I haven't coded in so long I'm actually starting to miss it

Every damn time I visit the server rooms for tunnel infra, I feel like I just entered the backrooms. Endless winding stairs, rooms that appear out of nowhere, doors galore, labels in ancient hiroglyphs and time travel are very common.

Piratesoftware's "2D Raytracing" code is just shitty radial light diffusion with collision checks. The worst part is he's individually checking each pixel and manually adjusting the lighting pixel by pixel😭 🙏

Does anyone else feel like Piratesoftware's content is just dedicated to people starting out with coding and game dev? Should this piece of shit be the person these newbie devs look up to? What a fucktard. This is the dude who has "DECADES OF INDUSTRY EXPERIENCE" hacking windmills and sending emails like "please let me hack you" in blizzard

I wish dev work was about the tech, the logic, the architecture

but annoyingly it's always about people

I used inline C in perl to write inline assembly.

I deserve death.

Sprint planning, we spot a risk for one of the stories: An old client wants a new feature that relies on a third-party component that has not been included in our integration tests for the last 2 years.

The risk: It's probably not compatible with the new version of our system, if that's true, we'll need to make changes to our system before starting to work on the new feature, and setup integration testing.

Management: - Are you sure it's not compatible anymore?
Me: - No, we would need to bring both systems up and test if they work, there's no automation for that right now.
Mangement: - If you have not checked it's not a risk.
Me: (o_O) ? Whatever, I've warned you.

2 Days later: Our system does not work with this third-party system anymore, we can't finish the feature this sprint.

Management: (☉_☉)

Job hunting and interviewing disgusts me.

I feel like I am in some kind of dating nightmare (and I hate dating). It's really weird trying to sell yourself to some company and they judge you based on how you think, how you talk, how your professional life has been up until now. I also judge them based on my professional values.

It makes me feel really awkward to talk to people trying to sound all calm and professional when I am kind of dying of nihilism inside. Tired of having to get to the stages of interviews where I need to do some idiotic tech assessments that are irrelevant to the job spec. Some were fun though.

Thankfully no AI interviewer fuckery yet, but if I do run into such a thing, I'm gonna pull out and expose the company that does this.

Getting close to final stages with some places which seem decent enough to sell my time to, and salaries are so much higher than what I currently get paid (fuckin peanuts).

I just want to become a mushroom at this point.

B: 'Being in $city is a requirement for the job because it's an 'on-site' job. Salary is x.', * Smiling face. *, 'Nice, huh?'
Me: * Thinking, fine - slightly more than before, but new city, so should probably be the roughly same as before given the $city is more expensive. *
Me: * I invest in the move. Turns out new apartment costs 2x as much as the previous one. No time to look for another one. Fine - I'll be doing what I love, once again - I'll manage until proving my skills. *
* 2 months of probation pass. *
B: 'I'm happy w/ your services. When renewing contract, we'll switch to a different type, though, because (...)' /* Some bullshit - read - he doesn't want to pay the overhead. */
Me: * The move wiped the savings, can't say 'No'. *, 'Fine'.
* 5 months pass. *
B: 'I'll be closing the office due to imminent price spike. We'll move you to WFH. I'm fine w/ you returning to your original home.' /* Read: Salary will remain the same. */,
* My bills rise due to WFH. *,
* Costs of living receive an unwelcome big spike. *,
* Time passes until contract renewal. *
B: 'I value you as an employee. I would like to continue the partnership.'
* Offers no bonuses, no salary bump due to skills, !even cost of living adjustment. *

Ladies, gentlemen - you've just met my boss - no appreciation, because talk is cheap. Also - absolutely no accountability for the office being closed.

If ChatGPT calls my problem a "classic" or it's solution a "subtle quirk of <framework>" one more fuckin time I'm gonna be the first human to murder an AI

Imagine a workplace. A workplace that is planning a local event for tomorrow with deals and a free discount code for those who arrive.
Only thing is: everything is chaos, no one is taking responsibility for the event, no one communicates about changes or how the event is going to be.

Now you get a call off duty. You have to check a discount code that wasn't working. You were to set it up for the event. But apparently they decided to open the doors for the event TODAY. You get a call 5 minutes after the first. "Is it done yet?" NO. Because you have to FIX CODE and deploy changes because they don't have any staging environment, no proper testing environment and (best of all) development mostly connected directly to the production database.

This! This is my job.
I am so fucking mad.

I need courses on how to grow my spine even more and demand what should be fucking law at this point.
Or maybe just leave. I'm the only dev.. 😎

The average meeting: "I think that's a really great idea. Let's circle back on this and take a 60k view, leveraging the low-hanging fruit so we can identify you championed this technology".

Seriously? Championed? As if the other bs language weren't enough. And this is language that they use to convince clients. "My consultant championed A.I.". Are you fucking kidding me? It sounds ridiculous. Needless to say, we lost that client.

Opened a legacy PHP file from 2008.

No functions.
2,000+ lines.
Inline SQL.
HTML inside echo statements.
A single if (true) wrapping the entire thing like some cursed gift box.

At the top:
// Do not modify. Works perfectly.

At the bottom:
It writes to two databases. Only one exists.

Somewhere in the middle:
It sends an email…
to the client’s ex-wife.

I closed the file.
Rebooted my laptop.
Took a walk.
Still not okay.

Just recently discovered fcgiwrap.

It's a huge load off to be able to write a super simple script that can respond to a web request without having to deploy a whole application. I'm toying with the idea I could do that instead of using a whole GUI framework for local applications.

Job search isn't easy.

Not because there aren't any jobs, but because I am afraid of anything that seems remotely like my current toxic workplace.

Fack.

Your tasks are going slowly, let's have a meeting about it

Reading google revies of hospitals is one of my pet peeves. Like it is certainly not an indication to the hospitals quality. As there are mostly people reviewing who had a bad experience. Also a lot of hysterical people who are like: "Walked into the ER with minor headache. Was appalled at the wait time and left. Never going back there again. Worst service everrrr" or "The service woman at the front desk could neither give me a precise diagnosis nor where I had to go to get my second lobotomy."

Ssooo.. Turns out, I'm starting a new project in less than 2 weeks. Gotta go to Dublin for 2 weeks.

Fuck.
I'm not a traveling kind of a person...

Just heard that we don’t have testers anymore. There was already a low test capacity and now it’s full focus on clients and not on software building anymore.
Who needs testers any way right?
We need to just do everything right the first time!

messy backend API. root level payload object has a property that is being repeated in a property that takes an array of objects where this same property exists in each object in this array.

why do people work in a messy manner like this? why pass the same data twice in the exact same request?

(lead architect is smart, but holy fuck is his work a goddamn mess of technical debt and hurts my brain and productivity)

In french the world fish means "poisson". Not to be confused with a "boisson" (beverage), nor with the "poison" (poison).

But you could have fish beverage, which would be a "boisson de poisson". And some fish are poisonous, which would make it "poisson poison". Now let's take some poisonous fish, like some fugu, and turn it into a soup. You get a poisonous fish beverage, so "une boisson de poisson poison".

It also follows the poisson distribution

Work just keeps surprising me and giving me wtf moments. They want me to finish a course in 1/10th of the time that the industry recommends just because they don't have budget for more time. I'm quite pissed off. Now I have to work 700% faster. Let's do this shit. lol

My favorite kind of debugging.

One of my tool is basically a giant table.

I have a new version to push.

8 rows out of 1000000 are different.

I have to find out why

Needle in a haystack. Just great

God, i fucking HATE tech that involves running it through legal!

TIL: nginx conf does not support ' (single quotes) in comments.

2 hours of my day went out the window

Our ex-employee wrote an amazing SQL SELECT-query consisting of 6449 characters. It has 11 JOINS and takes a solid minute to execute.

The table it fetches from has 16 records and the SQL query returns 46857 records and it was production code lmao

I have PTO and time off from overtime which can temporarily go negative.and if it's negative at end of year the rest becomes unpaid time off. Due to special tax fuckery in my country, unpaid time off actually isn't objectively a thing, instead, my company pays tax based on my nominal salary and I have to pay them back with tax

To get out of this, I negotiated a rather special position where I'm registered for 6 hour days for a few months so that I can aggregate a bunch of overtime to be spent as extra unpaid time off that we aren't paying employment tax on for no reason when no work or payment is taking place.

This creates a rather funny loophole, in that my PTO days are worth 6 hours during these months but 8 hours for the rest of the year, whereas overtime and corresponding time off is measured in hours so it's always worth the same.

Naturally, like the strategic genius I am, I started recording all my absence in this period as PTO days without thinking because I wanted to see my time off on a nice universal counter. I realized about an hour ago that I'd been taking PTO at 75% efficiency.

Unless in severe pain, the cat will always enjoy this eternal moment, proud of its existence. Never questioning its needs, desires, likes or dislikes, a cat will never consider evaluating itself. The cat glories in its existence and lives with supreme self esteem. It so values itself that it will never assign a value to itself.

The cat has risen entirely above the need for self esteem through perfect self acceptance beyond the need for self esteem.

you're not allowed to hack computers, you get a felony for that

but hacking human brains is totally fine

Have you ever proposed great ideas to the company, yet they were rejected time after time, only for some half-assed golden favorite boy to steal the show for you with their half-assed idea?

I mean, now I understand that once you've been long enough in the industry, you express a deep, long sigh at least once a day. Plus, it affects your mental health. Not giving a fuck and just working on yourself more and your personal projects is crucial.

If you ever wondered how a lab-rat inside a labirinth might feel like, go and try delete that facebook profile you setup ages ago but still get spam mails from. The whole account deletion process has been engineered to maximize the likelihood of not deleting your data it's actually pretty amazing.