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Search - "crunch time"
- you don't like math
- you don't like study
- you don't read documentation
- you throw out the manual
- you like to punch a clock
- you dislike books and reading
- you don't ever work more than 8 hours
- you can't tolerate the occasional weekend work day
- you fold under pressure
- you aren't good at crunch time
- you can't do on-call without committing seppuku
- you don't have attention to detail
- you aren't interested in technology
- you're not good at explaining things
- you can't deal with change
- you're not excited by the prospect of extreme variety
- you don't have the ability to focus
- you can't deal with ego without resorting to violence
- you can't deal with someone calling your baby ugly
- you can't discriminate between fact and opinion
And many, many more24
Shalom my dudes!
A quick GT from my college years:
>barely knew how to program but eager to learn more and more
>end of first semester, teacher assigns a couple of classic games for extra points
>battleship, pacman, sudoku, tetris, etc. All done in C
>end up with tetris
>2 days later I have the final build, including all the tech shit like walljump
>start thinking to myself "this looks really fucking ugly, what's wrong with me??"
>look up graphic libraries for C when a light flashes on my computer screen
>the next 2 weeks were a montage of me learning linux, understanding ncurses and redoing my code (plus bug fixing)
>palms are spaghetti
>class is impressed with my work
>professor comes up to the board and tells me that I get a 0 because it wasn't "pure C"
>clenched my jaw and walked towards the dean office
>"hey, mind if I show you something?"
>open my laptop and show him the game
>he's having a blast since every time you do a 5 row crunch (a tetris), a piece of clothing of a random model comes off
>explain to him what happened in the classroom
>he looks at my code, runs it on a plagiarism checker and tells me that he will edit the grade himself
> a week later there's a 10 on my grading area
Shit morning, I work in tech, so I guess it is related haha.
First, I wake up and it is cold. Like -12 degrees Fahrenheit. With wind-chill, feels like -29 according to Google. Then, while getting ready for work, my only belt breaks. Not a little, but literally splits in half! Fucking sucks, as my pants keep partially falling down and my shirt keeps untucking.
I go out in this cold that could kill a polar bear, go to start my car. Can you fucking guess? Dead fucking battery. Fuck! Now I am super late to work.
Make it to work, and guess what? My manager just promised 100% completion by Friday, and we are weeks behind! Fucking sucks... I think my coworker snapped, as he keeps hyperventilating at his desk for no reason. Oh and our best coder just quit...
Waiting to either wreck my car or find out my dog is dead when I get home...4
Been a while but I'm back with fresh rants.
If you look in my history you will see support wanted us devs to start paying for writing bugs. Now the release presentation has passed but we're still in crunch time because we can't put clients onto the new version yet. And in the meantime our coffee machine broke. So support has started to manually pour coffee, which was actual real nice of them.
Now yesterday I'm in a hurry and the coffee is out so I decide to pour a quick cup for myself with the leftover grounds. When I'm back at my desk I get a call asking if I just made coffee. I'm like yeah something wrong? Proceed to get chewed out for being selfish and that they see how it is with me, then get hung up on before I can even explain.
So yeah not only is my company too cheap to get a new machine, the lack of one causes drama.
Today however our network guy, who was present when my colleagues asked what was with the weird phone call, brought in his own machine and let me have coffee from it. Meanwhile suport can keep their crappy manual pouring. And I don't need to go into their office anymore.3
After like half of a year crunch, when I was working 10-12 hours a day and no one was paying for overtime I was finally moved to next project. We are working in a field where everyone is completely new to it, except me BUT I didn't admit to that. I complete tasks faster while taking remaining time back!
Last week I sent a pic of Nestle Crunch chocolate to my friend in Whatsapp. Today he told me that he got an ad in Instagram for Nestle Crunch!! Holy crap!
We were trying to figure out how did it happen because we never discussed about the chocolate other than that image. Then I realized that Whatsapp and Instagram was owned by the same fucking company - Facebook!!!
I've stopped using Facebook, Instagram for a very long time and I have ad blockers on every electronic device I touch. So I never understood the gravity of people losing shit over privacy, until today. This indeed is creepy and it hit me real hard. I'm now reading all rants with "privacy" tags and methods to harden my devices to repel from those buggers.10
Fuck this day!
Like really fuck it!
I have one of the most terrible crunch-time i ever experienced.
I’v been working 12+ hours every day with an ever-changing project timeline.
It started simple, we made a timeline, it was risky even then but it was realistic, we started working immideatly, everything looked good then a few days in BOOM! Actually our project management completely forgot client B’s projects soo we need to do that too with the same fucking deadline!!! (About 10x more work in waay less time)
Then this morning i got an email from the graphics team that we need to document our design process RIGHT FUCKING NOW! Because management wants documentations, in the middle of a fucking crunch-time.
Today it almost got physical with my project manager, i told him that he is not a programmer, i dont fucking care about his shit, just fuck off and let me work because we won’t be ready based on his unrealistic bs.
I feel like completely fucked over, like we were told 2 days before deadline that the whole company and people’s jobs depends on us now because if we wont finish this clients won’t pay.
WE ARE TWO PROGRAMMERS for studio of 10-12 people!!!
Soo i’w been thinking about getting the fuck out of here ASAP, i got an offer from a pretty big international gamedev company just what i needed, i already did their test before all of this, i passed A+.
We scheduled a skype interview for today. I had completely no time to prepare or chill off, just got out of the office, got into a starbucks and i’m interviewing. No time to even check my mic or internet, the call was so shit i could not hear anything, they neither because the plaza was loud af. Meanwhile im nervous about work, about the interview, about can they hear me at all because of the noise. I fucked it up. BIG time! I was so done i could not reverse a fucking string in c++ or explain what is a signed int!!!
Needless to say they said no.
Need time to think about it or realize what happened? Nice dreams. Back to the office and continue working.
I can’t do this anymore. My girlfriend came for me and took me home at 10pm but all i could do was stare at the floor on the subway. I don’t want people to lose their jobs but i just phisically can’t do this anymore.
Meanwhile any time i talk to my project manager about being tired he says like “hshshsbsb i have 60 hours in the last 4 days i got the worst part, i would be grateful in your place..” like fuck off dude, i dont give fuck about how you feel about this. This is not okay for me, you did this to the project, your fucking job is to manage it! I have one day off before going back to this, i have completely no idea what to do now...
[ps: this is not Nemesys. They did not let me work on my own stuff because i would be a competitor, so i left.]5
Woo crunch time! The 3 panic attacks a day, no sleep, massive guilt complex, caffiene addiction, lack of seeing my wife, phone breaking(calling doesn't work), lawn needing mowing, upper management bothering all of my team, more guilt, more panic, inferiority complex, theory that coworkers think I am slacking, and technology just not working because the machine spirit decided I pissed it off is starting to get to me a little.3
- Procrastinate 1 work day
- Try to crunch 2 work days into one
- Feel frustrated because there is not enough time
Project manager, who i've complained in the past is neglecting critical things that he doesn't want to do, decided today to cancel our weekly planning meeting, to have the below conversation with me 1:1. Its very long, but anyone who has the will to get through it ... please tell me it's not just me. I'm so bewildered and angry.
Side note: His solution to the planning meeting not taking place ... to just not have one and asked everyone to figure it out themselves offline, with no guidance on priorities.
PM: I need to talk to you about some of phrasing you use during collaboration. It's coming across slightly offensive, or angry or something like that.
Me: ok, can you give me an example?
PM: The ticket I opened yesterday, where you closed it with a comment something along the lines of "as discussed several times before, this is an issue with library X, can't be fixed until Y ...".
"As discussed several times" comes across aggressive.
Me: Ok, fair enough, I get quite frustrated when we are under a crunch, working long hours, and I have to keep debugging or responding to the same tickets over and over. I mean, like we do need to solve this problem, I don't think its fair that we just keep ignoring this.
PM: See this is the problem, you never told me.
Me: ... told you what?
PM: That this is a known issue and not to test it.
Me: ..... i'm sorry ..... I did, that was the comment, this is the 4th ticket i've closed about it.
PM: Right but when you sent me this app, you never said "don't test this".
Me: But I told you that, the last 3 times that it won't be in until feature X, which you know is next month.
PM: No, you need to tell me on each internal release what not to test.
Me: But we release multiple times per week internally. Do you really need me to write a big list of "still broken, still broken, still broken, still broken"?
PM: Yes, how else will I know?
Me: This is documented, the last QA contractor we had work for us, wrote a lot of this down. Its in other tickets that are still open, or notes on test cases etc. You were tagged in all of these too. Can you not read those? and not test them unless I say I've fixed them?
PM: No, i'm only filling for QA until we hire a full time. Thats QA's job to read those and maintain those documents.
Me: So you want me to document for you every single release, whats already documented in a different place?
PM: ok we'll come back to this. Speaking of hiring QA. You left a comment on the excel spreadsheet questioning my decision, publicly, thats not ok.
Me: When I asked why my top pick was rejected?
PM: Yes. Its great that you are involved in this, but I have to work closely with this person and I said no, is that not enough?
Me: Well you asked me to participate, reviewing resumes's and interviewing people. And I also have to work extremely close with this person.
PM: Are you doubting my ability to interview or filter people?
Me: ..... well a little bit yeah. You asked me to interview your top pick after you interviewed her and thought she was great. She was very under qualified. And the second resume you picked was missing 50% of the requirements we asked for ... given those two didn't go well, I do think its fair to ask why my top pick was rejected? ... even just to know the reason?
PM: Could you not have asked publicly? face to face?
Me: you tagged me on a google sheet, asking me to review a resume, and rather than tag you back on 2 rows below ... you want me to wait 4 days to ask you at our next face to face? (which you just cancelled for this meeting)
PM: That would have been more appropriate
Me: ..... i'm sorry, i don't want to be rude but thats ridiculous and very nit pick-y. You asked my opinion on one row, I asked yours on another. To say theres anything wrong with that is ridiculous
PM: Well we are going to call another team meeting and discuss all this face to face then, because this isn't working. We need to jump to this other call now, lets leave it here.5
I'm lead frontend developer/ consultant on a big government project, it's 10 days to release and I couldn't make it to a dinner with girlfriends extended family.
Pretty sure I just got dumped as she doesn't want to be in the way for my work so she is packing her stuff and leaving my apartment tonight.
So had a 1:1 with my manager today followed by 1:1 with lead.
I did bring up the topic that I felt a little insecure about being sacked.
Both of them reassured me multiple times that losing my job would be the last of the last things. We have so much work and going through a resource crunch to keep up with the pace.
There are still many things I have to learn here. I am glad that my proactive-ness has always helped me learn faster and better. This way, I was also able to offer a helping hand to my manager by saying if they need any help on the transitioning, I am will to take extra on my plate until we have a replacement.
A bumpy ride ahead for sometime but surely manager is impressed with the speed at which I ramped up and willingness to go beyond.
Overall, I see this as a good opportunity to step into the lime light, build an amazing product from scratch in a publicly traded company, and a good good chance to relocate to EU when I show them good results with my performance.
Overall, sky looks brighter but sea will be a little rough for some time.4
We were on a time crunch for giving a demo. A friend wrote a piece of code and he said it was working exactly the way it should be and that we can directly transfer to my machine and run it. He ran the piece (on his machine to show me) and it worked.
I take the source from him transfer it on my machine (because mine was going to be used for the demo).
Demo begins, everything goes smoothly ...all up until the point of the last module demo. Alas, the transfered module didn't work. Tried debugging during the demo as everyone was cooperative and patient. Turns out I hadn't done an initial setup required for that module. Embarrassed! 😓
Should have tested before the demo. 😞
FML. But from that moment forward i make sure to test every code I get from others as well as the one I write.
For anyone planning to ask me, I don't remember what the piece of code even did. It was a small time side project with a company. Not revealing the company's name.2
Hitting a really deep, deep low in the manic-depressive roller-coaster of the development cycle:
There comes the crunch time. No meeting goes by hearing the odious: "We don't have time for that." - One critical component needs to be finished for Big Sur and instead of addressing the real issues we keep changing design and goal. One main dev already gave up fighting the PO and team lead(!) - and now I'm next. So that dev build this really clean and minimal library as the core part. But now it's just like, yeah, take that nice Porsche engine put it on the old rusty bicycle from the shed,.. but maybe because that's so shitty we need that specially formed exhaust pipe to tune it. Yeah, very 'agile' - Only thinking about it makes me shudder in disbelief and anger. I shouldn't take that shit so serious, be emotional about shit code, I know, but I can't. Let them drive some rounds around the block, if it runs at all,.. because until now we still didn't make it run on the fuckin' street. It's all so insane. Will make some nice fireball, when it goes up in flames.
Well, I have been part of quite some shitty projects. Real suicide commandos set out to fail, and somehow stood them through or made it even "work" though it should never have. But what enrages me here is, that it needn't to be that way. We had plenty of time. Our team was often rowing along in good rhythm. And now I just feel drowned in resignation and sarcasm.
What a week!!
Seriously exhausted. Crunch time to launch a brand new service... Pulling all nighters and stress.
Looking forward to having many beers with the boss to celebrate once it's a done and dusted.
Rant...ish? It's more mixed feelings...
Had my first day yesterday at a new job in a big company. I came dressed really nicely in a suit and tie. Went to orientation with everyone new coming in.
Felt like I made the right choice to up my effort in dress code.
Met with my manager, was led to my team. Everyone is dressed casually. Unshaved. Giving me hate stares.
Felt out of place. But kind of happy that I can try less.
Still. What's up with programmers and being toxic to people dressed nicely o.0 I don't need to look like I came out of crunch time every single day to prove my worth...
It's really weird getting these looks. It's almost like highschool all over again. When I let my mother dress me and looked like the nerdiest kid on the block...
Then again, today I'm wearing sneakers and causal clothes. I either feel like I cave in to peer pressure... But at the same time I don't mind it. Erghhh... Still hate this...
Mixed feelings... I donno.4
It's hard for me sometimes to tell the difference between a dev who actually got fucked and a dev who just didn't know how to budget their time correctly...
I've had freelance web friends who will go out partying twice a week... I've also had freelance web friends who shutter themselves indoors the moment a project of significance comes up. Both types have complained to me about crunch time.
Obviously i can't tell a whole story from just a devRant thread, but for a select few of them i really feel like this person just had no idea what they were doing, were negligent, or estimated their time way under the cut.
I'm not calling anyone out, I'm just saying that when you post about crunch when the item is something fairly obvious you should've been able to catch within the first week of the project, it makes me doubt your sensibilities.
Obviously I'm not making any judgements or saying that i know even half of what you know about the project and the job, but I'm just saying a little more detail couldnt hurt...7
My girlfriend, at the end of a totally unrelated bachelor's degree, has decided she wants to go into web design (or really design in general). Which is exciting cause her degree... Well, let's just say jobs aren't lined up.
I'm a front end guy and I have a lot of experience with UX, so time to crunch some learning in. Takes me back to my self teaching days haha, students becomes the teacher 🙈6
With crunch time closing in, everybody but me seems to call in sick.
Nice move, colleagues, nice move.2
I can't stand how big tech companies treat you like a child. Every fucking team bonding activity is more childlike than the other.
Its like they are about to bundle crayons and pizza next time you are on crunch.4
I have a lot of fun during crunch time.
It's like running a marathon. It is both physically and mentally taxing, and I get a rush out of seeing how hard I can push myself.
But like a marathon, it suuuuucks if you are not prepared, or you otherwise didn't want to do that.
You hear that bosses?
Crunch is like running a marathon. That thing that people, who prepare for years to do, still causes them to piss and shit themselves while their nipples bleed. And that's when they are fully prepared. That is what you are asking your team to do without any notice ahead of time.
"Ok Derrick, I know you wanted to visit your family in the country this weekend. But we need you to run uphill, fuled only by diet dr pepper and fear of loosing your job, untill you pass out and need an I.V. to keep you from stroking out. '
Otherwise a lot of fun.
Day 10 of crunch time. I have entered a sleepless zen state. Lord willing, I will be able to get 7 hours of sleep Saturday night. The building is terrifying at night, as there are a lot of noises. Security guards are nice, but curious to see me all alone. Must not show weakness in case they think numbers will give them an advantage over me.
Supplies are low. Only one type of energy drink left in the machine, and coffee gone for the night. My phone is out of fast data so Pandora is spotty at best. I have battery to get me through the night at least.
Tomorrow and Saturday decide the fate of the project. My team lead has not slept in at least 2 days. I feel guilty napping when I do, but she is driven like Ahab so I will let her obsession carry her.
If I am alive tomorrow I will report in.1
"I am barely awake, it must be like 3-4 am. This has been a long day at the office!"
It is 11pm... Long night to go!1
1) IList doesn't have an AddRange.
2) WPF bindings must be ObservableCollections
3) Comboxes using Event Notification on PropertyChange are originally developed by some dope at Microsoft who still doesn't comprehend Big-O
4) LINQ can only do so much...
It's Christmas. My gift from Santa is trying to get through an end of year crunch on a project that is made entirely out of hot sweaty year old garbage, and the garbage collector is a halfwit who comes seemingly only when they want to, regardless of when I call Dispose().
It's 12:26pm here. That means it's time for bourbon and a good bit of "F*** this, I'm done for the day."7
I have been on crunch time for so long, with so many hours I don't even know what day of the week it is. I legitimately had to look it up. I also calculated my hourly rate for the last 3.5 weeks, and I was making the same as a grocery store bagger! Being salaried sucks in times like this. I am paid peanuts.
Last night I woke up every 30 minutes in a panic I was late to work. This job is killing me, and all because the sales team sold the product on an unrealistic deadline, for no money...
In addition, I am gaining weight, haven't seen my family for any significant period of time for ages, and Taco Bell knows me by name and order...
On that note, next Monday I am going to go into my boss' office, and demand like a 50%-75% raise! I am terrified! Haha
Migraines are fun though. THE PAIN PROVES I AM ALIVE!8
Look what arrived just in time for another crunch time weekend. This ball will surely see some usage the next few days 😀
Thank you so much @dfox!2
We all have that guy in the team who everyone loves because he is such a laugh, but doesn't do shit and we have to work extra to be able to barely meet the deadline4
Customers CEO insists we need to start the 3 weeks to deliver crunch website project by having the hottest UX design on the planet done by a professional UX specialist specializing in hotness who might charge a lot and take a few weeks and leave us no time to deliver said hotness. Grrrr.
I felt like Sirus Black as a dog bouncing of the chest of the werewolf.
Better get started...oh look at this shiny new piece of tech. 3 days later with evaluation done on each usable tech alternative crunch the solution together in record time with tech most similar to your previous one.
So, if anyone remembers my previous rants (or otherwise), the app I'm working on is finally going to release. We release in about a week and a half, despite having at minimum 10 days work + testing (not including all testing of aws migration that we still haven't fully completed) to even have an MVP.
This is all because the clients have been pushing a release date (16th July) in marketing. Oh, and the icing on the cake? Our boss agreed for a submission to app stores (back-end pending) on Friday (yes, in like 3 days) instead of the agreed next Wednesday date.
Side note: the client is coming over to our office for Thursday and Friday. Why? We are unsure.
Just spend the entire weekend preparing for, execution and cleaning up after a live stream.
When we'll, but holy shitfuck was it a stressful experience.
The guy in charge and with the vision pulled this one out of his ass, 12 hours before going live:
By the way, that system I talked about, where a moderator can pick comments from the YouTube chat, so that the hosts can look at the useful ones and choose to have them shown on the stream. Yeah, it doesn't work and you are better at programming than me, so you fix it.
Good bye sleep 😔
I (frontend) was given 2 weeks to develop a new feature of the app. Almost after the end of 1 week, backend guy was finished with his code , with still bugs pending. Since backend wasn't ready for most part of the development process, I was working on my part, basically creating functionality and created views using the UI guys wireframes.
Now, we were on a time crunch , I didn't got enough time to improve the wireframes or to work with the UI guy . I released on staging environment and no one liked the UI.
App feature was supposed to be released on Tuesday. Shit hit the fan and i had to create a new ui, code the new parts of the app, do shit ton of other work and extending the deadline to today.
As of now backend code is still not fully functional,
app is ready but edge cases still not tested and I have to pull an all nighter to finish this fucking piece of shit.3
There's time crunch already, we need to finish this feature, this stupid fucking feature, quickly.
We design, and then code and obviously because of Murphy's law, our code doesn't work. Why, you ask. Because some shithead was modifying arguments behind the scenes and it took us fuckload of time to reach this conclusion.
Out of frustration, I made this.
It's a tiny library which helps you log every single change done to your object.
But seriously, fuck that shithead who modifies things without a care in the world!
For the final week of a group project at university, the project members and I ended up staying in the computer labs pretty much for 5 days. Another project group did the same (to this day we're still good friends). Everyone brought in their PCs from home and we ended up sleeping in the labs overnight. None of us went to classes as it was pretty full on crunch time to get the project done.
When it was time to eat, we each took turns to go on a food run for everyone, like getting McDonalds, or getting everyone coffee or energy drinks. Of course it wasn't all just work. At the time Quake 4 was just released and we had some pretty epic matches at 3am.