Anyone working at CERN in Geneva?

Applying today. Tired of wasting my talents at big tech.

I met my girlfriend via online dating and she is often checking out recipes on social media, so I came up with the idea to combine cooking and Tinder as a tiny side project.

I built an app that lets you swipe recipes to add them to your cookbook and called it "Daily Cook" and it is available on both Android and iOS. :)

Why write any specs anymore? The juniors don't read them, nor do the product managers. I'm just talking to myself at this point.

So, I waste time writing these nice detailed tickets, then when I go to review the pull request, the whole pile of horseshit is half done, and when I ask the product managers for resolutions, they don't have a clue either.

So just give me the whole fucking app, I'll do the whole damn thing myself. See you on Mars in 2025 while you and your pleb asses serve me fries and burgers.

Dev: * In the middle of pushing to prod *

Manager: Hey btw I forgot to mention the client asked for these 5 features awhile back as a part of this update and they just reminded me about them, I haven’t created tickets yet or told anyone about this. Will these features be included in the update that’s going out today?

Dev: …

it wasn't really useless but i spent months of my internship making a software that was shelved because "it was taking too long to be made". half of my year in the trash

I lost my job 😅 tbh did me a favour. I was backend, this guy was frontend and was a typical opinionated JavaScript, magpie dev and I just did not give 2 fucks about what he thought was “amazballs” and we had a small tiff, we’ll he was arguing, I was trying to do my job and I just didn’t care enough about his feelings on the subject, forget what it was about but I think it was trivial. But anyway, I was let go soon after 😅

anyone who says women gossip don't pay enough attention to guys, specially when they talk about women. what is it to me that you don't think x girl dresses well or that this aspect of her is unattractive? we're at work, it's not tinder

Flexbox is possibly the greatest thing to happen to me

> asks for better pay
> starts trying to evaluate the quality of our efforts
> complains about doing things that are not good in the long run
> spends time mastering best practices
> unemployed

Beginners be like, "First rule of programming, If it works don't touch it". But experts will be like "Why does it work?". That's why they are called experts.

today was shit. I'm full of stuff to do at work, we're extremely understaffed, no one will stop pestering us, I'm failing at doing my tasks and our stack is extremely useless for the stuff we're required to do. on top of that I'm in physical pain and i had a test. oh and my computer is dead so i have to sort that as well. fuck. I'll just eat sushi and pass out. tomorrow will be worse.

all of our tech is ancient and insufficient, I'm always let down

Shit will hit the fan pretty soon. We're understaffed, the team is all talking about jumping ship and all other teams rely on our work, so if we jump ship, it sinks. It's really amazing that management is unaware or choosing to actively ignore the possibility. Either way, they're fucking up big time. Honestly, if it happens, it will be well deserved, it just sucks for everyone else working under them

Me 5 years ago : "Guys we are gonna have a perf..."

CEO : "Not now, we need to deliver that functionality asap"

Me 3 years ago : "Guys, performances/scalibiluity will hit us like a trucK'

CEO : "Not nowem a new functionality needs to be done ASAP"

Me 1 year ago : "We are gonna be hit by a tank. We won't even understand what happens"

CEO : "I'm sure we can manage"

2 Days ago : Plateform quasiment down, response time in MIONUTES instead of milliseconds, database on fire.

CEO : "WHAT THE FUCK !!! GO FIXC I ASAP WE CANNOT HAVE THAT SHIT HAPPEN".

This is a brief summaru of working in a startup.

.

other devs: Anime
me: Ben 10

IE is dead ?!

NOT SO FAST.

The whole singin in Visual 2022 uses... Internet explorer renderer and... doesn't work on a Windows Server 2022 because of... "Enchanced internet explorer security policy".

I'm dying inside.

Interviewer: We keep having devs take off for other opportunities after a short period of time. We need someone loyal who will be sticking around for the long haul. Oh wait, you only have one dev company you’ve worked for on your resume? Yeah that’s not good, we only hire devs who have worked for lots and lots of companies.

Dev: …

The brief history of Facebook open source:
- FB releases React under an oppressive licence that tells "woopsie, can't sue FB if you use React"
- a lot of money goes into making React popular to gain leverage from mass adoption
- VMware bans React in their company
- FB releases Flux to bring state management. It flops. Replaced by what some Russian student wrote in several evenings (Redux)
- Preact is released. It's faster than React, and it has MIT licence. Vue beats React in GitHub stars.
- Under mass pressure, FB changes React's licence to MIT. Initial plan to gain leverage fails spectacularly.
- FB releases Flow Types. It flops. Replaced by TypeScript.
- FB releases their own app market for React Native. It flops.
- FB releases Relay. It flops. Replaced by Apollo.
- FB tries to push React.Suspense for the whole JS landscape to obey and comply to how it works. Community says "Fuck You".
- FB releases react-native-web. It flops.
- Web Components are out in all browsers, adopted as a standard. React doesn't support them.
- Google releases Lit, a virtual DOM framework on top of Web Components to fuck with React. It's a massive success.
- React 18 is out. Still no Web Components support.
- (you are here)

Trying my luck...

Y(n_n)Y

y'know, if your coworkers annoy the shit out of you, sometimes it's worth looking at how the company is treating them.

a lot of what i have to deal with spans from an environment that demands speed at the expense of quality and won't reward developers for their effort, cause they simply don't understand the effort it takes. we have a tiny team responsible for a nation wide program, and people are just shocked when they hear this, because the work we do is in fact amazing for a group of 5. everyone is just tired, overworked and badly recompensed for it. this shit will hit the fan pretty soon

FUCK IT

After YEARS of research, I couldn't find a single working load testing tool

So this weekend I created my own. With blackjack and hookers.

It's limited to my app, so not reusable, but wow in 1 weekend I got more data and found more infra problems than in the past 3 years.

i had this weird dream. i invented a programming language that was connected to the physical world. every time an object was instantiated during runtime, a 3D printer would print this object immediately in real time, into the void of a confined space without gravitation (like a physical stack, but not like a stack). if this object was passed objects as function parameters of its methods, these little objects were printed as well and temporarily moved into the orbit of this object, orbiting it like electrons or little moons.

devrant should have a poll feature, I'd love to do some here

Just very diplomatically told the VP of Engineering to kick rocks (fuck off) for calling me at nearly 9pm to talk about project planning for a thing that isn’t even in active development.

Asked point blank if we were dealing with a life or death thing. He said no. I replied “then we can talk about this tomorrow”.

He balks and tries to tell me how important it is.

I cut him off “I wasn’t asking you, I am telling you it’s a quarter to 9 and I’m at a bar. This call is over. We’ll talk tomorrow. Good NIGHT”. With as much aggression and pissed off emphasis as I could muster on the ending.

Stay tuned to find out if I still have a job after this.

gotta have clear boundaries, specially with phones. I don't even think about code solutions outside of work, i leave that stuff in the office. we're not a "family", I'm not doing anything for love and my extra hours are a rarity.

the problem of being slightly competent is that they'll give you more and more work others aren't doing. sucks to be the one carrying the party irl

They have won my time and respect now, nice.

Kinda rant, kinda not.

At the start of this year all of my colleagues left company beacause of low raise. This process took like 3 months. After that I automatically became most senior in our team with 8 months of experience in my current company and 3 years total. It was rough days and still is. One downside is some days I can't even touch my own development tasks. Sometimes I ask for other developers help and assign them tasks. I'm evolving into team lead I guess. Yeah, more like junior team lead. But after few weeks I got a call from our cto and he told me they are raising my salary even I had a raise just 3 months ago. And he told me it will be raised again soon. Even my workload increased I'm still kinda having fun. I think its a bit early for me to be good at this role but I'm learning how to manage people :) Well, at least I got a raise