IoT is when your ai powered toaster is mining bitcoin to pay off its gambling debts it has with the smart fridge.

I used to think that Google knew too much about my personal life, but now I feel like someone finally gets me 😍 (screenshot)

I alias my "sudo" to "please" so I can practice being polite to my server and code more.

Just found the best dev ever.

https://alcohollick.com/tfw.html

!rant

In GitHub I'm more social. Fuck you Google and Fb 🖕🏼

My laptop has a DVD drive.

Now I know I need an upgrade

Tips for being a real devRanter:
- Fucking swear a lot
- Use Arch Linux
- Dark theme everything
- Fuck Windows

F1: why you always use Go and Django for web applications.
F2: umm, because it's not JavaScript ?

Well that was a fun call I just had.

Owner of the company I freelance for: Hey I forgot to tell you something.

Me: What?

Owner: I bought you a plane ticket to fly to Puerto Rico. You're heading out in a month.

Me: What?! Why????

Owner: To set up cryptocurency mining rigs.

Me: Just because I know a bit about mining doesn't make me an expert.

Owner: We have $80k in our pocket in investments from outside parties, with another $20-30k on the way. You get 20% of the coins mined for as long as you manage it.

Me: So we're gonna set up several rigs, utilizing a b250 motherboard, g4400 CPU, 8GB of RAM and 10 GPUs each. We'll have AMD rigs for monero and Nvidia rigs for Ethereum and others. We'll use awesome miner for profitability switching on the fly. Each machine is probably going to be $5k each, possibly $4k with bulk discounts. We'll need at least 1500W per rig for power, 2000W to be safe, so we need to make sure we have ample power delivery to the mining warehouse.

Owner: I thought you weren't an expert?

Me: I'm not, but when there's money involved my motivation to Google goes into overdrive.

Found this on twitter 😂

Client : pls put the disclaimer that the site uses cookies.
Me: but we don't use cookies this is a static page
Client: Still, the pop up makes the site look more professional, kindly add the feature asap
Me: :/

For those of you who are having interviews ... remember this

I believe this has saved us every so often...

When you go to type portal.office.com and pornhub.com appears in the auto fill on a clients computer..

"I want blah blah blah and I need it now! There's a commercial expression called TIME TO MARKET!"

And there's a programming expression called TIME TO DEVELOPMENT, you stupid brick.

tfw...

• dude chews you out for broken code
• wait patiently for dude to finish
• head on down to "git blame" town
• show him that _he_ was the author of said broken code
• tell dude to take a seat

🤫🤫🤫

Peer-to-peer connection.

🙂

Me: I want to do something exciting and miserable
My idiot friend: Deletr the production DB, yor life would be fucking exciting but unfortunately miserable in very few seconds

Best AppStore changlog I’ve read all week:

“Temporarily disable sending usage statistics data”

Why? What happened! I must know more!

Started with planning to develop super Mario Bros. Using python.
Ended up with a music player which can play ogg (and mp3 files with 320 kbps bitrate) .
Why!?

I really wish I had worked somewhere that was hacked, so as to know how it was done, how it was found out, and what measures were taken, from the inside.

The problem is that I worked at a lot, and big places. We were never successfully attacked or hacked as far as I know. Was our security so good, that nobody succeeded? Or was it so bad, that we didn't even notice?

(sensitive parts censored)

Friend: Hey, can you hack my (some website) account?
Me: Depends... What's your username?
Friend: (tells username)
Me: (clicks forgot password?)
Friend: I will give $10 if you do it. There is 2 factor authentication enabled.
Me: (silence) Ok.
Website: Please type the class number you were in in 4th grade.
Me: Hey, did you graduated BLAH elementary school?
Friend: Yeah.
Me: Ahh, I remember. You moved to BLAH elementary school in what grade?
Friend: 4
Me: Hmmm, I don't remember seeing you. What class were you in?
Friend: 5
Me: Well, I now remember. Stupid me. (smirks)
Friend: Haha. (continues to play games beside me)
Me: (Types in 8)
Website: We sent you a password to blah@example.com
Me: (uhh, heads to example.com and clicks forget password?)
Email: Please type the class number you were in in 4th grade.
Me: (wtf is this, types 8)
Email: Please type the teacher's name when you were in in 4th grade.
Me: What was the teacher's name?
Friend: Huh?
Me: When you were in 4th grade.
Friend: Ahh! John Smith.
Me: Ahh, he was strict, right?
Friend: Yeah (continues to play games again)
Me: (Types in John Smith)
Email: Set a new password.
Me: (Types "youaresostupid")
Email: Done!
Me: (copies PLAIN TEXT password from email, logs in to website)
Me: Da-da!
Friend: (gasps)
Me: Money plz~
Friend: Nope.
Me: (wtf, then remembers i changed his email password) Fine then.

=====================

1. There is 2 factor authentication enabled. : Got it?
2. The website sent plaintext password.
3. He is just pure idiot.
4. I didn't got the money.
5. I am now a h4x0r

Just read that Rusts compiler is written in Rust. How did they compile the first compiler?

Coding is a form of art. Some of my coworkers don't understand this and it sucks.

Coding should be an obligatory assignment in all schools. Not because I love it, but because they will.

Coding is a lot like philosophy, it opens up your eyes in so many ways.

That's it folks. Thank you for reading.

"The culture here is one of success based upon academic excellence, studying, learning, practising and having a good job and a great life. For upper India, not the lower. I see two Indias. That's a lot like Singapore study, study, work hard and you get an MBA, you will have a Mercedes but where is the creativity? The creativity gets left out when your behaviour is too predictable and structured, everyone is similar."
Steve Wozniak on Indian Talent.

As an Indian, I agree with him. In this day and age, where education is so easy to come by, We live in a country where from the beginning we're told that education is about getting marks and writing stuff down 10 times. We live in a country where we're asked to cram up answers to questions which start with "what are your thoughts on..". How can we expect to be creative?
Can marks be a metric for good candidate in a country where the thought is, "first complete your engineering with good marks, then think what you wanna do in life".
Should academic excellence really be about the amount of shit a guy could cram up?

Sure it's easier to filter out people on the basis of marks in a country with 1.3 billion people, but is it justified?
Can we justify "success" as a good job for a guy who's life's only achievement has been getting into a good engineering college?
Can we really consider a guy successful, if his only "effort" has been reading and rereading books twice, thrice, a million times. Is this person, who has literally crammed his way into life, and has no practical experience, really successful?

This is the very reason Woz giving such a statement is justified. As long as we as a country gives up the stupid thought that patriotism is all about abusing the guy who says something negative about the country, and we actually start taking an action and change our thoughts on education, we won't succeed.

doomsday out 🤟

So, I recently switched to DuckDuckGo and my fucking college REDIRECTS THE FUCKING URL TO FUCKING GOOGLE.

FUCK YOU!!!!!

Shopping for computers is so fun and relaxing than shopping for makeup.

So here's the scenario...
I walked into a makeup store and I was looking for lipstick. I was wearing my devRant shirt, jeans, and a laptop backpack. A sales lady approached me and just stared. She didn't even ask what I was looking for. The way she looked at me made me feel that I don't belong there. She should've just left me alone than giving a judgemental look. I got intimidated so I looked at her and gave the biggest smile, then fleed. I panicked. I salute those female developers who doesn't have problems shopping for girly stuff!

For the record, my sister encouraged me to wear a little makeup so that I don't look stressed. That made me decide to go to that makeup store. I'd rather order online now.

It's so hard to not be girly by nature.

School has default router username and password. And it's not just a shitty tp-link router. It runs linux.

Made a simple reverse shell and I have a fully functional linux computer. Not really a hack, but it's sad.

Soon to get to the school server!

Client has a hand drawn logo. Which is really bad.
We build a website with the same concept.
Client keeps telling us the website doesn't look sophisticated enough.
How do I tell them it's the childish logo?

Hey assholes, if you need a cms dev. Don't hire a front end dev to do your dirty cms bullshit. Sorry, NOT sorry.