Oh God, When your boss is reviewing your code and he pauses to take some meds.

Me : *writes code and feel good about the result and quality *
Code reviewer : Dafuq is this shit

Who the fuck writes a 200 line method with 52 if/else statements, 3 try-catches, 6 loops and only 1 comment saying //Array of system records. No dipshit I thought that was a Fucking interface. What happened to the whole keep it simple notion?!

Is obsidian a fucking joke?

Seriously, is it a joke? Why would you ever care so much about indexing literally everything, if the entire thing crashes and/or takes >5min to LITERALLY just open the fucking directory and/or (so help you) if that directory is full of projects/repos or whatever the fuck and the total size of said directory is like >5GB.

WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU INDEX EVERYTHING? -- "Ohh obsidian's not supposed to be used a fully fledged IDE, ohh obsidian should just handle MD files and normal sized projects, ohh the plugins and ease-of-use" -- Fuck.

There's no fucking real reason to index everything, BY DEFAULT. You open a directory with Obsidian? Doesn't matter, it's 1 byte, it's 100GB, you get indexed. Deal with it. It will use LITERALLY every resource your computer has. I'm surprised it doesn't go galaxy brain and ping if any other computers/devices are on the network and then attempt to connect and use their hardware (obsidian can be like a node!).

How shit can you be at understanding basic data structures and algorithms, where you just revert to based google-chrome brain and let the FUCKING TEXT EDITOR -- OBSIDIAN IS A FUCKING TEXT EDITOR HOLY SHIT -- hog all conceivable memory.

I swear to <some-deity> if anyone fucking says "Ohhhhhhhh actually, it's not a text editor, it has plugins and features and shit, it does all dis cool stff", OR, "Ohhhhh actually, obsidian indexes things for a very specific/rationale/apt/pragmatic/academic reason" OR "ohhhh, I have 100 iphones, 1000 ipads and a trillion desktop computers that each have 256GB of memory, why you hating on obsidian?" then go kick rocks. The fucking lot of you. Are you fucking kidding me.

Guess who has 2 thumbs, half a brain and lost his job today...

Lua is one of the stupidest languages to ever exist.

Oh, the language is easy to learn? The syntax is friendly? There's only like negative 10 functions you ever need to know? Everything is a table?

EVERYTHING IS A TABLE?! WTF CARES? WHAT ABOUT NIL?!

The arrogance this language has is extraordinary, literally. No lang, except Lua, imposes such an opinionated dichotomy. Everything is a fucking table, or, it's nil. -- That's so fucking stupid.

And look, I get it, this lang (oh sorry, scripting language (?)) CAN be good and fun and whatever... the moment you start to do IO is the literal end of days.

Everything is nil. Except, if it's defined... then it's not nil. -- OK. That sounds sensible/reasonable enough. -- What if it's not defined? You get nil. What if it's not the right data? You get nil. Do I get errors/exceptions or whatever? No, absolutely not, you get nil... unless the application you're using with Lua with has a lib that handles that.

There are so many more issues I have with this lang, but honestly... Am I fucking missing something? Is this lang like actually super dooper awesome and I'm missing something? -- I can't not look at this language as just dumb and arrogant. -- It's literally a language where you have to manage and remember ALL conceivable state at ALL times.

Conversation in a debug meeting, after a series of confusing failures:

Senior dev: “This is stupid”
Junior dev: “Me too”

Ah, when you run into a bug that only has 7 google results, and have of them is in Russian for some reason. Gonna be a long day.

If you're reviewing someone's code, do you run/test the code before reviewing the logic? Or do you review logic before running the code?

Lend a dude a pen and he sits next to me clicking it nonstop...you can keep that pen if you leave, my friend

I have accidentally closed so many windows trying to use ctrl-w instead of ctrl-f to search after spending days in nano.

Inherited a massive code base today... All JS is still being accessed via global scope... what are modules & modular design even... SOLID and DRY are things that clearly never crossed the devs mind during inception of this beast... and to top it all off all there is a weird BEM / SCSS style going on that somehow manages to confuse the IDE... thus all style helper utilities in the IDE are useless...

When my mom asked what would I like to have - sweet corn or Avacado.
I said - Let's document all the possible approaches and setup some time to discuss pros and cons.

I am not a fan of programs that want to store their libraries in your home directory. It's alright if they store it in a hidden folder at least. I like my home directory to be nice and clean~~

*Triggers OAuth request through browser
Returns : success and valid tokens.

*Another project triggers the same process and code.
Returns : well shit nigga, I know I use the same logic as above but fuck you.

God fuckin dammit, I swear to heaven if this bitch ass code returns IO.Exception file is being used blah blah blah even though I'm using filestream and streamwriter. I will lose my shit in this fucking office

I'm trying to set value of a kendo js property using value from dB. I would like to do something similar to

template : "#= dataItem.Item1 #"
But I can't use template for what I'm trying to set

Apparently on demand tech support expecially when their wifi is down or computer is being 'bad'

kendall : u look stupid
harry : do u know the perfect example for
something is better than nothing
kendall : what?
harry : your ass