Boss: I need you to start on this new project, how long will it take?

Me: well, hard to say with no specs whatsoever...

Boss: just your best guess

Me: 4 to 6 month I guess?

Boss: so 3 months it is. When can you start?

Me: no specs, sir...and I said 4 to 6

Boss: the specs are almost ready, I know you can simplify it

Me: ...

Boss: just start with the basic infrastructure already

(4 months later)

Boss: here you are the specs, they might change a little in behaviour and design, but all the main stuff is here

(Hands me a A3 with a total of 21 pictures in InDesign)

Me: o....Kay. what happens when I click here?

Boss: oh, we should still talk about the app workflow, I'll get you updated

(2 weeks and 16 total rewrites of the "specs" later)

Boss: you told me it was a 2 months job, why aren't you finished yet? We must deploy in 3 weeks!

Me: ...

In my current company we're being forced to use Windows for web development... I can't use a VM because of the hardware specs.

This is now my screensaver.

On a break I went into a Best Buy to browse laptops. I had no intention on buying from them because they suck, but I just wanted to touch a few and look at specs. A salesman then thought it was a smart idea to approach me. Immediately, he was talking down to me about specs and asking if I needed it for email, Facebook, Instagram, and the like. I'll be honest, I am super girlie in my appearance and mannerisms. So I get it, I suppose. The big pseudo-nerd is going to help the little girl find a cute, social media laptop. He actually walked me over to a pink HP Stream lol. Sure, I like pink, but I don't want a useless paperweight of a machine. When I mentioned I need a new rig for coding, he actually chuckled and said "really?". So I replied "yes really, you presumptuous cockbag" and walked out. Needless to say, I won't be buying there.

Anyone else following these guys?

Dad: What do you think about this laptop?
*looking at specs... Raising eyes. Intel i3 first gen., 2 GB RAM*
Me: Nice calculator

Friend: "Why did you buy a Macbook Pro? Look at the specs, the RAM, the storage, the processor.. heck, ain't it overpriced? I wouldn't if I were you"

Me: "No, I didn't buy it. My company gave it to me when I joined them."

Friend: "Oh.. okay... hey, is there any job opening in your company?"

My linkedin profile = ~7 years as an iOS developer. All of my job titles are "iOS Developer", "iOS Engineer" or "Mobile lead".

Recruiter: Hi, your profile looks great, I have a number of open roles matching your skills. Would you be free for a call to discuss your salary expectations, skills, what you are looking for etc.

Me: Hi, sorry I don't have time for a call right now, here are answers to your questions. Can you send me on any iOS job specs you have and i'll review. <answers>

Recruiter: Sorry I have no open iOS roles at this time.

Bitch ... ima find you and make you understand

Isn't that a great way to comment on visual components?

Dev: So tell me some specs about the app you want.
Client: something like facebook.
Dev: you know facebook has too many features for even having a price tag?
Client: what? Will I pay too? I have the idea.

....

Me: ok fuck it, if the Mac mini gets refreshed I'm selling my desktop and getting one...

*Checks news and sees they got a refresh*

*Looks at cost to specs*

Me: ha... Ha... Ha... Nope...

Since everybody is posting a picture of their hardware and DE here's mine!

Xiaomi notebook air 13 with Elementary OS

i5-6200U @2.8 GHz
NVIDIA GeForce 940MX
8 GB DDR4 Ram
256 PCIe SSD
1.28kg

I was almost finished a website when the client changed their mind and decided that what they actually wanted was an app for Android and iOS because that's apparently what I promised them.

I double-checked the contract to make sure. It said I was building them a website that would be tested for mobile-friendliness on browsers from phones using Android and iOS. :/

Me: I'd like a new phone please.
Manufacturer: Okay, what do you look for in a phone?
Me: Well as long as the other specs are good, it's important to have a headphone port, SD card slot, and removable battery.
Manufacturer: Okay, fingerprint scanner. Got it.
Me: What?
Manufacturer: The only thing you want is a fingerprint scanner?
Me: No I don't care about that, what I want is-
Manufacturer: A fingerprint scanner, we know. Every device needs one.
Me: But-
Manufacturer: Shhh... Don't worry, we know our customers.

Friend: I bought a new phone.
Me: nice!
Friend: It's really fast coz it has 3gb ram!!
Me: okay... Other specs? Cpu? Camera?
Friend: 13 MEGAPIXELS!
Me: yeah but other specs?
Friend: doesn't matter! The photos are of 8mb!
Me: yeah. Best phone ever. 😑😓

How I chose a new smartphone:

- specs good?
Yes: good, continue.
No: hmm i might live.

- looks good?
Yes: OOHH MUCH BEAUTY, SUCH AWESOME, LET'S GO TO THE LAST ONE!!
No: 😩. I'll live I guess, last step :/.

- can find a rooting guide on DDG within a fee minutes?
Yes: YES YES I LOVE YOU ALREADY I'LL BUY YOU ❤😍
NO: FUUUCK. Next.

FUCK FUCK FUCK

More chinese APIs to integrate :(
More shitty code samples
More incomplete, disorganized specs
More Chenglish
More idiotic, redundant and pointless "security measures"
More retarded API names
More cryptic parameters

Best advice I can give anyone: when you see a chinese API RUN LIKE HELL. Get sick. Get pregnant. Go on vacation. Have someone tell them you died.

FUCK

The new minimum recommended system specs for Android Studio are in

My time as a Dev have given me deep mistrust of the following words;
Only
Just
simple
Quick
Easy

Any requirements, specs or feature files presented with the above words should immediately be deleted and/or burned if in hard copy.

Completely rebuilt my pc and get to sell my old one to my boss so that I can get paid to work on it 😂😂😂

Specs:
Gtx 1080 ti
I7 7700k
B250 motherboard
16g 2300mhz ram
240g SSD
1tb HHD

I was working on a website for a client and he wanted an illegal (breaking TOS) functionality and I refused to implement that part so he paid me $800 less than what he owed me. Unfortunately there was no real contract besides some emails detailing the specs and payment, and if I pushed it any further he would've charged back the money he already paid me. Basically I'm screwed :/

I guess now I know how important it is to get those contracts and detailed specs written out from the very beginning.

🎶 On the sixth day of debugging my program gave to me ...

6 failed tests
5 help forums
4 broken dependencies
3 edge cases
2 moving specs
And 1 keyboard smashed in rage 🎶

This little carol is dedicated to the buggy-as-fuck nodejs project I was given for fixes and updates.

Happy holidays everyone

Absolutely hate the awful Machines we have to code on at the office, went through three laptops in the space of a year.

All of the them the exact model and specs probably purchased from some tech museum. They would hang and BSOD several times a day and made me look bad when my bit of code wasn't ready on time for a delivery.

Lol , even running spotify while running a couple of dev tools wasn't possible without causing the music to stutter.

After a year i managed to get my hands onto an old Dell desktop when a colleague left that had better specs that would sort of do the job. Wished i could reformat it but alas we aren't allowed to do anything remotely like that.

Finally got fed up of it all, since i bought myself a little treat, an Intel Skull canyon.

Awesome little piece of kit , pretty damn powerful and looks cool too.
Oh an on quiet afternoons I do get to game a little 🤗
The integrated iris pro gpu is surprisingly powerful, it can handle some of the older AAA titles although I haven't really put it through the test yet.

i leave it in the office
Secured with a kensingon lock and locked in my desk drawers
But I usually take it home over weekends

This is what the specs for our newest project look like. FML.

Since my one plus is gone and I can’t stand my fucking iPhone I finally bought a new phone.

Couldn’t find a new one with my required specs which was compatible with Lineage but at least found this rootable one so I can block any google app from reaching the outside.

The specs though 😍

Eh ehe hehe he eh ehehe

On top of burnout, codebase issues, spec issues, burnout, the product butt that keeps on crapping, burnout, burnout, loathing for my employer... My local Apple SSL cert expired. I can’t finish this and push it anywhere for testing. I can’t even run my own specs anymore. And I don’t have permissions to make a new one. I can’t do anything at all.

Ehe he hehe

Deadline is in two days, and I’m just sitting here laughing quietly to myself. I might finally be going crazy

I found a loose bit of tangle, started to pull, and the world decided it was time to fall apart. Reality said it’s time to go. And I wasn’t even a good screwdriver dev. Byeee ~

Just spoke with another teams developer. (She's using Java)

Her: so we get a json object from your service, I want an array
Me: well that's not what you said in the specs... And it's not hard since it's just a Map
Her: what Map? It's JSonObject I need an Array
Me: give me the library your using..
Her: here...

I Google the documentation and methods and paste the link and the methods to use:

-length (she also wanted count)
-toJsonArray

This ain't JS, just use the . operator and go thru all the methods' docs... Or learn to use Google

I got a used computer case in a second hand hardware store and it still has the sticker with the specs of the computer they wanted to sell it with on it. It was going to be a moderate to shity pc. I built an absolute computing monster in it (i7 6900k, 32GB ram, 23TB storage). I like having visitors over and telling them this is the primary computer I use to do my high particle count fluid simulations and little bigdata projects with.

This is my Research Purpose VM, It had been lying around unused for too long.
P.S. I know my specs suck actually

This is my little "setup".

Have a gaming laptop, too. Battery is barely dead but meeh. Maybe I'll try installing ACK... ehm... ARSCH linux on that 🤔

Some specs as new screenshot in a comment below ☺

Get assigned ticket.
Finish the most of the feature. Finish most of the specs.
Push.

Second dev wants to own accounting half of the ticket.
Rip out half my changes, rewrite specs.
Push.

Code review asks for minor changes.
Finish them.
Push.

Product creep creeps the scope.
Finish the feature again.
Push.

Product creep creep-creeps the scope.
Finish the feature again.
Push.

New release happens.
Merge in master; fix conflicts. Run specs; random unrelated specs fail, some fail intermittently. Rabbit holes of complicated, unexplored, obviously-flawed code.
Fuck that. Push.

No matter how much product owners claim "bugs have priority over anything else", "we value high quality structured code", and "we do test driven development"...

...Once a big client wants a feature to be developed before they sign up, dirty code will be written from napkin specs, and that code will always be refractored "soon".

My dad's old MS-DOS computer (can't remember specs) when I was 5 or 6 years old. This got me into gaming. I always had to ask him to execute the games I wanted to play cause I didn't know how to do it. One of the first games I ever played was Wolfenstein 3D. Was so scary I didn't want to exit the first room :D

When your team members report a bug in my code, when they actually changed the specs and didn't tell me 😳

Not the equipment I deserve, but the equipment I can afford. My phone has better specs than it...

Sick.
Worst sleep of my life last night.
Freezing cold, weak, sore, can’t think, starving but can’t eat or drink, as low energy as a dead Chinese “heavy duty” battery.

Finished some changes to my feature today anyway; everything should be done now. Refactored some specs, and got them all to pass.

Falling asleep on my closet floor. Heavy winter coat, fuzzy pants, space heater. It’s warm in here and there’s a shelf for my lappy. Floor is uncomfortable but idc. I’m so tired and out of it I don’t even notice.

This sucks.

At least I have the rest of the week off.

Note to self: It's NEVER that simple.

Web Development on a single laptop is tough....

Window 1: editor, tabs for markup, styles, server, terminal

Window 2: browser...so small that everything is in low res mode, if not mobile.

Window 3: database, stress testing system and making sure data flows properly.

Window 4: design specs.

*shudders*

PO: Here's a small cool feature I thought of, should be easy enough *shows very basic draft spec*
Me: Cool, how does it work for logged out users? What about customers in Spain? Does it work with US sales tax? Do we need to update the privacy policy? Do we have translations? What's the fallback if it breaks? Who will be maintaining the content?
PO: ...
PO: I'll get back to you

*never hears about feature again*

Cant find cheap VPS with good specs.
Fuck it im building my own.

Fuck you, you motherfucking fuck. How DARE you have the capacity to sell fake fucking chips on Amazon and make me fucking waste hours of my god damn fucking nights trying to program your shitty, lazy-ass implementation of an EEPROM.

I followed the datasheet specs down to the fucking microsecond just to find that nothing would write to the chip, and then spent hours of my goddamn life trying to figure out what I was doing wrong, making myself feel like a fucking failure for not being able to write 1s and 0s to a few pins. Fuck you, fuck you with a giant horse cock with needles on the tip

I have a VPS for under a year from Digital Ocean. No idea what to do with it.

Specs:
20GB Disk
512MB RAM
Debian 8.9 x64
A spare domain from Namecheap
IP: 127.0.0.1

Ideas?

At first I got excited about the new MacBook Air specs. Then I saw the price... It's a fucking joke to spend so much money for this trash ass hardware you get for it. I mean 1400€ for dual core 8gb ram 128gb ssd?!?!?!

Fuck you

Client asks for a *simple* form in his page. I do the job. He likes it. But turns out what he really wants is a tool to create forms, with editable questions-answers and A/B testing capabilities. FUCK!

I'm a little confused though...

Woke up this morning with a fuck this shit mood. I need to write test specs for a system I don't know shit about, and it seems no one who work with this system wants to talk to me, so I gave up and started devranting and reading a game dev book. Fuck this shitty job.

So I got an e-mail from a recruiter (a.k.a. recruiter spam) today looking for a candidate with four "essential skills" and my head almost exploded when I read what they were. I have regained my composure just enough to be able to write this rant, but I'm still not myself. I recommend sitting down for this. Are you ready?

The four "essential skills" were:
Java, Jenkins, Eclipse, IntelliJ

I don't know where to begin. Motherfucker, where do you get off telling me which IDE to use? Oh wait, you didn't, you expected me to be an "expert" with two completely different ones, you numb nuts. Why the fuck would I be? I swear to fuck these idiots would probably screen out the best programmer in the world because s/he uses VI/emacs/Atom/Sublime/fucking-Notepad.

I can hear them saying "oh, you don't know IntelliJ? Sorry, we need an expert in that."

Fuck off you filthy cunt! No, sorry, I take that back, I shouldn't be mean to the mentally disabled.

Also, Jenkins? Really? Any developer can pick up how to use Jenkins to its full effect in a matter of hours, or a couple of days at most.

Why do companies hire these jackasses to do a job as important as recruitment? Why do they write job specs that are so incredibly stupid? I almost replied to express interest so I could go to the interview and throw a bucket of red paint on them (because they're making me bleed inside).

Where's the Tylenol?

So I'm back from vacation! It's my first day back, and I'm feeling refreshed and chipper, and motivated to get a bunch of things done quickly so I can slack off a bit later. It's a great plan.

First up: I need to finish up tiny thing from my previous ticket -- I had overlooked it in the description before. (I couldn't test this feature [push notifications] locally so I left it to QA to test while I was gone.)

It amounted to changing how we pull a due date out of the DB; some merchants use X, a couple use Y. Instead of hardcoding them, it would use a setting that admins can update on the fly.

Several methods deep, the current due date gets pulled indirectly from another class, so it's non-trivial to update; I start working through it.

But wait, if we're displaying a due date that differs from the date we're actually using internally, that's legit bad. So I investigate if I need to update the internals, too.

After awhile, I start to make lunch. I ask my boss if it's display-only (best case) and... no response. More investigating.

I start to make a late lunch. A wild sickness appears! Rush to bathroom; lose two turns.

I come back and get distracted by more investigating. I start to make an early dinner... and end up making dinner for my monster instead.

Boss responds, tells me it's just for display (yay!) and that we should use <macro resource feature> instead.

I talk to Mr. Product about which macros I should add; he doesn't respond.

I go back to making lunch-turn-dinner for myself; monster comes back and he's still hungry (as he never asks for more), so I make him dinner.

I check Slack again; Mr. Product still hasn't responded. I go back to making dinner.

Most of the way through cooking, I get a notification! Product says he's talking it through with my boss, who will update me on it. Okay fine. I finish making dinner and go eat.

No response from boss; I start looking through my next ticket.

No response from boss. I ping him and ask for an update, and he says "What are you talking about?" Apparently product never talked to bossmang =/ I ask him about the resources, and he says there's no need to create any more as the one I need already exists! Yay!

So my feature went from a large, complex refactor all the way down to a -1+2 diff. That's freaking amazing, and it only took the entire day!

I run the related specs, which take forever, then commit and push.

Push rejected; pull first! Fair, I have been gone for two weeks. I pull, and git complains about my .gitignore and some local changes. fine, whatever. Except I forgot I had my .gitignore ignored (skipped worktree). Finally figure that out, clean up my tree, and merge.

Time to run the specs again! Gems are out of date. Okay, I go run `bundle install` and ... Ruby is no longer installed? Turns out one of the changes was an upgrade to Ruby 2.5.8.

Alright, I run `rvm use ruby-2.5.8` and.... rvm: command not found. What. I inspect the errors from before and... ah! Someone's brain fell out and they installed rbenv instead of the expected rvm on my mac. Fine, time to figure it out. `rbenv which ruby`; error. `rbenv install --list`; skyscraper-long list that contains bloody everything EXCEPT 2.5.8! Literally 2.5 through 2.5.7 and then 2.6.0-dev. asjdfklasdjf

Then I remember before I left people on Slack made a big deal about upgrading Ruby, so I go looking. Dummy me forgot about the search feature for a painful ten minutes. :( Search found the upgrade instructions right away, ofc. I follow them, and... each step takes freaking forever. Meanwhile my children are having a yelling duet in the immediate background, punctuated with screams and banging toys on furniture.

Eventually (seriously like twenty-five minutes later) I make it through the list. I cd into my project directory and... I get an error message and I'm not in the project directory? what. Oh, it's a zsh thing. k, I work around that, and try to run my specs. Fail.

I need to update my gems; k. `bundle install` and... twenty minutes later... all done.

I go to run my specs and... RubyMine reports I'm using 2.5.4 instead of 2.5.8? That can't be right. `ruby --version` reports 2.5.8; `rbenv version` reports 2.5.8? Fuck it, I've fought with this long enough. Restarting fixes everything, right? So I restart. when my mac comes back to life, I try again; same issue. After fighting for another ten minutes, I find a version toggle in RubyMine's settings, and update it to 2.5.8. It indexes for five minutes. ugh.

Also! After the restart, this company-installed surveillance "security" runs and lags my computer to hell. Highest spec MacBook Pro and it takes 2-5 seconds just to switch between desktops!

I run specs again. Hey look! Missing dependency: no execjs. I can't run the specs.

Fuck. This. I'll just push and let the CI run specs for me.

I just don't care anymore. It's now 8pm and I've spent the past 11 hours on a -1+2 diff!

What a great first day back! Everything is just the way I left it.

Common lies told by developers?
Here's one of mine: "It works on my screen".
I then proceed to ask them their specs while I think of the solution.

Client's API returns a very weird response that changes its structure depending on its content.

When a array field has more than 1 children it returns:

{
"field" : [
{ "name1" : "value1"},
{ "name2" : "value2"}
]
}

So far so good. However, the fuckery happens when it has 1 children:

{
"field" : { "name1" : "value1"}
}

WTF! So the client API can return either a JSON object or an array and we cant trust the specs they gave us.

Teacher gave us the wrong specs for a project we had to do on 3 years, learned it 4 weeks before the final test ...

550 GB graphics..... but will it run Crysis?

Client:
This has to be done with in 160 hours.
Me:
Seems doable

After maybe 100 hours of developing:
Client:
This is great and all but we decided to change the specs little (a lot) surely you can code this whole thing again in the rest of the time.

At a previous job, I worked with a graphic designer who knew it all.

The first design he gave me, all font sizes were in points, and way too big.

I asked for them in pixels.

He said points and pixels are exactly the same.

I explained that they were not, when you're using a browser. He got visibly angry, and stormed out of the office to cool down.

When he came back, I sent him a link explaining the difference between points and pixels for digital media.

He sent me pixel sizes.

Next project, same exact thing happens, complete with him angrily storming out of the room.

By the third project, I just started picking my own font sizes, and ignored his point specs.

I heard we were showing off server specs 😏

When your specs simply won't run new code no matter what you do, non-conditioned (and unmodified) calls don't get called, and 2+2 somehow equals Q, you know it's time to give up and restart the simulation by going to bed.

Except it's early afternoon and the project deadline is tonight. 😔

Back to debugging reality.

This is my desktop setup reveal 1 of 2, I wasn't sure about the monitor stand (which is why I only got the 2-arm) but really love the extra space it gave me.

3 screens help a whole lot, hardware is a bit outdated but it works for at least low end VR development.

my specs are (if anyone cares):

gtx 970 (surprisingly great for vr)
i5 4690k
asus z97 mark 2
16gb ram

I work with junior developers, guiding them and teaching them on a daily basis.. my biggest pet peeve?
When they finish typing code and without testing it ask: "Is this right?"

HOW THE FUCK DO I KNOW? Seriously! I don't know what all your specs are, maybe try running it before asking??

ffs.

I was here, before it was wk119...

This is my desk. There are many like it, but this is mine.

The setup is a little dated, but I love it, and when remote working, I've to use the company laptop anyway.

Specs:
Intel Xeon 4x3.3GHz
16gb DDR3
geforce gtx 680
SAMSUNG evo SSD+some HDDs
3 dell ips displays with display port
And my beloved g15 & g700

Fuck yeah!!! After over a month of being stuck without a phone, the funds have finally been released to buy a new one. It'll be the OnePlus 6T. Kernel source available on launch, wicked specs that rival PC's - 8GB of LPDDR4 RAM, a quarter TB of storage... Fuck yeah!!!! Never settle indeed!!! :D

It took me almost the entire day just to outline the specs I need to write for the feature I just finished. Writing them next week is going to be arduous. Ugh.

I’m debugging some intermittently failing specs.

The problem is, they only fail when RUNNING THE ENTIRE FUCKING FILE, which, naturally, takes TEN FUCKING YEARS.

And it’s not like they fail when they get run first. No. They only fail when run near the end.

ASDFHSGSKSHDHDKAJDKF

Testing hell.

I'm working on a ticket that touches a lot of areas of the codebase, and impacts everything that creates a ... really common kind of object.

This means changes throughout the codebase and lots of failing specs. Ofc sometimes the code needs changing, and sometimes the specs do. it's tedious.

What makes this incredibly challenging is that different specs fail depend on how i run them. If I use Jenkins, i'm currently at 160 failing tests. If I run the same specs from the terminal, Iget 132. If I run them from RubyMine... well, I can't run them all at once because RubyMine sucks, but I'm guessing it's around 90 failures based on spot-checking some of the files.

But seriously, how can I determine what "fixed" even means if the issues arbitrarily pass or fail in different environments? I don't even know how cli and rubymine *can* differ, if I'm being honest.

I asked my boss about this and he said he's never seen the issue in the ten years he's worked there. so now i'm doubly confused.

Update: I used a copy of his db (the same one Jenkins is using), and now rspec reports 137 failures from the terminal, and a similar ~90 (again, a guess) from rubymine based on more spot-checking. I am so confused. The db dump has the same structure, and rspec clears the actual data between tests, so wtf is even going on? Maybe the encoding differs? but the failing specs are mostly testing logic?

none of this makes any sense.
i'm so confused.

It feels like i'm being asked to build a machine when the laws of physics change with locality. I can make it work here just fine, but it misbehaves a little at my neighbor's house, and outright explodes at the testing ground.

Got a new eval board. It came in with a stock firmware, had its own IP and naturally its own webGUI. I wanted to check what was under the hood. So I SSH'd in to the device, and was prompted to enter the username. There weren't any specs or documentation.

*Hmm, let's try root*
User: root
Password: *Eh? Well, what the heck* admin
.
.
.
root@evalboard#

Muhahaha!!! Meet your hacker, eval board!

Why the hell does the client keeps changing the bloody specs? Do they think that they've bought us with their money?

😣😣😣😣

*Presents finished product to client
Client: We won't pay until you add this new feature that was never in the original specs.
*One week later after adding new feature
Client: Uhh, actually there's something else we want, do that then you get paid.

😬😬😬😬😬😬😬

Stacktraces with zero useful information.
Two full days of breakpoint stepping and framework spelunking.
"bifurcated" object creation.
Delegatd everything.
Inheritence hell fucking everywhere.
Models with both `has_one :x` AND `has_many :x`!?
Automatically-created objects when reading from magic virtual columns!?

What the fuck is this fucking four-dimensional spaghetti monstrosity and just how many angel puppies did I torture and maim in a previous life to deserve this nightmare?

And all of this to fix 12 fucking specs, out of the 1,780 this fucking ticket requires me to break and fix. FML

Walking on water and developing software from a specification are easy if both are frozen. (Edward V Berard)

Marketing : Do you think we can implement this feature in a system?

Dev : Hmm....*checking specs*...This will...

Marketing : *interrupts* we have already signed a contract with a client.

Dev : ugh......

When project is finished, everything is according specs, and on final review the client says: "everything looks nice! But I would like to change just a few small details. I would like a different design and functionality".

Seriously?!

>starts a new project
>new project is kernel
>clinl.tiff
>implements a big bunch of C++ stl
>wants to implement a FS
>needs ATA-Drivers
>ofuck.vmw
>Writes Ata drivers
>Ata drivers don't work on ACPI systems
>i_want_to_kill_kevin.fossil
>implements ACPI according to osdevwiki
>doesn't work
>decides to read the acpi specs

love my new baby <3

base set up: antergos/gnome
Additions: i3 gaps/polybar , getting deepin to play with, mpd+ncmpcpp, gonna get cava.

Don't know all of the specs yet,
16 GB ddr3 mem (??rpm)
256gb SSD
1TB HDD
Asus

also worth mentioning that gnome plays well with toutchscreen 😎

this puppy is gonna serve me well

XIAOMI vs APPLE..?

XIAOMI providing almost 90% of the specs of APPLE for half price, shouldn't we go for XIAOMI instead of APPLE....?

Desks seem to be a thing, currently. This is my desk. There are many like it, but this is mine.

The setup is a little dated, but I love it, and when remote working, I've to use the company laptop anyway.

Specs:
Intel Xeon 4x3.3GHz
16gb DDR3
geforce gtx 680
SAMSUNG evo SSD+some HDDs
3 dell ips displays with display port
And my beloved g15 & g700

Fifteen minutes of coding
Fifteen minutes of specs

Five minutes of debugging
Two minutes of specs (just failures)

Thirty seconds of tweaking
Two minutes of specs

Ten seconds of tweaking
Two minutes of specs

Realize I made a typo due to RubyMine input lag
Two minutes of specs

Ten seconds of fixing and tweaking
Two minutes of specs

And so it goes.
All. day. long.

Sometimes it repeats.
That’s sort of nice.

Is it any wonder I can’t focus?

When the specs doc was poorly written and u almost turn into a donkey

What a shitty day.

3h sleep
Lead very pissed bcuz backend don't know specs
Boring meeting where everything is repeated like 6 times
In a few hours boss wants to talk with the whole team

My co-workers jokingly say they want to fire me.
I should be the "hero that will make things better"

Please just kill me instead...

Edit: started working there 3 weeks ago

trying to get steam to work on arch with nvidia
pray for me
if you have tips let me hear em :`)

specs (my asus baby)
· Core i7
· 16G ddr3 RAM
· GeForce 745m
+ 256G ssd & 1T hdd
+ 1920x1080 display (unknown refresh rate)

Recently i had a small talk with someone working in the banking sector . When that person acknowledged what i do for a living , she started to be a little bit passive-agressive .
Her:"You know someday , sooner than later , a guy like you is going to create something like artificial intelligence to replace all the devs in the world . Ha ha ha ! And your golden age is going to end . "
Me:"So you think this guy is going to create a smart program , software or platform , that will create software from what ? "
Her:" We will write the specs directly in the program and we will get the software after !"
Me:"And what if the specs are impossible, from logical point of view. "
Her:" Well there will be some rules and you will need to respect them !"
Me: "And people need to learn the logic of these rules?"
Her: " Yes a little bit of training!"
Me:" We already have that !"
Her: " We have ?! "
Me: " Is called .... CODING !"
Her: **silence **
(I remembered the burn from a comic -- forgot the name-- but GOD it felt good !)
Why some people hate us ?

You know what I don't like?
Getting dropped into an ongoing project, especially as a replacement for somebody else - looking through the code and realising the code is perfectly fine - except I would do it differently.
Yes, I see why those choices were made. It's up to specs and according to the convention - but it still _feels_ wrong.

my cousin wants to buy a new phone and asked for advice. (with advice I mean saying what he wants and hoping I agree)

*talks about lumia 930.
me: you won't be able to use these apps x,y,z......
him: why not it has better specs than mine. bla bla.... you will see.
week later
him: phone doesn't have Play Store installed. can you do it?

!rant

So I finally bought a laptop! Dell Inspiron 3580, specs:

15.6" screen
Intel i5 8265
8GB RAM expanded to 16 manually
256GB NVMe PCIe M.2 ssd as system drive (ofc)
Added Crucial 1TB SATA ssd for good measure

Fucked up the stock Ubuntu 18.04 with libinput-gestures I think, reinstalled Ubuntu 18.10, got Steam, bought Half Life bundle, installing it right now.

Also VSCode, CodeBlocks, IntelliJ and PyCharm are on this beast and I'm ready to rock.

So happy!

Just a thought.

If your project has good coverage with tests, it should be possible to develop an algorithm that recreates your production code entirely from tests.

Just look at IntelliJ - its autosuggestions on missing properties/methods are 99% times correct - I only need to hit that ENTER button. Add some AI to recreate some algorithms and there you go - you can use your tests as both: code specs and a part of QA.

Any takers for the next AI project? :)

Boss: why have you not released anything this quarter?? Your team is lacking progress

Me thinking: well if our specs didn’t change near the end of our sprints about the UI being hard to understand we’d have a release ready now wouldn’t we? Fucking idiot. It’s not our fault people didn’t think about the specs properly

Was working on a client's project. He had given clear specs. Work went delightful with less or no hacks. Then I get asked to add a extra feature which I had little thought about. Now I think it's a small hack and can be done. But here I am. One hack leading to another. I am too deep into ugly hacks. Maybe I should stop software development and join postal service to sort letters. I feel so incompetent.

Client: "documentation, oh you mean those grey texts the previous code guy wrote on the code files"

Me: I kinda need more than "grey texts on the code files" if you want me to actually fix the system and implement the new specs.

Client: oh you mean the Microsoft asp books

Me: It's a Laravel system sir, it's php not asp.net

Client: what are those?

Me:.................

Sales was about to close what I thought was supposed to be a basic WordPress project with a pretty steep delivery time (two weeks). I thought to myself: "well, ok. It's going to be rough for us to fit it into our existing schedule, but I guess the budget (unusually high) compensates." After I say OK, I find out that they were actually about to sign a FE application that takes data from various document management applications. I lost my shit. I hope there's a special place in hell for sales reps that don't get the specs before accepting projects.

Web development is the worst!
I still cannot understand why it is not possible for browsers to correctly support all official specs... Exceptions here and there, dirty fix for this one, add a little margin here, hide this...
The daily struggle never stops.
Don't even get me startet with PHP!
Next round is on me ;)

!Rant

The Eve V is a Community Developed Windows Tablet which will be released in Ocotober this year.

The best specs you can get is i7 6th Gen, 16 GB Ram and 500 GB SSD for around 1400$.

He wants 32 GB RAM in such a slim and small Tablet. Also wants a 7th Gen Intel CPU and 1 TB SSD in it. He's ready to pay 1000 $ more for his special edition.

The Eve V is already finished with tooling and they are wating for the screens to arrive. They already have all the other parts.

Dude you're crazy and that specs just for VM's? What are you running? 10x WinShitBox?

He's insulting everyone on the forum with a different opinion and says, retooling will be such easy.

That guy is a real douchebag and doesn't know shit. If you would build in different parts like this, you would need to remodel the whole tablet. You can stick your 1000$ in your ass, retooling would cost more than 10'000$

If it's so easy you shithead, then do it yourself and dont say it's possible and say to other people they should do! 😂😂

Project Manager: I want you to work faster and make the performance faster. No excuses

Specs: potato pc

*get task assigned to me*

*complete task*

*get new task changing everything I did in the previous task*

Me: "Why is this getting completely changed? It meets the specs you sent."

PM: "Well, they took a while to approve the concept so I assumed it would be the same as the one on their current site. But now they want something different. Just change it."

ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME. WHAT IN THE ACTUAL FUCK IS THE POINT OF SENDING FOR APPROVAL IF YOU ARE NOT GOING TO WAIT FOR THE APPROVAL?!

You are a developer and you will only log time you're actually working. This means you will not be logging time spent in meetings, chasing for specs, requirement clarifications and similar. You must log 8 hours each day.

^^-- wtf?!? Is anyone else working in similar conditions?

It’s late, and stupid RSpec has decided to only mock calls to a particular method in some specs but not in others.

`allow(object).to receive(:method).with(resource_arg).and_return(“some\ntext”)`

Works in a few specs, but not the rest. Why? Who the fuck knows. Probably some shared state between specs that isn’t supposed to happen.

HAHA JUST KIDDING

After refactoring my specs to use unique ‘resource’ names for each call because I’ve had shared state issues before.

and after refactoring my model code to remove a lot of now-unused dependency injection (because maybe it was mocking a different object than got passed in?)

Guess what?
When creating my mock objects, I forgot to link them together. That’s it. A 14-character change. And suddenly they all pass.

Asdjklfajg.
Time for bed.

CORS. How the fuck could it be so hard to get right?

Context: Madre recently got a new laptop to replace her old HP, but since she doesn't know much about computers, I picked it out for her. I went a little overboard on the specs because I new it was a "family laptop" and I would end up using it more than she would.

Mum: *yelps after typing on computer*
Me: "What's wrong"
Mum: "This computer is too fast!"
Me: 😐
Me: ... "What?"
Mum: "It loads things too fast"
Me: "What do you mean?"
Mum: "When I click on the apps they open almost immediately"
Me: "That's a good thing"
Mum: "No it's not, it startled me!"
Me: ...
Me: ...
Me: ...
*goes back to reading book*

Management wants me to continue building an internal-use dashboard.
and you've guessed it, all functionality to be added will be discussed on-the-fly (so specs keep changing all the time...)...
So now I'm on a strike for this project until I get clear specs

totally !dev

I just saw my team mate clean his glasses with that micro fiber cloth that they give along with the specs. He just like, opened his bag, picked up his specs box, took that itsy bitsy piece of clothing and wiped his glasses!!!!!

My heart stopped for a bit :-/

Who the hell does that. Sheeesh.

Damn, this delicate 15.6" piece of plastic I call my laptop is the reason I have to tolerate stupid curious college-mates. Whenever I open it, everyone is like woah dude, you are a coder! does it have porn ? or games ?

yeah mann fuck you . its 2018 , I don't play pc games and I can watch porn online . can you fucktards just leave me alone and let me work ?

Why don't we have cheap laptops with good specs but smaller screens? like 7" or 9"

fucking CSE college pervs acting like babies :/

Spent 12 hours getting deep into a heavy new feature for a client based on Google Drive integration.

Find out at the code review the next day that the specs i was given were totally wrong and all Google Drive integration is being dropped.

Hello fellow coders can you help me here plz.

I'm really confused whether to buy MACBOOK PRO 13 INCH or SURFACE PRO 4. Both of i5/8gbRam/256ssd specs. Price almost same in India.

My main use is programming ( web apps/ open source) + portability.

Factors I like in macbook pro:
1) unix based
2) best service here in India ( heard from answers on Quora )
3) DURABILITY ( heard from answers on Quora ) ( will last for many years without any glitch).

Factors I like in Surface pro 4:
1) its ultraportability
2) pen & touch
3) better typing experience ( since I code/blog for long hours)
4) native bash support
5) sexier than MBP :P

I really like SP4 over MBP but I'm worried about its durability and service(in India).

What are your thoughts on this guyz?

I want to light this project on fire and walk away. Nothing is making any bloody sense.

According to specs, It’s updating a google wallet object via api, but isn’t generating the data to send along, despite every possible code path hitting that first. It also apparently isn’t calling any of the methods along the way. Obviously this is false, but that’s what the specs are reporting.

It’s also updating the object when nothing has changed. That might be, but shouldn’t, because I can see it calling the `should_update?` method which returns false, and it nopes out after that. so wth.

I’m so ready to never see this craziness ever again.

wtb kerosene or Greek fire pot, good price, pst. open to trade

What kind of specs should i look for when I want to buy a laptop on which I will run Linux only?
I primarily wanna use it for coding, so running docker and an IDE shouldn't cause performance problems. I am not very versed in hardware, so any input is appreciated!

Oops, looks like "Benedict Cumberbatch" just broke your unrealistic design specs and spotlights your non-inclusive cognitive bias, designer. Maybe stop using "John Smith" as mock design data for users' names and design things for real people.

Developers should not be paying down your design debts. Fix this!

Sincerely, the UI developer doing your job

Just did something hackerman-ish! 😎
Since a lot of new iPhones are out after the XR, Apple "removed" the page for iPhone XR and redirect to the /specs page. I tried adding /index.html to the url and tada! :D hahah "I'm in!"

Any other ways I could've gotten to this page? I was going to try the sitemap and the web archive.

Worst Hackathon experience:
Taking an API built by a junior dev team with minimal specs and "hacking for two pointless days" to make it work in production...

The whole Hackathon idea was an experiment to see if they could make the dev team stay late if they bought pizza and said "have fun".

We all spent 2 days cursing at the shoddy tools and lamenting that you can't run a Hackathon with a single directive and "production ready goal" yet remove any choice the developers have to actually contribute.

I'm soon going to be crossing the path into the world of Linux with my first install.

So here's my device specs:
Toshiba Satellite L755-S5256
RAM: 4GB
CPU: i3-2310 (2.1ghz)

I use the device to stream movies and TV onto my TV (through HDMI cord) since the TV can't connect to the internet.

Any suggestions for a simple and light weight distro I could use? Thanks everyone in advance!

"How about the specs on the new macbook pro they just announced!" - said no one since 2013

So we work on a Vmware network. And besides the terrible network lag. The specs of that VM is one core (Possibly one thread of a xeon core) and 3 GB RAM.

What do we do on it?
Develop heavy ass java GUI applications on eclipse. It lags in every fucking task. Can't even use latest versions of browsers because the VM is a fucking snail ass piece of shit!

So, in the team meeting I proposed to my manager, Hey our productivity is down because of this POS VM. Please raise the specs!.

He said mere words won't help. He needs proof.

Oh, you need proof ? Sure. I coded up a script that all of my team ran for a week. That generates a CSV with CPU usage, mem left, time - every 10 min. I use this data to show some motherfucking Graphs because apparently all they understand is graphs and shit.

So there you go. Have your proof! Now give me the specs I need to fucking work!

Well, I just wasted £250. I needed a Mac to build iOS apps so I got the newest Mac Mini with lowest specs (I’m still a student). I thought that 4GB would be enough as my laptop runs fine with 4 but NOPE.

ITS SUPER SLOW, XCode takes >10 minutes to even launch and RAM is always at max, I even had to get the Mac Mini without upgradable ram.

I worked all summer just to get a Mac which is sluggish, :/.

I'm ashamed to say this is my laptop's specs

Ok guys, since what Im using is a laptop with some low specs since Im too broke to even afford a new FM2+ motherboard to repair my desktop pc and have a little more raw power to use and make more fancy stuff, I wish to know if anyone here legit is interested in some Original content images that Im thinking in make just out of spite in the Zerg Rush of users spaming about F. Quantum and if its worth my already highly limited time just to get hopefully more ++ than my last AMD OC that pretty much noone cared about

every new smartphone these days seems to be like one of those scify movie aliens with weird eyes (dual camera lenses) .
I mean, pixel phones clearly shows that having a top-notch software for single camera is already at par with dual cam setups .

And yet huawei is slaying them all .
New huawei flagship phone : awesome specs , ai beautify , blah blah lens , blah blah block chain 16 mp AND "2MP " dual camera setup .

they are like yeah surely we give them dual cameras, but why bother because no one will read after the word "DUAL"

xD

How come a Mac Mini with 4GB of RAM is MUCH MUCH faster than an iMac with 8GB of RAM!
When the rest of the specs are identical ...

Soo... What's with the HTTP:GET payload? Rfc allows it but libraries implemebting it - don't. Anyone knows why are libs not following specs?

are there some graphic designers here? 😎
Do you code?
Did you learn some stuff here on devRant? What did you learn?
What do you design mostly?
How do you deal with programmers who don't obey your design specs because they're lazzy fucks? muhaha 😆
how do you think this profession will evolve in the next 10 years?

and you devs, what do you think of us? what are your experiences with designers? good and bad ones?

My boss: Write unit tests for this angular app
Also my boss: what do you mean it will take months to write the necessary mocks for our 177 specs
Also also my boss: why would you need to mock anything for a unit test
Also also also my boss: Just let each component import all the other real components, nevermind that that's an integration test and not a unit test

More adventures in fixing specs.

This particular failing spec is in an included spec helper; I cannot run the spec itself because rubymine is stupid and doesn't know how. Not kidding. I also don't know the codepath it's actually testing because it's fucking convoluted, so I need (rather: want) a debugger to progress. I put breakpoints everywhere I thought it could be, and... nothing.

The stacktrace shows the calling spec in the helper module, a generic `process` method that just calls `super` (from where? who knows!), and a `wrap_every_action` in the ApplicationController. in other words: absolutely nothing helpful. I stepped through the code for most of an hour and didn't get anywhere; just saw lots of rails internals.

ugh,

I'm going to keep bashing my head against this, but what the fuck, why can't you give me something goddamn useful!?

Generally devs who are too arrogant to accept help or constructive criticism. There’s this data visualisation library that missed a specific feature that psychologists use quite frequently, so I added it myself and opened a PR. The maintainer closed it because people should use whatever he’d already implemented. It’s like not giving someone the option to listen to disco because rock music is better. Yeah, cool story bro. Now all my visualisation projects depend on my fork instead. Same with the now abandoned Material Design Library devs. They didn’t have a drop down with free input, so I opened a PR with my solution. Closed as it was out of scope, simply because Google didn’t specifically include that in the Material specs, only an input and a drop down separately which my solution matched. I also opened a PR for an obviously missing feature (being able to validate forms via JS), closed as this behaviour wasn’t in the Material specs either. No wonder MDL died before it was ever finished.

What do you use to develop?

If laptop which one + specs?
If desktop specs + favorite accessories?

What type of development?
Editor?

Getting really tired of not having requirements or specs detailed out at beginning of project.

I have to decide myself what might be use case while developing

Then 3 months later when it finally gets used I get management asking me why doesn't it do this or that? Uhhh.... You never told me to make it do anything so be happy it does something.

FUUUUUCCCKKKK!!! I WASTED 2 WEEKS ON A PROJECT BECAUSE I COULDN'T GET THE RIGHT SPECS UNTIL THIS MORNING.......

I SPENT THE LAST 2 WEEKS BUILDING AND TRYING TO GET THINGS TO WORK THAT I DON'T NEED....

Does anyone else think that phone manufacturers are scamming us with higher specs like 6Gigs of RAM and 16 MP Camera..? Most of us dont even use those 3 GB .. let alone 6..

I like helping out on weird little projects that keep my brain fed. One of our IT guys needs a little form that can auto inject some info from a small data store (Google sheets). There's a few caveats within his specs. All can be done with some js relatively easily.

But because I said it can be done he thinks it'll take 10mins and now suddenly he's putting pressure on me to do it, despite me also having an actual job to do! So frustrating!

I want to play GTA V on full specs - but computer doesn't have enough juice. Anyone knows the name of the website from where I can download an i7 processor, 5TB of Memory, and 16GB RAM. I have already tried SourceForge. Please post the link below, if you happen to know one.

Why the fuck do i need to propose try-catch to an contractor, so he can fix his application, because its crashing if the input is non-conform to the specs?
Oh and before you ask. The application is a application that processes and sanitizes invoices.

Friend : Bro, give me the game you were playing yesterday.

( Witcher 3)

Me : OK, tell me your system specs.
He: 1 TB hard drive and 8 GB ram.

Me : GPU?
He : 2 GB Nvidia.
Me: Model?

He: Don't know something like 740m ( M you heard that right)

Me : Won't work. GPU is not powerful enough.
He: You don't know anything, it will work. You also play on same GPU with 2 GB.

Me: -.- ( I had gtx 770)

1 - I wish clients would make better specs
2 - I wish I was better at asking for specs
3 - I wish I was better at sticking to the specs

I hate dependencies... I'm stuck on a project because I need to wait for some one else to provide specs and access to their API.... And well I was also given a deadline...

Had harsh words to a recruitment agency a few days ago who have been emailing me completely irrelevant job specs for weeks. (Side note, I don't know these people or how I ended up on the list in the first place, i'm not looking).

Got an apology this morning from one of the agents, their manager also just sent me a mail to apologise, as she can see from the records i've received a lot of crap ... but she also took a moment to let me know she does have a role that might actually suit my skill set.

Are you fucking kidding me?

"Why doesn't anyone reply to my emails" - because you are the devil and can't be trusted.

"... and these are all the software specs. But we have no budget"

It feels like I've been writing this document for months

"Specs are out of date at time of writing. Basic premise of how this works: {link}"

and link goes to a 404

Best? Clojure docs. They have disqus-like thing under every function description where anyone can submit their usage example. One example times forty submissions equals forty examples!

Also w3c specs, nuff said.

Worst? GunJS. Multiple websites that look like each other plus GitHub wiki all with the same content but idk which one should I use, also there is no complete source, you have to look up everywhere. Also NextJS, they’re too busy pitching to investors, there is no way of contacting them, you’re in your own if you choose nextjs, that’s why I banned it everywhere I have the power to ban things

It's fucking sad that when you buy a new laptop with good specs, good nvidia graphics, good sound and install Arch Linux because you hate fucking windows and arch way is the right way. But, then Linux fucks you because there is no proper nvidia support and you have to use wine which doesn't support new games and you run frequently into problems like audio (P.s. maybe in linux 4.10.11). You have to configure microphone everytime while using Skype and see some other guy having same laptop playing happily latest games without much burden.😣😣😥😥😔😔

When will Linux kernel be amazing for gaming??

Fuck this shit!

I got told off that i went home early yesterday by my manager.

This is how it went.

I made some inquiries to other team regarding specs and their service nearing the end of working hours.

I waited 30 minutes more after working hours because I see them online through internal messenger.

I said to myself 'how long do I have to wait?' I guess I can read their message tomorrow then.

I arrived this morning. Got told off during morning huddle. I checked the messages, they replied 1hr after I left. Do I have to stay and do nothing just to wait for their reply?

Fuck!

... I really truly hate with a passion..
when you've agreed on one solution and when it's done, but not approved and deployed..

suddenly decides "oh it needs, x-y-z that I said it won't need"..

Mind you, that x-y-z things mean rewriting a lot of it...

Oh well, at least I get paid for the extra hours to be spent.

Noo, it doesn't have to be responsive, that's not in the specs we agreed on. It just has to look&work perfe<khmm> decent on any phone and tablet.
- sneaky client

!rant

just a poll i'm looking for from all the linux based dev's

What distro would you recommend for a front end dev? Tried ubuntu but the wifi driver wasnt supported I guess in my dev machine. Currently looking at Elementary OS, but still undecided. I would primarily like it to be Debian based or something close as I'm very familiar with apt-get debain based stuff, and dont really feel like learning an entirely new distro at them moment.

Thanks all :D

PS. I have a Lenovo Ideapad 110
Specs include quad-core AMD A-8, 8gb ram, 1TB HDD, can give more if necessary

I'm trapped in a sea of one line work requests. How fucking difficult is it to actually write down your requirements. If you can't be arsed, even after I have asked for clarifications several times, don't act all upset when what I implement doesn't match your expectations.

Ordered a slightly watered down version of my planned PC. Let's wait for Cyber Monday for buyer's remorse!

Either way, paid half price of the planned rig for 80% of the same performance.

See attached specs. Already have a hard drive and PSU, and for now will be reusing my GTS 250.

The new devRant avatar feature is so cool and there are so many ideas for customization being posted. Maybe at some point our dev community can build and submit custom devRant avatar objects according to devRant specs. I might even try to build a Bernoulli box 😀
Thoughts?

I only want a phone I can put in my pocket and a laptop I can carry around in my bag. Slimmer than that and it's just unnecessary. I prefer my devices durable and packing some nice specs. Also headphone jacks are a plus 😆

Revenge of the developer.
After our project consultants aren't good at planning projects I started my revenge. They will get soon a heart attack or paranoia...
Every time I need something from them (cause they missed it in the specs) and see them at the end of the floor. I stealth in their room and stand behind their door. When they are sitting, the door is closing mystically and I step to them. The faces are hilarious. That's my way to teach them to write better Specs :)

No I don't know the specs for the project, why I hear you ask? Because instead of a bloody quote and planning this project was planned in a fucking email chain...

This appears to be a service designed for idiots. $89 a month for ho-hum specs. What strikes me more though is that with CentOS selected, it still gives me MSSQL options. Learn to js, n00bs!

Damn specs! Why do you have to change as the project goes on?!! Every project seems too easy at first.

Holy fuck AMD really have made a comeback... NVIDIA is admitting they lost (how I interpret this, no flame) and then we have Intel literally running their already fragmented CPU range into a ditch of mismatched specs and just brute forcing higher cord counts on an almost out of date manufacturing process...

And now AMD is also releasing new mobile chipsets with integrated Vega graphics (on the zen based chips) that are already outperforming the closest Intel competitor on thermal and raw performance...

What the fuck!!!

AMD might actually become Intel and NVIDIA rolled into one the way they are going in my eyes...

i bought a new laptopand i can't fucking install ubuntu on it

and my supervisor asked me to show him ubuntu running on this laptop

before anyone points out that i m a noob
I have already installed ubuntu, arch mint on my pc

here are the specs:
amd a9
radeon gpu
8gb rma

lenovo model 320 ideapad

ubuntu 18.04, 16.04 17.04

and the ubuntu fucking hangs as soon as i get to the gui screen

found something with nomodeset, going to use that

I can't install arch cause I need to show ubuntu running on this laptop to him

Me: *randomly streaming myself code just because*
Friend: "So what are you doing"
Me: "I'm trying to parse a file. The specs are here - oh"
Friend: "Oh?"
Me: "I set screenshare to vs code only, so you can't see it"
Friend: "It's alright, just pass me the link"
Me: "Well, this is vs code, so I might as well check if it can display websites"
Friend: "No way you'd need that,"
>browser
* simple browser
Friend: "Please no"
"Enter url here"
Friend: "Stop!"
*loads website*
Friend: *dies of bloat*
Me: "All hail the bloat"
Friend in heaven: "Stop, your bloat will drag me down to hell"

So yeah, bloat can be useful sometimes

Am I the only one who actually enjoys writing technical specifications?

Anyone here use the Surface Pro 6?
How it it like? (I am planning to buy one)

Specs I want... i5 / 8gb / 256gb

(And is the Type cover worth it?)

"Could you send me the project specifications and requirements?"

*sends 3 edited screenshots*

Past week our Neural Network professor told us after the lecture that the colllege is taking steps for investing in Nvidia Digits DevBox. At first i didnt knw what it is. I googled it and came to knw that it is a fucking beast! Those specs man!!!
Its nice to see that your institute is taking steps to bring latest technology for students.

When do you see/perceive-that a Dev transit from junior to senior?

I'm an undergrad, working, by now, for 9 months in companies meanwhile studying, I have found that I didn't really had any difficult time dealing with the requirements/specs in the working environment, I always found myself being able to adapt to the problem and deal with it, and by this way of doing I can hardly see myself as a junior. What do you think about? (Excuse me for any mistake, I'm drink)

!rant

VR devs or GPU DB devs

What is your dev hardware?

I'm covering for a colleague who has 2 weeks of vacation. Everything is made with Drupal 7, and it's a backend + frontend chimera with no head and 50 anuses.

So, last monday i get told i have to show a value based on the formula:
value * (rate1 - rate2) / 2

On thursday, every calculation in that page is suddenly wrong and I get balmed for it. Turns out, now it has to be:
value * (rate1 - rate2) / rate1 / 2

Today, I get told again the calculations are wrong. "It has to be wrong, the amount changes when rate1 changes!". There'll be a meeting later today to discuss such behaviour.

All these communications happened via e-mail, so I'm quite sure it's not my fault... But, SERIOUSLY! Do they think programmers' time is worthless? Now I'll have to waste at least 1 hour in a useless meeting because they cba to THINK before giving out specs?!

Goddammit. Nice monday.

"Agile" customers who insist on signed off specs, fixed price and 150% of the original scope

I built my first web server literally from scratch (standard socket lib) today! In Python <3.
It is able to execute php and get the stdout to use it in the Python script afterwards and make use of parallel connections.

Now to the real rant...
I am using HTTP/1.1. I want to use h2 (aka HTTP/2) tho. I am stuck on this. Found the papers to the specs of the h2 and spdy protocols, but they are not really helpful.

Is anyone good in this field? Please let me know :/

Working on migrating my stuff from DigitalOcean to Contabo. Did a little test drive over the weekend and was very happy with the service. Most of all, I was very happy with the price: paying around a 4th of what I paid to DO to get the same specs ^^

!rant
Anyone develop in virtual environment here?

How was your experience?

Mine has been pretty horrendous.
Specs of vm - one core at 2.6ghz and 3Gb ram on win7

Hey everyone!
I am looking for a decent VPS provider with adequete privacy settings, but most importantly, u guys like and is cheap.
I looked at hetzner (but it rejected my id proof for some reason) and contabo (but it has a one time setup fee which i am reluctant to pay, but will pay if there r no other options).
I'll probably go with the cheapest plan depending on specs.
Budget is $5 😅

thanks ❤️❤️

I have a VPS for years by a local provider (the Netherlands). Just came to the conclusion that Digital Ocean have the exact same VPS (specs) for half the money. :'(

fuuuuuu

Don't you just love it when a client turns around at this time of year and tells you that there is a new project and it's due by the middle of January!

And then they tell you the specs... Wait... What? How? Ummm... So you want a test app that is basically a fully working product that would take months to build ready in 15-20 days.

I'd rather drag my balls along sandpaper and dip them in vinegar...

Linux Mint MATE, Lubuntu or something else for this old PC?

Specs:
AMD Athlon 64 X2 5000+
2 GB RAM
Nvidia Quadro FX 1800

christmas wishlist????? dont give me some of those cute crap, what i really need:
- my other breadboard
- 2TB HDD!!! pls i need to degoogle my life
- wirerap cables
- a new laptop with gr8 specs, good for both programming and gaming pls
- a big whiteboard for my overflowing ideas

id rather have something useful than the usual stuff people give as gifts xd

Three hour meeting attempting to explain that the specs I received weren't clear, and that the calcs I was given weren't consistent with the rest of the reports we built.

End result: BA said he was right. I coded to spec. Told me finished report was all wrong and I had to redo it.

Load tests:

I'm used to do load tests in Visual Studio where it gives which line is exactly your bottleneck. But now I'm using VS Code (visual studio requires enterprise license for load tests :\ no longer have one)

Anyways long story short, what are the best practices for load tests? For me what I'm testing is how much can a given hardware specs handle and when test fails I go back and check if code can be optimized, is this the correct way to do this?

Hi guys i need some help my visual studio professional 2017 with xamarin is running slow in my laptop

Specs
I7 4th gen
8gb ram
Gtx 850m 4gb
1tb hdd

And can you refer an IDE like ms VS

Fr-Agile

Francium Agile Methodology is characterized by lack of proper planning, and constant interruption during the development process as specs are pulled out of product owners asses ad nauseam. Fr-Agile methodology is known to result in an extremely radioactive team environment.

the look and chat project managers give right before they tell you the specs changed.

pm: heyyy
dev: what is it?
pm: how are you?
dev :{realising the spec changed}

I am lying down on the floor because I cannot figure out why this specs pass locally but repeatedly fail on the ci/cd pipeline. Literally done everything now I just want to lie here and sleep.

backend-dev : *takes time to config the menu module to specs*
"it works but the front-end guy justs needs to fix 1 or 2 css details"

boss - "nah i'll just buy an other module"

I've been given a huge stack of paper, some users stories and loose specs. Was tasked with engineering the specific requirements, then the models and finally the database. Then I need to build an API on top of that.
Stuff I'll use is Go and Postgresql. Small issue is, I've never done DBs, so I've no idea what to do or where to start.

Does anyone have any resources to help kick-start myself in this field? I've been reading on SQL, but that doesn't really tell me anything about data structures and how to transform those user stories into product requirements.