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Search - "this guy is going places"
Apparently this guy's pull request claims that his code is "very fast" (Official Linux github repository). I can't stop laughing looking at the file changes xD
File changes: https://github.com/torvalds/linux/...
"four million dollars"
TL;DR. Seriously, It's way too long.
That's all the management really cares about, apparently.
It all started when there were heated, war faced discussions with a major client this weekend (coonts, I tell ye) and it was decided that a stupid, out of context customisation POC had that was hacked together by the "customisation and delivery " (they know to do neither) team needed to be merged with the product (a hot, lumpy cluster fuck, made in a technology so old that even the great creators (namely Goo-fucking-gle) decided that it was their worst mistake ever and stopped supporting it (or even considering its existence at this point)).
Today morning, I my manager calls me and announces that I'm the lucky fuck who gets to do this shit.
Now being the defacto got admin to our team (after the last lead left, I was the only one with adequate experience), I suggested to my manager "boss, here's a light bulb. Why don't we just create a new branch for the fuckers and ask them to merge their shite with our shite and then all we'll have to do it build the mixed up shite to create an even smellier pile of shite and feed it to the customer".
"I agree with you mahaDev (when haven't you said that, coont), but the thing is <insert random manger talk here> so we're the ones who'll have to do it (again, when haven't you said that, coont)"
I said fine. Send me the details. He forwarded me a mail, which contained context not amounting to half a syllable of the word "context". I pinged the guy who developed the hack. He gave me nothing but a link to his code repo. I said give me details. He simply said "I've sent the repo details, what else do you require?"
Dafuq? Dude, gimme some spice. Dafuq you done? Dafuq libraries you used? Dafuq APIs you used? Where Dafuq did you get this old ass checkout on which you've made these changes? AND DAFUQ IS THIS TOOL SUPPOSED TO DO AND HOW DOES IT AFFECT MY PRODUCT?
Anyway, since I didn't get a lot of info, I set about trying to just merge the code blindly and fix all conflicts, assuming that no new libraries/APIs have been used and the code is compatible with our master code base.
Enter delivery head. 2nd motherfucker.
This coont neither has technical knowledge nor the common sense to ask someone who knows his shit to help out with the technical stuff.
I find out that this was the half assed moron who agreed to a 3 day timeline (and our build takes around 13 hours to complete, end to end). Because fuck testing. They validated the their tool, we've tested our product. There's no way it can fail when we make a hybrid cocktail that will make the elephants foot look like a frikkin mojito!
Anywho, he comes by every half-mother fucking-hour and asks whether the build has been triggered.
Bitch. I have no clue what is going on and your people apparently don't have the time to give a fuck. How in the world do you expect me to finish this in 5 minutes?
Anyway, after I compile for the first time after merging, I see enough compilations to last a frikkin life time. I kid you not, I scrolled for a complete minute before reaching the last one.
Again, my assumption was that there are no library or dependency changes, neither did I know the fact that the dude implemented using completely different libraries altogether in some places.
Now I know it's my fault for not checking myself, but I was already having a bad day.
I then proceeded to have a little tantrum. In the middle of the floor, because I DIDN'T HAVE A CLUE WHAT CHANGES WERE MADE AND NOBODY CARED ENOUGH TO GIVE A FUCKING FUCK ABOUT THE DAMN FUCK.
Lo and behold, everyone's at my service now. I get all things clarified, takes around an hour and a half of my time (could have been done in 20 minutes had someone given me the complete info) to find out all I need to know and proceed to remove all compilation problems.
Hurrah. In my frustration, I forgot to push some changes, and because of some weird shit in our build framework, the build failed in Jenkins. Multiple times. Even though the exact same code was working on my local setup (cliche, I know).
In any case, it was sometime during sorting out this mess did I come to know that the reason why the 2nd motherfucker accepted the 3 day deadline was because the total bill being slapped to the customer is four fucking million USD.
Greed. Wow. The fucker just sacrificed everyone's day and night (his team and the next) for 4mil. And my manager and director agreed. Four fucking million dollars. I don't get to see a penny of it, I work for peanut shells, for 15 hours, you'll get bonuses and commissions, the fucking junior Dev earns more than me, but my manager says I'm the MVP of the team, all I get is a thanks and a bad rating for this hike cycle.
4mil usd, I learnt today, is enough to make you lick the smelly, hairy balls of a Neanderthal even though the money isn't truly yours.4
I am annoyed af...
As I slowly get clarity about this, I realised what a trash place we have created for ourselves and other species too.
I am Product Manager and now the ratio of PM:Dev is usually on average 1:10.
Now when a dev goes job hunting, they apply few places, get some calls, their skills are tested and validated, they get an offer, join and perform tasks that are given to them. No fucking rocket science. Everything can be learnt.
Now let me explain you the fuck up corporates have created for PM space. They want the exact match. You heard me right. EXACT FUCKING MATCH. One should be from the same domain, same industry, have had same past experience, must know how to code, can design, knows business, handles sales and customers, and everything. Cool. And little misalignment and you are kicked out.
What the fuck!!! What about skills? Well.. we don't give a fuck about your skills.
And hang on.. the shit country I belong to has additional filtering criteria of having B.Tech and MBA from top tier college else you are a worthless person not skilled enough to even clean the office toilet.
Alright, so until now I used to think I am retard lacking skills or unable to crack the interview. Turns out I am performing well in job search. Out of 600+ applications, I got ~25 calls and ~5 interviews and ~2 references in 4 weeks. This is a fucking good score. Can you believe it?
How do I know? Well I discuss my failures more than my success and I started talking to folks who too were interviewing and when I said I am struggling and these are the numbers, they were astonished and they said they are struggling through 8+ months with almost zero success.
I was talking to a chic this evening and she even had post graduation and good brands on her resume yet she is struggling. Another guy going through the same and many others too.
The market is rigged. I always wanted to go into business. I stuck around into Tech and found the PM role. It aligned with business but in tech side so I fucking loved it.
Then slowly realised how everyone just follows the sheep mentality with absolutely no creativity and people just copy each other. The role totally lacks innovation and it's all about building enough to raise next round of capital.
FUCK. THAT. SHIT.
I AM STARTING TO HATE THIS ROLE. SOMETHING THAT I LOVED BUT NOW I HATE IT WITH BURNING PASSION.
ABSOLUTE NO VALUE ADD TO LIFE OR SOCIETY.
I soooo want to go back to my business world or maybe become a simple tester who happily floats around breaking products.
I totally regret not learning how to code. HOW MUCH I FUCKING HATE MYSELF FOR NOT KNOWING HOW TO CODE.
Surrounded by sheeps and everyone has a herd mentality where I currently work.
One Dumbfuck today said AI/ML can be implemented without any database so why are we not considering that option and wasting time analysing data via ML. Fuck me in arse with a rock dildo.
These guys are getting paid millions for just being dumb and other dumbs around agree to him because he somehow has an experience of some client who had an ex-dev who once worked on Business Intelligence.
I am soo annoyed with this culture. When will the system tip?!!!!
I need more freedom, innovation, and creativity to create value and solve impacting problems instead of chasing degrees or valuation.11
Yes this is a rant about parents and work but I don't care!
So looks like my parents are going to kick me out because I don't have a full time job and according to them, I'm not looking...
I currently work in retail and have for the past 5 years and started working day 1 that I could have, been applying for IT positions when I'm one of the highest qualified on my area but get turned down so they can pay a teenager half the amount, apply for big retail chains that are "always hiring" like Coles, woolies and Kmart, get turned fucking down.
Don't qualify for government assistance as I'm just out of the earnings bracket, can't afford my own places, don't have my licence yet so I'm fucked...
But hey, atleast my parents will be rid of me and just dis-own me like my middle brother until I have a kid or they need tech support.
Why is getting work so fucking hard when you're qualified, I'm willing to even be a call centre guy but as soon as job possibilities come up I get fucked over time and time again -,-2
So, we are a web development and marketing agency. That's fine... except now it seems that we are a marketing and web development agency. Where the head marketing guy feels it's his job to head up web development.
This is NOT what I signed up for.
When you offer web services to a client, the one meeting with the client should understand at least basic stuff, and know when to pull in a heavyweight for more questions. Instead, our web team is summarized by a guy who listens to 80's rock music in a shared office (used to be just me in there) and spends his days trying to get 30-year-olds on Facebook to click an ad.
He was on the phone yesterday with some ecommerce / CRM support, trying to tell them that they have an API, that "it's a simple thing, I'm sure you have it", and that's all we need to do business with them. Which is not his call, it's my call, but for some reason he's the one on the phone asking for API info. The last time I took someone else's word on an API, I underquoted the work and eventually found out that their "API" was nothing more than a cron job which places a CSV file on your server via FTP.
Anyway, we now have a full-time marketer and two part-time interns, with another ad out for an AdWords specialist. Meanwhile, I'm senior dev with a server admin / retired senior dev, and if we don't focus on hiring a front-end guy soon we're going to lose business.
Long story short, I'm getting sick of having a guy who does not understand basic web concepts run the show because he's the one who talks to the client.3