My friend said an intern designed this UI for an internal site.

No. Just... no

1. Go to Desktop and create a new folder
2. Name the folder Internet Explorer
3. Change the folder icon to Internet Explorer
4. Keep it in a corner of the desktop

Now, no one will open internet explorer 

A surprisingly honest sales site

When I am trying to figure out what's going on in the code

Thank you Google for splitting my package

Worst part of being a dev?
Unanswered stackoverflow question that exactly matches your problem

Windows is being an over-achiever today

I let my wife use my laptop for a minute. She closed all my tabs and I can't restore them. Our love died inside a little today.

Just learned new skills...

This might happen very soon.

I really feel insecure, when it threatens me!

Or that...

Check out this superb website that I made..

http://localhost:8080

Exception handling.

What only relying on JavaScript for HTML form input validation looks like

well, sorry Dave

Everyone always says the previous developer was crap, sometimes you're right

when your janitor knows his audience

And that was enough encouragement

My girlfriend dumped me after I named a class after her. She felt I treated her like an object.

When a hiring manager wants 5+ years experience in Swift.

Swift release date = June 2, 2014

😂👍🖕

Me: 1 is something, 0 is nothing, NULL is the absence of things
JuniorDev: wut
Me: You've got pizza in a box, that's 1. If there's no pizza in the box, that's 0. If there's no pizza and no box, that's NULL.
JuniorDev: OOH so there's no object to reference if I ask for a slice!
Me: *small tear*

Always explain things in terms of pizza. Always.

got commit
got add
got pull
got push
...

Typos.. every.. Damn.. time.. so I assigned an alias for got = git

Just got back from vacation...

git pull

A group of wolves is called a pack.

A group of crows is called a murder.

A group of developers is called a merge conflict.

void walks into a cave
doesn't return

"Everyone can code" - Tim Cook
Clearly you've never met my team!

True!

You realize how beautiful it is to work in the back-end when...

"Can you move it down 1px?"
"Can you try this color?"
"Can you make it pop more?"
"Can you make the animation 0.01ms faster?"

Millions more...