It's never a good sign when a team lead writes code like this

I was told during my initial interview that the book "Clean Code" is their Bible here.

And it's true. It's lying, unread in drawers and shelves all over the office.

A conversation with our network/system admin.

Me : Can I install linux on my computer, windows is slow and terrible.

Him : No, if you use anything but Windows in this company, you will be fired for bypassing our security protocols. Its written in your contract.

Me : *boots up my Macbook*

Best part of being a (freelance) dev : working from home, being able to see my newborn son slowly growing up. Not easy to run after clients days after days, but I don't regret the silly project managers, the dumbasses from the marketing, and, gosh, I don't miss the CTOs. :)

How to tell a programmer from a fraud:

1. Wait for some idiot to crank up the brightness of the dimmable ceiling lights at the office to the max with the motivation "the difference in brightness between the screen and surroundings is damaging your eyes"
2. You found him/her

I'm going to find who put this here.

And he'll be having a long fucking talk with QA.

True story.

I was going to an interview and they kept me waiting for more than 1 hour without a notice. When the interviewer came, she didn't even apologize and gave me a form to fill out. I left the building and didn't come back. Did I did wrong? What would you do?

With time, I have come to the realisation that when a person says he knows C++. He's either a noob or god!

UDP vs TCP

- PM : we have no choice but to finish this before deadline.
- Me : We can't, it's a really big feature.
- PM : But we have no choice.
- Me : But we can't.
...

*What is she waiting for*

Coworker pushed some changes and gave me good reason to rant.
Here's my story:
I start implementing a new feature, senior reviews it and suggest some changes, which are actually good ideas. I continue developing and implement the suggested changes.
The next day, senior keeps working on outdated source and makes similar changes like i did on the day before. Just pushes it anyway and breaks fucking everything.
The api now contains redundant information.
My classes still exist, but aren't used anymore. Let's keep some redundant code in the project, because deleting it is so much work.
All the unit tests broke, but he just commented them out, so everything is green again. We have now 0 tests which actually do something in the project, but at least the build is green...

I like how devs keep on shitposting Windows rants, but never switch to Linux.

Windows will never get better, you have to give it up :)

"Apple, it just works"
People, we might have misinterpreted the "just"!
"Apple, it only works [the way Apple meant for it to work]"

Anybody have a pet that specializes in pair programming?

Me: I need a Windows PC to test my code on.
Server dude: We don't have any free, but I can setup an old server for you.
Me: 🤔 .. I'll take it!

What's on your bookshelf? Some of these are pretty old, but still relevant.

Girlfriend created a github account today, I'm so proud!

Apparently "Want to meet my rubber duck?" is an acceptable phrase only in the developer community.

I've had this idea for some time now. How about a website that gathers some of the most well written open-source code and allows you to easily read it for educational purposes? Everyone says that reading source code can be a great learning tool but directly jumping into github is not very friendly to newcomers. I saw what underscore.js has done with the annotated code link and I think it's great. What do you think?

GitHub desktop is available for Mac and Windows and not for Linux. I feel this is so wrong after their entire shit is build around open source.

https://help.github.com/desktop/...

#geekswillbegeeks

Today I nearly killed my new boss, he picked the really wrong day to accuse me of something I did'nt do and could prove... You wouldn't like me when I'm angry cause I back up my arguments and would willingly quit gladly for a better job.

this is funny 😂

Programmers of today are like the monks of the middle ages. We use a language that people don't understand, we spend all our time sitting in a room reading, and people constantly ask us for advice but never really listens to the answer.

That feeling you get when you realize that switching to a pure tiling window manager is the best thing you've done in your life since switching to boxers.

When a client refuses to pay you because they don't like the color of their logo.

I was hired to build a website.

The struggle is real.

So today was shite. I get done with classes for today after going to work in the morning( college student) and I get a phone call. SURPRISE! We have a client meeting in twenty minutes.

My class runs from 5-9 and the meeting was scheduled at 7:30. I was let out early thank god. Then made sure that we had deliverables for the project running and ready to go.

Meeting with the client went well and he was pleased with my progress.

Now I have been the only one developing any sort of deliverable for this website. It originally started out with three people. The main developer will call him Cunt and a front-end dev that isn't on the project anymore.

FUCKING CUNT DECIDED TO COME AT ME FOR SAYING THAT THERE WAS A MISCOMMUNICATION ERROR AND ONE OF THE TASKS WASNT FINISHED. THEN CUNT ASKED IF I HAD ALL OF THE FRONT DEVS PAGES TO WHICH I SIGHED YES. CUNT FUCKFACE PROCEEDED TO EDUCATE ME ON HOW TO TALK TO OTHER DEVS AND NOT MAKE CRITICIZE HER CODE. UM CUNT YOU HAVENT COMMUNICATED WITH HER FOR THE THREE MONTHS IVE BEEN ON THIS PROJECT. AND YOUVE CONSTANTLY AVOIDED BEING IN THE OFFICE WHEN ANYONE IS PRESENT AND EVEN SHOOED HER AWAY. THE FACT THAT CUNT ISNT FIRED IS BECAUSE I TOOK LEAD ON HIS PROJECT AND HAVE MAKING EVERY DEADLINE FOR THIS AND OTHER PROJECTS.

*breaths*

Moral of this. Don't be a CUNT!

What we think working with REST looks like but... 😁