"my app is so awesome you don't even have to close it, it crashes itself automatically. "

In Europe, we use € instead of $ in jQuery.

Going through an old side project, and I found this beauty

Google sucks!
No, not as e-mail or for privacy reasons. Sure, that too, but it comes with "free" stuff.

It sucks because it's breaking every possible record in the worst, shittiest, most insanely stupid APIs and integrations out there on the entire fucking planet!

It is comically stupid!

Aside from their LOVE of hard-deprecating APIs every few months, requiring constant, time consuming maintenance of every tool that integrates deeply with Google services, some of their APIs, for expensive stuff, look like they've been written by Bobby McFartface from 7th grade.

Take a look at DoubleClick Search (their ad performance reporting tool, that sure does sound like one). To upload custom, additional data, you must pass in a ton of parameter, and they REQUIRE some of them to have a specific, hardcoded value. What's the point in passing that parameter then you dickheads?!
But fine, so you uploaded some stuff using the API. Now you want to delete everything and try again after you fixed a bug - well you fucking CAN'T! You can't delete stuff, you can only mark them as "deleted" using an update call.
Bulk operations? Fuck no!
Can I just add on top? Well of course not! That will raise a ton of exceptions. Same message should be transmitted using the PUT, not POST request, in order to edit.
Can I send everything to PUT? Of course not! You can't edit something that's not there, dummy!

Can I see what's there so that I can update it, and add what's missing?
Well of course not! Why on Earth would you need to see what information is in there after you uploaded it? Who needs that anyway?

Simply send, pray, and hope that everything will be fine (it will not).

Like holy fucking crap, it can't get any more stupid!
Google is a huge pile of idiots who feed on only a single cow - the search engine.

It's times like these when I think that Google right now is the worst thing that exists for everyone in tech. It's dragging everyone down with their monopolies everywhere and complete idiocy in managing them.

Linux ❤️

Pushed a month of work to production and left the office. Cool guys don't look at explosions

Nothing ruins your Friday night more than realising it's only Thursday.

Dammit.

How do you feel when there is no coffee??

Me: Depresso

How it feels holding the power button when the pc freezes

The woman who helped develop software for the Apollo 11 was awarded a Medal of Freedom today.

Pro tip:
Decorate your room like a lecture hall so you fall asleep faster

suddenly while you introduce yourself to everyone..

My screens have a different height, but luckily I solved the problem with c++

Slow Internet connection and people who don't follow the Headphones Rules

I accidentally sent my bachelor thesis to the 3D-printer. It printed a big peace of shit.

How web server works. Brutal reality simply explained. #symfonyCon

My most successful project? The next one.

If that doesn't happen, read this again.

My handwriting is so bad... That it is now being used as a Captcha.!

Someone is mining Bitcoin in town

The man behind the legend!

The highest data transfer rate today - 256 gigabytes per second - was achieved when the cleaner's vacuum cleaner accidentally sucked the flash drive in from the floor.

Girl: I love guys who are rich.
Me: I paid for sublime and winrar.
Girl: Your place or mine??

At the top of a 2000+ line source file

Today while i was working on my web project, suddenly my boss put his hands in my pants, jerked me off and then i continued my work like nothing ever happened.

Being your own boss has its own advantages ;)

Conversation with my Boss

B: Are u a hacker?
M: No
B: We need a hacker?
M: Why?
B: Because X department wants to do a hackathon.

That's a good one!

JavaScript is to Java what fun is to a funeral.

!rant

Customer: What's the difference between an antivirus and an antimalware?

Me: *thinks for a second* So an antimalware program is like if you're on a beach with a metal detector. You're looking around for metal that's already buried in the sand. An antivirus is like actively watching people for if they drop metal on the ground.

Customer: That's an interesting analogy.

Coworker: *quietly* That's a actually a really good analogy...

What language do you hate the most and why is it Java?

About Brexit.