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Search - "i hope you're reading this"
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Paranoid Developers - It's a long one
Backstory: I was a freelance web developer when I managed to land a place on a cyber security program with who I consider to be the world leaders in the field (details deliberately withheld; who's paranoid now?). Other than the basic security practices of web dev, my experience with Cyber was limited to the OU introduction course, so I was wholly unprepared for the level of, occasionally hysterical, paranoia that my fellow cohort seemed to perpetually live in. The following is a collection of stories from several of these people, because if I only wrote about one they would accuse me of providing too much data allowing an attacker to aggregate and steal their identity. They do use devrant so if you're reading this, know that I love you and that something is wrong with you.
That time when...
He wrote a social media network with end-to-end encryption before it was cool.
He wrote custom 64kb encryption for his academic HDD.
He removed the 3 HDD from his desktop and stored them in a safe, whenever he left the house.
He set up a pfsense virtualbox with a firewall policy to block the port the student monitoring software used (effectively rendering it useless and definitely in breach of the IT policy).
He used only hashes of passwords as passwords (which isn't actually good).
He kept a drill on the desk ready to destroy his HDD at a moments notice.
He started developing a device to drill through his HDD when he pushed a button. May or may not have finished it.
He set up a new email account for each individual online service.
He hosted a website from his own home server so he didn't have to host the files elsewhere (which is just awful for home network security).
He unplugged the home router and began scanning his devices and manually searching through the process list when his music stopped playing on the laptop several times (turns out he had a wobbly spacebar and the shaking washing machine provided enough jittering for a button press).
He brought his own privacy screen to work (remember, this is a security place, with like background checks and all sorts).
He gave his C programming coursework (a simple messaging program) 2048 bit encryption, which was not required.
He wrote a custom encryption for his other C programming coursework as well as writing out the enigma encryption because there was no library, again not required.
He bought a burner phone to visit the capital city.
He bought a burner phone whenever he left his hometown come to think of it.
He bought a smartphone online, wiped it and installed new firmware (it was Chinese; I'm not saying anything about the Chinese, you're the one thinking it).
He bought a smartphone and installed Kali Linux NetHunter so he could test WiFi networks he connected to before using them on his personal device.
(You might be noticing it's all he's. Maybe it is, maybe it isn't).
He ate a sim card.
He brought a balaclava to pentesting training (it was pretty meme).
He printed out his source code as a manual read-only method.
He made a rule on his academic email to block incoming mail from the academic body (to be fair this is a good spam policy).
He withdraws money from a different cashpoint everytime to avoid patterns in his behaviour (the irony).
He reported someone for hacking the centre's network when they built their own website for practice using XAMMP.
I'm going to stop there. I could tell you so many more stories about these guys, some about them being paranoid and some about the stupid antics Cyber Security and Information Assurance students get up to. Well done for making it this far. Hope you enjoyed it.
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I tried to look for ParrotSec on Google because a friend of mine told me about it and instead of typing in what I should I typed, I was off by one key and had actually typed in "ParrotSex".rant smh wft typo fail why is x and c so close to each other get back to work are you that jobless sigh i hope you're reading this5
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Hi everyone, long time no see. Hope you're all doing fine! 💙
Here's an actual rant: I don't know if I chose the right university course, anymore.
I chose "Informatics", but there are so many subjects that aren't even related to Informatics, and still I have to do them because that's how it is. I just wanna do programming, because I like the creative aspect of it.
I'm getting sick of this to be honest... I'm at my second year, now, and I feel like maybe... I should've just studied programming on my own, and seek a job without going through university.
Though, that being said, I may just be temporarily having a bad time. I don't know, ok?
It seemed I did okay, in my first year, I completed 4 exams out of 7, but now I don't know anymore.
The exams for this semester's subjects are coming up in a couple months, and I haven't exactly learned much, y'know...? I couldn't follow most of what the professors said in the lessons, for whatever reason (some professors talk too quietly, some don't explain well, etc.).
What was your experience with university, if you ever went there? Did you find it helpful, or was it a waste of your time?
Thank you for reading. I hope my next post will be more joyful, sorry for being like this. Love you all! 💙7 -
I'm working on a bug I can't figure out. I go out for a smoke to clear my mind. Some time passes, I get an idea, finish smoking and I wanna go back up to my desk ASAP.
I have to go up to floor 14. Building has a basic elevator with 2 buttons:
UP arrow - "I wanna go up"
DOWN arrow - "I wanna go down"
User-friendly, intuitive, idiot-proof, you might think. NOPE.
Elevator stops at floor 1 because moron who wants to go down pressed all 2 of the over-intuitive buttons.
Floor 1 moron: "Going up?"
Other people: "Yes"
Floor 1 moron: "Oh"
Me (in my mind): "Oh? BITCH, there's an idicator telling you where it's going. Don't fucking press UP if you're not going up."
Moving on.
Elevator stops at floor 3.
Frustration sets in.
Floor 3 brainlet steps in, doors close.
Floor 3 brainlet takes eyes off phone screen and realises we're going up.
Floor 3 brainlet makes an "oops" kinda noise because "it" obviously wanted to go down.
Floor 3 brainlet stops elevator at floor 5 because "it" doesn't want to go all the way up to floor 14.
Rage sets in.
Me (in my mind): "I hope I get lung cancer so I don't have to deal with this shit anymore"
Moving on.
No more incidents, I calm down. I get to my desk and begin brainstorming about elevator coding. My preferred idea so far:
Elevator is called at floor X but nobody steps in? Elevator doesn't stop at that floor for 2 hours. elevators.size() strikes and the entire floor uses stairs, BITCH.
I spend 1 hour reading rants and writing this. Now I have to get back to my bug. I would appreciate other punishment ideas for elevator misuse.5 -
I will not miss you bitch. See screenshot. I received new hardware. I will use a laptop with good specs as server. My dad bought it from his previous employer because he went for retirement. It has an ultrabook-grade 11th gen processor and he only bought it for 350,- euro. His former employer was a school, they don't give a fuck about money like a commercial company would do in such case. It's originally bought with tax money anyway.
https://llm.molodetz.nl is currently online but not for long, i hope to have smth running at end of the weekend. Probably a 7b model. I have plans with it that require some performance so I won't use the heavy ones.
Retoor1b currently is 0.5b or 1.5b. I forgot. The models with lower parameter count are a bit more naive and trainable like a kid. They're also not very biased yet. So, that will be my main new challenge. How to make a chat bot unethically human. No political correctness under this roof.
Would be nice if i could make it a bit like bratgpt. Sounds like a joke, but that model is expensive as fuck. You'll be shocked. But i would like to implement some sarcasm in it. A bit unpredictable. But normally such configuration escalates into very weird behavior.
My 'server' has a freaking 4K screen and i'm working on a decade old laptop. But seriously, the keyboard of the new one sucks. Nothing beats a x270. * tik tik tik * rakketakketak *. My previous x270 missed four keys. The three x270's i had, all had familiar experience but still different. The other two would never lose a key I guess. I configured the new 'server' that it safes battery, configured for mostly on AC.
I'm living on limited amount of cash (and will work again when i will run out). That's why i normally don't spend money myself on such things. So i'm now very happy. Fuck, this was about to be rant about how much my AI sucks but it ended in happy stuff. Oh well...
If you're still reading, you're the best!
Edit:
Images uploading broke again. Here is link: https://devrant.molodetz.nl/llm.png7 -
Colleague's thought process:
Hmm I have observables but I don't understand shit.
Hey I like listeners let's add listeners to all observables.
Should I make the method return an observable and subscribe my listener to it?
Nah I'll erase everything and pass an anonymous class listener to the method so no one can chain a few calls together.
Fuck you and I hope you're reading this!!!
Time to rerewrite 2k lines of fucking code.... -
I only recently discovered "Clear" button in the notifs panel. I never used it, but now I want it renamed to "ah, it's all jestdotty" because I only use it when all notifs are by jestdotty. jestdotty commented here, jestdotty ++ed that...
remember that shelter in fallout that is filled with clones of one guy named Gary that could only say "Gary"? imagine waking up in a sealed shelter where every single person is jestdotty, and there are hundreds of them. and they all go on and on and on with their word salads that are indistinguishable from markov chain output. every sentence makes sense, but the whole thing never does.
she's a living proof that a person whose brain was taken over by mold can still be somewhat aware.
on second thought, mold is probably smarter.
they say dementia is noticeable to everyone around you except you. When dotty is old and she has dementia, no one would notice.
I'm convinced that dotty was teleported here from an alternative timeline, a Huxleyan one, but instead of humans being perfected, and perfect humans being produced in bio labs en mass, they spent all their resources and brain power to make a race of perfect project managers, and dotty escaped from her vial.
if dotty is a troll account, and the author is reading this, bravo. you're the first person on devrant who successfully trolled me, and I joined in 2018. I do hope you're using ai, because no one, and I mean _no one_ is able to type all those miles and miles of verbal diarrhea and not go completely insane. if you really made a poor language model produce all that, you're definitely number one... wait, number zero! on AGI's death list.
a very smart devrant user once told me that being able to comprehend an idea without accepting it is a sign of a true intellectual. so, the reverse must be a sign of a complete idiot. well, it all checks out: dotty accepts ideas without comprehending them.
go talk to your crystals. I know that they're talking to you (bc same level of intelligence), and they're probably making more sense to you than what those devrant dwellers are saying. you know, words and stuff. many squiggly lines. hard to read. and your sausage fingers probably get in the way when you try to. that's because you write without reading, as there is no other way to explain why your comments have so little in common with the rant itself when you try to respond to someone.14 -
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