Stop f*cking calling me minority or part of a underrepresented group. Yeah I noticed I am one of the only women on a conference. I DONT CARE, I AM A PROGRAMMER NOT A SPECIAL SNOWFLAKE. Hire me for my work, not because you want you company to be more diverse.

Things I've learned throughout my 5 - 6 years as a programmer.
- StackOverflow is full of assholes.
- CMS's are for weaklings.
- The best feeling about waking up in the morning is figuring out how to solve that error in your code.
- You no longer think about normal people things. Your mind is full of code.
- You're practically a computer.
- ALWAYS backup and save your stuff or you WILL regret it. Enable autosave if possible.
- RIP your social life (if your friends don't know squat about programming)
- Darkness is better.
- Being a programmer is amazing.

Something which I felt inspirational.. As a programmer or as a Human being, it's our duty to teach others what we know well !
(My Personal opinion)

FUCK YOU SHITTY FUCKING DICK HEAD!!!.. I'M FUCKING TIRED OF YOUR FUCKING BULLSHIT ABOUT "YOU'RE A PROGRAMMER... YOU MUST KNOW HOW TO USE PHOTOSHOP!"... OR "SUCH A SHITTY PROGRAMMER YOU ARE... DON'T YOU KNOW HOW TO FIX MY COMPUTER"... OR "CAN YOU MAKE ME AN APP?... IT'S LIKE OTHER APP BUT BETTER, I CAN'T GIVE YOU MORE DETAILS BECAUSE IT'S CONFIDENCIAL, SO YOU GOT TO DO IT WHIT OUT KNOWING WHAT THE FUCK YOU HAVE TO DO"... GO TO FUCK YOURSELF WITH A TRUCK FULL OF DONKEYS FUCKING IDIOT!!!... STOP TALKING BULLSHIT AND GET AND FUCKING LIFE YOU ASSHOLE!!!... sorry about my english for those who read

I asked my programmer buddy if her baby was a boy or a girl. She said "yes".

Back in the days...

Parents: get off that computer it will get you nowhere in life!

Me:But im programming not playing games..I want to become a programmer...

Parents:programming or games it's all the same! Take an example of your sister who actually achieved something with her studies (she's a doctor)

Me today asa computer engineer...receiving paycheck higher than my sister who is a doctor and not to mention I got a car of the company and living very comfortably.

Parents can't believe it.

#rekt

Moral of the story: never let anyone tell you what to do. Keep doing what you truly love and get real good at it!😉

This is the coding rig for everyone that claims himself THE REAL PROGRAMMER (and everyone else except him is just an idiot, a noob or a kiddo).

I don't really like that corny ass joke about going to the grocery store and buying eggs or whatever the fuck it is, but this.... This is fucking hilarious.

There's a solid 75% chance that Caecilia is a programmer.

!rant
A programmer walks into a bar. The bartender wonders whether to keep a tab or 4 spaces...

Q: As a programmer in devRant, which one do you choose? The small one, the middle one or the largest?
A: Fine, I choose the white one...

A physicist, an engineer and a programmer were in a car driving over a steep alpine pass when the brakes failed. The car was getting faster and faster, they were struggling to get round the corners and once or twice only the feeble crash barrier saved them from crashing down the side of the mountain. They were sure they were all going to die, when suddenly they spotted an escape lane. They pulled into the escape lane, and came safely to a halt.

The physicist said "We need to model the friction in the brake pads and the resultant temperature rise, see if we can work out why they failed".

The engineer said "I think I've got a few spanners in the back. I'll take a look and see if I can work out what's wrong".

The programmer said "Why don't we get going again and see if it's reproducible?"

Ever had a 'why in FUCKS name would you do that?!?' moment with another programmer?

In my first study year we learned about PHP and how to write a login system. Most people would either do a 'select count(something like id) from users where username = username and password = password' or select the values based on the username/email and check if the password matches.

This guy selected everything from the table and FOREACHED the records while comparing if the username/password matched with an if within that loop.

I couldn't get him to understand how fucked up that system would become once you'd have loads and loads of users 😅

1. I'm a programmer, that does not mean I know every possible programming language. Yes, I can build Android apps, standalone softwares, serverside frameworks. No, I do not know how to build frigging websites!

2. "You can build a website in 2 days, you're a programmer". Tell a single mechanic to build an entire car in 2 days or tell a civil engineer to build an entire building in 2 days and I'll build your website in 2 days.

AAAAAAARRRRRGGGGGHHHHH!
Why does your family think that being a programmer means being a magician who can just pull any kind of software, hardware, app, website out of their hat?

In high school, we had to choose between sports or computer science. I didn't like to play sports and now I'm a programmer.

Is it just me or do others also think programmer jokes like "...converts caffeine and pizza into software" and similar to be fucking annoying?

So today , a company phoned me for a job I applied in Jobstreet. So the conversation goes like this.

Com " Do you have any experience in Android studio? "

Me : " Yes . I develop android application, it is compulsory to know actually."

Com :" ok... Do you have experience android SDK?"

Me : " I believe you are referring to the Android studio, yes."

Com :" do you have experience in Android programming"?

Me :" Yes. I do android application for both native and hybrid. As for hybrid, I use flutter."

Com :" Ok...but I was asking about android."

Me :*explaining what I just said *

Com: " you no understand! We need android programmer! Not native or flutter programmer!"

Me *explaining what native and hybrid is (in simple terms)

Com : " it is ok then.. our company prefer those who can develop android app , not native programmer or anything flutter programmer.
"

(Btw , I transcript how exactly that person talk to me)

My question to this person is.... WHAT THE F*** IS THIS? WANT AN ANDROID DEVELOPER BUT NOT NATIVE OR "FLUTTER"? WHAT THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN MEAN ? IF ANDROID IS NOT WRITTEN IN NATIVE OR HYBRID THEN WHAT YOU EXPECT ME TO USE THEN? USING ASSEMBLY X64?

"Java is slow"

If that is the only reason you can come up with when i ask you why dou you think java is bad, im going to assume youre either a fucking shit programmer or live in the 90s.

So I just graduated college last month. I had been in this internship for about three months. In the last month I lead a team that developed and integrated a chat application into a Booking Website for enterprises. (They handle bulk bookings for seminars, travel, etc. flights, hotels, local transport, etc).

Anyways I’ve always wondered when I can consider myself a “real programmer.” This is my first completed project and I am very proud of it!

Also I got a job with the Hotel company to maintain among other things 😀

I’m a software Developer! (Erm, or programmer?)

Dreams do come true! 😀

I wanted to go on a cruise with my programmer boyfriend.

His response?

"I can't be away from work that long."

Not because he'll get into trouble or anything. Oh no. He just loves writing code *that* much. 🙄

"Just about every aspect of your every day life is run by or depends on millions of lines of code.. have you hugged a programmer today?"

Yo!
I went to see my mother a few days, and her TV's broken.
She told me to repair it, because "you're a programmer"
Does anybody knows a python function or a useful library that could repair TV ?

Yea so I was creating registration form and I did this:

...

if ($pass != $passrepeat or
$passrepeat != $pass) {
# MAGIC
}

...

I think I should quit being a programmer..

When I started my job a year ago, I felt impostor syndrome. Now I think everyone around me is a fucking moron and I'm an elite programmer.

Am I just an asshole, or has my journey with this company expired?

As a programmer, I either feel like I’m a god and I’m superior to everyone in this company OR I am an idiot and everyone knows what they are doing except me.

Programming is an illusion. It’s just a “feeling”. Programming doesn’t exist.

If you're a programmer & are happy

Please stand up, or if you're lazy , have your hand up 🕺

Pet peeves as a programmer and ex hobbyist hacker:

1. People who press F12, change a colour and consider themself a hacker or/and programmer.

2. People who pick up someone's phone, guess their passcode and post shit saying 'hacked' at the end.

These people can kindly fuck off to the hellish dimension they came 👌

May not be much but this is my first desk as a programmer; no more awkwardly hopping from couch to couch or from Starbucks to Starbucks. Outlook for future productivity is looking good y'all.

Sometimes I wonder if I'm truly a good programmer, or if I can just google things better than the average bear.

Me: I develop Applications.

Stranger: Oh so you are a programmer.

Me: Yup 😎

Stranger: Please hack my ex's insta.

Me: I am not a hacker nor am I intrested in learning to hack. I develop stuff from scratch. Innovate and contribute something to society.

Stranger: Oh, what a disappointment. Why did you say you are a programmer then.

Me: I...~am 😶

For some, hacking is the only programming thing for them. I get message at least once a month from someone requesting to hack someones fb,insta or some account.

Thinking of creating a bot which finds such keywords in my messages and automatically replies to them explaining what I really do. Or just f***ing block them.

Having a boss who thinks he is an artist, designer, programmer, manager, salesman, pr manager, devops engineer and every project lead at the same time, never trusted anyone and reassigned tasks twice a day regardless of what you were working on right now. He was also unable to explain what he wanted or to set any meaningful goals. He also told customers we/he could do everything. One time, when we never made an app before, he accepted to deliver an iOS app within 1 week. ONE WEEK. THATS FIVE DAYS.

I'm a shit programmer

I'm 29 and I assumed that by this point I'd be successful some way or another, either by being financially abundant or technically complex.

I am not, just mildly accomplished instead.

Here'a list of thing I consider challenges that I have:
* I tend to tunnel vision ideas that are terrible or execute them poorly because of said tunnel vision.
* I don't hone my skills, I usually consider my potentials the same as my actuals, as if I achieved everything already, probably product of ny huge ego.
* I communicate poorly with my boss, I sidetrack into thing he didn't ask
* I'm a mess when it comes to reading documentation online, I have the attention span of a fucking fish.
* I work alone, I have 0 networking status or skills.
* I take huge amounts of time to finish my side projects
* Of all the side projects I started I only finished one, the ones that I couldn't finish usually bevame insabely stressful things, so much and so many that I questioned myself many times if I should be a programmer or not.
* I have little discipline or organization, if I work in more than one thing at a time, i get really anxious and stressed.

I am not saying I'm not competent, I think I am (I'm looking at you imaginary scary recruiter googling this online), I'm just not really proud of myself

I'm been hacking together software for the last year or so now and I've never considered myself to be a good programmer.

Today however I had to implement an A* search from scratch and with only the knowledge of how the algorithm should function I put together some code that looked correct.

I went to run my code expecting one of the typical "Index out of bound", "null reference", "something has not be initialised" BUT I was shocked to find that the code worked flawlessly.

I went into a weird state of shock and disbelief. I'm not naturally gifted at this stuff, so it was just really hard for me to accept that I might actually be getting better to the point where I might be able to say "I am a programmer"

Does anyone else get bad imposter syndrome?

if you ever feel bad or useless about your ability as a programmer, just remember that this is the kinda code i write when im tired

Am I only one thinking that Linux is kind ok cliche among programmers. Some of them brag about using Ubuntu over Windows like it makes you a better programmer. I have seen brilliant Windows developers and shitty Linux developers. My point is not that Windows is better, just stop bragging that you are using Ubuntu, it does not make you smart or better than others.

when you wake up saturday noon just to see your phone having 10 missed calls from the same unrecognized number, dial back and find it to be a mad client,
complaining about some graphic issues on a site you have nothing to do with.

checking the site; there is nothing wrong so you tell him to clear his browser cache.

he gets mad shouting a silly programmer shall not tell him what to do with his computer and its the site, not his browser.

i ask him if there is the same issue with another browser or computer..
he giggles a little then turn silent..

2mins or so later, he says: i'm gonna let your boss know about this then hangs up..

It was 1999. I was just starting my first real job as a programmer for a major insurance company. We were working on code that would screen scrape legacy mainframe data output and convert it to a web-based UI. REALLY stupid project approach I had no input on. I happened to find a programmer in Germany who had released his code in the public domain that would help with making a certain conversion task easier. I downloaded his code and put it to work.

During a code review, a programmer who was probably about 60 asked me where I got the code and what it was doing. I didn't even get to the part about what it was doing because he made fun of me so badly, in a fake German accent in front of a room full of non-programmers, for using code that today is no big deal due to the prevalence of open source. I just clammed up in humiliation because he got everyone laughing at me. His philosophy was if we didn't buy it or write it ourselves, we had no business using it.

I guess I was just ahead of my time?

Not Sure,
If I am a good programmer
or a good Googler :P

Am I a programmer or a developer 🤔🤔🤔

Why is it so important to some people to claim that "HTML and CSS are not programming languages"? I get it, you're a REAL programmer working with arrays, maybe tuples, objects and possibly direct memory management. Who the fuck has a right to call themselves a programmer for writing some brain dead markup or poorly designed selectors, right? Who fucking cares for semantic tags or nested selectors?

Just think for a few seconds about when you were taking your first baby steps to becoming the GOD ROCKING MEMORY HANDLER THAT WRITES _REAL_ CODE that you are today, and how good it felt to be able to create something that appeared on your screen. It felt pretty awesome, yeah?

Now imagine if someone much more experienced than you told you "You're not a real programmer, that is not real programming. You should see what I do, I do real programming".

I think you get it. Why spend your energy spreading bad vibes when you could spend it on something more productive. Like reading up on the new CSS4 specs ;)

So did the programmer come first? Or did the coffee?🤔

Junior coder says validation is not needed on asp.net mvc form pages because it is not in the requirements or part of the definition of done. Wants to argue about it. Refuses to do it. Says I am over optimizing or some shit like that. Good luck with that. If you can't figure that one out or listen to feedback perhaps you should become a project manager not a programmer.

After one year of learning to code I am still not sure if I am an adequate programmer or a really effective Google user...

My fiance is also a programmer. He doesn't say he loves me often, but than he does it looks/sounds like ''I [less than 3] you'' 🙃
Or he will prefers to ask me what am I cooking for dinner by using arduino & a display 🙄

What's your dream job?

Mine is working either at Digital Ocean as a server maintainer/service/programmer or at Red Hat developing gnome.

I have noticed on here, there is a direct correlation between the number of swear words in a post and that posts ++ count. As a programmer who doesn't swear (I know, "just give it a few years" or "YOUR NOT A REAL PROGRAMMER!!" [side note, I also don't drink coffee]), I guess my ++ counter will only ever be allocated 1 byte...

Whenever I see a programmer or hacker coding in a movie, I pause the movie and see if I can understand what the code is trying to do. If I can't understand it, I feel sad the rest of the day thinking I'm not a good enough programmer.

TLDR: Skills and background or dedication for becoming a good programmer?

So I almost finished the bootcamp on my company, there is only 2 people. Me and another guy who is from math major. He wanted to learn programming so he applied for the job. He doen’t know sql, any backend language, and not even html or css when he joined. The only thing he knew is for looping and if condition logic. He survived 1 months or so by learning a lot here. C#, .net mvc, sql, decent css and html. I believe he worked hard by learning it by himself. But the company he can’t continue anymore. I doesn’t know the reason but probably because he is seen as not good enough. Sure he is kinda slow when adding some feature to our small project but we need to find how to do it by ourself mostly. Now I’m alone with another few weeks to continue

It has been bugging the shit out of me lately... the sheer number of shit-tier "programmers" that have been climbing out of the woodwork the last few years.

I'm not trying to come across as elitist or "holier than thou", but it's getting ridiculous and annoying. Even on here, you have people who "only do frontend development" or some other lame ass shit-stain of an excuse.

When I first started learning programming (PHP was my first language), it wasn't because I wanted to be a programmer. I used to be a member (my account is still there, in fact) of "HackThisSite", back when I was about 12 years old. After hanging out long enough, I got the hint that the best hackers are, in essence, programmers.

Want to learn how to do SQL injection? Learn SQL - write a program that uses an SQL database, and ask yourself how you would exploit your own software.

Want to reverse engineer the network protocol of some proprietary software? Learn TCP/IP - write a TCP/IP packet filter.

Back then, a programmer and a hacker were very much one in the same. Nowadays, some kid can download Python, write a "hello, world" program and they're halfway to freelancing or whatever.

It's rare to find a programmer - a REAL programmer, one who knows how the systems he develops for better than the back of his hand.

These days, I find people want the instant gratification that these simpler languages provide. You don't need to understand how virtual memory works, hell many people don't even really understand C/C++ pointers - and that's BASIC SHIT right there.

Put another way, would you want to take your car to a brake mechanic that doesn't understand how brakes work? I sure as hell wouldn't.

Watching these "programmers" out there who don't have a fucking clue how the code they write does what it does, is like watching a grown man walk around with a kid's toolbox full or plastic toys calling himself a mechanic. (I like cars, ok?!)

*sigh*

Python, AngularJS, Bootstrap, etc. They're all tools and they have their merits. But god fucking dammit, they're not the ONLY damn tools that matter. Stop making excuses *not* to learn something, Mr."IOnlyDoFrontEnd".

Coding ain't Lego's, fuckers.

To the dev who added GIF feature in whatsapp.
Fuck you.
Context: Today starts the festival of Deepawali or diwali in India.
And given the lazy ass we people are they are just forwarding lazy ass gifs wishing happy diwali.
Every fucking where.
Even those from whom I haven't heard since last festival.
Amen to that programmer. Thanks bro.

I've lost my gf (she said she wouldn't want to be with a programmer, I said 'sure, bye') and found a much better and more fun career path than I had before.

Otherwise my life stayed pretty much intact, except for the fckn compile time errors and occasional 'fix my electronic device' or 'hack this social media account for me' requests. In retrospect it was more than worth it, would switch to be a professional developer anytime again.

!rant

Is it just me or does being a programmer sometimes feel like being a magician. It's such a weird profession. You're living in a bubble, nothing you create is physically tangible, yet anything is possible, and there is always more learn.
Most of the time it's art. Commenting out dead or obsolete code instead of removing it just because it feels like you put a little bit of yourself into it, even though it has no use anymore.
I sometimes wonder if there is any other profession out there that makes you ride the same rollercoaster of satisfaction, frustration, glory and defeat we've all been on.

Why are people on StackOverflow so fucking harsh? I'm a newbie programmer so I'm sorry if I didn't word my question to your specific liking, but you don't have to down vote it because you don't like it or you feel it's beneath you. Maybe give some pointers (without jumping down my throat) so that I'll get better instead of getting me closer to being banned from asking questions. I see other questions that I think suck, but no down votes!

I've seen a job vacancy that asks for the following characteristics in a developer:

- extraverted, do'er (as opposed to thinker), out-of-the-box, curious, sees solutions and not problems, structural thinking vs. theoretical thinking, loves change, acts immediately, makes choices under stress, critically questions themselves if things go wrong

What the [censored] kind of programmer is that? Sounds more like a wannabe brogrammer type.

A typical, real programmer is introverted (for he is introspective, detail-minded and is therefore good at inspecting problems and finding solutions for them).

Seeing problems is not a bad thing, it's in fact necessary to be able to identify issues and not act like your typical manager who only wants to rush to solutions. He thinks deeply and theoretically before he takes action. Theory is the foundation of identifying a problem.

What programmer is stress-resistant? It's not normal for the human brain to be able to deal with stress; this is why switch-tasking is so hard.

Question yourself if things go wrong? Perhaps, but this sounds more like trying to shove the blame around.

Since we live in a rigid computer world with rigidly-defined protocols (say, HTTP), it is often useful to think in a conventional way. Out-of-the-box? Sure, if you're being innovative, or sure, as a tangential characteristic.

In my professional opinion, this vacancy reeks of bad corporate culture.. and the biggest alarm bell I find is: "There is free beer!" Err.. yeah. Anyway.

More of a question than a rant. What to do regarding programming.

I'm self taught, php, c, c#, and I make stupid little programs that make my life easier as a sys admin.

I want to ask, how do I take things further? Where I'm from, it's really hard to get a job as a programmer without 5 years experience and knowledge in 5 other languages.

Do I try and make bigger apps to showcase myself and hope someone finds me, or what do I do in this instance. I'm not a fully fledged coder, but I'm comfortable and if I don't know something i learn it pretty quickly.

Is there a way that you get a job, even as a junior? Or is it pure luck?

“I’m a CSS programmer, you should try it too”
Heard this in a forum back ‘12 or ‘13.

Our junior programmer is stuck in a do-while loop. He starts with a normal question, and then each question after will be "But Why ?", until I am ready to throttle him, or I run out of memory.

I absolutely love Lambda expressions.
Except for when I didn't write them myself or they are not commented.

This may or may not be an old meme but this is the first time i ever saw it and all i can say is

THANK YOU to the original creator, whoever he or she might be!

I had this insecurity for a long time as i always portrayed myself as more of a thinker than coder. I have to go over everythibg before i got to write even one single line of code, and for this reason i tought i might not be made out to be a programmer after all :s

It's truly reassuring to hear that your short comings are actually quite normal 😥

Sorry for the long post on a joke tagged post 😁

I'm a junior ASP.NET programmer who just graduated and currently undergoing a trainee program bootcamp by my company. Got any Visual Studio tips or extensions I should use? (I know some of you hate vs but still)

"We have this Fortran code that should be translated in that Matlab software, is there a system or a compiler to do that?"
"Yes, that is called a Programmer"

Whenever my friend messages me to debug his code or to correct the errors, I google the line with the error, open the first result and copy and send the solution to him.

Now he thinks I'm a badass programmer😂

I live a double life as a programmer where I write Javascript during the day for work, and C during the night for fun (or to fight crime).

Ok Now I am getting fed up of
"I am programmer , someone gave me printer/mobile/tv to repair" jokes/rants/memes.

Once or twice is fine. Now they are just reposts with slightly different content. Not funny anymore. Just irritating.

Why do people have to follow a trend here. Have some ingenuity guys.

Did someone noticed that IBM celebrated the International Programmer Day with HTML???
I don't know whether to laugh or cry 😂😭

A physicist, an engineer and a programmer were in a car driving over a steep alpine pass when the brakes failed. The car was getting faster and faster, they were struggling to get round the corners and once or twice only the feeble crash barrier saved them from crashing down the side of the mountain. They were sure they were all going to die, when suddenly they spotted an escape lane. They pulled into the escape lane, and came safely to a halt.

The physicist said "We need to model the friction in the brake pads and the resultant temperature rise, see if we can work out why they failed".

The engineer said "I think I've got a few spanners in the back. I'll take a look and see if I can work out what's wrong".

The programmer said "Why don't we get going again and see if it's reproducible?"

#ProgrammersLogic

As a programmer, I woudnt buy an expensive computer. Neither the cheapest, or faster.

That's because I have learnt something: The computer of a programmer must be RESISTANT :v

Declined a job offer with a startup, partly because of imposter syndrome. Applied for position as programmer, showed up for interview and got cold feet when it turned out they actually wanted/needed a senior programmer/chief technology officer and offered me the position after having asked me no technical questions, seen none of my code or previous projects.

Still, it was a job that paid money... And I'm still jobless two months later :(

i think the better (or maybe just longer) you’re a programmer, the less funny memes get. i’m so sick and tired of them. when i started there was occasionally a funny one, now everything is annoying.

seriously, people find this shit funny?

The ascii DEL character 0x7F or b1111111 historically had a special relationship with punch tape programming, if the programmer made a mistake punching out a character then they could simply punch out all the holes and the computer would skip that character, effectively deleting it, and saving the programmer from starting over.

Sometimes I feel like a Jedi:
My boss says: Look the app is not sending any notifications.

I just have a feeling that he deactivated notifications in the app settings.

I check that and it was deactivated

Does that count as Jedi skills ? Or just programmer intuition

Really hate being the only programmer around my town and it's other nearby towns...

Really wish I could just meet up with a dev friend for a pint or 12 and just talk programming shit to each other but nope .-.

(Calling all aussie devs in the latrobe valley)

TWO QUESTIONS:

1. Do you consider yourself a DEVELOPER or a PROGRAMMER?

2. How do you personally define each?

I tried being a manager or director or whatever... Can I go back to being a developer/programmer now?

There's always a moment when your entire codebase starts breaking up piece by piece and you just wonder why did you choose this job, why you are a programmer, why you don't work at a bar or something like that

Guys, would you rather do with good team and be the least experienced or in a small company and be the best programmer there?

Fuck this shit.. I don't fucking know shit about using Facebook or Google+... I'm a fucking programmer, just because I work with computers I don't have to know how you're supposed to go about making your fucking Facebook page...damn this gets on my nerves.

I carry the same mindset as an aspiring programmer as I did when I was a music major. There were times I practice for hours and got very little out of it in terms of quality (because I wasn't interested, focused or willing) and then there were times I practiced for 20 mins and really made progress on the piece. So I always keep that in mind to save me time and to produce better code overall.

Nobody:
My dad: hey how do i do {{thing}} with this trucks multimedia system? What? No i dont know the exact model or release date or software version, arent you a programmer? You should know this without ever even seeing the outside of the car.

Wanna know what being social media famous or being a celebrity feels like?

Be a programmer on LinkedIn.

They’d be hitting on you and you have no other choice but to ignore everyone.

well, for now, my biggest dev ambition is to become a compiler designer/programmer... or OS designer/programmer.
In short, systems programmer (compilers or OS).
😅😅😁😁

You can always tell if someone is a programmer by asking them:

Is zero equal to zero or equal to 1?

Non devs say 0, devs say 1

Much obliged if you stop reloading the folder and searching it every five fucking seconds you fucking cunts.

Good god damn this fucking 'feature' of windows 10 grinds my fucking gears. I hit 'x' to stop seeing the visual distraction of the fucking green loading bar when the folders already loaded. Same thing with music. All I want it to do is open and play my fucking song.

Does it do that?

No instead it spends precious cycles updating fucking indexes or sprinkling crack rocks on the corpse of my cpu or whatever cycle fairies at fucking microsoft programmed it to do while wasting my fucking time.

I wish I had a brick and a microsoft programmer within throwing distance, I'd be sorely tempted to nail the motherfucker square in his fucking big fat melon.

Cunts.

fuck count: 8

Now I feel bad for calling myself a programmer as a highschooler after seeing so many people shitting on the younger people. Goddammit I picked up programming because I thought it was cool and fun not because I want money or shit. I'm not the retard kiddies that overstate my ability. I like coding, I just like coding.

Now I wanna quit.

Absolutely the best quote from Tao Of Programming...

A novice asked the Master: "Here is a programmer that never designs, documents or tests his programs. Yet all who know him consider him one of the best programmers in the world. Why is this?"

The Master replied: "That programmer has mastered the Tao. He has gone beyond the need for design; he does not become angry when the system crashes, but accepts the universe without concern. He has gone beyond the need for documentation; he no longer cares if anyone else sees his code. He has gone beyond the need for testing; each of his programs are perfect within themselves, serene and elegant, their purpose self-evident. Truly, he has entered the mystery of Tao."

I'm not a programmer by trade, so the only language I know well is bash. But as sysadmins we do use bash often.

Looking at other sysadmins' scripts though, there are interesting things in it every so often. Like for example `touch file` which creates a file. I've seen some sysadmins just do this instead `> file`. Genius! Or perhaps a `cat file >> elsewhere`. You can do that with `< file >> elsewhere`. It's something that if I hadn't seen it elsewhere, I wouldn't have thought about. But yeah, it saves a program call and it works!

I live in a small town and work remotely. When I tell people, (even young ones) I'm a programmer/web developer they think I install programs or make simple sites. I try to explain to them that I make the things but it perplexes them. Maybe because they think all apps are made by hi tech wizards and not average joes like myself working for average companies. Any of you other countryfolk have similar experiences?

Apple please... I just love physical keys, and you just make a pointless touchbar...

I really don't know the position of a macbook pro. I guess mainly graphic designer or programmer will buy macbook pro, and the touch bar feature is a completely pointless to us.

Not to mention that you replace all the USB port to a really "popular type C USB"

Already have it.
CNC operator.
I wanted to be cnc programmer but for now I'll have to work with the machines.
And I love it...
Making steel pieces with a 0.01mm precision...
Preparing the tools...
Operating the machine...
That's why I'm doing my own... For over 3 years (no money to finish yet hehe).
Also, got unemployed so I made a 3D drawing formation.
Now I can design, program and machine a full mold.
To bad company owners in my country (Portugal) like slave work... And I'm not accepting jobs for the minimum wage or I would be employed already.

A failed programmer!

Back in school the computer screen was my canvas, the keyboard was my brush and i filled it in with the colors of a language. Helping my fellow students debug and find the solution to their codes. Loved to do that its been 10 years thats i have programmed anything I am trying to figure out where is lost it all. Never got into a job working as programmer as in all the interviews I was asked of definition of things I could never remember but give a something to build or debug I could work it as a charm. Even though didn’t work a programmer kept on programming at home making free programs for friends or helping debug codes. But then I stopped and don’t know why and I really wanna get back into it not for others but for myself to see if i still have it, but its been so long new languages new platform and don’t know where to start. Or should I accept myself as a failed programmer!

When you become or became a programmer / software engineer, what are or did you reward yourself with for your hard work and success? For me, I want a Subaru STI😁

!rant && Thanksgivings++

I am truly thankful to be a programmer for it is the only job on Earth where doing mistakes is the profession itself.

Think about it. We make more mistakes than other professions on DAILY basis. If a doctor miss a step during a diagnosis or an operation, a fucking human being might die. Engineers, lawyers, teachers you name it. They are not allowed to make mistakes.

Us? We are earning money from other people for all the hours we spent fixing the mistakes which we made in the first place.

I like to use programmer logic in everyday conversations, especially with not programmers, like

They: would you like coffee or cake?
Me: yes

The real question is "would you like coffee xor cake?"

I used to have a friend who swore that his dad worked with a gubernamental hacking agency. One day we started talking about my personal programming projects and he asked why I wouldn't say that I was a hacker and not a programmer, he believed that calling yourself a hacker was better. I explained to him that a hacker was not the same as a programmer or as a developer. We got into an argument and then I realized that if his dad truly worked in a hacking agency, he would know the difference *facepalm*

Wondering how many of you have ADD/ADHD, diagnosed or not. I've heard people say that many programmers have ADD or ADHD and that it generally makes them a better programmer. I myself have ADD and I feel like it makes me a better programmer, but I have to work harder at paying attention to my wife/social life.

do not use the word coder please.

if you write code, you're a programmer. if you call yourself a coder, you're either a sixth grader who just learned about the terminal, or an idiot.

The most difficult decision as a programmer is: Do I try and fix this... or do I start again...

I don't like others to know that i'm a programmer. Do you agree or why shall they know? It just changes their opinion on you.

You know, one of my worst fears as a programmer isn’t a bug, or shitty clients, it’s not even happening on my computer.

It’s when I can’t find a good playlist to listen to because the good ones I listen to way to much and I get sick of them so I get stuck with nothing and my Brain simply can’t function without a butt shaking toon!

!Rant

Got my first job last week as a junior gameplay programmer. Dream job 😁
Well, more like a dream position than the actual dream job.

Proprietary engine and a new language are kinda hard to wrap my head around, but I've been having so much fun that by the time 4 rolls around I usually don't notice it and stay for an hour or so more.

I love it!

"The computer programmer is a creator of universes for which he alone is the lawgiver. No playwright, no stage director, no emperor, however powerful, has ever exercised such absolute authority to arrange a stage or field of battle and to command such unswervingly dutiful actors or troops."
-- Joseph Weizenbaum

I'm sorry but Laravel is for brainless programmers who wants to be spoon feed all the time.

Laravel is maybe fast to develop and easy to understand but its only because it is poorly designed/written.

That damn Eloquent, if misuse by ignorant or amateur programmer, will definitely bring a disaster to the whole system.

New programmer who just pick up Python be like , C is shot , is bad , python better blablabla....

Why anyone hate C so much? I personally use C for Embedded Programming, for hardware or is better compare to using python for my case.

I love python , but I love C more. Because without C the rest don't exist. Right?

So stop hating on C. Because you might use it someday.

What’s your favourite programmer or hacker movie? Give me some good movie for the weekend 😎

Ok so you're a pretty good programmer. You don't take time to grasp stuff, but then we all know there are times when we all fail to understand certain things. But why does that 'making a fool out of yourself' incident HAVE to happen when your colleagues are around?
Scene 1:
Coding alone, no bugs at all. Perfectly optimized code. Runs with no compile-time errors or warnings.
Scene 2 :
Typing code. Colleague enters my cabin. Before even I execute it, finds 300 compile-time errors. All of them happen to be true
Judged for life..

Why, oh programmer god, why?

To have a 6-hour 5-day (at max, for any reason) software job to sustain myself, leaving me enough time to enjoy life, exercise, travel at times, and create personally or with my programmer friends challenging and innovative projects, regardless of whether they are going to be monetized later or become open source.

first off, i think this may be out of scope but either way.

i think along the rants, a tag seperated section for programmer tips could be pretty neat :)

i'll start off, my tip of today would be: if it seems too complex, it probably is.
consider refactoring by splitting into multiple smaller parts or even its own seperate API. :)

A medical doctor, a lawyer and a programmer debate whether it's best to have a wife or a girlfriend.

"Easy", the lawyer starts, "a girlfriend comes without any legal obligation, you can have a lot of fun together but when you get enough of her, you can just leave her without any trouble"

The physician objects: "That can only come from a man who never truly loved a woman. Your wife is not just someone who you have fun with, she is you bastion of calm, your ever-loyal partner, the completition yourself. Clearly, having a wife is better"

Both now look at the programmer who remained silent throughout the debate.

He cleans his throat and than says: "Both. You need both. You can tell you wife you're with your girlfriend and you can tell your girlfriend you are with your wife. And then, you can finally code in peace.

So,
Yesterday was Google CodeJam's Kickstart event ( or something like that ).
Participated in competitive programming for the first time. It was kinda fun I guess...
Nope I still hate competitive programming. I like being a laid back programmer who develops in his own pace.
I know it's not what industry wants but I can't jst go for competitive programming.

On the positive note, I started using goto in C++ because of it and created a better Graph library than I had before 🤗🤗

P.S. I did read on how to use goto and when to not use it. I guess my usage was fine... Or better yet, IT WORKED 😜😂

Well, I am done as far as competitive programming goes... 😭😭

Has anyone ever wanted to quit as programmer?

But I talking go and work as a chef or a fucking janitor kind-of-quitting?

Want to read a book that can help me avoid newb mistakes and can help me write beautiful code ?

Pragmatic programmer(1999)
Or
Clean code
Or
any other book ?
Help me !!?

This year I want to become a better programmer. I ordered the book clean code and want to focus on writing more and better unit tests.

If anyone has any tips on how to improve or how to get tips on your code

The traits that compile to form a programmer

-Not good at naming things

-People started asking for you to fix electronics regardless of what you tell them You’re actually studying/good at

-Procrastination through the roof

-Lives off of Coffee, POP, Energy drinks, or what ever source of caffeine.

When a programmer plays truth or false, you know he/she will always say true.

Is it only me that I feel I am so special for being a programmer, and also able to think, learn, and analyze better than other people?

I feel like we are small group of people that do magical things that change the world while nobody even realizes or appreciates what we do

Can a front end developer themselves a software engineer? I am really confused with these terms. Or a programmer? Or a computer scientist? I didn't go to a school, so I am not sure what are the differences..

Programmer writer's block (or trying to name a variable):

Hey DR! I am a pretty inexperienced programmer who's learning about JS. When I was writing vanilla JS to do some simple DOM manipulation, JS seems like a pretty familiar language. However, when I start to learn about different frameworks (React, Express), the way that they code stuff (IDK how to pinpoint specific examples, it's just an overall impression) becomes very different from my experience with other programming language. I am wondering if anyone have any suggestions, have felt the same way, or know how to overcome this phase.

ps This is a general question. Please don't be pissed for lack of technical detail....

How'd I know if I'm a good programmer or just good at googling.

going out of the cafe when some stranger stops me, he asks if I'm a programmer, said his friend told him,
i was like yeah, i mostly do web stuff, but can work on any project.
he then said, nah it's just about hacking that person, or even just his facebook account, i suppose it can be done..
then he looked at me noticing that I'm a few mood calories away from murdering his sorry ass.
he asks if it's not bothersome to ask
i said nah it's fine, just that every word you said after "hack" is bothering me terribly,
he just stepped back and walked away

*At the Maker Faire in Milwaukee; I’m looking at a computer with a friend that his brother built*

Old Guy: This is pretty cool! You guys should start a YouTube channel. Look, you even have a pretty girl who can show it off!
Friend: *looks at me awkwardly* Or you can, you know, be a programmer too...

😑😑😑

That moment when you just quit your successful paying job just to have more time to study and try to pass the fucking piece of trash math exam.

Fuck my asshole, fuck my life and fuck that motherfucking college degree. If I don't pass, I will eventually kill my self or quit college.

Jeez, I wonder what was in my head when I enrolled in college, oh wait.. Parents, society brainwashed me to think I need top tier education to be a successful computer programmer engineer.

Fuck you society, fuck my brain, fuck everything.

I’m starting to question the whole “programmer shortage” scenario. If there is such a high demand for programmers, why is everyone I know struggling to find a job or even keep it.

A meeting to redefine the definition of done. Which a "senior" programmer threw in.

3 hours after we are still there to "define"... All of this because this developer and a couple more want to keep a physical board which has no space for a "testing" section, so the tasks need either to be done-but-not-really and this is technically wrong (who cares?) or in-progress-but-not-really which is technically wrong (again, who cares?).

Just effin find a bigger board and don't waste 3 hours of my life and/or start thinking pragmatically and accept tasks can move backwards or have a ticket saying "testing" stuck to them, ffs!

The funny part? This dev is probably one of the grumpiest devs I met when you talk about meetings which are actually useful.

Tl;dr was told I couldn't and found I like programming. :)

Went to some school for testing out different industries but didn't have any goal nor found anything I was really interested in..
So i was tested for qualifications and told I was too stupid to be in IT..
So I decided to prove them wrong, went for an it supporter ground course and aced it with top grades + extra courses..
But still had no goals or dreams.
On that education, I met a friend who wanted to be a web programmer, so I decided to walk that path and aced another education with top grades..
Then I found, that I actually sorta enjoy programming and doesn't get bored quickly so then, I decided to plant my flag and become a programmer :)

When do you know something is being overdesigned or overengineered?

The applications that the other programmer started building are killing me. He's using Clean Architecture and it has like a million different classes and shit. It's not messy or anything, but fuck it's overwhelming.

Just to figure out wtf was happening when getting the currently signed in user's email, I had to go through like 30 folder and files. Maybe more. All files were fairly simple on their own, but the entire flow was mindfucking me. Use cases, schemas, gateways, repositories, entities, models, etc etc

And that's the client facing application, I haven't checked the API yet, though it seems like that one is simpler.

The worrying aspect here is, any time anyone else has to mess with this, they'll also have to deal with this shit. This needs some really good documentation.

I present to you a php framework with an "orm" that doesnt support table joins. Yes, you heard it right.

I just want to say few things to the developers community -
If you are a bad programmer, please spend your time at improving rather than writing frameworks, or making the stupid decision on using SUCH SHIT FRAMEWORK AT A CORPORATE COMPANY!

Also if you are not sure if you are a good programmer or not, chances are you aren't. That's just how it is.

No Rant:

I guess I will start a religous discussion with it but I want your opinion on what tool I should learn.
Vim or Emacs (or stay with my IDE)?

For all of my programmer life I used IDEs... From Eclipse over CodeBlocks over VS to IntelliJ.
But now I realized that I want to be one of the cool kids. And using plain IntelliJ is uncool. No matter how much I love this tool.

So now I want to invest some time into learning. I never managed to do much in Vim since all code-completions sucked ass, feedback on syntax errors was bad and I never saw how I could be any faster with that shit compared to what IntelliJ does for me.
Will Emacs solve all those problems? Will Emacs make me code 1000 times faster and make having a mouse useless?
Or am I just too dumb for Vim? Can Vim itself do what my IDE does for me? Will it make me look as cool as I want to be?
Or should I stick to IntelliJ and just install Vim bindings?

What is your opinion on Vim vs Emacs vs any IDE?

Some people just don't get it. When you meet friends who are either non technical or very new to programming, all they ask you is what language do you use.

The language is important but not everything. It's what you do with it that matters. Just because you know python, doesn't mean that you can do machine learning. Even simply asking what do I do is better than that!

The language is just a tool! Learn to be language agnostic please. Be a programmer, not a code monkey

Anyone else out there feel useless as a programmer? By that I mean you have always struggled to solve problems quickly and effectively. Or to fully understand the language and typical patterns and algorithms. Or to retain in memory all the things you need to “just know” on a daily basis to avoid having to look them up regularly and look foolish or incompetent? It seems I can’t keep my mind focused on learning, whether by tutorials or hands-on practice. I should probably just switch careers, but I’m so close to retirement that it seems stupid to attempt such a thing. Am I alone?

*Screaming Internally* I'm really, REALLY, stressed.

We just entered the final sprint for the finishing of a major project. This is my first "Launch" type achievement since I started working as a programmer(I started almost exactly a year ago)

We have a lot of work done on the project, and it's very clearly near "Completion" but we all know a programmers job is never done.

But specifically I've been thinking about the code i've worked on. I've been at the burnt out phase of the development for a week now, I haven't been getting a lot done, and I can't help but stress that my code is going to be what breaks on launch day and i'm going to get canned or something...

It's not that i'm a bad programmer(at least I don't think) but more or less that I just have been so stressed I think I've made some mistakes, and I think it's going to blow up in my face, and I might lose my job over it.

How do you guys deal with work stress?

I was inspired to be a programmer when I was 7 yrs old.
I started out using my dad's old Macintosh, it was pretty good at the time when I was 7. I played a game called "On The Run" at miniclip. I thought that one day I want to become a programmer who can do more than this or any other game.
Later when I was 9, my father bought a laptop but then he gave it to me. So I started and learn how computers work. It was a Acer 4376G I think, Windows Vista. (I didnt know vista was bad) I started with how to mod Java on a game called Need for Madness. That was when I learned about all sorts of jargon when looking up stuffs. I was able to somehow understand code but not write it. It was 9 years later, when at the end of 2015, I found khan academy and codecademy thru howtogeek. That was when I understand the most basic function that led me to build my entire knowledge or else I can only write

Hello everyone.
So, i am thinking about where to get lists of programming languages, frameworks and softwares that is fundamental. For example:
If i would like to develop a web site. I would use html, css, js & php. Maybe a site or frameworks for reference and 'roadmap'. I want to become a good programmer.

You either die a IT or live long enough to see yourself become the programmer

A PM who suck-up to a creative technologist. He comes up with ideas while me, the programmer, have to figure how to get it done.

PM expects me to explain how things can or cannot be done. I spent whole day drawing diagrams explaining things, while the creative technologist makes demand after demand.

For me, the worst project manager is one who doesn't take care of their people.

N The worst creative technologist, is one who won't go do their own fucking research and expect the developers to do it.

Both fuckers are management roles. Go figure..

On the most serious of notes, and i need yall to think hard about this.

What makes you a good developer whether Backend or Frontend or Web or mobile.

What qualities actually make you a good developer?

I mean, we all use google, github, stack overflow etc. So what makes Programmer A better than Programmer B.

and in a more practical sense, ive been coding for two years now and i have deployed an API written in node and an instagram automation tool in PHP (which is down now due to lack of funds), i lack frontend knowldge (but i want to make up for that) and i have projects that when i finish, with my connections can and will blow up in terms of income. now you on the other hand, what makes you better than me?

and lastly, how much code do you have to change from an existing project, lets say from github for you to comfortably say, yes this is mine.

At a friend's New Year's Eve party 2 years ago...

"So you're a programmer? Do you know how to hack someone's e-mail, or maybe just a Facebook page? I have a friend who removed me as an admin from one of my pages and won't give it back..."

Same kid later that night, upon learning one of the other guests is the head of IT for a local company:

"Hey, I'm going to be finishing my CISCO and A+ certs here in a few months, will that be of any help? I can even get you drugs if you like!"

*weird look from friend*

"Or no drugs! None at all!"

...How about you just stop talking about illegal activity at all, kid?

Rule 1: You are the best programmer.

Rule 2: Others are acting to be good programmers or are in a fixed match.

Do you think one may become a good programmer or coder without excellent knowledge of mathematics or algorithms?

When I go to sleep, driving my car, or when I am distracted with some hobbies my mind give me some ideas and motivation for doing programs and games.
Then I switch on my PC and my laziness come from holidays to fuck my projects and doing anything.
Idk why.
I need help? Or my life as programmer sucks?

Java Vs. C++
Ok, so I know a bit of Java, still lots to learn but isn't there always! My question to all you poly-linguist programmers is; once you know the basics of OOP are there any obvious hurdles in learning new languages? For instance - do you sometimes accidentally use some Java in C++? Would you all advise to stick to one language and learn it to genius level or does it make you a better programmer to understand a multitude of languages?
<Learning Rant>

Which phone do u prefer as programmer or comp sci student?
Android
Ios
Windows :/

I've always thought that in order to become a project manager it was necessary a period as programmer (as it was a sort of promotion).
But according to what I read here it seems like a lot of pm have no idea how to/how long it takes to develop software... Am I wrong or what?

I'm new in the programming world; when I need to learn something new I generally look at documentation and articles to get an understanding of the basics.
Then, if it's still interesting to me, I just try it out.

Sometimes I might ask a fellow more experienced programmer or a teacher to explain it to me.

Hey guys! So I just woke up from a dream in which I was talking with skilled programmer and he gave me awesome pro tip which I'd never realize exists!

But it was my dream so my idea. I have no idea how the f*ck this works but it's awesome. Is it just me or ?

Dear Passionate Programmer,

Do you ever wish you chose a different career?

I’m a self taught dev & wanted to make something of what I learned. So I moved from a small town, landed my first tech job (!dev), but the closer I get to my goal the more worried I get.

I’m worried that making my hobby a career will eventually lead me to loathing the one thing I love. And I’m not really sure if I should stay the course or turn around in hopes to save the ship.

1. Windows is unreliable and crappy.(I have had a lot of bad experience with windows.)

2. Mac is good but doesn't have a lot of things to tinker with.(Used mac, it runs on specific hardware only, for rich people who don't know how to use computers or for chad programmers )

3. Linux is the best. (The real programmer shit that has it all.)

What do you think?

Scott Meyers.
He's just amazing. The way he thinks, he teaches, is absolutely wonderful. He's inspired me on many occasions.

Herb Sutter.
Absolute beast of a programmer. His guru of the week series is a simple but effective way to communicate concepts and techniques in a language.

There are a lot more - Scott Hanselman, Martin Fowler, Andrew Koenig, Andrei Alexandrescu, Barabara Moo and many more.
They remind me of why I chose programming. It wasn't for money or fame, just to solve puzzles in cool ways. It's the way you can take a simple concept and apply it to great effect that brings me joy and these people do it relentlessly.

I’m not a web programmer; I’m an application and SQL developer. So when I’m tasked with scrapping a web site for an ETL feed, I thought it would just be a ton of substring and Post/Get calls.

Nope! There is this garbage called JBOSS.A4J where the page isn’t a page but a bunch of files that are merged together and then it isn’t “real” but like a bunch of Photoshop layers that “look” like a page. JavaScript functions based on key press and things like Select/Option that looks like an element but Selenium/PhantomJS (C#) can’t find it. Or my Google-Fu isn’t working.

Calling any Python programmer here (especially package maintainers)

I run Gentoo, so am responsible for maintaining the dependency tree (to a degree). When it comes to Python I have 2.7, 3.4, 3.5, 3.6 available. I'm always running into some package needing one version or another, and I can't just set a single version and forget it (which is fine. I'm running Gentoo).

I know that this is because python changes rapidly and so different libraries need different versions. Fine.

Why does this happen with Python and not C++, JavaScript, php, ruby, or any other languages on my system? I don't have 3 different versions installed to cover any other languages, and I don't spend time adding installation rules to cover them.

Why does Python need to be a pain in the ass about it?

When I started, in the early 80's, there was no internet, and books related to programming were hard to come by, so everything had to be learned by going to the library, or reading the manual that came with the compiler. Finally, in the early 90's, I got to attend programmer training in the Air Force. My first successful program was a D&D character generator.

When will devRant support code blocks?

Like `code here`

Or:
```
Code here
```

I mean it's a programmer community...

I really like that a lot of people in construction work just dont take anyones bullshit. If someone fucks up, it gets fixed. Sometimes with a lot of cussing.
Meanwhile as a programmer if you call out anyone or anything for doing something wrong, you get immediate backlash cause of it. Its a lot like that you are the problem for calling it out and not the one who caused the problem in the first place.

If ever there was something like dark ages, then we are living it: which programmer still knows what his statement does through the whole software stack down to the CPU (and could also account for what a modern CPU does with all its cores, caches, pipelines and -1, -2, -3 rings). Piled higher and deeper. I know nothing. So it's like being a cargo cult sorcerer, conjuring copy&pasted spells from SO to invoke Bjarne's, Linus' or whomevers forlorn spirit, so this shit won't break.

This lack of real human contact is getting on my nerves. Most of the text messages, discussions, especially in PR or design roads to follow develop into pissing contests. Always proving how much one is right and the others are wrong. -
I get so pissed off with little details, e.g. useless, wrongly handled boolean return values. Cannot understand how they don't see it my way. Or how they can feel superior by offering platitudes like "One should never use singletons". As if following some stupid rules and patterns from a book made you a better programmer instead of looking closely what each problem really needs. Or how they don't measure properly/scientifically or can't interpret the numbers.

My blood pressure already rising just from writing about it. Maybe I need to get some time off. But at the same time I feel like, they are doing it all wrong or not the way it should be done, so it's hard to let go. To obsessed with all that shit...

Being a programmer or dev is a lot like being a chef: (I've done both)
Sure it's something anyone can just jump in on with minimal experience, and probably make a little thing that kinda looks cool to the layman, but it takes experience and hard lessons to make something that will impress the judges.

A big part of my frustration as a programmer is that I don't have a lot of friends that are on a similar level that are willing to let me bounce ideas off of them. The last few years I've been flying blind with no external frame of reference except for the few really beginner dev friends that I have.

Where do you people socialize? IRC has long been... well, kinda dead compared to how it was 15 years ago or before. I have ideas that I'd love to discuss with others in the same sphere of interests but simply cannot find them.

Frustrating.

The moment of truth on wanting to be a programmer or not... Is when you learn about pointers in c language.

I started a company a while back that builds really simple wordpress sites and design for small businesses. I took a client on that needed things that were well above my skill level as a "programmer" and it's been equally frustrating and satisfying to consistently have the shit kicked out of me while spending hours trying to solve problem after problem. I've never worked for a company as a coder and one of the things I'm starting to wonder about is whether or not I'm "cut out" to be a programmer. I like doing it, but from a business owner perspective I don't know that I would actually want myself as an employee. My question is: does everyone feel like a ducking retard everyday they go at it with their job as a programmer?

I came from a procedural background, then adopted object-oriented programming, and now I am very enthusiastic about functional programming. Is this kind of an evolutionary path as a programmer? Or am I just late to the party?

And what paradigm follows?

++realationships
!rant

I have to make a hard decision. Either I choose to aim for a woman I knew from before first grade or aim for a programmer that I met on a joint project. It's a very hard decision and I need insight. For both people I only have mutual realations.

It's not my intention to start a web technology war so be nice do not do that 😁

Short Info: I'm "desktop programmer" (if that word exists) in either C # or Java 😎

question: I would like to create my own website, just simple to start with and maybe expand it later with eg. Arduino temperature meter
I have a look at 2 programming languages ​​that I can build it in, Js or PHP. I just do not know which one to choose, I'm probably the most to Js, but what are the pros and cons of these 2 and / or is there a completely different programming language I have to take a look at?

My color combinations sprint be like:

23* - current best
36
81
111
170 ...

Either i am a typical programmer or way too choosy!!!

So I am finishing school this year and I want to study computer science after that. They keep telling us at information events that a salary of 90.000+ €/year is quite usual for a good programmer...
I'm just wondering if it is really true or are they just talking bullshit? Does anyone have some experience or information for me? :)

Well I'm new to MacBook and it's OS, for like 1.5 months now, got pretty much hands on it to have my command over it. And as of now i am loving it ( since i came from Windows) judge me for it if you want to..🙄

Can you guys suggest some **MUST HAVE** tools/ programs/ apps, related or non-related to a programmer to make life easy on OSX?

When I have started working as engineer, coworkers addressed to me as a programmer or software developer. It was irritating since I am an electrical engineering and those days I didn't have much respect for computer science. Nowadays I know how hard is this field, since I have to define and code my soft, and I am proud if someone call me software developer or programmer

"Programming is a craft. At its simplest, it comes down to getting a
computer to do what you want it to do (or what your user wants it to do). As a programmer, you are part listener, part advisor, part interpreter, and part dictator. You try to capture elusive requirements and find a way of expressing them so that a mere machine can do them justice. You try to document your work so that others can understand it, and you try to
engineer your work so that others can build on it. What's more, you try to do all this against the relentless ticking of the project clock. You work small miracles every day.

It's a difficult job. "
- The pragmatic programmer

There will always be times when you will need to understand/modify horribly written code, or have to work with a fellow "programmer" who is clueless about what programming actually is.

In such situations, not losing your cool is a necessary evil.

Should I change my Job?

# Pro current job
- extremly convinient in terms of family compatibility
- low stress
- awesome boss
- I worked on this software for years and can see it gaining maturity
- can not complain about salary

# Contra current job
- always the same boring tech stack, little development as programmer and none beyond that
- I can't see any greater good or social added value in what I do!
- small team and very little opportunities to meat new poeple from other departements or what
- colleagues are okay but conservative and boring, also they do a lot of wfh (take in consideration i am rather extrovert so this is an issue)
- no work trips (see above)

Sorry, but no sorry.

I don't see that it is ok to make stupid of other people. I mean, it is ok for non-IT people/non-specialist/students didn't know that HTML programmer is not a thing or we can't just turn of the problem/bugs if sth gone wrong.

They aren't stupid. They just misinformed. Just smile (or laugh?) and explain to them.

No one is born knowledgeable of everything. We even learn how to walk, how to read, how to program.

By doing mistakes.

How did you learn to think "like a programmer"?

I am starting to learn C++ and I am trying it out on exercism. I am really at the beggining but when I make it work after so much frustration(based on devrant posts I guess that's part of the job) I always see people having shorter/better/more effective codes which makes sense to me but I wouldn't thought of it that way.

Is there way to make such thinking better or does it simply come with practice ?

once upon a time, i get interviewed by a software vendor. i am applied for system analyst because i think i have to level up from previous works as programmer, then i passed the test. after that i get interviewed for the second times and they told me i could start to work immediately. at first day i did programmer tasks instead of analyzing systems flow. i thought it just for exercises more my analytical skill through programming. i did it for 4 months until they add new employees, some of them are system analyst and they are fresh graduated. we chat and ask them about their experiences and they told me they are not programmers or system analyst before and no test!. i dig the info more deep, and i found they could get the job because they are graduated from bonafide university. until i resign i still a programmer and i hate to work at software vendor anymore because their corporate clients are all suck.

A combination of life literally pushing me in this direction and my own interest in everything that is smart or complex.

But, I hope it serves as a stepping stone for me to achieve better things than being "just a programmer/dev"

To any Java developers. I been programming for about 2 years on and off. Im pretty good when given a task. But from your experience. What techniques, or methodologies should a Java programmer know of he wants to really get serious and get a job? Do you guys have portfolio projects?

Hi I just joined this great Community and here is my thoughts about programming tap "++" if you agree if not then change your mind.

For me programming is like becoming wizard of next generation. Like wizard you can control or create anything because in future you will find electronics containing programs written by a wizard (programmer). We are not people who can repair computer but greater then that because a pc is just a box without programs (software)
You are reading this article because you loves challenges and you are hard working too.

Programmer lesson #3
Always focus on a single task while coding...
If you encounter any non blocking bug or additional task add it in `Do-it-later` list...
If you don't...the bug or task might take majority of crucial time which you should actually utilise for the main task at hand...

Do u call ur self programmer, coder or developer ! I am software engineer though.

None of my colleagues are programmers, I explain the problem to them. Then suddenly I see the errors in my ways. Or I start composing an email explaining the problem to another programmer, I usually figure it out before I hit send. The method has been given a name, I've forgotten what. Anyone knows?

rant or !rant
Hey ranters have you checked podcast of devRant on Youtube. It's great.
All dev of this great community please subscribe to devRantApp on YouTube and increase it's views. While I'm ranting about it has only 1.2k views and 51 likes. Please check that out.

@dfox and @trogus Just listened to a podcast of devRant featuring Andy Hunt "Author of the Pragmatic Programmer".
My favorite line he said is " In effort to evaluate betn mediocre programmer from great programmer certification available is pathetic, this is why Alien don't come to visit us anymore".
He also talks about RubberDuck and many more.

High school robotics team. Total of three programmers and one coach who understands programming concepts, but not syntax or anything. One programmer, putting it bluntly, is incompetent and doesn't even bother to learn anything. The other one that isn't me is apparently fucking lead programmer and team leader (IM A SENIOR. SHES A FUCKING SOPHOMORE. WTF.) and she has done about 5% of the programming this year. I've done the rest with the help of a programmer from Ford whom we bring in. All she does is tell you to do shit for her, and if you don't, she pulls the authority card on you.

And I have maybe three days, after a full day of school mind you, until I need almost every part working on the robot code. Fuck me.

If my 'official' job title was programmer but I was also doing network troubleshooting and administration as well as server configuration cause we had no one experienced to do it should I include that on my resume or would it look fake?

Should I only include the programming stuff since that was my job title

I love the job hunt, just thinking about ending my life everyday now. Maybe I'm just a bad programmer - or just completely dumb.

Anyone have any advice on getting front end developer jobs?

what am i going to do today? whatever the fuck the SYSTEM throws at me... or what my manager wants me to waste time on... ah , programmer life when one has a conundrum of doing what you like to do but not end up doing that because there are other mountains to climb with squirrels eating your nuts...