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Boss: I need you to start on this new project, how long will it take?
Me: well, hard to say with no specs whatsoever...
Boss: just your best guess
Me: 4 to 6 month I guess?
Boss: so 3 months it is. When can you start?
Me: no specs, sir...and I said 4 to 6
Boss: the specs are almost ready, I know you can simplify it
Boss: just start with the basic infrastructure already
(4 months later)
Boss: here you are the specs, they might change a little in behaviour and design, but all the main stuff is here
(Hands me a A3 with a total of 21 pictures in InDesign)
Me: o....Kay. what happens when I click here?
Boss: oh, we should still talk about the app workflow, I'll get you updated
(2 weeks and 16 total rewrites of the "specs" later)
Boss: you told me it was a 2 months job, why aren't you finished yet? We must deploy in 3 weeks!
HR Project update meeting.
1) recap of previous meeting
2) overview of what we will discuss in next meeting.3
Boss: hey mech eng, we need a setup modification
Mech: no prob, boss, we can have it prototyped in 3 weeks, industrialized in 2 months
Boss: oh, right then, go on
Boss: hey, Soft Eng, we need a functional modification
Soft Eng: no prob boss, we can develop it in 4 hours, tested and documented in 2 hours and integrated and shipped to the client by tomorrow morning
Boss: what??? One day?? You just need to edit a couple of lines of code! I want it ready in ten minutes top!7
My second job. I've been hired as a research specialist, not a developer, but they found out I could code during the interview.
Boss: hey, so we have our main product line that shares the control panel for all the models, right?
Me: unh, yeah
B: well, we need to know how it works.
B: yeah, I mean, we should have a manual with all the tech documentation so we know how everything works
M: ...and didn't you handle the tech docs to the developers?
B: uh...no, actually we requests feature to the devs (note: external company) with a phone call, or email...now we need the specs.
The other company (which is part of the same group) handles me the source code.
It is a huge, 25k lines of spaghetti written by at least 7 people, one at a time, uncommented.
After a month I produce a 50page doc with how everything works, after actually compiling my resignation letter 3 times.
M: boss, here the docs
B: fine, I'll take a look
15 mins later
B: this is not what we need! You cannot describe those algorithm like this!
( I described the algorithms with their block flow, with a punctual verbal description)
M: umh.. So how do you need it?
B: we need an excel table, with all the entering conditions on the rows and all the exit conditions in columns, and the description of the condition of work in the crossing cells!
M: are you even serious?7
One month ago. By email.
Boss: so, this client A has a problem with one of our devices and he believes that it's a bug in the software.
Me: all right then, what happens?
Boss: well, he says that the parameter P in the option menu does not changes the device's behaviour as it is supposed to. I'll forward you his mail. You will find attached an excell file with the results of his test performed with and without the parameter active.
Me: < read mail, read excell file > well, boss, his tests are performed in completely different conditions, how could he expect to infer a meaningful results from this?
Boss: damn, you are right. Send him a test plan and follow up.
Me: < send detailed test plan >
No answer in a week. Then...
Client: hi, there, I made this tests, I attached the excell with the results, can you check the software now?
Me: < read another bullshit filled excell file with none of the suggested test performed >
You know what? Just download the procedures you are using from the device and send them by mail, specifying the software version you are using so we can perform some tests here in the lab and get yo a solution asap.
No response. For a MONTH.
Super Boss: client A still has his problem, how could possibly be that it takes more than A FUCKING MONTH to solve his issue??
C: hey mate, what's the best tool to open up this 31.1M rows x 106 cols CSV file?
M: Umh...Pandas DataFrame or R DataTable I guess?
C: all right, Excell will do, thanks!
M: erhm...yeah, anytime?11
Ugh It's a browser tool, but for some reason it requires my OS to be "compatible" _|_
Bypassed it by changing the user agent2
Designer decide to have a meeting with stakeholders about UX/UI workflow for control panel of our new embedded system (no framework, no library, gui is bit per bit rendered on frame buffer).
A week later, still nothing on my table, not a mail, not a call. Meanwhile I wrote a framework, the control system, renderer, and messaging queues between tasks.
Wrote some widgets, a layout system and a view swtching mechanism, and a separate stack control to use a "back" button.
Now I am stuck for I do not know what should happen when clicking on various (non obvious) items on the touchscreen.
Fine, I'll ask the designer.
"Oh, I will write the workflow next week" (ETA time, 2 weeks. Seriously? You take a week to draw on Adobe Illustrator 20 screenshot with text and I have another week to write it from scratch in C?)
Ok, while you write it, just tell me what should happen when I click an active item.
"Well, we didn't talk about that. We just decided the colour of the icons on the screen..."
For fuck sake...8
Who the fuck writes a 200 line method with 52 if/else statements, 3 try-catches, 6 loops and only 1 comment saying //Array of system records. No dipshit I thought that was a Fucking interface. What happened to the whole keep it simple notion?!5
How do you deal with open space offices?
I find it quite difficult to focus, the constant chatting, the constant questions, phone ringing, surprise meeting, more question, arrays of interruptions and questions again. I believe I would be a lot more productive if left alone in the total, undiscontinued silence.
Have you found your escape, your zen, your inner focus? Please share, I need some ideas16
Looking for advice, serious advices.
I work in C.
Also, I work in Python.
I have worked for a couple of year in C++.
I have a fair knowledge of the Data Science workflow, and some experience in Machine Learning.
I have tinkered with some other languages (Java, Ruby, Go, JS among the others, nothing serious nor professional)
I'm the kind of person who needs constant problems to face in order to keep engaged, satisfied, happy. And I need to learn new stuff, or refining my knowledge constantly, or I stagnate. I believe that this is true for quite a share of people here.
I would like to spend some spare time (I seldom have) in a project. Personal projects are rarely good enough to improve one's cv, so I thought I could partecipate in some Open Source projects.
Does anyone here have some suggestion about some interesting and satisfying OSProject, or some general suggestion on the matter?
It would be so apreciated.2
Hi, is anyone here playing euro truck simulator 2?
Looking for someone to play the Multiplayer mod with 😊
Preferably a German speaker, since it's my native language 😅2
Ah, when you run into a bug that only has 7 google results, and have of them is in Russian for some reason. Gonna be a long day.5
If you're reviewing someone's code, do you run/test the code before reviewing the logic? Or do you review logic before running the code?4
Inherited a massive code base today... All JS is still being accessed via global scope... what are modules & modular design even... SOLID and DRY are things that clearly never crossed the devs mind during inception of this beast... and to top it all off all there is a weird BEM / SCSS style going on that somehow manages to confuse the IDE... thus all style helper utilities in the IDE are useless...3
*Triggers OAuth request through browser
Returns : success and valid tokens.
*Another project triggers the same process and code.
Returns : well shit nigga, I know I use the same logic as above but fuck you.
God fuckin dammit, I swear to heaven if this bitch ass code returns IO.Exception file is being used blah blah blah even though I'm using filestream and streamwriter. I will lose my shit in this fucking office1
I'm trying to set value of a kendo js property using value from dB. I would like to do something similar to
template : "#= dataItem.Item1 #"
But I can't use template for what I'm trying to set