I need to focus on work..........
ENGAGE TUNNEL VISION

I'm a shit programmer

I'm 29 and I assumed that by this point I'd be successful some way or another, either by being financially abundant or technically complex.

I am not, just mildly accomplished instead.

Here'a list of thing I consider challenges that I have:
* I tend to tunnel vision ideas that are terrible or execute them poorly because of said tunnel vision.
* I don't hone my skills, I usually consider my potentials the same as my actuals, as if I achieved everything already, probably product of ny huge ego.
* I communicate poorly with my boss, I sidetrack into thing he didn't ask
* I'm a mess when it comes to reading documentation online, I have the attention span of a fucking fish.
* I work alone, I have 0 networking status or skills.
* I take huge amounts of time to finish my side projects
* Of all the side projects I started I only finished one, the ones that I couldn't finish usually bevame insabely stressful things, so much and so many that I questioned myself many times if I should be a programmer or not.
* I have little discipline or organization, if I work in more than one thing at a time, i get really anxious and stressed.

I am not saying I'm not competent, I think I am (I'm looking at you imaginary scary recruiter googling this online), I'm just not really proud of myself

I hate it when you get tunnel vision and forget simple solutions exist. Especially when you make yourself sound dumb in doing so.

Spent a bunch of time trying to wrap my head around how you could send data from one website to another and dynamically load content and all this other stuff, only to be told a GET call would make it a lot easier.

With my head in the clouds thinking of complex solutions I said "can you open a new page with a GET call?"

Can you. Open. A new page. With a GET call.

Yes, dumbass, of course you can. Here I am trying to figure out how it's possible to intercept data from a different websites HTTP call to the server and I asked if it's possible to do what ~literally~ a link does.

I need to stop finishing my sprints work within the first 3-4 days of the sprint.

I get so excited to get work that I loose my sense of time and space so I finish it all in one go...

Now I’m gonna be bored again for 2-3 weeks 😫

So, I recently switched from a windows laptop (XPS 13) to a macbook pro and my friend has been bugging me about whether I'll ever go back. He is a wannabe frontend developer and wants a windows laptop. No matter what I tell him, he seems to have tunnel vision. What are your thoughts on this? And what is your personal experience with Windows vs Apple for development?
(Pls don't kill me, it's my first post on devrant, thnx)

In my freshman year of college, I ran into a grouping of circular dependencies that were so intertwined it would have warranted a total rewrite. I spent 28 hours fixing it. I took over my dorms common area, had about 5 movies playing on repeat for background noise, and stayed in the same seat for the whole period.
It was rewarding, but also showed me how easily I can get tunnel vision on a task. Now that I've graduated and moved on to a real job, I have certain back ups to make sure I don't forget to eat or take my breaks. I almost got in trouble for not taking them when I first started.

Working on a feature for about a month, give or take. And the whole way through, I'm feeling worried that what I have is very little in relation to how much time I've spent on it.

Well, guess what? I send the PR, and see all the commits put together -- and ONLY THEN I'm able to realize it's a WAY bigger contribution than in my wildest fucking dreams.

So now I'm thinking shit, I may have gone too far in a few places...

Anyway, the feature is not a 100% done: this is just the first step lmao. But I'm glad to get a break from this, though it was a very cool thing to get to work on, I definitively got severe tunnel vision focusing so much on it. Time to return to smaller bug fixes, let's go!

**ANXIETY INTENSIFIES FOR NO REASON**

Since I quit binge-eating sugary stuff, my body became capable of feeling true hunger. Not in my stomach, as that kind of feeling in my body is probably fucked up forever, but in my head.

When I feel hungry, it’s probably too late. This is exactly what I feel:
- dizziness
- FOV slightly decreases
- tunnel vision, things in peripheral vision become blurry and obscure. I “see” them, but my brain doesn’t process them quite as good
- colors become less saturated
- it’s very difficult to combine and analyse multiple concepts to derive a conclusion, basically the thing I do at work that wins me bread
- thought process becomes “single-threaded”. I can follow just one thought at a time and cannot go deeper than 3-4 levels, my brain just drops it by making the whole thought feel like some kind of slimy clay that cannot be comprehended, let alone expressed with words
- difficult to express thoughts with language, I have hard time talking, especially explaining
- want to sleep, but can’t, as brain is frantically trying to stay awake

It’s probably the mechanism developed evolutionary. That single thread remains active at all costs to allow me to find food, and brain doesn’t let me sleep, as it thinks if I fall asleep I’ll die. It’s amusing to see my brain actively killing thoughts that are not “important”, I feel like a real-time OS or an Erlang application. Perhaps thinking is really a very costly process in terms of how much energy it takes.

When I finally eat something, especially if it’s a proper meal, I feel a very pleasant sensation, probably it’s my brain telling me “thank you”, releasing dopamine to actively reinforce that “finding food is a very very good thing and it’s very important”. FOV pops back into place, peripheral vision becomes clean and sharp, thoughts awaken, eager to occupy all the treads that became available.

Maybe I have selective tunnel vision... While I'm focused working the only thing I see on my desk is the monitor and keyboard...