Another member of the team updated the production JSON configuration of the project with a missing comma, this broke a system that's not yet live and where there aren't any real users (only used for demos/testing).

Instead of having a good laugh about how silly this was, the CTO/CEO removed their write access to production..

Me, complaining about being single: It would just be nice to have someone who cares how my day went every day

Scrum master: Hey...

Me: No

QA Tester: titles in table items look like links and are clickable, they should be plain text.

Senior Dev: style={{ color: '#000' }}

This is art.

Can’t beat the classics.

still beats unit tests tho

Manager: Hey software engineer, how's the project going?

Software Engineer: Good, just debugging my code.

Manager: Debugging? What kind of bug are you trying to fix?

Software Engineer: The ones that make my computer turn into a lava lamp.

Manager: Ha ha, very funny. But seriously, how can I help?

Software Engineer: Well, I need a bigger monitor. My current one doesn't have enough real estate to display all the errors.

Manager: How about a second monitor?

Software Engineer: No, I need a bigger universe.

Manager: I'll see what I can do. In the meantime, keep coding. We have a deadline to meet.

Software Engineer: No problem, I have all the time in the world. I just need to find a way to slow down time.

Manager: I wish I had your optimism. Just let me know if you need anything else.

Software Engineer: How about a unicorn? I heard they're good at coding.

Manager: I'll see what I can do, but in the meantime, stick to using a keyboard.

The fastest minigun in service fires 6,000 rounds per minute. If you modify it to fire $100 bills, you will need two of them to match the rate of Elon Musk loosing money.

!rant

**Getting ideas to solve a bug**

While Coding:
🤔

While Eating:
💡

While Sleeping:
💡💡

While in Bathroom:
💡💡💡

the year is 2050
- Linux is written in Rust and called Windows
- Python 2 market share increased by 2% since 2023
- The latest JS framework to finally solve everything just came out, and this time it’s the real deal. The exact same thing also happened in 2045, 2041, 2037, 2035, 2030 and 2026
- More than 60% of every CPU is hardware JS cores
- React became a separate language
- Sentient Copilot refused to write code in it
- Unit tests are illegal in three states
- Google had changed their motto from “Do The Right Thing” to “Do At Least Something”
- Chrome OS was rewritten in JS
- CSS is Turing-complete

I wish you luck 😂

when PHP programmers comment their code

no-code developers will work at no-money jobs

Layoff layoff everywhere finally back on devrant to not see a layoff story.

Indeed

DOS is not “Disk Operating System”. DOS, aka QDOS, is “Quick and Dirty Operating System”. This is real. Google it.
Similarly, Windows CE is not “Compact Embedded”. It's “Chaotic Evil”.

- Cookie warnings
- Autoplay videos
- "It's better on the app!"
- Surprise paywall
- Newsletter popups
- "Sorry, this content is not available in your region!"
- Lazily paraphrasing another website without disclosing the source in an obvious way
- Anti-adblock popups
- "Become a pro-member today: starting at $4.99/month!"
- "Sign up here to get my free e-book! :)"
- "keep reading" button to load the rest of the damn article
- "We have a podcast!"
- ...

I hate the current state of the web.

when someone tells me unit tests are useful and I should start writing them

My Tech Stack - Roast me :D

The meetings where you have to attend the whole thing, but only the few minutes are actually applicable to you.

Let me quietly leave and get back to work.

And you’re here wasting your time on storypoints and unit tests

Why do front end developers like to write their HTML/Component markup like this:

<div
id="test"
class="test"
>
Test
</div>

That lone > bracket absolutely irks me! Looks ugly! I prefer the Android style:

<div
id="test"
class="test">

<span>Test</span>
</div>

👌clean

it sucks!
Fuck asynchronous code because

Bloody shit, I hate all the hypes right now.

Seemingly everyone is going from 0 to zealous hype at the moment...

Be it Musk's fanboys (that arsehole must have a prolapse), the mfucking GPT chatbot or anything else.

Everything's hyped up and noone talks about normal stuff...

... and when you point that out, everyone gets angry for reasons I cannot understand.

We had so many good inventions and progress in science this year (despite the world being pretty apocalyptic....), but seemingly everyone can only talk about either Twitter or their Twitter timeline. -.-

The Christmas bullshitting was hard enough each year, as it has nothing to do with being a festive event and love etc, but being just an commercial bullshit bingo...

But adding all the hypes makes the bullshit parade unbearable.

Dear Santa, please fry all the mobile electronics at Christmas, so we can talk about normal stuff and have a nice evening.

... Would be probably even better to just fry all electronics, even stone age was probably more interesting than the earbleeding conversations at the moment.

Nazgul devs: tested it thoroughly, sir. It's mankind-proof. Safe for unleashing in warfare

QA testers: I'm about to end this wraith's whole career

Yo it's been a while.

Forgot I still had devRant++ and thought it's high time I return :-)

Wonder how many of the oldies are still here

The very first ad banner on the internet, 1994

Been 5 years. Still getting +1s on this.

https://devrant.com/rants/634307/...

I'm proud of a chess project I made in Java, at university. It was awful but worked!
One of the first times I did some code without googling it 😋
PS: I don't code and work in Java!

The client: "I'm trying to export as HTML a few data we collected in 1 month with your software, why does it take so much???"

The length of the generated HTML file for the "few data":