagine that PHP has hadn't have package manager, developers used to have host packages on their own sites, then various packages catalog sites created, and then finally composer. A gazillions of php code had spread over internet, without any kind of dependency control. To include libraries to your projects you have to just write include, or require. Some developers do it better than others.

So what we have ? A lots of code, no repositories, zip archives with libraries, no dependency control.
Project that uses that kind of code are still alive even today, they are solid hose of cards, and unmaintainable of course.

And main question that I'm trying to answer is Why PHP is not good ?
- First is amount of legacy code which people copy and pasted into their project, spread it even more like a virus.
- Lack of industry standards at the beginning lead to a lots of bad practices among developers. PHP code usually smells.
open source php projects in early days was developed in same conditions so even in phpbb, phpnuke, wordpress, drupal used to have a lot of bad practices in their codebase. So php developers usually not study by another library, instead they write their own frameworks/libraries.
- "It works", - there are no strong business demands, on web development, again because lack of standards, and concerns.
This three things are basically same, they linked to each other and summarize of answer of why PHP have strong smells and everybody yelling against it.

Whats is with PHP nowadays ? Of course PHP today is more influenced by good practice of webdev. Composer, Zend, Laravel, Yii, Symphony and language it self became more adult so to say, but developers...

People who never tried anything except PHP are usually weaker in programming and ecosystem knowledge than people who tried something else, python, perl, ruby, c for instance.

Summary

PHP as any other programming language is a tool. Each tool has its own task. Consider this and your task requirements and PHP can be just good enough solution.
"PHP is shit" - usually you heard that from people who never write strong applications on PHP and haven't used any good tools like Symphony or Laravel.
Cheap developers, - the bigger community, the more chance to hire cheap developers, and more chance to get bad code. That can be applied on any other language.
PHP has professionals developers, usually they have not only php on scope.

That's all folks, this is very brief, I am not covering php usage early days in details, but this is good enough to understand the point.

Enjoy.

At Uni, I went from being the only programmer, to the programmer, designer, scene builder, main script writer, minigame designer, project manager, music composer, UI designer and fucking everything else.

We had a team of 4 people. The artist was great and dedicated, the production person was motivated, but lacked any technical skills and my useless fuckwit of a friend wrote literally 3, 2 note midi sound effects in 6 fucking weeks.

Thank fucking god the coordinator and a mate of mine who we got to do the animations, saw the amount I had carried and both led me to getting 2 jobs in the industry right after graduating.

Uploading something to a server through SCP and copying the composer libs along instead of installing them server side.

Please don't kill me 😅

Me: *Runs composer install on workstation then reads manga on phone*
Terminal: DO NOT RUN COMPOSER AS ROOT/SUPER USER
Me: *glances at computer screen, sees the words run and super user. Ctrl + C. type in, sudo composer install*
5 mins later
Me: *facepalm*

Really, I hate this composer / bower / npm shitholes!

Why the hell is my app 300MBs?!? Because that shitty pudding composer decided to download the ENTIRE git including README.md, examples, 5 hours of assembly-giraffe porn, my granny's pajamas and two wraps of kebabs!

How hard is it to define the folder that contains the REQUIRED library so that our project might stay at 5MBs instead of 300?

Those SEO guys that believe they are some kind of web Gods for building a real crap over WP with a $50 theme and fucking Visual Composer (the most fucked up piece of shit ever) and then ask you to just "optimize" their bloated site so they can get a great score on PageSpeed Insights.

NO.

No way I'm gonna put my hands on that *thing*.

PM: hows the android app going?
Android Dev: gradle downloading... blocked by network admin.

PM: anyway how is the iOS app going?
iOS Dev: cocoapods downloading... blocked by network admin.

PM: ... i guess the only thing running now is the web admin right?
Laravel/VueJS Dev: composer nodejs/npm/yarn downloading... blocked by network admin.

PM: team lets retest the api endponts
Team: Postman downloading... blocked by network admin.
Team: -_- Insomnia REST Client downloading... blocked by network admin.

PM: code study?
Team: even visual studio code/android studio/xcode is blocked. :(

.... sad dev life

anyone here with the same problem?

Wordpress does not suck. If you know how to work it.

Past period I saw so many rants on WP. My rant is that it is not 100% WP fault. Yes there are seriously structural problems in WP but that does not mean you cannot create top-notch websites.

At my work we create those top-notch WP sites. Blazing fast and manageable. Seriously we got a customer request to make the site slower because it loaded pages to fast (ea; you hardly could see you switched pages).

- We ONLY use a strict set of plugins that we think are stable, useful.
- We have everything in composer (and our own Satis) for plugins.
- We use custom themes & classes. Our code is MVC with Twig.
- In our track history we have 0 hacked websites for the past 2 years.
- Everything runs stable 24/7
- We have OTAP (testing, acceptance & production environments)
- We patch really fast

These are sites going from $15k++ and we know our shit.

Don't hate on WP if you have no clue what you are doing yourself.

That is my rant.

I have just started out on Linux (Ubuntu because I don't know anything (please don't judge me (you're not judging me right?))) and I don't know anything aside from Linux relies on Terminal a lot. The tools are already installed (VSCode, git, etc.) and everything dark-themed. Is there anything I should have in your opinion, and where should I start?

!rant
I've just lost my grandfather last Friday from liver and gallbladder failure. Him being a composer and a musician impacted me a lot as a pianist try-hard. I regret I prioritized my studying for college over him and only visited him twice. But he saw my performance from my parents (they recorded it) and he complimented it, so it's more than enough for me. Rest in peace gramp, and thank you.

I'll admit - I come from a WordPress background of almost 9 years in the making. I guess I can justify it because of all of the sites I created using it, it was the best that it could be on WP. Fast, efficient, custom - none of that off-the-shelf themeforest crap. I created everything custom. I actually knew what was going on behind the scenes of WP.

And then a buddy of mine and I had an idea for a new company/software project. I was smart enough to know that WP was not the foundation for this, so I did some NodeJS/Express tutorials. Started learning React, and really getting into the Javascript world.

And now I'm wondering WHY IN THE ABSOLUTE FUCK I ever bothered trying to become an expert in WP. It's the largest use of PHP in the fucking world and it doesn't even have native composer support. And by the time you actually get your project set up using composer you have to add a fucking mirror of the wordpress.org plugin repo to get anything to work. It's 2018 and you'd think that WP and composer would have all of this shit figured out by now.

And don't get me started on git - as soon as you have more than 1 person working on a WP site, I hope you have hourly backups of your DB because someones work will get overwritten. So you all either need to work on the same staging area of work around each other by pushing/pulling the DB and schedule your workflows.

I guess WP CLI and the REST API are a step in the right direction, but the foundation of everything is just so fucked up.

I don't feel like I've wasted my web dev career, but I definitely wish I had started down this path a lot earlier. I guess you don't know what you don't know. Thanks for reading!

Today's Google Doodle.

Check it out its awesome

Wow, after 4 years of working with PHP, and now working with NodeJS and ASP Core, I gotta admit that PHP is pure shit.
It's really awesome to see the documentation provided for NodeJs and ASPCore.
75% of PHP documentation isunreadable crap. Every fucking variable starts with a fucking dollar sign, wtf! How unpleasant is to read that. And holy mother of god, why concatenate with a dot ? We all know "+" means "add, aggregate, etc". PHP is unreadable as fuck. Fuck laravel, fuck Yii, fuck Composer.

Seriously guy, move to NodeJs or AspCore. Both of them are pretty good.

Send over the entire directory for a WordPress site we completely overhauled with new plugins, custom theme, redid content with visual composer, etc. I tell him to backup his site and then put everything I give you as fresh. He tells me he can't just wipe out his entire site that's unacceptable. I ask him what's the problem? he rambles on and says a lot of words that don't really mean anything then says security. so I call him out on it, what security issues do you have? well we have users and permissions setup he says. I explain That I copied his users table over when we did the redesign, so it's the exact same stuff. so I say again, why can't we just replace everything? well that's just not acceptable he says. I ask him again, what EXACTLY is your problem with replacing the site since I already addressed your security concern. he couldn't answer me so now we have another conference call tomorrow morning with more people from their team. I'll let you know how it goes.

tldr; clients are idiots, call them out for the dumb shit they say and have no response.

When you ctrl+s a jdfiddle, codepen, gmail composer, facebook post and the annoying save page as comes out

I have been around in awhile because I’ve been learning PHP/laravel. Holy shit has PHP changed. Composer, Valet, Laravel, and Brew makes life so much easier. I used to talk shot about PHP but it’s now my new favorite language. PHP7 is fantastic.

The worst architecture I've seen is WordPress.
How can you be so drunk to design such a filthy mess?
In some way PHP might be to blame. Its API is a fucking mess as well and may have stirred WP developers in this puke around so they couldn't come up with a better CMS architecture.
Don't get me wrong. I do love PHP. But only in it's OO form with namespaces and type hints and composer dependencies.

I've seen enough of PHP functional programming and it still haunts me.

More like a sub company/department inside a company: Android.

I still use it as my main driver, but every time I try to get back into development with it(did it professionally for 2 years nearing on 3 and was a lead Android dev, mind you not necessarily by merit....) I end up hating everything about it.

The tooling is meh, the API is hideous and even with the addition of Kotlin, which I do find a nicer language over Java I still dislike it. The ammount of shit needed to make something as simple as store data, manage fragments, integrate with the NDK, make JSON API calls or even shake motions is just ludicrous and counter intuitive. I can see why people would hate Java based on Android, a language that I generally love and defend.
I firmly believe that people extend frameworks or tooling for 2 reasons only:

1 the stack is so awesome that you just want to create packages and libraries to extend the functionality of a powerful environment, like gems for Ruby, python packages, Node packages, php composer, nuget etc

2 the stack is so fucking hideous that people need to fix shit: the entire android square utility framework, butterknife, flutter, react native, codenameone, etc etc

The case with Android is the second. I have not met a professional Android developer that completely likes everything about Android, but will seldom find people that HATE other frameworks or environments.

Android it is for me. Still my daily driver and I love every Android phone I have ever owned. It just makes me feel lots of more compassion for fellow Android devs.

Everything's working fine. Did:
"sudo composer update"

and now the api page says:
"Invalid Argument Exception"

FUCK COMPOSER SERIOUSLY WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT

FUCK COMPOSER

Warning: w-rated for "wordpress", s-rated for "stupidity"

Yesterday in the morning I receive an E-Mail from a designer guy that we should update a plugin in a client's WP because their visual composer in the backend doesn't seem to work anymore.
My boss confirms the task. I'm fucked.
The anger in me rises.

So I try the Wordpress login, it works. I create a backup with Duplicator and run it locally. 2 hours later I found a solution so I want to upload the files to Abominationpress.
BUT THE FUCKING FTP LOGIN DOES NOT WORK...
I write him back asking for the correct login data. 24 hours later he writes me back the exact same username and password.
THANK YOU YOU LOBOTOMIZED BRAIN-AMPUTATED IDIOT.
It already gave me cancerherpes when he mentioned WP, but this shit is just fucking too much.
Now waiting for the response.

Building a website using Wordpress and Visual Composer for a client is pretty easy, right?!

Until the clients wants to change one of the icons to sofa “you can’t use image, and visual composer has a list of only 5 icon libraries and none of them has a fucking sofa icon”.

Manager says just do it today!
Ok no problem.. just had to figure how visual composer communicate with the libraries to show them in the module area, edit the function, create the font/svg files for the new icon, edit the css file of one of the libraries to add the icon. And boom its working fine!

No tutorial about this stuff so had to figure it out by reading the code and see how they did it so I can do it.

After finishing this, they just gave me few more changes as I have done nothing.

Thank you

I have a co-worker who due to a variety of circumstances (mostly manipulation and luck) has become head of the development team. He's introduced many great changes like autoloading (PHP) and so likes progress which is great.

What's not great is he's completely childish and will fight to reject any change that doesn't come from him. Me and 2 other developers (with another one neutral / on the fence) tried to introduce Composer and he just sat there spreading FUD like Composer breaks $PATH.

The person complaining loudest about how terrible development is at my company, the person who threatens to quit on a weekly basis, is the one fighting literally any improvement.

Did I mention he's in charge?

I need a drink.

Let me preface this by saying that I am in no way an experienced Web developer. I've been learning it in my spare time for a little over a year and this is my first job in the industry.

So, I'm working with a client who's a friend of the boss. He's had a developer friend of his build him a WordPress site (using fucking Visual Composer no less but that's not important).

He's asked us to host it on AWS, which took this 'developer' to have to use a cloning software to move across. I had to access the server myself to set this up, which was fine but considering I gave him the .ppk and .pem he needs to ssh into it. He then says the file permissions aren't right. So again, I say he can ssh and change that. He says nope and makes me do it. So I do it. I give him IN DEPTH instructions on how to do it. He says it isn't working, he can't change the hyperlinks. He's had to quote unquote "bypass the database to change the config file". That was this morning. I'm trying to be as civil as I can with this guy, considering he's a Certified Apple Instructor and Educator, yet he clearly doesn't understand ssh or ftp for that matter.

We're not getting paid for the work by the way.

When you node_modules (npm) and vendors (composer) folders account for 80% of your codebase size ...

Published a package on packagist and checking install count every few hours.

Not using php composer because I don't know what hocus pocus that thing does.

I've seen a lot of shitty code. REALLY shitty code...but this. Calling this shitty would be a compliment, so I'm not sure what to call it. The following is copied straight from his source code, which I'm tasked with finding a production logic bug in. The original composer of this masterpiece of one-line clusterfucks is no longer with the company of course, so his pile of shit is now my problem. The program is littered with stuff like this.

if(((FrontLowerLeft.X > tempPack.FrontLowerLeft.X && FrontLowerLeft.X < tempPack.FrontLowerLeft.X + tempPack.Dimensions.Width) || (FrontLowerLeft.X + Dimensions.Width > tempPack.FrontLowerLeft.X && FrontLowerLeft.X + Dimensions.Width < tempPack.FrontLowerLeft.X + tempPack.Dimensions.Width) || (tempPack.FrontLowerLeft.X > FrontLowerLeft.X && tempPack.FrontLowerLeft.X < FrontLowerLeft.X + Dimensions.Width) || (tempPack.FrontLowerLeft.X + tempPack.Dimensions.Width > FrontLowerLeft.X && tempPack.FrontLowerLeft.X + tempPack.Dimensions.Width < FrontLowerLeft.X + Dimensions.Width) || (tempPack.FrontLowerLeft.X == FrontLowerLeft.X && tempPack.Dimensions.Width == Dimensions.Width)) && ((FrontLowerLeft.Y > tempPack.FrontLowerLeft.Y && FrontLowerLeft.Y < tempPack.FrontLowerLeft.Y + tempPack.Dimensions.Height) || (FrontLowerLeft.Y + Dimensions.Height > tempPack.FrontLowerLeft.Y && FrontLowerLeft.Y + Dimensions.Height < tempPack.FrontLowerLeft.Y + tempPack.Dimensions.Height) || (tempPack.FrontLowerLeft.Y > FrontLowerLeft.Y && tempPack.FrontLowerLeft.Y < FrontLowerLeft.Y + Dimensions.Height) || (tempPack.FrontLowerLeft.Y + tempPack.Dimensions.Height > FrontLowerLeft.Y && tempPack.FrontLowerLeft.Y + tempPack.Dimensions.Height < FrontLowerLeft.Y + Dimensions.Height) || (tempPack.FrontLowerLeft.Y == FrontLowerLeft.Y && tempPack.Dimensions.Height == Dimensions.Height)) && ((FrontLowerLeft.Z > tempPack.FrontLowerLeft.Z && FrontLowerLeft.Z < tempPack.FrontLowerLeft.Z + tempPack.Dimensions.Depth) || (FrontLowerLeft.Z + Dimensions.Depth > tempPack.FrontLowerLeft.Z && FrontLowerLeft.Z + Dimensions.Depth < tempPack.FrontLowerLeft.Z + tempPack.Dimensions.Depth) || (tempPack.FrontLowerLeft.Z > FrontLowerLeft.Z && tempPack.FrontLowerLeft.Z < FrontLowerLeft.Z + Dimensions.Depth) || (tempPack.FrontLowerLeft.Z + tempPack.Dimensions.Depth > FrontLowerLeft.Z && tempPack.FrontLowerLeft.Z + tempPack.Dimensions.Depth < FrontLowerLeft.Z + Dimensions.Depth) || (tempPack.FrontLowerLeft.Z == FrontLowerLeft.Z && tempPack.Dimensions.Depth == Dimensions.Depth)))
{
//code that did stuff
//removed for "clarity"
}

Before I realized what a Vagrant Box was, I thought everyone was talking about cardboard boxes for homeless people.

So there I am thinking everyone was talking about homeless people and I finally understand that it's a service for quickly deploying VMs for local development when I get invited to a party after a convention with my hosting company and I look over the rail and see a vagrant man asleep on a cardboard box.

Damn frontend crap.

The fact that you have to mask all of the disease with processable versions of css, html & js is bad enough, but there are like 6 dialects of each bandaid, and every project has traces of each.

The the design kid tells me to run this grunt script, frontender number two screams "no, dont use grunt, we use gulp! or was it bower? I guess just run it through yeoman, it's easy!", after which the third fucking shitty hipster yells "No that's outdated, just edit the webpack file, and then run yarn install... oh but run npm upgrade --global yarn first"

Did you just fucking tell me to upgrade a fucking package manager with another package manager?

Composer, gem or cargo are not always without problems. But at least us backenders have our fucking shit together. The worst we have to deal with is choosing Python 2 vs 3, or porting some old code so the server can migrate to PHP7.

The next person to tell me they found this awesome tool to manage his other tools... I'll fucking throw your latte all over your wacom tablet.

I once thought that developing on WordPress was cool and easy. Now I see that it's a total abomination.

No more WordPress job for me. I'm gtfo.

In the middle of a going on 35 minute docker composer and npm build when my wife's Pomeranian pulls the cord out of the wall. I smile and softly put it out in the backyard to wonder into the miles of woods. Maybe it will make friends with our coyotes.

composer self-update
....
SHIT I MEANT
sudo composer self-update

Fluck composer, it slow like fluckin snail 🐌

Modifying a depracated wordpress theme with visual composer does not make you a developer. Doing so does not give you the authority to scope development projects. it just sets everyone up for a really awkward, potentially insulting, conversation.

So everytime I get tired at work I always run 'composer update' so I have an excuse for doing nothing.

"Heyy get back to work!"
"I'm running composer update"
"Okay."

I work in a place where I don't have ssh access to the web server. No proper use of composer. I have to pull packages to my local machine and upload through ftp.

PATIENCE!

When you have a slow internet connection and you need to composer update/npm install.

Not sure if it's the worst code review but it's a recent one.

We don't really do code reviews where I work unfortunately but my coworker used my framework for the first time (build some nice composer libraries for cmdline projects) and asked if I could make them do autoloading.
He never used namespaces before so I was glad to help him out.

What I saw was a dreadful mess. His project was called "scripts" so good luck picking a namespace...

Than it was all lose functions in the executable file. All those functions are however called by a class in another file (if they where not calling eachother as a cascading mess). That class was extending an abstract class from my library as instructed. However I never imagined my lib being raped like that.

The functions themselves are a horrible mess. Nothing uniform completely different style (our documentation states PSR's should be used).
Parameters counts higher than 5.
Variable names like Object and Dobject (in calling function Dobject is Object but it needs a fresh one.

If statements on parameters that need basically split it in two (should simply be to functions)
If else statement with return of same variable as a single line (sane people use ternary for that)

Note that I said functions. All of it should have been OO and methods. Would have saved at least some of the parameter hell.

I could go on and on. Do I think the programmer is bad yes (does not even grasp interfaces, dep injection, foreach loops). Is this his best work no. He said that for a one of script like this it just has to work. Not going to be used elsewhere. I disagree as it is a few thousand lines of code that others have to read too.

I have officially decided to use CI (Jenkins) at work because "apt-get update && apt-get upgrade -y && composer self-update && composer update && npm update -g && npm update && bower install --allow-root && gulp" after a pull doesn't seem healthy 😂

Silverstripe ladies and gentlemen.

Wooh! I finally have some work, I'm now the composer for a small dev team, unpayed of course, but this is a fangame, a passion project. I'm so happy!

For : Web devs, especially corporate website developers. (home, about, services, contact pages with content update features, bla bla)

Question : Is there an open sourced PHP solution between Wordpress and Laravel?

Reasons
- I do not want full framework like laravel for such simple website.
- Laravel is too much and heavy for standard corporate websites and not all clients can afford ssh-enabled servers.
- I do not want full CMS features like plugins, themes, etc from Wordpress.
- Wordpress themeing is not super difficult but also not as simple as Laravel's blades.
- I also don't wanna go static since the content update needs to be dynamic.
- I am willing to write own templates, CRUDs in minimal approach just for specific parts based on clients requirements.
- I want something that can easily host on shared hosting. (do not have to worry about composer and ssh)

Any thought?

When packagist is not available you notice how much you rely on it 🙃

How to run PHP in a container :
1. Begin a docker file for an existing php cron app (when all you know is php, everything looks like a php app)
2. Set the FROM.. Apt get update .. Do composer install
3. Builds the image
4. Discover I need git
5. Add git to apt get install step
6. Builds the image
7. Launch the php script
8. Fatal : use of undefined constant SOL_UDP
9. Opens the source code of the third party. The there's no mention of where that constant is from.
10. Spend many minutes online to find what's missing.
11. Find the PHP sockets page about that option. Digs into the documentation to find out that's missing from the installed PHP.
12. Find out I need to add a step to install the socket extension in my docker file.
13. Build the image again
14. Execute it, finally it works
15. Remember why I hate php
(for brevity I've omitted the even more complex part of having to set up zlib)

How to install node js in a container image:
FROM node:8
ADD package.json
RUN npm install

"you're the type of person that brings a chair to a stand up meeting".

No sir, you are incorrect.
I'm the type of person that creates a composer.json at the root of your node project to fuck with you

Been handed my first job as a developer for a small company, it's untangling, fixing and upgrading a WordPress site created with Visual Composer with no access to any form of file system.

And no I'm not allowed to remake it from scratch.

Use ‘composer install’ instead of ‘update’

I currently work in a php shop where 90% of the devs don't know composer. #drupalFTW

IF YOU WANT MULTIPLE COMPOSER FILES PER ENVIRONMENT AND NO LOCK FILE YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW COMPOSER WORKS!

when i was still studying "web integrator", didnt know shit about programming and just went there to be with a friend.
I quickly got bored, sick and tired of it all being procedural style so i decided there must be something better...
i spend loads of time but eventually developed my own almost fully fledged oop framework, minus polymorphic relationship support, events( i was on the way to that but called it messageBus ),
implicit route bindings
and the routing was based on reflection of controller methods following rest naming.
also i hadnt discovered composer, yet.

by the time i discovered composers, i also discovered laravel, which is my now prefered framework.. :)

Yes WP sites can be bad.
But as bad as it can be, just as easy it can serve as a good kickstarter for the next website.

If just the developer behind said website has some kind of dignity about the code they produce and respect for their fucking job!

1. Don't use bloated plugins.
2. Always vheck out alternatives.
3. Don't ever use paid plugins/themes... just don't.

I for one, whenever installing a plugin, if said plugin generates any kind of unexpected output such as a notice it's an immidiate uninstall, and then rolling my own.

I also use a bare minimum boilerplate theme which does not bundle any frameworks, additional libaries or other kinds of that bloatware for all my wp sites, this ensures that every site is somewhay unique.

I've seen so many "devs" being lazy as fuck, using the wrong themes/plugins to "code" the site.

No! using page builders such as visual composer or bloatware slideshows does not count as good tools.

If you buy a theme from themeforest thinking it will save you hours of custom development, then fuck you... go drown in acid.. because guess fucking what?
It will save you absolutely jack shit in the long run..
Anything stating otherwhise is marketing bullcrap

Duck! this sloppy whiny winnfsd.

Yay! Let's use state of the art Docker with a VirtualBox VM on Windows10.

Don't get me wrong.
The Docker containers in this VM doing a great job on performance.

But in the very moment a Docker container uses a mounted folder via the windows network filesystem, all hell is breaking loose.

Building a vendor folder using a composer Docker image with 84 Packages takes about 15 seconds when cache has been warmed up.

The same Docker command pointing on a folder mounted to Windows Filesystem with warmed up cache takes about 10 Minutes!@&&@""+&

And what is the duckin' reason for this delay?
Because every transfer of a teeny tiny file has to establish a connection to fat ass Windows OS and has to pass it's glorious "security" layer.

DUCK it!
For real.

I currently working on a shell script which builds the whole vendor folder on a volume on Docker VM.
After completion, the shell script will compress the folder to one file.
This one file will be transferred over this god damned network filesystem.
Finally the script will unpack the compressed vendor folder in it's destination folder.

*sigh*
What year is it?!??

composer update = time for devRant

```
composer create-project symfony/website-skeleton symfony
```

Prefetching 60 packages

(wtf)

Question about permission in `docker-compose`

So far, I've usually used vagrant for local dev. It was nice, as I was able to specify `wack:wack` as owner of all files. However with docker compose, if I connect with exec and use `/bin/bash` I'm logged in as `root`. When I then run composer, it kind of fucks with the file permissions, as after it all new files are owned by root and thus can't be edited with an ide on the "host" system.

One hack that I found suggested creating an user and a group with same uid as on the host and use that instead of root. This just doesn't sound right to me. Any advice on how to handle this situation?

After hours of pulling hair & feeling like being f*cked up in the ass:

"Application ready! Build something amazing."

Composer dependency not found

Composer.json require sendgrid

Composer adds wrong directions to file, fine I'll hard code it.

Composer is deriving file path.

Fine I'll edit 4 files.

Composer is escaping hard path

Change global variables

Composer is still adding its own directory before hard path.

Follow azure and sendgrid documentation to the letter, composer puts wrong way round slashes in file path.

Gives up on 57th server 500 error

Sometimes azure gets me down in its implementation of things....

Each time I have many dependencies in the project

All of these dependency management tools supposed to make my life easier?!?! I have been looking for half an hour for how to simply downgrade a package to an older version I must be plain retarded

So I just became responsible for the project which was written 5 years ago with PHP and Yii... and no composer (package manager).

Are you fucking kidding me?

I hate when I have to add other people's code into a commit as they haven't made their module available on packagist so I couldn't use composer and it makes my deployment fail

Tried to learn Laravel using some video lessons. The first time I tried installing Homebrew, Vagrant crashed. The second time, Composer was down. I spent a day to configure it. And we front-end people still complain about wasting time with tooling.

I was working in a voyager's project in my office, my CTO sent me an sql script to import a basic DB and when I run the project and I try to access to localhost/admin, ¡boom!, amazing exception.

I forgot type composer install in the project XD I felt very noob in that moment

I had to use visual composer and slider revolution today, and I feel I don't know how to build websites anymore.

Today, my co-workers went nuts about the fact their version of our product doesn't work on the pre-production since everything is fine on their local dev machines ^^

After a quick sighting, I figured out what was going on.
There was a package called from non-dev code which was required as a package for development.

The build plan of the application consists of a task which purges dev-packages within the vendor folder, using composer install --no-dev ^^

So the build plan runs perfectly fine, without a single error, but runtime was yelling about a missing class.

It's a delight to be one of the only guys with dev-ops experience in the whole damn building.

xD

that moment when your internal repos are managed in composer and you have the `require` block set, but some fuckwit decided not to define their git remotes in the repositories, because 'thry are used only in applications where all required components are set'... Fuck your fucking fuck of a brain you fuck turd...

Meanwhile in a parallel universe composer update runs faster than the speed at which universe expands.

It normally starts with installing a new framework, either via composer or npm, then several hours of reading documentation, before giving up for the day. I think to myself I'll pick that up again later...

The good thing is I always learn something from it I can use in other projects.

You know your internet is bad when it takes 2 hours to successfully run composer update.

"- Hello I work on this shitty Drupal project where the vendor directory is gitted, and we can't use composer becauses it returns error [note: i wish this was a joke]. So I installed a module that won't work, because it needs a depency. I installed it but it still doesn't work
- You need to edit your autoloader
- Ok, what do I put in it?
- Idk, you're not supposed to do it, and let composer do it for you"

Did I ever tell you how the Drupal stack exchange will one day make me turn into a serial killer?

with slow wifi, composer update tooks forever 😬

composer require this,
composer require that,
anddddddd it's time for bed.

I notice that a necessary fix means adding a single isolated library to composer.json for a large legacy application...

Me: 😬
Me: 🙏
Me: <composer update>

composer.lock: +789/-435 lines changed. 😵

Yep, everything is broken. There goes my week.

A lifetime spent waiting for Composer update to finish

PHP: Laravel, Phalcon, Composer
JavaScript: Node.js, Express.js, Restify, Sequelize, AngularJS, React, npm, bower
Python: Django, Flask, Requests, pip, SQLAlchemy
Java: Spring, Dropwizard, Hibernate
DB: MySQL, MariaDB, PostgreSQL, Cassandra

When the documentation suggests you use composer to install swiftmailer so I can use sendgrid.

Even though I can install composer as an extension and sendgrid is integrated within the portal it's down to me to work out the azure cli or is it a powershell cli or is it bash?

Echo gives kudu error, oh well if there's kudu why am I using composer?

Grrr azure you don't make it easy.

we hired a new front end dev and she made her first commit.... and then some more... a week later I see that she had somehow deleted the .gitignore file and so all the composer files among other things were now in the branch. had to go back and fix that quick lol

Anyone used Hyperledger? Can one install the composer on a different OS from Ubuntu or mac?

Wanted to go out and grab a smoke, stuck in composer update and crappy internet

Wake me up when composer create-project laravel/laravel app --prefer-dist

Just heard someone saying it's bad security practise to have composer and git on production server for deployments.... did I miss the memo?

I finally configured my VPS. (haven't used linux before that)
Now when I installed my laravel 5.2 project and wanted to use composer to get all the dependencies I came across an deprecated dependency. So now I'll either do a quick fix and update the dependency or upgrade to laravel 5.3. The second option is obviously better but takes more time. If only someone else could do this shit for me and I'd just be busy writing code. : /

I just helped my friend setting up Laravel on her machine. The npm is giving me headache because of the fucking permission issue. WHY THE FUCK chmod DOESN'T WORK ON WINDOWS IF POWERSHELL RECOGNIZE THE COMMAND?? Then composer says that it cannot find the autoload.php. I thought it was another permission issue end up it's because composer fuck up installing on Windows. Wasted 2 hours for this shit.

Oh and the default language she uses is French. The keyboard layout is entirely different. French is totally awesome but the typos in command is getting really annoying. :(

I'm not saying Windows is bad for general use but I think it's a bad idea for developing non-Microsoft product on Windows. I don't understand how can one bear with so much shit on Windows. Most dev tools tutorials are written in Unix system so fucking get a Mac or Linux at least!

The moment when composer update fails, because there isn't enough ram available

//fml

Man I love composer, I really do, but sometimes, I wish it would just bloody download and load in the extensions for PHP for me... I know, I'm the laziest dev around, but typing php-curl is a lot of work 😡

git clone
composer install
while confessing one by one sin I've committed in the last project

suddenly windows 10 isn't so bad to use (btw rocketeer is a composer package that in windows cmd doesn't really work all that well). Took me a total of 10min to get rocketeer working (requires composer, curl, php)

Solved a seeder issue this morning that has been plaguing me since Sunday. Glad to know I just hadn't refreshed composer, and my code was functional 😥

Dear TYPO3, choke on my massive dick! Been working with it for a week now. It would be more pleasant to pleasure myself rectally with a 20cm cactus than working with this piece of shit! Why the fuck would you think that we need typoscript? Why the fuck are you using numbers as variables? I don't get why this abnormality is still allowed to exist. And fuck people that publish tools and extensions that are used by everyone just to drop support on the next LTS. And, oh look, I just have to add these four extensions that are from the same person and are dependencies for each other to my composer. Oh WTF, why is nothing working anymore? AND WHY THE HELL IS THIS FUCKING ERROR MESSAGE AS COMMUNICATIVE AS MY STUPID EX GIRLFRIEND?

Fucking code!

Shit, Symfony.

I had trouble creating a bundle. It's necessary to install composer!

Finally, I succeeded!

Just found a production project that has good portion of it's Composer dependency tree listed in .gitmodules.

Deployment builds are prepared with --recursive clone.

Why.

not a rant
i really need help reading jcjee's email composer

Spending more time setting up tools and workflows like git, composer, docker, gulp etc etc etc than fucking coding anything! All this stuff was supposed to save time. And then these tools starts MESSING with each other!