Linux user on a Windows machine: "ugh, this is terrible."
Windows user on a Linux machine: "I don't know what I'm doing."

I understand now! I keep getting ++ on rants I wrote forever ago, and I finally understand the formula to become devrant famous:

1. Pick something that is mildly annoying and at least mildly tech related. For best reception, it should be something widespread, uncustomizable (and or difficult to customize so nobody does), and just mildly annoying so it's not too over played.

2. Post a long form rant, using almost the entire character limit to make this one, insignificant annoyance into a much bigger issue than it is. This is how the mainstream media does it, this is what the people want!!!!!

3. Somehow find a way to shift the blame onto one of the following groups: Microsoft, apple, arch, arch fanboys, arch haters, users, management, the fundamental laws of physics that allow computers to function, or in a worst case scenario start a flamewar (emacs sucks; arch is the best operating system; micro$hit; it's just Linux, if they wanted to call an OS GNU, they would finish fucking Hurd; etc. It's almost too easy)

4. Sit back and wait. You're now internet famous in a tiny portion of the internet. Congratulations. You've made it.

Interviewing a potential candidate...

Me: So, how would you rate your JavaScript knowledge?

Him: Pretty good, although I still don't really understand prototypal inheritance.

Me: Yeah, it's hard to understand something which doesn't exist.

...let the flaming begin 😈

Flamewar in 3...2...1...😈

I know I'm gonna catch heat here but if you insist on using vim or emacs on any OS that is in GUI mode just know I think you are mental... I get it you have shortcuts but so do sublime, atom or vs code. Plus intellisense.

Don't get me wrong I started with vim and have a special place in my heart but I know people only use it to beat their chests.

And just so everyone knows a little about me:

Spaces>tabs
Vim>emacs>nano
Linux>windows>macOS
I hate JavaScript
And mtn dew is a better drink than coke or Pepsi.

I'm sure it's repost, and I don't know who to credit for this (my fiancé sent it to me), but this is so true ->

is it flamewar week? shouldn't we wait till this weeks end?

vi and emacs are for teh noobz:

echo "{100 lines of teh codez}" > path/to.file

Welp. Time to ditch windows entirely! It's outlived it's usefulness, so my last windows computer is getting converted! So let's start a flamewar! To all the nonpurists out there, a question! Manjaro vs antergos? (I love arch but I'll be damned to have all my systems broken. I want at least one semi stable system)

!rant

Emacs vs Vim? Why not both!
I found a gem of an editor called Spacemacs which combines the power of Emacs and the editing capabilities of Vim! Already replaced intelliJ with spacemacs for my scala and Java projects :)

I hate this feeling.

Changing stuff with a greamripers scythe around my neck called doubt because the available data isn't too convincing.

Then having to go big or nothing as it is an ecosystem change (e.g. changing the cipher suites of TLS, changing protocol - e.g. HTTP 1.1 to 2) so it needs to be consistent as otherwise fun stuff could happen (fun as in the grim reaper cuts off my neck except a few centimeters and plays "now your head is off, now your head is on" ).

To top it off - just few seconds after the change has happened people coming up in the support channel.

My hands are - mysteriously - not sweaty then. Rather cold.

Lil prayer to the heavens and getting the whiskey bottle...

Opening an ongoing discussion in support channel....

And they're discussing whether the page needs to have an additional arrow for going back to the last page or if the default page navigation is enough.

Constantly using @all so everyone gets pissed off due to being pinged every few seconds in a channel that was meant for emergency support.

Now my hands go from a dark red to a bright red, my nostrils flare out, my adrenaline goes through the roof and I literally wanna murder people....

Those days.

I hate those days.

And I hate the timing of some people...

Like they're deliberately fucking with me without knowing it, like the universe told them explicitly to do so just to fuck with me.

*gooozfraba*

And of course, everything else is fine and running smooth like butter, except that said discussion now goes on in a total flamewar so I get even more pings.

Sucks to be in management.

You have way to many rooms where people can annoy you.

To top it off - after being grumpy and pissed and angry for people just annoying the fuck out of me, I have to mediate.

Yeah. Cause the usual person is on vacancy.

*slowly strangling the whiskey bottle like homer does with bart*

Turns out after 15 mins listening to enraged UX designer vs Frontend Team Lead that UX designer meant a completely different thing - uploaded wrong screenshot, whole discussion was unnecessary.

*Nah. Fuck it. Drinking whiskey*

Reminding everyone what the fucking frigging support channel is meant for and that penis fights aka who got the longest schlong don't belong there....

"Yeah it was a mistake, but it wasn't so bad"
...

You pinged fucking 32 people like it was the end of the world, you ignorant fucktwads.

For over 5 mins.

For fucking frigging nothing except your tiny dicks and shitty egos.

*Second round of whiskey*

Back to work after a wasted half hour.

What says monitoring?

Ah. Everything's working.

At least luck hasn't failed me.

Good server. Brave server.

Then I hear this lil voice in my head: no.

The servers know your personality.

They're afraid. Terrified.

Somehow that thought makes me giggle always...

Childish? Maybe. But it helps on those days.... Funnily enough, remaining 3 hours noone said anything in any chat channel.

"I wonder why, I wonder how...."... *hum*

You may not enter a flamewar if you haven't tested the options for at least a year.

Emacs vs vim? Not reeeeally used both? You're out.
Allman vs 1TBS? Same.
Which OS?...