Final day on this project, tonight I'll get drunk to forget about the backlog since client didn't hire me longer ( consultant).

I hate leaving unfinished code.

Monday I start my next project, which is refactoring. .Net code to .net core.

Here is to hoping it doesn't rely too much on unsupported 3rd party libraries.

Cheers fellow devs, have a good weekend.

Today I got more praise for adding a spinning animation while loading page than the 5 months of complex coding I've done so far.

Users are simple, look shiny, ignore that nothing works.

I'm lead frontend developer/ consultant on a big government project, it's 10 days to release and I couldn't make it to a dinner with girlfriends extended family.

Pretty sure I just got dumped as she doesn't want to be in the way for my work so she is packing her stuff and leaving my apartment tonight.

relationshipsFailedDueToWork++

For 10 years I've been a back end developer. Now I'm going full stack with react and angular4 front end development in my new job.

Unused to the new dev ui I just spent 3 hours debugging a redux state issue when I realize I used uppercase in the name of the value.....

N00b front-ender.

Today my oldest son is 8 years old and with pizza and cake we discussed how to hack his friends tablet, star Wars vs star trek and how to hijack wifi networks when friends parents won't give password.
And he told me how to evade detection and bypass the schools filters that he figured out alone.
I feel so damn proud.

With 3 weeks until deadline, been working massive overtime and under massive pressure.
My body just gave up finally, for 5 days I've been unable to get up at all.

Fighting against management is my daily struggle.
I reject the notion that more management, meetings and reports makes me work faster.
Want it done in time?
Stop wasting my time and interrupting me when I'm deep in complex thought. Let me do what's necessary and put in the hours if I have the energy and time.
But you damn better pay me for it.
I do not care for your praise, when I make the impossible happen time and again in days that would take months.
I expect your praise in the form of higher numbers going into my account.

Commodore 64 and manuals when I was 5. Then qbasic on a 286 my dad got from work when I was 6. Been programming since, to Borland c/c++, php, html etc. Worked with most languages since.

!rant after over 2 years of fighting, I'm finally rid of my cheating-ex in finances today.
My House and life is finally my own again.

Added new hidden function in my service: If you don't reply with "thanks" after I send you requested data, I will not reply to your requests for 15 minutes.
Clients really need to learn some manners and I'm here to help.

Teaching coworkers performance tuning, we have the memory enough that you don't need to write to disk... Really the data isn't Even a MB....

It's 8 am, just got Home from christmas table/gathering sober with an open bar for the nth time.
Wow us in support functions always get way shafted in recogniton, we made your ideas work and worked late to make it happen and you get the prize and money for coming up with the same idea I've seen 100 times already implemented before?

Fixed a project for a collegue.
Him: How did you fix things, what's the process?
Me: Click stuff and press Buttons randomly until it works.
Him: ... That's all you did?
Me: Yup, the rest is just experience.

Told department lead several of us devs are considering quitting due to low wage and insane workload.
Result: Team spirit questionaires and team building gathering.
No extra pay and now even less time to get work done.

I just met real life Wally from Dilbert.
Semi retired, works a few hours a week with excellent pay because he is the only one who understands the legacy mainframe.
Learning from his example we now plan to obfuscate all code before check-in. Only readable code version will be on our encrypted personal drives.

PM used his wife's data in testing against legacy data.
Discovered she had different social number before they met.
Apparently she was also a he.....

Might be a interesting evening for him.

There is a red button in a briefcase that launches nukes if you got access code.
We then gave it to a emotionally unstable hothead.
Left a post-it with admin password inside briefcase.

Corporate bureaucracy:
How I know, within 30 mins of starting a New day, that I'm perfectly capable of torturing and killing another human being.

And I still have to get 3 more approvals before they will even look at actually doing the task.....

Started signing my internal emails:
<Name>
<Department>
Systemsomethingsomethingdarkside (title)
<Contact info>

Day 8 and noone has noticed.
I've been accepted into the mail herd.

Understanding management talk:
Customer centric = Who we are focused on fucking.
Family oriented = employees should not have one.
Performance focused = f... You, your family and your paycheck.

Tried to explain to the department lead that having devs spend more time documenting what we spend time on, asking for permissions to do anything doesn't make the project go faster.

Leads might feel good about having better overview for themselves, but in reality you just slowed down, demotivated and annoy the entire team of people doing the actual work. Noone wants to or will do overtime because we have to ask for permission first. And you took away one good dev to spend his entire days in meetings instead of actually doing any real work on the project.

#releasethedevs

Dealing with other people.
Machines > humans.
Easier to debug.

While working I was munching from a bowl of candy, suddenly realized my face hurt and hard to breathe. Emergency room....
I apparently ate something I'm allergic to while in a code fog.
No idea what it was yet.
Must have been bad code.

CEO and board members are in town for a meeting and getting shown around. They get to our area chatting loudly and CEO go "shhhh... Be quiet"

(Looney tunes voice)
Me: "we're hunting wabbits!"

Me: Fix this for me and I'll send you a cookie.
Collegue: Deal!
(5 mins later)
Collegue: Done, give me cookie.
Me: send MUIDB4T.txt ..... Long cookie file on Skype.
( Munches chocolate chip cookie)
(Collegue stares in disbelief....)
Me: hey I Even gave you a big one.

( Passes cookie jar )

Today I got yelled at for planning to skip work because I had pressed interested on a Facebook event that occurs at the same time as a overtime work event....

I got the requirements specifications today.... for something I've worked on for a year and is 9 months delayed due to design constantly changing and management always lagging behind.
Best part is specifications have requirements we have no chance of meeting in time.
Yet another failed deadline. Yafd

New dev couldn't get his laptop set up and screens working. After a day struggling I walked over and recommend he plug in the power cord......

Job interview today, wish me luck guys.
It's find another job or take my kids to work every day as the hours aren't possible as a single dad.

Our newest project has 8 leaders / managers pluss project owner and dedicated process manager and 1 developer to do the actual work.
The developer is a rented consultant.