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Speaking of bad dev days, what a week I'll be having.
Lead-dev: I've got some bad news for you.
Me: Client X?
Lead: Client X.
Me: How many pages do I have to change?
Lead: All of them.
Me: On how many of their websites?
Lead: All of them.
Me: All of them?
Lead: All. Of. Them.19 -
Congrats to Rami Malek for winning Emmy Award for best lead actor in a drama series - Mr. Robot. He was stunned to win over heavy competition. Must be a modest guy.
4 -
Team Lead: Anyone has any concern on their tasks? I'll see what I can do to help.
Me: Yeah I'm afraid I would not be able to finish my task on time because of its complexity.
Team Lead: Try harder.
What's the point of asking?
11 -
So i've been a dev manager for a little while now. Thought i'd take some time to disambiguate some job titles to let everyone know what they might be in for when joining / moving around a big org.
Title: Senior Software Engineer
Background:
- Technical
- Clever
- Typically has years experience building what management are trying to build
Responsibilities:
- Building new features
- Writing code
- Code review
- Offering advice to product manag......OH NO YOU DON'T CODE MONKEY, BACK TO WORK!
Title: Dev Manager
Background:
- Technical
- Former/current programmer
- knows his/her way around a codebase.
Responsibilities:
- Recruiting / interviewing new staff
- Keeping the team focused and delivering tasks
- Architecture decisions
- Lying about complexity of architecture decisions to ensure team gets the actual time they need
- Lying about feature estimations to ensure team gets to work on critical technical improvements that were cancelled / de-prioritised
- Explaining to hire-ups why we can't "Just do it quicker"
- Explaining to senior engineers why the product manager declined their meeting request
Title: Product / Product Manager
Background:
- Nothing relevant to the industry or product line what so ever
- Found the correct building on the day of the interview
- Has once opened an Excel spreadsheet and successfully saved it to a desktop
Responsibilities:
- Making every key decision about every feature available in the app
- Learning to ignore that inner voice we like to call "Common sense"
- Making sure to not accidentally take some advice from technical staff
- Raising the blood pressure of everyone below them / working with them
Title: Program Lead / Product Owner
Background:
- Capable of speech
- Aware of what a computer is (optional)
Responsibilities:
- Sitting down
- Talking
- Clicking random buttons on Jira
- Making bullet point lists
Title: Director of Software Engineering
Background:
- Allegedly attended college/university to study computer science
- Similar to a technical product manager (technical optional)
Responsibilities:
- Reports directly to VP
- Fixes problems by creating a different problem somewhere else as a distraction
- Claiming to understand and green light technical decisions, while having already agreed with product that it will never happen9 -
Newspaper: This CEO is one of the top entrepreneurs in the country, a true tech visionary shaping the future.
--- 3 months previous ---
Lead dev: O2 have said they are will pre-install the app on all their Androids but they need documentation from us.
CEO: documentation? on what?
Lead dev: Our unit test coverage, bugs found / fixed, security scan results, performance assessment, if and where its storing any data etc.
CEO: Ah were not doing any of that crap, bloody unit tests, its not necessary, tell them no.
lead dev: ..... eh ok
O2: *approved*
... true visionary, well done to everyone involved.3 -
Javascript developer interview
One of the RH interviewers started asking about myself, personal information, etc..
He : well, let me introduce you our tech lead, he will make you some question about JS
Me : alright
Tech Lead : ummm, do you know javascript?
Me : yes..?
Tech Lead : ok, cool. We will call you.
I got the job..11 -
Team lead dismisses my request for promotion to senior, "need more experience", 3 hours later get job offer for senior position5
-
Senior development manager in my org posted a rant in slack about how all our issues with app development are from
“Constantly moving goalposts from version to version of Xcode”
It took me a few minutes to calm myself down and not reply. So I’ll vent here to myself as a form of therapy instead.
Reality Check:
- You frequently discuss the fact that you don’t like following any of apples standards or app development guidelines. Bit rich to say the goalposts are moving when you have your back to them.
- We have a custom everything (navigation stack handler, table view like control etc). There’s nothing in these that can’t be done with the native ones. All that wasted dev time is on you guys.
- Last week a guy held a session about all the memory leaks he found in these custom libraries/controls. Again, your teams don’t know the basic fundamentals of the language or programming in general really. Not sure how that’s apples fault.
- Your “great emphasis on unit testing” has gotten us 21% coverage on iOS and an Android team recently said to us “yeah looks like the tests won’t compile. Well we haven’t touched them in like a year. Just ignore them”. Stability of the app is definitely on you and the team.
- Having half the app in react-native and half in native (split between objective-c and swift) is making nobodies life easier.
- The company forces us to use a custom built CI/CD solution that regularly runs out of memory, reports false negatives and has no specific mobile features built in. Did apple force this on us too?
- Shut the fuck up6 -
Team Lead: don't ask me to help with your problem, open a ticket
*opens ticket*
*ticket gets routed to team lead*
Hahahaha :D3 -
Subject: FW: Twilio integration
Date: 20th June
From: <program-lead>
PractiseSafeHex I need you to fill in the dev completion dates for the Twilio task for the mobile team by EOD today. Backend have already supplied theres. Otherwise I will be forced to mark the task as “At Risk”. Please let me know if there is an issue or you are blocked.
—- Begin Forwarded Mail ——
Subject: Twilio integration
Date: 18th June
From: <program-lead>
Hi All,
Documenting today’s meeting minutes. Backend confirmed they will handle the Twilio integration from their side entirely. There will be no mobile work required for this task.
Thank you,
<program-lead>11 -
Senior Devs made the Program Manager cry. Dev Lead did nothing to stop it from happening, Program Manager Lead was in shock.17
-
My team mate designated as Lead Engineer, pushed the compiled Java class files to Git!! And fuckers like him always end up getting paid more than you!! 😡6
-
Wait... wait....., I'm the sole developer at a company does that make me the Lead Developer and Senior Developer. TIME TO UPDATE THE CV13
-
Lead: "We write SOLID code"
Me: *opens a controller file*
Controller: "I'm 8000 lines long and hell yeah I'll access the database and file system directly!"5 -
Lead Dev: Just use jQuery, it'll save us from adding a whole new directive in Angular.
Me: 🤦♂️
Coworker: 🤦♀️10 -
My team lead force pushed to master. This guys always complains when we merge PRs with wip or fixup commits and he just did it himself and tried to cover it up doing a rebase on the master branch.
Good job fucking up everyone. 👍5 -
Asked my Tech Lead a question, told me everything in Software Engineering, except the answer to that question!!1
-
German autocorrect always changes "git" to "gut" (good). Lead to some funny moments. (Translation) "Clone the good stuff" or "There is nothing better then gut"6
-
Coworker: Hey, you made some changes over here in module X?
Me: Yeah. The old way was deprecated and we need to switch all of our modules over to the new way.
Coworker: Okay. I'm working in module Y now. When are you going to get to it and make those changes?
Me: ... I sent out an email and a message in group chat saying we all need to make these changes as we find them.
Coworker: Uh-huh. So when are you going to update this? It's blocking me.4 -
I'm fucking tired of this so called lead developer, lead developer my ass:
- He takes two days to complete a simple task and he dares to ask me why I extended the deadline of this freaking complex feature I need to build.
- He does a half-assed job when completes a task, no validation of data, no well informative message when exceptions are th thrown ...
- He assigns me his tasks although I already have tons and we need to release soon.
- I take care of developing and maintaining 60% of the APIs and I implemented the most complex of features and he dares to always say that my code can be optimized in a vague way, never mentioning what exactly is he talking about, and never telling me beforehand, he always does it during team meetings where another thing is being discussed.
- He presents the app to the whole company and at the end doesn't give credit where it's due, no " thank you for being part of this or helping build this" even if I built most of that shit, instead he says he's disappointed in me ... WTF! What did you fucking do to build this to be disappointed in me? I'm the fucking disappointed one here !!
- He fucking keeps preaching practices that he doesn't follow or he finds workarounds to skip them while the rest of the team follows them.
- He's like "I'm only taking care of this task to help you out?!" .... wtf! I have nothing to do with that fucking task, how are you helping me! You just keep fucking lazing around when we need to be finishing features asap.
Thank God I don't expect anything from you, I get enough credit from my boss who expresses how impressed he's with my job.8 -
Wanted to give DuckDuckGo a try, later I realized I better not to, because a one letter mistake will lead to disasters.
I mistakenly typed: dickdickgo.com :)16 -
**Overheard new intern struggling with git talking to lead developer
Intern: "I am having trouble with the git repo on my local machine, can you take a look?"
*** Looks at code for three seconds
Lead developer: "Yeah, I suggest you just delete and reclone the repo."7 -
We are debugging Wordpress syndication plugin tomorrow at work, the intern is uber scared because the lead dev is missing. Rest in peace my soul.(I'm the intern)4
-
In a weekend release chatroom, the lead- working from WiFi in a bar- asks "What's the issue count?" But forgot the "o".4
-
Dev lead on another team: Ok we can build that API for the mobile apps, we'll generate everything, generate printable images for the labels, persist it all and do all the relevant lookups and checks. Do you need an SLA?
Director: Yes, 9ms
*silence*
Lead: Sorry .... 9ms?
Director: yeah, its a must have
Lead: ... the speed of light wouldn't even let us transmit it that fast18 -
Long rant, sorry.
I’m pretty upset, or let’s say: I want to kick asses and chew gum but I’m all out of gum(The duke TM).
Yesterday we had a discussion in the office about salary basically.
Context: The company has about 150 employees and earns a lot of money. I’m the lead dev for about 1.5 years since I joined.
So I talked to our CEO/HR about a raise since I was hired as a normal fullstack dev(title is lead dev now) but have to:
train my junior(PHP), frontend guy(react), our QA(Automation with cypress atm), our junior devop(gitlab, jenkins, docker) and even assist marketing with GTM and adword campaigns.
I’m a jack of all trades basically since I was a freelancer for big brands for a long time.
I’m fine with helping/training, I like it a lot but I still have to watch everything and be fast with my own stuff. If anything goes wrong, people call me.
That will change since I train them all(They will all be independent soon) but still, doing everything for the same pay feels wrong.
Bottom line: CEO told me it’s cool that they can use all my skills but I won’t get a raise.
The worst/strangest was: My coworkers heard about that(as always in an office) and were like: Everybody should get paid equally because we’re all a team. Uhm, ok?
I just contacted the head hunter which got me that job. I guess I’ll just see what the market has to offer.
It should never be about money but this was confusing. People telling me we should all be equal who are on their mobiles 3h a day and feel underpaid. Check yourself, really.
People who think their pure presence is enough.. Germany -.-25 -
Developers Rant
When your team lead tells you to exactly replicate the ui which your designer has done using photoshop and the jpg output is given to the developer.
1 -
Two weeks ago, our lead presents jenkins to our apprentice.
Apprentice : why some projects have a cloud icon and other a sun ?
Lead : because there were cloud outside when build finished.
Today we still laugh about it. -
He fails at managing his time and can't finish his tasks in work days ... suggests to work on the weekend and drags the whole team with him.
Sorry mate, but I ain't fucking working on weekend !
Team lead my ass 😡😡9 -
My team lead is off this week and I was selected to be the "acting team lead". So far I have attended 73648283 meetings. Please pray for me!2
-
Actually happened on a code review:
Tech lead: "Why did you remove this code?"
Dev: "Why did you wrote this code?"1 -
Funniest meeting ever!
Some years ago, there was the regular department meeting where useless news from upper management were handed down. The team I was in was also there: team lead, co-worker and me. The team lead had a new girl and was daydreaming of their nights, my co-worker wasn't quite back from the football match on the weekend, and I was playing chess on my mobile.
Department lead was blah blah blah and when can we do this on your rig? We looked at each other and instantly realised that none had been paying attention.
My co-worker was the fastest to recover and straight-facedly turned to me: "Well Fast-Nop, that's your domain."
I picked the ball up before team lead could say something: "Sure, but schedule appointment is for our lead."
Our lead couldn't contradict us and then had to negotiate a schedule while trying to find out what it was about. *LOL*2 -
The worst kind of team member is the one that won’t follow and can’t lead. So obviously can’t lead 🙄!
-
I got my first programming job half a year ago, the lead developer there is really fucked up... he is old fashioned and stubborn as hell. He developed a platform that is a mess, his comment: “it works”... but now I have to fix it... I argued with my boss and convinced him to put more time in making it more scalable and feature proof. But the lead developer back then... he didn’t agree it seems like he want to do everything as quickly as possible... now half a year later he stopped working for us and I’m the lead developer now.
And I’m discovering more and more bad decisions... HOWWWW
WHAT DID THIS GUY DO???
At one time I was arguing with him and he backfired a comment: “I’m doing it like this for 10 years”... so I guess that’s the problem... he didn’t put effort in keeping up with the latest developments...
There is literally no structure in his work, every file is different... HOW DO I FIX THIS IN A NICE WAY??? I’m thinking to just start over again...11 -
Sprint planning meeting, two hours trying to plan what to do with a new feature we wanted to add to one of our systems.
The boss gets out of the meeting room to get a phone number to make a call (we needed to ask something to one of our clients).
5 minutes later, the boss comes back and saw that the lead dev was going to his own desk.
Boss: Where do you think you’re going?
Lead dev: I’m bored :v
😂😂😂😂😂7 -
team lead: what is the minimum lenght validation on the first name field?
dev: i decided to put minlenhgt 3
team lead: why? did you tests it
Dev: i tested it. 3 makes sense to me
Team lead: isint your first name 2 letters long?
Dev: oh i dodth think about that4 -
Me: I think we should implement some kind of unit tests.
Lead: No time everything will take twice as long.
* some of my code accidentally breaks some of his *
Lead: I think we should implement some kind of unit tests...4 -
The project tech lead asks me to add some Docker configuration files sent by the client to a project. He gives me a zip file and I unzip it and add the files to Git. Job done.
Later he checks the commit and starts bitching because I unzipped the file and it should have been added as a zip. After much debate trying to explain to him that Docker wouldn't open the zip file to search for the Dockerfile he just says "Can you just do it? I double checked with the client!". I give up after giving him all the arguments why he is wrong and do it.
The next day the client checks the commit and comments bitching that I included the zip file and not the contents of it.4 -
Me: Are you sure you want this in the acceptance test procedure?
Lead: Yes.
Me: I'm just saying, we don't have any requirements for this feature so it doesn't really belong there.
Lead: Just put it in.
Me: Are you sure? It's a lot of work for something that isn't even required to be there.
Lead: Go do it.
Me: Okay.
*I do the work and it goes to peer review*
High ranking person from another team: I don't see any requirements traceability. Why is this in here if there are no requirements?
Me: WELL AIN'T THAT A GOOD GODDAMN QUESTION!?3 -
#7
The former dev tried to implement redirects. He created dozens of routes wich lead to a 'redirectXY' method within the 'mainController'. There he returned a redirect Instance.
😓🔨5 -
When I wasn’t the lead yet there are so many things I want to do and improve. I have asked and judged my lead’s choices a thousand times for choosing the easy and fast way instead of the right way.
Now that he left and his role was given to me, I can now sense the same judgements from my members to the decisions I make (or not make).
I now understand. We don’t always have the luxury of time. If I say yes to improving everything at once then our app will never be done. (That our bosses will blame me for)4 -
Fucking hate when "senior" and "lead" devs ignore the advice of numerous junior devs when it comes to technical and process driven decisions. Especially when said higherups don't even code anymore and don't really understand the consequences of their decisions.10
-
Project manager asks why server is down. Reminded him that his team lead told me three months ago it was no longer needed.
-
As lead developer I was not allowed to implement automated testing as "we don't have time for that" - you have no idea how much time it would save!6
-
Found out today my boss told the team lead to put an unfinished part of the software that I'm developing into production so the clients 'could look at it already'. Team lead claims he objected but boss insisted. So now our error logs are filling up with lines every time it silently fails, and the pressure is on even harder to make it work asap. This has been going since the start of the week and I found out about it now. Boss told team lead it looks better to the clients this way. Meanwhile I'm just thanking the heavens this at least couldn't cause data loss. Probably. *panic intensifies*5
-
You aren't qualified to be lead dev he says while calling, emailing, and texting daily to ask me how to do high level developer type stuff. Seriously.
-
At work:
** fast typing from lead and me fx**
** lead stops typing, scratch record sound and headhphones being taken off fx**
Lead Devel: Yo Al
*still typing fx**
Me: whats good gansgtah
L.D: remember how we talked about bringing in a version manager into that <huge_pilo_shit> program? But we haven't done it cuz we some lazy mofockas?
** now I stop typing **
Me: .....yes......fuck
Him: yes...fuck
O_o fuck....that bitch is huge man.......2 -
That feeling when lead dev hid a couple of really secret bugs for you, and then left for vacation... *cough* @BinaryProvider 😉
3 -
Looking through our gitlog today and see 3 PR's from our "lead developer". 2 of these were removing a single blank line from a class, and the 3rd was adding one back in. None of these had any title or commit messages on the PR's. This is a guy that talks down to everyone and deliberately makes other devs feel insignificant, saying he's too busy to write documentation and it's not needed because his uncommented code is self documenting. But hang on he's not too busy to waste time with pointless non-functional PR's that only remove a couple of blank lines? Scratching my head in disbelief that some devs think they can get away with shit like this. How about you drop the ego and actually try and work in collaboration with the other devs.2
-
Project Lead: “This needs to be fixed until Friday, no matter what!”
This is not how this works, that’s not how any of this works...3 -
Yay, my sister is going to Mongolia next week from Infosys as a project lead in Finacle. (a banking product)7
-
My team lead be like when we're in a meeting with the boss:
He: I'll have a working session with her, we'll brainstorm on how to come up with a better design and improve such and such feature, once that's done, we would call you to have another meeting.
Boss: sounds good, I'm looking forward to it.
Me: *internally rolls eyes...*
He: thank you everyone.
.
*meeting done*
.
.
.
couple of minutes later, I get a message from him:
He: hey, it turns out I'm busy and I can't have that session with you, do come up with a new idea/design and share it with me.
Me: .... *fuck you, like you didn't know you were busy before making that fake promise*
.
.
.
The fucker will take credit again for things he didn't do.8 -
!rant
Going to quit my job today.
Feeling bad because my bosses are great guys and lead a great company.
Feeling like an asshole...6 -
Left my post as a software engineer in a Software Development company.
I’m now a Lead engineer in a consultancy.2 -
Most unprofessional exp. at work:
A lead developer working on personal projects at work, in plain view of directors. Also openly talking about his business venture when possible. -
When they update the company roster and your title unknowingly changed from lead web developer to senior software engineer 😳3
-
[dec. 21]
lead: thanks for completing all the docs, i'll review them so you can do the revisions next week
[dec. 22]
me: sir, any feedback on the first few? so i can work on them while you review the others
lead: i'll send them EOD
[dec. 26]
was notified by our manager that our lead is on leave til 27. didn't get any email or anything for review points
[dec. 28]
lead: so how's the revisions doing?
me: done. if you can review them again...
almost end of day, haven't heard anything from him yet. -
Brain storming with senior lead developer. We try to add new tables in our database. But the Google spreadsheet goes wrong
4 -
What I miss about not being a team lead is how I used to spend all my hours in the office coding. Just coding.5
-
Started a new job and our tech lead doesn't know how to use GIT in a team environment, has only ever used it while working by himself on one person projects. Kinda worried...2
-
Story time!
I moved from React Dev to fullstack like halve a year ago. Three months ago I became project lead and now I will start to become a team lead.
Holy shit I'm growing fast2 -
Team lead comes into meeting late then asks if I'm good to present slides I haven't seen before.
No I am not2 -
FINALLY FINISHED THE THING I WAS WORKING ON SINCE LAST MARCH!!! THIS HAS PISSED ME OFF SO MUCH!!! TEARS WERE SHED!!!FEELINGS HURT!!! BUT IT'S DONE!!! I AM NEVER TRANSLATING SOMETHING FROM C++ TO C# AGAIN!!!
-
Git pre-commit check means that only team lead can merge to master. Team lead is also pulled in meetings all day everyday and so never has time to merge...1
-
What you would do in a situation where your manager tells you to do "A" and your team lead tells you to do "B".
A and B are solutions to the same problem that we are trying to solve. Lead says the manager is wrong and Manager says they are correct.8 -
Boss wants me to become lead developer on a huge project; I still consider myself Junior and feel like there is still more for me to learn before I can even accept something like this. The company is amazing and I would love to step into this role but I fear that I will only disappoint.
What would you do? If I should take it; could you recommend resources that would help me level up?8 -
Picture a small product team, the dev side of it has 1 tech lead, 1 recently promoted senior dev, 1 junior dev.
1 - Offer your tech lead a severance package
2 - Hire a mid-level and a junior dev
3 - Give the product lead role to someone in their mid-20s that has no tech or project management background
4 - ???
The next 6 months are going to be interesting ones...4 -
I need some advice here... This will be a long one, please bear with me.
First, some background:
I'm a senior level developer working in a company that primarily doesn't produce software like most fast paced companies. Lots of legacy code, old processes, etc. It's very slow and bureaucratic to say the least, and much of the management and lead engineering talent subscribes to the very old school way of managing projects (commit up front, fixed budget, deliver or else...), but they let us use agile to run our team, so long as we meet our commitments (!!). We are also largely populated by people who aren't really software engineers but who do software work, so being one myself I'm actually a fish out of water... Our lead engineer is one of these people who doesn't understand software engineering and is very types when it comes to managing a project.
That being said, we have this project we've been working for a while and we've been churning on it for the better part of two years - with multiple changes in mediocre contribution to development along the way (mainly due to development talent being hard to secure from other projects). The application hasn't really been given the chance to have its core architecture developed to be really robust and elegant, in favor of "just making things work" in order to satisfy fake deliverables to give the customer.
This has led us to have to settle for a rickety architecture and sloppy technical debt that we can't take the time to properly fix because it doesn't (in the mind of the lead engineer - who isn't a software engineer mind you) deliver visible value. He's constantly changing his mind on what he wants to see working and functional, he zones out during sprint planning, tries to work stories not on the sprint backlog on the side, and doesn't let our product owner do her job. He's holding us to commitments we made in January and he's not listening when the team says we don't think we can deliver on what's left by the end of the year. He thinks it's reasonable to expect us to deliver and he's brushing us off.
We have a functional product now, but it's not very useful yet and still has some usability issues. It's still missing features, which we're being put under pressure to get implemented (even half-assed) by the end of the year.
TL;DR
Should I stand up for what I know is the right way to write software and push for something more stable sometime next year or settle for a "patch job" that we *might* deliver that will most definitely be buggy and be harder to maintain going forward? I feel like I'm fighting an uphill battle in trying to write good quality code in lieu of faster results and I just can't get behind settling for crap just because.9 -
Don't you hate it when your team lead sucks and you know more about management and development than he does?5
-
I told my lead, "I am creating a new Algorithm" instead of "I am trying to fix this", and instantly I am a programming wizard :D :D :D6
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Boss yelled at lead mobile dev for low productivity because the project manager present him wrong timetables and added accidentally one more week of work.
Next day boss yelled at the lead mobile dev cause the back end wasnt working well.
Project manager and lead back end developer enjoy life! Front is hell :P5 -
Finished writing a microservice in NodeJS. Wrote tests, had clever optimisations, did profiling, the works. Lead dev says to me on a Friday evening to port my code to Java in 2 days. (Reason: to standardize everything) #FML3
-
Fuck this. I can't spend half my day stepping around your ego, even if you are the so called lead frontend. It's time for a chat with hr.1
-
was hired as "Lead developer" of a growing team for an advertising agency. it turned out to be 80% updating contents at some joomla sites4
-
Lead-Dev: "These links don't work as they should, I'm having you fix them, 'kay?"
Me: "I'll have a look."
> The link doesn't do anything when you click on it.
My internal monologue: (The href is probably just wrong)
> It's not wrong.
Me: "What the fuck?"
Lead-Dev: "Can you fix it?"
Me: "I don't think I can."
Lead-Dev: "Why don't you try looking in thisScript.js?"
Me: "Oh, you think the click event got prevented or something?"
Lead-Dev: "No, I think something went wrong with what that script is doing with the jQuery library this site uses."
Me: "..."
Lead-Dev: "..."
Me: "jQuery... library...?"3 -
The frustration that comes to each developer when he tries to write the code structured by thinking through each situations, and your team lead comes and tells you why r you doing so much validations just hard code them we need to release it today client is waiting. After 3-4 months the same team lead goes through the code and shouts at you telling why the he'll you hard coded all these, can't you write the code correctly by thinking through.
3 -
"Execuse me, this specification is not clear in a whole lot of points. Can you please go over it and clarify things?"
"Nope. Just interpret it intelligently." -
The `sed` command skills of my senior dev (team lead) is equal to every skill I (junior dev) have ever acquired until now as a programmer.
Just amazing !1 -
I changed my job, after 7 years at the same company going from dev to senior to lead, I'm now moving into a new role as a lead..... Thats scary.
All the experience in the world doesn't ease that imposter syndrome2 -
Me: *suggests an architectural input to something that would have taken care of a lot of shit in our project*
Lead Dev: *doesn't completely try to understand what I suggested* I don't know if this would work, it seems a "bit weird"(really?). I think we need to rethink our current architecture. *Moves on to redesign everything from the base up and asks us to adopt so we go on and delete a lot of the existing code and basically rewrite everything*
- 10 days later
Lead Dev: *sees the same old issues with using the new architecture and suggests the same approach that I had suggested earlier, only this time he came up with it and it's a brand new idea*
Me: WTF! *Screams into oblivion*2 -
Being a team lead is watching your members grow more and more while you stay out of date because you don’t have any more time to read and learn what’s new3
-
Being a team leader some times sucks have to take responsibility for everyone's elses functionality that doesn't work or wasn't tested in production. Leads often ends up working overtime fixing everyone elses work :(1
-
Pressed update and shutdown which lead to a BSOD
And now the windows won't boot.
Well played windows1 -
Teacher in college:"Comment EVERYTHING"
Lead dev doing my pull request:"Why is there a comment in your commit!?"4 -
When you post an opening for a junior developer, and the only resume you get is a "Senior Developer with Team Lead Experience" you interview them anyway...
When that interview reveals their resume is fiction, and they're very junior.
1 -
The client wants the booking project to be all in JS Framework (not specifying any) and NO PHP since client hates PHP (and I don't know why) from the very beginning when the only dev was my former front-end partner (lead dev).
I was wondering why the client still continued the project, YET the file extensions were still on PHP. I asked the lead dev what happened and answered he didn't know know how to start migrating to JS framework and just started NATIVE PHP.
Still, as being a good dev and a supporter to lead dev, did accept and the project as lead dev's assistant. Fixed bugs, enhancement and responsive (DEMMIT, I FREAKING HATE RESPONSIVE) and later complained why am I doing front-end tasks, when it's not my task, supposedly. I EXPECTED MORE ON BACK-END TASKS!
(HERE'S THE EPIC ADVISE GOES AND CALLED OURSELVES MASTER)
Me: Master, why did you not started the project in JS Framework instead of native php?
Lead Dev : You know what master, this project has been already done if the client allows US to use WordPress for this project will still be migrated to JS. And now, WE are trapped to make every window size be responsive since there are already a standard for each window screen.
Me: (DO NOT INCLUDE ME IN YOUR FUCKING SORCERY! I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU DID THERE AND WHY D'YOU ACCEPT THIS PROJECT, SLAVE, WHEN YOU ALREADY KNOW YOU DO NOT KNOW HOW TO DO IT, IN THE FIRST PLACE. STOP BEING A DICKHEAD AND DO NOT WASTE CLIENT'S MONEY AND EFFORT FOR YOUR USELESS BUNCH OF SHIT!) Indeed, responsive is a such a pain in the arse.
Lead Dev: Maybe, let's just finish our tasks first and wait the project to be migrated to JS.
P.S. The project manager and client asked me if I do know how to migrate the project from native PHP to JS framework and sabotaged lead dev. OFCOURSE, YES! But, I did not respond that quickly, unless eerm, you know, I earn greater than lead dev. Truth be told and practically speaking, it's really unfair for me if I accept the back-job when the lead dev delivers inaccurate deliverables and earned greater than me. No way, Jose!
Now, I am not working with him because I'm super done with him and later did I know, lead dev is looking for Drupal dev to be working for the booking project. -
client: can you change the layout again
dev: I can but it will look shit
sometimes our lead dev just says what we're all feeling2 -
New on HS Robotics team (we went to worlds last year —> we’re good). I come from France.
The lead programmer say that we are gonna stop coding the robot in Java and start C++ this year, so naturally I’m excited!
Lead programmer just told us we’re actually staying with Java... fuck.4 -
ever been rushed to the hospital and suddenly your team lead calls you and asks if you can fix a bug? that happened to me.1
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Consulting/contracting for a company, and their lead developer/ops guy quits without warning. This leaves me as the only one with the somewhat technical know how but without access to do anything to move any changes to production....4
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So according to my manager its not really acceptable for me to sit at my desk and vent about what a colossal idiot my Tech Lead is. Fair enough i suppose. even though he feels the need to chime in on every technical decision when he himself doesnt understand how async code works. he thinks you can set a variable inside a promise and then return that variable outside the promise, because its after the call. This guy is a senior software engineer on an iOS team and I, a trainee, have more iOS experience than him.2
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The feeling when your scrum master or lead ask you run the automated tests against the application though they know the application is down or not working.
1 -
Is it bad that I put on tshirts and have un-kept hair even at client briefs?, I am not the lead developer3
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I’m starting to flat out not trust my team. Every single time I delegate a task it comes back with massive bugs and features missing.5
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lead dev: hey, I just committed but can't push
me: you need to add a remote repository, you don't have any yet
lead dev: what you mean by remote? 😕😕😕
me: explain what "push" does.
lead dev: ( with didn't get it expression ) hum...
me: (I think I'm in the wrong place) 😐😐😐😐 -
My boss noticed how hungry one of his employees when he asked all the new employees how they were doing and my Tech Lead replied "Spaghetti"
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Sure I'll be the sole developer on this Facebook equivalent app whilst also being the lead dev on 3 others!
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Week 3:
Lead developer has not noticed his Favio Lanzoni and My Little Pony wallpapers.
Git gus scrub1 -
Coworker and dev lead had a discussion about newsletter implementation last friday.
I told them, i’ve tried the setup before, it’s not gonna work, it’s behind an ip-block and they need a backend person.
Lead was convinced it was possible and started drawing stuff.
End result: wasn’t possible.
People really need to start listening around here... -
I do not think that GoTo is bad. It can lead to hellish code but if you don't misuse it - it can be extremely useful.6
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When you're trying to climb the commit leaderboard and the lead developeor squishes all the commits in your pull request into one :<4
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Do you get informed about the reasons behind business decisions in your job?
That wasn't the case in my last job and I dreaded my code for that reason.
I think this kind of lack of information can lead to bad engineering decisions and unstructured code. Also, this doesn't lead to the needed ownership of your work.
What do you think?3 -
!rant
"Are you okay if I put you as the capability building lead for mobility?"
OMG! A lead role for the whole mobility.
Even if it's possibly an interim, this is overwhelming. Anyway I suggested 2-3 others to be my co-leads so that we can have collaborative efforts to meet the responsibilities.2 -
I've spent some days converting paddings on wrappers into margins for it's children, because our lead designer was a pure genius 🙋♂️🤦♂️1
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That feeling when you open link that's supposed to lead to the index of documentation and you find this...
The rest was.. unfinished..
#fml
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My first rant in ages:
Been assigned to a new Laravel project at work and the murthafucking lead dev got no fucking clue how to architect a big laravel app. Lead dev talking trash about encapsulation and every big oop grammar he can find while asking us to come up with an architecture concept for the app.
My annoyance is, the fecking project been in planning for like 7 months and d lead dev keeps saying he is looking for ideas on how we will build the app. Fuck this shit!1 -
this really happened:
Interface Team Lead: "hey I want any time deployments and better QA"
Me: "ok sure. I have CI/CD, but yiu need to work in feature branches / tags, and make sure your code passes automated builds and unit tests"
Team Lead: "I dont have time to test it makes me unproductive! and creating a branch is an extra step which is going to set me back. Im telling the boss you are impacting performance!"
Me: "you want better deployments and QA, but you can even create a branch or tes your work?"
Team Lead: "We have deadlines!" -
What i thought to be a cool company, turned out to be a shitshow.
Our "Team Lead" when assigning tasks keeps saying things like "it's only..." or "It's just..." or "You only need to change one line [there]..." And that's in regard to a terrible product with a pile of tech debt. So when you actually start to develop/fix things, you end up redoing third of the whole application.
How do you deal with this? How do you tell the "leader" that he should look into what we have in a code before making us all look bad for doing "just this one line change"?3 -
Yay today my power extender broke!
(the thing that allows you to connect multiple devices to one sockiet, i dont remember the correct term)
That means i need to buy the new one! Because the old one is using rivots it means i cant repair it!
Stupic fucking lead free solder! Why do you even use this shit for connections? It will create those tin wiskers (small wires) that will short shit! This is the reason why my 3 old power extenders failed! And it is propably the reason why it failed as well!1 -
When your teams lead developer still uses unsecured FTP to deploy websites, does not use git or svn and would rather build their own cms than use an off the shelf product.. I can't help but learn bad practice's as a junior!2
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I love when my lead decides that we need to do "proper" agile after he got talked to by his boss for not running the team the right way.
Even after being talked to, he still hasn't closed out the last sprint, and we are now four days into the current one without any assigned tasks, and he hasn't been in the office the entire week.
I love my job <3 -
So, I'm on holiday for a week from Friday. Woo! The plan is to head to a cottage in the middle of nowhere with the wife and the dog and chill the fuck out for a while.
Just found out from my boss that, due to some fucking colossal mismanagement, I have to support a huge release for an architecture rebuild project from 10pm til 8am on Sunday night. While I'm on holiday. In the middle of nowhere.
FML3 -
My team lead thinks using a double Not operator in javascript is too confusing and not readable.
Opinions?29 -
My Technical lead always asks one question to new interviewing candidates. "Write a SQL query to find the second highest salary from employee salary table". It's the same question which he faced in one interview and he didn't have answered it.
Sorry for my bad English..3 -
when you work in a start up, and they give you the projects lead old chair, which has broken. doesn't go up or down, doesn't lock, and is ripped in several places.
I'm really feeling the love. hello sore back... -
What if the reviewer gives you bad reviews that lead to bad code, and you can't defend because he couldn't understand the shit you're talking about?3
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Fucking project lead!!! I was told to make a configuration script i have no experience in scripting yet he expects me to deliver it the following day!!!3
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I'm currently working as a full stack web developer.
Now to my situation. Me and my team partner are part of a bigger dev department. My department lead now wants to split his responsibility into smaller groups. All groups get a new lead out of the group of devs except mine... No let's put together web and hardware development. It's not like I already coordinate all web and app related stuff. But hey let's hire a new guy for this... Hopefully someone with the same knowledge of the web as my current lead... Like none... -
In interview tests I don't mind you testing for me to know something. However I don't care for tests that are designed to verify the lead is smarter.1
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Project Lead: The DevOps department just got a GitLab instance installed on our internal network. We're gradually going to move all our projects onto it and move away from BitBucket and Jenkins really soon.
Me: Awesome!
Project Lead: We're still using JIRA and Confluence for issue tracking and documentation though because the higher ups said so.
Me:
2 -
First rant here...
Hand full of devs have to create a huge web platform that can shovel a lot of data around in about two months which is impossible...
Project lead has left major decisions in the hands of interns like database we want to use because no question can.be answered by that person. Inexperienced intern has chosen a fucking nosql database for highly relational datasets... why? Because new tech...
Development began and a bunch of problems arised... database was accessable from internet from day one. Random crashes because out of memory exceptions. Every possible feature had a description of at most 10 words... and no standards where enforced on anything.
Now that finaaaally we switch to sql after almost a year of prototypical production everybody keeps coding on new features so i have to port all the crap to the new database...
best part: a bunch of clients on different op systems have to be ported as well!
Even better part: i have to do that cause everybody else has practically no experience in any field...
And now the joke: i got hired for gui/desktop application development
Am i a wizard now?1 -
Kids: I'll tell mom, she'll scold you.
Adults: Looping in my team lead in mail chain
Source: Twitter1 -
I was hired as a team lead. I'd only managed small online teams before but now it's an office job. Any books and articles on technical team leading you may suggest?5
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Leave a "I will see you like a php team lead in five years" (CEO words) job and be a co-founder for a startup.
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ignoring a broken unit test suite. although ive just convinced the tech lead to let is look into getting it working again.1
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nothing like building a lead generation site in the advertising sector and then running a test through the site with an addblocker turned on.
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deploying the apps in production...
Devs: i'm confident enough that i can do this. Docker? wtf, i know how to do it.
after successfully deploy in production, 30 minutes later...
Devs: Hey, team lead. I can't access the DB, why?
Team Lead: what? why? what did you do?
Devs: I just successfully deploy in production using the tutum interface deploy button.
Team Lead: Did you uncheck to deploy the DB again?
Devs: Thinking.... hmmmmm No?
Team Lead: Opppsss, that's good. We can't eat our lunch until we fix it. We need to deploy the db back-up again.
Devs: Did I delete the db?
Team Lead: No? probably not you? LOL's
Devs: But who?
Team Lead: It's tutum but it's your mistake to unchecked to redeploy the db before you deploy the apps :D
DevOps / Software Engineer => IT -
Fixing a bug under Drupal 8 has a bright and an other bad side
The bad sight is that you slowly get insane trying to fix a bug.
The bright side is that you get to see the lead the lead dev, who assigned you this bug, to get insane too 😁 -
My Frontend team lead came to me today to show me some "amazing" React component he wrote.
It was a pile of overengineered shit. -
Me: finally we have automated deployment to production
Team Lead: No production deployment still requires manual approval
Me: ok how do you want to handle it slack, webhook, what do you suggest
Team Lead: let's do a proof of concept (POC) for this
Me: Ahh... Poc for this ?
Team Lead: you don't know sh*t ?
Me: well I know you're are creating that here
Next day team change... -
Managing a small team - poorly.
I was in charge of testing a legacy calculations engine together with two scientists, for whom I set up a python and interop environment so they could test the engine easily.
The two were very excited at the thought of validating the calculations and in fact found many bugs.
I was very supportive, told them to fix the bugs and gave them a pet on the back.
All three of us were happy the legacy engine is shaping up, that's until my boss heard of it, and boy did he grill me hard for it.
Turns out our efforts were highly unappreciated by the client, whose only request was that we test the engine and report the bugs. Not to fix them. My goodwill cost the company a lot of money, since the client paid by the hour, and was now due a refund. Crap.
It took me a year to finally understood the moral of the story. Which is to always respect the client's wishes and convey maximum transparency to him. -
Been put on a personal action plan because I'm not finishing my work fast enough. Work that the team lead dumped on me because he claims to have no time for it. But -I- am going to have my bonus pulled by the boss if I don't finish it by the end of the month. This is ridiculously unfair. Good thing I got a job interview next week at another company. Sooner I get out of here the better. I'm so angry over this unfair bullshit.
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I fucking hate Richard Hendricks. That long nose jack off is not qualified to lead a retarded child to the loo let alone heading a company!2
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Did an awesome interview for a fullstack job at a cool conpany. Hr, lead front and lead back seemed on a werge of kissing me. Told me they want to do a one-day trial and to wait for further instructions... Have been waiting for two weeks now :(1
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Co developer jumps to take the lead on our new project. Already overloaded and claims about her work load
I on the other hand just finished all my projects, guess I'll just sit back and wait.4 -
Wow! My rights to merge work is just revoked. This is fucking bullshit. Whenever i want to merge my work the project lead has to do it. And when he’s sick ill have to go to the fe lead, who is in meetings 24/7. Fucking great2
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One of our vendors sent a sample implementation in a .asp file.
My lead tried to plug that into our Java stack. 🙄1 -
So ive been on this project for months. Project lead did not have a role anymore and now they decide this other guy is the new project lead. This while i am the one having to deploy everything and answer questions from mr Free Lance.
Holy crap i gotta find myself a new job, these people are going nuts. -
A contractor that came in and changed all our Google tagging after the lead told him not to, he got matched out soon after.
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Is it just i have bad luck or do all developers by the time they get to lead just stop caring?
my leads always seem to be the least team-focused members of the group.2 -
Been a team lead for a few years now but it seems that my job now seems to be chasing team members for estimates and deadlines 😡
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Tech lead: so for this sprint, please implement this HTML page in Angular
Me: do we know what kind of Angular table we are using yet?
Tech Lead: just use the Angular UI one
Me: do we know if that supports drag and drop and custom filters?
Tech Lead: that's not needed for this page
Me: yeah but like 5 other pages of this web app does
Tech Lead: so? We will find a different table then.
Me: but they will look and feel very different and it will be totally obvious that it's patchwork, and we will need to rewrite this page you want me to write now...
Tech Lead: so what if they look completely different. Stop thinking about future sprints. can you have it done next week?
Me: ummmm.....
... this is going to be a fun project. Oh, not to mention I'm only supposed to work on it for 20% of my time....1 -
Just use a promise that sets this variable, and then you can use the variable as long as its after the promise declaration.
No, just no. Thats not now asynchronous code works.2 -
Lead told me to design a database.
When finished asks me to take a look at the old, poorly designed database and make changes to the new one.
I mean, what's the point in that?5 -
Being a project lead would be fun I thought... boi I was wrong!!
It's still early on but I will be a project lead in the next 6 months or so... and I'm running this project for a few months and taking over a couple of tasks from the actual project lead but now he's on holiday and everyone is looking at me!
I need to get used to this...2 -
Quote of the day:
"U think that's scary you should see the shelve sets belonging to the team lead,
Its like Stephen Kings's IT,
except this version, the clown writes horrendous code instead of scaring the shit out of you" -
For compsci/related university students
- work on personal projects, and don't forget that connections made while at university can quickly lead to job opportunities -
Oh what a wonderful life we lead, when first we code, debug and repeat.
(Before you ask me: it's an original btw)2 -
If you ever get tasked with something you don't know how to do, know that it is never your fault. The management, team lead or HR screwed up.1
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You got to love when a systems engineer gets promoted to the systems lead and he gets fucking uppity.
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The development team I lead. They don’t find it as funny when I comment “Now watch me Na Na” after their “wip’s”
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That moment when you're not the IT lead on a project and your leader goes and blows the project off and you have to take over. FML!1
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In a few weeks, we’re going to launch our ICO with a working MVP. As the lead developer for this, I’m nervous as to how people will scrutinize my work.1
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yesterday i tried prayer to remove the bug, after 10 hours i was lead to the path which solved it
might your time 😁1 -
I used to lead a team of several devs. Then we learned the boss was using the company as his personal piggy bank. Now I lead a team of 1.4
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Tech lead on three projects last year, a Java hard client, a WDF driver, and the front/backend of a NodeJS app.
I'm sick of jumping across all these paradigms and technologies.
Does anyone else have to deal with this.1 -
R&D Lead Architect: "We want this next gen platform to be all AWS."
Us: "Alright, can we talk about automated testing?"
R&D Lead Architect: "Sure, for automated tests you'll want to just dump events from your system into a flat file on S3. It's readable with Microsoft Excel."
Us now: still here.
R&D Lead Architect now: not here.
:) -
Today I told someone of my team that the changes they made on the backend a few weeks ago fucked up the frontend because they stopped sending some json, he told me no no the frontend must be wrong.
that part of the frontend hasn't been touched in months. I showed him on the browser how the response didn't contain json, headers where correct, etc etc, he told me he didn't trust that(the browser network tab) and that in postman it works, and I should debug it... fuck me.. I went through his java code(which is not my strong fort) for like 3 hours to show him that he in fact was being a complete asshole, if only I could just ignore him and told him to fuck off but no, since I'm the only frontend in my team and frontend apparently is for idiots then I must be wrong and since the team lead doesn't hear anything I have to say yeah. Fuck me3 -
I hate it when my lead asks me whats my involvement to my co-workers project when in fact, i'm just answering questions that should have been handled by my lead.
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Lead: I don’t think we need to make the changes you suggested at this time, the code looks good to me.
Me: Sure
Lead: However, I want you to submit my code and address all further comments -
I have been helping out a teammate with a code fix but never wants to try my code solutions, instead he always complaints about it, even if they work and comply with the conventions. (I am his dev lead)2
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Is it too much to ask for a tech lead who knows how to code a web app and knows SQL? We're a SaaS startup btw1
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The Java lead thinks only his team has the secret knowledge of UML, and the authority to use diagrams.
(sigh) we work on JavaScript. -
Me: I want to make all our application directories a separate virtual disk for easy resizeability
Project lead: Why? We have lvm!
I might stab somebody, myself included.6 -
The disaster that happen when you work in a web designing and hosting agency with no technical lead. Everybody is going wild here.... Shoot me please!
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Sooooo....worked at a place (which i think was my first rant on here lol) a little while back where, to keep a long story short, was treated like shit and still managed to pull out some magic for them before i left my contract (cos work pride).
Come to new company, it is a consultancy company. The project I worked on at the previous company, they had came (while i was there, i went to the meeting) and done some requirements analysis for them (that weren't even relevant, mostly because the CIO was a tard).
Come to find out today, through the grapevine, that these lot have been claiming that they done more than requirements and actually implemented the full solution and even wrote a case study about the shit they weren't involved in. "Oh look at this GDPR project we completed for this £400M turnover company and all the problems we solved".
More hurtful cos this project I done with no help from anyone, got moaned at every day, got my references threatened, wouldn't let me work from home but anyone else could. Serious, a lesser man would have punched the CIO....repeatedly.
What would you do? I'm getting sick of fighting in every job but also getting sick of never getting any credit for the shit I've done. -
Office monopoly..Team lead intentionally causing problems..Left the job @mnc. Thank fully happily placed now
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I think I might become a project manager or a BA. No one ever considers asking them to code. If you're the dev lead though...2
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My lead developer requires object sorting, so {url, extraParams = { id = '1', hobby = 'code' }} HAVE TO be {extraParams = {hobby = 'code', id = '1'}, url}. Is that normal?4
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Team Lead: What shall we use for our next project, Angular or Vue?
***People started voting***
Someone from behind: How about ExtJS. -
Team Lead (not my team, thankfully) sends outs a team-wide message (in their exact words):
"please DM me with the task link if you are adding any new tasks in Jira. This is to make sure that i am aware of any ad-hoc task coming up in the jira queue and also to make sure that all the task are following a common template."
Interpretation : "I'm just too lazy to look at each jira issue after the last one that I followed up on (which is my job BTW). So I'll add some extra work for you to explain everything to me on DM"
Way to go for killing productivity. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Thankfully, this is not my team. If they were my team lead, I'd be super furious. I'd even report it to upper management. I'd even offer to do their job and let them do mine. I think their job just got so easy if everyone was to go report to him like that.3 -
Having to sit through a debate between my lead and boss about how to implement something trivial like front end validation in a non-public facing part of our system. Or worse, working on something as per my lead's instructions only to have my boss tell me its all fucking wrong and to start over.
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Tech Lead: I looked at their API code, their devs are so smart. They wrote the whole thing in three lines.
Me: I bet it's super readable!
Tech lead: that doesn't matter they are really smart.
Me: I'm sure they are ... 😒1 -
put on headphones, turn up volume to max and play some hardcore music and let myself dig so write random code w/e without thinking what and why. after some time usually I have lead to the solution.
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Looking for some resources to advance my android knowledge, I'm already an android developer but want to learn more I.e to become a lead etc2
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Feeling stupid as fuck in a group programming with our lead engineer (and Im the one driving). Tell me Im not useless :(1
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Lead developer tells me to hang tight while he works on an issue and investigates.
PM tells me to make more cards for this section and fix it while the lead developer works on the same exact part.
So... I guess I'll go take a 2 hour lunch?1 -
Not quite sure I followed the logic of the tech lead when he explained. I've never felt this "idk wtf in coding" feeling before.
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Has anyone ever had a lead developer interview you, and then be so much more nervous than the person they're interviewing? I feel like I've had this happen to me way to often.
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This Pub in Budapest would make a good place for a Meetup.
May the pointers to the beverage never lead to null.
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Kinda want to start learning hardware (Arduino, RasberryPi etc), any tips?
How it works programming languages and stuff, anyone who can lead me on into it2 -
How do I deal with a lead who was hired to lead a predominantly backend team when he's just an average frontend dev. He's so afraid to try new tech and so reluctant to learn. Plus most of the junior developers are better than him. He even tries to shift the blame on other devs. It's so hard to deal with the guy. Our old lead was so much better the guy was a really bad hire zzzzz.1
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