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IF PROGRAMMING LANGUAGES WERE DRUGS:
JavaScript = Methamphetamine:
Anyone can cook some up at home but only pros can make the good stuff without blowing everything up.
Under the influence it tries to do everything at once, in seemingly no specific order before running off and making plenty of promises - but you have no clue if it kept any until it returns.
C = Heroin:
It takes some prep before you can take a hit but when you do it's far more potent than expected. When prepped (compiled) correctly it will induce complete and utter ecstasy but any error or abuse may kill you, leave you on the floor, in a coma or wishing you were dead.
HTML = Paracetamol(Panado):
Some don't think it's a real drug and others do. Either way you should grow a pair and try something a little more hardcore.
--------------------------------------
I came up with these after I randomly explained asynchronous js to a junior as synchronous code on meth. These were just off the top of my head, please feel free to correct or expand on them :-)25 -
10 Things You’ll Find Shocking About Asynchronous Operations:
3.
2.
7.
4.
6.
1.
9.
10.
5.
8.
(found on twitter by @iamdevloper 😂)6 -
We're using a ticket system at work that a local company wrote specifically for IT-support companies. It's missing so many (to us) essential features that they flat out ignored the feature requests for. I started dissecting their front-end code to find ways to get the site to do what we want and find a lot of ugly code.
Stuff like if(!confirm("blablabla") == false) and whole JavaScript libraries just to perform one task in one page that are loaded on every page you visit, complaining in the js console that they are loaded in the wrong order. It also uses a websocket on a completely arbitrary port making it impossible to work with it if you are on a restricted wifi. They flat out lie about their customers not wanting an offline app even though their communications platform on which they got asked this question once again got swarmed with big customers disagreeing as the mobile perofrmance and design of the mobile webpage is just atrocious.
So i dig farther and farthee adding all the features we want into a userscript with a beat little 'custom namespace' i make pretty good progress until i find a site that does asynchronous loading of its subpages all of a sudden. They never do that anywhere else. Injecting code into the overcomolicated jQuery mess that they call code is impossible to me, so i track changes via a mutationObserver (awesome stuff for userscripts, never heard of it before) and get that running too.
The userscript got such a volume of functions in such a short time that my boss even used it to demonstrate to them what we want and asked them why they couldn't do it in a reasonable timeframe.
All in all I'm pretty proud if the script, but i hate that software companies that write such a mess of code in different coding styles all over the place even get a foot into the door.
And that's just the code part: They very veeeery often just break stuff in updates that then require multiple hotfixes throughout the day after we complain about it. These errors even go so far to break functionality completely or just throw 500s in our face. It really gives you the impression that they are not testing that thing at all.
And the worst: They actively encourage their trainees to write as much code as possible to get paid more than their contract says, so of course they just break stuff all the time to write as much as possible.
Where did i get that information you ask? They state it on ther fucking career page!
We also have reverse proxy in front of that page that manages the HTTPS encryption and Let's Encrypt renewal. Guess what: They internally check if the certificate on the machine is valid and the system refuses to work if it isn't. How do you upload a certificate to the system you asked? You don't! You have to mail it to them for them to SSH into the system and install it manually. When will that be possible you ask? SOON™.
At least after a while i got them to just disable the 'feature'.
While we are at 'features' (sorry for the bad structure): They have this genius 'smart redirect' feature that is supposed to throw you right back where you were once you're done editing something. Brilliant idea, how do they do it? Using a callback libk like everyone else? Noooo. A serverside database entry that only gets correctly updated half of the time. So while multitasking in multiple tabs because the performance of that thing almost forces you to makes it a whole lot worse you are not protected from it if you don't. Example: you did work on ticket A and save that. You get redirected to ticket B you worked on this morning even though its fucking 5 o' clock in the evening. So of course you get confused over wherever you selected the right ticket to begin with. So you have to check that almost everytime.
Alright, rant over.
Let's see if i beed to make another one after their big 'all feature requests on hold, UI redesign, everything will be fixed and much better'-update.5 -
"I'm going to cram you so full of asynchronous JavaScript and malware throttling that your gonna be crapping cipher text" - Simpsons S27E10
8 -
Hey everyone! Recently there was a bug discovered which caused many (but not all) “user x posted a new rant” subscription notifs (both in-app and push) to not get sent out for the last week or so. It should be fixed now. Unfortunately though, they won’t be backfilled, so make sure you take a look at your favorite ranters’ profiles since you might not have been notified about their most recent rants.
A big thanks to @gitpush for reporting the issue and thanks to @linuxxx for help testing/confirming the fix worked.
For the basic cause: when we overhauled/fixed push notifs on Android in the last build (about a week ago), we had to convert to FCM. When a “user posted rant” notification was getting sent out, the asynchronous worker would process all of the subscription notifs in a loop. So for users who have a lot of subscribers, somewhere in the loop, something was failing, likely having to do with the new FCM send method. This is now fixed and all push notifs in that worker are also done asynchronously.
Let me know if you have any questions and apologies for the loss of subscription notifs!14 -
So you build a beautiful site; you spend good time on UX, refactoring, server optimisation, getting good page load speeds, SQL all optimised - life is good.
Commercial team comes in and slaps clickbait, generic advertising, tracking scrips over the lot.
Page loads go from a second to 30 seconds and even though you made sure all those crappy ad scripts are asynchronous pages still hang most times. PingdomTools lists your page scripts as going from 40 files to over 900... now users are ringing me up giving me grief about how slow this new company website is...
5 -
"You claim you are a developer and don't know what firebase is? Pfft"
Words uttered by one of my classmates flexing on some 4th semester college inmates. I don't know what's more annoying his squeaky voice, the pretentiousness of using headphones as a necklace during class or that I was just like him when I was a freshman (minus the low hanging fruit flexing).
God fucking damn, I'm not even mad at his obnoxious pampered kid semblance, it's the irony of this enlightened fago falling into the god forsaken rat race. Why?
Because he hasn't been magnanimously disappointed by one of the most corrupt systems I've ever been witness of, yeah keep talking about firebase to the teacher who just nods pretending she knows what you are talking about.
I've had this same teacher before and your nice asynchronous ES6 express nosql solution will come last compared to all the WordPress templates she'll approve because they are pretty and all the time you invested, yeah, right into the crapper, seriously it would've been more satisfying to just masturbate everyday until Christmas break. I'm not pissed at him, annoyed by his semblance maybe, but I actually pitty him because the system will take a big shit on his face and he's just smiling.
Damn it, all these careers ruined by lazy ass professors who think leaving a shitload of diagrams as homework counts as teaching. And before any quirky brother interjects with "oh maybe your University is shit", "muh University verry gut u suk", you shut the fuck up! I know my university sucks even tho is "one of the best ones" by the corrupt media's standards, I'm here to vent about issues, real fucking issues happening in real corrupt systems, I'm taking about professors sexually abusing students, not going to classes, no centralized teaching systems, fucking chaos.
I'm happy for you if you feel good about the piece of paper you hang on your wall that certifies you as Bobby the guy who not only learned a shit load about computers, he also bent his ass so far for us and payed us so much money for it, it's funny he thinks himself as smart.
I know, I know, you went to an ivy league college, have a wonderful job and owe some money, good for you, some are not so lucky and I'll make sure those lazy asses who take advantage of the system lose their jobs.
I'm so sick of this shit we call "moodern educashion"
7 -
Short version:
Dear devRantdairy,
today I was stupid.
The End.
Full version:
I am working on some messaging system, trying to use less as possible overhead sending data. Therefore there of course are asynchronous calls and some templating. But that's just the setting of the rant: I designed an architecture to save conversations in a database. Working with transactions in pdo I wrote a query wich in my eyes should have worked well. But the result just didn't appear in the table. So I started debugging data. Recreated the table. Rewrote the query. Went to bed. Woke up. Further tryed to make this work. And in the end I realized I just forgot to commit the transaction.
How dumb can you be? There's way too much time gone for that mistake. Is there a hole? I want do dig myself.9 -
Like most people I needed some extra cash during uni, so I proceeded to learn CSS + Photoshop (yeah, I know). Followed by PHP and WordPress.
It can be a very shitty platform until you realize that you can stop combining plug-ins from all over the place with dubious code quality and roll your own.
Anyhow I kept at it until I was able to join a niche company doing a quite popular caching plug-in for WP (yeah, W3 Total) when I suddenly became *very* interested in anything and everything performance.
This landed me a very cozy consulting gig in the Nordics - they were using WP for an elephant-traffic website and had run into a myriad of perf issues.
Fixing them and breaking the monolith awarded me with skills in nodejs, linux, asynchronous caching among others.
I was soon in charge with managing the dev boxes for the entire team, and when the main operations dude left, I was promoted to owning the entire platform. (!) Tinkering with Linux for most of my life really came in handy here. (remember Debian potato?)
Used saltstack + aws cloudformation to achieve full parity between all environments. Learned myself some python and all various tips and tricks which in the end amounted to 90% reduction in time-to-first-byte and considerable cost savings.
By the end of the 2yr contract I had turned myself into a fullstack systems engineer and never looked back.
Lawyers not getting along resulted in us having to abandon NewRelic, so I got to learn and deploy the ELK stack as a homegrown replacement, which was super-fun.
Now I work in the engineering effectiveness department of a Swedish fintech unicorn where all languages under the Sun are an option (tho we prefer Python), so the tech stack is unlimited. Infinite tools and technologies, but with strong governing principles and with performance always in mind so as to pick the right tool for the job.
It's like that childhood feeling when you've just dumped a ton of Lego on the floor and are about to build something massive.
I guess the morale here is however disappointed you feel by your current stack - don't. Always strive to make things better, faster, more decoupled, easier to test, etc. and always challenge yourself to go outside the comfort zone.6 -
JavaScript Motherfucking Asynchronous Bullshit.
I get it, for quite some stuff, async is very, very useful. But why on fucking earth do so goddamn many functions NEED this (and those callback functions) and can't do without?!
If there would be good and nicely understandable await documentation that actually fucking works, I'd be so happy.
I've currently got .then after .then after motherfucking then and its irritating me to no end as it, in this context, shouldn't even be necessary. This thing I'm writing doesn't give a fuck if something takes a few milliseconds before the rest of the program can continue!!
Fuck asynchronous programming in JavaScript for goddamn everything.
(I do love JavaScript!)24 -
Everyone talks about their hate of js but like python is honestly just as bad.
- shitty package manager,
* need to recreate python environments to keep workflows seperate as oppose to just mapping dependencies like in maven, npm, cargo, go-get
* Can't fix python version number to project I.e specify it in requirements
- dynamic typing that gets fixed with shitty duck typing too many times
- no first class functions
- limited lambda expressions
- def def def
- overly archaic error messages, rarely have I gotten a good error message and didn't have to dive into package code to figure it out
- people still use 2.7 ... Honestly I blame the difficulty of changing versions for this. It's just not trivial to even specify another python version
- inconsistent import system. When in module use . When outside don't.
- SLOW so SLOW
- BLOCKING making things concurrent has only recently got easier, but it still needs lots of work. Like it would be nice to do
runasync some_async_fcn()
Or just running asynchronous functions on the global scope will make it know to go to some default runtime. Or heck. Just let me run it like that...
- private methods aren't really private. They just hide them in intelisense but you can still override them....
I know my username is ironic :P13 -
When you are trying to be supportive to a colleague but he sees your act as condescension on your part. BITCH I DON'T GIVE A SHIT ABOUT YOU, BUT UNFORTUNATELY I HAVE TO WORK WITH YOU SO PLEASE KNOW THE BARE MINIMUMS TO DO THE TASK. Also he complained to others that he was offended . He was tryna learn react before knowing es6 and nodejs , doesn't know asynchronous and was strongly suggesting that our whole fucking team move to React and I just suggested some topics to look to. I carried his ass once , and seems like now will have to carry it once more :(
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Lessons I've learnt so far on programming
-- Your best written code today can be your worst tomorrow (Focus more on optimisation than style).
-- Having zero knowledge of a language then watching video tutorials is like purchasing an arsenal before knowing what a gun is (Read the docs instead).
-- It's works on my machine! Yes, because you built on Lenovo G-force but never considered the testers running on Intel Pentium 0.001 (Always consider low end devices).
-- "Programming" is you telling a story and without adding "comments" you just wrote a whole novel having no punctuation marks (Always add comments, you will thank yourself later for it I promise).
-- In programming there is nothing like "done"! You only have "in progress" or "abandoned" (Deploy progressively).
-- If at this point you still don't know how to make an asynchronous call in your favourite language, then you are still a rookie! take that from me. (Asynchronous operation is a key feature in programming that every coder should know).
-- If it's more than two conditions use "Switch... case" else stick with "If... else" (Readability should never be under-rated).
-- Code editors can MAKE YOU and BREAK YOU. They have great impact on your coding style and delivery time (Choose editors wisely).
-- Always resist the temptation of writing the whole project from scratch unless needs be (Favor patching to re-creation).
-- Helper methods reduces code redundancy by a large chunk (Always have a class in your project with helper methods).
-- There is something called git (Always make backups).
-- If you don't feel the soothing joy that comes in fixing a bug then "programming" is a no-no (Coding is fun only when it works).
-- Get angry with the bugs not the testers they're only noble messengers (Bugs are your true enemy).
-- You would learn more than a lot reading the codes of others and I mean a lot! (Code review promotes optimisation and let's you know when you are writing macaroni).
-- If you can do it without a framework you have yourself a big fat plus (Frameworks make you entirely dependent).
-- Treat your code like your pet, stop taking care of it and it dies! (Codes are fragile and needs regular updates to stay relevant).
Programming is nothing but fun and I've learnt that a long time ago.6 -
Cannot run one service which is depended on by another before that service is instanced because everything within the cotainer is asynchronous 👍1
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My boss wants to be asynchronous with php. Then to render the backend async he wants to use beanstalk using python to be scalable.
I said : we can use node.js it's already asynchronous. And we don't care about the langage php python...
Boss : node.js isn't scalable, there is no security it's not good enough, it's not enough safe. I code with php since 15 years and it's better than node. To much problem in the node.js version 0.12.
OK BUT NOW WE HAVE NODEJS VERSION 6 LTS. WAKE UP. OMG I GIVE IT UP LET'S GO.6 -
When your egghead boss (who is a dev, BTW) fails miserably in understanding that JavaScript fetch does not behave like the default synchronous nature of requests in Python.
After failing to make him learn about the asynchronous nature of JavaScript promises, he ends the discussion by saying "that's why python is better than js"
*facepalm*2 -
FUCK YOU Visual Studio, didn't you ever hear about asynchronous behavior? like WHY THE HELL you have to freeze every single thing to complete a shitty task, I just need to copy/open file..
Microsoft, Xamarin, and MAC Agent.. WHAT FUCKING POSSIBLY COULD GO WRONG.
{AND NO, MY LAPTOP IS NOT SHIT, this happens only with shitual studio}2 -
Historically I've done Java but have recently moved to C# and got the book to do a cert.
Who thought it would be a good idea to start chapter 1 with threads, concurrency, asynchronous calls and PLINQ, then covering boolean expressions, if statements and loops in the section after??6 -
Only around 700 lines of code and I finally have my first working Vulkan drawcall! Can't wait to integrate it into my engine for all the parallel rendering goodness (not to mention better architecture and asynchronous-ness)
One thing that's a bit weird about Vulkan is the way everything is very static and tightly linked together. You basically need a different renderpass for each stage of rendering (scene-hdr-no-aa, scene-hdr-msaa4, scene-hdr-smaa1, scence-shadow, post-bloom, post-resolve, etc.), a different pipeline object for each distinct pipeline configuration (!!) and both framebuffers and pipeline objects are only valid within the single renderpass they've been created for (roughly speaking)
Oh, and each time the window is resized you have to recreate *all* of these objects from scratch because they also depend on viewport size
No wonder `pipelineCache` is the first argument of `vkCreateGraphicsPipelines` lol
3 -
As I am working with WordPress for the really first time I am making horrible experiences now.
My client wants a simple submenu on the sidebar if the user is logged in else he want the login form to be there. Easy peezy done with php and just good old plain html. Maybe some JavaScript to make the login process asynchronous.
But fucking bitch - NO. As I found out after searching and digging. I have to create a menu in wp-admin first. Then add a menu-widget to the sidebar. And then install a plug-in to make the links only visible for logged in user. Wtf?
WordPress takes all the joy in doing web development for me. I won't do that anymore. I will force all new clients to use proper tools to make their shit work for them. And as I am the expert in this things I am the one who suggests the right tool.
Fuck this shit.9 -
TL;DR C# has changed quite a bit since the last time I used it.
So I'm working on a personal project, it's written in C#. When I needed to run a task on a separate thread. It has been years since the last time I worked with C#, so I googled it.
Me: "Async? Await? Task? This looks pretty fucking useful. When was this added?"
*Googles a bit*
Return .NET 4.5 in 2012. Current version 4.7.1.
Me: "What?! Last time I checked they were still in .NET 4. Shit!"
I've got a bit of catching up to do.2 -
Me: Let's implement this integration test suite in Python since it has got plenty of rich libraries for accomplishing our goals.
Client: Let's use Node.js instead.
Me: With Node.js, we'll need to handle a lot of it's inherent stuff like asynchronous code flows, promises, etc. That's not what we primarily want to achieve.
Client: Let's use Node.js.
Me: Okay. What potential advantages do you see with Node.js?
Client: Umm.. let's just use Node.js?
Me: FML4 -
My IBM 5150 doesn't have the standard IBM Asynchronous Card in it and was replaced with a Tecram First Mate multifunctional memory expansion, serial connectivity, and printer parallel card. It has more jumpers than a suicide hotline.
1 -
Fucking hate Qt.
Spent all morning trying to figure out how their bullshit QThreadPool works with their bullshit QRunnable but after a bunch of bullshit asynchronous testing I figured that my thread object was being collected and deleted before I was done with it, for no reason. Now if the race condition was documented... This wouldn't be an issue. But every google search brought up nada. Eventually I resorted to turning off autoDelete on the runnable, but then I just have a memory leak, obviously.
I couldn't find a way to manually clean up a QRunnable in Python. What the fuck.
I just went back to good old fashioned QThreads... This is why I quit Qt in the first place.18 -
I just found out last Friday that my team collegues (all of them are team leads) are suffering from depression or the so called burn out syndrom. I guess it's my boss' fault. He never gives clear jobs, changes his mind from day to day, we have to manage unclear responsibilities and the baddest thing is that we think that our boss is too stressed out himself.
Do you have any advice for me how we as team could solve that besides changing employer? One thing to mention is, that my boss likes to hear himself talking. That makes it even harder for a guy like myself who is more or less introverted to come up with good arguments which are not overheard or overtalked immediately. What are your feedback strategies to your own boss, how do you bring such stuff on the table?
I fear that when nothing happens, my company will suffer very hard when the whole product engineering departement will fall apart (¼ of the whole company and is responsible for engineering and maintaining of internal services and managed services for our customers).
Well at least it was worth writing about it, maybe my subconcious mind will come up with a brilliant idea itself in the near future in some asynchronous way. But you might be the one with that valuable input, then don't hesitate to share, it will be welcome.4 -
Fuck NodeJS. I don't want you to be asynchronous sometimes. My gahwd I need like 3 deep nested loops just to get you to make a request and compile a damn JSON of requests.
I'm learning Golang goodbye forever node.15 -
aaaaaghh fucking Handlers man. Android is so fucking full of shit, i wonder why am i still doing it. love is pain.
Why can't there be one mother fucking solution to all lazy ass asynchronous programming? handlers, threadpools, asynctask, executers, Broadcasts, intentService, coroutines, rxjava,.... i don't what new stuff are people snorting these days.
Ok , leave everything. A handler is class- no sorry, Handler, alongside some fucking Looper clss (and maybe some more stuff i don't know) other classes is a way of handling inter thread communication. Handlers can:
-send data to ui thread
-recieve data from ui thread
-send "messages" to ui thread
-recieve "messages" from ui thread.
- can be attached to ui thread
- can be attached to any child thread
- can be accessed anonymosly via any view
- can be present in multiple places, working together
- can kill night king with a dagger
- can do porn better than johnny sins
- can run for president of the whole fucking world
- do some more shits that i have yet to discover
And where do i find this? buried deep insides some medium articles or in some guy's horrible accent video.
Is background processing really this much of a toughnut to crack?
earlier i was all about using asynctask or foreground/background services, because these are the most easy to understand abstraction of a fairly difficult topic.
But as i see more projects, i see underlying apis like handlers, threadpools , executers , being directly used.
Why cant there be a fucking single abstraction, that could be "lightly tweaked" to handle every ugly case.6 -
Golang's standard command line parsing library suuuucckkkkssss. But who the fuck writes command line apps any more? Everything has to be a fucking asynchronous daemon in a docker container orchestrated by kuberwhateverthefuck running in the ClOuD2
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I spent 2 hours googling and scratching my head trying to implement asyc Tast<ActionResult> on asp.net MVC. I even copy and paste the exact sample code and still didn't work. It turns out that "Visual studio for Mac" doesn't support asynchronous calls.
6 -
boss. "I have a one o'clock meeting" Project Manager "uuuuuh, it's after one" boss: "it's an asynchronous meeting"
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Coolest bugs: anything involving SignalR hubs. what a crazy, upside down world asynchronous web sockets are.4
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I hate you fucking callbacks. why don't you callback in the fucking order you were motherfucking called!!!! why must you force me to call a callback a callback!! 😣😡😤👹
2 -
Introducing, my YAML based pseudo programming language.
Simply because:
1. I'm tired of managing asynchronous processes, either by dealing with callback or thread synchronization.
2. I want to combine modules written in PHP, Python, Javascript, Unix command, and everything else I'll ever need in a single "program", at least for quick-and-dirty solution, yet still looks elegant.
3. I want to embed Javascript directly for some simple logics
So, let me hear your opinion on this...
The backend code is still messy even after I do a lot of refactoring: https://github.com/goFrendiAsgard/...
Majority part of documentations hasn't been updated yet.
4 -
I'm currently between jobs and have a few rants about my previous job (naturally). In retrospect, it's somewhat therapeutic to range about the sheer brainfuckery that has taken place. Enjoy!
First, let me set the scene: legacy B2B web app made with LEMP stack and sencha ext.js 3 + 4 (don't ask) and a lot of madness. Let's call that app "Alpha".
Alpha is a self made CMS build for typical ERP stuff. Yes, a self made CMS: entities are containers, containers have types and fields and values. Like so many legacy PHP apps, it does not have a dedicated FE: the HTML is rendered on the server and then spewed out to the browser.
Easy right? Coding like it's 1999! But there was a twist: Because everything is basically a container, the HTML-templates are saved in the DB. Along with the nessary JS and the CSS. And the translation variables. Why? Because fuck you! That's why. Who needs a git history anyways.
For some reason, Alpha was kinda slow.
There was also an editor, that allowed you to modify templates (web, mail, pdf) on the fly in prod. Because templates contain repeating data (header/footer), one template could contain additional templates. Much confusion. You could change templates via migration (slow, boring) or just ctrl-c/ctrl-v that sucker (fast, much excitement).
Did I mention Alpha was slow?
On with the rant: e-mails! How do they work? Noone knows. How to send mails asynchronous in PHP? Witchcraft is the only possible answer to that riddle. Here is your enterprise™ solution:
1. create mail
2. insert mail into DB
3. WAIT UP TO 59 SECONDS FOR A FUCKING CRON TO SEND MAIL
Why? "Because that way, we can resend mails in case the network is down :)"
Same procedure for the SOAP-API (db-queue + cron). You read that right: all requests to various other systems are processed once a minute.
Alpha slow.
Alpha was only one of several systems. Imagine a bunch of monolithic php apps, interconnected via SOAP, REST and GraphQL like a godamn intergalactic orgy. Image having to debug that cluster fuck.
Let's say there is a bad request. These things happen. No biggie. Remember the db-queue? Let's try to send the bad request a second time! And a third time! Still no luck? How odd. Let's create a specific file in a specific directory: a LOCK-file. Now, "the db-queue is on hold and no request gets processed :)"
Golly gee thanks Alpha.
Anyhow, did you know that MySQL has a join limit of 61 tables?
3 -
Fucking asynchronous code can be very annoying sometimes. Had to struggle the whole day yesterday to get it work properly so I fetch all the results from a function which does many asynchronous calls.
Then I realized that I just need two more counter variables to increase and later decreases to detect when all of them finished.
That shit..1 -
Front end developer is still getting a ticket even though the security flaw lies in the back-end.
Today, every click of the UI has an overlay of circular progress indicator indicates that there will be a synchronous actions in an asynchronous requests.
1 click = 1 loading state -
/** Null until this web socket is connected. Used for writes, pings, and close timeouts. */
private ScheduledExecutorService executor;
Dear boys and girls.
If you ever do this again and release this as a public library (even better - an official client of your solution, e.g. kuber-fucking-netes), I will get my way into dR's gateway servers, trace down your IP in nginx's logs, find your location, probably use some means to get your first and last name (you prolly have a domain registered under your IP anyways...), buy a ticket to your town, get to your home and wait for night to fall. Once it's dark and you're asleep, I'll make sure to leave a real nice, warm and extraordinarily smelly turd on your doorstep (I'll also make sure the process of manufacturing that gem is as noisy as it gets - you just have to bend the right way, and....).
Gents. If you really, REALLY want to make writes asynchronous, at least provide a way to either get a notification once the write is synchronized, or allow the user to handle the threads/executors himself!
https://youtube.com/watch/...
5 -
Joining a new team to find that ,
Non .. and I mean non of all of their code is Asynchronous!! non .. zeroo !!
And they have told me to follow their practices !
I forze for a couple of seconds then I said : no !2 -
Ugh. That may have been a mistake.
I'm deep in a large effort to refactor my project. It's a one man deal and something I've been working on pretty much every day in some fashion for nearly 10 years (five years ago I started a scratch rewrite to move from a fully CGI server rendered application to a browser rendered asynchronous version built around JS) and that took me three years.
I started this refactor about 8 weeks ago. Turns out I've been tackling the largest modules and progress has been decent. So that's good.
But I got to wondering ... Just how much code is there?
So I whipped up a quick script to do some calculations. Read each file and get a line and word count, skipping empty lines.
In JS it turns out I have 83,973 lines and 467,683 words.
On the back end, 86,230 lines and 580,422 words.
Average publishing stats say the are about 250 words/printed page.
That means I'm confronting refactoring 1,870 pages of JS. That's the size of several decent sized novels. (I think I've done the equivalent of Maybe 400 at this point).
Makes me feel like the walls are creeping in to know how much is left to go ... -
I work as a "software architect" in a company where architecture is just a footnote on stuff we have to build on top of a legacy codebase. The most frustrating thing about my job is having to deal with senior developers whose skills consist of things they last updated in 2010. I'm supposed to call these people my peers when they can't even grasp the concept of asynchronous messaging across three services as it gets way too complex. My job as an "architect" is 90% just being a developer and then expected to solve problems related to architecture and development standards with the remaining 10% of my time.1
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I've decided to switch my engine from OpenGL to Vulkan and my god damn brain hurts
Loader -> Instance -> Physical Devices -> Logical Device (Layers | Features | Extensions) | Queue Family (Count | Flags) -> Queues | Command Pools -> Command Buffers
Of course each queue family only supports some commands (graphics, compute, transfer, etc.) and everything is asynchronous so it needs explicit synchronization (both on the cpu and with gpu semaphores) too4 -
Hey, would you mind trying this new powerful JS library?
It has really powerful abstraction over powerful features that compose powerful components using powerful patterns based on a powerful new asynchronous paradigm2 -
I fucking love Asynchronous Action creators in Redux.
I little more work upfront makes for a well thought out application and makes things like loading screens stupid simple. -
Just coded my first flutter app! The feeling when no async wait error appeared anymore was amazing. It uses the geolocation library to geht your current Position via GPS
2 -
How did I end up looking how to write asynchronous function in shell script whereas my task is to write a distributed chat app in Node.JS ?
Damn this is going to be complicated. -
I can remember a day which I really close to crying why my code doesn't work! Then I remember that fucking line of code should be run async! :/
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An asynchronous service in android which sends an Http request to a webpage to store its content every 3 seconds regardless of its response, and runs forever?
What the fuck where you thinking. You just killed my phone!!2 -
Thinking how the fuck did the variable became undefined and realizing you defined the variable in an asynchronous rest call...
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Without a doubt it has to be the internal company search engine/file finding tool @thewamz and I wrote.
The company has a wide UNC network with files scattered all over the place and they need a way to keep track of where the files get moved to (they can and do get moved). The original tool was written in Java/Tomcat and didn't use any frameworks or utilities beyond custom written ones, no orms, and the SQL was just raw strings. The program didn't take into account that files might be moved or deleted so it never removed anything from the database, it just kept adding files and never removing them.
It however never stores files itself, just links to files elsewhere on the UNC network.
It took six months to get it into what might be a stable beta or release candidate state. The user interface is good, very simple and intuitive, the whole thing was rewritten in python/django, there were issues with utf 8 (and mysql not fully supporting utf 8 in its own utf 8 mode), we added a regex search mode (which was sorely lacking), the search used to take up to fifteen minutes however we sped it up to less than a minute (worst case when a user simply puts "^$" as the regex search). It has a multi threaded design which does some checks to ensure it doesn't spawn too many threads and get stuck in constant Gil switching. Still some bugs to fix, like moving the processing of results returned by the server in a web worker so that the content widget doesn't lock up processing millions of search results and moving the back end to use asynchronous python might gain a performance boost. But on the whole I think the system is ready to replace the older system that all the users are frustrated with and constantly complain about.
However the annoying bit is... How to actually get the new system online, while I am responsible for the development of tools and their maintenance, I am not responsible for their initial deployment and that means I have no idea when (or even if) my new tool will even ever be released :/ -
I love C# but I think that the addition of async/await did more harm than good. Hardly anyone can understand how to use it correctly and the only people who grok its black magic fuckery enough to write about it are MS employees. Try to do anything with it? Nope, there's a high falutin blog post by the likes of Stephen Cleary explaining why everything you know is wrong and you should have never even used async/await in the first place. Even worse is that to use the supposedly game-changing feature requires you to rewrite your entire fucking codebase.
Can you tell that I'm frustrated trying to wrap my head around async/await?4 -
tl;dr i am proud of my universal program but annoyed it won't get appreciation.
<brag type='slightly'>the last three days i refactored my various snippets to a kind of modular and scalable software package. restricted to a rigid company system i make use of the technologies i feel confident in. so i created a javascript app that can be used with internet explorer. it is a neat tool to work smarter and mainly to make repetitive writing tasks efficient using predefined textblocks that have automated linguistic adjustments and are multilingual usable. after refactoring it is possible to extend any desired functionality by just adding another module. i learned a lot about implementing separated data structures, data processing, output and asynchronous script loading (and the annoying limitations of ie11).</brag>
i kept in mind that this tool might not only help my personal duties to be done more efficient but also might come in handy to all my colleagues having similar tasks to do. the downside is my colleagues having irrational computerphobia and i know for sure they will proceed to do these repetitive writings manually resulting in inconsistencies and an inefficient time management. while my wise wife tries to convice me that at least i had fun coding this stuff and having it supporting me with annoying tasks, it still bothers me being the only user, as it means no progression for the company. it riddles me how the colleagues, acknowledging us all being craftspeople in the first place, avoid use of computers whenever possible and rather rely on medieval working flows.
i find it quite amusing to be the 'can you fix my printer'-guy, but i just cannot handle this attitude. and everyone complains about having so much to do. get your shit together and start clicking these few buttons goddammit! -
I've been wandering around with a brain itch for the past few days trying to pick an API framework.
I wanted to something fast and async, so I would normally use Go, but it's an interface to a python project, so I had to find a good asynchronous python web server.
Twisted provides async options, but they aren't baked in, and tornado/cyclone/airohttp are written in a weird way for someone coming from flask/Django.
Finally I resolved to use Falcon, because it was built for APIs and async by default, but it was crazy verbose to write. I settled in to write it anyway... But then I found the perfect library. Hug: https://github.com/timothycrosley/....
I can finally think clearly.
Now I can finally write my code... At least until I have to pick a framework for the rewrite of the web app.5 -
The project my company agreed to work with 1 year ago is totally shitty.
We basically use Python 2, Tornado, MySQL and driver for it from 2005, custom made "ORM" where you have to write SQL in strings in Python, custom asynchronous service that runs jobs and all such...
The rest of the team writes code really badly and only after a year of fucking with this shit we made them do pull requests.
I became totally neurotic because of the shit I have to go through daily at work. I do not develop myself, no new things I have learned in the past year or so. What do I do, devrant? What is your advice?2 -
Threading, asynchronous events and scheduling...
My straight jacket feels welcoming, and I take comfort knowing that before I put it on, I got the code working. -
"Hey guys I need help I struggle with asynchronous stuff and I need to pass props loaded via Ajax, I can't manage to apply this solution (link to another SO question with complete and structured answer), can you guys help ?"
*30 seconds later, question is marked as duplicate, the answer has been given here (link to same question I was refering)* -
Not a fight per se, but I once had a debate with a tech lead who thought you could set a variable in the ‘then’ clause of a Javascript promise and just use said variable after the promise declaration and assume it would be populated.
“no.... thats not how asynchronous code works.”1 -
Spent 4 hours working with a buddy before realizing our failing code stemmed back to using sqlite3 Npm package, which is asynchronous. Switched to better-sqlite3, a synchronous sqlite package, and alls good.
What's the purpose of an async DB anyway? Seemed like it made storing and retrieving data a huge hassle. -
I've a whole new respect for ElasticSearch. It's codebase is so insanely complex, that I'm seriously contemplating tracing out the flow on a big ass chart. Any suggestions on how you people work and debug so many asynchronous flows?
I have been working on a bug, for almost 6 days (to be read as 3 consecutive weekends), and the best I've done is, conceptually isolate where it's happening. I'm an open source noob, but I feel I've learnt a whole lot during sifting through ES' codebase. :)2 -
Just had a cross training where the presenter kept pronouncing asynchronous and async as "awe-synchronous" and "awe-sync".
Nice job, but not awe-some.1 -
I had been working to make API call Asynchronous..
And now complexity is too High..
Yet i am happy that Code working as expected..! -
Just use a promise that sets this variable, and then you can use the variable as long as its after the promise declaration.
No, just no. Thats not now asynchronous code works.2 -
This question is a bit dumb
Why do browsers block asynchronous requests when you use local files from your computer3 -
Looking to write a mobile application targeting both iOS and Android. It will be fairly basic (most complicated functions will be push notifications, asynchronous JSON fetching). I am fairly proficient at both Swift and iOS as well as JavaScript web development (react) but have never tried react native. Any thoughts on React Native vs Native Swift / Java?4
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I have a strange satisfaction whenever my asynchronous js code filled with promises executes in the order that I write them even though it has no bearing in the correctness of the program.
EDIT: the async tasks are supposed to execute in identical times in theory -
A very long rant.. but I'm looking to share some experiences, maybe a different perspective.. huge changes at the company.
So my company is starting our microservices journey (we have a 359 retail websites at this moment)
First question was: What to build first?
The first thing we had to do was to decide what we wanted to build as our first microservice. We went looking for a microservice that can be used read only, consumers could easily implement without overhauling production software and is isolated from other processes.
We’ve ended up with building a catalog service as our first microservice. That catalog service provides consumers of the microservice information of our catalog and its most essential information about items in the catalog.
By starting with building the catalog service the team could focus on building the microservice without any time pressure. The initial functionalities of the catalog service were being created to replace existing functionality which were working fine.
Because we choose such an isolated functionality we were able to introduce the new catalog service into production step by step. Instead of replacing the search functionality of the webshops using a big-bang approach, we choose A/B split testing to measure our changes and gradually increase the load of the microservice.
Next step: Choosing a datastore
The search engine that was in production when we started this project was making user of Solr. Due to the use of Lucene it was performing very well as a search engine, but from engineering perspective it lacked some functionalities. It came short if you wanted to run it in a cluster environment, configuring it was hard and not user friendly and last but not least, development of Solr seemed to be grinded to a halt.
Elasticsearch started entering the scene as a competitor for Solr and brought interesting features. Still using Lucene, which we were happy with, it was build with clustering in mind and being provided out of the box. Managing Elasticsearch was easy since there are REST APIs for configuration and as a fallback there are YAML configurations available.
We decided to use Elasticsearch since it provides us the strengths and capabilities of Lucene with the added joy of easy configuration, clustering and a lively community driving the project.
Even bigger challenge? Which programming language will we use
The team responsible for developing this first microservice consists out of a group web developers. So when looking for a programming language for the microservice, we went searching for a language close to their hearts and expertise. At that time a typical web developer at least had knowledge of PHP and Javascript.
What we’ve noticed during researching various languages is that almost all actions done by the catalog service will boil down to the following paradigm:
- Execute a HTTP call to fetch some JSON
- Transform JSON to a desired output
- Respond with the transformed JSON
Actions that easily can be done in a parallel and asynchronous manner and mainly consists out of transforming JSON from the source to a desired output. The programming language used for the catalog service should hold strong qualifications for those kind of actions.
Another thing to notice is that some functionalities that will be built using the catalog service will result into a high level of concurrent requests. For example the type-ahead functionality will trigger several requests to the catalog service per usage of a user.
To us, PHP and .NET at that time weren’t sufficient enough to us for building the catalog service based on the requirements we’ve set. Eventually we’ve decided to use Node.js which is better suited for the things we are looking for as described earlier. Node.js provides a non-blocking I/O model and being event driven helps us developing a high performance microservice.
The leap to start programming Node.js is relatively small since it basically is Javascript. A language that is familiar for the developers around that time. While Node.js is displaying some new concepts it is relatively easy for a developer to start using it.
The beauty of microservices and the isolation it provides, is that you can choose the best tool for that particular microservice. Not all microservices will be developed using Node.js and Elasticsearch. All kinds of combinations might arise and this is what makes the microservices architecture so flexible.
Even when Node.js or Elasticsearch turns out to be a bad choice for the catalog service it is relatively easy to switch that choice for magic ‘X’ or component ‘Z’. By focussing on creating a solid API the components that are driving that API don’t matter that much. It should do what you ask of it and when it is lacking you just replace it.
Many more headaches to come later this year ;)3 -
Needed to help a friend with her Bachelor Thesis. She writes in Javascript and needs to synchronously use the result of a postgresql query. The query call is asynchronous.
We did what any person that searches for a dirty solution would do.
We saved the result of a query in a file and load the file when we need it.
Why is Javascript a thing?6 -
Ripped apart nice class, which had nice asynchronous callback interface, add sleep() where needed.Renamed it as sync class.WTF
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Over the last week I've slowly grown to fucking hate IMAP and SMTP. You'd think after so many years we'd have come up with better servers to manage email but no we still rely on fucking decades old protocols that can't even batch requests.
To make things worse I need to attach to IMAP through node and that has been a nightmare. All the libraries suck ass and even the ones tailored towards Gmail don't work for Gmail because Google decided one day to fucking out the header at the bottom of some emails and split into mimeparts. Also why the fuck is fetching email asynchronous? There's no point at all since we requests are processed line by line in IMAP, and if the library actually supported sending asynchronous requests it wouldn't require a new object to be created for each request and allow only a single listener.
Also callbacks are antiquated for a while and it pisses me off that node hasn't updated their libraries i.e. TLS to support async/await. I've taken to "return await new Promise" where the resolve of the promise is passed as the callback, which let's me go from callback to promise to async/await. If anyone has any other ideas I'm all ears otherwise I might just rewrite their TLS library altogether...
And this is just IMAP. I wish browsers supported TLS sockets because I can already see a server struggling with several endpoints and users, it would be much easier to open a connection from the client since the relationship is essentially:
Client [N] --- [1] Server [1] --- [1] IMAP
And to make the legs of that N : N which would fix a lot of issues, I would have to open a new IMAP connection for every client, which is cool cause it could be serverless, but horrifying because that's so inefficient.
Honestly we need a new, unifying email protocol with modern paradigms...8 -
After weeks of agonizing and cursing Electron JS and JavaScript......
I finally managed to get all my modules to sync up and play nice with each other!
Love JavaScript again! Although seriously had enough issues with asynchronous tasks and threads.
Heading over to the dark side(functional) now.... 😈😈
2 -
Tried out the node.js code demo in this book.
🤦♂️
Terrible format, use tab for indentation, very very long function, redundant code (eg: new Buffer vulnerability)...
The major issue is none of the total.js nosql code works. Eg:
db.clear()
db.insert({...data})
Without any asynchronous call, how do you expect this to work?!
Just fixed the code and updated npm modules for demos in Chapter 3 btw... Took way longer than expected.
3 -
Anyone else get the mind of a angsty college student without coffee?
I just had trouble describing asynchronous encryption -
// !rant
Anybody here knows Backblaze's B2 Cloud Storage?
I am thinking of using it to storage video from a web app that I am developing. The process is:
1 - Send video files (both) to storage w/ cli (Done ✔)
2 - Authorize the asynchronous download and shows it on the HTML5's player (reading the doc ✖).
Question:
Anybody experienced some workflow likes this before? I am trying save some time before break my head after read all CLI doc (only cli, I can't find any workflow of it)1 -
So i have been coding in python and its my main language. Give me 2 reason why i should learn js(node).this question aroused coz i have to work with MS Bot framework and they just support c# & node js (python is still in prev) and their code has asynchronous programming in both *cries in corner also suggest me good resources to lesrn what async prog3
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There is a question on StackOverflow, its name is "How do I return the response from an asynchronous call?". I think that everyone knows it. Well, I can easily guess that half of javascript questions on the website are marked as duplicated and linked to this question.
For a moment, let's identify with the people that spend hours on StackOverflow to read all the questions and try to answer to most of them. How stressing and annoying can be repeating the same single thing 50 times a day?
Well, we should take this in account before blaming SO for being rude or before saying that JavaScript sucks without even knowing how to fucking listen to the response on an asynchronous request3 -
Ugh trying to refactor a Node.js MUD codebase to use mongodb. It currently accesses/stores it's data in json files via synchronous FS operations. Callback and/or .then hell, here I come!
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