But not like this😂😂😝

When you accidentally click the Android Studio icon:

My dad called me up at 11:30 PM telling me that his computer wasn't booting. I drive over to see what was going on. I notice immediately that the motherboard light is a solid amber light.

Me: "The motherboard is amber, that means it's failing to POST".

Dad: "How soon can we fix it? I need to run my Ebay business."

Me: "A week probably. You have a laptop that works can you use that?"

Dad: "It doesn't work great with Windows, it's not a very powerful compu"

Me: "You're going to use Linux dad. Welcome to Linux."

He is going places.

The best joke in this month :D

Finally, A Place where people understand you, who you are and what you're talking about. You don't have to feel weird when you post those dev rants..haha thanks Dave and Tim for devRant.

Some years ago I was in cyber security in the military being shown some new tech for our use. Was challenged to try and get past it after being explained it's basics. Took me one long line in Linux about 10 seconds.
Anomaly detection firewall with machine learning seemed like a good idea.
Setting it to aggressive response and then change the package header to the firewall's own address however made it kill itself.

We didn't deploy that firewall that I know of.

Can we all grow up and acknowledge that every programming language has its benefits and drawbacks? You don't sound edgy and sophisticated by only advocating for your language of choice, you twat.

Stack overflow is the only place you don't return empty handed, either you get answers or you get downvotes!

When the PM says, "That's just an if statement, right?"

If you're expecting a call from a company to do a phone screen, make sure your phone is charged... if it dies before you can even tell me why you're looking for a new job and I still can't reach you 15 minutes later, it's very off putting.

"Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning." - Rich Cook

Had lunch with my girlfriend today. After we had eaten I was just browsing Devrant and she (without looking at what I was doing) she said "Let's go, you can rant about coding somewhere else".

well, sorry Dave

Have you tried turning me off and on again, Doc?

Guess what language Pokémon Go was written in..

The web is dark and full of WordPress poorly configured...

Trump made America great again

Meanwhile !!

Inherited project from another company that the owner wants updated rather than rebuilt.

The comments could write a programmers joke book as you can tell it's been passed between multiple developers.

This is a literal excerpt
//Not sure why this line needs to be here but it breaks without it
//Nope I don't know either
//FFS now I have to deal with this. Thanks guys :/

That moment when starbucks open right below your apartment 😍 #freeWiFI

So I barely get home and I see my 10 year old sister in the living room coding with the Xcode Playground, I asked her where she learned how to do that and she said "I just read the books you had." I'm so proud. 😭🤘🏼

Out of everything in this assignment, I just know I'll lose more marks for shitty variable naming than any missing features.
Commenting? Perfectly acceptable. Use of functions and classes? Perfectly acceptable.
Variable names? perfectAcceptableMaybeFileOneButAsAString

I don't get how I'm so shitty at it! I currently have shit like file input, file input as string, file input as vector, I didn't know that would be the hardest part!

London underground has higher frequency than you

Tried a mobile app club this semester and the second meeting they brought in these two business majors who said they had an idea for an app that would share videos of college parties and the videos would disappear after 24 hours. You could also invite people to the parties as well.

I was like so you basically want snapchat... what happens when cops create accounts and fine people for under age drinking? How will you get market share over snapchat or vine? How much money are you offering?

They were not pleased...

Went really well through development questions, some basic process stuff... generally a really good interview, only thing that seemed at all unusual was the guy conducting it seemed very young to be holding interviews for such a senior role.

Then we were chatting casually before we wrapped up, I mentioned something about my kids. The guy immediately went stiff as a plank, rushed through mumbled pleasantries to get me out the door, and I got a rejection email 25 minutes later.

It was horrific but I'm guessing I dodged quite the bullet!

Just joined this, let the rants begin. Intern data engineer and developer for an oil company so there should be lots 😂

I think @dfox +1's every rant to make us feel special.

The project tech lead asks me to add some Docker configuration files sent by the client to a project. He gives me a zip file and I unzip it and add the files to Git. Job done.
Later he checks the commit and starts bitching because I unzipped the file and it should have been added as a zip. After much debate trying to explain to him that Docker wouldn't open the zip file to search for the Dockerfile he just says "Can you just do it? I double checked with the client!". I give up after giving him all the arguments why he is wrong and do it.
The next day the client checks the commit and comments bitching that I included the zip file and not the contents of it.

Here's an idea:

What if we bundled swag store orders to a particular country so the cost of shipping everything gets spread across?

Although I don't live in a central area of the UK, I'd volunteer to receive multiple orders and then further post them to their final destinations. Posting locally is definitely cheaper, so if the math is done right, everybody wins.

:)