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Search - "recruiters once again"
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Fuck the memes.
Fuck the framework battles.
Fuck the language battles.
Fuck the titles.
Anybody who has been in this field long enough knows that it doesn't matter if your linus fucking torvalds, there is no human who has lived or ever will live that simultaneously understands, knows, and remembers how to implement, in multiple languages, the following:
- jest mocks for complex React components (partial mocks, full mocks, no mocks at all!)
- token cancellation for asynchronous Tasks in C#
- fullstack CRUD, REST, and websocket communication (throw in gRPC for bonus points)
- database query optimization, seeding, and design
- nginx routing, https redirection
- build automation with full test coverage and environment consideration
- docker container versioning, restoration, and cleanup
- internationalization on both the front AND backends
- secret storage, security audits
- package management, maintenence, and deprecation reviews
- integrating with dozens of APIs
- fucking how to center a div
and that's a _comically_ incomplete list; barely scratches the surface of the full range of what a dev can encounter in a given day of writing software
have many of us probably done one or even all of these at different times? surely.
but does that mean we are supposed to draw that up at a moment's notice some cookie-cutter solution like a fucking robot and spit out an answer on a fax sheet?
recruiters, if you read this site (perhaps only the good ones do anyway so its wasted oxygen), just know that whoever you hire its literally the luck of the draw of how well they perform during the interview. sure, perhaps some perform better, but you can never know how good someone is until they literally start working at your org, so... have fun with that.
Oh and I almost forgot, again for you recruiters, on top of that list which you probably won't ever understand for the entirety of your lives, you can also add writing documentation, backup scripts, and orchestrating / administrating fucking JIRA or actually any somewhat technical dashboard like a CMS or website, because once again, the devs are the only truly competent ones - and i don't even mean in a technical sense, i mean in a HUMAN sense of GETTING SHIT DONE IN GENERAL.
There's literally 2 types of people in the world: those who sit around drawing flow charts and talking on the phone all day, and those WHO LITERALLY FUCKING BUILD THE WORLD
why don't i just run the whole fucking company at this point? you guys are "celebrating" that you made literally $5 dollars from a single customer and i'm just sitting here coding 12 hours a day like all is fine and well
i'm so ANGRY its always the same no matter where i go, non-technical people have just no clue, even when you implore them how long things take, they just nod and smile and say "we'll do it the MVP way". sure, fine, you can do that like 2 or 3 times, but not for 6 fucking months until you have a stack of "MVPs" that come toppling down like the garbage they are.
How do expect to keep the "momentum" of your customers and sales (I hope you can hear the hatred of each of these market words as I type them) if the entire system is glued together with ducktape because YOU wanted to expedite the feature by doing it the EASY way instead of the RIGHT way. god, just forget it, nobody is going to listen anyway, its like the 5th time a row in my life
we NEED tests!
we NEED to know our code coverage!
we NEED to design our system to handle large amounts of traffic!
we NEED detailed logging!
we NEED to start building an exception database!
BILBO BAGGINS! I'm not trying to hurt you! I'm trying to help you!
Don't really know what this rant was, I'm just raging and all over the place at the universe. I'm going to bed.20 -
Another episode in the search of a job and it involves recruiters again
Last week tuesday:
> d69: 'Hi this is derpina69 from someFancyShmancyCompany, we got a position for you that might be interesting for you, here is the job description, would you be willing to meet us?'
> Me: 'Well it seems interesting enough, how about we set up a videocall meeting since this is a informative meeting, once ypur end customer is interested in my profile, i am willing to come over'
> d69: 'sure, i'll get back to you to alert attendees for this meeting, i'll get right on it'
Days go by without any word nor even an ical...
Two days ago:
> me: ' hello, pinging you again for a sitrep on the meeting, would like to hear from you and your attendees, wkr: neatnerdprime'
Nothing, until today.
> d69: 'hi sorry for the late reply, we really would like you to come ovzr because we don't like videocalls, are you available on these dates?'
MOTHERFUCKING SHITFACED CALF, YOU REALLY NEEDED TO HAVE MORE THEN A WEEK TO FIGURE THAT OUT, GODDAMN EVEN A TODDLER CAN BE QUICKER IN A RESPONSE ON WHAT HE OR SHE WOULD LIKE!
> me: ' sure, lets pick this date, hope you hace coffee ready'
> d69: 'we don't serve coffee for first meetings'
Mfw.webm
What the actual fuck!?!?
You're going to be classified down to my shit tier opportunities, and you better buy some goddamn coffee. All-dieties-be-damned!15 -
Fml... you keep getting the weekly discussions right on point.
I started with the last guys right out of university... just out of Hospital.
With a brand new degree and a Crohn’s diagnosis I stepped into the first place I found hiring. They were good guys, after a junior dev... to get stuck in their muck.
I did! I nailed project after project, tricky development after tricky development. I spent 5 years with them and over those years things changed.
They had a mass cull... the original idea was to get rid of the useless middle managers, the ones managing other managers being managed by another manager for no real reason.... the ones that do fuck all with their day.
But the fucking idiots upstairs put the job of working out the cull in the shitty middle managers hands.
So, instead, they cut the titles senior, junior and everything in between. Everyone was just a thing, no senior things, no junior things. Just things.
Once they’d done that they said “we’ll we have this many things, they’re all the same, let’s get rid of the things with the highest pay checks because the other things can do it just as well for less money”...
And that’s how they cut 50% of their senior techs.
I was one of the ones left behind but the damage became obvious quick. The middle managers barked out orders at people who couldn’t complete them, and everything went to shit.
My team was rebranded twice in as many years... an obvious ploy for funding, but the cost of the team fluctuated like hell because contractors had to fill the senior positions at 3 times the cost.
Then the managers started barking out Self contradictory orders. Do this, but this way...
This would work, but not that way... try explaining that to a group of non-technical, useless as fuck middle managers. It took months, and shit flows downstream so we got the bulk of the hassle for it.
Then my boy Morpheus, got a warning... they threatened his contract for saying “this will work, but not that way”.
He kept the contract, and the manager giving him the warning said he didn’t think he should... but he, and all the middle fuckwits don’t have the balls to stand up against nonsense.
That was the breaking point for me, I handed in my notice and told them a month was what they could have.
I didn’t have a position or an idea of where to go, a few long-standing offers as back up in a pinch but not the perfect job.
On the Thursday I decided I was done, I let my manager know. Then I boshed the fuck out of my CV and updated my profiles.
My phone started ringing off the hook, a senior NG2/MEAN/Ionic dev on the market is like candy to recruiters. They’re lovely too.
I went to a few interviews that were okay but not great. Then a company got in touch... one that I immediately recognised as an IT book publisher. They said they were looking for NG/NG2 devs, senior. winner! Set up the interview.
So I’d spent the weekend with the missus, about an hour away from mine and 2 from the interview. I hadn’t planned on staying there but at 6ish she looked over at me and said “do you have to go” <- imagine that with puppy dog eyes from a gorgeous Slovenian lass.
I folded quicker than a shitty pancake toss.
We spent the night together but that meant I had to be up at 6, to go back to mine, iron my interview clothes and make it to the train to manage the interview. Fuck. I did it, but I was at the interview wired on caffeine and struggling to be awake and coherent. I still managed, that’s what I do, I make do and try to do well regardless of the situation.
That comes from being ill btw, when you’re dealt a shitty hand you learn to play it well.
They were good guys, the heads all knew what they were on about, not the middle management bs I was used to.
They demoed me live with an ng1 test, which was awesome as hell to play with.
We chatted, friendly and cool guys! I loved the place.
The end of the week they got me in for second round. Ng2 and competence test, again I went for it!
Positive feedback and a “we’ll get back to you ASAP, should be by Tuesday”...
Tuesday was the Tuesday before the Friday I was due to leave the old company... I was cutting it close.
On the Monday the offers started rolling in, a few C# ASP MVC positions, cool but I was holding out for the guys I’d interviewed with.
Then Tuesday comes around, I’m nervous as fuck but it’s okay because I knew regardless I can pay the rent in December with one of the offers.
Then said yes!
The thing that seemed most important in the process was my ability to talk to any fucker. If you’re coming up to interview, talk to everyone, the grocer, your barista, the binmen, anyone. Practice that skill above all others.
I start tomorrow morning! I can’t wait.
Final thought: middle managers are taints.7 -
Trying to switch my job. Applied for a well known company. Gave an interview today. I don't fucking get the obsession of these developer recruiters so fixated on data structures and algorithms. I know it's a massive part of computer science but guess there is no fucking room left to innovate in there. There are legitimate researcher teams working for implementation of these barebones inside system foundations. No general software developer gives a fuck about this piece of shit discipline of study. You wanna know why they propagate this as the panacea to test people because it's fucking easy. Give a project to somebody as interview procedure, it'll take time to bring out an interesting problem and an interesting solution to that. Sorry to say but all these data structure enthusiasts are nothing better than board game enthusiasts.
Also why can't you refer existing solutions to create your solution. I've seen some good problems which actually require you to think. But again those are heavy and can't be tested so you're left with reversing a fucking linked list with O(1) auxillary space. Fuck me ig.
Moreover, what the fuck is wrong with the moral policing internet crowd. Its so sad. I've hardly seen anybody rant about this piece of shit system put in place to push the absolute dead-end nutcases up the ladder. Every other search for it returns a Quora link with some Indian guy complaining about his interviews and in the comments you have the same scholars sitting in their data structure throne imparting knowledge about how data structure holds the fabric of reality together.
I don't hate data structures and algorithms as a subject. It is cool and quite extensive but once you try to make that as a metric of all the knowledge in the world, you've lost my drift. Maybe I'm just angry with the state of things. Maybe I'm just angry with token Quora crowd.4 -
It feels like recruiters do not even bother taking a look at your cv, "the third page", your website and your gitlab projects.
Why is that?7 -
I'm wondering if recruiters are just as irritating everywhere or that this is just the shitty situation we have in the Netherlands.
I was once called by an unknown number and heard a typical recruiter story. Since i never heard of or spoke to this person i kindly asked where he'd get my information from. Since mr, Recruiter didn't answer and just kept selling his great position i hung up.
He called back.
I picked up the phone again and he told me there were connection issues. I once again asked where he found my number. And again he just acted like he didnt hear me and sells his great position.
Hangs up and blocks the number. Go f(...) yourself damn recruiter!7 -
Recruiter answered me
Rejected
They decided to choose another candidate because... [the reason will be announced at the end of this rant]
...
I was working on my project
I am learning new tech
And shitting 10 times a day from these jobs and recruiters, the usual me
HE the recruiter contacted me a few days ago
HE offered me nodejs position
I AM the one who was HONEST and told him i dont work in nodejs i work in java
HE then continued the conversation
HE offered me a java spring boot backend position
I AM the one who read the requirements
🔥🔥🔥
REQUIREMENTS: 3+ years of experience
🔥🔥🔥
I AM the one who told him i have 5+ years of java spring boot and 8+ years of java experience.
HE said great I'll contact the clients and let them know
TWO WEEKS LATER OF SILENCE
"unfortunately they chose some other candidate because they need someone with 10+ years of experience for this role"
---
Are you fuc
Fucking
Ki
Wasting my Fucking time?
You decide to slam into my peace and offer me a job position with ALL THE REQUIREMENTS I FULFILL, JUST TO RANDOMLY REJECT ME FOR AN INVALID FUCKING REASON?
If i said i had 10 years of experience
They would reject me because i dont have 15+
If i had 15+ years of experience i would get rejected for not having 30+
If i had 30+ years of experience fucking your whole family and bombing them to dust like in palestine till their bones die and worms eat your fucking down syndrome brains, they would say i need 160+ year of experience
Fyck you
Truly.
From the bottom
Of my fucking balls and cum
From my fucking dick
From my fucking shit and asshole
From my vomit
I wish you death.
I wish karma to kill all of their family members (the clients who rejected me) slowly one by one. Final destination accidents type of deaths. Truly i hope you and wish you the worst.
[Here the intro continues]
I will repeat again:
- REQUIREMENTS: 3+ years
I have:
- 8+ years
They rejected me because:
- I don't have 10+ years
I told all of this to recruiter now. Politely but because im losing my patience i was very very passive aggressive with my response. In the context of
1. I TRULY dont give a fuck for your rejection (which is the truth)
2. Your clients are low IQ dumb as fucking retards because they choose people based on the YEARS OF EXPERIENCE
3. Explained him: IF YOU ARE SO FUCKING STUPID TO UNDERSTAND THIS COMMON SENSE, I'LL EXPLAIN IT TO YOU: CHOOSING DEVS SOLELY BASED ON THE YEARS OF EXPERIENCE MEANS YOU ARE FUCKING STUPUD. There are devs with 2 years of experience who are WAY smarter better efficient and more knowledgeable than some devs with 5-7 OR MORE years of experience. Thats because some people progress better faster or more efficiently in 2 years while others need 5 years. Etc. You're fucking stupid as shit for this sole decision
4. Indirectly let him know that i am not pissed off for rejection. I am pissed off for my time being FUCKING WASTED.
5. Also pointed him out: your job description says its looking for a dev with 3+ years of experience i told you i have 8+ and you reject me because I don't have 10+. Are you Fucking stupid? Fuck you. Truly fuck off. Get the fuck off my dick and eat the shits i shit straight out of my asshole. I'll shit in your fucking mouth you fucking bitch. Your wife also probably fucks some other guys while you're at work and she doesnt respect you or love you. In the matter of fact give me your fucking wife/gf and I'll Fucking fuck her to death
To the clients once again: Truly i hope Hamas fires a missile at israel but misses and hits your fucking home and your whole fucking family blows up to atoms and particles. Completely erased from existence.14 -
I've finally quit my job today! It's been too long a time in the making. I was absolutely terrified but turned it into a positive discussion (considering the circumstances).
Looking forward to jumping into the interview grind once again, to return after a short sabbatical. It won't be pretty. Shitty jobs are abundant. Recruiters who know jack shit are incoming. Brace yourselves. Here's to finding something worthwhile! Cheers2 -
The History of The Scriping Lanuages (JavaScript, Python, and especially PHP):
Once upon a time someone found themselves stranded in the middle of the wilderness without nothing to eat or drink. Having watched Bear Grills as a kid, they grabbed a chunk of elephant excrement and started drinking from it, and the poop saved their life. In that moment, under those very specific and dire circumstances, in that very small scale, excrement was an appropriate solution; but that person did not ever drink from poop again.
Alas, upon hearing this tale, people from around the continent got fascinated with this new extraordinary recipe that had the capacity of saving lives! This new treat became viral. Shit juice, shit pie, and even a shitmulated Microsoft 98! Businesses built their foundations with shit, shit factories, individual shit brokers and recruiters! Everyone wanted a piece of this convenient and disruptive delicacy!
But, alas! as that first person knew, these implementations were not much more than mere shit1