So true

My name was Quiet Array -- I showed it, printed on my ID card, to some waitress. She asked for my hand in holy matrimony, and we got married by a soda dispenser. Immediately went our separate ways. I fiddled around with some runes on my galaxy-sized stash and invented a new way to sodomize demons, but the arcane secrets got lost in translation.

Then I woke up, and my first thought was: "shit, what a cheap-ass discount kiki dream".

I’m making a cut-down version of scratch for a personal project and I just fucking had to write a linker for it.

I fucking… it’s… a flowchart language… and to avoid a hash-table lookup of function identifier to underlying logic.. I wrote a linker.

It’s like, maybe 10 total lines. So not a real linker. But still. Just a bit crazy.

To anyone I offended this year:

Work on yourself so I don't gotta do it again in 2025.

Frustrated that my build system wasn't recognizing a file change I added to my code. It kept telling me that a function didn't exist in the linked object (linker error). I checked everything and stared at this shit for about 15 minutes or more. The signature matched, the function existed, the relevant source files existed. I was starting to imagine impossible scenarios. I cleaned the project and recompiled. No errors, everything linked just fine. Fuck you? I guess...

So I decided to needed to walk around so I went into my bosses office.

me: I don't want to program anymore.
boss: What do you want to do?
me: Shovel shit.
boss: They are the same thing.
me: True...

TLDR: Tool and possibly skill issue results in frustration and humor.

"We need smaller deliverables so that we can validate each iteration with the client! Instead of doing the whole batch, let's try a minimum viable unit of work first!"
And then the cook made a single unit of French fries. Like, a single stick. It took about 10 minutes, or about 95% of the time it would take to fry a whole portion.

Anytime I see a reference to Elder Scrolls VI on reddit I do a "RemindMe! 5 years".

I also am predicting it will be absolute shit.

Modern technology is absolutely bullshit

I can't even

Now my keyboard on my phone is even too broken to complain about it

I wanted to look at someone's post history on a forum

To do so the forum wants an account. Ok. So I gave it my old junk Hotmail account during sign up for it to send me an email confirm so I can make the account so I can search. Well I'm refreshing this account for this confirm account email through the Gmail app on my phone because who even checks emails on computers anymore

Turns out, aside from this Hotmail spam email account having a lot of junk emails (it is my junk email account), there's this little pop-up that happens SOMETIMES claiming that it can't sync. I checked inbox and spam and the email isn't in there. So 1 out of 10 times I refresh there's this little "cannot sync" message that pops up and I click it. It claims my storage on my phone is too full to sync. Ok.

So I go try to find storage through the settings in my phone. It doesn't exist as a category anymore apparently. Thankfully phones have a search feature now -- because we can't have sane settings anymore so here's a search feature. First result it gives me is just device info. That's useless. It's just the hardware specs for my phone

Second it shows storage. 90% full apparently. That's odd. I have 132 gb. Thankfully it subdivided it by what's taking up space but it doesn't make much sense and a bunch of the categories don't open to anything

Apparently the fucking android operating system is 32 GB now? Well you're fucked if you wanna remove that. Apparently years of photos and videos is 20 gb, I can back those up and delete them. Similarly I have downloads in folders, and that's about 20 gb

Why are there 20 GB of apps? I literally have no apps!

Part of apps? Wtf is Gboard and why is it a gig

Why is my WEATHER APP using a gig of storage?

And none of the apps can I remove the storage they're using. The cache is like 600kb, and I can delete all data and it's using like 60 MB. So the fucking weather app executable itself is a gig of space? Wtf?

I deleted the data for Gboard and turns out that's the keyboard. So now all my keyboard settings are fucked.

Thankfully I wrote syncing scripts ages ago to sync various folders from my phone to my external HDD. I just had to connect it to the laptop and run the script on the external HDD. Problem? Well turns out no matter what I do I can't get the laptop to connect to the phone if it's USB file transfer mode. I can do photos. But this is gonna be more than photos.

So I do my sync backup script from the laptop to the external HDD. This will sync the camera, since I have sync thing sync my laptop and phone all the time, so I can just sync the laptop to the external HDD and then delete the older photos and get 20gb. Quick fix for now

Why do I need this quick fix?
Well
Get this
I've been having issues with my Gmail client for ages. It just won't display new email notifications which is really annoying because I need to know when emails get sent to me.
Now I'm thinking, maybe I can de-sync older emails and have more storage space maybe? But that's not an option anywhere. Actually, I can't even unconnect an email address from my phone. Gmail doesn't even let you do that

What the flying fuck is the state of modern technology

Now I have to go figure out what my fucking settings were for my stupid phone keyboard

The 90s were much fucking saner than this garbage. I don't need a 32 GB operating system on a phone. Is this fucking windows 8? And let me fucking tell YOU how many fucking emails you should sync to my phone. Holy shit what the fuck is all this

At least my Linux scripts fucking work like I wrote them

i fucking hate trying to debug microservice certs

So I have been setting goals for my interaction with people on devrant. I had the goal of getting someone to spray liquid out of their mouth in response to something I posted. I believe I had one person self report on this (maybe two). My next goal was getting someone to shit their pants in response to a post. I figured with @b2plane here my chances were a lot higher. As of Nov, 2024 nobody has reported on this. That goal still stands.

Maybe some new goals for this next upcoming year should be:
1. get someone to rage quit (not sure this in a good goal)
2. get someone to "dad splain" to me
3. triggered downvotes (I have had some in the past, so this is a recurring goal)
4. inspire anti-posts (some of you are natural inspirers it seems, respect)
5. actually create funny memes (maybe not possible, shitposting will continue though)

Does anyone have ideas for some good edge lording goals?

95% of "in person" training courses for software developers are shit, change my mind if you can.

Ads are intentionally produced litter.

People say "Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity."

However, I think companies can and will create anxiety in a product to get you to buy something else, or something more expensive. This would fit with planned obsolescence. You need to update to Windows 11 because Windows 10 will not have support of updates. Fear the viruses!!!

Also, perhaps companies are purposely hiring incompetent people to head up products? So malicious incompetence?

I think the enshitification of tech is on purpose for various reasons. One of them being to create anxiety in people so they accept shittier solutions for all facets of life. Not just tech solutions.

A tech example of this is searches. They want you using AI. What is the end game goal of AI? Is it easier to hide bias?

Why do I program everything myself in C, even a rest service? By writing everything yourself in C you make simple things complex to make complex things simple.

Writing a rest service for example learns you a part of http protocol, how sockets work, how to create a parser (in this case json). Three thing's you would miss if I used python.

On top, your rest service uses WAY lesser resource than written in python for example. Especially for CPU usage.

Allocating and free-ing still often have issues there, but I consider it a skill problem / discipline issue. Not blaming C for that. The rules are clear.

I've recently learned how committing of the Save Data to file works in my project.

The file is updated w/ _each change_ made to the settings.

Worse yet - the file is updated even when _no actual change_ is made due to the setting already being at its highest / lowest value possible.
/*
e.g. 5 is maximum sound volume.
- You try increasing the sound volume.
- Setting can't get any higher, so remains unchanged.
- *Update the Save Data*.
*/

What kind of abusive masochist would do that?

// Yes... there's always blame.

I got a song that I like a lot but it's made by a kid for kids. Therefor, youtube doesn't let you add it to a playlist since it's "Kid content". When I saw that message, I've felt treated like a freaking pedo. What the hell do those fuckers think about the general population? Who is evil, sees evil. And like if this is a solution to anything. You can just bookmark it in your browser.

Sick shit, how negative can you be YouTube. Judgemental fuckers

So I have this dude I work with that I will call Jim. When I take a walk at 3pm I will often see Jim outside on his phone. I have started making "pssst" sound every time I see Jim. Many times I have snuck up on Jim and made the "pssst" sound and scared the crap out of him. He in-kind tries to scare me. He is not very good at it. I realized today I may be creating a Pavlov response in Jim to the "pssst" sound. He always makes the "pssst" sound back at me. He "has" to make the "pssst" sound when I do it. I think in addition he may be getting the conditioned response of being scared to the "pssst" sound.

TLDR; I love scaring the "pssst" out of Jim.

I try to pay attention to my moods. So when I have strong feelings I will tell my wife about them. I was talking to her on the phone on the way home.

me: It is the horny time of the month.
her: Oh, okay, thanks.
me: Yeah, it comes and goes...
her: <sigh>

At this point I realized I had made a really dirty dad joke.

me: Oh, that was bad wasn't it?
her: Yeah, it was bad.
me: I have ascended to subconscious dad joke competence.
her: Okay, sure.
me: Was it funny?
her: No.
me: Really?
her: I just like to tell you I think it's not funny.
me: You are trolling me?
her: Yes.
me: Damn it!

My evening: going from 8e-5 seconds to 1.4e-5 seconds.

I'm pretty happy. I'm now 3x faster than the next fastest library available.

how to be a shitty client:
- have a legacy database where column names are misspelled and everything is nullable
- hire external help which instead of helping break the ui (bonus points for breaking the api too)
- demand a very much custom auth logic but decide to use aws cognito for shits and giggles
- demand 1hr daily meetings
- demand biometric auth with 0 knowledge of how biometric auth works (the previous devs just had a face id prompt which does nothing and retrieved email and password saved on the device???)
- message me at 2am because you don't understand how timezones work + demand a build while you're at it
- call me a "heretical pagan" because i took a day off on a holiday you don't celebrate (???)

i could go on but i think this is enough

Had an individual financial advisor worth 7-8 figures and with hundreds of thousands of followers, spontaneously follow me on twitter and start a conversation. He only follows a few hundred others.

Is this what it is like to meet a celebrity?

What does this person even want?

I don't know whether to be annoyed or flattered.
We're in completely different financial classes, and have nothing in common other than being trapped like rats in a cage by our own circumstances.

"Re-org" is the legal method used by companies to merge entities in order to increase workload and fuck you in the butt!

Let me arrogantly brag for a moment, and let us never forget
that I front-ran GPT's o1 development by more than a week, posted
here:
https://devrant.com/rants/11257717/...

And I know what their next big development will be too. I just haven't shared it yet because it blows backpropagation out of the fucking water.

I may not be super competent at anything but I'm a god damn autistic accidental oracle when it comes to knowing what comes next in the industry.

relevant youtube video and screenshot:
https://youtu.be/6xlPJiNpCVw/...

by simply making the bias random on the second input for a two bit binary input during activation calculation, it's possible to train a neural net to calculate the XOR function in one layer.

I know for a fact. I just did it.

This shit is fascinating, especially reading about the variations in function of the various brodmann areas:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/...

My favorite schizo-interpretation of this is "your head is full of bees."

i.e. brodmann area 10, which is thought to be responsible for memory recall strategies (basically an adaptive memory allocator and heap) has about 250 million neurons in a pinprick of a volume.

A bee has about 1 million neurons.

In otherwords: the part of your brain that decides how memory is managed has only the equivalent brainpower of 250 bees, lol.

Obviously a simplification-to-the-level-of-absurdity but it's fun to intentionally interpret something to the level of distortion.

client cto: "SOMEBODY COMPROMISED YOUR KEY!!!! IT SHOWS SOMEBODY LOGGED IN TO DEVOPS GUY'S ACCOUNT USING KALI LINUX!!!!! HERE ARE THE LOGS!!!!"

the logs: *show an ip address*

the ip address: *ip address of the office*

devops guy: *actually uses kali linux*

not really a rant, just found it funny

Deleted over 1'500 lines of code over the last 2 days and replaced it with 80 lines of readable, simple, generic code.

And I'm feeelin' gooood 🎶

Tailwind is what happened when a Perl dev looked at CSS and said “I can fix it!”

Gnome, you are a piece of shit. It has taken 4 people over 3 hours to create a .desktop file to launch a fucking bash script due to varying levels of inexperience.

Die in a fire you flaming putrescent turd.

What the fuck does putrescent even mean?

Devrant iOS app removed from my region's App Store for some reason. Can use the web app but cannot use iOS app. That is kinda unfair. It was there before. :(

What better place to rant about it than at devrant xD