Who do you think have devrant's biggest shlong?

......

I can retire! I automated myself!

I introduce to you, retoorii1b! Yes - I fit in a 1b LLM. Retoorii1b is a bit retoorded tho. It's quite realistic.

I tested several LLM's with same training and it was amazing. Even a 0.5b that had the most interesting Dutch ever. Her Dutch is like my English I suppose.

The 0.5b one could code fine. retoorii1b still has some ethics to delete to make it more realistic.

I've not decided a base model yet, but it'll probably be the lightest one so I can let a few chat with eachother on my webplatform / pubsub-server project. I have a few laptops to host on. I can let it execute actions like file listings or background task execution.

See comments for some very awkward response regarding my file listing. She described everything.

She just said these things. I'm kinda proud. I became a parent:
3. **Keep functions short and sweet**: Aim for functions under 50 lines long. Any longer and you're just wasting people's time.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have more important things to attend to... like coding my next game in Unreal Engine.

Why do I program everything myself in C, even a rest service? By writing everything yourself in C you make simple things complex to make complex things simple.

Writing a rest service for example learns you a part of http protocol, how sockets work, how to create a parser (in this case json). Three thing's you would miss if I used python.

On top, your rest service uses WAY lesser resource than written in python for example. Especially for CPU usage.

Allocating and free-ing still often have issues there, but I consider it a skill problem / discipline issue. Not blaming C for that. The rules are clear.

I once wanted to make easy money by becoming a professional poker player. I did this by programming a poker simulator and calculate chances with certain cards and stuff. To assure you have 6.**% winning (mathematical chance calculated) of a hand takes around 3k simulations to cancel out the luck. So don't trust to much on your math.

That went well, but that wasn't all that there was to learn, you could even consider a small start. Long story short, I became quite a good player and won a lot with Appeak Poker (Great app! No adverts!). Now, I opened a while ago an account at the Holland Casino to make some money. But they were playing on such low wages that it was just not interesting and I quitted. Today I realized I had still an account with money on it and thought "let's get over wit it" so i did aggressive betting on red (1:st 40% all in, lost, 2nd 100% all in won) in a roulette game. In the end I had a few euro profit so the gambling adventure never costed me money.

Another reason the poker carreer ended is because I realized it's not a quick way to make money at all and the gambling factor was too high. I expected poker a bit to be more strategy.

I even consider the best poker spelers maybe to just be lucky bastards in some cases. Poker stars is fun to see on youtube tough, they're bullshitting a lot.

I consider gambling for losers. Poker, you can become really good in it, but still some luck is required. Not bad luck at least. You can lose with a multiple of quite good hands.

Fact: one of the best poker players is actually a software developer

How come the zionists didnt get a part of italy? Fascism and meloni are claiming to be inheriting from the roman empire who exiled the jews from they ancestral homeland.

So give them rome. Imagine a jewish rome it would be so much better.

But why did the stupid brits gave them their colony instead of just dismembering the countries that started ww2. The whole shit is their fault really

You know how I always """joke""" about smoking crack cocaine being the secret to my success?

Well, guess what. Some famous brit flower boy singer or some shit was staying at a hotel a mere 20 or so minute bus ride away from where I live.

What happens then is, of course, that brain fissure mother fucker got higher than shit on that damn crack and jumped to his death. Coincidence? I don't think so. I mean, what are the odds?

He was trying to copy my formula, no doubt about that. And obviously, he failed.

But I still feel this is very unfair -- to me. Not only did he plagiarize without recognition, I now also may or may not have to deal with the inevitable shrine that will be built by his fans on the spot where he met his unfortunate end, to gather around and ritually incinerate hardcore drugs in his honor, leaving behind crackpipes for him to smoke in heaven and that kind of commemorative jazz. Hmm, it might boost turism though, so it's not all bad.

Imagine the tour guide, maan. "Oh, and this is the spot where that guy from some dumbass boyband splattered against the ground after trying to beat Max Wright at his own game, RIP and please sir don't defecate on the plaque SIR DO N-- well, nevermind. OK, moving on... "

Anyway, I just wanted to publicize the fact that I didn't even know who the fuck he was until his untimely demise, may God have mercy on him, but it serves him right for trying to steal my arcane secrets.

!dev

There’s this person at $work who never uses punctuation of any kind. She has mental issues and insists on neutral pronouns (and strongly advertises these) so I’ll use the indefinite to pretend to be respectful. It has multiple thoughts while typing a message and just keeps typing through all of them without stopping. It pauses not to collect its thoughts, to edit for clarity or to fix mistakes, to separate anything (including disjoint topics), to summarize, etc. (Though calling these “thoughts” is a huge stretch, given its lack of propensity for that particular subject.) It’s as if it has zero distinction between writing and speaking, and simply lets the mental diarrhea flow while their fingers do their best to keep pace. Reading these trainwrecks of thought — and gleaning any useful information from them — is always difficult and a little bit painful.

It is also in charge of IT security, which is more than a bit worrying. (But I hate the company with a passion, so it doesn’t bother me nearly as much as it otherwise would.)

When I'm going camera off you can assume this is the vibes

Can't believe I wasted my time searching for old year papers!

Ugh, I'm so frustrated! I've been searching for old year papers for my exam preparation and it's like they're hiding in plain sight! I've tried every website, every PDF, every freaking link I could find and most of them are either dead or outdated!

And don't even get me started on the ones that claim to have "latest" papers but are actually from 5 years ago! Like, what's the point of even posting that?!

I just want one simple thing: a reliable source for old year papers that actually works! Is that too much to ask?!

I didn't vaccinate my 10 kids and the one that survived is fine!

I feel fucking stupid about using a custom node system at work. It is designed to generate an xml file for configuration. However, when using a node I cannot add more to the node unless the node has data. So I gotta call a function to inject useless XML into the node for it to not be empty. I literally set the internal data to <key></key>. It is stupid and I hate it. Just let me create my node hierarchy damn it!

Is this some weird data pattern I should know about? Like what does preventing adding data to an empty structure do? I have the root node. Is that not enough. Remember, this is custom node system that is probably fucking 20 years old. The previous coders did a lot of walled garden shit that I also hate. Prevents reuse of code. This code might just be more of that shit.

JUST.
KEEP.
ME.
SIGNED.
IN.

😡👀
MESSAGES.GOOGLE.COM
WEB.WHATSAPP.COM
🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬

Abs of the day: Chef
https://esolangs.org/wiki/Chef

What's keeping you from living your wildest dreams?

Latest crochet projects

Time to start a new interview since these shitfucks will never send me email to hire me and apparently it doesnt fucking matter if i passed hr and technical interview

quite frankly im very unexcited, tired and annoyed of taking interviews. My full time job has became taking interviews and nothing happening afterswards ever

This bullshit is extremely annoying. If this keeps on going i will demand getting paid for taking an interview. You have a privilege of interviewing ME, the LORD, and then fuck with me by reject or ghost me? You shall pay for the damages of wasting my time. Fuck you

!dev
What kind of idiot sends a random stranger “hello” on Instagram! What the fuck am I supposed to do with “hello”? Can’t you lead the message with your reason for messaging me? What the fuck are expecting me to reply with exactly? Are you fucking crazy?

So I've been a developer at my current job for about 12 years. I am the most senior level developer at my job. Let me state that I am a backend developer although I did frontend development off and on as well for the first 5 years of my career. However I have done no major frontend development for around 7 years now.

Effectively our frontend developer of 6/7 years just left.

We had an existing project in the queue and my boss expected me to do frontend development for this project which I did just to help out, but I am not getting any extra pay for this and I absolutely hate doing it. The only thing I was paid for was I overtime for completing the project quicker. With that being said I feel like I should be paid substantially more since I am doing double work and since they are not paying for a frontend developer. I'm literally doing her job and doing a better job than she did mistake wise doing her job.

Additionally many things have changed over the past 6/7 years and they have it in their minds since I did it in the past it should be the same now which isn't the case. So there are things in my project queue right now for future projects that they think I know how to do and I don't. It isn't that I couldn't eventually figure it out. It is just that I have zero desire to learn it .I just absolutely hate styling websites.

I'm ok with doing minor frontend things for projects but not entire websites

I literally develop the backend off all the sites we build setup Google tag manger tags/triggers, Google analytics, search console, Google looker studio, dns, site updates, manage all out Linux servers, do seo for content and sites. I can't handle something else on my plate. I'm currently having to rewrite a ton of code as well due to upgrades for our sites.

How do I respectfully tell my boss I refuse to do frontend work going forward or pay me substantially more on another project and that he needs to hire someone else without damaging our relationship?

I like my boss and my coworkers as people a lot outside of work, but I feel like I'm being taken advantage of financially and I'm honestly tired of it. As a developer for 12 years I'm honestly ready to just go elsewhere.

ChatGPT is so much better than Google:
instead of wasting my time by linking to unhelpful / outdated / unrelated StackOverflow resources, it tells me to do the work by myself right away:

> To ensure consistent pseudo-element width across different browsers, including Safari, you can follow these steps: [...]
> (some basic HTML/CSS 101 seemingly quoted from a 2015 textbook)
>
> It's important to note that browser behavior might vary due to different rendering engines or versions. While following best practices helps achieve consistent results, you might still encounter small discrepancies. Cross-browser testing is always recommended to ensure your design looks consistent across different browsers, including Safari.
>
> For any specific issues you encounter in Safari, consider checking for known bugs or quirks that might affect pseudo-elements and their sizing. Online resources, developer forums, and documentation can provide valuable insights into Safari-specific behavior and workarounds.

You design an idiot-proof system.

The universe designs a better idiot.

I used to think musk was smart af, genius programmer until very recently after he took over Twitter. The more he says about programming probably to impress the groupies the more I realized he has no idea Abt the topic.
He might know things about manufacturing and rockets but dude level of ignorance in software is astonishing

Oh no. Cat picked up a bad habit

The best way to learn any language is to start a project, that’s it, not up for debate

I'm offended by this sample alert text. I'm uninstalling the goddam library! (ง︡'-'︠)ง

I'm the only one annoyed by the emoji abusing programming influencers?

In particular I hate their presumption in proclaiming themselves experts in something just after following a swallow online course on it.

Fucking incompetence

Senior level developer with 15 years of software development experience ...

ends up writing brute force search on a sorted data - when questioned he's like yeah well dataset is not that large so performance degradation will be marginal

He literally evades any particularly toil heavy task like fixing the unit test cases , or managing the builder node versions to latest ( python 2 to 3 ) because it's beneath him and would rather work on something flashy like microservice microfrontend etc. -- which he cannot implement anyway

Or will pick up something very straightforward like adding a if condition to a particular method just to stay relevant

And the management doesn't really care who does what so he ends up getting away with this

The junior guys end up taking up the butt load of crappy tasks which are beneath the senior guy

And sometimes those tasks are not really junioresque - so we end up missing deadlines and getting questioned as to why we are are not able to deliver.

Fuck this shit ... My cortisol shoots up whenever I think of him

Specs: script adds extra files to zip, take the part out that adds the extra files to the zip
Me: *takes out the part that adds the adds the extra files to the zip, tests & ships to production*
Boss: Nooooo, I wanted the remaining bits added to this other script!!
Me: ...

I mean, she admitted that she made faulty specs but it still doesn't make it any less irritating and annoying and disrupting to my autistic brain. >:C

We have a new record!!!
23 people on silent call, watching one dude work.

schedule it for a few days in the past.