"my app is so awesome you don't even have to close it, it crashes itself automatically. "

In Europe, we use € instead of $ in jQuery.

Going through an old side project, and I found this beauty

Linux ❤️

Pushed a month of work to production and left the office. Cool guys don't look at explosions

Nothing ruins your Friday night more than realising it's only Thursday.

Dammit.

How do you feel when there is no coffee??

Me: Depresso

How it feels holding the power button when the pc freezes

The woman who helped develop software for the Apollo 11 was awarded a Medal of Freedom today.

Pro tip:
Decorate your room like a lecture hall so you fall asleep faster

suddenly while you introduce yourself to everyone..

My screens have a different height, but luckily I solved the problem with c++

Slow Internet connection and people who don't follow the Headphones Rules

I accidentally sent my bachelor thesis to the 3D-printer. It printed a big peace of shit.

How web server works. Brutal reality simply explained. #symfonyCon

My most successful project? The next one.

If that doesn't happen, read this again.

My handwriting is so bad... That it is now being used as a Captcha.!

Someone is mining Bitcoin in town

The man behind the legend!

The highest data transfer rate today - 256 gigabytes per second - was achieved when the cleaner's vacuum cleaner accidentally sucked the flash drive in from the floor.

Girl: I love guys who are rich.
Me: I paid for sublime and winrar.
Girl: Your place or mine??

At the top of a 2000+ line source file

Today while i was working on my web project, suddenly my boss put his hands in my pants, jerked me off and then i continued my work like nothing ever happened.

Being your own boss has its own advantages ;)

Conversation with my Boss

B: Are u a hacker?
M: No
B: We need a hacker?
M: Why?
B: Because X department wants to do a hackathon.

That's a good one!

JavaScript is to Java what fun is to a funeral.

!rant

Customer: What's the difference between an antivirus and an antimalware?

Me: *thinks for a second* So an antimalware program is like if you're on a beach with a metal detector. You're looking around for metal that's already buried in the sand. An antivirus is like actively watching people for if they drop metal on the ground.

Customer: That's an interesting analogy.

Coworker: *quietly* That's a actually a really good analogy...

What language do you hate the most and why is it Java?

About Brexit.

Date a programmer. We break loops, not hearts.