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Hey, i want to make a game and i need some help, so I'm looking for a team.
What i need is:
3 graphics artists
2 level designers
1 music composer
2 dialog writers
1 web designer for page and forums
What i will do, you ask? Well, I've got some really good ideas. I think the game should be like Final Fantasy, but bigger and better. I worked with RPG Maker for two months, but I'm best with ideas. I think my ideas would make some incred...
GO SHOVE YOUR IDEAS INTO YOUR ASS! The idea means nothing. I got an idea for the best game ever, right this morning while i was taking a SHIT!
Hobby teams need people who create content. And people who can do stuff will more likely work with someone who does stuff as well and has proven that he is able to get things done.28
Our testers want us devs to start paying 50 cents for each bug the testers find. But they won't agree to paying us devs 50 cents for each bug that makes it into production.9
BETA USER: Is this feature working? When I add a link I get an error that says "URL cannot be more than 255 characters."
ME (biting my tongue): Hi ****, Yes it works. The link you're trying to add is too long. Please try a shorter URL.
BETA USER: Oh, it should tell you that!
Let's get rid of the developer training: Pair Programming
Let's get rid of the software testers: Test First Programming
Let's get rid of the project managers: Agile
Let's get rid of the project planners: Scrum
Let's get rid of the system admins: DevOps
Let's get rid of the security guys: DevOpsSec
Let's get rid of the hardware budget: Bring Your Own Device
Let's get rid of the servers: Cloud Computing
Let's get rid of the other scruffy guys: Outsourcing
Let's get rid of the office space: Home Office
Let's get rid of the whole fucking company: Takeover7
// devRant unofficial UWP update (v2.0.0-beta)
After several concepts, about 11 months of development (keep in mind that I released 20 updates for v1 in the meantime, so it wasn't a continous 11 months long development process) and a short closed beta phase, v2 is now available for everyone (as public beta)! :)
I tried to improve the app in every aspect, from finally responsive and good looking UI on Desktop version to backend performance improvements, which means that I almost coded it from scratch.
There are also of course a few new features (like "go to bottom" in rants), and more to come.
It's a very huge update, and unfortunately to move forward, improve the UI (add Fluent Design) and make it at the same level of new UWP apps, I was forced to drop the supported for these old Windows 10 builds:
- Threshold 1 (10240)
- Threshold 2 (10586)
Too many incompatiblity issues with the new UI, and for 1 person with a lot of other commitments outside this project (made for free, just for passion), it's impossible to work at 3 parallel versions of the same app.
I already done something like that during these 11 months (every single of the 20 updates for v1 needed to be implemented a second time for v2).
During the closed beta tests, thanks to the awesome testers who helped me way too much than I ever wished, I found out that there are already incompatiblity issues with Anniversary Update, which means that I will support two versions:
1) One for Creators Update and newer builds.
2) One for Anniversary Update (same features, but missing Fluent Design since it doesn't work on that OS version, and almost completly rewritten XAML styles).
For this reason v2 public beta is out now for Creators Update (and newer) as regular update, and will be out in a near future (can't say when) also for the Anniversary Update.
The users with older OS versions (problem which on PC could be solved in 1-2 days, just download updates) can download only the v1.5.9 (which probably won't be supported with new updates anymore, except for particular critcal bug fixes).
So if you have Windows 10 on PC and want to use v2 today, just be sure you have Creators Update or Fall Creators Update.
If you have Windows 10 PC with Anniversary Update, update it, or if you don't want to do that, wait a few weeks/months for the update with support for your build.
If you have an older version on PC, update it, or enjoy v1.5.9.
If you have Windows 10 Mobile Anniversary Update, update it (if it's possible for your device), or just wait a few weeks/months for the update with support for your build.
If you have Windows 10 Mobile, and because of Microsoft stupid policy, you can't update to Anniversary Update, enjoy v1.5.9, or try the "unofficial" method (registry hack) to update to a newer build.
I hope it's enough clear why not everyone can receive the update today, or at all. :P
Now I would like to thank a few people who made this possible.
As always, @dfox who is always available for help me with API implementations.
@thmnmlist, who helped me a lot during this period with really great UI suggestions (just check out his twitter, it's a really good person, friend, designer and artist: https://twitter.com/thmnmlist).
And of course everyone of the closed beta testers, that reported bugs and precious suggestions (some of them already implemented, others will arrive soon).
The order is random:
Changelog of v2.0.0-beta:
- New UI with Fluent Design and huge improvements for Desktop;
- Added native support for Fall Creators Update (Build 16299);
- Changed minimum supported version to Creators Update (Build 15063), support for Anniversary Update (Build 14393) will arrive soon;
- Added mouse support for Pull-To-Refresh;
- Added ability to change your username and email;
- Added ability to filter (by 'Day', 'Week', 'Month' and 'All') the top Rants;
- Added ability to open rant links in-app;
- Added ability to zoom GIFs (just tap on them in the Rant View);
- Added 'go to bottom' button in the Rant View (if more than 3 comments);
- Added new theme ('Total Black');
- ...complete changelog in-app and on my website (can't post it here because of the 5000 characters limit)...
What will arrive in future updates:
- 'Active Discussions' screen so you can easily find rants that have recent comments/discussions;
- Support for 'Collabs';
- Push Notifications (it was postponed and announced too many times...);
- More themes and themes options;
- and more...
If you still didn't download devRant unofficial UWP, do it now: https://microsoft.com/store/apps/...
If you find some bugs or you have feature suggestion, post it on the Issue Tracker on GitHub (thanks in advance for your help!): https://github.com/JakubSteplowski/...
I hope you will enjoy it! ;)54
Welcome back to practiseSafeHex's new life as a manager.
Episode 2: Why automate when you can spend all day doing it by hand
This is a particularly special episode for me, as these problems are taking up so much of my time with non-sensical bullshit, that i'm delayed with everything else. Some badly require tooling or new products. Some are just unnecessary processes or annoyances that should not need to be handled by another human. So lets jump right in, in no particular order:
- Jira ... nuff said? not quite because somehow some blue moon, planets aligning, act of god style set of circumstances lined up to allow this team to somehow make Jira worse. On one hand we have a gigantic Jira project containing 7 separate sub teams, a million different labels / epics and 4.2 million possible assignees, all making sure the loading page takes as long as possible to open. But the new country we've added support for in the app gets a separate project. So we have product, backend, mobile, design, management etc on one, and mobile-country2 on another. This delightfully means a lot of duplication and copy pasting from one to the other, for literally no reason what so ever.
- Everything on Jira is found through a label. Every time something happens, a new one is created. So I need to check for "iOS", "Android", "iOS-country2", "Android-country2", "mobile-<feature>", "mobile-<feature>-issues", "mobile-<feature>-prod-issues", "mobile-<feature>-existing-issues" and "<project>-July31" ... why July31? Because some fucking moron decided to do a round of testing, and tag all the issues with the current date (despite the fact Jira does that anyway), which somehow still gets used from time to time because nobody pays attention to what they are doing. This means creating and modifying filters on a daily basis ... after spending time trying to figure out what its not in the first one.
- One of my favourite morning rituals I like to call "Jira dumpster diving". This involves me removing all the filters and reading all the tickets. Why would I do such a thing? oh remember the 9000 labels I mentioned earlier? right well its very likely that they actually won't use any of them ... or the wrong ones ... or assign to the wrong person, so I have to go find them and fix them. If I don't, i'll get yelled at, because clearly it's my fault.
- Moving on from Jira. As some of you might have seen in your companies, if you use things like TestFlight, HockeyApp, AppCenter, BuddyBuild etc. that when you release a new app version for testing, each version comes with an automated change-log, listing ticket numbers addressed ...... yeah we don't do that. No we use this shitty service, which is effectively an FTP server and a webpage, that only allows you to host the new versions. Sending out those emails is all manual ... distribution groups?? ... whats that?
- Moving back to Jira. Can't even automate the changelog with a script, because I can't even make sense of the tickets, in order to translate that to a script.
- Moving on from Jira. Me and one of the remote testers play this great game I like to call "tag team ticketing". It's so much fun. Right heres how to play, you'll need a QA and a PM.
*QA creates a ticket, and puts nothing of any use inside it, and assigns to the PM.
*PM fires it back asking for clarification.
*QA adds in what he feels is clarification (hes wrong) and assigns it back to the PM.
*PM sends detailed instructions, with examples as to what is needed and assigns it back.
*QA adds 1 of the 3 things required and assigns it back.
*PM assigns it back saying the one thing added is from the wrong day, and reminds him about the other 2 items.
*QA adds some random piece of unrelated info to the ticket instead, forgetting about the 3 things and assigns it back.
and you just continue doing this for the whole dev / release cycle hahaha. Oh you guys have no idea how much fun it is, seriously give it a go, you'll thank me later ... or kill yourselves, each to their own.
- Moving back to Jira. I decided to take an action of creating a new project for my team (the mobile team) and set it up the way we want and just ignore everything going on around us. Use proper automation, and a kanban board. Maybe only give product a slack bot interface that won't allow them to create a ticket without what we need etc. Spent 25 minutes looking for the "create new project" button before finding the link which says I need to open a ticket with support and wait ... 5 ... fucking ... long ... painful ... unnecessary ... business days.
... Heres hoping my head continues to not have a bullet hole in it by then.
Id love to talk more, but those filters ain't gonna fix themselves. So we'll have to leave it here for today. Tune in again for another episode soon.
And remember to always practiseSafeHex14
Who here uses `master` for development?
My boss (api guy) tried to convince me that was normal practice. I gently told him that it sounded crazy and very very bad.
Here's the dev path I'm enforcing on my repos:
(feature branches) -> dev -> qa* -> master -> production*
*: the build server auto-pulls from these branches, and pushes any passing builds to staging/production.
Everyone works on their own feature branches, and when they're happy with their work, they merge it into `dev`. `dev`, therefore, is for feature integration testing. After everything is working well on `dev`, it gets merged into `qa` for the testers to fawn over and beat with sticks. Anything that passes QA gets merged into `master`, where it sits until we're ready to release it. When that time comes (it's usually right away, but not always), `master` gets merged into `production`.
This way, `master` is always stable and contains the newest code, so it's perfect for forking/etc. Is this standard practice, or should I be doing something different?
Also, api guy encourages something he calls "running a racetrack" -- each dev has their own branch (their initials) and they push to that throughout the day. everyone else pulls from it regularly and pushes to their own branch. When anyone's happy with their code, they push from their (updated) branch to `qa` (I insisted on `dev` instead.)
Supposedly this drastically reduces the number of merge conflicts when pushing to an upstream branch due to having a more recent ancestor node?
I don't quite follow that, but it seems to me that merging/pushing throughout the day would just make them happen sooner? idk.
What are your thoughts?31
Random fact #0
Back in the days of SEGA Saturn, SEGA was really picky in terms of the game stability. All the games that we're about to be released had to pass a series of tests, like for instance they had to run for almost a week without any crash non stop on a real hardware, or withstand cartridge tilting. If it failed, SEGA wouldn't license it and developer had to fix the bugs and re-send it again.
To fool SEGA testers, game devs we're adding exception screens with the fake "hidden content". Like in Sonic 3D Blast, it presented a screen in the image below and then the level select screen.
So yeah, it's not a bug - it's a feature14
To tell someone that you’re wrong is called CRITICISM
To do it officially is called TESTING
Tester raises bug:
"Error when loading application in Opera 11.1"
Current Opera version - 48
No tester. Just. Fucking. No6
Me: So what you are doing in the IT field?
Him: I am hacking bank websites.
Me: OK, that's cool. It is good in free time. What is your actual job?
Him: I am seriously hacking the bank Web site!
Me: Trust me, if you seriously doing that you will never ever mentioned it...
Him: No, I am doing it legally... The bank hiring me to try to hack the website...
Me: OK, you mean that you are cyber security tester?
Him: That is almost the same...
Me: So you are tester?
Him: I am hacking bank's websites...
Hey everyone :D
I've been working on an medieval fantasy MMORPG called The Immortal Rift with a small team of developers from all around the world and we plan to start a closed beta before going on Early Access on Steam next month.
So I finished the pre-registration page a few days ago and I'd like to invite any of you that have some time to try it out :D
It would be nice to hear some of your feedback on it and I would be glad to see you in the beta too :)
Thanks for your time :)
PS. If you decide to come and give it a try, you can see me around with the name Necrogizer :)35
A major bank had a bug in their system that triggered multiple postings of transactions in all of their clients' accounts. When they found out the root cause, they just had to mention that the programmer was a female. Like that was any bearing to the problem. It's not like they have like a whole fucking team of QA testers that should have checked that shit before it went to production.14
So... my girlfriend has a very random work schedule. Sometimes she works 4 days a week sometimes only 1, sometimes only at the weekend sometimes not at all. If only there would be an app to track that... 🤔
She tried quite a few apps on the app store but they were shit/ugly/too complex..etc
Wait.. i’m a developer, i can do that.
She selected the colors, background, layout etc..
If she taps on a date it turns red indicating that is a workday, if a workday is tapped it turns back to normal color.
The main logic is:
//check if save is current month
She likes it.
Cool, so let’s build this! She has an iphone and my mac is still in the service center so i can’t build🙁
But its okay, i have a mac at my office, we can build there, the only downside is that is 40min of travel.
We take the subway, go to the office, build the app, make a certificate, install to her phone, everything goes as planned.
Coming back we were lucky enough to catch the bus that goes in 30 min intervals, we only had to wait like a minute so life is good 😃
I enter the house, chill down on the bed, pull out my laptop to close the project when a FUCK ME!!!!
I completely forgot to implement a whole else branch on start!!!
Soo the app does nothing when is opened on january 1😂😂
I guess that’s why we have testers and qa.. 😃9
Normally I just read rants but my new assignments is just to much and I have to vent a bit.
So I was assigned on a new company to help them with their automated tests (I'm normally a developer) which was fine for me. Especially when they said a guy that have 10+ years of experience have worked on the framework for a couple of weeks so it should be fine and ready. So I though it would be a quick deal.
But then I got there and... it's the worst C# code I have ever seen. I can live with the overuse of static, long method and classes and overally messy classes that doesn't really seems to fit (it's bad but not unusual in test code it seems). My biggest problem is overuse of the damn "dynamic" keyword.
Don't get me wrong, dynamic can be good and it have it's uses but here they use "dynamic args" in every single method, every one! They don't care if the method only require one value or ten values, they use dynamic args. Then you follow this "dynamic args" parameter going in to sub method after sub method and you have no idea what they use.
And of course they don't know if anyone use the methods correctly (as you have no damn clue what to use without checking the source code) so in 75% of the methods they convert the dynamic to an object and check if it contains "correct argument".
So what I have here is a code that isn't just hard to use, it's a hell to maintain.
So I talked with this with other testers on the team and they agree, but as most of them lack experience they couldn't talk back to the senior that wrote it. So I hope to sit down with him this week and talk this through because it would be fun to hear the arguments for this mess.
$rant = [
'long' => true,
'super_pissed' => true
Oh where to begin... I have to post this here, I can't keep it to my self and I need to rant, god damnit.
I spent the last year working for a company, on minimum wage(my own choice... I know). I have been slaving away on a project that should really have a 5 man team backing it. My boss is completely on another planet, and has unrealistic expectations.
He got me to work with a client after work during this year, which I basically spent 8 of the 12 months, after work... also slaving away on the clients project.
I was supposed to have been paid A LOT of money, yet, every time I asked, "the client hasnt paid yet". One day I get an angry message from the client, asking why her shit is taking so long, why theres still so many bugs, why we dont have testers, why she cant bring clients on... and so on.
I then find out, she has paid my boss all of the money over the last 8 months, and my boss is still asking her for more money. He has lied to her and told her that I needed the money for things, and pocketed the money for him self, god knows what for.
Yesterday, I finally left the company, because I also haven't been paid wages for the last 2 months, my dickhead "boss" now refuses to reply to me on any platform, via phone etc.
I now have the client spamming me daily, asking where her updates are, when they will be done etc. My boss also ignores her.
I'm a good human being, I have lots of patience and worked 8 months for free, but now she expects me to work a further 1-2 months to fix, and add EVEN MORE features she never fucking mentioned.
I worked through a couple of the fixes, out of the goodness in my heart, with the fact she already paid for the project... after all, it's not her fault, nor mine....
A couple of days ago, she messaged me she found a new "great developer friend, with lots of experience and great analytical thinking" for me to work with, to get her shit complete. So I jump in a call with her friend, to talk about her PHP/Laravel experience, SHE DOESNT KNOW A SINGLE FUCKING THING.
The client demanded I give her friend access to the codebase, even though I told her, she's not going to be able to do anything at fucking all. Now this "amazing developer friend" of hers, is supposedly going to fix all of my issues, and tasks "I struggle with", bare in mind, I've worked with PHP for just over 6 years now, Laravel about 2-3.
I FIND THIS EXTREMELY FUCKING DISRESPECTFUL AND INSULTING, IF ANYTHING. Not only is this "developer" not going to be able to do shit, but make it worse. It's going to make my life even more fucking hell. On top of this, the client just has really fucking stupid expectations, she thinks HUGE updates can be done in fucking hours, she thinks she can message/call me a thousand times at 6 FUCKING AM. (Shes from the US, I'm from the UK) and she expects these updates instantly.
I dont even know where this is going anymore, or what else to say, but I'm extremely fucking pissed off. I'm now out of pocket by about 10 fucking grand. And now I'm living like a fucking peasant. I had to move back to my parents, and now I'm stuck in the fucking living room and cant even concenrate. I'm probably going to have to sign onto fucking job seekers, and be told how fucking worthless I am daily.
And ALLLLLLL OF THIS, because my boss is a greedy fucking cunt. I have no fucking idea where that money went, or what the fuck he did with it. But fuck me, I hope you accidently crash your car and die.17
I was asked by our tester and scrum master to ignore some failing unit tests yesterday. The tester literally said "no time for tests, we need the build now". The scrum master is also a tester and agreed. I dont think I can respect either of them as testers anymore.3
Having to deal with stupid testers who think your app should be resistant to water and black magic and report a bug if it is not5
I just had a rather stressful morning. I should've known something was up by the sounds of thunder as I walked into the office.
I sat down and checked my emails. There was an email from the boss who was away on a business trip. The subject read, "CRITICAL BUG" and my name was mentioned. "Great...No time for coffee", was my first thought.
I began searching commits to see when and how the bug came to be. "SHIT! It was my fault", I said aloud.
(A bit of backstory, I am Irish, working in Germany with a B2 level of the German language.)
I now had to communicate the problem quickly with a senior developer who is Russian. He can't speak English well and I would not expect him to speak it. We are in Germany after all. I tried my best to communicate the issue, but I found it so difficult to understand his German in a Russian accent. Normally, in the office I speak German except when it is urgent and I must explain a problem in greater detail through English. I got past that obstacle, however, the real challenge of fixing the bug awaited.
After 2 hours of coding, I had a solution and committed it to the master branch. All the while, I had been replying to the bosses emails with updates, probably with many grammer mistakes.
We have no dedicated testers here and the code is written in a way which makes it very difficult to test (i.e. it was written many years ago). When I had initially written the code, I tested rigorously and found no issues.
Just needed to rant. I need a coffee break now...4
I'm seeing a pattern here... We devs/testers/sysadmins/etc. don't get to spend too much time outside... We talk about different stuff than most people... We are more intelligent than most people so we don't get their dumb jokes... Most of us like to work at night because that's the time when nobody bothers us...
We don't get a chance to find a girlfriend, we don't understand how it works...
We are doomed20
!Rant But after seeing this I laughed like hell I need to share this to all my dev folks.
Client: “Our next requirement, we need an elephant”
IT Team: But why don’t you adjust with a buffalo, even it is big…. and black?”
Client: No, we need an elephant only.
IT Team: Fine, I understand your requirement. But our system supports only a buffalo…
Client:We need only an elephant!
IT Team: Ok, let me see if I can customize it for you”
At the Offshore Development Centre :
BA – Client wants a big black four legged animal, long tail, less hair. Having trunk is mandatory. The same was documented, signed off and sent to offshore for development! Based on requirement all features are supported in base product (as buffalo), for trunk alone a separate customization is done.
Finally the customization is shown to client, and the client faints
Addon to this, testers completed their test case as above1
You Either Die As A Developer, Or You Live Long Enough To See Yourself Become The Tester
P.S. No offence to Testers. It just i hate testers8
I just thought this would be a good place to find beta testers. Mainly because the developer is prone to get bored and if they encounter a bug they will be a lot more helpful than "its not working"
Why is there so much hate against QA in general??
I read tons of rants about how bad testers are... and as a dev who does a lot of QA work, IT SUCKS!
We (devs) have to accept that are work needs to be tested! Otherwise we want be successful with our products.
BUT the testers need to know the development business! They should be trained at the same level as the devs are.
BECAUSE if the mug on my desk is smarter than the tester it is not going to work!
If the tester has full access to all the technologies, environments and tools (and are capable of using it) he has the ability to HELP!
I THINK that testing should be more than just follow predefined steps and let a random tool generate a bugreport.
I am sure that some of you are lucky enough to work with highly skilled testers so please let them help18
We all work on the same room: Devs and testers.
In order to communicate with each other without taking off our earphones, we use the chat app.
Ok, sometimes the chat app has delay sending messages.
I really, really hate when one of the testers comes to my desk without telling me he's coming to my desk! >:v and this is the reason why I hate it so much: I'm concentrate in my code, listening to ASP or SPA and, suddenly, I feel a heavy presence behind my monitors. I look up and I see a very penetrating gaze from the corpulent tester looking at me (he's tall). Every time he does that I almost have a heart attack D:
"There's a bug I want you to check" he says.
And I check my chat app if there's a delayed message from him. Nothing, NOTHING >:v
Always, when I want to go to his desk, I send him a message
"Is it ok if I go to your desk?" and he says me "You don't have to ask for it, just come here" but the thing is that I do that because I expect him to do the same :/
Fortunately this doesn't happen every day, but it pisses me off, and I don't know how to tell him to stop doing that because I don't want to be like a... jerk? intolerant? I don't know18
* Do not read before New Year.
Happy coding to all of you guys! My very best wishes for this 2018. May your code be free of bugs the whole year.
P.S. Fuck you testers (just kidding, we need you)8
I've programmed my pi to launch fireworks whenever a post of mine reaches 150 ++'s
Now I need some testers9
I am tired of toxic politics at work.
Signs of a toxic workplace:
* (good) decisions are discouraged rather than encouraged.
Someone wants to introduce a great optimization and guess what the reply is (often from someone IT-ignorant): wait a minute, you can't do that because we have all these nifty little hacks and if you dare to suggest change to our shitty system, we could not allow that! We want to stay in our comfy zone, no no!
* no one can make a decision unless Mr. favorite-developer-everyone-likes says it's a good idea. And even if he's wrong, no one cares to listen to anyone else's idea on it. Stupid Feudalism. One man decides over the entire codebase. That's just idiocy. Where's TEAM in there?
* thinking years of experience equals intellectual capacity. It certainly does not! There are senior developers with 15 years of experience who don't even know how to open commandline, or they didn't even know about Chrome developer tools, or how the HTTP spec is built. That shit just makes me cry inside. How can you give these peoples the title of senior when they know less than a freshman year kid?!
* ignoring people's education and/or capacities. "You just graduated, so you're a noob". Right, I know more than you, you idiot. You've demonstrated your ignorance often enough. Stupid ignorant colleagues.
* blaming politics (every team blames the other team and there's constant tension)
* roaming ignorance (no one in the company, and I mean no one, besides me, knows enough about Information Technology to make competent decisions or analysis)
What gives testers the idea that they know more than other members of the team? Why do they treat devs like they are mentally challenged?
What gives PO's that same idea?
What gives managers the idea that they can just yell at developers and threaten them with time pressure? Yeah, because the customers are breathing down their neck.
Just because I am a Junior Developer, that makes me stupid? I am tired of no one caring to listen to my ideas. I could save the company at the snap of a finger but everyone ignores my opinion (and often facts) on things.
People come in and instead of asking me for help, they ask everyone else for help, including the people who don't know shit about IT; now that's insulting.
Anyway, toxic politics.3
Happens every day:
"could you please fix those bugs ASAP? Testers are waiting for it"
*resolve the issue and inform the requester*
(two weeks later)
"Thanks, I'll inform the testers they can begin their tests"
Ugh, how ASAP makes everything seem so urgent and important
So here's the deal. I am a team lead of a small company and I have a junior who is an idiot. I mean literally, idiot. We code in Python mostly and as Python is not structured as a default Java or C# project, the developer needs to be very careful so that the structure (or tiers) is maintained properly.
Now this girl, always messes up the tiers. Say one enhancement can be easily implemented in the UI tier, she would do the implementation in the core Db access layer, which may complete this particular enhancement, but breaks all the other functions (sometimes the whole project) connected to that particular module of the Db layer. She doesn't do any integration testing after updating the code, she only checks the current enhancement she is working on. When the enhancement goes to the testing phase, the testers find those broken functions and that results a re-work (most of the times done by me).
I have warned her. Even our manager has warned her. She always tells that she is working to improve herself. But I know, she isn't. She mostly chats with her boyfriends (yes, with an 's') when she has no work to do. She never upgrades herself or works on her skills.
I can easily report about her, and they will fire her without any warning (they did it already with a guy earlier). I don't want to do that again. What should I do? Any suggestions?
Oh, she has a great ego. She thinks that knows and understands everything. She will listen to your suggestions carefully, but will never follow those.11
Some random coworker has been asked to setup tests for the framework written in Java and the GUI is a web app that comes with the framework.
Since he doesn't know any language we work in, he decided he would do it in Python. When I asked him why introduce Python and he replied with "it doesnt matter which language it is because it is going to run on selenium"
He didnt understand and is going to go with Python anyway8
Got moved to testing last week, (due to lack of testers) being a developer it requires a whole different mind set to test !!!
But running selenium scripts and again verifying manually sucks.
But what hurts the most is rejecting something that you approved during peer review 😱🤭3
Just used my first "It's not a bug, it's a feature" explanation 😂. However, the irritating part is, I had to explain it to another person from IT industry (I mean testers) who is from another company.
And it's really a feature and not a bloody bug. Stop reporting it on the bugs list 😥3
Dev: I think I just deleted data I shouldn't have. Can you do a rollback?
Me: No, I'm a DBA, I don't touch data. Did you commit?
Dev: Yes, I committed.
Me: Your data is gone.
Dev: But don't you guys do backups?
Me: We backup the Prod servers. We only back up Dev on request. Did you request a backup in Dev?
Dev: The Testers are going to be pissed.2
I'm currently one of two "pen testers" for the anticheat system of a game.
It all started a few days ago when the developer handed me the obfuscated package and told me to go at it. No big deal, I've bypassed it before the obfuscation, so I just changed some imports and sent in the screenshot.
Fast forward 100+ hours, it's turned into a cat-and-mouse game. He sends us (the testers) an update, we break it within hours. We show him what we exploited and he attempts to fix it. Rinse and repeat.
Finally, today he patched the one hole that I've been using all this time: a field in a predictable location that contains the object used for networking. Did that stop me? No!
After hours of searching, I found the field in an inner class of an inner class. Here we go again.3
Testers be like: "Error when using system (see screenshot)"
Nice one, super descriptive with where and what you did to encounter the error, oh and cheers for the finger nail sized screenshot!11
Today I had my first experience with testers.
I had submitted one of my changes to source code for testing.
They did a good job.
There should be a category for the opposite of rants.6
I was just about to post on here asking for a final round of beta testers for my web app before launch, and just before I hit “post” I thought of a massive issue.
Our CTO doesn't believe that tests improve code quality. We have no tests on any level, no testers/QA, no code reviews. Nada. I wonder why production keeps breaking 🤔 Guess I'll start looking for another job 🤷♂️20
Hoo boy, this is a (very) long one, so read at your own risk,
I'd say, don't judge/generalize people biased by the minority that represent the larger group,
But on the other hand, it's very difficult to do so, especially when working in a group consisting of several dozens of people (devs, tech leads, testers, designers, etc), in separate sub groups
Well first, the devs aren't working with the expected atentiveness to quality & detail, I am not in any way the best developer in terms of knowledge, in fact I might be just a mediocre developer compared to the other tech leads or the other fellow developer, but one thing is that I always tried to learn and try my best to do it in the best way I can,
Quite frequently (and from several specific persons only) I had the honor to experience these farce,
Some people just don't want to admit that they are wrong, clear as day, this specific part here is not doing what it's supposed to do due to someone's negligence, and I was trying to find out how it actually works and how can we fix this, that's right, "we", I'm not even pushing anyone to clean up his mistakes alone, I'm also taking part on it because that became my responsibility when I touched that part of the code, and it's my duty to make sure the job is done, and what did they do? Long story short, somehow the guy was getting angry for an unknown reason, then speaking in high tone implying that it's not his problem anymore, passing the responsibility to someone else, and ultimately everyone said I should figure it out by myself, yeah fuck you all, in the end I was very relieved to be moved back to my original squad and not having too much interaction with their group,
Some (probably) less worse occurences are the devs who rush ahead before they code, literally, it's not the usual "code first, think later", it's way more advanced version of it, let's say some tester found a bug, then it's assigned to a developer, the developer doesn't even bother to check the ticket description, only read the vague title, and doesn't even bother to check the actual behavior on the app, suddenly, there's a Pull Request waiting to be merged, it's mind blowing to see how his PR doesn't actually solve anything, in the end, it confuses several reviewers until they actually run it on their local machine and found out that the bug is either has been fixed or not recurring anymore or the fix doesn't do shit, fucking waste of time
And what about the testers? Sure let's not forget the stereotype about devs vs testers and vice versa, but the ones I'm working with is a real piece of work,
I have no problem with the testers who put a lot of bug tickets, or the ones that is very critical in their bugfinding process, at least that means they are doing their job properly, the ones that dotheir job improperly are the ones that ends up wasting everyone's time, just like above
One time, a tester was reporting a certain UI bug, a certain text was overflowing, it's an edge case and was assigned to me since I works mostly on UI,
A day went by with no avail at my attempt to replicate the bug, turns out he was testing it with his personal phone, which was not included in the device requirement for the project nor described in the bug ticket, but since the screen resolution checks out, the bug is considered valid,
Second day went by with no avail of replicating, my time spent trying all kinds of devices, simulators, emulators, until, the 3rd day a very lucky occurence happened with one other testing device, and another tester reported duplicate bug, obviously I borrowed the phone, and inspected every inch of possibilities, until I noticed something, "the font's kinda bigger on this phone" I thought, then I checked the settings, and lo and behold, the bug is caused by the device's font settings, fuck it, and fuck you
Another time was when I'm not sure whether the testers was being lazy or just acting preoccupied with something, when we create a PR, the specific branch must be tested by tester to ensure nothing broke because of the changes, then only when the tester OK'd it, the PR will be merged,
This thing frequently happens, especially when working cross teams, it's as if that the other team's tester is not responsible for my work, eh, here's two middle finger for you, I'll include my toes also, YOU ARE THE ONE REPORTED THE BUG FOR FUCK'S SAKE, and now you act like it's none of your business?, what's so hard about testing one single branch for a single teeny weenie feature and say ok on it, it won't even take 15 minutes, because I can do it in just 10 minutes, but only the testers had the authority to say that a certain PR is good to merge, fuck it
Last, the point above, "only the testers had the authority to say that a certain PR is good to be merged", and they seem to be flaunting it and act like an important person, fuck you
That doesn't cover half of the antics I saw, but whew, it sure is refreshing to finally speak it out3
TIFU by deploying not one, but two major releases to production at 5pm on a Friday. I trusted my testers, so one of the applications had a major bug in it. I just worked through a child's surprise party. hope the testers are having a lovely evening with their loved ones.1
Got a few Jira tickets reassigned to me because the dev who was supposed to work on them got stuck on another project. It's fine, that happens.
I open the tickets. No descriptions for all of them. No screenshots for those reported as bugs, nor any replication steps. No attached test cases or, well, ANY useful information.
I talk to our BA, he says that all information I need are in OTHER tickets on ANOTHER BOARD that business manages but I DON'T HAVE ACCESS TO. Honestly, these shitfucks could've just done simple copy/paste. But nooooo...
So I reassign all the tickets back to their original reporters (business testers) with comments requesting more information.
It's been a week. Now I have no idea what to put in my time sheet.1
Today was supposed to be the day we hook up the test suite and i fix the immediate bugs.
Today is the day none of the testers are at the office.3
Love it when testers loose there shit and take loads of screenshots, arrows everywhere, the lot...
But no explanation of what they are actually trying to show.
Don't you hate it when your testers file an issue under the mobile app project for bugs in the web app, because they happen to be using the web app on their mobile phone browsers and suddenly its the mobile app dev's fault?3
Testers be like "button is slightly too blue and four pixels too far to the right"
It was around 2013, I was working on a project that had a great business idea, a really really bright feature (to this day I state the same) and all I was getting was around 400e/month of salary. (still was a junior dev)
So, I've been going on vacation to Spain for almost 1.5 month, everything was settled, there were no more pending jobs for me as I've finished everything that I could until more things would be done on the application and design that were needed.
It was 2nd week there, I didn't have a laptop with me as it was full vacation mode, no internet connection as it was almost 100e/month at that time, house I've lived in had no internet either. Then, one morning I receive a call that I must be on a skype meeting in any case - it was live or die situation. Me being me - went to a local internet cafe that was around 3km away from the house (on foot) - logged in to the call and proceeded. (I knew something is going to be fishy).
And there it was - I was needed to go back to my laptop and code a huge ass functionality so that we could present it to our testing clients. It was estimated to take around 3 weeks of full working days. No future payment, no compensation was offered but as stupid as I was - I went on with that and worked half of my vacation on full-day schedule... The functionality was delivered... Only after 4 months since the delivery date - the functionality was tested and after total of 9 months - was presented to the testers... I was pissed and asked for compensation as it was my vacation but all I heard was - NO, you took too long of a vacation and therefore it's your own fault. Soon after that I've started to receive every bit of blame if I was even 1 hour off the set deadline that was set by the manager that didn't have a single clue how programming works or even how to use the internet properly....
All in all, I'm still hurt of the 3 weeks that I've missed but since I've left the job 4 years ago (my salary had increased but I've quadrupled it since then) - I tend to see that it's a common practice to require things NOW and only deal with them MONTHS later...
Morale of the story:
Avoid working on your vacation at any means. If that will mean a lost job - then be it, you'll find a new one, presumably a better job.12
Tester raises major "bug" about fundamental part of the system 1 week before sign-off....
What was it you ask?
"This field is validating my input and is showing an error"...
Me: "But sir, you have pasted text into a number input!"5
note: it is already dec. 23 in here
testers and another integration team are working for an urgent deliverable.
they just called, asking if i can come to the office and complete my code so they can use it as a basis/reference to theirs.
Looking for internal testers on my app. It's currently in Alpha.
Testers in my team have been told like 1000 times to follow the style guides that we all follow. That's not that big a deal. The big deal is that they were put on this project without having any mathematics background when the project is all about geometric stuff. So after me as a developer having to put so many hours to explain to them why the tests are not covering the requirements or why the tests are red because they are initializing the data completely wrong, I ask them pretty please to do the checks for the coding style and I have already been 4 hours reviewing code because not only I have to go through the maths and really obscure testing code to ensure that the tests are correct, but every line I have to write at least 4 or 5 style corrections. And some are not even about the code being clean, but about using wrong namespaces or not sticking to the internal data types. For fuck shake, this is embedded software and has to obey to certain security standards...3
Not having any testers.
Management assuming we devs can test our enterprise app using only auotmation tests.
Big surprise coming when we release.1
I just have to rant...
7 months ago, I was still a pretty new iOS developer, but finally coming into my own. My boss gave me my first feature ever... a fully custom backend tweaker for our development builds, complete with text fields that devs and testers alike could fill in themselves for whatever they needed to test. I worked harder on that than I’ve ever worked on anything... and I got to make all the decisions on how it looked, behaved, what exactly the user saw/read... everything.
A month ago the most senior dev on my team was asked to update the tool to prepare for a backend migration to a new server. He was then hired to work for Apple, hurried to finish this task, and left forever. (He deserves it, we probably were slowing him down realistically. But that doesn’t forgive the following...)
Unfortunately, he thought it’d be a good idea to remove my entire custom backend tool in the process. Not sure why— maybe he thought it was legacy code or something. He must not have tested either, because the entire backend selector stopped working after that. But that was no problem— I could fix the pre-filled environment buttons just by updating a few values.
It’s the fact that he removed 100+ lines of my custom code from 3 separate classes (including entirely removing one of those classes), for no known reason, and now I have to completely rebuild the feature. Since it was entirely custom, it required no change for our migration in the first place. But he rewrote how the entire view works by writing an entirely new VC, so there is no chance I can just restore my work as it was written.
And in the shared class, he erased every line with the word “custom.” So, so many lines of hard work, now irrelevant and only visible in old defunct versions. And my boss has asked me to “just make it look how it did before the migration.”
I know it’s useless to be angry at a guy who’s long gone, but damn. I am having a real hard time convincing myself to redo all this work. He removed every trace, and all I can think is WHY DID YOU DO THAT YOU FUCKING MONSTER? IT WAS MY GREATEST WORK, AND NOBODY ASKED YOU TO DESTROY IT. THIS WAS NOT EVEN RELATED TO THE TASK YOU WERE GIVEN, AND NOW A SIMPLE TICKET TO RESTRUCTURE A TOOL HAS BECOME A MANDATE TO REBUILD IT FROM SCRATCH.
Thank you for being here, devRant. I would’ve gotten myself into deep trouble long ago if I didn’t have this safe place to blow off steam 🙏4
So for the past 3 weeks I have been reporting that the development on X tickets has been completed and are deployed for testing.
Testers, fuck it we are not testing.
BA: yeah ok.
So nobody is testing.
And this Friday evening BA panics, starts emailing everybody, we need those items tested blah blah..
Now he is calling the testers over the weekend for testing 😂
And adds few more changes to requirements. (WTF)
Says:- He will also be testing over the weekend.
IT team :- Systems won't be working due scheduled maintenance. 😂😂 In your face BA
IT people best timing ever🤘
Hope he learns some prioritizing.3
WHY DO PEOPLE ALWAYS LEAVE CLOSE TO DEADLINES???
My team exists of three developers and a product owner. By the end of the month we have to deliver two new applications. It has not been going as smoothly as we'd hoped so far. However, one of the developers has cut his time for this project from fulltime to 1-2 days a week starting this week. The other developer is also needed on another project and has to run to the rescue whenever there is a problem with the servers, so he doesn't really solve any bugs either. Also he'll be leaving straight after deadline so he has to document everything only he knows and he'll be on holiday next week. Also, the product owner leaves tomorrow and will be back after deadline.
So.. Here I am, junior developer, have been here for about three months and I have to fix everything and do the communication to our testers as well. I'm feeling too overwhelmed right now...5
Fuck the managers !! Fucking Fuck Fuck !!!
I am in manual testing for 3 years. Wanted to move in to automation since 2016 January !
They kept delaying.
While waiting I kept autating stuffs and making utilities to use for everyone.
Recently automated a 5 yr old manual process.
Made an utility that can perform a 5 hours manual activity in 5 mins.
Our automation team had a vacancy.
The managers were asked to nominate names who could fill the spot from the current manual team.
They didn't suggested my name.
I am not bragging but I am the only person in the team who nows Selenium , UFT , Java , Python even though being in the manual testers.
The team is going to hire someone from the outside.
I just got to know it all this today.
These bastards should die in hell !!!!
I hate these bastards !!!!9
4 hours of estimation for a bug which won't repro
Fucking hate these testers (Floyidian bhai tu nai)24
Managers at my jobs for the most part leave me be. Though I often have no clue whether I'm doing OK. I guess no news is good news right?
My worst experience isn't that bad. At one place, I was the only tester working on things coming from 20-30 devs. After about a year+, the company finally hired more testers, but it was still only 3 of us.
We were in the final stages of releasing a build to prod. It was going smoothly, or so we thought. At the last minute, I found a buried bug that was a showstopper.
A lot of hatred on me that day, that once it was fixed, and the release was finally deployed, I just shut off my laptop and left. I took all the blame because I was the one who found it rather than blaming the team as a whole for not finding it earlier. Oh well. Stuff happens.
Let's knock on wood that I don't run into worse higher up stories.
I basically need a select few contributors to speed up the development process. Python3 developers, testers and researchers are all welcome6
A peeve of mine is when someone in the software industry denigrates a technology/tool/framework outside of his role eg webdevs on sysadmin stuff or viceversa.
I'm not trying to shame anyone for having subjective experiences, I just think that if you're gonna talk about tools that are not on your domain, then you need to be twice as humble as usual.
I'm a webdev and I don't post around how I KNOW how to make ssh secure, while other people devote their entire careers to that and all related matters.
What prompted me is seeing some not webdevs do this here that seem to be sysadmins/devops (can't tell for sure since I don't know them), but in real life, I've seen people from any role do this, webdevs too, even testers!
Imagine you had cancer, and you had a tumor extraction, and the oncologist said to the surgeon "step aside son, let me show you how to deal with cancer".5
A bunch of testers got laid off at my company and we're facing a release. So our PM put all developers on testing with a total of 6k test cases (!).
The overall mood at the office is not good..4
Landed a job as a QA Tester!
I start in two weeks.
Any seasoned testers have some tips/advice for me?11
This happened at the beginning of my first job:
Me: I want to clarify some things that wasn't specified in my task. I want to see if I need to do them and how I should solve it.
Senior dev: Don't worry about it. If testers pass the task back to you, then you do it. Just do as it is.
I'm relatively new to the whole development and stuff, so I have no idea how usual process goes.
So when my project moved onto closed beta, I thought I could rest a bit.
Apparently half the shit I've done sucks so much and I need to debug the shit out of it.
Bless the testers.4
Testers who find an issue that prevents execution of an early step common to many scenarios, who then dutifully create 150 tickets to fail each scenario individually, crowing on about how many issues they've found1
My boss keeps telling people to make sure to write stuff down during meetings. I feel like im in school.
Furthermore shes making our testers read application traces. And making me email it to them every time they want it because they don't have acess to our system.6
Just got to test the app from the frontend team... Oh God why!!
5 minutes, found 5 bugs (c'mon testers!!)
Worst (and now it's a rant) why do designers insist on working with big screens and don't test it on a standard screen? You know? Those typical screens your users are using?
So, it looks great in a 24" screen but the focus is terrible in a 15.6" screen... No time to fix it... What should I tell the users? Works better at 85% zoom out? -_-
You just fucked up the main feature of the app! Congrats!!! The rest looks okay I guess3
Why is there always one asshole!
New job just a month in, had a meeting where we could bring up improvements and put them on cards.
I brought up the idea of using slack so we could collaborate better or maybe a collab space. We all have our own offices or share with high walls.
The guy running the meeting has the same title as me said we never had that before, are you unhappy with yiur onboarding?
Slack or a messaging app is industry standard for even none tech companies. I was polite and said it was just a suggestion and it might make it easier to get help for the new people if there is a group chat.
Also brought up using a formatting standard so code reviews are spent commenting on spacing. I said we could you prettier to implement that and just pick a standard.
He said that was an issue because people were not paying attention before they pushed the code.
I am sorry I am new so I am rewriting and rewriting code all the time. I was to format on save and not spend time fucking formatting!
I could use a package before since it I formatted it would look like a bunch of fucking changes in git.
Why make things harder? Part of the meeting was how to get code done and PR’ed faster so it gets to the testers. Autoformatting shit would help.6
I'm in my first internship, they gave me their only company owned product. They always made interns work on that, and it's something I really appreciate (I like when people give to others any possible chance of learning)... But apparently they made a mistake: for the first year they never reviewed interns' code. And now that software is huge and full of bugs.
After two weeks working on that I said to the tech leader and to the PM that we should spent a couple of months rewriting more than half of the code, and surprisingly they listened and agreed (the TL already knew that, and the PM is not a dev and he listened to the TL).
After two days of code rewriting ("refactor" is a too weak word) the boss calls me and orders to stop, telling me basically "I agree on this decision, but not now; let's first make it work and then we make it great!".
Okay I respect that, but what he didn't understand is that the two things are strictly related!
Result: last week we had a first official release (with some client's testers, so they were expecting a few bugs) and nothing was working, so me and the tl started a really hard rewriting work (that didn't finish) and managed to release a very bade made software that works by chance.
After easter we'll keep working on this, and I think at the end it will be great.
First working experience, in two months I learned a lot (not only about code/tech).3
This isn't a funny rant or story. It's one of becoming increasingly unsure of the career choices I've made the path they've led me down. And it's written with terrible punctuation and grammar, because it's a cathartic post. I swear I'm a better writer than this.
- I left a low-paying incredibly stable job with room to grow (think specialized office worker at a uni) to become a QA tester at a AAA game studio, after growing bored with the job and letting my productivity and sometimes even attendance slip
- I left AAA studio after having been promoted through the ranks to leading an embedded test tools development team where we automated testing the game (we got to create bots, basically!) and the database, and building some of the most requested tools internally to the company; but we were paid as if we were QA testers, not engineers, and were told that wouldn't change; rather than move over or up, I moved out to a better paying, less fabulous web and tools development job for a no-name company
- No-name company offered one or two days remote, was salaried, and close to home. CTO was a fan of long lunches and Quake 3 Arena 1-2 hours at the end of every day. CTO position was removed, I got a lot of his responsibilities, none of his pay, and started freelancing to learn new skills rather than deal with the CFO being my boss.
- Went to work as a freelancer for an email marketing SaaS provider my previous job had used. Made loads of money, dealt with an old, crappy code base, an old, cranky senior dev, and an owner who ran around like the world was on fire 24/7; but I worked without pants, bought a car, a house, had a kid, etc;
Now during ALL of this, I was teaching game dev as an adjunct at my former uni. This past fall, I went full time as a professor in game dev. I took a huge pay cut, but got a steady schedule (semester to semester anyway) and great benefits. I for once chose what I thought was the job I wanted over more money and something that was just "different". And honestly, I've regretted it so much. My peer / diagonally above me coworker feels untrustworthy half the time and teaches the majority of the programming courses when he's a designer and I've been the game programming professor for 8 years (I also teach non-game programming courses, but those just got folded into the games program...); I hate full-time uni politics; I'm struggling with money for my family; and I am in the car all the time it feels like. I could probably go back to my last job, which had some benefits, but nowhere near as good; my wife doesn't want me back to working in the house all the time because that was a struggle unto itself once we had a kid (for all of us, in different ways); and I have now less than 24 hours to tell my university I want to not pursue longer term contracts for full-time and go back to adjunct next Fall (or walk away entirely), or risk burning a bridge (we are reviewing applicants for next year tomorrow, including my own) by bailing out mid-application process.
I'm not sure I'm asking for advice. I'm really just ranting, I guess. Some people I know would kill to have the opportunities I have. I just feel like each job choice led me further away from a job I liked, towards more money, which was a tradeoff that worked out mostly, but now I feel like I don't have either, and I'm trapped due to healthcare and 401k and such. Sure, I like working more with my students and have been able to really support them in their endeavors this semester, but... that's their lives. Not mine. The wife thinks I should stay at the university and we'll figure out money eventually (we are literally sinking into debt, it's not going well at all), while most people think I should leave, make money, and figure out the happiness factor once my finances are back on track and the kid is old enough to be in school.
And I have less than 24 hours it feels like to make a momentous decision.
Yay. Thanks for reading :)2
Fuck me I'm pissed. This sprint, my tech lead has been away and a senior dev has been covering for him. We plan a load of work and distribute stories and we churn threw it quite well. However, my senior dev says let's not deploy until all the works done. I was like, how is it going to be tested? He was like well it will be fine because it's all one test. Bs. We now have 2 days left, tester is getting stressed because they don't know what to test or what's been finished. Scrum master is asking why all of it should be tested at the same time and I'm here like this is fucking dumb. Also the tester decided to start testing with the most complex piece of work, rather than prioritising.
Starting to wonder if I'm just the outsider or whether no one understands that granularity is better.2
Reminds me of some of our testers, who raises similar bugs, if they don't get any issues in regression testing.
dev vs QA rant (n + 1)
So our QA is done by China team so naturally time difference is quite irritating,
I cannot change code
I cannot debug for issue
So today I fix a critical issue and before pushing it my seniors send the to the QA
> QA unavailable
> I wait for QA because nobody notifies if the code is tested and I can work ahead
> I get review that my issue fix generated another issue (page gets redirected)
> I'm angry and astonished, I check on same link, same circumstances and no such issue is found
> My seniors say read the issue properly and I do it, no positive response when I contradict the QA
> QA leaves for home on Friday and critical issue still remains in live
I cannot believe the laziness of QA, I mean it's their loss at the end of the day.
> top of that I waited 2 hours for QA to check the issue3
Oookayy, to continue from my previous rant, I kinda feel like living inside a slapstick comedy for the last 2 days, not the good ones at that, the ones that left you with vexation, so to summarise I'll just put the amusing conversations from the "team" for the last 2 days
On a side note, the team consist of 16 people divided into 2 squads, I'm still moving back and forth between the 2, and most of the time I just keep my silence,
*roll the intro,
- PO = product owner
- SM = scrum master
- D = dev
#1, "sloth, procrastination and ignorance"
*a dev came by to ask for some question
D: uhh, can you help me with this?
Me: sure what is it?
D: I want to be able to do this, so that it can be like bla blah blah
Me: ok, let me see, maybe you can do like (give a crude example on my laptop), there, let's try it, aand, it seems to be working, there you go, something like that
D: ahh I see, ok,
Me: well, ok
D: can't you commit the change and push it?
*seriously? It's just a crude example for you to follow, not a final answer
Me: uhh, it needs some cleanup, but you do get how it goes right?
D: I do but... the code is there so I don't see why we shouldn't use it
*because you need to fucking learn how to write it yourself
Me: and like I said, the logic could be better, here, you can peek and retype it (sheesh, like teaching a middle schooler)
#2, "Don't you have anything better to do?"
*in a morning "meeting"
SM: okay, good morning everyone (it's 10 AM), there is something I would like to discuss, first is our attendance, based on the company policy, our attendance should be 8-5, and I see some still arrive at 9 and some at 10, So I want to propose that we all committed to come earlier, say, like at 8:30
SM: because there are instances when someone needed something, some people are unavailable,
*fucking illogical, it's your lengthy meeting that needs to be fixed, this one later goes on for 2 hours just to discuss about attendance time
*insert intense discussion for an hour
SM: so we agreed for everyone to arrive at 9, and to enforce everyone to be more committed, I want to put a penalty in place
D,PO: what kind of penalty?
SM: we already have a pool for our "snack money" right, let's put the penalty there, and the amount cannot be just any amount, it should be an amount that leaves an impression, otherwise if it's just a measly sum, some guys would prefer to pay the penalties and coming late
D,PO: well, how much is it?
SM: let's say it's enough to cost you 2 days worth of food, we'll discuss the exact amount later, but it's something around that
D,PO: whoa" wait, seriously?
SM: yes, seriously
*everyone went into chaos for the next 1 hour, and in the end the penalty thing is postponed for the future
*but more importantly, for fuck's sake, 2 hours for a meaningless conversation? And there's nothing gained on top of all that? If this is the way you guys work, I'm starting to question your capability as a human being
#3 "Otsukare sama, but not to you, yes you, fuck you"
*much later at the beginning of sprint retro
PO: okay, first up I wanna appreciate all your hard work, word from the management is that they didn't expect for us to be able to finish our features so fast, for that I would like to give my appreciation to you all
PO: I want to say thanks to dev#1, dev#2, for making it possible, all the tester, ehh, but you (referring to me), you haven't done anything yet, so yours will come later
*what the fuck is that supposed to mean? I just nod and smiled
SM: ah, also one thing, the testers asks for a front end dev for our squad so here he is (referring to me), we finally have an FE dev, and a senior one at that (I have no idea, and never referred to myself as senior), and you, because you are considered as a senior, naturaly we've set a high expectation for you
Me: (smiled) eeh, I'll do my best (to get out of this ASAP)
*it's just been 4 days and you guys already prepared to shift the blame to me, neat,
#4, "The thing that was never discussed"
*in the middle of sprint retro
All: blah blah (talking about future sprint plan)
*fuck is this? retro or sprint planning?
D: uhh, I wanna ask something
SM: ok shoot,
D: next sprint we're gonna do feature X right? Looking back at what we did with feature Y, can we...
SM: we cannot talk about Y, we are currently discussing about X
SM: as I said, no talking about unrelated stuff, our discussion must not stray, we are discussing X
D: o..kay? Let's say, that we implement the same method as the one in...
SM: which feature are you referring to?
D: implementation of Y
SM: why are you still talking about Y? We are discussing about X, we must not stray from our current discussion got it?
D: umm, okay?
SM: good, let's continue with our matter, bla bla (ignoring previous discussion)
*what the fuck?
*roll end credits
*coffee time 5 issues*
*While solving issues 4 more issues*
*Total 11 new issues while leaving office*
Do testers realise the gravity of time?8
I'm looking for some beta testers. Preferably if you use a MQTT broker with some IoT connected shit.
Bonus points for IFTTT.
Leave something in the comments if you're interested and I'll get in touch if the time has come4
The heart of every software company is the development department.
- The sellers would have nothing to sell
- Testers won't have anything to test
- Technical support wouldn't have anything to install1
when your boss says "we are bringing in testers but the dev team is not allowed to talk to them" O.o !
I talked to the client how functionality should look like on UI, draw a mockup, designed and made changes to db schema, created REST api, made documentation how to use it, told frontend developer to make changes on frontend application according to the documentation and mockups. Still no one have fucking clue how to do it. Fucking testers can’t write anything, only clicking.
So I sent curl code how the fucking request should look like exactly then resolved bugs they reported as won’t fucking fix because I will not be also making fucking frontend. Probably they even don’t know what curl is. What a fucking fuck.
And that’s what I am mostly doing from Monday till Friday to keep this project going.
It’s cause client are nice guys and we are doing something good, not some fucking ai, blockchain, big data, financial scam everyone is wanking around.
And friends are asking, why I drink.
As some of you might know I am currently working in a QA Team.
One of my "colleagues" asked me to help him with the automation of a simple page.
The tool we are using could not determine if a checkbox on a mask was checked or not so he decided to open a BUG!
This is not a bug the page is working fine (the checkmark is visible and the server handles the data correctly)!!
When I asked him why he opened the bug he said "Because I want the developer to make that easier for me!!!"
WTF This is your job! JUST GET IT FUCKING DONE!
I work my ass of to close the gap between testers and developers...
BUT IF I SEE THINGS LIKE THAT I UNDERSTAND EVERY DEV WHO WANTS TO PUNCH HIM INTO HIS FACE!
FUCK YOU IMBECILES.
Fucking testers said the website is too complicated because I have a check box that needs to be ticked before they proceed...
This wouldn't be a problem if it wasn't due today and they'd got their arse into gear a fucking WEEK AGO2
The story of a normal release:
- tool gets tested "intensely" by 3 ppl quite a long time - everything works
- a major 2 days reserved as maintenance window for even more testing
- release starts
- first the admin panel of the server suddenly is not accessible anymore
- after some problems the tool is deployed
- suddenly servers are down and not pingable anymore - off on off on (provider has major problems .. good job)
- ppl start testing
- testers report lots and lots of new bugs - seems like the testing wasn't that intense after all...
- people start coming with lots of new requirements (oh we need to import those excels.. excels don't match our internal stuff.. )
- confusion over confusion
- getting pissed of a lot...
- quit caring and focus on another project
Fuck my life
Now i think Microsoft just want to use the win 10 users as testers.
After getting anniversary update windows started showing application not responding message for the FUCKING WINDOWS itself .
like if The OS itself is not responding shouldn't it just show BSOD rather than freezing?
Combined with the fact that it is almost impossible to go into recovery mode without the shift+restart , it just wasted a WHOLE DAY .
And my laptop(lenovo Z50-70) has pretty common hardware.
I learned my lesson and deferred Updates But for Some versions of windows That's not even an option.6
My mobile game is going live soon, but I need beta testers to give me feedback about the game. It’s a simple mobile game, think Ketchapp style. If you’re interested in testing and have an iPhone (😱), please either contact me here or on my website or wherever so I can invite you to TestFlight. Thanks!10
How rotten and half bitten is this most valuable Apple? See that they get quite some bashing for their latest Catalina release. And they deserve every portion of it, I think.
Honestly, when I saw our testers going through the different betas, which hardly installed and on which our software kept behaving differently, nevertheless they pushed their Golden Master and released. Didn't seem a good idea.
Currently I had to update to Catalina to check some small broken feature of ours and now the active window keeps on losing focus every few minutes. Have to grab the mouse and click there again to continue working. Really fucking annoying. Hope I can track it down some time.. or trash my iMac.3
How can I ask my coworkers for feedback without coming off as insecure?
A year and a half ago I got my first job as a remote developer when I was 30. I've done web and IT related jobs before but not full time development. Everything was fine for the first 10 months and then I started getting negative reviews, that my productivity rate is much lower than the rest of the team. I felt really sad and stressed, which led to a minor breakdown, which led to my contract being changed from a full time employee to a contractor that gets paid by the (estimated) hour. After a bit of research, I found out that my productivity rate was low because I was the only developer following our "One test per pull request" policy, which was obviously cancelled at some point, but nobody informed me. I didn't bring this up to my boss because I didn't want to make my manager and coworkers look bad. Working as a contractor isn't so good because a lot of times my features are delayed because of external factors I can't control(code reviews, testers, tests randomly breaking). I want to find out if I'm a bad developer or if the company is trying to cut costs by taking advantage of my insecurity and inexperience.3
It kills me when people performing UAT do not know how to test a particular functionality but still mark it as a defect when something uneven happens! We use IMF to build the input using tags. Sometimes they won't even care to know the right tag to fit in the params, but would still mark it as a bug whatsoever!
I *hate* it when a senior asks me to write a functional test report. Like I thought we hired functional testers to do that sort of stuff? I'm a programmer, I only write 3 things: code, documentation, and more code. Not freaking reports about how something did not work before, and after this 1-line fix does work. Oh and don't forget to include screenshots and a description of the issue. Arghhh4
So I was attending a Scrum Master training recently. During the introduction, the coach is making sure everyone understands why are they even on this training and stresses out that for a company to be able to actually become agile and survive the transition, people of different levels and roles/responsibilities should get familiar with Scrum, not only IT/developers.
Coach: I can see we have developers, testers and people from operations in the room, good. Too bad there's noone from the actual business. Anyway, who decided that you should come to a Scrum training and become certified?
Group: Well, the business..
Next month I am going to work as a tester(1rst work in IT), have no expiriance at all.
I would like to prepare, but what should I prepare for, what should I learn/repeat/exersice?
How many people have testers as part of their dev cycle?
How are they used in your organisation? And whats your opinion of hacing them?
Do they give you confidence in your work? Or do they slow your delivery down too much?2
My Company got a new Test lead today. She looks stern. Wonder if she is gonna make our lives hard as devs just like the other testers we have.
Is There any good open source test automation frameworks testers can use to verify database insertions, such as message transactions? Everyday I get questions from testers to verify data and it's so tedious looking at MySQL tables to see if there data is present.5
I would rant about apple and their horrible horrible system of just even being able to deploy an app to testers..
But you have to pay me 100$ a year so you can be able to find it out yourself, fuck support, we just want free money ~ herr jobs/ herr coo(c)k4
I just got slapped on a deadline that I will most likely not hit. This is after presenting the challenges and potential bug fixes that will need to be implemented before giving them something for the testers to play with. How do you guys deal with this? I'm starting to actually get real pissed off with these unreasonable time tables.
Best I can do is give them a half assed build. Fuck.3
Sister dev team shifts to another floor. Manager doesn't shift our places. Says since QA and testers are in this floor itself, stay closer to them -_-2
We have a patching system that takes a main version and applies small changes while they are able to work. I designed it inspired by how Google and Mozilla does it.
Last week I prepared a small change to the patch by replacing a single exe and leaving everything else so no database changes were required.
I committed the patch file and left it for our testers without changing version numbers as that wasn't required here.
Well... More changes were made and version numbers were bumped. Which required version changes in the database, but no changes were being executed by the tiny program that does that because they made changes to that instead of just reusing the old version to.
That change were made to prevent it from redoing old changes which I guess is fine. Except now it did no changes at all.
Please test if you change what I commit.
So I decided to build an event handlers to move objects by key press. I had an afternoon free and dont remember merging it to the codebase.
A few months later, something was pushed that took key press the event handler and the testers complained about losing the event handler I made.
End of the story, I added a feature that is still being used because I wanted to learn how to do something.
Tester waits for the batch job to take effect by receiving emails, until he realizes that it is impossible to receive any mail since password has already expired
I saw a thing on the Workplace stack exchange site. This college kid with no in industry experience read the false narrative that "pitting your testers against your developers for bonus money encourages better productivity and bug free code". And thought it sounded good on paper. This worries me in many ways (especially since he wants to make a startup). The first being that he couldn't see how both sides would game the hell out of such a system, which I feel any worthwhile engineer types would easily figure out. The second is seeing money as the major motivating force behind software devs doing their jobs. I had a third but I am tired.
But seriously, who is still writing this bullshit (that article, not the kid's question) in 2016?
After finishing my last lab for the semester, in testing, I really get a sense of respect towards testers!
How do you manage to have the patience?!
When the pen testers find a "vulnerability" and say it would be very difficult for someone to exploit it. Yeah, in that case they might as well say if you solve p vs np you can break it but it would be very difficult.
Someone testing the project i am working on with an iPad came over and started swiping up and down the screen and said look I can't see the price update when I click here.
Well move your fucking hand!1
For the first time in the 50 year history of the org I work for, they have planned to actually test a major upgrade of their EPOS system. This is a system that barely scrapes by, has been in place for less than 2 years and did NOT get provisioned in a professional, managed way.
Of course, they still haven’t managed to rustle up the required minimum level of competence to ensure the testing phase runs smoothly.
Today was the day a few of us were meant to test the new version. I receive an email, with all testers addressed, that outlines the process, but also informs me that installation of the new version has not been successful on my machine.
As the day progresses, it transpires that there are various problems on each of the installs. Some Remote Desktop investigating from the provider, but an end result of no testing done today.
This will be quite the saga, I foresee.
- no rant -
I don't want to shamelessly self promote or anything but I'm looking for some people to test out my php mvc framework thingy so if you want to and give me feedback it would be very much appreciated
I don't know if I'm terrible, or if this will sound familiar to anyone. I rushed so much of this project. That's not a good excuse for what's happening, but, speaking about it with a newly converted coder who is a good friend of mine, let him be called F:"
F: I'm so bored I'm going through my script and making a few subs for some repetitive code. I saved 90 lines today.
Me: Bored you say... debating what sort of code of mine to send you for you to ... review.
Because, the reality is, if I dont finish certain features by May, shit will hit the fan lol So I am considering asking for a boilerplate NDA and a few extra bucks from client.nickname, to bring on testers and/or UI guys and/or database guys.
But you seemed to be doing alot lately, so I was thinking, I would deal with fiverr and freelancer.com first
F: I dunno what use id be by May but I'll always look at stuff
Me: A ton. You could literally review any code in any language youre learning. Your review code be: address/models.py class Address 1. TODO for validating formatted address 2. Why is formatted address declared twice?
To which my response would be Fuck thats right and Zomg really
And if I knew about this... last week.. I'd be hours ahead of schedule and not have just forgotten why I needed to fix address
Unfortunately I am working in a firm where they consider QAs as some second class citizens. Also the QAs we have right now are purely blackbox testers who doesn't know shit about the system.
In my opinion a QA should know about the system and integration. They should also have decent programming skills.
What are your thoughts?2
You stupid tester first add you freaking requirements and not just put back stories on todo and say it's not finished. You are just testing how an web app works. We can also automate that process you know!!!!
The awkward moment when someone tells you that they use your software but that's impossible because it's in private beta and your the only tester...
There no tricks to writing tests, there are only tricks to writing testable code. - Misko Hebert(creator of AngularJS)1
Today, I found a bad bug. I fixed it and tried to understand what happened there. Story description was ok, dev was done on time, review performed (1/3 of the time needed to developed), testers were happy: story was DONE.
I feel uneasy as all protocols had been respected, and still, the code was bad and features were broken :(
When testers keep asking you to explain unrelated functionality instead of reading the documentation or asking bussines.
Testers who keep on filing bug reports after being told that ALL 999 errors are caused by a specific back end system
I like the people I work with although they are very shit, I get paid a lot and I mostly enjoy the company but..
Our scrum implementation is incredibly fucked so much so that it is not even close to scrum but our scrum master doesn't know scrum and no one else cares so we do everything fucked.
Our prs are roughly 60 file hangers at a time, we only complete 50% of our work each sprint because the stories are so fucked up, we have no testers at all, team lead insists on creating sql table designs but doesn't understand normalisation so our tables often hold 3 or 4 sets of data types just jammed in.
Our software sits broken for months on end until someone notices (pre release), our architecture is garbage or practically non existent. Our front end apps that only I know the technology have approaches dictated by team lead that has no clue of the language or framework.
Our front end app is now about 50% tech debt because project management is so ineffectual and approaches are constantly changing. For instance we used to use view models for domain transfer objects... Now we use database entities, so there is no commonality between models but the system used to have shared features relying on that..sour roles and permissions are fucked since a role is a page regardless of the pages functionality so there is no ability to toggle features, but even though I know the design is fucked I still had to implement after hours of trying to convince team lead of it. Fast forward a few months and it's a huge cluster fuck to enforce.
We have no automated testing of any sort or manual testing in place.
I know of a few security vulnerabilities I can nuke our databases with but it got ignored.
Pr reviews are obviously a nightmare since they're so big.
I just tried to talk to scrum master again about story creation since any story involving front end ui as an aspect of it is crammed in under one pointed story as sub tasks, essentially throwing away any ability to calculate velocity. Been here a year now and the scrum master doesn't know what I mean by velocity... Her entire job is scrum master.
So anyway I am thinking about leaving because I like being a developer and it is slowly making me give up on doing things to a high standard and I have no chance of improving things, but at the same time the pay is great and I like the people.
Today before leaving, the QA said she found problems in 3 issues I've been working on, until now everything was ok. Tomorrow is the closing of the Sprint but I can't present this progress because it's not completed...
I know the QA is doing her job but why now?
Hopefully I'll fix it tomorrow before the meeting1
Hi, as a developer turned tester I was wondering if anyone here would hear a talk about what on earth testers actually do in a project and how they contribute to the product? I mean besides writing automation scripts or checking if all the requirements are met (the latter is really the most boring part of testing).
I am thinking of doing a talk on this but don't know if Devs might be interested and which conferences I should target.2
Starting to get a few beta testers for my website(real estate platform) today.wish me luck guys.hopefully they like the functionality.i still haven't made the front end pretty though.oh yeah.and it's my mid year cs101 exam1
In my 4 companies i worked with, one thing which i learnt is the Product documentation is only needed by the Managers, neither the client, nor the users, of course not the developers. We hate them more than the testers.
Anyone ever heard of robot framework? Its the biggest pile of shit i have ever seen! WHY THE FUCK CREATE A TEST FRAMEWORK FOR TESTERS WITHOUT REAL CODE AND JUST KEYWORDS WHEN ITS SO FUCKING COMPLICATED TO USE THAT NO FUCKING TESTER CAN DO ANYTHING WITHOUT HELP OF A DEVELOPER. this shit tests cost me hours each week to fix because every minor change breaks like a a dozend of tests... i dont rant often but everytime i have to fucking take a lool at that shit a start to boil...3
Great feeling when the pen testers couldn't find the "unfixable" vulnerability your new feature created, and you go on holiday soon.
There is no dedicated test team In the corporate our company outsources developers to.. so whatever the developers don't test themselves (and developers are poor testers for their own product) is then tested on... production? FML.. oh yeah and the quality of the bugreports - that's yet another story..
One of our testers got the brilliant idea of switching the desktop environment to KDE on some debian. Response of our Qt-application: crash! - "Cannot mix incompatible Qt library"
Yeah. And we only want to support five distros in at least three different versions.
POs and scrum masters - looking for alpha testers for a side project I'm developing.
Asking for a friend....
New job, fairly new to web development, very new to JS. I am failing miserable at my job can’t complete tickets which are mostly bug fixers created by testers. So I am debugging code that I didn’t write on a tech stack I do not know (ampersand, q, radio, lodash, react, etc)
Do I try to learn the language better?
Focus on learning debugging with dev tools and getting better at using the webstorm IDE.9
Oh I just gotta love how low quality selenium is. Gotta love the fact that sometimes you need to commit your code 5 times before selenium tests do not fail completely randomly and the whole commit is rollbacked. Like I don't fucking have other shit to do other than wait for these retarded tests to finish just to expect that with 90% probability they are going to fail because selenium is a huge pile of poop when it comes to UI tests. Also testers do not seem to give a single fuck since they just keep writing more of those instead of making old test more stable, fucking awesome.
Fucking Apples hold my bananas! Collegue and me see our naïve thought refuted that a commercial vendor, most valuable company would create an OS that is not as split and fucked up as Linux distros.
It is hard even where to begin, so deep is the shitfest they are putting developers through with Mojave and Catalina.
Our testers weren't hardly able to install Catalina beta 6-7. Behavior of kernel extension and full disk access varying on a daily basis. Fixing these bugs is like nailing a pudding to the wall.
Makes me wanna quit software. Whom should you trust if even your OS is flaky as hell?9
Hey I just launched a beta test for a IOS news app for my school. Any reviews would be greatly appreciated. Don’t worry about the articles not loading, I’m about to migrate websites. Thanks!
You will need to download TestFlight:
I am currently working on an app for watchOS and I am looking for people who own an Apple Watch and a Sonos speaker that want to test my app.
The app allows you to control your Sonos system from your watch. It features grouping, music control and playing Sonos favorites
If you want to join click the link
Thank you very much,
Did anyone of testers know if there is any free online test case management tool available for small development project? since I was trying to use JIRA, but the license is not free. So any advises? Thank you.2
When I was working on the bug list and our testers kept repeatedly assigning me new bugs and "do-overs" I don't think I've ever been so angry
Discussed about a even dumber downed manual and told me it was to difficult for non dev or testers to understand. Asked him which part, he didnt answer. Well, FML.
When I get a code review by my self-proclaimed expert colleague suggesting a change that ends up breaking the feature, I just implement that spaghetti code and let the testers know I'm not to blame.
I had a mandate to help bring a couple of fellow QA testers up to speed on basic automated test code, fill in any knowledge gaps and answer questions.
Met with one co-worker and figured I'd start with his questions and work from there. He opened his test code and said he focused on learning 'if statements' last week but his test isn't running and just throwing errors.
Upon inspection, I realized it was a deeply nested (sometimes 10 or more conditions) single method soup that had never been run through even a syntax check. I blinked... *coughed* and spent the next few hours trying to "port the desired functionality" to a new file while he watched.
Best way to find beta testers for a new project I'm working on website wise? Has a cryptocurrency topic but not for profit..?1