This facts are killing me

"During his own Google interview, Jeff Dean was asked the implications if P=NP were true. He said, "P = 0 or N = 1." Then, before the interviewer had even finished laughing, Jeff examined Google’s public certificate and wrote the private key on the whiteboard."

"Compilers don't warn Jeff Dean. Jeff Dean warns compilers."

"gcc -O4 emails your code to Jeff Dean for a rewrite."

"When Jeff Dean sends an ethernet frame there are no collisions because the competing frames retreat back up into the buffer memory on their source nic."

"When Jeff Dean has an ergonomic evaluation, it is for the protection of his keyboard."

"When Jeff Dean designs software, he first codes the binary and then writes the source as documentation."

"When Jeff has trouble sleeping, he Mapreduces sheep."

"When Jeff Dean listens to mp3s, he just cats them to /dev/dsp and does the decoding in his head."

"Google search went down for a few hours in 2002, and Jeff Dean started handling queries by hand. Search Quality doubled."

"One day Jeff Dean grabbed his Etch-a-Sketch instead of his laptop on his way out the door. On his way back home to get his real laptop, he programmed the Etch-a-Sketch to play Tetris."

"Jeff Dean once shifted a bit so hard, it ended up on another computer. "

Just stumbled upon this!

I am doing a test on security on my server. I need people to hack it and report the findings.

My server IP is 127.0.0.1

When the code is so bad, that the debugging duck hangs itself.

I feel attacked...

Server side scripting using python

This ... Makes me saddd

📍Developers
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📍 Getting work done |
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📍Change and customise the latest Linux distro

Final exams: The best time to start side projects.

Once you realize your server is hacked, just disconnect the ssh and forget about it. It is known as Schrodinger defense.

The server will be both okay and fucked at the same time until someone get back into the server.

It's kind of true....

This might be relevant

Happened a while ago but I still find it funny.

*phone rings*
Me: good morning sir, how can I help you?
Client: MY WEBSITE IS OFFLINE, FIX IT RIGHT NOW.
M: I'm going to take a look, what's the domain?
C: *gives domain*
M: I see, that domain expired already, it was cancelled through our customer portal by the client, you maybe or someone you know?
C: WHAT?! MY INTERNATIONAL BUSINESS DEPENDS ON THAT DOMAIN, I'D NEVER CANCEL IT, THIS IS BULLSHIT! I'F THE SITE GOES OFFLINE FOR A MONTH I'LL FUCKING GO BANKRUPT, YOU'RE GOING TO FIX THIS RIGHT NOW.
M: if I may ask, how is your business doing right now?
C: HOW IS THAT QUESTION RELEVANT RIGHT NOW?!
M: well, you said that if the site would go offline for a month, you'd go bankrupt. The domain registration ended about half a year ago so that's why I aske......

*beeeeep beeeeep beeeeep*

Well, okay then.

Answer to all bosses, managers and TLs...

Your mom is so fat, the recursive function calculating her weight causes a stack-overflow

me.me meme

My wife is getting better and better each day writing code. And she is starting to really love the terminal too!
With this rate, she is going to know more GNU+Linux than me.
😎

I'm sorry. I don't mean it. This is too dark. 😂

Real Windows

I absolutely love Lambda expressions.
Except for when I didn't write them myself or they are not commented.

Just wrote little poem. for my girlfriend

When you are about to leave the office but someone starts having small talk with you

Dear AAA game developers, if your game ran at 30 FPS on the prior generations and you remaster it but keep it at 30 FPS, there is a special place in hell for you and I'll meet you...