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-
Picked up a legacy site to re-build, turns out just adding:
'?admin=1'
to the query string gave you full admin rights to the entire site without having to authenticate. The site was live for 2 years.3 -
WHY THE FUCKIDY FUCK DO PEOPLE THINK THAT JUST BECAUSE YOU ARE A DEVELOPER THEN YOU CAN DO EVERY FUCKING THING IN A SNAP?!
THIS ENTIRE SUMMER I WORKED FOR THIS MIDGET OF A FUCK AND THE IDEA WAS TO MAINLY DEVELOP AN IOS APP FOR THEIR PRODUCT. THAT ONE APP TRANSLATED TO THREE SEPARATE APPS AND KEEP IN MIND THAT I AM THE ONLY DEVELOPER THEY HAVE SO I HAVE TO DEVELOP IT, TEST IT AND DOCUMENT IT!! AND WHAT'S EVEN WORSE IS HE KEEPS GIVING ME DESIGNS AT THE LAST MINUTE SO I ALWAYS END UP HAVING TO CREATE NEW PROJECTS ALL THE TIME. WHEN A WEEK PASSES BY WITHOUT ANY UPDATE HE AND HIS FUCKED UP BRAIN CELLS GATHER A MEETING WITH HIS 'DONALD TRUMP HANDS-SIZED' BALLS TO ASK ME, 'WHY ARE YOU TAKING SO LONG? THESE ARE JUST THREE BUTTONS ON THIS VIEW?' MOTHERFUCKING COCKSUCKER!! GO GET YOUR MOM TO DO THIS WORK THEN IF IT'S JUST THREE BUTTONS. TO HIM EVERYTHING IN IOS WHICH INCORPORATES A TAP IS A FUCKING BUTTON! BUTTON THIS! BUTTON THAT! AND IT'S NOT LIKE HE HAS SIMPLE DESIGNS..NO.NO.NO.NO. THIS ASSHOLE-SHAPED-HEAD MUGGET DESIGNS SHIT WHICH REQUIRES ME TO HAVE TO DRAW A UIVIEW AS THE SHAPE OF A HUMAN BODY AND HEART. THEN ASIDE FROM THAT, JUST BECAUSE MY RESUME SAYS I MINORED IN MATH AND APPLIED MATH, HE SENDS ME A PAPER THAT EXPLAINS MATHEMATICAL CONCEPTS OF DATA ANALYSIS THEN WANTS TO MEET WITH ME TO DISCUSS THE SUGGESTED METHODS THEN IMPLEMENT THEM. AT THIS POINT I HAD ALREADY IMPLEMENTED AN ALGO FOR COUNTING THE NUMBER OF STEPS THAT WAS WAY WAY WAY MORE ACCURATE THAN THE SHIT THEY HAD IN THEIR CONTROLLER..
SO AS I AM ABOUT TO FINISH IMPLEMENTING JUST THE INITIAL 5 VIEWS OF THIS 'FINAL' APP, HE SERIOUSLY WALKS IN AND TELLS ME, SO I'M STARTING TO WORRY THAT WE'LL NOT MEET THE AUGUST DEADLINE SO I'M THINKING MAYBE YOU SHOULD START SWITCHING BETWEEN DEVELOPMENT. WORK ON IOS FOR 4 HOURS THEN SWITCH TO ANDROID FOR THE REMAINDER OF THE TIME. OH AND UHH IF YOU FEEL LIKE TAKING THE IMAC WITH YOU TO WORK FROM HOME, THAT'S FINE AS WELL AND I'LL BE AVAILABLE IN THE WEEKENDS AS WELL. IT WAS AT THIS MOMENT THAT I REALLY REALLY HOPED I WERE GAY! LIKE 'NO LUBE' STYLE KINDA GAY!! OH BTW AT SOME POINT HE HAD ME PROGRAM ONE OF THEIR CONTROLLERS, AND WAS ASKING IF I COULD START RESEARCHING MEANS OF WRITING AN SDK FOR THEM.
KEEP IN MIND THAT I'M AN INTERN WITH ONE YEAR IOS DEV EXPERIENCE.. THEN HE WANTS ME TO ENTIRELY START LEARNING ANDROID AND GIVE HIM TWO VERSIONS OF THIS THIRD APP IN TWO WEEKS.
HE CAN GO SUCK HIS OWN DICK WHILE GETTING FINGER FUCKED BY A FORK WITH A BLUE WHALE'S 6FT LONG DICK UP HIS MOUTH.
*** that felt good ****36 -
HR Project update meeting.
Duration: 1h
Content:
1) recap of previous meeting
2) overview of what we will discuss in next meeting.3 -
Manager : The new system should have an accuracy of around 70%.
Me : { Handles the team, collects the data, designs the pipeline and manage to get ~75%. }
[ During demonstration the model gives correct results 8 out of 10 times i.e. 80% accuracy ]
Manager : WHY HAS THIS FAILED? THIS IS NOT ACCEPTABLE AT ALL!!
Me: *Sigh*...
Guess someone needs a quick lesson on how percentages work.9 -
Me:*connects up laptop to projector via wifi bc teacher doesn't know shit about computers*
Teacher: *sits at computer*
Teacher: *closes the program that streams to projector*
Me:*facepalm*
Teacher: "Why did it stop working did you set it up wrong?"5 -
Apparently someone at Lenovo thought it was a good idea to put an Alt-F4 shortcut button right next to the volume buttons.
20 -
That moment when your boss is introducing the new guy and you are silently making a list of all the git repos you need to back up before he makes it to his desk.
-
I heard of it for the first time. And well, this sounds disgusting.
If this happens, I'll seriously start a revolution of hackers fighting internet providers. Seriously
9 -
First day at new web dev job:
Me: what IDE do you guys use?
Coworker: Notepad/notepad++
M: Okay... Any version control?
C: Oh we don't need it. We just update the server pages.
*Boss walks in*
Boss: Heres the project for you to do just need you to rebrand this web app we made for client A for client B just need to change some scripts. Should only take afew hours.
I take a look. No comments. Not formatted. Missing braces and brackets. Semicolons at odd places and missing at others. 7802 lines of code...18 -
I challenged my girlfriend (and myself) for the FizzBuzz thingy. I did it in js (because I suck at js) and she in Java. I never saw such a way to write FizzBuzz. Turns out she forgot there is a thing called modulo operator.
I know there are more elegant ways to solve it! Feel free to post your favorites.
46 -
The moment when a mate of yours lends you his iPhone and you notice that Google apps are smoother on IOS than Google's own fuckin OS
(side note:first post, me need avatar or even better me need sticker 0.0)
16 -
Boss: "Why weren't you in the project meeting? You were supposed to present!"
Me: "I'm not on that project, Bob was before he quit."
Boss: "Yeah, but I assumed you'd take it over. We need you to be working on it."
Me: "What? I don't know anything about it, nothing."
Boss: "Yeah, but you guys went to lunch together, what else would you have talked about?"10 -
Dear devRanters,
If you're going to screenshot any part of your feed or notifications: PLEASE switch to dark theme first. My optometrist has already advised me that my sight is starting to deteriorate because of these screenshots.
Thanks,
A very concerned ranter.7 -
So today I got removed from my freelance project because the client found out I listen to slipknot! What the actual FUCK? How the FUCK does it matter what I listen to?
And that cunt eater isn't willing to pay for the work I've already completed since "Slipknot is anti-Christian".
Burn in hell you piece of shit.21 -
"We thought you'd just pick up the PSD files and copy paste them to your site, but it seems that you built it from scratch."
...fucking seriously?7 -
I find it super annoying, this trend where no one wants to write learning documentation anymore, but instead put up a bunch of demo videos and video "training courses."
I don't want to spend 5 minutes watching you do something that would take me 10 seconds to read. I can't search for terms in your video, and I can't use them as a general reference manual. I can't go at my own pace, easily keep my place between devices, enter code as you go, the list of cons goes on and on.
I would rather pay you money for a good eBook (and no, PDFs don't count), than to have the only realistic way to learn about your software be a playlist on your YouTube channel.
This, however, this...
Went to check out Ansible again, because I've heard good things lately and it's been a couple years since I've looked at it.
Took me a while to find their docs because there's almost no mention of anything on the home page except trying Tower for free.
Found the docs. The first item there is the Quick Start Video and I think, "Cool. That's a good use of video, showing off the product."
I dig out some headphones, click play:
"Ansible is a powerful" BOOM!
Enter my email to watch the video?!
Ah, forget it. Maybe I'll see you next time, Ansible.
9 -
I'm trying to sign up for insurance benefits at work.
Step 1: Trying to find the website link -- it's non-existent. I don't know where I found it, but I saved it in keepassxc so I wouldn't have to search again. Time wasted: 30 minutes.
Step 2: Trying to log in. Ostensibly, this uses my work account. It does not. Time wasted: 10 minutes.
Step 3: Creating an account. Username and Password requirements are stupid, and the page doesn't show all of them. The username must be /[A-Za-z0-9]{8,60}/. The maximum password length is VARCHAR(20), and must include upper/lower case, number, special symbol, etc. and cannot include "password", repeated charcters, your username, etc. There is also a (required!) hint with /[A-Za-z0-9 ]{8,60}/ validation. Want to type a sentence? better not use any punctuation!
I find it hilarious that both my username and password hint can be three times longer than my actual password -- and can contain the password. Such brilliant security.
My typical username is less than 8 characters. All of my typical password formats are >25 characters. Trying to figure out memorable credentials and figuring out the hidden complexity/validation requirements for all of these and the hint... Time wasted: 30 minutes.
Step 4: Post-login. The website, post-login, does not work in firefox. I assumed it was one of my many ad/tracker/header/etc. blockers, and systematically disabled every one of them. After enabling ad and tracker networks, more and more of the site loaded, but it always failed. After disabling bloody everything, the site still refused to work. Why? It was fetching deeply-nested markup, plus styling and javascript, encoded in xml, via api. And that xml wasn't valid xml (missing root element). The failure wasn't due to blocking a vitally-important ad or tracker (as apparently they're all vital and the site chain-loads them off one another before loading content), it's due to shoddy development and lack of testing. Matches the rest of the site perfectly. Anyway, I eventually managed to get the site to load in Safari, of all browsers, on a different computer. Time wasted: 40 minutes.
Step 5: Contact info. After getting the site to work, I clicked the [Enroll] button. "Please allow about 10 minutes to enroll," it says. I'm up to an hour and 50 minutes by now. The first thing it asks for is contact info, such as email, phone, address, etc. It gives me a warning next to phone, saying I'm not set up for notifications yet. I think that's great. I select "change" next to the email, and try to give it my work email. There are two "preferred" radio buttons, one next to "Work email," one next to "Personal email" -- but there is only one textbox. Fine, I select the "Work" preferred button, sign up for a faux-personal tutanota email for work, and type it in. The site complains that I selected "Work" but only entered a personal email. Seriously serious. Out of curiosity, I select the "change" next to the phone number, and see that it gives me four options (home, work, cell, personal?), but only one set of inputs -- next to personal. Yep. That's amazing. Time spent: 10 minutes.
Step 6: Ranting. I started going through the benefits, realized it would take an hour+ to add dependents, research the various options, pick which benefits I want, etc. I'm already up to two hours by now, so instead I decided to stop and rant about how ridiculous this entire thing is. While typing this up, the site (unsurprisingly) automatically logged me out. Fine, I'll just log in again... and get an error saying my credentials are invalid. Okay... I very carefully type them in again. error: invalid credentials. sajfkasdjf.
Step 7 is going to be: Try to figure out how to log in again. Ugh.
"Please allow about 10 minutes" it said. Where's that facepalm emoji?
But like, seriously. How does someone even build a website THIS bad?13 -
"Yeah, we didn't send out a notice about changing the format. We figured you'd notice when your code stopped working."1
-
I seriously love Devrant. I think I have been missing this for all my life! seriously. who ever wrote this is a genius. I love this.8
-
Company: "We only accept the best programmers! 5 years of experience in 100 different Javascript frameworks!"
Also company: Random alert popup saying "page loaded" everytime you click next on application form.2 -
::python coding::
Friend: "so I have to press tab when I want to code inside a function, right?"
Me (Busy): "yea yea, whenever you enter a new scope. Indentation is important in python..."
Friend: "what's a scope?"
#$ cowsay "dafaq"
Me: "bruh, what you doin in Computer Engineering?"4 -
>Upper management personal hands me a paper.
>"Can you make some copies of this for me?"
>"Why?"
>"You work in IT."8 -
They changed "Trash" to "Bin" in the Catalina update. I need to know who is the snowflake who was offended by trash??20
-
If you wanna replace few of the carousel banners in your website, at least fucking send me the image with the same aspect ratio or resolution compared to the old images.
WHY THE FUCK YOU WANNA BLAME THE DEV TEAM WHEN YOUR GRAPHIC TEAM AND YOUR MARKETING TEAM IS SHIT?5 -
Shit! I knew buzzwords were overused, but I just saw an ad and it is fucking jesused jambled bananas in the ass.
Starts with a woman looking out the window and there’s a tornado (seems ok for now)
The tornado approaches and IT IS MADE OF FUCKING NON MONOSPACED IN MY ASS FONTED 0s AND 1s. Bonus point: they are green !!
Switches to lines of GREEN code (kill my fucking brain with a pistol attached to your dick right now)
Probably JS or something similar in syntax.
And then: A FUCKING GUY LEANING OVER POINTING SOMETHING ON THE SCREEN! HIS NAMETAG:
Logan Paul
Blockchain
👏👏👏👏
And then some other buzzing asses armagedon en d of the fucking world bleeding edge vibrator buzzwords shenanigans.
Finishes with drones shot flying between businesses building with 3d floating words like
Blockchain!
Artificial Intelligence
Deep learning
Etc.
KILLLLLL MMMEEEE FU748-KFJV ING 3I6HT N0W $)&(&($8#;&(&8 jeiebc13 -
It bugs the crap out of me that GitHub.com is not fully responsive.
Mobile?
Check
Desktop?
Check
Everything in between?
Nope nope nope
Also, if you want to waste a huge chunk of time, try to google if you can contribute to GitHub.com. 🙄20 -
I realized this week that my CPU is almost 12 years old!
It's an AMD FX-8150 8core @3.6 (recently overclocked to 4ghz). It's still a good chip for my needs, but eep. I had no idea I bought it that long ago.
I really want to replace it, but that would require a new mobo, too. which I suppose wouldn't be a bad thing...
------
Unpopular onion:
AMD was comparable to (and occasionally better than) Intel before, but now? Ever since they bought ATI, they've just spiraled: virtually everything they've produced has lagged behind.
However: the Ryzen seems to break this trend, so maybe there's hope yet?13 -
No Wi-Fi = No Food.. Great motivation to pay your internet bill on time... This 'smart' shit is going way too far lol..
15 -
SWIFT!!!!! I understand that you're a relatively new language so I forgave you for all of your wrong doings..BUT WHAT THE FINGER IS THIS SHIT YOU HAVE IMPLEMENTED IN YOUR STRING DATATYPE? WHY THE FUCK CAN'T YOU FORM A CHARACTER FROM AN EMPTY STRING? AND WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK HAPPENED TO THE SUBSCRIPT OPERATOR? WHY NOT JUST ADOPT THE "\0" AS OTHER LANGUAGES? But NOOOOO...We're Apple we'll not adopt it..I WAS UNDER THE IMPRESSION THAT STUPIDITY AND LUCK OF INNOVATION RAN IN THE IPHONE TEAM BUT APPARENTLY ITS EVERYWHERE..Its annoying because the String datatype is one of the most common and basic data types so the last thing you expect is this shit..APPLE........SERIOUSLY AND SINCERELY FUCK OFF4
-
Microsoft is bring Edge browser to Android and iOs.
Wtf?
"one of the most common requests we hear from people who use Microsoft Edge on Windows 10 pcs is we want our browser experience to move to our phones"
I think you'll also find another common request is for you to actually finish the damn thing and make it usable.18 -
Seriously, look at this guy’s bloody phone. He’s not letting go of it, it’s been like this for ages. He’s got missing pieces of glass above the lcd, there are cracks all over, sellotape all over. At some point you gotta realise it’s affecting the user experience.
If you don’t want to get a new phone, at least have the screen replaced!!
32 -
Not sure if those are real song names or Spotify is trolling me when I try to trigger a "no results" UI in my app.
7 -
Seriously? There isn't a "no pants" option? Seriously? come on @dfox, we all know how stuff really gets done 😉7
-
When a random recruiter texts you an irrelevant job posting instead of spamming your voicemail or email like they usually do...6
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Had a job interview for a front end dev (Involving a technical test). After couple of days, recruiter says - Unfortunately they say that you are too focused on best practices so they want to pass.3
-
Today during my Algorithms lab, the guy sitting to my left began digging his nose like he had buried treasure there. 🤢
Oh how I wanted to smash his face on his keyboard. 😭11 -
That moment when you change your mindset from "I'll probably leave the office by 6pm" to "I hope I'll leave before midnight"2
-
Realizing that the former so-called PHP developers based the entirety of their so-called dashboard framework (self-written of course) on GET requests.
Every. Controller. Only. Accepts. Get. Requests.
It creates stuff? So what! It does update? No matter! It deletes? Who cares!
Just call that URL, and it will release all hell, plagued with multiple side-effects, and then issue a redirect.
Of course that one delete button was inside some twitter bootstrap tabs, and due to the redirect the page always reloaded and the content manager landed on a very different tab. Meaning if they wanted to delete multiple records, they had to hit "activate tab" and "delete" and "activate tab" and "delete" -- rinse and repeat.
It's our *job* to make things easier for our users! Not to waste their time. (Unless you are browser game developer. Then do your thing.)
And we are talking basic CRUD! Basic CRUD! I am not even demanding for it to be restful or to have some parts of a HTML page being updated on the fly with such rad and new technologies like ajax!
There is just question I would like to ask whoever build this: Seriously!?4 -
11:59 -> why am i getting an invalid operation exception?
12:00 -> ...
12:01 -> why are we the only species that can question reason?2 -
One of our backend devs just changed an existing migration instead of creating a new one.
Thanks a lot mate.4 -
Ohhh Apple.... At this point you might as well change your logo to 🖕 with the motto, "Apple, coz FUCK YOU"
8 -
Got selected for an interview with a big internet giant.
Went there and was warmly greeted.
Thry asked to wait for a bit as my interviewer was busy with something.
Moments later a young beautiful lady entered the room. Her face was the most beautiful thing I've seen in my entire life. I was dumbstruck.
She then introduced herself and turns out she was my interviewer.
Everytime she asked me something I looked at her face and grinned stupidly.
Now even though I should feel bad about getting rejected, I am happy as fuck.
This message is to all cofounders/hr/etc. - please don't allow such beauties to take the interview. You might miss out an A grader.9 -
Because nothing says "security" like some good ol' Base64 encoding. Bet whoever wrote that code was wearing mirror shades.1
-
So this just happened. Some background before I begin: We're understaffed, my desk is in the back of the building, and there's no one really at the front to greet people. No security either...
Guy walks in wearing a flannel jacket (no shirt under it), pajama pants, and sandals. He looks like hell. Explains he was just released from a hospital and his apartment is locked. I let him use my phone to call his sister.
When I talk to his sister, she barely wants to speak with him. Tells me his apartment is locked for a reason and he's not allowed back. I'm just like: "So... what would you have us do for him?" At this point if his sister won't help, I was going to ask him to leave. Oh, and that hospital was a drug rehab.
So it ends with him waiting for a ride, but he ends up napping on the couch in the front of our office. CEO/Owner and his business partner walk right past and say nothing. They go into a meeting. I'm trying to figure out if I ask him to leave, wait outside for his ride... I'm a developer, this isn't my job.
A good 45-60 minutes later, after the guy walked outside and then came back in and laid back down on the couch, he leaves with his ride. Shortly after the owner walks out of his meeting, so I ask him what to do in this situation - more hoping he'd realize the need for more security.
If this story isn't crazy enough, the business partner pipes up - absolutely serious - and says he didn't say anything because he thought the guy was a developer.
So I've learned that we've got extremely low hygiene standards for developers here, with a relaxed dress code and are allowed nap times on the front couch.
Thankfully our CYBER security is better than our PHYSICAL security. :|1 -
This was about 3 years ago. I’m on vacation and just getting off the plane, when my boss calls me on his cellphone. Apparently the crontab on our main file upload server had gotten nuked, and he was asking if there were any backups.
A word about this server. I work with video, so this thing is doing about a few gigabits of traffic incoming at any moment. The cron jobs are necessary to move and organize these massive files into a sane scheme for processing. Hundreds of drop folders receiving thousands of files resulting in terabytes of data every single day. Our storage vendor tells us we have the third largest deployment they know about.
No cron jobs mean all of this content is just sitting around piling up. I tell him sorry, try contacting $otherAdmin since he’s more familiar with that system.
A few days later, after the vacation, I come back in. $boss and $otherAdmin have reconstructed the crontab from scratch after an all nighter.
I ask how it got deleted.
$boss was training some people how to set up new customers on this file server, and he told the trainees to open the crontab in read-only mode. One of them ran:
crontab -r
Yes, we back up our crontabs now.3 -
The fucker complains when someone doesn't write unit tests, meanwhile he tops any new code he writes with a @codeCoverageIgnore annotation ... 😒😒7
-
Real question here.
Do you feel like you're being paid enough?
If you're senior devs, did you also get paid enough when you were a junior?15 -
Saw this in a previous developer's code which is currently in production.
public bool reset;
public bool Reset
{
get{ return reset; }
}
This was done for most if not all the properties.3 -
If Android phone has a bug and doesn’t receive fix: nobody cares
If iPhone has a bug and Apple fixes it after 2 days: WOLOLOLOLO, APPLE SUCKS! THE END OF APPLE IS NEAR!13 -
Recently did a fresh installation of brothers laptop of windows 10 and found this gem at after installing chrome and running it for the first time
chrome://welcome-win10/
suck it micro$oft
1 -
Dear Client,
Mentioning "Dear Friend" in email won't make your bug as top priority.
Seriously,
Developer3 -
Seriously!? You don't fucking delete or change code because you don't understand it and push it to production, it's the way it is because of reasons you airhead can't comprehend ... ffs the fucker could have asked me and saved us trouble and embarrassment.
Fuck.7 -
Saw a classmate returning an plain text password from a function to try to push it in a JSON file for an API we have to build for class.
I try to correct him and show him a few things that are better practices and for security, I get yelled at and called a know-it-all for trying to help... I'm so done with people -.-4 -
Customer: I need a one page website, which must have an administration panel , so I can change and add new sections. I will also have designed a unique logo and a unique web design. I think you can do it in 5-10 hours , so I'll give you $ 50 and $ 100
Me: ehmmm... I need more time if it is to be unique , and one hour cost of $ 5- $ 10 is not enough.
Customer: fuck it. I do it my self. it can not be that hard , and I think it's too expensive.
Me:
5 -
You're all fucking idiots with no thoughts of your own. No one gave a shit when Drupal and Django made the master/slave change 4 years ago because the idea of the "regressive left" wasn't the cultural enemy of the zeitgeist.
Think for your fucking selves instead of being so brain-dead and reactionary to something that doesn't even affect you.
Fucking neo-reactionary bullshit, that's what it is. You people don't care, you just want an excuse to rant at "teh SJWs".
Fuck.19 -
FUCK YOU TURNITIN.COM
Is there any reason FOR AN UPPER LIMIT TO YOUR PASSWORD!?
And if your wondering, my password would have been heyTurnItInDOTcomDevsYOUcanSODoffEXCLAMATIONpoint
9 -
Dear internet providers,
Please make sure that everyone can setup routers so I don't have to stand in tons of rain waiting on somebody to open me his door because I have to stick the ******** LAN cable in the wall, which he really can't do him self....
Thank you.1 -
Quick question: Does your mom understand what you do at work?
Mine still thinks I'm doing some Marketing-Shit whereas I tried to explain multiple times to her what IT and eCommerce is...3 -
Why are things never simple when it comes to Magento... It should be renamed Magentnooooooooooooooo!1
-
Xperia Flashtool? More like Xperia Fucktool. Why? BECAUSE THE FUCKING THING CAN'T FLASH MY PHONE. FIRST YOU SPIT INTO MY FACE WHEN NOT DETECTING A COMPLETELY FINE .FTF, THEN YOU SHIT ON MY HEAD BY SAYING THAT THE .SIN FILE IS INVALID, AND THEN YOU PISS INTO MY MOUTH BY JUST REBOOTING THE DEVICE! Old version works fine tho.4
-
My friend keeps claiming Internet Explorer is better than everything else until I told him that Microsoft doesn't update it much anymore...12
-
Do people really struggle with CSS?
I thought it was just design and ideas but is it actual CSS y’all struggle with?
Not judging. Just asking to be sure34 -
Blockstack; developers who are using blockchain technology to reconfigure the web. It’ll make NSA mass data collection impossible.
https://youtube.com/watch/...
Beat that @theNSA
7 -
Mobile developers of the world. Hear my words. Two things: 1. Why is every mobile site nowadays specifically geared to being as nonfriendly to mobile devices as possible? You should probably remember that mobile devices are resource constrained much like early 00s PCs. Maybe we don't need the full HD 3 megapixel version of the image. And we definitely don't need those full screen scroll ad things. In fact, I am 100% less likely to purchase their product if you include these. Which sucks because Hidden Valley salad dressing is pretty good, but now I have to settle for Wishbone.
2. Maybe you don't need to gamify everything. (Looking at you Waze). Or maybe don't give points to everyone who has ever posted about that red light cam outside of my work. It has been there for thirty years. I don't need to be reminded 80 times because someone wants imaginary GPS points. Yes I realize the irony of posting about gamification on a gamified site. I am fine with this.2 -
That moment when you realize your keyboard searches are proudly brought to you by this guy..? It makes sense for Bing to be used in Wordflow but here?! Well, guess whose visits are gonna skyrocket soon...😂
2 -
You're asked if you know how to use git, you say you can but you can't.
You decide to change your entire codebase because you realized your previous approach was a bad idea.
You ask how to change the old repository-content for the new project, you receive answer but you can't get it to work, you don't ask again for help.
What's the logical consequence? Create a public GitHub-Project and dump the entire customer-project under NDA into it -.-* -
So I just stumbled upon a comment on an old rant after 2 hours of looking through devrant and I just have to post this ... like DUDE ARE YOU FOR REAL?!?!?! Vista !?!?! FUCKING WINDOWS VISTA!?!?! IMHO it was the worst windows ever, even WinME was not that shitty...
9 -
end semester exams are coming, so I decided to study (because I fucked up last time and don't want the same this time).
*5 minutes into studying*
my brain: hey, you heard about ArchLinux? they say it's cool. Let's install it.
why ? why brain, can't you fucking focus on something different for 5 fucking minutes ? -
It's absolutely infuriating chasing overdue accounts. Seriously annoyed at the mo and need to dev rant.5
-
So a recruiter from an MNC recently contacted me for Python job application. She saw my profile and resume on LinkedIn and after reading about my projects she initially thought I have a good industry experience. As soon as I cleared her misunderstanding, she went from "when can you join?" to "sorry, I think I'll have to talk to my manager" in less than 2 seconds.
Talk about underrated jobs3 -
Client: Can you have a look at this website template for me?
Me: Sure, what's the address?
Client: You'll need to modify your hosts file to see it...
Me: 😡😷5 -
Since when are developers supposed to write story scenarios? Isn't that what I'm supposed to be working from?
😒1 -
Instagram trying to trademark the word 'gram', like is that shit even possible? Trademark a standardized unit? (except for the imperials out there of course but still, its a standard) its like someone trying to trademark the word year or something, bullcrappo5
-
I love it when my coworker removes my computer from my setup and replaces it with his own without asking, refuses to move and doesn't understand why I'm pissed. I love it even more how they get mad when I fuck with their stuff.4
-
Big plays...
function collapseView(element){
/**
*it doesnt work at the first time, the function needs to be called again
*/
element.collapse();
element.collapse();
}
Literally copy and paste this code..1 -
Chemists recently "compiled" a programming language into chemicals! I'll admit that I have no clue how it works, but they were able to get a mathematical function working without any electronics. The article I read doesn't describe the speed of the reaction, so I'm not sure if it's really useful as a replacement for computer operations.4
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That moment when you have hundreds of lines of code for your website, then you wanted to add a simple modal which looks great on w3school.
Then you recreate the modal on your site, click the button and nothing happens....
So now, you are spending hours trying to figure out why it's not working, new file to test, tried another modal concept, change the CSS, refresh the page until the F5 button doesn't even work anymore!!!
To find out, there is a extra "." in the href file tag plus the tag is in a id not a class
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Linux networking: A tragedy in three acts
ACT 1:
Wherein the system administrator writes their /etc/network/interfaces file as is the custom.
ACT 2:
Wherein the kafkaesque outputs of basic networking commands threaten basic sanity. Behold:
```
# ifup ens3:1
RTNETLINK answers: File exists
Failed to bring up ens3:1.
# ifdown ens3:1
ifdown: interface ens3:1 not configured
```
ACT 3:
Wherein all sanity is lost:
(╯°□°）╯︵ ┻━┻)1 -
In the spirit of week93:
If you haven’t read/heard about the attack on HB Gary Federal (a computer security company) in 2011 and you want a good read about a DDOS attack, social engineering, espionage, and the “infiltration of Anonymous” by a very punchable CEO you should check out this article:
https://arstechnica.com/tech-policy...
And the follow up by Anonymous:
https://arstechnica.com/tech-policy...1 -
The CS instructor who was (maybe an adjunct?) who no matter what homework we turned in gave us randomly different grades. We actually all handed in the same hw one time to see what would happen (only changing variable names and such), and confirmed it. Also, he used to call me J-Lo when I'd raise my hand to answer questions. (I was fit and am Latina) The second time he did it, I sternly corrected him in front of the whole class. He stopped after that. And yes he was gone from the school soon after!5
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When the previous developer doesn't appear to know what casting is...
var foo = Convert.ToBoolean(objDictionary["someKey"].ToString());1 -
Needed to setup the database for the web app on one of our Raspberry pis...
Gave the group's sysadmin the sql file and told him to tell me when he was done so I could change the connections in the app. - < two days ago
While he was supposed to take care of it I continued developing the app.
Today I went to ask him what was up with the db, said he wasn't able to import.
This guy, didn't read the error, didn't tell me about it, asked no-one for help and just went back to YouTube for two fucking days.
I'm so done with group projects1 -
I'm currently working on a new (for me) legacy database that store percentile numbers in a varchar column . Seriously who the fuck had the that brilliant idea!!!4
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Today I asked to the guy who manages the website and the server of my school if the site has an API or something else to take the circulars from the website and display them on an application.
He laughed at me and said that what I'm talking about was useless.
After that I want to retire from school.2 -
oh god, my Google Launcher/Google Now or whatever it is called "Stories to read" is filled with April Fool's Day articles... 😑4
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! Rant
Even after seeing it's less than twenty words and less than three lines my fellow devs managed to...[read more]1 -
A customer of ours not to say names trains people for infosec certs upon investigating their website I noticed they don't have forward secrecy enabled.
Why? What? Even?
Turn it on you baddies.2 -
Recalling the the time I was discussing a web dev based assignment with a classmate( And I wouldn't even go as far as to call it web dev, it was just making connect 4 using js and node).
Me: so did you get to implementing your game with firebase.
Classmate: no, but hey did you use loops for making the board?
Me: ?? There were like 50 elements ofc what did you do.
( Sigh* to think it's going to this)
Classmate: copy pasted
Yup 50 elements copy and paste. like the person I was talking to wasn't even incompetent I mean he had like a 3.5 gpa, how is there any correlation between this stupid number and how they actually code if you can't even code loops. The dude was a 2nd year student. And this wasn't even the only person I heard this from.
Apparently the TAs had to post about how to use loops in Js before we had our lab exam cause so many people copy pasted instead of loops, to think that would ever have to be the case.
The future is not bright. -
I think I'm balding where my headphones usually sit...
Still not gonna change to those god awful in-ear ones though !1 -
I say it's about time we unleash all of our secret developer weapons and take over the world like everyone has been predicting. Who's with me?6
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"We need to implement SSO across our legacy apps in 2 weeks. Don't worry about the details just do it. Pretend you're playing football with computers." MFW
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VMWare, for what you people charge, would it kill you to do some basic quality assurance on your install media?
Your flagship product, vCenter Server, has a known issue that's been there for at least eight update releases where you can't actually do the install without catching the newly provisioned appliance VM on its first startup, doing init=/bin/bash, and changing the root password by hand.
Because, yknow, having stuff work according to your docs is for *wimps*. Engineers who have to put up with this shit have the ears of their execs, and you can bet poor quality like this will eventually reach the ears of the people with purchasing authority.3 -
This 2018 order students 👨🎓 👩🎓 lab. From painting walls, logistics, etc to statistic per user usage. Last admin in 2 years in a dark-age. Like these wood for students Id computer assignments. Hate it.
Automatization please.
Question: How was you registration Computer lab? Recommend
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The people who run these scheduling meetings need to remember that this building is just one big tinder box ready to go up in smoke. 30+ minutes talking about bull shit that only affects a small percentage of the team. AND we're behind and dealing with a push that happened on a Friday before the guy who wrote the code left for vacation to go to Tennessee to watch the eclipse for some reason.
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So we have a teacher who always annoys us with being extremly specific and precise. Today we "learned" how to calculate the scan file size based on the dpi of the scanner and the size if the picture. He began to calculate, and then, he said: "Now we have 1737389 bytes and we gonna divide with 1024 to get the kiloBYTES. This was it. He rants about us everytime because of this shit. I raised my arm slowly, whilw preparing the words in my head. "Excuse me, but you are calculating kibibytes, not kilobytes! To get kilobytes you have to divide with 1000, hence kilo." Then he muttered something about he didnt wanted to write that because of courae he knew about this... One teacher well done please.
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When you get asked for an estimate immediately after something is brought up for the first time...
...some time to process what you jist said would be nice. -
When you discover a rather big security flaw in a mate code and your boss tell you that he might fix it for "version 2", for now we are good. Wtf, we are just hurting ourselves if this shit gets discovered by some other guy.
We are developing an android app for management and selling, for other company and we are a litte short in time for finishing the first version, but fuck, its a big security flaw. -
Angular 2 has had a rough year. Team announced that they "won't have breaking changes for 6 months" the day of 2.0.0's release. I just started studying it. I'm concerned about the adoption rate at this point...4
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PM on the first of the month: Okay, if you can finish the next part of this on-going task by the end of the month that'd be sweet.
PM today: I need you to finish this today. Oh and this extra job for another client has come out of nowhere, but that needs doing before the end of the day too. -
June 2017:busy with oop in my cs101 course
August 2017:Still busy with oop
And I continue to hit my head against the desk when he says writing classes in Python is exactly the same as classes in Java.1 -
Just had the worst time ever. Tried to register to a web portal of my ISP. Couldn't even get to the dashboard. It randomly redirects back to login page. Doesn't save info. Asks for info already given in the profile when I try to add my connection and then says info doesn't match with what's in the profile.. WTF!!! I just copy pasted it from the profiles info page. :/ just gave up after trying for the 50th time. I just can't understand how someone could design something with this level of shitty user experiance.
I would just like to say fuck you to the assholes who designed that worthless portal. :/ -
Why oh why, did the people behind InnoSetup ever think that Pascal was a good choice as a scripting language?
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If (method-exists (devrant->rantAboutBreakingUpWithGirlfriend ()){
Echo "This seriously sucks %#$@£¥";
}else {
Return false;
}
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